It's Always Been You
by kimee0479
Summary: Bella grew up with Jasper as her best friend. When Bella meets Edward Jasper realizes that he let the love of his life slip away. When Edward turns out to not to be the the man she thought he was. Jasper is there to pick up the pieces of Bella's dreams!
1. Chapter 1

Bella's POV

As a little girl I always dreamed of a storybook, fairy princess life. I wanted a white knight to sweep me off my feet and carry me off in to the sunset on his white horse to his kingdom. I was such a little diva then. My room had a giant mural of a fairy tail prince one his pure white stallion carrying a princess with flowing brown hair off in to a gorgeous purple sunset toward a castle that was off in the distance. I had a twin 4 poster bed dressed up with pink and white lacey bedding. I had a shelf full of Disney Prince, their horses and Princess Barbie Dolls. I had the fancy castle that went with them too. I had to dress as a proper princess would, in fluffy pink dresses and my hair had to be braided. I would tell dad I was going to let it grow out like Rapunzel in that fairy tail about the tower. Did I mention I was spoiled? My dad indulged my every whim, partly because my mother passed away soon after my birth. I was daddy's little girl. My father was that guy you see sitting on the front lawn next to a giant purple unicorn with a pink tiara on his head while holding a tiny pink and white teacup with a pinkie in the air having a tea party with his little girl. He has also been known to act as a back-up cheerleader to a pint sized "head cheerleader" dancing like a fool just to see his little girl smile. I am blessed to have such a wonderful father. My dad was my white knight then.

Every Sunday after church we would always cook out with my father's best friend, Carlisle and his Family who lived just across the street. Their kids Jasper and Bree would play with me in my room. Bree was my age and Jasper was a year older. He adored Bree and we took full advantage to talk him in to playing with the dollhouse. He was always the prince on the white horse and we took turns being the princess he rescued. Once a year on the 4th of July Dad and Carlisle would rent a huge boathouse and put on a BBQ and invite both of their families. I always looked forward to those because Gran would come down and stay for the weekend. There was food, games, and then we would watch the town's fireworks display.

Carlisle's wife Victoria watched me while dad was at work as the Chief of Police. Bree quickly became my best friend since we were after all both princesses. Jasper always played with us. He was her white knight. I thought it was sad that Bree's dad rarely played with her like my dad did but Jasper filled that void. I noticed Bree's mom Victoria wasn't nice to Jasper like she was to Bree. She would send he and I off to play outside a lot while she spent time with Bree. At those times Jasper would read to me or if I was at home he would come play with dad and I. Sometimes he seemed so sad. He told me once he didn't think his mother loved him. I was sad for him. He was always so nice to Bree and I. I also noticed he would go out of his way to try to gain his mother's approval but she never noticed anything he did for her. I would see him hang his head and walk away sadly after she shooed him away instead of praising him for helping her sometimes I would find him crying by himself so I would snuggle in to his side and do the only thing I know to do. I hugged him tight and cried with him. I wanted to talk to my dad about it but I promised Jasper I wouldn't. It was so sad to see my friend carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.

There were times Bree would have dance class or a pageant and Jasper was left with a sitter. Jasper and I got along well and the sitter was great. She baked cookies and played with us. One day she even showed us how to make mud pies that made Jasper more enthusiastic about having tea parties with us. We kind of looked forward to the sitter after that. She would read to Jasper and I. Jasper fell in love with 'Treasure Island" and he and I would reenact the story. I quickly traded in my frilly dresses for blue jeans and ponytails. Jasper showed me how to climb trees and swing from a rope. Bree hated our new playtime activities. We did still have tea parties it's just most ended in Jasper and I swinging from the trees and Bree whining and stomping off into the house.

Once Bree and I got to grade school, we were inseparable. On the weekends I either stayed with her or she stayed with me, unless she had a pageant then Jasper and I would get to go camping and fishing with our dads.

Just before school ended Bree and I sat on her bed watching Victoria packed for another pageant I wondered how long they were going to be gone because Victoria had packed nearly everything Bree owned. I had asked Bree and she said, "Mom said this time would be really long. She says it's a new beginning." I worried over that statement all day. That evening I told my dad I thought Bree wasn't coming back. He smiled softly and said, "Sweetie I know you miss her when she's gone. She always comes home!" It put my fears to rest for the night.

The next day I hugged Bree good-bye for what I feared was the last time. She and her mother drove off and disappeared with out a trace leaving Carlisle and Jasper alone. Dad and Carlisle had searched everywhere but never found them. They were just gone. Jasper and I always wondered where they were.

Dad and Carlisle hired the sitter that Jasper and I loved and things slowly fell into a routine. Wake up, school, sitter and bed and on the weekends we would camp, fish, and hike. When Carlisle worked the weekend Jasper would stay with us. He had claimed the guestroom as his be the end of the summer. My cousin Emmett would come over to the house to play with us. Jasper and Emmett soon became friends too. A new family moved in next door to me and they had a girl, her name was Rosalie Hale. She was Jasper and Emmett's age and she thought Emmett was cute. I was so jealous of her long blond hair and eyes the color of her blue jeans.

We were all inseparable from then on. When we weren't in classes we were together. I was happy to hang out with them and saw no need to make friends in my own grade. It was great until Emmett, Jasper, and Rosalie started high school; I was alone again in school. We still hung out after school but it was lonely at school. That was the longest year ever!

I was never so glad to start school again as when I started high school and we were back together again but it wasn't the same with Emmett and Rosalie. Jasper had started playing baseball and Emmett started playing football. Things had changed so much. Jasper had a new girl friend, Maria. She was a softball player that I knew from my team. The baseball and softball teams hung out quite a bit so Jasper and I remained close. Emmett and Rosalie had started hanging out with a group of kids that drank and threw wild parties. Unfortunately for me Dad had asked his brother to have Emmett take me "under his wing" so I became Emmett's shadow. I hated being dragged to those parties. There were always drunken fights, and party girls crying throwing a fit. Emmett and Rosalie would inevitably sneak off to be alone and I was left to sit and listen to my ipod over music that was way too loud and not my style and what ever random guy was trying to convince me that sleeping with him was a good idea.

There was one day in particular that will always stand out in my mind. Emmett had dragged my to a party at one of his friend's houses. I didn't know anyone there except for Emmett and Rosalie but they quickly disappeared into the partygoers.

I sat by the window watching for Emmett's car to pull up trying to avoid an older boy named Tyler, who kept trying to get me to leave with him. It was then that Jasper walked in franticly searching the room for someone. I walked up to him his face softened from the scowl he was wearing into a relieved smile, he pulled me into a hug and tucked me in to his side and said in a tightly controlled voice, "Hey, Bell's! Where's Emmett" I could tell something was wrong I just wasn't sure what.

I said, "I'm not sure where he went. What's going on Jaz? Is something wrong?"

"Yes, there is something wrong! Emmett brought you to this party and left you alone! You shouldn't be here in the first place!" He growled then softened seeing the look on my face, "I'm sorry Bells, I'm not mad at you. Let's get you out of here. Would you like go bowling with me? Both our teams are there. You know Maria. She's there too."

I nodded and he dialed Emmett's cell number, "Hey Em, I'm getting Bella the hell out of here! You are outta your mind bringing her here." he walked me out of the party to the drivers side of his truck with his arms protectively around me. I could see Tyler trailing us to see if I was going to be left unattended out there. He ushered me in and locked the door before walking over to Tyler. I couldn't tell what Jasper said but it enraged Tyler.

"What about Maria? I thought you were with her!" Yelled Tyler.

Jasper said something I couldn't hear.

"Well, we'll just see about that!" Tyler screamed.

Jasper replied and Tyler backed away quickly. I thought about asking him what was said but I thought better of it because I could see he was struggling to stay calm.

"Have you had supper?" he asked me.

"No." I said hoping it wouldn't make him even angrier then he was.

"Pizza or burgers?" He asked.

"Burgers and shakes sounds great!" I said.

"Alright." He said.

We ran into our favorite little dinner and took a booth by the window and waited for our waitress. I fidgeted in my seat wondering why he was so mad at Emmett.

"Something's on your mind." He observed.

"Well, kinda but it's not a big deal." I tried to evade the inevitable question.

"What is it Bells." He asked and watched as I shook my head, then he asked me softly taking my hand. His eyes were so kind as they pleaded with me to talk to him,"You know can talk to me about anything, right?"

"I just see that you are still so mad and I want to let you calm down." I whispered, hoping he wouldn't push any further.

"Bells, are you afraid of me?" he asked dejectedly with a hurt look in his eyes.

"No, Jasper you have never givin' me a reason to be afraid of you! You're my best friend! I just… hate when you and Emmett are mad at each other." I said.

"It will be alright. I promise." He said.

"I just wondered why you were so mad at Em." I said

"Emmett gambling with your safety just pisses me off. If my little sister were still here I would bust my ass to take care of her. If I were the one watching out for you I would never put you in danger. Tyler, the guy that was stalking you to the truck, Bella he's dangerous." He said.

"I'm not his sister, Jasper. I'm his cousin he seems to always get stuck with me tagging along weather I want to or not. And I know to never leave with anyone and get my own drinks and to never ever, ever let my drink out of my sight" I started.

"It doesn't matter Bella. That guy drugged a friend of Maria's and then took advantage of her. He intimidated her so she didn't go to the police. He's a predator and your lucky you weren't his next victim. I don't go to those parties because of that Bella. When I heard that Emmett took you there, I was livid. That is the sole reason I was there was to get you outta there. Bella you're safety should come before anyone else having fun." He interrupted

The waitress came to take our order giving me a chance to think. After we ordered I was back in the hot seat.

"Next time you find your self in an uncomfortable situation like that promise me you'll call me." He insisted and when I hesitated answering him, "Bella!" he prompted sternly.

"Ok, I promise!" I said.

After that we just visited. It was an easy conversation between two friends and I felt comfortable. By the end of dinner Jasper and I realized that we both tolerated Emmett's rap because it was easier then listening to him whine, we hated the wild parties that Emmett loved but we often got roped into going because Emmett would pout and no one would have had any fun. Everything was Emmett's way or no way. Now it was time that the two of us teamed up and started doing stuff that we liked to do. On the way to the bowling alley Jasper popped in a CD that we had been discussing. We sat in comfortable silence all the way to there.

At the Bowling Alley we saw our friends and joined them. Maria greeted me warmly and then hugged Jasper, "We put you and Bella's names in." She handed him a can of coke and his shoes then turned to me and handed me my shoes and a can of Dr Pepper. We chatted happily until it was her turn. She ended up with a strike, and then it was Jasper's turn. He gutter balled the first and got 7 pins his next try. Everyone started heckling him. Then it was my turn. I got 2 pins on the left side. Maria met me at the ball return.

"Bella if you will follow through you will strike every time. You start off great but then you kinda let your wrist roll to the left. Shake hands with the middle." She coached.

"Thanks!" I said determined to put her advice to good use.

I lined up and let the ball go and executed a nice follow through and the ball struck the pins. I had gotten a spare. Maria cheered as I came to sit with her and Jasper. "That's my girl!" She said giving me a high five. Maria won that game and I did well too. After three games we were getting ready to go and Jasper's phone rang. It was Emmett and he was frantic. He hadn't received the voice mail and thought he had lost me.

"Jasper, I can't find Bella!" I could hear Emmett's panicked voice shouting into the receiver. Jasper let him go on and on about where he left me and how now that he returned I was gone. Jasper was livid. I had been "missing" for three hours and Emmett was just now noticing.

"Did you check your voice mail?" Jasper growled.

"What does that have to do with anything? Emmett growled exasperated, "I only left for a little while and I couldn't find her when I got back! Come help me find her."

"There's no need! I heard you took her to that party and so I went and got her three hours ago. Tyler was hassling her, Emmett and even tried to get me to let him take her home. Emmett, she has no business being there at those kinds of parties. Neither do you for that matter. If I ever hear of you dragging her to one of those again I will talk to Charlie! And Emmett. Stay there! I'm going to come drive you home. You're drunk. If you aren't waiting there in your car I will have a chat with your parents. I would hate for you to lose you car." Jasper threatened angrily.

It was a long ride to Jasper's house to pick up Maria. I was afraid of what Jasper was going to do to Emmett. I had never seen him this mad. Jasper kept flashing me a reassuring smile and telling me everything was all right that he was mad at Emmett not me. I knew that and I wasn't afraid of him but I was afraid for Emmett.

Maria dropped off her car at Jasper's house and slid into the middle of Jasper's truck. Jasper boiled on the way to get Emmett. He anger was almost tangible. I looked over and saw that his jaw was tense, he had a tight grip on the wheel, he was visibly shaking he was so pissed. I saw Maria running her hand over his. "Jasper, calm down." She whispered several times.

He finally took a deep calming breath and made eye contact with me from across the cab of the truck and asked, "Bella, where are you supposed to go tonight?"

"I am staying at my house tonight with Emmett. I can take care of him. Dad will be home around three in the morning from the station so it will be fine." I said trying to quell his anger.

"Bella, I'm going to stay with the two of you tonight if that's alright or we can all stay at my house." He said.

"You can stay if you want but you don't have to. I'll just put him in the guest room." I said angry with Emmett for causing all this fuss.

"Bella has this happened before?" Maria asked.

I nodded meekly.

"Did he drive home?" Jasper roared.

"I couldn't get him to give me his keys so I had to ride home with him." I squeaked uncomfortable with his harsh tone.

"Jasper!" Maria warned.

"Bella, I am pissed at Emmett, not at you! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you. Remember our talk earlier about your safety? This is what I was meaning. I want you to ride home with Maria. I need to talk to Emmett." Jasper said.

I nodded terrified at what Jasper was going to do, Maria put her arm around me and said, "It's gona be ok, Bella. JASPER is going to calm down before he talks to Emmett. Everything-is-fine! You don't need to worry!" She soothed, shooting a pointed look at Jasper. My nerves where shot and I could feel the emotions fighting to surface I fought to stuff them back down. Jasper took a deep breath and smiled. "Bella I promise everything's going to be fine!"

Maria and I drove slowly along behind Jasper and Emmett. I could see Jasper and Emmett gesturing wildly. I could tell that they were arguing. Maria distracted me as best she could. By the time we reached my house I had plans to go with Maria and Jasper to the Bluff's this coming weekend.

Maria parked Jasper's truck in his driveway and we crossed the street. Emmett had passed out on the way home and wouldn't wake up. Jasper sent us to get his dad. Carlisle took Emmett straight to the hospital. He told Jasper to take me to their house. Esme, is father's new girlfriend, was down since her son was staying with his father for the weekend. He was calling my dad and Emmett's parent's. My dad was on the phone with Esme when we walked into the house. He wanted to talk to Jasper. I finally reached breaking point and tears trickled down my face. Esme engulfed me in a hug. I was stressed and afraid for Emmett so I crumbled. Esme sat me down and held me rubbing-soothing circles on my back. I sat listening to Jasper recount the events of tonight as well as our talk and what he found out. What he told Charlie next astonished me.

"Mr. Swan, I am afraid Emmett's priorities are all screwed up. I don't think Bella is safe with him. I would be happy to look after her for you when you need me to. Just please don't leave her with Emmett anymore until he gets himself together! It's not safe. Maria and I are going to the Bluff's this weekend and we wanted to know if Bella can come with us." There was a long pause then Jasper said, "Yes! I'm sure! I like being around her. It sorta reminds me of what it would be like to get hang out with Bree." He finished and thanked my dad. He came to sit on the coffee table in front of me. "It's gonna be fine, Bells." He said pulling me into a hug. "I need to drive Maria home. Why don't you come with us?" breaking the hug and pulling me off the couch. With that I had a new protector! And what a fierce protector he was.

Emmett had alcohol poisoning and had to have his stomach pumped. He had to stay overnight in the hospital. The district attorney also filedcharges for under aged drinking. He received community service and had to pay a fine. Dad was pissed at him, so was Jasper, and his parents. I was just sad. I wasn't allowed to go anywhere with him anymore. I was able to go see him in the hospital. When I walked in he looked so sad. Everyone was angry with him.

'Bella, I'm so sorry!" He said softly. I walked over and perched on the edge of his bed and threw my arms around him.

"It's ok Em." I said.

"No it's not. I lost you at some stupid party. When I think of what could have happened to you. It scares me Bell's. I messed up." he said.

"I am fine Em. I'm not mad at you. I am sad that we won't get to spend as much time together but I'm not mad at you."

"Yeah, I heard about that. Jasper's your chaperone from now on, huh. Mom told me about that. Uncle Charlie's really pissed! Who brought you to see me?" He said.

" Maria. Jasper refused. He's not happy about Maria bringing me but Esme got the ok from dad so he didn't get a vote." I said sadly.

"When I get home I won't be able to go anywhere other that school and straight home. Mom has arranged for Jasper to drive me. Is he driving you too?" He asked hopefully.

"He will be driving me to school but I have softball practice after so Maria is going to drive me home since she's on the team too." I said. "But I can still come see you unless Aunt Carmen has grounded you from having visitors. When do you get your car back?" I asked.

"Mom's talking about selling it." He said sadly.

It took Jasper and Emmett six months to become friends again. There were more then a few awkward rides home for Emmett. The second week I rode with them it seemed to get easier because I was there to buffer between them. Finally it took me coming unglued and yelling and both Jasper and Emmett. Emmett was still mad at Jasper for ratting him out and Jasper was still angry with Emmett for acting so stupid. I finally had enough of their bickering and yelled "STOP IT! I swear I'm going to see if Maria will start giving me a ride to school or taking the bus! Just stop! Emmett, Jasper saved your life by calling his dad. Dr Whitlock was the one told everyone what Jasper told him. Jasper filled in the blanks for dad because dad asked him straight out. Get over it! And Jasper, Emmett knows he screwed up. He's paying for it. He doesn't need you to remind him. He feels bad enough. You know I am safe now. Please, can we just get back to being friends?" I finished softer then when I started.

The weekend before my sophomore year in high school started Jasper broke up with Maria. I was so pissed at him. There was never an explanation given that evening and I asked repeatedly. He had insisted I go to the movies with them that night then he kept me in between them all night long. After the movie he took us to eat pizza. He chose a round booth and again sat me between them. After that he dropped her off and when he walked her to her door I saw him say something and then her go in to the house crying. I was so mad. She never told me what he said and out of respect for her privacy I never asked. We kind of drifted apart after that. We were still friends but something had changed between us.

When school started a mutual friend told me Maria said that Jasper used me to push her away. In a way looking back I could see that I just didn't have a clue as to why. She said didn't blame me but she thought that Jasper was in love with me. I tried to talk to her and tell her that Jasper wasn't in love with me. She told me that she knew neither of us realized that he was in love with me but that she believed that he started falling in love with me when Emmett put me in such danger. She also said that while she was my friend she just needed some time and space to get herself together. The whole school thought Jasper and I where dating and there were a lot of people pissed at us. Jasper and I hung out more now then ever because with everyone angry with us we had no one else to turn to but each other. This was the case until I sifted through the frogs and I thought I found my prince.

My schedule was so screwed up! I had English, algebra, biology I, chemistry, reading, study hall and biology II because that was the only other class I could hake besides home economics and I despised the home economics teacher so biology II it was. Plus Emmett and Jasper were in it so we could all hang out together. James was in my biology II class as well. He was Emmett and Jaspers age and I was head over heels in love. Mr. Banner became my favorite teacher the day the assigned lab partners and James was mine, much to Emmett and Jasper's dismay. I was pleased and surprised by the fact that James seemed pleased with the arrangement as well. James was charming and we got along wonderfully. He flirted with me shamelessly for months. During nine weeks tests we finished early and had an hour to really talk and he finally ask me out.

Emmett and Jasper threw a fit when dad agreed to let James drive instead of asking one of them to drive. I sat on the stairs and fumed listening to them arguing with my dad.

"I don't like it! What if..." Jasper started.

"I've met him. Jasper, you remember when he came over you sat on your porch until he left and then sprinted over to see what I thought of him. As I recall I have already heard your arguments against him. He's a nice guy!" dad said.

"But…" Emmett started.

"You two need to quit being so over protective of Bella. I swear you would think she was your daughter! Geez! You're going to have to accept that she isn't a little girl anymore." I grinned when I heard dad's next words. "Guys! I don't want to hear of you all interfering with Bella and James! Is that clear!"

"Yes sir!" They both sighed.

Our first date was to dinner and a movie. We got to the small dinner and were seated. I sighed when I saw Emmett and Jasper sitting glumly in our regular booth. James followed my gaze and gave me a sympathetic smile.

"They are protective aren't they?" he asked.

"You have no idea." I replied.

"Well, I had heard about the whole deal with Jasper last summer. He seems more protective then Emmett. When he and Maria broke up everyone thought it was because of you. I was afraid you two were together at the beginning of school. If I had known that you where available, I would have asked you out sooner." He grinned.

"So everyone thinks we are together?" I asked incredulous.

"Well, not now. There are a few speculating on weather I stole you away for him. By the way he's acting there are quite a few people inclined to believe that story." He said.

"Oh great! Something else for everyone to gossip about." I said sarcastically.

He laughed, "Gotta love livin' in a small town!"

"Yeah, I guess! If I forget what I'm doing all I have to do is ask someone and they can remind me." I said with a wistful sigh. I cast another glance and Emmett and Jasper who were blatantly staring at us and sighed.

"How about next weekend we do something and include them too. Maybe that will smooth their ruffled feathers." He asked.

"Yeah, I'm not sure that's a good idea. They threw a huge fit when you were assigned as my lab partner. When you asked me out Jasper beat me home and was telling my dad you were not someone that I would be safe with." I said doubtfully, "They threw a major fit when dad decided to let you drive us. They were lobbying hard to chaperone our date."

"That explains a lot of the conversation I had with your dad." He chuckled, "He asks me all sorts of questions about if I partied and did drugs nine million different ways. I think he was trying to trip me up. I would hate to be in an interrogation room with him." He grinned.

"Sorry about that!" I said.

"Oh, its ok! Your dad is great!" he said, "And although it is annoying to see them glaring over at me wishing looks could kill me right now you have to know that they care about you. They aren't sure about me yet. I see it's killing them not to be near you when they aren't sure you are safe." With that James picked up his drink and grabbed my hand, "Let's go sit with them!"

I glared daggers at them over pizza that James sprung for. I was so kicking their Asses later. As we ate James made quite an effort to be social and the two buffoons across the table were barely civil. Jasper was silent as he sulked. Emmett knew that he had better try to be nice so he started talking about a party that he had heard about. I think he was trying to dig up incriminating evidence on James so he could snitch to dad. I visited only with James and refused to make eye contact with either Emmett or Jasper. I was tempted to call dad but I wasn't about to leave them alone with James. So I sat and fumed. After dinner we headed to the movies and James chuckled. "It seems we are being followed!"

"Ugg! I otta call dad and have them arrested!" I fumed.

"Bella, I don't think they can arrest someone for being annoying!" he laughed, "Why not invite them to sit with us through the movie? I'll even buy the popcorn!" he offered.

"If I had wanted to bring them on our date I would have invited them. It's bad enough that we sat with them through dinner." I muttered under my breath and then said, "If that's what you want."

So we parked and walked over to Jasper's truck and waited till they got out.

"We were just wondering if you would like to sit with us through the movie." I growled, "It's far easier to eavesdrop if you are with us!"

"I uh… We aren't going to see that movie." Emmett said as he and Jasper got back in the truck.

"Wow! For such a tiny little thing you are very intimidating." He laughed, "And I know were you get it. Kitten's got some claws."

"They make me so made sometimes. Don't get me wrong I am grateful that they are protective sometimes but then others I would just like to knock their heads together." I said.

"I understand that." He said draping an arm around my shoulders and leading me to the theater. "So what do you want to see? I hear the romantic comedy in alright I forget the name of it though."

"Ah…actually I'm not that girl who likes all that sappy mushy-mushy crap!" I said.

"Great! Action it is then." He grinned looking relieved.

As we got our popcorn someone walked up behind me and said, "Well, well, well, look who's out with out her body guards?" my blood ran cold as I recognized the voice. It was Tyler.

"Back off Crawly she's with me! That makes her off limits to you!" James said cheerfully. He and Tyler visited as we waited in line. I wanted to get away from him so bad. I was relieved when we got our popcorn and sodas and entering the theater. Tyler and his friends sat behind us. James seeing my discomfort moved us forward a couple rows. When the movie started the group started pelting us with popcorn. The movie was good but I was so wary of Tyler and his group of thugs that I really couldn't enjoy myself.

On the way home James looked over and smiled knowingly, "This was an awful first date huh?"

"Well it would have been better if it had just been the two of us. At dinner it was Emmett and Jasper and then at the movies it was Tyler and his friends. That guy just creeps me out." I said.

"How about we call a do over?" He asked.

"I would like that." I said.

"The party that Emmett was talking about this weekend will keep Tyler busy and I'm sure we can handle Emmett and Jasper." He said.

"I think I can come up with something to keep Emmett and Jasper busy." I said thinking about asking for dad's help.

"Bella, if you get them in trouble over tonight it will just make things worse." He said.

"I know!" I said.

James and I dated until a couple days before school ended for the summer. He had tried to get me to sleep with him but as naïve as I was I wasn't ready for that. It wasn't long after that that he broke up with me for a girl named Lauren it seemed he had found a girlfriend that would sleep with him. So my Knight in Shining Armor turned out to just as idiot in tin foil. I was hurt. Emmett and Jasper hated James and celebrated the day James and I broke up. I began to wonder if there was a prince charming out there.

Over the Summer Jasper's dad had finally married Esme. She and her son had moved in with Carlisle and Jasper. He son Edward was depressed and moody and sulked in his room. Since he and Jasper now shared a room Jasper escaped him by coming over to my house. He invited him to come with him several times but he never would. I used to see someone staring out the window with the hood of his sweatshirt pulled up. Jasper said he did that all day long.

I finally did find my prince charming my Jr. year of high school. It was the day Emmett got his car back and I had been given permission to ride to the Bluff's with Emmett. He picked me up in his Sporty Electric Blue Dodge Viper and we raced down the back roads to The Bluff's the place were we "cool" teenagers hung out. I made my way over to Jasper's truck with the ice chests but was distracted when I saw someone sitting dejectedly on the tailgate. My curiosity about the incredibly hot guy sitting there over took my thirst. I thought to myself, 'There's my Prince!'

"He's having a pity party. He just moved here and isn't interested in making new friends. He just wants wallow in self pity. Don't bother! He's being a loser." Rosalie said forming an L on her forehead with her hand when she saw me heading for him.

"Well, too bad! He's going to make a new friend weather he wants to or not!" I countered as I continued undeterred.

"Ok, fine! Go be a loser too." She rolled her eyes and giggled then waved as she walked off with Emmett to take her turn on the Bluff's main attraction. Someone had put up a rope that we swung out and dropped seven feet into the deep end of a ten ft deep pool of crystal clear water and then climbed up the tree roots back onto the cliff. Usually I was the biggest fan but I was determined to find out more about the guy brooding on the tailgate of that truck. As I walked up to him, he looked up at me then quickly dropped his gaze in an attempt to signal me to go away. So I leaned over the tailgate and started rummaging through the nearest ice chest deliberately taking my time. I could almost feel the annoyance rolling in waves off of him. It was obvious that he just wanted me to go away but I climbed up on the tailgate and began fishing in the next chest deliberately taking my time.

Finally I heard him mutter, "What are you looking for?"

"Hum?" I innocently asked as if I hadn't heard him.

"I said, WHAT," he started to shout but stopped and sighed then said in a regular tone "What are you looking for?" he asked with a resigned sigh.

"Oh, I was looking for a can of Dr Pepper." I said plopping down beside him. "I heard someone say that you're new here. I'm Bella and you are?" I prompted.

"Not in the mood for a chat." He said coolly.

"Well in that case, I suggest you tell me about yourself so I can be bored and walk away." I said hoping my prying would have the desired effect.

"Is there any chance you will just go away!" he said exasperated.

"Nope." I said settling comfortably on the tailgate.

I saw Emmett and Jasper exchange a look and laugh. Jasper shook his head as he and Emmett made their way over to the truck.

"Hey Bells! Edward, this is Bella and Emmett." Jasper said then turned to me, "Go easy on him, Bells he just moved here. Esme's his mom. He's not thrilled about the move." Jasper concluded.

"Really, I couldn't tell. He hides it so well." I said sarcastically out of the corner of my eye I saw Edward grin for the first time since I had been sitting there.

"You really are stubborn you know that?" Edward asked me as Jasper and Emmett burst into a fit of laughter.

Emmett snorted, "Oh man! You have no idea."

"Emmett, I'm not that bad!" I growled.

"Oh, No, Who was it that argued for three hours about song lyrics and then called in to the radio station to ask who was right? You're like a pit bull with a bone! You don't let go!" Jasper chuckled.

"Who was right and who was wrong?" I goaded.

"I don't believe I like your tone." Jasper evaded my question sheepishly.

"I'm gonna say Jasper was wrong." Edward chuckled.

"Oh yeah! You should have seen him. He was mad as hell! All because he got shown up by a girl on a radio station!" I giggled.

"I'll have you know I was humiliated. Maria was pissed at me." Jasper glowered at me.

"Well, may I suggest you learn the words to the song you that you tell someone that it's your song!" I quipped as Jasper glowered at me.

"I take it she's going to be a lawyer too." Edward said to Emmett.

"Nope. She's just a woman! There is no way to win an argument with her but Jaz always tries. He gets so pissed at her. It's hilarious to watch!" Emmett informed him.

"Jaz when are you going to learn there are only two ways to argue with a woman, neither of which work!" Rosalie said as she came to stand beside Emmett. We all started laughing at that. Edward and I became a couple later that evening.

When school started we had a few classes together. We studied together after school. We hung out together to the point, Jasper and Emmett sometimes complained about being left out. Jasper and Emmett were a pain but not as bad as they were when I was with James. They still crashed our dates regularly. Edward and I would always sneak off to the Bluff's. There was a massive Weeping Willow that had thick foliage that reached the ground. We often hid there from them. It became our regular spot. Jasper and Emmett never discovered it.

The year Jasper and Emmett graduated was a carefree summer until August. Emmett and Jasper left for college. Emmett was Business Major and Jasper was Pre-Law. We missed them but we were now able to go on dates that weren't crashed and turned into a group outing. Emmett came home for the summer before our senior year. Jasper took a full load of summer classes. He was eager to get into law school. He did call home a lot. We teased him mercilessly about being a book nerd. Emmett and Rosalie got engaged just before they went back to school. We where all so excited for them. Jasper came home on Christmas break. We all got together but something was off with him. Jasper seemed different. He seemed to avoid Edward and I. Edward said it was normal at home so it must have been just a bad mood.

The next several days he still avoided me and I had finally had enough. I knew Jasper well enough to know something was bothering him and I was going to find out what. So I cornered him the evening before he left. I saw my opportunity when we were leaving Emmett's house. Edward had gotten the flu and had stayed home and so I had caught a ride to Emmett's with Rosalie. I figured if my plan didn't work it was only a half a mile to walk home.

I waited till Rosalie left and asked Jasper for a ride when he was getting ready to leave he agreed to give me a ride home. We walked silently out to his truck.

"Hey, Jaz?" I ask opening the door.

"Huh?" he replied.

"You have been upset all week long. You have been friendly with everyone but me. Did I do something to upset you?" I asked.

"No Bella, It's just me." He said softly reaching over to give me a one armed hug.

"You are avoiding me though." I said sadly.

"Because you see to much. You can read me like no one else can. I was trying to hide it. I just miss home. I'm sorry!" he lied.

I knew he was lying but I let it go. One look into my eyes and he knew that I knew. He sighed.

I sighed and said, "I'll let it go. Just please don't avoid me. Jasper, you are still one of my best friends. Now it seems like you don't want to be around me."

He smiled and said, "Next time I come home I will make sure I don't avoid you. Ok?"

"Ok." I said still had my doubts but I hid them. I still wondered what was up with him. The next day he left early without saying good-bye to anyone. Leaving a note saying he has to get back and hit the books. I did find a note addressed to me in my car and once I read it my anger was gone. Jasper was so sad and I just wanted to help him but he wouldn't let me.

Bella,

I know you are pissed at me for leaving like I did. I know you didn't buy me missing home as to why I have been upset. I hated leaving like that but I knew I couldn't face the disappointed look in your eyes for me not telling you what was wrong and what if you called attention to the fact that something was wrong. I really could not face the look of hurt and disgust on everyone's faces if they knew. This is my problem and I will deal with it. Just please don't hate me! I am sorry if I made you feel like we aren't still friends. You have always been my best friends it's just right now I don't feel very good about myself. I'm sorry Bells.

Jaz

Jasper POV

As I was driving back to school thinking of her, my phone rang and I knew who it was before I even looked at it. I knew I was about to lose a friend. I rejected the call hating what I was doing, knowing I deserved the scathing voice mail that Bella might leave. I thought back on the break. It went fairly well in the beginning. It was nice to see everyone. I started seeing Bella differently though. She had grown out of that wobbly knees and elbows phase and she was beautiful. Edward kept Bella by his side tucked securely in his arms. She would lay her head on his shoulder and would press a sweet kiss to the side of his neck and he would lovingly kiss her temple. I don't know why but it bothered me. At first I chalked it up to me being protective but then I found myself I wanting to be by her side. I wanted to be the one to run my fingertips up and down her arm and be rewarded with a loving gaze. I had avoided Bella after that but Bella being Bella and knowing me as well as she does. She noticed something was wrong. I managed to avoid her all break until the last night. I stayed at Emmett's too long. Just knowing I was in the same room as her was enough to keep me there. Part of me stayed hoping that she would ask for a ride. I hadn't thought of the fact that I would have to face her once she got in my truck. I had no right to want her but I did and I tried hard to fight it!

I heard the voice mail chime go off on my phone so I picked it up and listened to Bella's voice say, "Jasper- I am confused. It's like I chased you away from your family and I feel terrible! You said that what ever you where upset about was you problem and that you were afraid everyone would be hurt or disgusted with you. I am scared for you. If you're in trouble Jaz please let someone help you!" She sniffled I felt like someone punched me in the gut. I had made her cry. She continued in a tight voice, "I just wanted you to know 2 things. 1- I will always be here if you need to me and 2-I could never hate you, Jaz! You are one of my best friends in the world and I am worried about you! Please, call me back! I need to know that you're ok! I won't hassle you by calling you a million times like I want to but I will be waiting for you to call. Talk to ya later Jaz, bye."

How could I not call her back but then again how could I? What would I say to her? What was there to say? What if I told her how I felt and she didn't feel the same way? What if I told her and she did? What then? If she picked him over me I would be devastated. If she chose me over Edward then there would be problems. I was so conflicted! There is no way Bella can ever know how I feel. I just needed to get over it. I just don't know how to begin to get over her. I felt like I had lost her!

Edwards POV

We didn't hear from Jasper until May. He called mom to let her know he was coming home for the summer. We were all happy but I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know what was wrong but there was something. Bella was still worried about him although she never said so. I was glad we had graduation plans to keep us busy. Bella started avoiding my house when Jasper came home. We started going to our old hangout at the Bluffs. We weren't alone though the Bluff's was still as popular a place as ever. We watched people swinging into the water and reminisced about he day we met. When we were alone I hopped off the tailgate and asked Bella, "Come for a walk with me." She followed me under our giant Weeping Willow. I turned to face me and got down on one knee. "Will you marry me, Bella?" I asked my voice cracking with excitement. She opened her mouth but no sound came out. I saw the tears well in her eyes and was terrified. My entire future hung on what that tear meant? Was she about to break my heart? Was it a happy tear? I was frozen in fear. I stood to my feet my eyes locked on hers and then I felt the sweet relief when she nodded her head more tears flowing down her cheeks.

She finally cleared her throat and said the most beautiful words I had ever heard, "Yes! Edward, I would love to marry you!" as I slid the engagement ring on the left hand. She melted into my chest and I folded my arms around her. We stood under the tree just holding each other until it started to get dark. Finally Bella realized what time it was and we flew into town.

Esme met us at the door. "You are late," she scolded gently.

"Sorry mom!" I said holding up Bella and my joined hands showing her the engagement ring.

"Oh my god! Congratulations!" she said dragging us in to the dinning room. "Tell everyone! Come on! Oh let me! They're engaged!" Esme beamed. Everyone was happy.

We ate dinner and during dessert and mom had news of her own. She was pregnant. She and Carlisle were pleasantly surprised. Everyone had a great time all but one. I noticed Jasper was quiet at dinner. When he congratulated Mom and dad smiling genuinely happy, then Bella and I his smile never quite reached his eyes seeming like he was in pain. I wasn't the only one who noticed. Bella ask to leave as soon as she helped mom and Rosalie clean up. Mom had noticed too. I took Bella to a movie after dinner.

After the movie on our way home I mentioned Jaspers strange behavior.

"I just don't get it. We used to be such good friends. I see that he's still friends with Emmett and Rosalie. I don't know what I did to upset him." she said sadly, "He doesn't think I'm good enough for you that's the only explanation!"

"I doubt that!" I said as she slipped out of my car. "Good night!" I called after her. Then I pulled in across the street and stalked in the house with the intent on cornering my brother and after beating the hell out of him making him tell me what was wrong. I couldn't take Bella being upset because he wanted to be an ass.

When I got home I cornered Jasper. He was in our room working on his laptop. I strode across the room shutting the door behind me.

"What's going on with you?" I fumed, fighting to keep my anger at bay, "Something has been wrong for quit awhile. Bella is convinced it has something to do with you not wanting me to marry her. I don't care what the hell it is! Whatever this is it's hurting her. You are friendly with everyone but her. Whatever she did it can't be worth all this shit."

"Edward, I'm sorry! My mood has nothing to do with Bella. Well kind of, but it's nothing she did. Emmett and I always protected her. We never thought anyone was good enough for her. I guess I'm just having a hard time with the fact she's grown up now and doesn't need my protection, least of all from you." He said hanging his head, "I guess need to talk to Bella now."

"Yes, you do!" I said handing him his jacket.

JASPER'S POV

I shrugged on my jacket and I headed across the street. I really didn't trust myself to go talk to her. She was so perceptive and I was afraid that she would see right through me. Never the less I was hurting her and that was unacceptable. I rehearsed what I would say on the way out my door. I saw her sitting on her porch swing reading a book. I smiled to myself thinking of all the times I had teased her calling her bookworm. She looked up at my when I stepped on her porch.

"Hi." She said in a low sad voice.

"Hey." Was my brilliant response as I sat on the end of the swing, "So it turns out I'm an ass." I said attempting to make her smile.

"Jasper? I just don't know what I did to upset you." She said setting aside her book and tucking her feet under her. I could see the hurt in her eyes and it killed me to know that I put it there. I looked away, straight ahead.

"Bella, I … Well, Ah… You know how Emmett and I always protected you and never thought anyone was good enough for you?" I could see her nodding out of the corner of my eye, "I guess I'm just having trouble stepping out of that role." I said avoiding her eyes, "I'm sorry. I have been such an ass. Please forgive me and be patient with me while I come to terms with the fact you are grown up." I finished my partial truth.

I felt her shift on the swing. "There's nothing to forgive, as long as I get my friend back. I've missed you!" she said leaning into my side giving me a hug. I hugged her back and then she said, "So, we have some catching up to do.'

We visited but I was still conflicted. After an hour Edward came over and sat on one of the two wicker chairs and the conversation turned to our younger days. It was comfortable talking about the past. I was able to get lost in the stories.

"Well," I said standing up to go, " I'm gonna head home!"

"Hey, Jasper! I wanted to ask you something!" Edward called stopping me in my tracks.

I knew what the question was. I couldn't say no although I would rather take a beating then to say yes. Please don't ask this of me Edward. I thought to myself but as I turned around he did and it was like a knife in the gut, "You are my brother and I can think of no one else I would rather have with me than you. Would you be my best man? If it weren't for you, I would probably never have ended up with My Bella!" Edward asked.

"Of course, Edward! As long as I'm not in class, I will." I smiled hoping that 1 my smile looked genuine and 2 that I would be in school.

"Great! Bella and I haven't talked about a date but you have the summer off so, Babe, I was thinking, why not get married over the summer. That way Jasper can be there." Edward said.

Drat! He had thought of every thing.

"That sounds great! How about the 4th of July? We always have a big BBQ anyway and all the family will already be gathered and there will already be a party planned. What do you think?" Bella asked.

"That sounds great. Good night!" I said hoping I sounded happy, as I quickly walked away.

I walked in the door and my mother was waiting for me. She put her arm around my shoulder a led me out to the garden where she always took us to talk when Edward or I was upset.

"I think I know what's going on with you but I have been waiting for you to come to me. I tried to be patient but I can't take watching you punish yourself any longer." She said, "You're in love with Bella." I froze at her last statement.

"I hate it mom! I have no right to want what I do but I can't stop myself from wanting her. I'm in love with her. I have tried to just stay away but that just hurt her. She's going to be my sister-in-law! What's wrong with me? I keep asking myself what if she was supposed to be my soul mate? How do I smile and pretend that I'm happy when I know I won't ever love and one as much as I love her? Part of me wants to tell her and try to win her heart but a bigger part of me loves my brother enough I could never do that to him." I whispered to ashamed to even meet my mom's eyes.

"Jasper, there is nothing wrong with you! You have been in love with her for years. You are just now realizing that you are in love with her. Your father watched you two for years knowing you were in love with each other. You were the reason she and James broke up. She constantly compared him to you and he could never quite measure up. Then you talked Emmett in to hating him and you two ran him off. You always ran all of Bella's would-be boyfriends off until Edward. I think, you thought of Edward as just a placeholder. I almost talked to you about it and warned Edward that you loved her but Carlisle told me not to interfere. I am happy for Edward and Bella but I know this is hard for you and my heart is breaking for you." She said tears welling in her eyes as she hugged me tight.

"They set a date tonight." I croaked miserably. "They are getting married of the 4th of July and Edward has asked my to be the Best Man."

"Oh, Jaz!" She whispered, " You know you don't have to."

"I do have to do this. It will make them happy. I can get through this but I'm going back to college before they get back from their honeymoon. I have to make up some excuse why I have to leave early and I am going to try to start thinking of her as if she were Bree." I croaked, "Bella and Edward deserve to be happy."

Esme pulled me into a hug and said lovingly, "You deserve to be happy too."


	2. Chapter 2

First and for most I wasn't to say Thank you to the ones who reviewed! I had you enjoyed Jasper and Esme's talk! Thank you to all of you who favorite my story! It really means a lot.

Ok to make this story go like I wanted to I changed Carlisle's last name to Whitlock. Enjoy! I even included some lemony goodness (The first one I have ever written!). Enjoy! This Chapter covers a year! I really hope you all enjoy!

Planning my happily ever after

Bella POV 

Esme and I started planning the wedding. Rosalie was quick to lend a hand. She and Emmett's wedding was a year away and she had already planned most of it. She gave us access to her planning book.

"All of this is doable!" Esme told me, "Today is cake day! We are going to focus on picking the wedding cake today. The flowers and decorations are tomorrow's chore and next week will be music and the bridesmaid dresses. The tux fittings are this Friday and in two weeks we have an appointment to pick out the wedding dress. We already had the boathouse rented. Everything is falling together flawlessly!" She was so calm! I was stressing the wedding was a month away. Between planning the wedding and doctor's appointments she had no spare time and was calm.

Esme, Edward and I walked in to the bakery and saw a table full of mini cupcakes along with a wedding cake catalog. The Shop owner greeted Esme with a hug, "I'm so happy for you and your family. I was thrilled to know I was going to get to do another cake and catering job for you." Then turning to Edward and me, "You must be Edward and Bella! I'm Angela! It's so good to meet you, Bella and Edward it's great to see you again." then added with a wry smile, "You look happier this time. The last time I saw you, you were sulking at your mom and Carlisle's wedding."

"I was a pain that day with all of my moody pouting." Edward grinned.

Then Angela motioned to a small round table and said, "Please have a seat. I have made everything I make into mini cupcakes for you to sample and see what you like best. Then we can look at the catalog and see what your cake will look like." She brought over the first tray and sat it on the table' "This is just a standard white cake." She said passing each of us a cupcake. We tested that sample and it was good but it wasn't what we were looking for. Angela brought out tray after tray of cake samples. We tasted so many cakes. Edward loved the Red Velvet cake and we quickly decided that the groom's cake would be Red Velvet with cream cheese whipped icing. Edward was getting bored after the first hour and was trying to get away from the wedding planning. He kept saying they were good and making off the wall suggestions to annoy his mother. He wasn't pleased about having to come taste cakes in the first place but he was good at first but as with most overgrown "Little Boys" he was bent on being a pain in the ass now, to get thrown out! Edward finally did it when he said, "Hey, I know! We can get a blue Raspberry cake with Strawberry icing with white sprinkles! Red, white and blue! What do you think babe? " From there Esme lost it! "Edward Cullen! I will not have sprinkles on your wedding cake! I have you know it is taking every ounce of patience not to drag you out of this shop right now by the hair of your head!" Esme said and with that he was booted. He gleefully pranced away calling Jasper to come rescue him. I was so going to kick his ass. We finally settled on a Tropical Caribbean cake for the wedding cake. It is a Classic European cake is moist citrus poppy seed flavored cake that is accented with juice and zest and is complemented by a rich lemon Bavarian cream. The style Esme and I chose was a three-tier simple white icing with white lacey embellishments overlaying it with red and white roses cascading down the side and spilling across the table. It was gorgeous.

Jasper came in the shop and handed me my cellphone Edward had carried in his pocket. I handed him the extra sample of what the wedding cake would be.

"Esme what if we added daisies in with the roses? They have always been my favorite." I suggested.

"That sounds like a good idea." Jasper said.

"Why would we do that, Bella? They are so _plain_!" she said glaring at Jasper while shooting down my input.

Esme chose red and white roses for the wedding decorum and bouquets. I protested a few times that things were getting too elaborate but Esme talked me into letting her go ahead with her plans. She was having an arch constructed an entire arch out of long stem roses. The boathouse would be covered in roses. She chose a small wedding orchestra for the music and Rosalie had some input on her dress and it was a stunning red strapless dress that she could use again after the wedding.

Finally it was Dress Day. We walked into the dress shop and were greeted by an older gentleman.

"Hello Esme!" He said.

"Hello Ashton! This is Bella. Did you get the sketches I sent over." Esme asked.

"Yes. I think I have just what you are looking for," said Ashton.

Esme and I had two very different opinions on the dress. I would have loved a simple sundress but Esme wanted a fancy elaborate dress. She begged me to let her do this "for" me. I had let her talk me in to an elaborate wedding so far so I relented and slipped into every satin gown that Esme thought would be perfect. I tried on half a dozen dresses before she said, "That's it! You look amazing!" It was pretty but it was not me. It was a strapless dress with a full hoop skirt thing and a long train. I kept my focus on the fact that the day after the wedding I would be lying on a beach in Florida soaking up the sun. If I could make it through this event Esme was planning I was home free. I kept reminding myself to smile and breathe. With the wedding 2 weeks away and everything planned to the letter there was nothing to do but relax.

Jasper's POV (Starts on June 20th)

I heard a knock at the bedroom door and dad told me that mom had gone into labor so he was taking her to the hospital. It was too early, wasn't it? She wasn't due for another month. Thoughts of Bella's mother ran screaming through my mind. Bella had come too early too and her mom died. I was never told many of the details other than Bella had come too early and Renée had died. I kept my thoughts to myself there was no need to worry Edward or dredge up the past for Bella. Edward called Bella we threw on clothes and were just walking out the door when Bella was about to step on to the porch! We jumped into my truck and drove to the hospital. Mom and dad were in a room already so we sat in the waiting room waiting for the news about mom and our baby sister, Miss Alice Marie Whitlock. Dad finally popped his head out of the room to tell us that they were going to do an emergency caesarian because mom's blood pressure was too high. Then the nurses wheeled mom's bed out of the room and off to the OR and dad went too. Finally they wheeled her back to the room. Dad followed stopping at the door.

"The delivery went ok. Esme and Baby Alice will be fine. They had to do a hysterectomy to stop Esme's bleeding. She's lost a lot of blood. We need to let her rest. The nurses are keeping Alice in the nursery. Why don't you go meet your sister? I'm going to stay with Esme."

We walked in to the nursery and the nurse laid a sweet little pink bundle in my arms and instantly I was wrapped around her tiny little finger. There was nothing I wouldn't do for her. She looked up at on with her big, brown eyes and melted my heart! I was entranced with her. I could have stared at her for hours.

Bella giggled, "She's already got you so wrapped around her finger!"

"She does!" I grinned sinking into the worn rocking chair and started rocking. Bella sat on a stool beside me humming softly to the little princess that was sleeping in my arms. Edward hung over my shoulder gazing at her.

We stayed like that for 20 minutes and then Alice began to cry. The nurse handed me a bottle and Alice instantly settled down and took it. Edward and Bella took my truck back home and promised to bring it back later. Alice woke every two hours to eat and be changed. By the morning I was feeling confident enough I didn't call the nurse any more to help me feed or change her. I had good incentive to learn quickly the nurse would shamelessly flirt with me. I think that's why she let me stay. After the last feeding Alice was alert for a while so I carried her to the window and sat in the windowsill with her and watched the sunrise. Alice had fallen asleep again and had snuggled into my chest. I didn't realize I was being watched. Dad had come to take Alice to mom.

"Did you stay all night?" he asked softly.

"Yeah! I just couldn't tear myself away." I grinned.

"Esme's awake. You know you'll have to give her up now, right?" he chuckled.

"I know. I just couldn't leave her here alone in the nursery." I grinned as I gently laid Alice in the bassinet so we could take her to mom.

It was a short walk to mom's room and when dad entered her eyes were trained on the sleeping baby girl. Dad said, "Look who I found." motioning to me.

"You're here early!" She said pulling me in for a hug.

"He spent the night taking care of Alice." Dad said.

"Oh Jaz! You didn't have to!" she exclaimed.

"I know but she gripped my finger in her tiny little hand and I couldn't tear myself away." I said.

"I think she will be getting her way no matter what with Jaz." Dad chuckled.

I sat with Esme while dad went to get breakfast.

"Something's wrong! You're too quiet!" Esme commented.

"I'm just tired mom." I said.

"You know you can't lie to me Jaz." She prodded.

I grinned, "I was just worried about you. I'm glad you're ok."

"Yes Honey! You're always so thoughtful!" she sighed, "How did I end up so lucky to have you as my son?"

"I'm not that great, mom." I smiled as I hugged her.

Mom had dozed off and Alice started fussing so I lifted out of her bassinet laid her on my chest rubbing slow soothing circles on her back. She calmed down immediately. I stepped in to the hall and ask one of the nurses for a bottle and went back in to change her diaper. By the time I got her clean and dry the nurse came in with her bottle. She groggily sucked down her bottle then we gazed at each other until I lost track of time. Dad chuckled as he came in, "You need to go home and rest. Take my car home!"

I handed Alice off to Carlisle and gently loosened her tiny grasp on my shirt and headed home for a nap.

The drive home was oddly quiet. I didn't really feel like listening to the radio. When I walked into the house I could hear Edward and Bella in the bedroom and felt like I had been kicked in the gut, I gasped for breath but was having a hard time getting air. I quickly grabbed my keys and made my way to my truck. I couldn't be in the house knowing what they were doing. I wanted to interrupt them but I knew I was being unreasonable. She wasn't nor had she ever been my girl. I waited too long and now it was too late. I felt like I was going to throw-up thinking about the whole situation. I started my truck and drove out to a small farm that had been vacant for years. I loved this place. Today the owner was here.

"Can I help you?" the old man asked me.

"I just like to come here sometimes and wish it was mine." I said wistfully.

"It's for sale." The owner said hopefully.

"Yeah, I know. I could afford to buy it but there's no way I could manage the up keep up it right now. I'm going to college and I'm not in town regularly." I said. I had been secretly putting money since I was 16 praying that this place was still available when I got ready to buy it. I also noticed that there were large deposits being made into my account by a Victoria Whitlock. I had put every penny I earned, save $15 a week that I allowed myself to play on, in to a savings account.

"Well, I have a couple horses on the place now. If you will buy it and allow me to keep my horses here I would gladly take care of it for you," said the elderly farmer.

"It does sound good. Can I look around?" I asked knowing that by the end of the day I would be a landowner.

"Absolutely. By the way I'm Harry Clearwater!" he said holding out a age laden hand for me to shake.

"I'm Jasper Whitlock sir." I said shaking his hand.

"You're Dr. Whitlock's boy." He said.

"Yes sir." I answered.

"Well come on then. Let's have a look around. We'll go see about the house first and then we will pull the saddles out of the barn and we'll ride out the place." He said fumbling with his keys as we walked up to the house the outside needed a fresh coat of paint and the tin roof was rusted yet intact. I was surprised that the house was in pretty good shape on the inside. It was wall-to-wall hard wood floors and not the laminate stuff either. The wallpaper on the walls was still good although it was very dated. The kitchen and Bathroom fixtures and plumbing where still good. The house had spacious rooms all except for the downstairs bathroom. It was a four bedroom two bathroom home. The four bedrooms where upstairs as was one of the bathrooms, downstairs there was the kitchen, utility room, living and dining room and a bathroom. There was also a basement. I loved it. The old man walked out onto the wrap around porch and whistled. I could hear galloping hooves thundering toward us. He was already headed for the barn. I saddled a big sorrel gelding with a narrow blaze down his face and four white stockings, while Harry saddled the shorter, rounder dappled gray gelding with a wide star and snip that he called Duce. He called my mount Ace. As we rode he was telling me about the place. It was 50 acres of land and had a nice pond stocked with bass. I also learned that Bella's father used to fish here when he was a boy. Harry quit letting people fish when he started finding trash by the pond. The place really was pretty.

Harry said, "There is a tree in the south pasture that my mother always loved. She used to always say that it was the picture of persistence because this tree fell years ago during a wind storm and my father was going to cut it up so it could be used for fire wood. Fortunately for the tree, dad got busy and 3 months later when he had gone to cut the tree he discovered that the tree wasn't dead. It had re-rooted itself into the ground and was flourishing. It simply refused to give up and die. The tree's trunk still lies over on to the ground but it has since reached for the sky stretching its limbs upwards. I remember playing in that tree as a child. I loved that tree. After momma died I spent a lot of time contemplating that tree. I actually go sit on the trunk of that tree when I am feeling hopeless. It brings me comfort to think of that tree and the adversity it has overcome! I love to be near the tree, it just brings a feeling of warmth like coming home."

**I rode in silence listening to him reminisce about growing up here and later raising his family here. How after losing his wife and four year old daughter the house just held too many memories so he moved. His stories were fascinating. Once we were back at the barn I had made my decision, I was going to buy it. Suddenly I was grateful to Victoria for the years of deposits in my account. I would have been able to have almost paid double for the farm.**

**"Well, what do ya think of it?" Harry asked as we unsaddled the horses and groomed them****.**

**"It's probably crazy but I want to buy it." I said.**

**Within the week I had written a large check to Harry and had the deed to my farm. To say mom was pissed would have been a huge understatement. She just couldn't understand why I loved the old farm. Things settled down the week before Edward and Bella's wedding. **

** Harry told me I could use the horses when I was home and I found it was very relaxing to ride. I spent countless hours on Ace down by the tree in the south pasture. I, like Harry before me, contemplated that tree and knew I would somehow manage happiness although I couldn't see it right now. It was a great hiding place from Edward and Bella. I thought about moving in to my home but then I wouldn't be able to spend as much time as I wanted with my family before I went back to school. I split my time between home and my farm. Harry ask**** if he could cut the hay meadow and told me he would buy the hay for the horses and what he didn't need he would sell or store. I told him that sounded great but I wanted to pay him to cut it. **

** The day of my brother's wedding came quicker than I thought it would and was every bit as hard as I had anticipated and then some. I slipped a daisy into Bella's bouquet and snuck back out. Every bride should get her favorite flowers at her wedding. After that I stood around at the boathouse with Edward, playing with Alice until it was time for the ceremony. Then I passed Alice to Esme and plastered my best smile on my face. There was no way I was going to ruin their wedding. This wasn't about me. It was about my brother and his new bride. Their happiness was all that mattered.**

Esme's POV the day of the wedding

I stood cradling Alice in her christening gown that resembled Bella's dress. It was so thoughtful of her to include Alice. She was the "Honorary Flower Girl". She wouldn't really be in the wedding but it was the thought. The boathouse was the perfect setting for this day. Bella and Rosalie's bouquets would be simple yet elegant short bundle of red roses for Bella and a short bundle of red and white roses for Rosalie and the guy's boutonnières where a single red rosebud. The carpeted path where the wedding party would trod was littered with red and white rose petals and lead up to the arch constructed solely out of red and white roses. I chose to leave the tables instead of rows of chairs. There where mini bouquets of red and white roses and rose petals on each table as well as a disposable camera for guests to take candid snap shots of the wedding and reception. I just hoped all went well. Just as today was a joyous occasion for Edward and Bella it was a somber day for my other son, Jasper. I must say my oldest son is a phenomenal actor. With a smile on his face he worked through his feelings and genuinely did want Edward and Bella to be happy. As his mother it still hurt to know that no matter how happy he seemed to be today that really deep down he was dying inside. After the ceremony I was going to spend time with Jasper. Maybe I would drive out to his farm with him and let him explain why he loved it so much.

Edwards POV

I stood in front of my family and friends with the minister that was filling in for Reverend Webber and my brother waiting for My Bella to walk down the path of rose petals to me as the music played and Rosalie began her slow procession down the aisle. My heart thundered as she finally reached us and Bella appeared. My heart jumped to my throat it was all I could do not to go meet her. It was slow torture seeing my beautiful bride walking ever so slowly toward me. It was the longest 3minute of my life.

"Breathe, Edward or you're going to pass out. Then mom will strangle you and we will be burying you tomorrow. Then I'll have to wear this tux again." Jasper whispered touching my shoulder.

I let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding and gave Jasper a smile, "Thanks!" I whispered and we both chuckled a little.

"Knock it off you two. Your mom's giving you the eye!" we heard Rosalie hiss.

We both looked at mom who was giving us her if-you-dare-screw-this-up-I'll-kill-your-ass look as Bella reached us I could see she was amused by Jasper and my exchange. She was having a hard time not laughing too.

"Edward, you had better not pass out. Esme will kill you and I don't want to be a widow!" She giggled. "Hey thanks for the daisy you put the daisy into my bouquet."

"I didn't touch your bouquet." I said confused.

I saw here exchange a look with Jasper and he nodded, "Thanks, Jaz! I love it!" She whispered.

Rosalie called her attention to mom as well. The three of us stifled our laughter out of fear for our safety and the minister started.

He cleared his throat also giving us the eye and said,

"Edward and Bella, presenting yourselves here today to be joined in marriage, you perform an act of faith. This faith can grow and develop and last, but only if you both decide to make it so. A lasting and growing love is not guaranteed by any ritual.  
>If you would have the foundation of your marriage be the devotion you have for one another, not just at this moment, but for all the days to come, then treasure the hopes and dreams that you bring here today. Establish that your love will never be blotted out by the common nor obscured by the ordinary in life. Faults will surface where now you find comfort, and admiration can be shattered by the routine of daily life.<br>Dedication, love, and joy can grow only when you nourish them together. Stand fast in that hope and confidence, having faith in your shared destiny just as strongly as you have faith in yourselves and in one another today. Only with this spirit can you forge a union that will strengthen and endure all the days of your lives."

Edward repeated after the minister, "I, Edward, take you, Bella, as my best friend and only love, beside me and apart from me, in laughter and in tears, in conflict and tranquility, asking that you be none other than yourself, loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not yet know, in all the ways that life may find us."  
>Edward slipped the ring on Bella's finger and reverently said, "Bella, I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I will love you forever, in the name of God.<br>Bella smiled and repeated after the minister, "I, Bella, take you, Edward, as my best friend and only love, beside me and apart from me, in laughter and in tears, in conflict and tranquility, asking that you be none other than yourself, loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not yet know, in all the ways that life may find us."  
>With trembling hands Bella placed Edward's ring on his finger and said, "Edward, I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I will love you forever, in the name of God. <p>

At the reception the wedding party was seated at a table together. Bella leaned over me and said, "Hey Jaz! Thanks for keeping Edward from passing out! Dad and I could see he wasn't breathing as we were coming down the aisle. I about died laughing when Rosalie scolded you two."  
>Esme cleared her throat, "I was about to come up there and knock your heads together! But it was a good thing that you reminded your brother to breathe." At that statement my brother, Bella, and I erupted in laughter. The photographer snapped a picture at that moment. Esme called everyone to order and Bella and I cut the cake. We nicely fed each other cake because we had been threatened with our lives if we just stuffed the cake in each other's faces and then opened the wedding gifts that were sat before us. We danced and drank to our champagne toasts. After that we visited and carried on for hours and way too soon it was time to go.<p>

I kissed my mother and sister goodbye, hugged my dad and brother and took my new wife's hand and off we went to our honeymoon. Daytona Beach here we come. A week of just lying on the beach beside my Bella it doesn't get any better than this!

Our flight seemed so long. Mom had been insistent on Bella wearing a sexy little barely-there silk camisole top and a pair of cream slacks. It was torture to sit next to her and keep my hands to myself. When I got her to the hotel I couldn't guarantee that the top would be in one piece. I kept shifting in my seat to try to hide my growing problem in my pants. I could see Bella was amused but really trying to behave and not tease me.

She finally feigned being cold and ask for a blanket. I was disappointed when she covered up but at least I would be able to walk off the plane without everyone knowing what I was thinking about doing to my wife. The rest of the flight Bella read and I looked at a magazine. I was never so happy when the plane touched down.

We got our luggage and hailed a cab. I practically dragged Bella in the hotel after paying the driver. We got our room and Bella was playing with me as she started walking slower and slower to the room. I opened the door and launched the bags inside and ran back to get my bride. I grabbed her and threw her over my shoulder, eliciting giggles from her, and ran back to the room. The problem was to my frustration in my haste I had locked the keys securely in the room. Bella giggled so hard that I couldn't help but laugh too. We walked hand in hand to the front desk and told the clerk that we had locked ourselves out of the room and he called a security guard to come let us back in. The guard opened the door and smirked at me when he saw the bags and the keys flung into the room. Bella was mortified and I couldn't help but smirk back.

Once the door was closed I softly kissed Bella as I lead us toward the bed removing the camisole leaving a lacey little bra. I unbuttoned the slacks and she kicked them off. I gently picked her up and cradled her in my arms till I laid her on the bed. I planned to worship every inch of her glorious body tonight. I gently stretched my body next to hers and trailed kisses down her neck stopping occasionally to nip her to her shoulder. I made my way down her shoulders to just above her bra and kissed the fabric right over her nipples then continued down to her navel and moved on to her inner thigh. She was moaning in pleasure as I slid her panties off and delved my tongue in to her. I enjoyed the moans of pleasure as I continued my effort. "Edward, Please I need you!" she moaned as a slipped off my clothes and slowly kissed my way back up her body. She groaned and bucked her hips impatiently. I positioned myself and slid my entire length deep within her and was rewarded with another moan. I pumped slowly enjoying that she met me stroke for stroke. I loved hearing her moans of pleasure. I let her set the pace. When she was getting close she would always speed the pace and start calling out my name. I freed her breasts and nipped at her nipple and sent her screaming over the edge. I fell over with her. We lay there tangled together trying to catch our breath. I rolled onto my back and intertwined our fingers. "I love you!" She said breathlessly.

"I love you too!" I smiled. She rolled over and lay on my chest. We must have fallen asleep because we were awakened by a sliver of sunlight streaming through the curtains. We got up and I joined her for some soapy steamy shower sex. Once we were showered and dried off we dressed and went to breakfast. Then it was back to the room to get ready for the beach that we didn't actually make it to. Sex on the counter up against the mirror seemed like a better idea after that we needed another shower and a power nap. I woke up around six that evening so I ordered a pizza and snuggled back in bed with my wife. She was awakened when the pizza delivery guy knocked at the door. I answered the door and she went to brush out her hair.

We finally made it to the beach the last day only because Bella wanted to see the beach before we left. We were exhausted due to our strenuous activity most of the night before so we lay on the beach and fell asleep. We woke badly sunburned. We stopped at a drugstore and picked up some Aloe lotion. Poor Bella had blisters on her skin from the hours we were asleep. I wasn't burned nearly as bad but I was still on fire. I could only imagine her pain. When we reached the hotel I sent her to stand in a cool shower. I was worried she seemed a little disoriented on the ride home. I heard the shower turn off and went to help her put on the Aloe lotion. She winced as I gently massaged the cream in.

"Sorry! I'm trying to be careful." I said feeling terrible.

"It hurts no matter what it's not you." She comforted me dragging her fingernails over my scalp.

"I love you Bella!" I grinned up at her.

That night was miserable. We were so sunburned we couldn't sleep. We opted to go swimming after lying for hours trying to get comfortable. The cool water did help but we didn't get any sleep.

On the plane ride home we finally slept. When the plane touched down we collected our bags and drove to the relstate office to pick up the keys to our new home. Our agent said that the house that we were going to rent had been sold and so now we had no home. Bella called her dad and we went to stay with him.

Bella POV

When we returned home Edward enrolled in radiology tech classes and worked at the hospital. I enrolled in online classes and was working on my teaching degree and was writing children's books. I wrote a book for Alice and had found a publisher that loved my work and was marketing my books so well that one was pretty much building us a nice nest egg. She was constantly asking be to write a book about a certain subject. I had been giving her a book every 2 or 3 months written and illustrated. The house we had rented had fallen through so we stayed with my dad. We hunted for a house but nothing was available.

Finally after three months of fruitless house hunting, Jasper came down and said he had some were we could make a home. We followed him down a long country road and pulled up to a well-worn farmhouse. It was the place that Jasper would always dream about when he was a kid. I loved it but Edward wasn't crazy about it.

Jasper let us in the front door and told us, "I bought this place over the summer. You can stay here until I finish college."

"Jasper how much do you need for rent?" I asked.

"I hadn't even thought of that. You guys don't have to pay me." He said.

"We were going to pay $350 for the other house but this house is twice the size of it. We are paying rent how does $600 a month sound." I said.

"Too high! $350 sounds fine! The previous owner has horses here so you will see him here frequently. If you need anything or if there's a problem with the horses just call Harry." Jasper said.

Edward still hadn't said a word he was wondering from room to room glumly. Jasper gave us a tour. I was so thrilled to have our own space.

"Well I have to get back. I just wanted to offer it to you guys." Jasper said.

"Thanks, Jaz! It will be great to have our own space." I said shooting a pointed look and Edward.

"Yes thank you Jasper! It was really kind of you to think of us." Edward said.

I walked Jasper out to his truck because I had a request, "Jasper, I was going to ask if you would tell us that we can't change the walls. I love them and that's the first thing Edward and your mom will want to do."

"Of Course! Don't you be changin' nothin' in my house!" He grinned.

"You're such a cornball!" I giggled as I hugged him goodbye.

"See ya, Jaz! Drive safe and thank you so much!" I said as I pulled away.

"You're welcome Bell's. It's great to see you happy!" he said as he hopped in his truck and was gone.

I walked back to the house where Edward was sitting on the kitchen counter, "How are we going to get out of this one?"

"We're not. Edward, this place is great! I love it. Jasper and I use to come here as kids. We always loved it. What don't you like about it?" I asked bracing for all of his complaints.

"Bella, it's old. It doesn't even have a paved road to it and the drive way is two tire tracks through grass all the way. It's dusty and isolated. Then there are the huge creatures outside." He shuttered.

"Are you referring to the horses?" I pause to see him nod and chuckled, "Don't be such a girl! I'll protect you from the man eating horses! It's quiet out here. There is no traffic, no nosey neighbors, no street lights to obstruct the stars. Edward I think once we settle in you will love it here!"

"If you are happy then I guess we can try it for a while." Edward relented.

Esme insisted on taking us furniture shopping. I think she was disappointed about my color choice. She found her exact living room furnishings and was hinting toward us buying it but I saw a mocha couch and recliner set and a coffee table and end table set that closely matched the wooden floors. Edward insisted on area rugs for our bedroom and living room. Once again Esme and I had a difference of opinion. I found rugs that would go well in the living room and bedroom. Esme said that we could paint the rooms to match the rugs and furniture we wanted but I told her that I liked the rugs and furniture I had picked and that Jasper like the house the way it was and had requested that we not change the wallpaper inside the house. I left out the part where I ask him to help me rein in his mother. She huffed but moved on. After a long day of shopping we went to dad's to pack our stuff.

The next day we were watching as the delivery guys moved in the furniture. Esme had asked about the empty bedrooms. She wanted you to take Jasper and Edward's furniture from her house and make them guestrooms. I agreed to let her arrange the guestrooms for us, partly because if she was busy with the guestrooms I would be able to arrange my living room and bedroom myself. I started unpacking stuff and soon I saw my dad and Esme in my dad's truck dragging the police station's trailer with all of the furniture from the boy's bedroom. I grinned knowing that she would already have a plan for their room at her house. Dad and Edward carried the furniture up to its destination and I could hear Esme instructing.

I decided to take a break. So I walked outside to the ol' weathered barn. I had wanted to explore the barn since I saw it. I slide the door opened and stepped inside. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust. There were 3 stalls to my left, a saddle rack with two adult sized saddles and a bridle on each saddle horn as then there was a tiny saddle with a bridle hanging from its saddle horn. There was a hay loft above that the guys Harry had hired had filled with fresh hay. There was a large roomy stall on the other side of the barn and then the rest of the barn was open. I could see my kids playing in this barn. Too bad we would be moving when Jasper finished college I loved this place and there was no way Edward was going to buy a place like this. I was snapped out of my thoughts by Edward calling for me. I left the barn and met him on the porch. "What were you doing down there?" He chuckled.

"I wanted to see the inside of that barn. I can't believe I am lucky enough to live here." I sighed.

"You really are strange, my beautiful wife!" he said softly kissing my temple then continued, "You do know we are going to keep looking for a suitable house and move off this Green Acers Nightmare, right?"

"I don't know! Edward, give it a chance. I love it here." I said.

"For now we'll stay but I am going to keep looking and when I find a new place we are out of here!" He said firmly.

Seriously did he really think he could just make a unilateral decision and I would just go along like a good little wifey? I would let it go for now but I wasn't going to be left out of this decision.

Esme came out of the porch and announced that she had finished the guestrooms and was going to go get started on her new office. Edward drove her home while I started supper. I had just finished the chicken fajitas when he came home.

We sat in the living room and ate while watching a TV show that Edward watched without fail every week. After supper I took the dishes to the kitchen and washed them. Then I headed outside. There was a chicken coop that I wanted to fix up. There's nothing better than real farm raised eggs. I inspected it carefully. All I found was a hole in the roof. I had seen some extra tin in the barn so I would have to ask dad to see if I could barrow his tin snips and a hammer. I couldn't wait! I knew our local Atwood's had by chicks on sale. I would need a couple heat lamps too. When I went in back to the house Edward rolled his eyes when I told him of my plans. "We aren't staying for for long Bella, but if you insist on buying Jasper some chickens knock yourself out." He said.

"I will!" I said.

A couple months later I did fix the chicken coop and bought some baby chicks. I fed them every morning and evening. One evening after feeding I wandered aimlessly until I found myself at the pond. This was the pond dad use to fish in as a child. I made a mental note to take dad fishing. Maybe this weekend Edward had to work so I didn't have any plans. I saw a neat looking tree in the distance and decided to check it out. I walked through the pasture noticing all of the wild flowers. They were gorgeous. As I neared the giant tree I was amazed. Sometime through its years it had fallen but its roots had dug back onto the ground and the tree started growing toward the sky again. The tree would be perfect for a tree house. I sat on the trees trunk for a while and enjoyed the light breeze that tickled my face until my cell phone rang.

"Hello!" I answered.

"Where are you?" Edward's irritated voice asked.

"I took a walk in the pasture. It is beautiful out here." I sighed.

"Are you on your way back?" he asked.

"I can be." I said.

"No, no that's fine! I'm going to go in to work for a little while. Enjoy your evening." He said.

"Edward you weren't scheduled to work this evening." I said.

"Yeah I know one of our tech's quit in the radiology department and there's no one to cover his shift. So I have to go and help. Love you! Bye!" he said.

I started back to the house and was met by Harry Clearwater, "Hi Harry!" I called to him.

"Hey, there Bella! How are you?" He said leaning against the fence.

"I'm good. I just took a walk it's so gorgeous out here." I said.

"Yeah I always liked it here." He said.

"You use to ride some didn't ya?" he asked.

"Yeah! Jasper and I would beg our dad's to take us riding when we were kids. We use to vacation together. Our dad's would fish and we would ride the horses they borrowed for us. For a whole week we would be cowboys." I said smiling at the memory.

"I told Jasper that as long as you don't mind an old plug that will plod along at a snail's pace that he could ride Ace and Duce whenever he wanted the same goes for you." He said pointed out each horse with his name. My eyes settled on Duce the gray who was the shorter of the two. He ambled over to the fence when his name was called to be scratched.

"Oh my gosh! Thank you so much! It's been 2 years since I last rode!" I think I will take you up on that!" I said.

"Well I was just feeding the old gentlemen here so I guess I better go. See ya Bella!" He said with a wave.

"See ya Harry! And thanks for letting me ride!" I called to him.

I went and sat on the porch swing and called my dad. He was excited about us fishing this weekend. I talked to dad for an hour then when to grab a book. I snuggled down in to the swing and began reading until the sun began to set. I was in awe of the sight before me. The sky was streaked with hues of purples, pinks, and gold. It was truly beautiful. I took out my phone and snapped a picture and the typed a short message of thanks to Jasper and text him the wonderful scene.

**Your Welcome! I'm Glad the two of you are enjoying the view.** was his response.

**E got called in to work, just me enjoying your view! Don't think E is a country boy anyway!** I text back

**I can't wait till I have that view every night** he said

**I'll bet! How's school?** I asked

**Good! Missin home though! I hear ur in school again** he said

**Yeah! Gong be a kdg teacher** I replied

**You always liked kids. Bet you'll do great! Gotta go for now! Study group! Type to ya later! : )** he said

I went in and took a shower and then went to bed. I heard Edward come in and take a shower about three. He snuggled in close before falling asleep. In the morning I was awaked to the smell of bacon and eggs. I padded to the kitchen where Edward was fixing a tray. There was a red rose that he had cut from the bush outside and he was pouring a glass of milk. I quietly crept back to our room and feigned sleep until he came in with the tray.

"Good Morning!" He said cheerfully as he set the tray on the bed. I sat up carefully so I wouldn't spill any of the food.

"Wow! Edward, thank you!" I said sampling a strip on bacon. He sat down on the bed and started eating his own plate of food.

"You're welcome! I was short with you last night and then I came home so late. Also I have to trade shifts around so I can do classes and work so I am now on evenings. They are going to hire another evening tech. I think they may have hired someone from my class. So I will be coming in late every night but it will be closer to eleven from now on." He kissed my forehead and then went to get ready for class.

I took the dished to the kitchen and washed them then padded to the living room and grabbed my laptop so I could begin my course work.

Edward came walking through and chuckled then teased, "Must be nice to work from home in your jimmies. I'll bring you home some fuzzy slippers!"

"They had better be purple!" I picked back sitting my computer to the side to got give my incredibly sexy husband a kiss before he left for school, "Have a nice day babe!"

"You too My Love!" He said then walked out the door.

I settled back into do my class work. By midmorning I had finished. So I got dressed and decided to go for a ride.

I saddled Duce and swung into the saddle and started off. Duce plodded along as I rode along the fence lined boarder of Jasper's property. I found a grove of pecan trees as I rode further and there were three peach trees and two apple trees behind the pound dam. After my ride I groomed Duce and split a peach between him and Ace who had made every step his pasture mate had.

I took the rest of the peaches into the house and went to clean up. I washed the peaches and put them away and then picked up the house and did some laundry. Then headed outside to read some more on the porch. I sat down to read when I heard a car coming up the drive. It was Esme and Alice.

"Good morning Esme!" I greeted.

Alice leaned toward me chanting "Wanna hold you! WANNA HOLD YOU!" It was so hard to believe she was already 11 months old I thought as I took her form Esme.

"Good Morning Bella! I have a huge favor to ask of you. I need someone to look after Alice overnight. Carlisle had to fly to a training seminar for the hospital and I really would like to go with him." She told me.

"That's no problem." I said leading Esme inside.

"Great! You're a life saver!" She said.

"I love hanging out with my Ally girl! She's so good." I said.

"I'm glad you said that because it leads me to my next question! I am going back to interior design. Some of my old clients are requesting a quite a few jobs. So I was going to see if you would be interested in watching Alice while I work. I checked with the daycares around and they want thirty dollars and there is a cramped room with six babies and I care giver. I just don't want that for my little Alice. I would pay you $30 per day and furnish everything she will need." She said hopefully.

"That sounds good. I take online classes for now and it sounds like your hours will be flexible so it will work." I said.

Esme jumped up and hugged me. "I'll go get her stuff." She said as started dragging in stuff. There was a port-a-crib, a high chair, two baby gates and a box of bottles and formula, a giant box of pampers, two boxes of wipes, a bag of clothes, a box of blankets and a pediatric medical kit and Alice's car seat. I was amazed at all of the stuff Esme had brought.

"I'll see ya later Bella! Bye! Bye Alice! Mommy loves you!" She said and then she was gone.

It was a cool summer day in May so Alice and I rocked on the porch swing until she fell asleep and then laid her in the middle of my bed surrounded by pillows then took the port-a-crib to the empty room across from mine. I had a feeling she would spend as much time in there as she would in her own room at home. I pulled Jasper's old dresser from one of the guest rooms into Alice's new room. The walls where a faded buttery yellow which would work in a little girls room. I set up the port-a-crib and put her clothes, blankets, medical kit, diapers, and wipes in the drawers of Edward's old dresser. There was a foam mat at the bottom of one of the boxes so I placed it on top of the dresser and had an instant changing table. I then moved Alice into her room and installed the baby gates one at the top of the stairs and one at the bottom. Then I went back down stairs and started putting away the bottles and formula away. Next I sat the high chair in the dining room and the car seat by the door.

I sat down on the couch and text Edward. **We have Ally tonight.**

My phone rang so I answered, "Hey!"

"What do mean, we have Alice?" He asked.

"Your dad had a seminar to go to and your mom went with him. She also asked if I would start watching Alice while she goes back to work." I said.

"Bella," he groaned, "When Mom works sometimes she's gone for days at a time. With Carlisle being on call most of the time, you will have Ally most of the time." I remained silent waiting for him to say anything more. Was he seriously upset with me?

"I'm sorry Love! You were excited and I ruined it." He said.

"She's paying me to watch her. I have a makeshift nursery set up in the room next to ours. I need a baby monitor will you pick one up for me today?" I said somewhat icily.

"Alright. I will grab one. Have a good day!" He said before hanging up. I was annoyed with his behavior. He had two weeks of classes and then he was done and would be full time at the hospital. I hoped things would change once he was done with school but I was worried that they wouldn't. Lately he would be snotty with me and then try to make amends. I was sick of accepting his hallow apologies.

I hurried to fix lasagna for supper and stuck it in the fridge. Then I woke Alice's up and change her diaper then carried her down stairs to get her bottle and lunch. I had fed Alice and was sitting in the floor playing with her when I heard a car door close. I scooped Alice up and we went to the porch. It was Edward he had a shopping bag in his hands. In it was a baby monitor and a purple pair of fuzzy slippers that he was teasing me about this morning.

"I'm sorry." He said kissing my cheek.

"That seems to be the theme these days." I said turning away and sitting Alice on her pallet with her toys.

"Bella I am sorry! I don't know what I'm supposed to do. It seems my apologies just make you angry." He said.

"I'm not angry because you apologies to me. I'm angry because I know they are empty! We are in this cycle of you being hateful to me, then you apologizing and me forgiving you only for you to be hateful to me again! I don't know what's going on but don't think for a second I'm putting up with it anymore!" I said.

"I gotta go. I just wanted to bring you your stuff." He said storming out.

I called and invited dad to dinner. Then I sat down in the floor and started playing with Alice again. I took her outside and held her hands while she "walked" She was getting so big. Dad got here a little before six and played with her while I put supper in the oven. When I came out he asked, "Bell's what was wrong. I know you well enough to know something's up."

"It's not a big deal dad. Edward and I just had words before he left." I said, "I got tired of his mood swings and his hateful attitude. So I told him about it."

"Bella, some men can't handle the pressure of their wives making more than they do." He said, "Your books pay rent, bills, buy groceries, your tuition, and pays a third of his tuition. His job pays his tuition and keeps gas in the cars. I think that maybe part of the problem."

"Well he needs to get over it. I can't just stop selling my books and making money just because he's not happy." I said.

"Bella I think it is the fact that you aren't dependent on him and he is dependent on you. Men are just funny that way." He said.

"Well that's just stupid! It's our money and it's not like I lord it over him." I grumbled.

"I know but that's the way Edward feels. Bell's he's talked to me about this. I just thought it might be helpful for you to know." He said.

We took Alice inside and ate dinner. Alice thoroughly enjoyed her meal and I was glad that I stripped her down to her diaper. I gave Alice a bath while dad watched TV. Once Alice was clean and in light pjs she kept saying, "Sing! Sing!" I chuckled, she wanted to go to the swing.

Dad and I went to the swing and rocked until Alice fell asleep. I took her up to her room, set up the baby monitor and went back to dad.

"She's getting so big! What and they doing for her birthday?" Charlie asked.

"They are having cake and ice cream at Esme's. It's hard to believe she's almost a year." I said sitting down on the couch.

"You know your first anniversary is coming up soon too." Dad said, "What are you doing to celebrate?"

"I honestly don't know. Edward's been in such a bad mood lately I haven't even talked to him about it." I said.

"Bells, just give him time. You all will get through this. It's getting late I better go! Love you!" He said before he headed to his pick-up.

I went in the house and straightened the house and cleaned the kitchen. I sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. There wasn't really anything on so I just putting on music videos and picked up my laptop. My publisher had some interest in a book to help children through being bullied. So I continued my research. For this one I was thinking about doing two books one for small children and one for teenaged kids. I basically had the children's book finished all but the illustrations.

Alice woke up and I went to get her on the way back down I heard my cell phone chime. I had a voice mail.


	3. Chapter 3

Edward POV

I was in the Radiology Film Room when I heard her come in. My pulse raced, in a matter of seconds she was right behind me. I turned and encircled her with my arms. I crashed my lips against hers as I lifted her onto the counter. I pushed my hands under her top and slipped it off and trailed kisses from her mouth to her collar bone my hands palmed her breasts. I was about to pull the offending fabric aside when I heard my pager for the radiology tech go off. I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. "I'm sorry Sarah! I have to take this." I said.

"It's no biggie! We'll continue this later!" Sarah breathed as she kissed the side of my neck.

I got to the ER where an older gentleman in a cowboy hat sat cradling his rope burned right hand. I got him a wheel chair and took him to get X-rays.

"What did you do to your hand?" I asked.

"Well I had a steer get out so I roped him. I should have saddled my horse and roped it off of him but it seemed too much of a hassle. Now I am here in the ER and have a steer running around dragging my good rope." He chuckled.

I took the x-rays, delivered him back to the ER and hurriedly returned to the Radiology Film Room to Sarah but she was gone. I ran the reports and waited for the x-rays so I could take them to the dad. He was the ER doctor tonight. As I took the films back to the ER I heard Sarah. She was a med student working under my dad. They both looked up as I entered. I handed her the films and quickly left. I was in such a hurry to get away I didn't even see my father-in-law walk through the door.

"Hey, Edward! Do you have a minute?" He called.

"Yeah sure! Let's go to the cafeteria." I said. As we walked I wondered why he was here. I grabbed a cup of coffee and we took a seat at a table.

"What brings you by?" I asked.

"Well, I wanted you to know that I talked to Bella tonight. I ended up tell her about our conversation that we had about her book money. I wanted you to hear it from me first. I hope you're not mad but she is upset. Edward she doesn't know what's going on with you. Please just talk to her. She'll understand more than you think. She's smart enough to know something's wrong. You all can't fix whatever it is if you don't talk about it. I know you're busy so I'll get out of your hair. Edward, just think about what I said." He patted my shoulder as he left the table.

I sat there with my head in my hands. What had I done? I know I am hurting Bella and I have every intention of ending this thing with Sarah but she's like a drug. I had tried several times to end it but always lost my resolve when I was around her. Why was I so attracted to Sarah? I loved Bella. I need some brotherly. I walked out to an ambulance bay and fished my cell phone out of my pocket and called my brother.

"Hey, Edward. What's up?" Jasper answered.

"Hi Jaz. I was just calling you to, well… I screwed up. I don't know what to do." I blurted out.

"What happened? It can't be that bad." He said, "Hey, I am headed to moms. I'll swing by."

"You're here?" I said shocked. I could do this over the phone but I wasn't sure if I could tell him face to face that I was cheating on the one person that he had always protected. "Ok, South Ambulance Bay." I said, "Hey! You're home early. Mom and dad are out of town."

"Oh, I'm pulling in to the parking lot. I see ya." Jasper said.

I walked to the parking lot to meet my brother. I was beginning to reconsider telling him I had been cheating on Bella. He had always been so protective. I was ready to back out when he asked, "So what did you do?"

"I...er...Never mind!" I said.

"Edward, I'm your brother. You can talk to me." He said in his concerned voice only making me feel even worse about what I was doing.

"I can't." I said, "You will be pissed at me."

"Edward the only thing that would piss me off is…" he trailed off and looked me dead in the eyes and I knew I was screwed Jasper was the human lie detector, "Are you cheating on Bella?"

"I…I'm ending it! Jasper, I swear! It's over! I love Bella. Sarah means nothing." I began.

"Does she know?" Jasper asked in a voice tight with anger.

"No. I mean she knows something is wrong but she doesn't know what." I said hanging my head, "Are you going to tell her?"

"I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm going to sleep on it." He growled getting back in his truck and leaving.

I fished out my phone and called Bella. I couldn't face her tonight so I was relieved when it went to voice mail, "Hey Babe, I'm just calling to let you know that I am going to have to work all night. We got slammed here. I'll be lucky if I get a break long enough to go grab something to eat. Love you."

I walked back in to the hospital and was met by Sarah. "I'm on break. Do you want to go grab coffee?" she smiled.

"That sounds nice!" I said knowing that I was digging myself a deep hole that I hadn't a clue how to get out of, "How about dinner?"

Bella's POV

Since Alice was awake I got her dressed and decided to take Edward supper at the hospital. I drove to the hospital and got Alice out of the car and then carried her and the left over lasagna in to the Radiology lab but Edward wasn't there. The nurse at the nurse's station said he went to dinner with a colleague. So I started back to the car where I saw Edward's car pulling in the parking lot. He had a pretty blond woman in his car. They were laughing and talking and didn't even notice me. I started walking to the car, when I saw him lean in and tenderly kiss her. I dropped the bag of leftovers and stood there shocked. I wanted to look away but I couldn't. Alice squealed to get my attention and then said, "Bella" They broke apart and Edward's eyes locked on mine and jumped out of the car.

"Bella, Oh God! I'm sorry! I..." he said.

"Didn't think you'd get caught." I finished for him. I hated that Alice was sitting on my hip and had a front row seat to all of this. I tried to be careful to keep my composure.

"I'm sorry it was me, not him. I misread the situation." She started.

I dodged Edward's attempt to hold me and turned into the path of the skank that was trashing my marriage, "Don't!" I warned her, "And just how long have you been screwing my husband?"

"Bella, leave her out of this. This is between you and me." He said stepping in front of her to protect her from my wrath...

"She put herself in the middle of it the moment she spread her legs for you!" I retorted.

"I…au…I…haven't …I...I gotta go!" she stammered scurrying away.

"That tells me everything I needed to know right there." I said to a very pale Edward, "Feel free to spend the night elsewhere or whatever! I will pack up and move back to dads."

"Bella you can stay in that house. You love that place. I will leave, I hate everything about it! I only lived there because of you." He said sadly.

"Yeah because you love me _so _much" I said sarcastically.

I turned to go and he caught my arm I stopped but didn't turn around I couldn't trust myself to hold my tongue. There would be time for that later when Alice wasn't with me, "I'll stay at moms tonight and be over in the morning! We can work this out." He said.

I wheeled around and stood nose to nose with him and growled, "No Edward! We can't work it out. I only had two deal breakers, one was being abusive and the other was cheating. I can't trust you now, Edward! Even if we were to ever work this out I would always wonder if you were having an affair." He stood stunned as I removed my arm from his grasp and stalked to the car.

On the drive home Edward called repeatedly. I turned it off and dropped it in my purse. Alice had fallen asleep and I didn't want to wake her. When I got home Jasper was sitting on the front porch swing. He pushed up and met me in the drive. "Hey, Bells" Then seeing my face he added, "He's told you." I shook my head.

"No, I caught him." I sobbed. He pulled me into his chest and held me there while I fell to pieces in his arms.

"What are you doing here?" I sniffed.

"I finished my courses early and was driving home to surprise mom and dad. Then Edward called me so I stopped by. After our _talk_ I headed to mom's house and then I saw him at the dinner and came here and waited for you. I figured you might need a friend." He said.

"Thanks Jaz." I hiccupped.

"Come on let's go in the house." He said as he leaned in to the car to scoop Alice into his arms then putting his arm around me steering me to the door and taking my keys.

Once we were in the house I told him that the Yellow room was Alice's. He nodded and headed up stairs to put Alice to bed. I collapsed on the couch. When Jasper came back I snuggled into his side and he held me while I cried some more. I felt so empty. I had given Edward everything I was and ever would have been and he threw it back at me. I wanted to hate him. I wanted to be angry but I was too exhausted. I was so tired of the fighting and wondering what I had done to make him hate to be around me. I don't know what time it was that I finally cried myself to sleep. When I awakened I was still curled into Jasper's side and he was asleep. I could see streaks of gold and orange. The sun was rising. I stirred and Jasper's arm tightened around me. I squirmed a bit more and he released me.

"Morning" He said softly.

"Hey, I'm sorry about last night. I'm sure that was the last thing you wanted to deal with." I said.

"Bella, you needed me. Where else would I be? You were always there for me and I will always be here for you!" He said.

"Thanks Jaz!" I said giving him a hug, "Hey Do you want to watch the sun rise?" I asked pulling him up.

"Sure Bells! Just let me get some coffee." He said as I headed out to the porch swing. I sat down and watched the birth of a brand new day. Jasper brought me a cup of coffee and sat on the other end of the swing. We sat in comfortable silence and enjoyed our coffee. After the sun was just above the horizon I heard Alice on the baby monitor. Jasper went to get Alice and I fixed her oatmeal. We sat at the table and ate. Thanks to Skype Alice knew who Jasper was so she wasn't shy about babbling happily to him. I was quiet through breakfast and was thankful Jasper was here to take care of Alice this morning. About mid-morning Alice fell asleep and I carried her up to her room. I was coming down the stairs and saw Jasper standing in the door was talking very gruffly to someone.

"I really don't give a shit what you want. If she wants to see you then she can let you in. You stay here and I'll go get her," as he shut the door and turned to the stairs. When he saw me he said, "He's here if you want to see him."

"I think I need to talk to him." I said. Jasper nodded and started to go upstairs, "Jasper, Don't leave!"

"I'm not going anywhere. I noticed that there are guest rooms upstairs. I'll be up there if you need me." He said.

I drew in a deep breath and walked through the door. I kept walking until I was at the old pipe fence. I leaned on it and waited for Edward to say something.

"Bella, we can get past this. She means nothing to me." He said.

"If only that were true …" I said sadly.

"It is true!" Edward insisted.

I looked over at Edward and said, "If she really meant nothing to you then you wouldn't have stepped between us like you thought I was going to hurt her. Edward, I saw the way you looked at her. It was the way you used to look at me before we started growing apart. I don't think I was ever really important to you."

"You have always been important to me!" he said reaching to try and pull me in to a hug. I stiffened and pulled away.

"Edward, you never took the time to really get to know me." I realized.

"I know you!" He insisted, "Ask me anything."

"Fine! How do I take my coffee?" I asked remembering my coffee this morning that was exactly the way I liked it. If Jasper being only my friend could remember that why couldn't my husband remember?

"You always fix your coffee. Ask something I know." He said.

"Ok, when we were getting married I told you what my favorite flower was. What was it?" I asked.

"Roses." He said.

"No! Daisies and to be really specific the big White Shasta Daisies." I said, "I also don't really care for coke although that's the only thing you bring home for me and although I love sweet tea I drink the coke and have given up asking that next time you bring me tea. I hate sappy romantic movies, I prefer action or horror movies but that is the movies you select on a date night. Edward I am beginning to feel like you are trying to mold me into someone else."

"How was I supposed to know?" He asked defensively.

"How could you not? I told you time and time again." I said not backing down, "Or maybe you had me confused with her."

"We aren't talking about Sarah! We are talking about us. I'm going to pack a bag and go to mom's." he shot back.

"Good!" I said sagging into the fence again suddenly feeling exhausted!

Jasper's POV

I heard the door and heard footsteps on the stairs too heavy to be Bella's. Then I heard drawers opening and closing. I walked to the bedroom doorway where I saw Edward packing. He looked up but kept silent. I turned and went out on the porch. I was confused as to why he would do this. Part of me wanted to hurt him for hurting Bella part of me pitied him because I knew the pain of losing her. I hated that she was hurting. I had worked so hard to think of her as happily married to my brother but now it was hard to keep myself reigned in.

I could see her leaning against the fence looking so lost. I wanted to go to her but I couldn't leave Alice. So I resigned myself to sit on the porch swing and wait for her to come back.

"Well, I'll bet you're happy." Edward growled pulling me from my thoughts.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Oh come on Jasper! Now you get to go back to being her protector again. Congratulations she needs you again!" He spat.

"Edward, I'm not happy. I care about both of you and you have trashed your marriage. She's hurting. You're hurting. There's nothing to be happy about!" I said as he stormed off to his car and pealing out sending a spray of gravel flying. I sat watching Bella contemplating the whole situation.

I saw Bella answer her phone then turned back to the house. When she finally got to the porch she sat next to me on the swing and said, "Edward has called your mom. She's on her way to get Ally and Edward's bed and things."

"I'll go pull everything apart and get it ready." I said getting up.

"Thanks Jaz. You have made this a little easier." She said.

"You're welcome Bells. Anything I can do to help." I said as I went in to the house. I took the bed apart and carried it down and put it in my truck, next I carried the mattress down, then the dresser. I had all of my brother's stuff in my truck before mom arrived so I sat down on the couch with Bella.

"Bella, do you mind if I stay here for the summer? If you do I can load my bed up too." I asked hoping she would let me stay but knowing that I shouldn't.

"Jasper, you are always welcome! It's literally your house. If you want I can move back to dads." She said.

"Bella this is your home now! You are welcome to stay as long as you like. It's nice to know someone is taking care of my place while I am away." I said.

"Are you sure? I'll move out of the…" I started before Jasper interrupted me.

"Bells, Shhh!" He asked putting his finger across my lips. "I want the bedroom that faces the hay meadow. That happens to be the room that Edward's things were in. I am going to go tomorrow and buy some new bedroom furniture to put in it. Would you like to come?"

"No. I think I'm going to try and find an attorney." I asked.

"So soon? I figured you would do counseling." I said quietly. I hated seeing her hurt! I couldn't believe Edward had made such a mess of things.

"What's the point?" She said sounding so defeated.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked knowing that she would need to talk.

"He's your brother." She said.

"Bells, he is my brother and you are my best friend. You are and always have been a priority to me. After what he's done, I am disgusted with him!" I said as honestly as I could.

"Jaz, he's your brother!" she repeated, "I shouldn't say anything against him to you."

"Bella, he told me last night then asked me not to tell you. Bells how do you think I knew why you were upset last night? You know I am on your side. If you don't want to talk about it that's fine just know that you can talk to me about anything!" I said sinking onto the couch patting the spot beside me. She sat down onto the couch cross legged facing me.

"Well, you asked for it! I am going to ask dad to recommend an attorney. I am hoping to get an appointment for tomorrow." She paused.

"Are you absolutely sure? Are you just divorcing him because you're angry? I just don't want you to have any regrets." I said looking her straight in the eyes.

"Jasper, I'm divorcing him because there's no more trust. He chose someone else over me. If he did it once he will do it again. It's not just the affair. Jasper when I was going to confront her he shielded her from me. I'm his wife. The one he vowed to love, honor, and protect forsaking all others. He chose to protect her instead. Jaz, that moment right there told me that my marriage was unsalvageable. Jaz, without trust a marriage is nothing!" she said calmly, "I've known something was wrong for a while. He left me a long time ago. Three months after our honeymoon he started being distant and took any chance to pick a fight. I'm just tired of it. I do love him but there comes a point when love just isn't enough anymore. He's good at grand romantic gestures when he feels guilty but it's the little things that really matter. I mean seriously he knows next to nothing he should know about me!"

"What do you mean he knows nothing about you?" I asked confused.

"If someone is important to you then you know their favorites, what they drink, how they take their coffee, their dreams and goals in life. Things that you learn by paying attention. Jaz, you know more about me then he does! I don't think he ever noticed who I am." She said.

"I understand that!" I said.

We heard mom pull up so she headed upstairs to get Alice while I went out to meet mom. When I got to the car I could see that mom had been crying. She got out and handed me a key.

"Here's Edward's key. Did you know?" she asked beginning to sob.

"Not until last night. He told me just before she caught him." I sighed.

"You didn't tell her?" she sniffed.

"No. I didn't. She took him supper and caught him with the other woman. She didn't say who." I said.

"How bad is it? Can they fix it?" Esme asked me.

"She's wants a divorce." I said.

"Jasper! I know your feelings for her but she's your brother's wife. Did you push her toward this?" She bit out harshly pulling away.

"I didn't! I ask her why and if she was going to regret it. She gave me solid answers as to why she was divorcing him. I would never try to split them up. Do you really think so little of me?" I asked sadly. "Bella needs me to be her friend right now and that is exactly what I intend to be is her best friend. Yes, I still love her but she doesn't need to know my feeling run any deeper than just a friend right now. I am here to support her. I will be what she needs me to be."

"I'm sorry Jasper. I shouldn't have lashed out at you like that. I just don't want to lose her." She sobbed falling into my chest. "You always were there to support her, Jaz! Regardless of whether it hurt you or not."

"I love her and her happiness is all that matters to me." I said, "She not ready to know my true feelings for her yet but as long as she knows I am in her corner no matter what that's enough."

Bella's POV

I was so nervous about dealing with Esme so I busied myself with making sure Alice was ready. She was toddling around and around the coffee table. I didn't even hear them come in.

"Bella, I hope this won't change anything between us!" She said standing awkwardly at the front door.

"Not a thing! Esme, I love you like a mother!" I said crossing the room to hug her.

"I'na hold you!" chanted Alice who had let go of the coffee table and was now walking toward us with her little arms in the air.

Jasper snapped a picture on his cell phone as Esme knelt down to wrap her arms around her baby girl.

"She took her first steps!" Esme said, "I'm so proud of you, Ally!"

We walked to the porch and Jasper took Alice to put her in her car seat so Esme and I could talk.

"Will you still watch Alice?" she asked me.

"Yes! Esme the only thing that has changed from yesterday is Edward's address." I told her.

"Are you two going to try to get past this?" she asked sadly.

"Esme the trust is gone. I can't be married to someone that I can't trust. I hope you will understand but this marriage was over the day Edward chose her over me." I said firmly, "I plan to start divorce proceedings first thing tomorrow. I want to do it as quickly as possible. Mediation would be nice if Edward will agree to it. There's no reason this has to get ugly."

She said, "Bella if you need anything you can still come to me."

"I know Esme." I said.

"I need you to watch Alice tomorrow evening from around 5 until about 11 if you can." She said.

"That's fine. Why don't I just keep her overnight and you can pick her up that next morning." I asked.

"That sounds fine." She said as she walked to her car.

Jasper came to the porch and told me, "I'm going to drop Edward's crap off then I'm going to grab a pizza and a movie. It's been forever since we did that. This time we won't have to turn down the movie because of the old folks!"

"Now, we are the old folks Jaz but a Pajama Party sounds great! I'll have the popcorn ready to go." I told him. It had been too long since I had an evening with my best friend.

While Jasper was gone I called dad and then the attorney he recommended and set up an appointment. The lawyer said that since we didn't have kids or any assets to speak of that this should be a fairly simple divorce unless Edward decided to contest it. Then we would have to go to court. He said that if we wanted we could both use him and split the attorney fees. I told him I would check and see but that I would be there for the appointment regardless of if Edward was there or not.

Next I called Edward. "Bella! I'm so sorry I will do anything to make this right! We can get past this." he began.

"Edward, there is no marriage left to save. You saw to that when you chose her. I'm not calling to work it out! I'm calling because I want a divorce. I am meeting with a lawyer tomorrow morning at 9. He said that we could save a lot of time and money if we both used him. I'll text you the address." I said.

"Bella! Why! What's you're hurry? Please let's see a counselor." He begged.

"Edward, Stop! There's nothing you can say to change my mind. If you want to use the same lawyer great we will save some money! If not we will go to court and pay more and drag this out a couple more months. The choice is yours." I growled not in the mood for his begging and pleading.

"I'll be there is it the law offices here in town?" he asked in a resigned voice.

"Yes. Our appointment is with Anthony Masen at 9." I said.

"That's fine! See ya there!" I said hanging up. I could hear the tremor in his voice and wanted to get off the phone before I heard him break down. This was hard enough without having to deal with his emotions too.

I sat down on the couch and tried to compose myself. I was just about there when Jasper came in and pulled me into a hug. "It's going to be ok Bells." He said and that's when I crumbled!

He held me while I cried and then wiped my tears away when I finally calmed down. "I called the lawyer." I told him.

"Ah. So that's why you were upset." He said.

"No! I was fine when I hung up. The lawyer suggested we both use him to save money. So I called Edward to see what He wanted to do. When I called he thought I was calling to work things out. So naturally he was upset." I told him.

She squeezed my shoulders and smiled sadly.

"So, enough with tomorrow's worries. Tonight is a pizza party with," I trailed off when Jasper placed the Leprechaun movies in my hands that he pulled out of a Wal-Mart sack, "Jaz! You remembered!" I squealed hugging him.

"What kind of a friend would I be if I didn't remember? They were only your favorite movies ever when we were kids. I thought a blast from the past was in order tonight. I remember how you would laugh at all of his little ditties. Your favorite was the one about the Man from Mantras!" he chuckled.

"And that- is why you are my best friend Jaz! You just get me!" I said going to the kitchen to get ice tea and start the popcorn in the microwave. Jasper got in the cabinets and got a couple plates and took a big drink of his tea and smiled. "Fresh Peaches?"

"Yeah! You have some peach trees down by the pond. There's a paper-shell pecan tree grove by the back fence too. You remember the pecan pies and Christmas and Thanksgiving? Those were from your trees." I said.

"Wow! Do you feel like taking a ride tomorrow and showing me where?" he asked.

"Sure! We'll go tomorrow afternoon!" I said.

He took the plates and his tea in the living room and I started hearing furniture moving around.

When the popcorn was ready I went back to the living room where Jasper had moved the coffee table to the side of the rug and had it set up buffet style with three large pizza's (a Hawaiian, a supreme without mushrooms, and a pepperoni and pineapple) and pushed the couch back and somehow had time to get pillows and blankets and change into his blue and gray flannel pj pants that Esme had bought him last Christmas and a gray t-shirt.

"This is a pajama party Bells. Get to it!" He said taking the popcorn and my tea. I went up to my room and put on my gray and black flannel pants that Esme had given me and a black tank top and threw my hair up in a ponytail and hurried back down stairs where Jasper already had the first Leprechaun movie in, skipped forward through all the previews and on pause at the beginning. He was leaned back against the couch with his head laid back on the couch cushion. I was taken back for a moment to the brief few months that I had developed a small crush on Jasper. Sitting there like that he looked just like he did back then. Whoa Bella! Where did that come from? I guess it's just all the emotions of today.

"What's got you grinning' and blushing like that?" Jasper asked.

"Oh nothing! I was just remembering some of the other pajama parties we had as kids when our dad's would drag us on those fishing trips." I said blushing even harder. Oh Crap! He caught me. I quickly hit play and fixed my plate and took my place beside my best friend. We laughed and talked about old times. Jasper always seemed to know how to make everything alright again even when I felt like I was in a tailspin. After the second movie we decided to go to bed and finish the series tomorrow. I put the food away while Jasper put the furniture back and then we took our pillows and blankets to our rooms. I slept like a rock that night with dreams of past fishing trips with Jasper and I riding horses, fishing, hiking, and all the craziness that was our wonderful childhood.

The next morning I dressed very business-like and left for the attorney's office. A receptionist greeted me then escorted me into a conference room where I chose a chair from the far side of the table and waited for the lawyer and Edward to arrive. I fidgeted in my seat and I waited. Finally I heard Mr. Masen say, "Come on into the conference room. Bella is already waiting."

Edward came in and sat across from me and the lawyer sat at the head of the table. For the next hour we sorted out everything. We each took our cars and we split the checking account and savings accounts equally. We spent another hour signing paperwork that would be filed with the court and would end our marriage. When we were finished I slipped of my ring and slid it a crossed the table in front of Edward. I walked out of the office feeling numb. I started home and noticed Edward was fallowing me. I really didn't feel like dealing with him so I pulled in at the station to visit my dad. He parked beside me. I prepared myself for whatever he was going to do and stepped out of my car. Edward was standing at the front of his car waiting for me.

"Bella, For what it's worth I am sorry! But that's not why I came. I'm not taking any of the money from the savings account. That is your book money and you should keep it." He said before turning and getting back into his car. I continued in to the station and was met by my father's warm arms pulling me into a comforting embrace as he had when I was a small child and had scraped my knee.

"I wish I could kiss the hurt away like when you were a little girl!" he whispered.

"I'm going to be ok, dad!" I said.

"Do you need your old room?" he asked.

"No. Jasper said I could stay. Edward moved to his mom's." I said.

"But Jasper is staying with you?" He said confused.

"Yeah dad. It's kinda like old times. It's nice hanging out with him. He's always been my best friend." I said.

"Bella, you two always had this thing between you when you were kids. Both of you danced around the edges of falling in love but you two were too stubborn to admit your feelings. Bella are you sure it's a good idea to live with him?" dad said.

"Oh dad! For years everyone thought Jaz and I were together! We laughed about it then and I'm sure there will be a ton of gossip now. I won't avoid my best friend just because he happens to be a guy." I said, "People will talk no matter what! So I say let them."

"I guess you're right." He relented.

"I am right! I really need to go. I just stopped in because Edward was following me and I didn't want a huge scene." I said.

"I noticed that! How did that go?" he asked.

"We still have to go before a judge but everything is settled. Edward told me he didn't want his half of the savings account. So I guess time will tell." I said.

"See ya later baby girl!" He said as we walked to the door.

I slipped into my car and drove away. My dad's words still flooded me thoughts. _'You two always had this thing between you when you were kids. Both of you danced around the edges of falling in love but you two were too stubborn to admit your feelings.'_

I knew that I had a crush on Jasper when I was younger but I had always kept in reigned in because he was my best friend. I was starting to see the old Jasper again. The one that that under stood me and believed in my no matter what I did, after my biggest triumphs he was the first call I would make. Just then I heard the song that summed up Jasper and my friendship to a T, One Friend by Dan Seals. I turned it up and smiled as I drove home to see my friend.

When I reached the house there was Jasper's truck backed up to the porch and he was wrestling a mattress trying unsuccessfully to get it in the house. I jumped out of my car and went to help him. It went through the door easily with two of us carrying it. Once all of his furniture was upstairs he started putting the bed together so I started unpacking his clothes into his new dresser. We finished just after noon. I changed clothes and then fixed ham and cheese sandwiches. After a quick lunch I cleaned up lunch while Jasper saddled the horses. I had just finished cleaning up when I heard tires crunch on the gravel. I made my way outside to see Esme.

"Bella I'm really sorry. Something came up with a client and I have to get to the airport now. Edward's nowhere to be found and I need someone to take Alice now. I will be gone three days max. Carlisle is on call until the end of the week. Is there any way you can watch her. Jasper rode Ace around the house leading Duce about that time and I said I would. Alice squealed in delight as she leaned toward the horses. I took her from Esme and sat her in front of Jasper. She giggled and babbled happily.

"We were about to go for a ride. Do you mind if Ally rides with us?" I asked her.

"Not as long as you are careful." She smiled.

I swung into my saddle and we set off. I rode beside Jasper as I told him how I had found the trees. Alice wanted to ride with me so Jasper plopped her in front of me. He chuckled when I told him that Duce was my favorite.

"I figured. His temperament reminds me of yours." He said.

"Jasper Whitlock, I don't know whether to take that as a complement or not." I said feigning shock. Jasper was laughing so hard.

"It's a complement!" He said.

"How's that?" I asked dyeing to know how come the horse reminded him of me.

"Well, He's laid back and incredibly sweet. I guess you could say he's a stable horse." He ended with a belly laugh at his attempt at humor.

I shook my head, rolled my eyes and smiled.

"Oh come on that was funny!" He chortled.

"Jasper the only thing funny about that is that you think you are funny." I giggled.

"I'm funny!" He said.

"Looking" I chuckled as he gave me a mock wounded look.

"Ouch!" He smiled. As we rode Alice fell asleep so we headed back to the barn. We rode right up to the house and Jasper swung down and took Ally so I could get down. Then he handed her back and lead the horses back to the barn. I took Ally inside and was surprised when I walked into Alice's room and she had a new bed. I smiled as I laid her down Jasper was such a sucker for his little sister.

I took a shower and dressed in a comfy pair of shorts and a tank top and swept my hair in a messy bun.

Then I took all the laundry to the washer. I would wait to start it until Jasper took his shower. I was standing there in the kitchen making Bacon and Eggs for supper. I know it sounds weird and personally I think it is but Jasper loves breakfast for Supper and with everything he had done for me over the past few days I wanted to do something special for him. I even made him blueberry pancakes. I smiled as I heard him walk into the kitchen.

"Alright! I knew there was a reason I let you stay here!" he teased swiping a strip of bacon.

"Go wash your hands! Better yet, go take your shower. Then we'll eat." I said playfully swatting at his hands. He chuckled and darted off after swiping another piece of bacon. I laughed at his antics.

After his shower I heard Alice wake up. In a few more minutes Jasper came padding into the kitchen doorway carrying Alice. "I think she may have a fever." He said worriedly. About that time Alice threw up all down the front of him. I grabbed a towel and Took Alice to the kitchen sink while Jasper went into the utility room to clean up. I stripped of Alice's clothes and rinsed there off. Then I tossed her clothes in to the utility room floor. "Jaz I'll take care of the clothes just go clean up again." I called as I carried Alice back to her room. I got the medical kit out of her drawer and took her temperature. She was running a 101.8 so I called Carlisle. He said to give her Motrin and retake her temperature in thirty minutes. He also said if we would come and pick it up he would give us some Phenergan Gel for her nausea and vomiting. I redressed Alice wrapped her in a blanket and walked out of her room just as Jasper came up the stairs.

"How is she?" He asked.

"She's ok. I called your dad and he told me to give her some Motrin and for one of us to go to the hospital and pick up some Phenergan gel." I said.

"I'll go!" He said whirling to go back down the stairs.

"Uh… Jaz?" I said.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Are you going to go in your boxers?" I chuckled.

He blushed and sprinted to his room. He had been so worried about Alice that he didn't even realize that he was standing there talking to me in his underwear. I bit back a giggle at his embarrassment. I carried Alice down stairs and started rocking her. Jasper came back down stairs and asked, "Sorry! I wasn't thinking. Do we need anything else?"

"Jaz, it's not like you were running around in your birthday suit. We need some Pedialyte." I said.

"I'll see ya when I get back." He said softly so he wouldn't wake Alice as he started to leave. Alice chose right then to throw up again. It was everywhere. Jasper started to help clean it up when I said, "I got this. The sooner we get her medicine the sooner she stops." Shooing him out the door.

I took Alice to the upstairs bathroom and stripped us both and stepped in the shower. Once we were clean I wrapped her on a towel and myself in my bathrobe and then headed into her room to dress her. I grabbed a blanket sleeper and quickly put it on her and wrapped her in another blanket. I propped her in the other recliner and set to work cleaning up the mess but Alice stared to cry. So I picked her up and rocked her again. Jasper came home and he gave her some Phenergan. Jasper finished cleaning up and gathered all the laundry and started a load. Alice began to howl as I tried to pass her off to Jasper so I could get dressed. So I sat back down. She reached for Jasper and cried harder so I tried again to pass her off again. She clutched my robe in one hand and Jasper's shirt with the other and refused to let go then quit crying. So Jasper and I both ended up sitting on the couch because we were both wrapped around her finger. She sat so that she was on both of us.

Jasper started singing a soft lullaby to her as he rubbed soothing circles on her back. I was mesmerized by his voice. I leaned my head back against the couch and remembered the time I had heard him sing that song to me.

_It was a warm summer night and I was nine. Our dad's had took us camping and were night fishing. I woke up and Jasper and I were alone in the tent. I sat up and was scared. Jasper heard me sobbing and pulled me into a hug. _

_ "Bells are you hurt?" he asked groggily._

_ "No, I just can't find dad." I sobbed. _

_ "They are fishing right there outside the tent." He soothed as he opened the flap so I could see our dad's standing a few yards away with their fishing pole._

_ "Ok." I had sniffled as he zipped us back in the tent._

_ "Hey, its ok, Bells. Come here. I'll always be here for you." He said as he freed his arms from his sleeping bag and gently pulled me into his side. He sang to me that night until I fell asleep and I woke the next morning still locked in his protective embrace._

I looked over at him when Alice was asleep and said, "Thank you!"

"For what Bells!" He asked confused.

"For always being there for me!" I said.

"Anytime Bells." He smiled and gave me a one armed hug.

"What brought that on?" he asked.

"The lullaby! I remember a camping trip when you sang it to me." I said.

"Oh, yeah! I remember that night. You were so scared. It made me sad to see you so upset." He said softly.

"You know, I don't have a single memory of anyone else comforting me beside you." I realized out loud, "You have always been there for me."

"And I always will be!" He said. His eyes held so much honesty that I knew he truly meant every word.

He reached over and grabbed the remote and turned on the third Leprechaun movie and we sat and watched the movie with Jasper of course giving me a hard time about when we were kids. After the movie Alice had loosened her grip on me so Jasper took her to bed and I went to change. I come back down stairs and found Jasper in the utility room putting the clothes in the dryer! I smiled and stood there watching him.

"What? I just thought I would do this for you so you could relax a bit." He said, seeing the shock of my face he continued, "Have you never had someone just take care of you?"

"You used to." I said quietly.

"Bella, I live here to and I will do my share. There is no reason for you to have to do everything. I will take over that laundry while I am here and also feeding the chickens and gathering the eggs and anything else that needs done." He said firmly.

"Jaz you don't have to!" I started.

"I know but I want to lighten your daily chore load!" He insisted.

"You're pretty great! You know that?" I said.

"I am pretty great aren't I?" He teased. I hugged him around the waist and he put his arms around me and said with his deep southern accent pouring out, "you're pretty amazing yourself, Darlin'!" Well that's new he's never called me Darlin' before. Just then I realized that I had held on just a little to long for a friend hug and broke away.

I was starting to have a stirring of feelings for Jasper that were more affectionate and less friendship. I had to keep those feelings reigned in. I could ruin our friendship if I wasn't careful. If he ever knew what I felt for him it would make him uncomfortable around me.

"Well it's late! I think I'll call it a night!" I said awkwardly giving him one final squeeze. I saw a strange look cross Jaspers face but he said nothing. I fled to my bedroom. Way to go Bella! Real smooth! I chided myself. That night I lay awake terrified I had ruined everything.

Jasper's POV

I stood stunned I couldn't believe I had slipped and called her that! I had always dreamed of calling her that but it slipped out. By the way she ran away from me I knew I had messed things up. I sat in the living room watching the ceiling listing to Bella move around just above me. I couldn't believe how incredibly stupid I was. Calling her Darlin' what a moron! I scolded myself. I wanted to go talk to her but I fear it would make things worse so I sat here on the couch kicking myself for my slip. I sat up most of the night and was awakened the next morning be the sound of Alice and Bella in the Kitchen. Bella had covered me up at some point and pushed me over so I was lying on her couch. I could smell coffee and pancakes. I walked into the kitchen where Bella had Alice in her highchair and had given her a peach she had smashed and a bowl of oatmeal. Alice was mimicking Bella stirring and was making quiet a mess. I walked in and grabbed a cup of coffee.

"Good Morning Jaz!" she said cautiously.

"Morning Bells!" I said back hoping I sounded casual.

I hopped up on the island and laughed at Alice stirring her oatmeal. Bella smiled and chuckled, "Morning Jaz! I think she is enjoying that!" acting as if nothing had happened but I knew her well enough to notice the appraising side long glance I got. She was checking to see how I was, discretely!

"I saw that!" I grinned.

"What?" she asked sheepishly.

"You were checking me out." I teased testing the waters a bit.

"What are you talking about?" She asked innocently with a slow blush burning at her cheeks.

"I was just playing!" I said delighted at seeing that oh-crap-I got-caught look on her face. She had feelings for me too. I may be able to tell her how I feel soon. I definitely wanted to tell her before I left for school again. I had made the mistake of letting her get away before and it was a painful mistake. One I wasn't willing to make again. I was relieved every time she accidentally let her feelings slip through. I had loved her for so long!

The rest of the three days went by very quickly Esme had sent Carlisle to get Alice. When Bella and I were alone so I suggested we go for a ride. I had noticed how carefree she was when we rode. She forgot about all the drama in her life and was truly happy. I had talked to Harry about buying a horse for Bella and he was helping me look. I had taken a picture of the mural of the horse and rider carrying the princess off and showed it to him. I was looking for a horse worthy of a princess. He found one in an auction on the 4th of July. It was a giant silvery gray gelding with odd heart shaped dapple spots, he a small white star on his forehead and giant feathery feet. Harry offered to go for me and I gratefully took him up on it. Harry knew the owner so he called in a favor and he wasn't actually going through the sale ring. I bought and paid for him and Harry was going to pick up the gentle giant. I couldn't wait to see Bella's face. The horse in the Mural was a silvery gray too. I sketched a colored drawing adding some of the details that her new horse, Diesel, had. I couldn't wait to give her the horse. I was ecstatic that after a hard day that I could make it a little easier! I watched as Bells pulled the saddle from Duce and meticulously brushed him out. I grabbed her saddle and carried both mine and hers to the barn. After both horses were groomed and put up we fed the chickens and gathered the eggs.

Bella's POV

My cellphone rang just as Jasper and I came in from riding and gathering the eggs. I had my hands full so Jasper answered it while I continued to the kitchen to wash and put away the eggs.

"Hey Bells, Mom wants to know, what are you bringing to the 4th of July party?" Jasper called.

"I can send whatever she needs with you but I'm not going to make it this year." I called back, not only was Edward going to be there with a date, it was also would have been our 1st anniversary. I wasn't in the mood to celebrate this year. In fact as soon as Jasper left for the party I planned to get into my pjs and have a movie marathon/ pity party.

"Mom, I'll call you back!" I heard him say as he rounded the corner pulling me into a hug, "I almost forgot Last year's party. Do you want to talk?" He asked still holding me tight.

"He'll be there with her." I said quietly. I felt his body tense then he did something I never expected. He scooped me into his arms and carried me into the living room where he sat down on the couch still cradling me. I pressed my face into the crook of his neck taking refuge in the comfort that he was providing.

"We'll have our own party!" He murmured softly.

"Jaz, you should go! Esme and Carlisle will want to see you." I said raising my head to look him in the eye, "You will be leaving for college again soon. Edward is your Brother and you haven't spent much time with him. He's your family!"

"Bella! You were the first person to ever give a damn about me! Dad worked constantly to escape Victoria. Victoria I'm pretty sure resented the fact that I was a boy. Bree was so little and wrapped up in pleasing mom. There was only you! You were the one I poured my heart out to. You were the one that held me when I cried. Bells you are the only person who has ever seen me completely break that has never walked away." He said meeting my gaze, "Bella there are so many feelings stirring around in me right now! So much I want to say but I have been afraid too. One day..." He started. Was he serious! I think I know what he wants to say but I can't be sure so I interrupted him.

"Jaz, Please tell me! I think I know what it is and feelings are not just on your end." I said for the first time in my life throwing caution to the wind and being true to myself.

Jasper sat stunned in silence then finally he said the most beautiful words that I believe I have ever heard, "Bella, I have loved you for so long! Even when I had no right to want you I did. Part of me wanted to tell you before you married Edward but I knew I shouldn't. I realized I was in love with you that first year of college. I wanted to tell you so badly but that wouldn't have been fair to you! When you are me what was wrong and I told you I missed home, it was only partly true. I didn't miss home I missed you. I wanted you to be mine so badly but you weren't mine. So I waited praying selfishly for a chance to tell you!" He blurted out.

Tears steamed my eyes as I engulfed him in to a tight hug. There was nowhere else on the planet that I wanted to be. I held him as tightly as he held me. I knew when I started dating Edward that I was settling for second best. I had always had a thing for Jasper but I always kept it at bay because I thought there was no way that he could ever feel the same way about me as I did about him, "If you would have told me I would have ended it with him that very second." I said.

He leaned me back so he could see my face, "I love you Bells! There's never been another that I have been in love with! It's always been you!" I was overwhelmed at the thought that Jasper loved me. Tears of joy flowed down my cheeks like rain, I felt like my chest was going to explode and I hoarsely whispered, "I love you too."

"Hey! Why are you crying Bells! It's ok!" He soothed.

"You don't know how often I have thought about hearing you say those words to me. I never thought I would! When we were younger I dreamed of you. You were all I wanted but then I had to give up on that dream thinking it was dead. Now here it is." I sobbed like a blubbering idiot. Jasper reached up and kissed away the tears. "I love you Bells!" He sighed against my cheek.

"I love you too Jasper!" I breathed back.

"I always have and always will!" Jasper murmured pulling me to his chest. I lay there listening to the beat of his heart for what seemed like minutes but when Jasper's phone rang an hour had passed. He still held me as the answered.

"Hey, Mom!" He said. He paused and then said, "Well, Bella and I aren't going to make it to the party this year!" I could hear her lecturing him then he said, "Not everything is about Edward!… I really don't care!…Mom, I am taking Bella to a horse sale." I caught sight of the flyer on the coffee table that was in fact for a 4th of July sale at 9 in the morning and one of the horses where circled. It looked just like the one in the mural on my wall. "No don't… Hi Edward! …because that's the day of the sale… Bella is coming with me!… Well, that's just too damn bad!… What do you care? You'll have her with you anyway….So you ended it with her…Well She's going with me… No Edward she's not yours! You saw to that!… I gotta go!…" and then he hung up on Edward and turned his phone off.

"Well I guess I should ask you if you want to go to a horse sale with me. I was going to send Harry because I thought you were going to the party. Now that you aren't going I'm going to go pick up your horse myself. Do you want to come with me?" he asked not realizing his slip.

"Jaz, you just said my horse. What did you do?" I asked shifting to look up at him.

He smiled a guilty smile and shifted to grab his drawing pad that he had hid from me for days. "I bought your dream horse. I took a picture of the mural in your room at your dad's house and then started sketching it. I have the horse, the prince, and part of the princess done. I changed the position of the horse so that I could draw his face. The prince is still looking at the princess but the princess needs a face. I have been trying to sketch yours but you are never still long enough."

"Well, I'm still now." I said sliding off his lap.

He started sketching and 20 minutes later his picture was flawless. I was in awe! I loved the way that it looked. The prince had blond curls like Jasper's. I smiled at the thought but was afraid to believe it would last. I reached up and grabbed his shoulders and pulled myself onto his lap again and kissed him softly.

There was a knock on the door and we could see that it was Edward. We could see his face pressed against the glass door. He then started pounding harder. I looked at Jasper as I slid off of his lap so he could go answer the door. I sat there shocked for a second and then followed Jasper to the door.

Jasper's POV

I opened the door and side stepped Edward's right hook. I turned just in time to see his fist connect with Bella's temple. Bella fell back and hit her head on the corner of the marble entrée way table before falling face first to the floor. It must have broken the skin because I could see blood on the edge of the table so I scooped her into my arms and carried her to the couch. I was livid but Bella came first. I laid her down and turned to get her some ice but Edward was standing there with a bag of frozen peas. I snatched them and gently pressed them to her face and was worried although her eyes where opened she was not really here.

"Is she alright!" Edward asked.

"No!" I growled as I fished out my phone to call dad. I told dad that Bella had been hit in the face and then she hit her head on a marble table and he said to 'get her to the hospital now.'

I scooped her up and Edward got the door then ran ahead to his car and opened the passenger's side door. I slid in still cradling Bella. He sprinted around the car and drove us hurriedly to the hospital. Bella's dad met us when we walked in and Edward's little plaything was in the ER with the Dad and Dr. Call. I laid Bella on the bed and turned to Edward, "You need to get her outta here, now!"

Charlie and I stood at the head of her bed to stay out of the way. Dr. Call and dad took care of her. I was too focused on Bella to hear dad's questions. They finally moved her into a private room and said that they wouldn't know how she was until she woke up. Charlie had to go do some paper work so I was left alone with my sleeping angel. No one had asked what happened yet. Everyone was too worried about her. I sat there stewing when my mom came in and handed me her keys. "Jaz, why don't you go pack an overnight bag. I'll stay with her until you get back. You have blood all over you and you don't want to scare her when she wakes up."

"Thanks mom!" I said before bending down to kiss Bella on the forehead and whispering, "I'll be right back, Darlin'"

I sprinted to the car and drove like a mad man to get home. I changed clothes and stopped off in Bella's room to grab her favorite pjs, a change of clothes for her and her pillow, on my way out I walked past my sketch pad and grabbed that and the box I kept me pencils in and put everything in it except for the sketch pad. I drove back to the hospital a little slower but not much. When I came in to the room Edward was sitting at Bella's bed side across from mom and my blood boiled!

I took a deep breath and asked, "Has there been any change?"

"No, Dr. Call has ordered a CT scan to make sure there's no bleeding inside her brain." Edward croaked about the time that a team of medical staff came in. They transferred her on to a stretcher and I cringed as she grimaced in pain and then she was gone. Charlie, Emmett, and dad came filing into the room followed by Rosalie who was carrying Alice.


	4. Chapter 4

JUST WHEN I THOUGHT MY WORLD WOULD END

Memories and dreams are in _italics_

Jasper's POV

Dad cleared his throat looking between Edward and I then asked, "What happened to Bella? She has bruising the shape of a fist on her face. Who hit her!"

"It was meant for Jasper, not her!" Edward exclaimed as if that made it better.

"If I had known she was behind me I would have just taken the punch. I side stepped out of the way before I realized and that put her in line with his fist." I said in a voice tight with emotion with tears welling in my eyes putting my head in my hands.

"I would never hurt, Bella! I wanted to rip you a new one! She was sitting practically on top of you. You were talking about a horse you bought her. You kissed her. Jasper, you're stealing my wife!" Edward started yelling at me only to be interrupted by Charlie.

"Get out of here! If I ever catch you anywhere near my daughter again this gun hanging on my hip won't be just be for show!" He growled out his warning.

"I'll be in the cafeteria. Let me know if there's a change!" He demanded as he stormed out. Charlie called the station telling them to arrest Edward for assault and battery.

I walked up to Charlie and said miserably, "I'm so sorry! If I had known…"

"Jasper, it wasn't your fault!" the next thing he said shocked me, "You are everything I ever hoped that my daughter would find in a man. I knew you two would eventually realize your feelings. I'm happy you found each other! She deserves a man like you!"

"Thank you, Sir!" I said then I noticed Esme edging toward the door.

Charlie stepped in front of door and growled at her, "You're not tipping him off!" Esme stepped back to Carlisle and sobbed into his chest. When Charlie got the call that they had arrested Edward he stepped out of the way. My parents quickly left the room undoubtedly to go see if they could bail Edward out. I sagged against a chair and then I realized that I wasn't alone.

I tossed my keys to Emmett, "Y'all can stay at the house while you are here. I have a feeling Mom and Dad will be too busy to take Alice for a while. She has a room set up there. Y'all look beat! Why don't you go get some rest?"

"Do you need anything?" Emmett asked.

"When you come back to the hospital can you bring my truck to me?" I asked.

"Sure thing! Hey Jaz? She's gona be alright!" Emmett said as they left.

Charlie called in to work to tell them he wouldn't be there and after promising to keep them updated hung up.

We sat in her room waiting for them to bring her back when Harry came in, "Hello, Charlie, Jasper! I hope you don't mind my being here. Jasper, I was there at your house feeding the horses when you ran out carrying Bella. I had to know if she was alright! I like to think if my daughter would have survived that she would have been just like Bella" Charlie nodded but couldn't speak.

"They aren't telling us much other than to wait and see, Harry! She won't wake up. I can't lose her!" I choked out.

Harry pulled a chair up beside me and laid a comforting hand on my shoulder and started to pray. I quietly bowed my head ashamed that we hadn't thought of prayer sooner. We prayed until they brought Bella back. The three of us moved back out of the way so they could get Bella situated on the bed and then went back to sitting at her bedside. She still seemed to be sleeping. The swelling in her face was worse than before.

"There is a great deal of swelling in her brain. We are going to keep the lights off, we are going to limit her visitors to two at a time, I want things as calm as possible in here. The less stimulation she has the better. We will do another scar tomorrow morning to keep an eye on the swelling. Charlie here's the medical records you asked for and my written statement for your report." said Dr. Call handing Charlie a file.

"Jasper, I'm going to see to this personally. If there is any change, please let me know!" Charlie said leaving me.

"Jasper, I know it's not much but I will feed Bella's Chickens while you all are here. If you need anything all you have to do is ask." Harry said before he left.

That left Dr Call and I standing there.

"What can I do? Is it ok to hold her hand? Or sing her favorite lullaby? What do I do?" I asked in a small voice that sounded even to me like a scared little boy.

"Jasper right now we want her brain to rest. Any sound or touch right now will cause her brain to try and process what it is. So right now just be there. If she gets agitated try holding her hand or singing her lullaby and press the call button. I know this is difficult." He said moving the recliner next to her bed for me. He squeezed my shoulder and then he was gone. I grabbed my sketch pad and pencils and settled into the recliner.

I started sketching Bella from memory at the Bluffs. I sketched her swinging from the rope after she had just turned loose. _I remembered in vivid detail the sight that had burned into my brain that day. Her hair clip got stolen (by me) just as she swung out and her hair sprung free blowing in the gentle breeze wrapping around her shoulders. She was wearing a tiny little white bikini with a pair of cut-off jeans. The surprise of me stealing her clip still evident in her face and it was adorable. That day there were huge fluffy clouds in the baby blue sky and for a second it looked as though she was floating on one of them. My name had just been squealed from her lips and her eyes sparkled with mischief and she giggled "Pay backs a bitch Jaz!" I had laughed as she splashed into the clear blue pool below her. I was slightly disappointed that her tiny little white bikini top was too thick to be see through and silently cursed the manufacturer until I realized I wasn't the only one looking disappointed then I was grateful to them. She turn to me still threatening me. I grabbed the rope and swung down doing a cannon ball effectively splashing water all over her again. She dunked me under the water and tried to swim away but I wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her under with me. When we came up we stared at each other and there was a strange emotion that stirred within me. I was such a fool back then. I didn't realize that I loved her. I released her and she swam away. That was the day before she met Edward. I did realize that night that I wanted her and was going to find her when I saw her sitting with Edward. He beat me to asking her to be mine and so I had to deal with that fact that I waited too late. _

I was snapped out of my memory by a stern nurse. She gave me the evil eye while she checked all of the monitors and tubes hooked up to Bella. I rose and followed her to the door.

"Ma'am, Is she doing alright?" I asked hopefully.

"About the same. She's Edward's wife right!" She clipped trying to remind me of who Bella 'belonged' to.

'well then, Nurse Ratchet! You must be the head of the Edward's fan club.' I wanted to say but Instead I said, "No ma'am! They are divorced, he's dating Dr. Cullen's intern now." I sniped back.

"Well, I hadn't heard that! So Edward is the ex that did this to her?" she was shocked as she walked away.

I probably should have told her the whole story be I wasn't going to chase her down. Besides I wanted to get back to Bella. I finished my sketch and turned the page.

What to sketch next. Oh I know! I started sketching Bella lying on the porch swing at her dad's with her knees bent and her feet in the air reading a book. I had gone over to sit in the chair beside her with my sketch pad. She had no idea I had sketched her. I sprinkled her face with freckles and added the detail of her braid. I recall she read Treasure Island aloud to me that day. I had closed my eyes and let her voice draw me into the story.

I continued to day dream until I fell asleep. _I started dreaming of Bella and my talk. I was over the moon when she said she shared my feelings. Then the dream turned dark and ominous. This time Edward didn't knock he busted in and dragged Bella away. I chase him but it was as though I was running through quicksand and I couldn't catch him. I could here Bella's frightened voice screaming for me to help her but they had diappeared and I couldn't find them_. I awoke in a panick and gasping for air. I scared the poor nurse's aid who was standing between Bella and I to death. I followed her to the door.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you. I was having a nightmare." I said.

"I shouldn't have been being nosey. I saw your sketch and wanted to see more. She is beautiful." She said motioning to Bella.

"Yes she is!" I replied. I looked at the clock and realized that the sun must be rising. I remember Bella saying once that sunrise was her favorite time of the day. I snapped a quick picture with my phone held behind the curtain then sat back down and started sketching again this time I pulled out my colored pencils and set to work on today's sunrise. By the time I had finished it Charlie popped in with a muffin and coffee.

"How is she?" He whispered

The same. She hasn't moved all night. I remember from all the camping trips she's a crazy sleeper that worries me." I whispered back.

"Has Dr. Call been in yet? He's out there." He whispered.

"Not yet." I whispered back.

As if on cue Dr. Call entered the room. He checked the monitors and then came to us. In a hushed tone he said, "I know I said we would do another scan this morning but there has been little if any change I am scheduling her for noon. No change isn't terrible news at least she isn't worse." before leaving. Charlie and I sat in silence he reading a book and I busy sketching memories of Bella.

I am currently sketching Bella riding an appaloosa gelding in a stream. The horse was pawing at the water and droplets of water where going everywhere. She had thrown her head back and was laughing. I smiled as the memory came flooding back. _We were on a camping trip and it had been one that our dad's had leased a couple of horses. She fell in love with the brown horse with a white blanketed rump. She rode him bareback into the water. He began pawing at the water and splashing her. She giggled hystariccally but then laid down with her in the stream. She was waist deep in water still sitting on the horse. She tried to coax his to get up but he was content to lay there and splash in the water with his nose. She ruined her favorite white keds that day leading that horse out of the muddy stream. I had laughed so hard I cried. She was so mad at me for laughing at her. _

At noon they came and got Bella to take here for her scans. They told us in would be at least a couple hours before she was back so Charlie insisted I go with him to eat.

"So, I noticed you sitting there grinning as you are drawing. What are you drawing that makes you so happy?" he asked me.

"I have been stetching a few memories that I have of Bella. . I have sketched her swinging from the rope at the Bluff's, riding that little appaloosa in a stream. You remember him, don't you?" I chuckled.

"Yep! He cost me a new pair of shoes but she still loved him." He grinned.

When we returned to the hospital we still had atleast a half hour before Bella woud be back so I showed Charlie tha sketches. We remanissed about the times we had with Bella. It helped to think of her in a different time and place, a time before Edward and all of the crap he pulled. We lapsed into scilence as they brought Bella back in.

Then Dr. Call came in and told us, "The swelling has reduced dramatically and so now there is just slight swelling in Bella's brain. We still won't know if there is any permanent damage until she wakes up. There are a few other tests I woud like to run tomorrow. She can have a few visitors now." Looking at me with a smile, "You may hold her hand and sing to her as much as you like now." Then to both of us, "I will be back to check on her in the morning." Charlie and I both spent the night this time.

Emmett and Rosalie visited at Alice's nap time. No one wanted Alice to see Bella like this because it would probably scare her. Emmett couldn't bare to look at Bella, tears welled in his eyes as he saw the swelling in her face and all of the monitors she was hooked up to. I knew the feeling. It still upset me to see her this way but She needed me to be strong and so here I am. I sat Emmett down in my chair that was positioned so that it was facing her just aimed away from her face and all the tubes and wires and sat in the widow sill.

It was so heart rending to see his reaction. He leaned forward to take her hand then rested his forehead on their joined hands and cried scilently. This huge former high school football jock was reduced to a weeping little boy. I had held it together for her all this time. If I watched this much longer I would be in the same boat as Emmett. I grabbed my sketch pad and started flipping through it. Then another memory can to the forefront of my mind.

_"Jaz?" Bella was calling. I just wanted to be alone and wallow in my misery. When I hugged my mom goodbye she had told me to be good for Dad and that she would always love me although she couldn't be there for me. I knew right then that that was the last time I would see my mother and my sister._

_ "Jaz, please?" she called again still searching for me._

_I reluctantly called, "Up here, Bells"_

_ She climbed up in the ricketty treehouse we were told to stay out of and scooted over next to me. She wrapped her armms around my neck and I scooped her into my lap and wrapped mine around her. We cried together each of us knowing that Mom and Bree would never return. I remember humming her lullaby trying desparatly to comfort us both. We stayed in the treehouse all day until her dd came home. Charlie was watching me that night because dad had to work at the hospital. I rememer hearing her muffled sobs through the wall that night. I had crept into her room she met me half way to her bed and we crumpeled to the floor and we cried together sitting in her floor until we both fell asleep. _

"Jaz, are you ok?" Rosalie ask me laying a hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah, just walking down memory lane. Some times it isn't pleasant." I said wiping the tears off me face.

"Can I get you anything?" Sha asked sitting beside my.

"No. Thanks though." I said softly.

"Hey, is that Bella's mural?" She asked taking my sketch pad.

"Sort of. I updated it. I put her and her new horse in it." I said.

"What a horse?" Emmett asked coming over to us.

"I bought her a horse. He will be here July 4th. I have seen pictures of him. Bella's going to love him." I mused.

"Are you not going to th 4th of July party?" Emmmett asked.

"We weren't. Edward was bringing a date so Bella was staying home. I had opted to take her with me to get him. That's what started this whole mess. Esme threw a fit and then Edward got mad. He started yelling at me over the phone so I hung up. I wish I had just listened to him. Maybe then she would be ok." I hung my head.

"Jasper," Charlie said sternly, "This is not your fault. You would never hurt her even if it means hurting yourself. Don't think I didn't notice that! She will kick your ass if you even try to take the blame."

I walked over and sunk into my chair and picked up Bella's hand, "She probably would."

Esme and Carlisle stepped meekly through the door, "How is she?" Esme whispered coming toward me. She gasp when she saw Bella, her hand flew to her mouth, "Oh my God!" tears filled her eyes. She stood frozen dad pulled her into his arms and held her while she fell apart. He guided her out of the room in to the hall.

Emmett and Rosalie left just before Alice woke up and Charlie got a call from the station that they either had to charge Edward or let him go. So he went to the station with my statement to charge my brother with assault. I was left alone with Bella. I sat holding her hand and talking ot her until Harry came in.

"How are you holding up?" He asked his voice laced with concern.

"Honestly, I can't think about it. I think if I did I would fall apart." I said.

"I see you trying to be there to comfort everyone and rallying around Bella and that is great but you need someone to lean on?"he asked.

I said, "Harry I'm fine. I will have me support system back when Bella wakes up. I'll be fine."

"Jasper, I'm here for you if you will let me be. I see that you are extremely careful about who you let your guard down with. Bella's the only person you trust fully. I suspect you have been hurt deeply in your young life by someone you trusted. If you need anything let me know." He said looking at me with eyes full of kindness.

"I appriciate that Harry! I'll keep that in mind." I said. He saw just as much as Bella did. I wanted to trust him and I did concider him a friend but I was afraid. The only two people I had trusted besides Bella was my mother and Lord knows that didn't turn out so great and dad. Dad meant well but I wasn't high on his priority list. He had the hospital, Esme and her priorities a,d then me. I just couldn't trust him to show up and be there when I needed him.

**Harry POV (**I just feel he has a little insight. )

"I know I'm gona have to earn your trust, Son." I said gently laying a hand on Jasper's shoulder. I sat quietly watching his inner turmoil. Form the first day I ever saw Jasper I could see that pain that he carried and admired the inner stregnth he possessed. I saw myself in him and I wanted to help him let go of his pain. I had heard years ago that the boy's mother had ran off with his little sister. I am sure that left a mark.

It bothered me that his father wasn't here with him. I was appalled that while his father was trying to help that other kid it seemed Jasper was left alone. I had come to care for Jasper and Bella as if they were my own. I never dreamed that I would ever feel that was again after I lost Sue and Leah.

He leaned in to her and softly started to hum the lullabye to Bella while cradling her hand. I had noticed him doing that yesterday too. When the stress was too much for him he would take her hand and began to sing or hum. I watched as he regained his composure and began calming down. It seemed he was drawing comfort and strength from her still.

I watched her and noticed that she seemed more peace with his touch. I saw the love in everything he did for her he was so mindful of her.

"I can't lose her!" he whispered miserably to me.

I laid my hand back on his shoulder and kept silent. I know form experience that when greif is the freshest words should be the fewest. I remember the phrases that made unset me the most. "It's in God's hands now" I knew it was in God's hands it did little to comfort me, then after Sue, my wife, had died they had said, "She's in a better place" I knew that too but it didn't make me feel better either because that place wasn't by my side. So I just offered support. I had already let him know I was here if he needed someone but I wnt going to push him.

I sat with him until visiting hours were over and then I had to leave. I turned to take one last look at the young man sitting vigil st his soul-mates bedside.

Jasper's POV

Charlie didn't make it back that evening. Apparently Edward had call his dad, a hot-shot lawyer. Aparently he made some derogitory remark to Esme and Dad just about can unglued. Charlie had a rough day of playing referee and had to be back at the station early in the morning to do it all again. I sat and watched Bella's chest rise and fall until I dosed off. I had nightmares all night long. Nurse Rachet as I had thought of her was still stern and gave me looks of diapproval any time she entered the room. I was gratful for the morning the nurse's aid brought me some coffee at the end of her shift.

"You look beat!" She said, "If you will recline that chair you will be more comfortable."

"Thanks! It's not that I am uncomfortable…" I started.

"It's the nightmares isn't it." She said symathetically.

"How…" I asked and again she interupted me.

"You twitch and grimace in your sleed. You break into a sweat and gasp for breath. I'm surprised you don't wake up shouting. I have woke you several times during your nightmares." She answered.

"What's with Nurse Ratchet? Is she a member of the Edward Cullen fan club?" I asked.

"She's the president actually. Although she knows what happened she "_still just cm't believe a sweet guy like Edward would ever do anything like that"_. She thinks he was framed." She chuckled, "I'm back on tonight at 7. I'm Charlotte if you need any thing let me know. I know how hard it is to be in your shoes. Three years ago I almost lost my husband Peter. I'll see ya tonight. Hopefully Bella will be awake. I would love to meet her." She was barely out the door when Harry and Dr. Call came in.

"Good Morning Jasper! We are going to take her down and run another a series of tests this morning. She souldn't be gone but about a half hour. Harry and I sat making small talk. He had brought us breakfast, coffee, and orange juice from the diner. As we ate I told Harry about this morning. He chuckled. As we finished breakfast they brought Bella back. Her face was drawn and she was wearing a frown. The vein in her forhead that stood out when she was upset was bulging, she had a new IV site and there was blood on her gown. We stepped into the hall while the nurse changed her into a fresh gown.

My nerves frayed with every passing second. I could feel Harry's hand on my shoulder and heard him murmer, "Just breath, Jasper."

When we went back in Dr. Call said, "She woke up and called out for, 'Jaz' and seemed to be reaching for something. She ripped her IV out she was so agitated we had to sedate her. She should be awake in a few hours. Do you know what she was talking about?"

"She was looking for me?" I croaked miserably. She was upset and looking for me. Did she know I was here?

Harry replaced his hand on my shoulder supportively, "She woke up! That's a good sign!" and I clung to that statement.

Harry sat with us until supper time and then told me would come check on Bella in the morning. I walked him to the door and then came to sit at Bella's bedside holding her hand. I sat back down and held her hand and talked to her. When the nurse came in to reposition her I moved away from the bed. Bella began to breathe heavily and whimper.

"Is she in pain?" I asked anxiously.

"I'm sure her head hurts but we can't give her anything else." The nurse said.

"Jaz!" Bella whimpered.

That was all it took, I was in the bed beside her despite the look of disapproval from Nurse Ratchet.

"I'm here Bells! Shhh, Darlin'! I'm right here!" I said as I gently cradled her to me so tht her head was lying on my chest and then I sang her the lullaby that had calmed her when we were kids. Her breathing started returning to normal and she then she totally relaxed. The nurse looked amazed, "I never would have thought. That's what she did in the image lab when they had to sedate her only it escalated to her ripping her IV out and trying to sit up. You must be the Jaz she was trying to find."

"Yeah, I'm her Jaz!" I said as she slipped out of the room. I sang to Bella until I could tell she was sound asleep and then I gently laid her on her pillow and moved back to my chair. I was about to doze off when mom and dad came in. Mom saw Bella she began to sob as she sunk into a chair. It hurt to look at Bella, her nose had been broken during the fall and her eyes had swollen shut and purple, her bottom lip was busted and bruised badly and then there was the huge purple fist print over her left temple. It was the first time since her arrival at the hospital that I really looked at her injuries. I felt my heart shatter and tears rolled down my cheeks.

"I just don't believe it. Edward loves her he wouldn't hurt her on porpose. You have to know that Jaz! Don't be angry with…" She began.

"Don't you dare finish that sentence." I growled glaring at the woman that I consider my mother.

Dad smiled sadly and said, "She's had a rough night. Edward has called his father. She had to deal with Aro. He's causing problems. Charlie came in and charged Edward with assault and battery and told Edward if she died he would go down for murder. Esme is so worried about her." 'Yeah I thought that's why she spent all that time with Edward.' I wanted to say.

"How is she?" Esme asked.

"Don't worry! Edward will escape the murder wrap." I ground out not bothering to hide the pure disdain in my voice.

"That's not what she was meaning." Dad said.

"It seems to me that your priorities are a little screwed up. You spent all this time with _him_ and _he _is the one who caused this. While she has been laying here all this time. You even let him sit at her bed side." I hissed keeping my voice down. There was a knock at the door and Aro poked his head in, "How's she doing?" he asked entering.

"Get out!" I hissed flying to the doorway..

"My son asked me to check on her!" Aro insisted trying to get around me but I didn't budge. I watched with a sense of satisfaction as his face paled at the sight of Bella. She looked so lifeless lying there sound asleep and I wasn't about to give anyone any piece of mind. Carlisle had obviously not been the nurses' station because he was just as panicky as everyone else. I backed Aro out of the room and told the nurses sitting at the nurse's station "This man is an attorney for her attacker. He is poking around trying to get information about her condition. He is not to be allowed in Bella's room and is not to be given any information. He is her ex-husband's father!" I said as I closed the door in his face. My parents had a look of shock on their face as I all but tossed the greasy slime ball out of Bella's room.

"It's best to keep things quiet, now! I told Charlie I would stay. You should probably go." I said angrily.

"Son, I…" My mom started.

"Esme! I can't do this right now! I need to hold it together and stay calm for her and I am a hairs breath from losing my cool with you right now. I'm not trying to be mean. I just feel like the only reason you are here is to gather information that will help Edward. I may be wrong but right now it's hard to be rational. I am pissed! I want to rip Edward apart! I am mad at myself for thinking of him as my little brother and not just beating the living shit out of him when he came at me at the farm. Bella wouldn't be lying there covered in bruises! You tell that piece of shit to stay off my land and away from Bella and me. Next time, I WILL put his sorry ass on the ground! I need you all to go, so I don't do anything else that I will regret later." I said as they quietly left. The sight on my mother in tears tugged at my heart a little but I just couldn't deal with her right now. After everyone had gone I sunk into the chair beside Bella's bed and fell asleep. I was awakened be soft streams of sunlight streaking muted through the curtains. Bella was restless so I began singing her lullaby again while holding her hand.

"Jaz?" Bella called out weakly.

"I'm here, Bells!" I said instantly coming to sit on the side of the bed.

"Good!" She said tugging at my shirt. I lay down beside her and she snuggled into my side laying her head on my chest, "Jaz, I can't open my eyes! What happened?" she trilled slightly panicked.

"They are swollen shut, Darlin'" I drawled.

"Oh." She said.

"What do you remember?" I asked hoping that she hadn't forgotten our talk.

"Who else is in here?" She asked.

"Just you and me." I replied.

"I remember you telling me that you loved me." She smiled and kissed my chest just above my heart, "I remember Edward at the door, he was angry, he tried to hit you but didn't and then I don't know." she said, "What happened, Jaz?"

"I didn't realize you were behind me. I stepped out of Edward's range. Bella, if I had known you were behind me I would have taken that punch but I didn't so instead of hitting me, he hit you. You fell back and hit your head so hard on the marble table by the door then your face hit the floor. Bells I'm so sorry!" my voice trembled I was fighting for the strength not to lose it until she took my hand and everything else melted away except my love for her.

"Edward did this," She said in a stronger voice, "Not you! How bad is it?"

"You had swelling in your brain, your face is badly bruised, your nose is broken, your eyes are swollen shut and purple, your bottom lip is busted. I'm so relieved that you are ok!" I said softly caressing her face careful not to touch any part that was bruised. "I need to let someone know you're awake."

"Just give me one more minute alone with you." She said raising up in an attempt to kiss me. I gently brushed my lips across her bruised lips as I pushed the button to call a nurse.

Nurse ratchet came in and asked, "Did you need something?"

"I was just letting you know that Bella is awake." I said.

"I'll get Dr. Call" She said practically ran out of the room.

I moved to the chair beside Bella's bed and called her dad, Harry, and out to the farm to let Emmett know not bothering to call mom and dad. Charlie said he was on his way and Emmett said he and Rosalie would come in the morning when Alice woke up.

Bella tugged on my hand, "Please come back to snuggle with me." She begged.

"Baby, it's not the best idea. No one really knows yet!" I started.

"Oh yes we do! You aren't fooling anyone! Get over there!" Charlie smiled as he walked to the other side of the bed and kissed his daughter's forehead. I sat on the edge of her bed and held her hand. She snuggled close to me as we waited for the doctor to come in. I filled Charlie in on Aro then I told him how I was less then forth coming with information with my parents. Bella was silent through my talk with Charlie until I was finished then she asked softly, "Jasper, this whole this has been blown out of porportion. Edward didn't mean to hurt me. I am not saying I forgive him for what he has done because he came after you but this is a family dispute. I'm not going to press charges."

"It was a family dispute, until you ended up in the hospital! You don't have to press charges because the DA has already done so with all the medical records and the pictures that the ER took. You don't even have to testify. I am also filing a restraining order to keep Aro and Edward away." Charlie said.

"No, Dad! If I am going to be with Jaz then eventually I will have to deal with Edward. He wasn't trying to hurt me. I am mad at him for going after Jaz but I have nothing to fear from him. I really don't think I have anything to fear from Aro either. He's pushy but he's not violent." I said.

"How kind of you to say so, Bella." Aro said walking in to the room handing a court order to Charlie. "This gives me the right to be here. She is after all a character witness."

I saw Charlie's jaw tighten as he seethed, "After the doctor gets here and sees her we will give you your 20 minutes."

"What do you think you're going to gain by having me testify?" Bella asked, "Edward was out of control and threw a punch at his brother."

"Possibly but did he come after you?" Aro asked.

"Edward didn't care who was in the way when he attacked Jasper. He may not have meant to hurt me but he did intend to hurt Jasper." She said shaking with rage.

"That was not the question my dear. You will have to be direct." He said.

Charlie stepped into the hall phone in hand and within five minutes the DA was also in the hospital room. The doctor wasn't pleased when he came in. "All lawyers present step into the hall," he thundered. The DA stepped out willingly but Aro shook his court order at the doctor, "Sue me! My primary responsibility is to ensure the health of my patient."

I watched as Aro dropped his head as stepped out. Bella was visibly rattled.

"Bella, I am Dr. Embry Call. What is the last thing you remember?" He said.

"I remember sitting on the couch with Jasper and then Edward banging on the door. Jasper answered it and side stepped as Edward threw a punch. Jasper filled me in on the rest." She said.

"How does your head feel?" he asked.

"Pretty good! I have a dull headache but I have had worse headaches before. Can I please sit up now? I am sick of looking at the ceiling!" She begged.

Dr Call responded by repositioning the bed so she was sitting, "Is that better?" he asked.

"Much! So when do I get to go home?" She asked.

"I will order another CT scan and then we'll see. Maybe tomorrow if everything looks good." Embry said. "I am postponing all talks with lawyers until after the CT. someone will be in to take you shortly. After the scan I will have them bring you a clear liquid tray. You may have small sips of water until then."

Ha! I thought. Dr. Call's orders trumped Aro's little piece of paper.

Sarah meekly came through the door, "A nurse is going to be taking you down to the imaging lab in a wheel chair if you can sit up. It will take about an hour."

"You are not to come near Bella again! Are we clear?" I growled sending her running from the room.

"Jaz please calm down! I'm ok! I will be back home tomorrow if all goes well." She said reaching for me. I sat on the bed with her and she leaned in close. I felt myself start to calm down just being near her. The fact was that without Bella I wasn't ok. She had this strange calming effect on me that could put me back together when I was falling apart. The nurse finally come in with the wheelchair and took her to have her CT scan done. I decided to go have a friendly chat with my brother. Charlie loaned me his truck but stayed in the room to wait for Bella.

On the drive over I sang Bella's lullabye softly to myself. It seemed to soothe my frayed nerves. By the time I arrived I was confident I could have a discussion with my brother.I checked in and was taken to a room with a table in it where Edward was already seated. I took another deep breath and reminded my self of what I came here to do.

"Are you aware that your father just badgered Bella about testifying for you? She needs to rest right now not have him in her face waving a court order around it isn't good for the swelling in her brain. She needs a calm atmosphere and with your dad skulking around, sneaking into her room every chance he gets she's not going to get the rest she needs to recover. I am telling you this because you can call off your viper if you care enough about Bella." I said.

"I will tell him to back off. How is she?" he asked sadly.

"She's awake. Her face is swollen and bruised and she has swelling in her brain. She woke up with a headache. You should also know that Bella is not pressing charges it's the DA. She won't have to testify unless you drag her in to it." I said.

"Thanks Jasper!" Edward said.

"I didn't do it for you!" I growled.

"I know." He replied.

"Also Edward, stay away from the farm and Bella." I said walking to the door.

"Jasper?" he asked.

I turned to look at him.

"Do you love her?" he asked me.

"More than life itself!" I said seeing his stricken face I left the room. I made it back to the hospital before Bella made it back to the room. Charlie seemed mystified.

"Jasper? What did you do while you were gone?" he asked.

"I had a chat with my brother and told him to call Aro off." I said.

"It worked. Edward called the DA and wanted to make a deal. Aro went running out of like a scared jackrabbit. Thank you!" He said.

"You're welcome! I hated that Bella was being hounded and I knew Edward was the only one who could stop it. I was banking on him still loving her enough to care about what this is doing to her." I said.

"You think he still loves her?" Charlie asked shocked.

"In his own way I think he does. That other girl means less to him then Bella does. Edward has always been spoiled. He does what he wants and then expects everyone else to understand. Mom always made excuses for him. He has never faced a consequence in his life until Bella left him and even then she tried to blame me for pushing Bells to divorce him." I said.

"I know my daughter well enough to know that she isn't pushed into anything she doesn't want." Charlie said, "Esme shouldn't have said that. I know you well enough to know better than that. I watched you stand aside and watch her marry someone else just to see her happy." He gave me a knowing look.

"Who told you?" I said suddenly ashamed.

"Jasper, you grew up at my house do you not think I would get to know you? You know, she would have left with you that day! She has loved you for years. She just didn't know how you felt. I wish you had of told her. He wasn't good for her. He seemed ok until the book deal and then he was jealous because she was bringing in more money than he did. He started picking fights so he could leave and stay out all night. She deserved better than him. She needs someone to be her equal. Not someone who would set impossibly high standards so they could tear her down." He said looking me straight in the eye.

"Charlie, I want to spend the rest of my life by her side showing her what a treasure she in. One day when she's ready I intend to hit one knee and ask her to make me the happiest man on the alive!" I said.

"The inks not even dry on the divorce papers and you're already talking about marrying your brother's wife?" Esme bellowed as she charged into the room.

"One day when all of this mess is behind us, yes I fully intend to marry her." I said.

"Where's your loyalty to your family?" she growled.

"Esme, that's enough! Go wait in the waiting room!" Dad said firmly, "Edward has pled guilty and will be in court for sentencing tomorrow. He wanted me to give this to you and Bella." handing me a letter.

"Ok." I said not really knowing what to say.

"Son, I'm sorry! It occurred to me this morning that I haven't once asked how you were doing. I have been so busy trying to keep Esme from losing it. You have always been so tough. Even as a child that I tend to forget that you need support too." Dad said.

"I always cried on Bella's shoulder to get me through all the crap as a kid. She is my strength. She was always there for me even when I wouldn't let her be there for me she still made it very clear to me that she was there for me." I said, "I know Esme needs you to support her right now so that's what you should do. I have Bella, Charlie, and Harry to be there for me and the worst is over. Bella is ok and that is everything to me! You go take care of mom!" I said.

"Jasper, do you have a minute?" Esme popped her head in.

"Yeah," I sighed as I went out into the hall!

"How's Bella? Did she wake up yet? Do they know what happened yet?" She asked.

"Mom, Bella is awake. You know what happened to her. Edward hit her." I said barely controlling my anger.

"What? Why? Why would he hit her?" She asked wide eyed with shock as if she were hearing this for the first time, "can I see her?"

I pushed the door opened and motioned for dad. When he came out she crumbled, "Carlisle, Edward did this." She sobbed.

"Dad what is going on? Why doesn't she remember?" I asked afraid for my mother.

"I think it's stress. I am going to take her home. Who has Alice?" Dad asked.

"Emmett and Rosalie have her and the house. They will watch her for now." I said.

I watched as dad steered mom on to the elevator and turned to see Bella being wheeled back to her room.

I waited patiently while the nurse got Bella in her room and back in bed. When the nurse finally left, I sat with Bella in her bed while Charlie sat in the chair. Bella giggled softly. I looked over to see Charlie's head droop and hear his breathing change to deep rhythmic breaths. I smiled. He was asleep.

"Wake him up and tell him to go home!" she said.

"Darlin' he wouldn't leave if I threw him out!" I said, "We've been worried about you."

"No need to worry now! I'm awake and done fine." She said, "You should go home too."

"You must have knocked a screw loose if you think for one second that I am leaving your side tonight!" I joked.

"Jasper from what I hear you have had a stressful day." She said, "You chased Aro away several times, your brother is pissed at you, and your mom and dad haven't exactly been there for you today, you have been worried about me. You should go get some rest."

"Bella! I'm staying! Are you tired?" I asked her.

"Not really. You have got to be exhausted." She said.

"I won't sleep well until we are both home. If it were me could you leave? I really just need to be near you." I said.

"Well, come here!" She said and opened her arms. I carefully slipped onto the bed with her and her arms wrapped about me. I wrapped her on my arms and laid back onto the bed and just let her hold me. She leaned her forehead into mine and kissed my nose.

"I already feel a little better just being in your arms!" She whispered.

"Good! I feel better too." I breathed.

She shifted carefully to lay my head on my chest soon she was asleep. I lay quietly watching her sleep. I must have fallen asleep because I started having a strange dream.

_Bella and I were walking hand in hand in the south pasture visiting light heartedly as we often did. All of a sudden it turned in to a church. We entered a long hallway. It was nice with soft bright lights; it was pleasant we were happy and peaceful. We could feel the presents of God Almighty himself. I knew we must have died and this was the way to heaven but I was ok with that. I was peaceful and serene, the feeling that can only come from God. We got to a lobby of some sort and we walked to a door but it wouldn't open for me. God told me that this door wasn't for me yet. I looked around but could see no one. Bella however opened the door with ease and cheerfully walked through after telling me goodbye. It was then I realized I had walked her to heaven's door. I sunk my knees and wept, rocking trying to comfort myself. I was devastated. I noticed impressions in the carpet of huge hands and knees crawling toward me. At first I shy away from them and cry out to God to help me. The prints keep moving toward me. I finally realized the prints are Gods coming to comfort me._

I woke up gasping for air and tears streaming down my face. I opened my eyes to see Bella with concern etched in her features and Charlie standing at the side of the bed. "Jasper? What is it?" Bella asked.

I pulled her to me and held her close and buried my face into the hollow of her neck. 'It was a dream! Just a Dream! She's right here in your arms.' I thought.

"Jasper, of course I am right here!" Bella said putting her hand on my cheek, "it was just a nightmare! Jaz, Look at me please!"

I looked up at her and she had tears trickling down her cheeks, "Jaz what did you dream? You were weeping! Dad and I tried to wake you but couldn't. Please tell me! Baby I'm right here!"

I wiped my eyes and saw that it wasn't just Bella and Charlie who witnessed my breakdown. Dad was standing at the door looking stunned. I took a calming breath and asked Bella, "Can we talk about it later?"

"No! But everyone can give us an hour of privacy!" She said shooting a pointed look at her dad and my parents who instantly crept out of the room, "Ok we are alone."

"The swelling went down? You can see?" I said distracted from my nightmare.

"Yes I can see a little! Now tell me about your dream Jaz. It scared me to see you so …so…broken." She said sitting the bed up so we could talk.

"I dreamed you died." I rasped my breath catching with each word. I gasped for breath trying to hold it together, "That is the worst nightmare I have ever had, Bells!"

She pulled herself in to my lap and kissed me softly, "Jaz, I don't know what to say! I love you and I am here for you. I am fine just a little bruised up but I am ok."

I wrapped my arms loosely around her waist. We sat there holding each other while I absently hummed a lullaby. She understood that I just needed to hold her and allowed me that time without a word for most of the hour.

She asked shyly, "Uh, Jaz? I...um need held to the bathroom. Can you help me?"

I gently lifted her off of my lap and got off the bed and helped her stand. I gathered the IV line and brought the IV pole with us. I had Bella wrapped protectively in my arms. We made it to the bathroom and I helped her sit down and waited outside. I gathered her favorite PJs out of the overnight bag and when she was finished in the bathroom I helped her wash up and change. I had to dismantle the IV equipment to get her shirt on but it was well worth it to see her smile. She really wasn't thrilled at the prospect of getting in the bed so I sat her in the recliner and positioned everything around her. I also stripped her bed so it could be changed then sat in a chair beside her.

"Are you going to be in trouble for helping me to the bathroom and into the chair?" she asked me.

"No! The nurse put you in a chair yesterday to take you for your tests. They may not like it but seeing as how my dad works here I won't get much grief.

Dad knocked on the door and peeked in, "Jaz can I talk to you?"

"Yeah come on in!" I said.

"I wanted to see how you two were doing? I have kind of neglected to see you lately! It's easy to get caught up in work and stuff. Here lately I have been looking back and I see that I haven't been the best father." Dad said.

"Dad, you were dealing with a lot. Looking for Bree, mom running off, your work at the hospital you knew I had Bells and Charlie to be there for me. I'm fine!" I said in an attempt to comfort him.

"Seeing you this morning I froze! I felt terrible because I didn't know how to help. Bella and Charlie just knew exactly what to do. It occurred to me then that I left the emotional stuff to Charlie even when I was around. I'm not as close as I want to be with you. I'd like to change that if it's not too late." He said.

"Dad it's never too late. How about we go fishing in my pond after Bella is home and back on her feet. Then we can have a fish fry with mom, Alice, Bella, and Charlie!" I smiled.

"That sounds great! I saw Dr. Call this morning! He was very pleased with your scans Bells!" Dad said, "I have to go get Ally and then Esme and I are going to spend a quiet day at home. Call me if you need me!"

"Bye!" Bella and I said together.

After Dad left Harry showed up he went straight to Bella and knelt beside her and carefully pulled her into a hug. "I am so glad you are ok! When I saw you the other day I was terrified. I prayed for you all night. I would have been here sooner but I want to I feed your chickens and was going to gather the eggs but realized that the little Buff Orrington Hen was sitting on about seven the eggs. So I didn't disturb her since I remembered you talking about getting some more chicks. Are you letting her hatch those?" He smiled.

"She hasn't been sitting lately. I would love to hatch some eggs. Thank you for your prayers and being there for Jaz. I might get to go home today if all goes well." Bella said to him. I helped him to sit in the chair and sat on the edge of the bed. We visited for almost an hour when the nurse came in with Bella's breakfast.

"Jaz go get something to eat!" Bella said.

"Bells I want to wait till Dr. Call comes in." I protested.

"Did you eat at all yesterday evening?" Harry asked.

"I ate breakfast. Besides that Emmett hasn't brought my truck yet." I said feeling confident that I had just won the argument.

"You can borrow my truck and I'll stay with Bella." Harry said.

"That's ok I'll just wait." I said.

"JASPER WHITOCK! You will borrow that truck and get your ass to the diner. I am calling dad to see to it that you eat." Bella scolded.

"Ok, Ok! Fine I'll go!" I said taking the keys Harry was handing me and left the room to go to the diner to meet Charlie. I called in my order so it wouldn't take as long. When I pulled in to the parking lot Charlie was walking up to Harry's truck.

"Let's go have breakfast." I said glumly.

"Jasper you have to take care of yourself." He grinned, "I hear she threw a major fit at ya."

"In true Bella fashion." I grinned.

Bella's POV

It hurt seeing the dejected look on Jasper's face as I all but threw him out of my room. I called dad to go have breakfast with him so he would be sure to eat something.

"That boy was worried about you!" Harry said, "He loves you ya know!"

"Yeah! I know! I love him too!" I said, "Hey Harry? How much is Jaz spending on the horse he is buying for me."

"You will have to ask him that kiddo! I really don't know how much he paid." Harry said.

"Paid! As in he already bought him?" I stammered.

"Yeah, a buddy of mine was selling him. I introduced Jasper and they made a deal." He said, "Don't spoil his fun Kiddo! He couldn't stop smiling when he was telling me about how you were going to love him. He told me about Duce being your favorite and so he was super excited that Diesel acts just like him. It's going to make him happy to give you this horse and I am sure you are going to love him. Don't question him on how much he spent. Just tell him how much you love it and thank him. He was worried about your reaction."

"Harry, I don't need expensive gifts! Jaz is enough for me." I said.

"Bella, please don't give that poor boy a hard time. He knows that he is enough and that you don't expect gifts and that just makes him strive to find the absolute perfect gift for you. He told me that he wanted a horse worthy of a princess."

"Ok Harry, I won't give him a bad time! I will just focus on everything I love about the horse." I relented.

"Thank you!" He said.

The nurse came in and I had her help me back to bed after I ate. Then Harry and I visited another twenty minutes and Emmett and Rosalie came in.

"Where's Jaz?" Emmett asked.

"I kicked him out and made him go eat." I said as Jaz and Dad came in.

"I saw to it that he ate Bells." Dad chuckled as Jasper came over handing Harry his keys and expertly slid into the bed beside me and Harry and Dad slipped back out the door.

"Would you like some privacy?" Emmett chortled with his signature eye wiggle.

"Nah! When I get him home then I'll have all the privacy I need to have my wicked way with him!" I shot back and giggled as Emmett nearly choked. Luckily Dr. Call came in before Emmett recovered with release papers.

"You need rest Bells!" Jaz said giving me an exasperated because he knew the truth in my tone. I wanted him badly.

"Well Bella, I'm here to turn you loose. And Jasper is absolutely right! You should rest for a couple of days then take it easy for a week or so." He grinned as the nurse came in to remove me IV. I was visiting with Rosalie while the nurse pulled the IV out and all of a sudden Emmett was on the floor. The nurse rushed over to see if he was ok and waved an alcohol pad under his nose. Emmett sat up looking a little green. I was dying laughing.

"You're such a girl!" I crowed, "It's just a little blood Em. See look!"

"Keep it covered Bells! I don't want to see it!" Emmett groaned with his eyes squeezed shut tight.

The nurse chuckled and shook her head then turned back to me giving me my discharge instructions. Jasper wheeled me out to his truck and said in a goofy accent, "Your chariot awaits my Lady!" then he lifted me into his arms and sat me in the seat and buckled me in. I let him fuss over me. Emmett and Rosalie said that they would be back to the house around 6 pm and Rosalie was making Chicken Parmesan with angel-hair pasta and invited everyone over for dinner. It was half past ten in the morning now so that gave Jasper and I six and a half hours alone. He looked so stressed out still the first thing I want to do is get him to take a nap. Jasper carried my upstairs ignoring my protests that I was capable of walking then went back for my stuff. When he came back in he began putting things away.

"Jaz go take a nap! All of that can wait. You need to rest." I said.

"Bells right now there is too much to be done." He said avoiding looking at me. Something was wrong and I had a feeling it had to do with his dream this morning.

"Will you come lay down with me? I need to relax!" I said.

"Darlin' I just can't right now." He said staring out the window.

"Jaz, does this have anything to do with this morning?" I asked softly. I saw him stiffen but he still shared out the window. I carefully got off the bed and walked over to him and I slid my arms around his waist, "Jaz, can you tell me more about the dream?"

"No." came his strangled whispered, "Come on lets go lay down in your bed."

I let Jasper scoop me up and carry me to bed and pretended not to notice the tear streaks on his cheeks. He lay down next to me and I kissed his perfect lips with a little more enthusiasm that I should have.

"You need to rest!" he said pulling back tucking my head under his chin. Hum! A challenge! I think I will test his restraint! I thought with a smirk in to his neck.  
>"I feel your evil smile Isabella! It won't work!" Jasper chuckled.<p>

Well crap! He knows me to well. Oh well just because he knows what's coming doesn't mean he's prepared for it. I turned my head slightly and placed a firm kiss on his throat followed by feather-lite kisses up and down his neck.

"Bella!" He groaned, "You need to stop! You are supposed to be resting. There will be plenty of time for that in a day or so. Trust me Darlin' when I say that I do want you, just not at the expense of your health." He said gently kissing my lips before turning me over so my back was against his chest. I could feel how successful I was as I bumped into his erection. I was still feeling naughty so I wiggled my ass against it. He groaned and stuffed a pillow between us and swatted my ass playfully.

"You are killin' me here darlin'! Here I am on strict orders to behave and let you rest and you decide to become a horny teenager." He murmured, "Why don't we try to take a nap?"

I snuggled in to his arms and tried to fall asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Jasper POV

I waited until I thought Bella was asleep and tried to untangle myself without waking her. I needed to get out of her bed and fast. Laying here with her I couldn't keep my mind from thinking of all the sinfully delightful things I yearned to do to her and with her.

"Jaz, I know you don't want to talk about it now but I'm here when you're ready." She said rolling over to face me, "Can you help me down stairs. I really just want to be with you. The porch swing sounds nice." She said.

I scooped her up and carried her out to the porch sitting her down on the swing while I sat on the other end and pulled her feet up into my lap. I started massaging her feet and calves as we rocked. She watched me intently while I worked on the knots in her muscles. I knew she wanted to talk so I sighed and asked, "what is it, Darlin'?"

"How are you doing? I mean really? The dream and the way you are so stressed out. Jaz, please talk to me?" She pleaded. "Bells, you don't need to worry about me. I'll be fine!" I said. "I wish you would let me be there for you." She said softly.

"Bella, I'm fine!" I told her.

"You said 'will be' Jaz. You are clearly not fine. I know you well enough to know when you are lying to me. Jaz, you're not fine!" She said pulling her feet away from me and stood up. She stood over me with her hands on her hips and growled, "Jaz, if you don't want to talk about it fine but don't lie to me!" then stormed into the house. I followed her and found her standing at the kitchen sink angry tears soaking her face.

"Bells, I'm sorry. Please don't be upset with me. If you really want me to, I'll tell you." I sighed wrapping her tiny frame into my arms. We walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. My stomach was tying it's self in knots, "Bella, when I saw his fist connect with your face and your eyes rolled back in your head, I was terrified. Then you hit the table in the entrée way there was a sickening crunch then there was so much blood and you were lying on the floor. You were so still. I thought he had killed you." I had tears streaming down my cheeks and I could barely get the words out. "I grabbed you up and Edward drove us to the hospital. Bella, I will be ok given a little time but I saw you almost die before my eyes. I love you and am not trying to upset you. I just need time to calm down." as I finished she was in my lap and engulfed me in a soft comforting hug.

"I wish I could have been there for you." She murmured into my shoulder, "I'm sorry you had to go through that but I am here now and I love you!"

"I love you too Darlin'." I said. I was starting to calm down. I held her tight and just enjoyed her warmth. She was everything I had ever dreamed of and more. Before too long my phone buzzed it was mom.

"She must have radar?" Bella giggled.

I smiled as I answered the phone, "Hello Mom."

"Hi! How are you and Bella?" She sobbed.

"We're good. What's wrong?" I said concerned about my mother. "Your brother's sentencing was today. He has to spend 30 days in jail and will be paying Bella's medical expenses. I love you both. I wanted to call and check on you two." She sobbed.

"We're fine. Edward will be fine too. It's all going to be alright." I said trying to sooth my mom.

"Nothing is going to be alright, Jasper. I have two sons that I love dearly. One had everything any threw it away hurting the other. Jasper, I'm sorry that I have been so wrapped up in Edward. I knew you both needed me and I chose Edward over you." She sobbed, "It's just that you had everyone's sympathy and everyone was so angry with Edward. He needed one person to be there for him. Charlie was busy charging him. Carlisle was busy trying to be there for me. I see now that the only one there for you was unconscious. I know how much she means to you! I realize that she is the only one you are truly yourself with. I realized through all of this that you have always been the one to bring everyone through a rough situation. You always try to be strong for everyone else and when you needed me to return the favor I wasn't there for you. I'm so sorry." By the end she was sobbing inconsolably. I could hear dad trying to calm her down. For ten minutes I sat and listened to his soothing words to my mother silent tears rolling down my face. I clung to Bella and noticed she was gently rocking me and humming our lullaby but I don't know why I was surprised she has always been my life line.

Finally mom came back on the line, "I love you!" she whispered hoarsely.

"I love you too. Are you coming out tonight for dinner?" I asked.

"Sweetheart I just don't think I would be good company tonight but Carlisle and Alice will be there." She said, "I have to go now but I will come over soon. I love you Jasper!"

"Bye Mom, I love you too." And then she hung up. I would have to deal with Edward before I left for school. The thought of leaving clawed at my heart. I didn't want to leave Bella. I was starting to feel panicky again. What if Edward came back and gave her a hard time.

"Jaz? It's ok. What's wrong? Was it what Esme said?" Bella asked.

"No! I was just thinking about college. I'm not sure I can leave you to go back." I said knowing I sounded like a sissy but I felt the need to be here to protect her.

"Jaz, you ARE going to go back. We can skype every night. Being a lawyer is your dream. I won't let you give that up for anyone least of all me!" She said firmly.

"Come with me!" I begged.

"Jaz, I watch Alice for your mom. I am going to enroll in classes at the community college and get my teaching degree. Teaching has always been my dream. We will get through this. You can come home more frequently and I can visit you there. We will make it work. Don't worry about that yet, let's just enjoy the summer that we have together!" She said.

"You're right but I'm not sure I can." I said miserably. Bella leaned up and kissed me, effective distraction. She fisted my hair in her hands and straddled my lap. I wrapped my arms around her and deepened the kiss. I surrendered as her tongue fought for dominance and let her have complete control and allowed myself to become intoxicated by her scent. I adored this tiny woman and there is nothing I would ever deny her. Finally the need for oxygen over powered her and she sat back staring at me with smoldering eyes. She wanted more than just kisses. I didn't know if I had the will power to obey the doctor's orders much longer. "Darlin' you're gona be the death of me!" I smiled, "Could you just behave for tonight? Wait till tomorrow evening when Emmett and Rosalie leave then if you are still feeling frisky I will let you have anything you want."

"You're stallin' Jaz! I think I could talk you in to giving me what I want right here right now!" She purred with a sexy smile.

"I'm sure you could too but you know me well enough to know I would feel terrible afterward for risking your health and torture myself with all the different things that could have gone wrong or might possibly still go wrong. I know you love me too much to seduce me knowing what it would do to me." I said knowing from the look in her eye I had her.

"Oh Fine, tomorrow then." She pouted. I was intent on asking Emmett and Rosalie to stay another night so I could give Bella the as much time as possible to heal before I gave in. I was a bit worried I might wake up tied to the bed with the way Bella was acting. We decided to watch the fourth Leprechaun movie so I excused myself to go make popcorn. Bella followed me in and started putting ice in the glasses and poured us some tea. Then she hopped up on the counted and started chattering about the farm. She wanted to put up bird feeders and maybe a birdhouse or two. Then she asked about buying a couple geese for the pond. I loved the idea but I would buy her swans. I told her I wanted to buy a few cows and a bull when I got out of college. I loved that about Bella. She knew I had reached my limits and so she changed the topic. We chatted easily until the popcorn was finished then returned to the couch. She leaned into me as we watched and soon she fell asleep. I carried her up to bed and made my way to my room. I noticed that Emmett and Rosalie's suitcase was lying on the bed. I grabbed some clothes, showered and changed then made up the other guest bed and went back to the movie. Just as the movie was ending Emmett and Rosalie drove up. I stepped out on the porch and ask them to stay another night. Rosalie smirked knowingly and nodded then went to get started in the kitchen and Emmett and I stayed on the porch visiting. I told Emmett why and he laughed at me.

"So, we are here to help you fend off tiny little Bella?" he laughed.

"Sort of. I can't resist her much longer. It seems she knows exactly how to get what she wants." I chuckled.

"Yeah! We'll stay to protect you from Bella." Emmett crowed.

"You can't tell her why though!" I warned.

"I won't, I miss her. I would like to spend another night just hanging out with Bells. It will be like old times." He grinned, "Hey! Why not have a picnic tomorrow night."

"That sounds good to me. If Bella's not to tired." I said.

"What are you all plotting out here?" Bella asked as she and Rosalie came out the door. She came straight to me and nestled herself between Emmett and I and then snuggled into my side. Rosalie sat in the old wooden rocking chair facing us.

"Well I was thinking if you all don't mind of staying another night and hanging out. Maybe we could do a picnic." Bella's eyes lit up.

"We could do a weenie roast." Bella said. I smiled seeing her so happy.

Dad pulled up and carried a sleeping Alice up to her room then joined us, "Have you heard what Edward's sentence is yet."Dad asked Bella.

"No. We had other things to discuss other than Edward." Rosalie growled.

"How did that turn out?" Bella asked.

"Well, He has to pay all of your medical expenses and serve thirty days in jail." Carlisle said.

"Oh. How's Esme doing with all of that?" Bella asked.

"Not good. She is ashamed of what he has done and she feels bad for you all and Edward. She's torn two ways. On one hand she feels terrible for you and if anyone else had of done to you what he did she would have been the one to form the angry mob. On the other Edward is her baby and always will be. She wishes she could make this all disappear. Edward has broken her heart with what he has done but as his mother there is nothing he could do to make her love him any less. She is afraid she has alienated you and Jasper with her behavior. She thinks you hate her." Carlisle said.

"Jaz, can you drive me over to see Esme? I hate that she feels that way." Bella asked.

"Of course" I said leading her to the truck, "We'll be back!" We drove in silence to Mom's house. When we pulled up she came out onto the porch. I helped Bella up the steps and Bella pulled Esme in for a hug.

"I love you!" She said to my mother.

"I love you too!" Esme sobbed, "I thought you had a dinner tonight."

"We do mom but we had to make sure you were ok. Mom, please come back with us." I pleaded.

"Esme, we all understand your feelings. Edward is important to this family regardless of what he has done or who he has hurt. Come back with us!" Bella said dragging Esme back to my truck. I noticed Esme get a better hold on Bella to help her balance. I got back to the truck and helped Bella in then mom then sprinted to the driver's side. Everyone was out on the porch when we got back Carlisle met us in the driveway and pulled Esme into his side and I helped Bella out the Drivers side and steered her to the house. The swelling in her face had gone down considerably. She could now open her eyes but she still needed help because her depth perception was still off. We all went into the house where Rosalie had the food on the table. We sat down and ate and laughed and talked. By the end of the night even Esme was laughing.

Around ten everyone left and Bella was wiped out she went and lay down on the couch while Emmett and I helped Rosalie clean up. When everything was finally done we found Bella curled up on the couch asleep. We all went out to the porch and I could tell that Emmett was rattled.

"She's ok Em. She's just a little fragile right now." I tried to reassure him.

"She looks so small and helpless laying there all black and blue." Emmett said, "I want to kick Edward's ass for this."

"You and me both!" Rosalie growled.

"You all are going to have to get in line. When he gets out he and I are going to solve this permanently and I better not hear of him coming anywhere near her again." I said.

"Jasper how long have you been seeing Bella. Is that why Edward flipped out because…" Emmett began.

"No. When I was headed home to mom and dad's house and Edward called me. He was upset so I stopped by the hospital to visit him and he was really nervous. So I had to play 20 questions to get at his problem. It turned out that he was banging some slutty intern." I said before Rosalie interrupted.

"You told her, then?" she questioned.

"No I wasn't the one who told her. Edward asked me if I was going to tell her and I told him I didn't know what I was going to do that I was going to sleep on it. I drove around thinking for a while then headed to mom and dads. I saw Edward all over the little bimbo he was cheating with so I headed straight out here. I still didn't know what I was going to do. When I got here Bella was gone. Since she had Alice I figured she wouldn't be gone long. As it turns out she left to take him supper because he left her a voicemail that said they were busy and he had to work an extra shift and he probably wouldn't even have time to eat. So since Ally was awake she took him supper and caught him in the parking garage with his new toy. She came home and I helped her get Ally to bed and tried to be a good friend to her. She cried most of the night. We decided I would stay here as planned. She surprised me when she wasn't willing to even attempt counseling and asked for a divorce. I have always secretly loved her and it turns out that I wasn't the only one with hidden feelings. We are just hanging out and taking things slow. We were snuggling on the couch when Edward pulled his stunt." I informed them.

"Do you really love her?" Emmett asked staring into my eyes. I had never seen Emmett so serious.

"With all that I am! I never could find a girl that could measure up to her but I didn't dare dream of her because I thought it would never happen. I was shocked when I found out that she loved me too." I blushed at my cheesy confession.

"Then I'm ok with you and her. I know you Jaz! You'll treat her right." He said.

"Thanks! I'm going to go take her to bed then I will grab some clothes out of my room then you all can go to bed. If you need anything I will be in the guest room." I said wanting to give them some privacy. I walked in and carefully picked up Bella and carried her up to her room. I folded the covers back and laid her down before covering her with a thin sheet.

I stepped into the hall to see Rosalie sitting on my bed. I entered the room and started getting my stuff. "Jasper, I applaud you for taking it slow with her. He never treated her like I think he should have. I think they were happy but their relationship was always lop-sided. She loved him more than he did her. She is happier right now than I have ever seen her and that is all you!" she said softly.

"Thank you Rosalie!" I said as I left the room. I dropped my clothes for tomorrow off in my room and took my flannel pants and tee shirt with me to the bathroom. I showered quickly to give Emmett and Rosalie the bathroom and then went to sit on the porch swing. I still was afraid to sleep. Emmett came on to the porch and sat in the rocking chair.

"Charlie approached me this evening. Jaz, he's worried about you. He said you didn't really sleep at the hospital and when you did you had nightmares. If you need to talk I'm here!" he said.

"I'm good Em!" I replied.

"Ok. Well, good night!" he said sounding unconvinced. I sat there staring at the stars fighting sleep. I must have fallen asleep at some point because the vivid rays of the sun awakened me. I sat up and realized I wasn't alone. Bella was sitting in the old rocker quietly watching the birth of a new day. I noticed two steaming cups of coffee on the table beside her. I sat perfectly still watching her as she sat sipping her coffee undoubtedly waiting for me to wake up. Finally she looked over and caught me. She smiled a smile that was a million times more beautiful than the sunrise we were watching and said, "Good Morning!"

"Morning Darlin'" I drawled taking the cup of coffee she offered, "Thanks!" I reached for her and instantly she came and melted into my side. I instinctively wrapped my arm around her as we sat in the swing and enjoyed the quiet of morning together. I looked down at her to find that she was gazing up at me. We both chuckled at being caught ogling each other. I leaned in and brushed my lips against her forehead and whispered, "How are you this morning?"

"I'm feeling better than I did yesterday. I don't feel as dizzy as I did yesterday." She realized that she had just revealed too much her eyes went wide and her hand flew over her mouth.

"Bella, are you dizzy now?" I said.

"A little" She admitted.

"And you walked down the stairs? Alone?" I felt so panicky, "What if you had fallen? I don't think I could handle that! Please be careful with yourself!" I begged.

"I hadn't thought of that. I'm sorry Jaz. I will wait on you next time!" She said.

"I should have stayed upstairs with you." I told her pulling her into my lap so I could hold her more securely. I was regressing back to when we were kids and I would hold her tight when I was upset. She nestled her head into the curve of my neck and I relished the feeling of her delicate breath as in tickled a trail along my collar bone. I could start to feel myself calm down and I realized I was humming the lullaby that I always sang to her. I peeked down at her to find her eyes were closed and a gentle smile graced her lips. I stopped humming and she opened her eyes.

"Feeling better?" She whispered.

"Yeah, I am! How did you know?" I asked wondering how on earth she always seemed to know when I was calm.

"Jaz, even when we were kids you used to hold on to me and hum that song when you were upset. I could always tell when you were starting to calm down because as you calmed down the humming would subside and you would either start to sing if you thought I was upset or if I wasn't upset you would just stop humming. I always remained quiet until you were quiet then I knew that I could talk to you and you would really hear what I was saying." She said looking up at me, "I hate that I was the one who upset you."

"I'm mad at me, Darlin'! I shouldn't have put you in a position that required you to walk down the stairs alone." I said.

"If I had been honest with you then you would have stayed close to me." She said pressing a soft kiss to the side of my neck, "I'm sorry! I will be honest with you from now on!"

"Thank you! I love you Bells!" I breathed.

"I love you too." She said leaning over to put her coffee down then wrapping her arms around my neck and laying her head on my shoulder again watching the sunrise. We didn't move till Emmett and Rosalie came outside.

"What are you two doing up so early?" Rosalie yawned.

"Watching the sunrise. At school I am usually getting ready for my morning run but I am enjoying just sitting here with my girl and my coffee relaxing!" I smiled.

"So you woke her up to watch the sun?" Rosalie accused.

Bella giggled and said, "Rosie, I woke up on my own. I usually watch the sunrise every morning." She uttered leaning back into me. Emmett and Rosalie sat together in the rocking chair and we just enjoyed the morning. Emmett, never one to enjoy quiet was the one to break the silence.

"So what are we doing today?" He asked.

"Well, at some point today I would like to go down to feed my chickens." Bella said.

"I'll feed them for you." I told her.

"I know you would but I would like to see them. Harry says the rooster is getting pretty and I really want to see the hen that is hatching out the eggs." She said.

"I'll go with you!" I said.

"Ok we have established you are going to feed the animals but I want to do something fun!" Emmett whined.

"Emmett until my face isn't one giant bruise I don't want to go anywhere." Bella said, "You know how the gossip flies around our little town."

"We can to a weenie roast out by the pond. It has a rock bottom until you get in over your head." I suggested.

"That sounds good to me." Rosalie said following my lead.

"Yeah! I haven't swam in quite a while." Emmett exclaimed then added with a suggestive eyebrow wiggle, "Rosalie lets go gather the firewood." Bella giggled and Rosalie smacked him in the head but she did get up dragging Emmett off to "gather firewood". Bella and I headed down to the hen house to feed. We walked slowly hand in hand. I could tell she was getting tired but she insisted that she was fine. She talked to her chickens and even scooped up her rooster.

"Aren't you a pretty boy?" She crooned to him as she stroked his feathers while I fed them.

To make her laugh I pretended to think she was talking to me, "Stop, your making me blush." "I was speaking to the rooster, but you're not so bad yourself." She giggled at my cheesy joke. On the way back to the house I scooped her up and slung her on to my back.

"Thanks Jaz. I know I'm a pain." She said lying over on my shoulder.

"You're welcome and you're not a pain." I said.

She responded by kissing my shoulder, "You look tired. Are you ok?"

"I'm fine. I just didn't sleep well last night." She said.

"I will stay with you tonight if that will help." I said.

"I think it might. In the hospital I was trying so hard to wake up. I could hear you and I think Harry talking and I desperately wanted to wake up but I couldn't. I could feel some one jostling me around and I was trying to wake up. I knew you were there because I heard you ask if I was in pain so I called to you." She said.

"I remember that!" I said.

"I felt you holding me and heard you singing. I fought so hard to wake up but I couldn't but having you there holding me was so comforting. I felt you lay me back down so I lay there listening to you. Then when I finally fought hard enough to wake up I was afraid to go back to sleep because I worried I may have trouble waking up again! I only slept that night in the hospital because you were with me. Last night I kept having dreams that I couldn't wake up. I ended up checking the guest room and when you weren't there I figured you couldn't sleep either so I just read a book." she said. "I'm sorry Darlin'. I will hold you tonight while you sleep. Will that be better?" I asked her.

"Yes. Why weren't you in the bedroom?" She asked as we reached the porch and settled on the swing.

"Well," I began, pulling her on to my lap, "Remember the dream I had at the hospital?" she nodded, "I was too afraid of having it again so I stayed awake until I sorta passed out." I said pulling her closer.

"We're a pair aren't we? We fight sleep to avoid dreams and other craziness." Bella chuckled.

"We are indeed!" I said gently pressing my lips to hers.

"Hey Jaz? I need a shower can you help me upstairs and stay with me. I'm so tired that I am not very steady on my feet." She asked shyly.

"Yes, I'll help you. Maybe after that we can try to take a nap." I said as I stood up with her in my arms and strode upstairs to her bedroom to let her get some clothes. She grabbed a pair of shorts and a tank top and then walked to the bathroom stumbling a bit. I easily caught her and guided her on. I put my arms on either side of her and closed my eyes. She held on as she undressed. I resisted the temptation to peek out of respect for her. My eyes remained closed until she started to fall. My eyes flew opened and my arms closed around her tiny frame. Before I realized it I had her naked body held safely against my body.

"Uh...Jaz? I think I may need someone in the shower with me." She said with a slight smirk on her face.

"Bella." I groaned as I wrapped her in a soft towel and sat her on the edge on the tub, "How about I run you a nice bath and help you in then when you are done I will help you out." I asked rather pleased with myself for thwarting her attempt to get me in the shower with her. I do believe she needed help balancing but I doubt she would behave herself and I'm not strong enough to resist her.

"Fine" she sighed as I ran her water and dropped in a couple of her bath beads. When the water was perfect I turned it off and helped her up. She dropped the towel and nipped my ear lobe. I couldn't help the moan that escaped me.

"Bella, please behave!" I ground out.

"I know what you did!" She said as she slid into the water.

"What?" I said.

"Em and Rosalie staying was all you're doing." She said still holding my hand.

I sunk to the bathroom floor with my back against the tub, "Bells, I…"I started.

"Please let me finish. I understand why you did it. I want you so bad I can't think of anything else. I have never wanted anyone or anything as badly as I want you. Jaz you turn my mind into mush and it slips in to the gutter. All I can think of is the things I want to do to you. I even fantasized about trying you to the swing this morning. You just do something to me that no one else ever has. I really do have every intention of behaving myself but then when I see you…well, I lose control!" she said.

I grinned at her confession, "Bella, I am really having a hard time controlling myself too. If it weren't for the fear of hurting you I would let you do anything that pleased you to me including sex on the swing. Just give yourself time to heal. You have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. If he says you no longer need complete rest I will bring you home, strip off my clothes, climb up on your bed, and let you have your way with me. So rest up so he can give you the go ahead Darlin', Please! Your health and safety comes first before anyone's pleasure." I said turning my head slightly to see her face!

"I will try!" she said with a wicked smirk, "You know, we could…"

"Bella… Darlin'…PLEASE!" I said exasperated.

"Oh fine!" She giggled, "I think I'm done." She said. I quickly hopped up and grabbed a towel to wrap her in. She stood up holding on to the tub and I wrapped her up before scooping her in to my arms and sat her gently on her feet. She giggled and grabbed her clothes as I turned my back not wanting to get any more excited then I already was. I could hear her dressing and then I felt a stinging smack delivered to my ass. Bella had just snapped me with a wet towel. Good grief, I felt like I was in a high school locker room.

"Isabella Swan! Pay backs a bitch!" I smiled turning to see the shocked look on her face.

"Jaz, I didn't actually mean to hit you I was just going to sling water on you!" She half giggled.

"Uh-huh! I know that trick." I said as I scooped her up quickly making her squeal, "Hum… Now how to get you back." I said as she giggled. "I guess I could…No…no… that won't do. Wait I know!" I playfully tickled her sides making her laugh and snuggle closer. We reached her bedroom and I tossed her into her soft warm bed and gently crawled in beside her. She snuggled in close and slung her bare thigh over my hip. Her eyes glistened as she felt the 'problem' she had created in my pants. She rocked her hips a few times against it. I stifled a moan and then sighed, "Bella! You said you would behave."

"What if we just went really slow and gentle?" she pleaded.

"Darlin' you know why we can't right now. Please, your doctor's appointment is tomorrow." I said gently seeing the desperation in her eyes, "Sweetheart what if we were to have sex right now and we got carried away and we caused your brain to bleed or you banged your head. Darlin' anything can happen and I will not put you at risk like that!" she took her leg off of me and tucked her face into me chest. My heart ached because I knew my refusal had hurt her no matter the logic. I rubbed soothing circles on her back feeling her erratic breaths. I killed me to know she was crying but I wasn't going to give in. This was her health at stake and I wasn't going to chance it. I finally felt her relax and her breaths turned to a rhythmic pattern. She was finally asleep. I lay beside her, holding her watching the breeze blow the sheer white eyelet curtains. I loved the way Bells had fixed her room. The walls had a leather-like wallpaper that was the color of the mahogany wood floors the trim was weathered white. She had several black and white photos on the walls. She had taken sandpaper to the white furniture to age it. An empty picture frame sat on the dresser that had once held a picture of her wedding day. Her bedding matched the curtains. The vase on the dresser held wilting flowers. I made a mental note to replace them.

Bella's POV

When I awakened I felt safe and warm in Jaspers strong arms. I opened my eyes to see him looking around my room.

He was so breathtakingly sexy. "Hey handsome!" I smiled up at him seeing his lips stretch into an involuntary grin.

"Well hello gorgeous!" He whispered in my ear. "Are you ready to go down stairs? Emmett and Rosalie are getting ready for our cook out." He said.

"In a minute," I said, "I need to apologize to you!" I thought back to my wanton behavior. I did want him bad but I was torturing him. I could feel how much he wanted me too but he was terrified of hurting me.

"Darlin' you don't have to." He said gently.

"Yes I do! Jasper, I have been torturing you since we got home. I am sorry! Can you forgive me?" I said looking into his eyes.

"Bella, there's nothing to forgive! I love you!" He said brushing a kiss a crossed my forehead and pulling us both up.

He helped me to my feet and down the stairs. Rosalie and Emmett were already gathering stuff for our weenie roast. I wanted to help but Rosalie said she had everything under control. Jasper suggested that I go sit on the porch swing and watch he and Emmett pack the truck. I sat down and watched them. They were paling around like they use to when we were kids.

Rosalie brought out a large box and an ice chest then came out and joined me on the swing. We laughed at our guys antics. I smiled as I thought that this was how it should have been all along! Emmett and Jasper loaded the box and ice chest then we were ready to go. Emmett and Rosalie drove their car down and Jasper and I drove his truck.

Emmett built up the wood for our fire and Jasper sat up the folding table that he had brought. Rosalie and I started unpacking the food onto the tables. Jasper and Emmett had a fire built by the time Rosalie and I had everything set out and ready. Jasper pulled a couple large logs over so we could sit on them. We roasted hotdogs and ate and then Jasper pulled out his old guitar. I hadn't heard him play in years. I settled in and listened to him play. At the end on the evening he played my lullaby. We started packing up to head home. Jasper drove me back home and I must have fallen asleep because I woke up in Jaspers arms, hearing him snoring lightly, with the sun peeking through the window. I snuggled deeper into his arms and waited for him to awaken.

I let my mind roam over the past, my mind settles on a memory from when I was 8. _"You kids stay off of the tree house! I have to fix it before you can play in it." Dad said to Jasper and I. "Ok!" we both said. We played in the yard until dad went inside and then we forgot about the floor of the tree house being weak. We decided to play hide and seek and I hide in the tree house. Jasper had searched the yard and then up in the tree house he came. He found me. I bolted out of my hiding spot and Jasper caught me then got over balanced and we crashed to the floor, then threw the floor and then to the ground. I remember the searing pain that started in my wrist and shot through me as I landed on Jasper and Jasper landed on my arm. I cried out in pain. Jasper snatched me up and met dad at the door. He drove us the emergency room and found that my wrist was broken. I had decided on a light blue cast. When we got home we were in so much trouble. Dad took the ladder off of the tree house and said we weren't allowed in the backyard until dad fixed the tree house. Jasper had felt so bad. He waited on me hand and foot for weeks. I kind of, well there was no kind of about it, I milked it for all it was worth! I was terrible! He bought me pop and food and did anything I asked. My heart swelled with love for the man holding me in his arms. I was lucky enough to be loved by the greatest guy in the world._

"What's got you grinnin''?" Jasper asked with a lazy grin.

"I was just reminiscing about that ol' tree house in dad's backyard." I told him, "The time I broke my wrist and you took care of me."

"You're smiling about the time I broke your arm?" He questioned.

"Oh stop it! You didn't break my arm the fall did. I was thinking about how I milked it and made you become my servant." I said.

"You're too forgiving, Darlin'!" He groaned.

"I mean it Jaz! I don't want to hear it! Let's go down stairs. Emmett and Rose will be leaving soon and then there is my doctor's appointment." I said gently starting to pull out of his arms. "And what if I don't wanta leave this room today! Or leave this bed!" he said pulling me back into his arms. "Well, I can think of a few ways we could entertain ourselves but it would require me to break my promise to behave!" I said rolling in his arms to face him knowing that would end the discussion and we would be up and down stairs very quickly.

"You don't know how tempting that sounds." He growled in my ear pulling me tighter into him and ghosting his lips from my ear to my collarbone leaving a trail of kisses in their wake before releasing me and letting me up.

We walked down stairs to find Emmett and Rose had already loaded their car. I was really going to miss them. We had breakfast and then visited for an hour before they had to go. Jasper and I went to out rooms and got ready to go to my doctor's appointment. I was excited at the prospect of him releasing me and telling me I didn't have to rest anymore. I was so ready to jump Jasper's bones. Jasper and I arrived at the doctor's office and waited till it was time on the dot. I really didn't want to face anyone staring at my horribly bruised face.

Dr. Call's nurse took us back to a room immediately and Embry was in not even a minute later.

"Hey Guys! How are you feeling today, Bella?" he asked.

"Good! I am going crazy having to rest. I NEED to be able to do things!" I said.

"Um-hum! I bet!" He said giving me a knowing smirk that made me blush. "Well let's have a look and see how you are doing." He said. After checking my eyes, asking a million questions he finally said the words I wanted to hear.

"Bella, I'm releasing you. You can resume light to moderate activity." he said.

I turned and grinned at Jasper and was mortified when Jasper asked bluntly, "She wants to know about sex." I have never been so crimson in all of my life. I was going to kill Jasper when I got him home! "As long as it's not wild, kinky, swinging from the chandeliers kind of sex you should be fine. You might need to wait a few weeks of the wild stuff, Bella." He grinned. I sat there wishing the floor would swallow me. "Alright guys! If you have any problems call me. I'll have my nurse call you with a follow up visit." He said leaving the room.

When he closed the door I swatted Jasper's arm, "Seriously? I could just strangle you!" I hissed at him.

He was laughing so hard he couldn't catch his breath. I stalked out of the room and made my way to his truck. Jasper was still chuckling as he strolled to the truck.

Jasper's POV

As I entered the truck I could see that Bella was upset and I felt horrible. I hadn't meant to upset her.

"Ass!" she spat.

"Bella, I didn't realize that it would embarrass you or I would not have done that. I was playing. I'm so sorry!" I said praying that she would.

"You embarrassed me." She said softly. The drive home was quiet. Bella didn't so much as look at me. When we got home she headed down to feed her chickens. I sat on the porch and let her have some space. I knew I had embarrassed her I was really just playing and hadn't thought about what I was saying. I kept watch over her from the porch. She held her rooster for a while and several of the hens before she finally headed back to the house. I saw a small smile cross her face when she looked up at me and knew I was forgiven. I hopped the railing of the porch and met her half way.

"I love you." She whispered as I swept her into my arms.

"I love you too. I'm sorry!"

"It's ok, Jaz!" She kissed me softly and we walked to the house hand in hand. Our summer was beginning and the greatest thing was this was the first summer that I could be truly content. Bella was mine. My best dream had come true! My heart swelled and I felt like skipping the rest of the way to the house. Of course if I did that Bella would think I had completely lost my mind but I was happy. For the first time in my life I had everything I ever wanted.

"What!" I asked realizing we had stopped and Bella was staring at me. 'Well, you just stopped! You have been standing there with a huge grin on you face for a full minute now." She said.

"OH! Sorry! I was just thinking!" I said.

"I have heard that Blondes can't walk and chew gum at the same time but I've never heard of one that can't walk and think at the same time!" She teased.

I gasp and pretended to be offended before snatching her up and kissing her and her legs wrapped around my waist. "You make me happy. I was just thinking about you!" I whispered in her ear. I quickly walked us to the house as she peppered my neck with kisses. I took the stairs two at a time my need for her swelling within me. I knew she could feel my growing need.

I wanted to do this right. She deserved to be reverenced. This was the love of my life here in my arms and I planned to treat her as such. I lay her acrossed the bed and stretched out beside her. She looked at me with a questioning glance before she realized I wasn't going to stop. I held her close and kissed her gently. I grinned slightly as she unbuttoned my shirt. I was shocked when she pushed it down over my shoulders and straddled me. She had just restrained my hands and from the wicked grin on her glorious face she had no intention of letting me go. I helped her push my pants down past my knees but she was careful to ensure my shirt stayed in place effectively leaving me at her mercy.

She began to slowly undress and kissed me softly until I was begging for more. She knew she was in control and she was bent on slow torture. She blazed a trail of fiery kisses down my neck and chest. I could feel my length harden. She slowly took me in her hands and ran them up and down my shaft. She then positioned herself over me and swiftly slid down me until I was deeply seated inside her. She rocked her hips against me and raked her fingernails over my chest. She raised herself and dipped back slowly swirling her hips until I was just about to lose my mind. Just when I was straining against my shirt she sped up the pace. I could feel myself sliding in to her wet hot center. I heard a rip and realized I had just freed my hands. I grasp her hips and thrust deep into her. She moaned and I relentlessly pounded into her. We both found our release as she screamed out my name and then collapsed onto my chest thoroughly spent. I stroked her hair as we came down from our high. I smiled at her as she looked up at me.

"You're amazing!" I said.

"Thank you! You're pretty great you're self!" She smirked as she rolled off of me to rest of the bed beside me. I kissed her passionately and rolled over and started rolling her nipple only to hear a knock at the door.

I sighed and got up hitching my jeans up and tossing my shirt into the trash as I sprinted to get another one. I was still buttoning my shirt as I headed down stairs. I heard the shower come on as I opened the door.

I escorted Charlie in and we went to the kitchen to grab a beer.

"You look like you feel better! You must be getting some rest now." Charlie mused.

"Yeah, now that I know that she's ok. I do sleep better." I answered him.

"Jasper, I want to thank you for staying with her so I could go take care of my duties as police chief." He said.

"I wouldn't have left her side even if you were there! I love her!" I told him.

"How did her appointment go?" he asked.

"Great. He told her that she was healing nicely and that she could get off the couch. She couldn't wait to get home. The first thing she did was go feed her chickens." I grinned then I heard the shower stop and added, "I need to go help her down the stairs. She's still a little unsteady."

"Ok!" Charlie said as there was another knock at the door, "I got it." He called.

I heard him greeting Harry as I headed up the stairs.

"Who's here?" Bella asked as I walked into her bedroom.

"Your dad and I think Harry just came in." I chuckled as she flopped across the bed burying her head in her pillow.

"Don't worry it's not like they know what we were doing before they got here! And I promise to behave myself. I won't embarrass you again." I said softly as I pulled her out of bed.

We walked down stairs to see our guests making themselves at home in the living room. Charlie was in the recliner with his feet kicked up and his beer balanced on the arm rest and Harry had settled in to the couch drinking his beer. They were already engrossed in a ball game.

I chuckled and asked, "Wanta stay for dinner? I'm grillin' steaks!"

"Sounds good to me!" Charlie said.

"That does sound good. Need some help?" Harry asked.

"No! I got it." I said sitting Bella and I down in Bella's favorite over sized chair.

"Glad you're doing better, Bells!" Harry said affectionately to Bella.

"Thanks!" She said snuggling into my side.

We watched the game with them, chuckling and the two men yelled at the players and the umpire, until we excused ourselves to go start fixing supper leaving the two older men to instruct the umpires. It only took an hour to get supper cooked.

We called the two hecklers out of the den and sat down at the table. Charlie had mentioned a desire to go fishing and Harry agreed that it sounded great. I invited them fishing at the pond tomorrow. Everyone seemed to buzz with excitement. I couldn't help but smile as I watched my girl, her father and Harry (whom I thought of as more of a father figure then my own "father") smiling and talking so animatedly. It was then that I realized that family wasn't about bloodlines! It was about people who cared for you. I sat back and relished in the warmth of having my family with me.

Bella slipped her hand in mine and whispered, "Are you ok?"

"Yes. Everything is perfect!" I smiled at her.

Harry had regaled us with stories of past fishing trips and Charlie told old stories of Bella and I. I stiffened when I heard a knock at the door. I was enjoying myself with my newly built family and I didn't want anything to interrupt it. I went to answer the door trying to avoid Bella's questioning look. When I reached the door I saw dad and Esme.

"Hey, come on in." I smiled genuinely. I really did want a good relationship with my dad and Esme and don't get me wrong. I don't have a bad relationship with them it's just that I am not a priority to them. I am usually an afterthought to them.

"Oh no! We're crashing a dinner party." Esme said sadly.

"No, it's just a spontaneous gathering." Bella said coming to stand beside me, "Come on in! There is plenty. Jasper cooked enough to feed an army or Emmett. I tried a new recipe for dessert. I made cheesecake stuffed strawberries smothered in chocolate."

"Are you sure?" Dad said looking uncertain.

"Of course! I wouldn't have asked you to join us otherwise!" Bella said looping her arms through my parents' arms and leading them off to the dining room.

Charlie moved to the head of the table by Bella and Harry moved to the foot of the table by me so Esme and Dad could sit together. The conversation was light and friendly but wasn't the same as before. Harry and Charlie disapproved of the way that they had coddled my brother and ignored me. They had kept quiet about our fishing trip so I followed suit. I knew my dad was trying but I wanted this time tomorrow just to enjoy the day and not have to worry about saying the wrong thing or being more comfortable with Harry and Charlie then I am my own father and hurting his feelings. It was exhausting to try to keep up with everything. I did invite my father fishing and then both of them to dinner the following weekend as they were leaving. They left soon after the dessert was served. Dad had a shift at the hospital and Mom needed to get back to Alice. Until Bella healed up and wasn't bruised anymore an older nurse from the hospital was watching Alice. I couldn't help that ominous feeling that this was just a calm before the storm.

After they left we moved out to the porch. Bella started talking about her horse. I grinned at her excitement as she talked about him. Our company finally left around ten thirty after promising to be back in the morning to fish with Bella and I.

I helped clean up and we made our way upstairs. After an intense make-out session and some wonderfully sensual sex we fell asleep tangled in sheets and each other. I was awakened by the sound of the shower. I quickly padded to my room to get some clothes.

After my shower I heard voices down stairs. I quickly headed down stairs to find Charlie and Harry had brought breakfast. Bella was laughing as Harry was telling a story very animatedly.

"Well, look who finally decided to join the land of the living!" Harry teased.

"Yeah, well, if two ol' geezers hadn't kept me up half the night!" I picked back eliciting a roar of laughter from both said geezers.

"Listen here you…" Harry chuckled before trailing off into laughter.

"That's the trouble with you kids today. Up at the crack of noon!" Charlie grinned.

"Hey, Pop's! It's only six in the morning! And I haven't even had my coffee yet." I chuckled hearing another roar of laughter. "Ugh! Who let the Morning people in the house?" I teased making my way to the most beautiful site in the world, my angel with an over sized mug of the precious energy source inside of it. I took the mug and gave her a gentle kiss. We stood around the kitchen and drank our coffee and ate the donuts that Harry and Charlie brought.

Once at the pond Charlie turned on his radio and sang along to me some country song about not being able to bait a hook teasing me about turning into a city boy since I was getting a "Big Fancy Degree in the Big City!" Bella laughed and then turned off the radio claiming it was scaring the fish. I told her it was her dad's caterwauling that was scaring the fish. I haven't laughed and enjoyed myself like this in…well to be quite honest I can't even remember how long. Harry cooked the fish for lunch and then they left. Bella and I cuddled up on the porch swing and just enjoyed a lazy day.

Over the next several weeks Harry became very close with us. When Bella started watching Alice again she had been fascinated by him. I had teased him so much about being Pops that Alice started calling him Pop-Pop. So now we all called him Pop-Pop.

***Time Lapse***

Bella's POV

Jasper and I sat on the porch swing watching the sunrise before Carlisle came over to fish with Jasper. I snuggled deeper into his arms and thought about my plans for today. Dad was meeting me and the private investigator at the police station.

I wanted to find Bree for Jasper. Dad hadn't had the time or the resources to search anymore. I had heard Mike Newton was the good. At 9 O'clock I was having "coffee" with my dad. Dad said that Carlisle had stopped looking after he met Esme. He had always disapproved of that telling him several times that if it had been me, dad would have moved heaven and earth to find me. I was pulled from my musings by the alarm I had set.

I was surprised Carlisle wasn't here yet. I kissed Jasper and he walked me to my car. As I drove away I say him answering his phone.

"Mrs. Cullen!" Mike greeted.

"Oh..um…It's Swan now! I'm divorced. But Please call me Bella." I corrected.

"Oh, Well Bella, you father has filled me in on the job and given me everything he has found. I will be looking for both of them. If I find Victoria she can lead me to Bree. I will be in touch with your father if I find anything as I am aware that this is a surprise for Jasper." Mike said.

After a half hour of filling in some details I was headed home feeling confident. As I pulled in to the house I saw Jasper sitting on the swing. My heart sank knowing that look. I rushed to him and my heart broke seeing the pain in his eye.

"Where is he at?" I asked wrapping him in my arms.

"Esme broke down. She demanded to go see Edward this morning. So he took her and then she refused to leave him. After she finally left on the way home he said she wanted to take Edward and I back to school shopping before everything was picked over. He asked what she was talking about and she said 'you know, clothes shopping for school. Jasper is going to be a senior this year.' Dad tried to explain to her that we weren't in school anymore and she threw a fit, screaming about us being high school drop outs. She had to be sedated. He's with her. Alice is upstairs sleeping. Dad said she was terrified when mom started yelling. Bells, she didn't recognize me when they dropped Ali off. She told me that she simply couldn't babysit my daughter anymore as dad handed her off to me. Dad took her to the hospital. They are going to run some tests. Something's wrong with my mom." He sobbed.

Harry pulled up and instantly asked, "What happened?" I relayed the story and he offered to stay with Ali. I handed him the baby monitor and guided Jasper to my car. When we got to the hospital Carlisle was sitting dazed in a chair just staring miserably at the door.

"The doctor Call has done a few tests and thinks it's Early Onset Alzheimer's. I told him about her episode today and a few other weird episodes. He's convinced. They took her for an MRI to confirm. Social services have already been here. They say Alice isn't safe around Esme. I don't know what to do." He said miserably with his head in his hands, "The lady told me I had to remove one of them from home or be there full time."

"Carlisle, we will take care of Alice as long as you need us too." I said shocked at the words that came out of his mouth next.

"Good, because she needed somewhere to go the social worker was talking foster care for her. I feel better about giving you guys full custody then I did about signing her over to strangers." He said.

I recoiled as if I had been slapped. Carlisle was already on his phone to get the social worker back up here. Ten minutes later pending a home visit and a judge signing off on it Jasper and I was Alice's legal guardians.

Jasper sat stunned at what had just happened. After they brought Esme back to her room she seemed very lucid and remembered present day. She was angry when the Carlisle told her Alice would be living with us for a while and ordered me out of her room. I walked into the hall intending to wait on Jasper but he left with me. We were both upset by today's events.

He was hurt that his dad could just give away another daughter like that. I felt weird about signing the paperwork giving me legal guardianship of Alice but if we hadn't done it Alice would have been placed in foster care. The social worker was waiting like a vulture for us and accosted us as soon as we stepped into the hall. She followed us to the house and prowled around checking over every square inch of the house.

I was so glad I had gone overboard with baby proofing and that Jasper had insisted on buying new furniture and things for her. Finally after three hours of searching the house and yard the worker was satisfied. She warned that she would be making a few unannounced visits to the house and if she found anything out of order she would remove Alice from our care. I assured her that this was how the house always looked and gently reminded her that this visit had been unannounced as well. Alice woke up from her nap and I went to change her diaper. The social worker stripped Alice down and she checked every inch of her for signs of abuse or neglect.

Alice screamed and reached for me. Tears flowed down my face as I stood there rooted to the floor trying to reassure Alice that everything was going to be ok until that horrible woman was done. I told her I would dress Alice and took the trembling little naked girl wrapping her in a blanket as I sat and rocked, singing Jasper's lullaby to her. The woman watched me closely. I ignored her and focused solely on Alice.

When I finally got Alice calm I took her to her bed and dressed her. When I picked Alice up and carried her past the worker she cowered into me. I took Alice down stairs and passed her off to Jasper. He and Harry took her to the kitchen to feed her. We could hear her happily babbling to her Jaz and Pop-Pop.

I lead the worker onto the porch and offered her the rocking chair. She sat down stiffly.

"Everything seems in order Ms. Swan." She sneered.

"Good. Have I done something to offend you? You have not been friendly with me since I met you. I want you to know that Alice has been through a lot today. Her mother yelling in the car scared her. Then you taking her clothes off and looking her over without talking to her and letting her know that you weren't going to hurt her. Ma'am I'm not trying to upset you but you had Alice terrified." I said as another tear streaked down my face.

"Well, Ms. Swan. I have heard all about you and _your_ family. You marry and divorce one brother, get him arrested, treat my daughter like trash, and now you're shacking up with the other brother. It just seems to me you change your mind a lot." She spat.

"I don't know your daughter." I said calmly.

"You do too. Sarah was working with Dr. Cullen and dating his son. Your little stunt to put him in jail devastated her." She said standing up to leave, "I mean it when I say if I find anything out of place I will take her from you. Be in my office at 10:00 am tomorrow and bring the child with you."

"Yes ma'am!" I said hating that I had to be nice to this ol' cow but knowing it was for Alice made it possible.

I walked in to see Jasper with his cellphone standing by the door, "I recorded that conversation. We need to get a new worker. This woman has a conflict of interest." He said pulling me into his arms, "I don't know how you handled not tearing her head off."

"I couldn't because Alice needs me. If I antagonize that woman, she has the authority to take Alice. Although we could contest it and get her back, poor Ali would still be traumatized. I won't do that to her. I would do anything for Alice." I told him.

"Pop-Pop." Alice chanted as she held Harry be the finger leading him from room to room.

As I watched the sweet little girl I started to calm down. It had been a long day and it was just after lunch time. I hated having to take Alice to see that wretched excuse for a human being tomorrow but while we were meeting with The worker and the judge, dad would be playing the tape for her supervisor and since she had failed to recuse herself from a situation she was having a hard time being objective in then it would be done for her.

Harry stayed and played with Alice all day. Dad come over after work and was furious that Carlisle had just signed over his daughter and that Sarah's mother was the case worker. Jasper was unusually quiet not that anyone blamed him but we were all worried. He never took his eyes off of Alice until she went down for a nap and then he left with out a word. I wondered how he felt about being a co-guardian of Alice. It would have made sense to sign her over to him alone not me.

Later in the afternoon he came back and parked himself on the couch. After Alice went to bed we sat in the living room and Jasper spoke up. "We have to do whatever it takes to keep Alice safe. I am putting school of hold. I have taken a job working as a legal assistant to Anthony Masen." I opened my mouth to protest but Jasper placed a single finger against my lips. "Bells, it's not forever, it's just until we get Ali settled. I still plan to get my law degree." He said, "The community college had a few of the courses I need so I will transfer to this college and then next summer I will go take the courses I need and can't get here then when I finish school I can take the bar exam and go to work with Masen's practice. I played the recording for him and he is taking care of getting her removed from Ali's case. We will still meet at ten but there will be a new worker. The check list is the only thing the judge will see, her personal notes will be discarded. She will be reprimanded for not recusing herself. I'm sorry, I have been so distant. When that worker asked me what I did for a living and found out I was in law school and was just home for the summer she smirked and asked me how I was going to have care of a baby being out of town all the time. She asked if it was just going to fall on my girlfriend the writer. She was going to use that against us. I don't want to leave you with this responsibility alone, Bella. I will be here to help you." He said.

I couldn't argue with him. It was a well thought out plan. I would have Jasper here with me longer. I smiled at that thought. We discussed tomorrow and made plans for the next evening. After meeting with the social worker and the judge I would bring Alice home and Jasper would go to work. Everyone would meet back here for supper around six.

After everyone had gone home for the night Jasper and I stood in Alice's door way and watched the sleeping child. She looked so peaceful. I looked up at Jasper and whispered, "No matter what, she will always come first with me." A smile flickered across his face and he pulled me snuggly into him, "From now on she has a stable home here. Mom and dad don't realize what a treasure she is." After staring at her for ten minutes more Jasper lead me off to our room. That night he just held me tight. There were no sexual undertones it was just two people completely in love drawing strength from the other. We both fell into a restless sleep fearing tomorrow.

I woke early and went to start the coffee. I paused at Alice's door. She was stirring but not really awake so I crept in and covered her with her blanket and patted her until she settled down and was sound asleep again. I turned to see Jasper in the doorway smiling tenderly. I smiled and walked down stairs with him.

He made coffee while I made pancakes and bacon we had just finished them up when we heard Alice babbling through the baby monitor. Jasper sprinted out of the kitchen to get his baby sister. I cut her pancake up and fixed her a sippy cup of apple juice. She was chattering to Jasper and giggling. I smiled as she spotted the food on her tray. She began squealing, "cake-cake!" happily. We giggled at her and watched her eat. There was a knock at the door when I answered it I froze in fear.

It was another social worker. She must have recognized the terror on my face because her face softened into a smile.

"I'm Lillian May from social services. I am here to reevaluate your home. The other worker has been dismissed from the case due to misconduct with your family." She told me as we heard Alice squeal,

"More cake cake!" then heard Jasper's happy laughter

"You got it Ali!" I lead her into the room and his face fell and he looked like he might be sick.

"Jaz, it's alright! They are redoing the home visit since they threw everything that the last one did." I reassured him.

I lead Lillian over to Alice who was curious about Lillian. "Hi, Alice I'm Lillian." She cooed, "It seems you have two people here who adore you." She said the last part was more for us then her.

I lead her to the kitchen with Jasper standing in the doorway and poured her some coffee, "Please relax, you two are good with her. I am here to help you make your house safe for Alice. I have noticed plugin covers and baby gates, high chain locks on outside doors, cabinet locks. You guys have a handle on this. I need to take a look around to see if there's anything you maybe didn't think of. Which I highly doubt there is. Then I will need for one of you to remove her clothing so I can check for signs of abuse or neglect. I don't expect to find anything it's just what we have to do. I always find in cases like these it is easier on the child to have some one they trust do it and I will observe." She smiled.

I gave her a tour of the house. When we came back down Jasper and Alice were on the porch swing.

"I need to give her a bath and get her ready for the day. Would you mind looking her over after her bath. She's always calm when I put lotion on her after a bath. She has been through so much yesterday." I pleaded.

"That sounds fine. I want Alice to be as comfortable as possible." Lillian said, " While Bella is giving Alice a bath why don't we get our interview over with." She said turning to Jasper. I took Alice into the kitchen to bath her so I could listen to them.

"Jasper, I know you are a college student. How are you planning to proceed now?" She asked.

"Yesterday I talked to Anthony Masen and I am going to be his assistant. I am going to go to the local college and then there are a few classes that I will have to go out of state to get but I plan to do that during the summer when Bella's on her summer break. I will do whatever it takes to keep Alice safe, happy and with us even if it means being done with college." He said.

"Jasper, I think it would be fine for you to continue in your college. From what I understand Bella is going to be taking college courses this fall as well. There is nothing wrong with you two furthering your education." She assured.

"It's not fair to Bella for me to leave her here and who would help her?" He said.

I wrapped Alice in a soft towel and marched the room, "Jaz, I have Harry and Charlie to help me. I have already talked to them. You aren't quitting school. I will start school as planned and I really think you should go back to college instead of switching to a lesser school. We will come up on breaks and you can come home more frequently. Jaz this will work. Harry is going to stay with Alice through the three hours of classes on Tuesday and Thursday and then I have online classes this semester. Next semester I am going to take all online courses. I have all but finished the Bully Books and then I won't have another deadline until the middle of next summer. I have this figured out. I need you to finish law school Jaz when I start teaching I want to be able to keep writing children's books but with Alice and teaching I need you to be home by then. If you are running back and forth taking one class at a time you won't be finished and I will have to give up on writing." I said hoping he would still follow his dreams.

"This situation has been dumped on you and no one expects you to give up on your dreams. I will ensure that you have assistance with daycare. Do you need help financially?" She asked us.

"No. I have written several popular children's books and am doing quite well financially. I don't need daycare either. Ali is going to hang out with her pop-pop. The only thing it will cost me is lunch. I will let you know if that changes." I said.

"It sounds like you have everything figured out." Lillian said.

I started rubbing Alice's lotion on to Alice under Lillian's careful eyes and Jasper went to get her clothes. After I had dressed Alice we all left the house for Lillian's office to meet the judge.

I carried Alice into the office where the judge was already seated. Lillian and Jasper sat on either side of me. Lillian told the judge that Alice would be in great hands if he signed off on this. He asked Jasper and I each what our plans where. He seemed ok with Jasper continuing his law degree. He told Jasper that he knew it was rough to be away from family while finishing a degree. He told me that he was impressed that I was willing to let him finish school. He then signed off on Alice but I was shocked that by doing so he was permanently terminating Carlisle and Esme's parental rights. He also told us to consider adopting her.

My head was spinning as Jasper drove us home. I couldn't wrap my head around someone just giving up their child. We both kept glancing back at Alice who was happily babbling to her doll.


	6. Chapter 6

**** AN-Last chapter was very fast paced and this chapter will be fast paced too.**

_recap_

_I carried Alice into the office where the judge was already seated. Lillian and Jasper sat on either side of me. Lillian told the judge that Alice would be in great hands if he signed off on this. He asked Jasper and I each what our plans where. He seemed ok with Jasper continuing his law degree. He told Jasper that he knew it was rough to be away from family while finishing a degree. He told me that he was impressed that I was willing to let him finish school. He then signed off on Alice but I was shocked that by doing so he was permanently terminating Carlisle and Esme's parental rights. He also told us to consider adopting her._

_My head was spinning as Jasper drove us home. I couldn't wrap my head around someone just giving up their child. We both kept glancing back at Alice who was happily babbling to her doll._

Bella's POV

We brought Alice home and put her down for a nap. I could tell Jasper didn't want to leave so I reassured, "Jaz, she's ok."

"I know it's just he didn't even fight for her." he whispered brokenly.

"I know. Jaz he has a lot on his plate right now with the hospital and Esme. I don't think he's thinking clearly right now." I tried to sooth.

"Bells, don't make excuses for him." Jasper growled, "Carlisle is just a selfish Ass. He never wanted kids he just got saddled with them. He was relieved when Victoria took Bree and to be quite honest, I think he was disappointed that she didn't take me too. That's why I was dumped off on your dad. Charlie has been more of a father to me than Carlisle ever has." Then stormed out the door.

I stood there shaking. Jasper had never used that tone with me before. I had only heard him use that tone a few times. One was with Emmett when he lost me at a party and the other was with Edward after he messed up so bad. I sat down of the couch miserably with tears threatening to fall listening for his truck to roar to life but then I heard him walk back into the house.

"Bells?" He whispered softly then pulled me into his arms, "I'm sorry! I had no right to speak to you that way. Please forgive me." he pleaded.

"There's nothing to forgive, Jaz. You are stressed out and you thought I was defending Carlisle's actions. I'm not but I don't think we know the whole story." I said.

"Yes, I am stressed but that doesn't give me the right to take it out on you." He said.

"You're forgiven! You are going to be late if you don't get. Why don't we send the company home when Ali goes to bed and then we can figure everything out then."

"Ok. There is alot to discuss. I love you. I'll see you at 5." he said placing a long slow kiss on my lips that had me wanting to take him upstairs.

"I love you too." I smiled.

I followed him on to the porch and waved as he drove away. Oh, how I loved that man! I thought to myself dreamily. I watched until his truck was out of sight then I called dad for an update from Mike.

"Mike found the pageant circuit that Bree was in. He is tracking down leads now. Everyone in the circuit was under the impression that Victoria was told to "take the brat and get out." There is one older woman that said that Victoria told that she had a son she wasn't allowed to see. She said Carlisle told her that he needed Jasper to carry on the family name and that if she ever came back to try to see him that he would have her locked in a psych ward and she would never see either of the kids again. She said Victoria put money in Jasper's bank account every time she got money. Mike is going to the court house to see what he can find out in the public records and see if Carlisle signed the forms necessary to change Bree's last name. Do you think he signed her away like that?"

"Dad, last week I wouldn't have thought so but now I think it's very possible. Today I found out that he signed over his parental rights of Alice to the State. The judge encouraged us to consider adopting her." I informed him, "I knew he was going to give Jaz and I guardianship but I didn't think he would really give up his rights totally. But he did."

"He did what? What was he thinking?" Dad spluttered. "I think I need to have a talk with Carlisle."

"Wait! Just leave it alone. I don't want to do anything that might jeopardize Ali's situation. Jaz and I are only her guardians. We still have to discuss adoption. Please don't cause any drama right now." I begged.

"I think it would be wise to get her adopted before Edward gets out of jail. He may try to start trouble." he reasoned.

"That's kind of what I was thinking. I still have to talk to Jaz." I said.

"Why don't Harry and I keep Ali entertained and you two can talk about things." he asked.

"That sounds great! Thanks dad!" I said.

"I'll see you tonight kiddo!" He said before hanging up.

I went to the computer sat down to put the finishing touches on the Bully Books that my publisher had ask for, a half hour later I emailed two finished books to her and she called me almost immediately.

"Bella, these are wonderful. I just read the read the children's book and glanced over the one for older children. You should branch in to books for older kids maybe even young adult books." My very excitable publisher bubbled.

"Kate, I think I will stick to children's books. I enjoy writing them. Also I won't have as much time as I use to. Do you remember Alice?" I asked

"Yes, she was the reason you wrote your first book. You wrote it about her and you're brother-in-law when she was born." Kate said.

"Jasper and I are her guardians." I said.

"Jasper? You mean Edward, don't you?" Kate said confused.

"No, I mean Jasper. Kate, so much has happened since we last spoke. Edward cheated on me so I divorced him. I chose to stay at the farm and he moved in with his mom. Jasper came home from school for the summer and is staying here too. Jasper and I are dating now. Jasper and I are now guardians of Alice and we may be adopting her." I recapped.

"What? Why! Did something happen to Carlisle and Esme?" She asked.

"Esme has some health issues and Carlisle chose to keep her at home and signed Ali over to the state." I said. After giving her a detailed recap of events ranging from my hospital stay and the reason for it to Esme's illness to looking for Jasper's sister and what it looks like Carlisle did she was shocked.

"It sounds like a good week on The Young and The Restless. You should put it in to book form." she said.

"No! I don't want my personal life out there for everyone to see. I told you because we are friends." I said firmly.

"I know! But it would make a great book but I understand!" she said. After a few more minutes of small talk we ended our conversation.

Alice woke up around 3:30 and then we went to see the chickens. I laughed as she squealed in delight when I poured the chicken feed and she got to see them all running/flying to eat. We pet the horses that were lazily grazing by the fence. Alice loved on them for quiet a while before I took her to the front yard. We sat under the huge oak tree and she played in the grass. I was so wrapped up in Alice that I hadn't heard Jasper drive up. I'm not sure how long he had been watching us. I noticed him when I heard him chuckling as he walked over to us.

"Hey! How was your day?" he asked lovingly dropping to the ground with us.

"Good! I finished my Bully Books and talked to my publisher. Ali and I feed the chickens, gave the horses some lovin', and played out here in the shade. Ya know we should get her a swing to put out here." I answered him.

"We should! Hey Bells, I called Harry today. He and Charlie and going to play with Ali tonight so we can discuss things." he began.

"Is it about the judges suggestion?" I pause seeing him nod, " I called dad for the exact same reason. We need to talk but not around Ali." I told him.

We played with Alice until Dad and Harry got to the house.

It seemed Dad and Harry had coordinated and took care of supper. They were already laying it out on the picnic table when we reached them. Harry had already grabbed "his Little Baby Doll's" high chair. She was reaching for him squealing for her Pop so he chuckled and swiped her from me as soon as I got with in reach.

We sat down and fixed our plates. I was amazed at how easy the conversations went and how much lighter I felt after an evening of laughter with Dad and Harry. It seemed Harry had become a member of the family. Jasper called him Pop's half the time and Alice called him her Pop!

Jasper and I where building our family from pieces of others. Harry lost his family and had been alone in the world for years, Jasper was sort of forgotten by his family, Alice was given away by the people who were supposed to love her the most, Dad and I lost mom and while I never felt anything but love we were still missing a member. To look around our table you would see two grandfathers playing with their granddaughter and a happy couple watching over their family. I know technically Harry and Charlie aren't really Alice's grandpa's by blood but they are the closest thing to grandparents Alice has.

Jasper took my hand and we walked out to the barn to discuss Alice's future.

I was suddenly nervous. What if he didn't think adopting her was the right thing to do. I wanted to adopt her so no one could take her away from us. I looked into his eyes and saw the same storm of emotion that was in mine.

"Bells, I talked to Anthony today about the judges suggestion. I want to adopt Alice. It's the only way to ensure that she stays with us. I am going to have him represent us if you want to adopt her with me. If not I will adopt her myself but I can't stand the thought of..." he began.

"Jaz, I want to adopt her too. I love Alice and I want to make sure she is safe. You're not in this alone. Tell me how Anthony thought best to proceed." I said interrupting him and putting his fears to rest.

"He said it should be fairly simple. He will draw up the paperwork and then we will meet with a family court judge. He wants to meet with us. We are scheduled to meet with him first thing in the morning. Pop's said he could watch Alice. I am so glad you are doing this with me. We meet with him at eight. He said there was something we needed to discuss that concerned both of us so he wanted to discuss it with both of us." he said.

"Well, alright then I guess we have a plan. Let's get back to our kiddo and the Grandpa's." I said taking his hand pulling him back to the house to steal Alice away from her Pop.

"You know she's ok with them." he chuckled at how eager I was to see my soon to be daughter. I loved Alice and since her 'parents' abandoned her and I use the term parents loosely, I was fiercely protective. I was falling into the mother role easily.

"I know that!" I said dragging him a little faster.

When we got back to the house Alice was leading Pops by the finger through a sprinkler and dad was sitting on the front steps laughing at them.

"Well, I guess she's well on her was to being spoiled!" Jasper chuckled taking a seat next to dad. I delighted in the happy squeals of laughter. Pops was laughing at Alice not caring in the least that his clothes were wet. I snapped some pictures with my cell phone.

"Ali's birthday is June 20th we need to plan her a party." Jasper mused.

"We should call Emmett and Rose and invite them. Dad and Pops are of course invited. We can just do a small party here!" I said.

"Do we invite mom and dad?" Jasper asked uncertainly.

"I don't know! I really don't think it's a good idea. What do you, think? I guess we have a little time to figure it out." I said. I didn't know how to proceed. Would Carlisle even bother to show up?

"Maybe we should talk to Anthony about it." Jasper suggested.

I got out my phone and called Rosalie's cell phone and walked into the house. I watched Alice and Pops out the window.

"Hey Bella! What's up?" She asked.

"Well, alot actually!" I said, "Esme has been diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer's Disease. Her mind is deteriorating fast. She thinks Jaz and Edward are in high school, she didn't recognize Jaz the last time she saw him. She doesn't remember Alice at all. She told Jaz that she couldn't baby sit his daughter anymore. Jaz is devastated." I told her.

"Oh, poor Jaz! He's lost 2 mom's now. He was so close to Esme. I noticed through the whole situation with you and Edward that she seemed to ignore Jaz. I thought it was weird. I wonder if it was starting to take her mind then." she said, "So how's Carlisle handling this?"

"Well, he was told that Alice was not safe with Esme." I began.

"Oh no! Is he going to have to put Esme in a home?" she asked.

"No. He signed Alice over to the state." I started.

"You're kidding!" She interrupted shocked.

"Jaz and I have guardianship as of right now and are going to adopt her." I said.

"What?" she screeched, "You all are to young to be parents. Is Jaz quitting school? Wow, that's just...wow!"

"Breathe, Rose! I'll admit. I always thought I would be older before I started a family but Ali needs me. Jaz is staying in school and..." I was interrupted.

"So he gets to follow his dreams? Well what about you?" she huffed.

"I am still enrolling in classes. Harry and Dad are helping watch Ali while I am in school. Please don't hassle Jaz. I had to talk him into staying in school. He really wanted to quit. When he is done with school he will be able to better provide for Alice. We aren't giving up our dreams we are just incorporating Ali into them." I said, "What I called about is Ali's birthday is on the 20th and I am planning a small party for her that weekend so I wanted to invite you and Em."

"We'll be there!" She said.

"Why don't you guys stay the whole weekend? You can stay with Jaz and me. I'll get the guest room all made up for you." I said.

"So it's the guestroom now instead of Jasper's room?" She teased, "Alright we'll be there around 8:30 Friday evening. I have to get back to work now so see ya later."

"OK! Bye!" I said hanging up. I wondered what the meeting would with Anthony would hold. As I watched Ali I started to feel panic creeping in. What if the judge decided we were too young to be parents and took Ali? If they placed her in some strangers home she would be petrified. I couldn't bare the thought of her scared, hurt, or sad! I was pulled from my thoughts by two strong arms wrapping around me.

"Don't worry! It's going to be alright." Jaz whispered in my ear.

"What if they take her, Jaz?" I said weakly.

"They won't! Anthony's partner Jay Jenkins specializes in adoptions and custody cases. He is meeting with us tomorrow too. They are both going to work with us to make sure we get Alice. I told them we would do whatever it took to keep her." He soothed.

"Ok!" I said feeling alittle better but not much.

"It's time to dry Alice and Pops off. I'm going to get him some dry clothes." He chuckled.

"I'll get the towels. Put the clothes in the down stairs bathroom and I will send Pop's in." I said going to grab a couple of towels while Jasper grabbed Harry some clothes.

I walked outside and wrapped Ali in a towel and handed Harry his then pointed him to the downstairs bathroom. I carried Ali in to get her ready for bed while dad and Jasper headed to the living room. Pops met me by the stairs and dropped a kiss on Ali's cheek.

"Night Baby Doll." He said.

I took a very groggy little bundle upstairs and dressed her. She was asleep before I laid her in bed. I walked back down stairs just as dad was getting ready to leave. He had the late shift tonight. After a quick hug he was off to work. Harry and Jasper were watching an old horror movie on TV laughing at the guy on screen shouting, "Hello! Is anyone there?" and running to jump in his bed pulling the covers over his head.

"Yeah, your safe now! Cause everyone knows they can't get you when you're in the bed. Hey, quick pull the covers over your head so he can't see you!" Harry chuckled.

I snuggled into Jasper's chest and must have fallen asleep. The next thing I knew the alarm was going off and Jasper was gently waking me.

"It's time to get ready for our meeting! Pop's will be here in about 20 minutes." Jasper whispered softly as he skimmed his fingers up and down my arms. I smiled and pulled him in to a hug before getting up and heading to the shower. I showered quickly and padded back to the bedroom. I picked out a cream-colored crochet top with eyelet trim and my favorite pair of skinny jeans with and my go to beige strappy sandals. I brushed he hair and let my soft curls cascade down my back. Jasper came back in wearing his standard work attire, a white button down shirt, a pair of pressed black wrangler's and his freshly polished well-worn cowboy boots.

"Are you ready Darlin'? Pop's just pulled up." He said kissing my neck. I nodded and took his hand as we headed down stairs.

After giving Harry Ali's schedule we headed off to our meeting. As we walked up the door opened and Anthony let us in and locked it behind us. Jasper led me into a large room that was furnished like a living room. We sat of a suede leather sofa across from Anthony and an older gentleman dressed much like Jasper was.

"Bella, this is Jenks and you already know Anthony. Jenks, this is Bella." Jasper introduced.

"Hello!" I said polity shaking Jenks and Anthony's hands.

"Hello, Bella. I think this is a very admirable thing you two are doing. I don't foresee any problems. There is a good chance that the judge will sign off on the adoption with no issues. The only thing I can find that he could even remotely have an issue with is the fact that you two aren't married. If he has this problem that one of you will precede with the adoption or you two could get married. Any ideas how you would prefer to proceed?" Jenks asked us getting straight to the point.

"Can we have some time to decide that?" I asked. I never even thought of the possibility of our marital status being a factor in the judge's decision.

"Of course! I contacted your case worker, Mrs. May and we will be drawing up the adoption paperwork. I need your signatures and hopefully the judge will sign off on it." Jenks said, "I know I have thrown alot of information at you. Jasper take the day off and you two discuss everything and I will have paperwork for you all tomorrow."

Jasper lead me out to the car and we drove home to find Ali's asleep on Pops' chest. He was stretched out on the couch asleep. I snapped a picture. Jasper went to take his boots off and I sat on the porch swing. He came back down and sat beside me.

"So if the judge doesn't sign off on both of us adopting Ali. Who do you want to proceed?" I said.

"There is another option." Jasper almost whispered.

"Jaz, do you really want to go there so soon?" I asked. I wanted nothing more then to be his wife but I wasn't sure where his head was. Was this just about Alice or was this about me. He slipped off the swing and knelt in front of me.

"Bella, I am sure about you!" He took my hand and pulled out the most beautiful ring I had ever seen, "You are all I ever wanted and the only one that I could ever imagine a future with. I can't promise you it will always be easy because you and I know life isn't easy and there are times that it's unkind. I know there are details that need worked out but with you by my side I have always been able to get through anything. I love you! I always have and always will. Marry me, Bella!" He asked. He eyes shimmering with excitement his hands trembling as they held the ring just at the end of my finger.

"Jaz, I...Are you sure? Is this... Is this about keeping Alice safe with us?" I stammered. I watched him carefully as he answered me.

"Bella I have had alot of time to think about this. I have dreamed of marrying you since we were kids I was just too stubborn to admit it. I planned on asking you to marry me before I left for college. I was working on this grand romantic proposal. I have botched this proposal so badly... I can't believe I screwed this up so bad. Please Bella..." I interrupted his berating himself.

"Jaz! Yes! I would love to marry you!" I said letting him slide the ring in place. "Your proposal was perfect. I shouldn't have questioned you." I said, "I want to keep it simple and not tell everyone so there is no judgment when you go back to school. Just the judge and the witnesses after you finish your degree then we can have a wedding and let everyone know!"

"So it will be a secret? I want everyone to know you are mine!" He said looking like someone kicked his puppy.

"We will have an engagement party at the end of the summer. Everyone already knows that I am yours." I said.

He perked up at that, "So you will wear your ring?"

"Of course!" I said.

"I just caught the tail of that conversation. Are you two getting married?" Dad asked stoically.

"Yes! We are!" I said excitedly.

"Are you two sure about this? It's so soon after Bella's divorce and your relationship is still so new. Why now?" he said.

"Because we love each other! I know this is happening very fast but when it's right you just know! I have loved your daughter forever. I hadn't planned on asking her today but the moment was right!" Jasper said sliding into the swing beside me.

Dad sat down in the rocking chair without a word and just stared at us the way he stared at a suspect in his interrogation room. I sat up a little straighter there was no way he was going to make me squirm. I felt Jasper trying to follow my lead but he was rattled. I mirrored dad's stare that seemed to bore right through you into the darkest recesses of you where all the good secrets where hidden until he finally caved and looked away.

"Well," dad huffed then grinned, "It's about time! Welcome to the family, Jasper!"

Jasper let out a long sigh and grinned, "You had me worried for a second."

"I know! I always wanted to do that but I was threatened with my life the first time around." he grinned looking at me. I gave his my best icy glare to wipe that stupid grin off his face.

"Ah...Sorry! I shouldn't have done that to you, Jasper. I am truly happy for the both you." he said trying to gain my favor again, "So when is the wedding?"

"Soon," I said, "I want to be married before the adoption process begins and before Jaz leaves for school." I said.

"He's still leaving?" Dad said.

"Yes. He is finishing his degree. Jaz will be able to better provide for Ali and I once he finishes school and he only has 2 semesters left thanks to the summers he spent in class. He was going to propose to me before he left for school anyway since it looks better to the judge hearing the Alice's adoption case if we are married we are having a quiet ceremony. We are going to have an engagement party at the end of the summer then we will have a wedding after Jaz is done with school. We need 2 witnesses." I said.

"Ok. I'll be a witness and keep your secret." Dad said.

"How about we ask Pop's to be the second witness?" Jasper asked.

"That's kinda perfect!" I said, "The two people we trust most in the world."

"Well, Shall we call Jenks? This may change things with the adoption paperwork." Jasper said smiling.

"Well, there you all are. Sorry I fell asleep. Ali was still sleepy. I put her in her bed!" Harry said, "How'd it go? You're looking happy so I'm guessin' great."

"Well, it went alright. I just asked Bella to marry me. We want to be married before the adoption process starts and before I have to go back to school. I will still be leaving to finish my degree. So I will be able to better provide for Bella and Alice when I am finished with school. I was going to propose to me before he left for school anyway since it looks better to the judge hearing the Alice's adoption case if we are married. We want a private ceremony. We are going to have an engagement party at the end of the summer then we will have a wedding after I finish school. We need 2 witnesses. Charlie is one and we would like you to be the other!" Jasper said.

"Why is it a secret?" Harry asked thoughtfully.

"This is a small town and is filled with small-minded very judgmental people. If people know we are married and then Jaz leaves to go back to school they are going to judge him harshly and rumors of infidelity will fly. It's just easier this way! Like Jaz said, before he leaves we are going to have an _engagement _party and when he is finished with school next summer then we will have a wedding." I said hoping to make him understand.

****A/N**(I know it takes longer to get a law degree that that and that there is a waiting period after a divorce before you can get remarried but for this story I am ignoring that reality! There will be plenty of reality I will probably ignore!)**

"I see. I will be a witness!" Harry said.

Jasper called Jenks and Anthony and they said that our marriage would solidify our case. They even called and arranged for us to be married this afternoon at two o'clock here at the farm. Things were falling into place so easily. Dad and Harry promised to be back then and took off.

Jasper and I just spent the day playing with Alice. Soon we would be husband and wife and shortly after that Alice would become our daughter. I was so thankful for everything God had blessed me with. Pops and I were currently watching Ali and Jasper wrestling. Ali was winning! She was giggling and squealing when the judge pulled up with Jenks and Anthony. They chuckled and joined us on the porch. Jasper scooped Ali up and passed her off to me while he brushed off the dirt and grass that was all over him.

"You have time to change. We are early. I see Ali was showing you who was boss." Anthony chuckled as Jasper took off.

"That girl has got him wrapped around her finger." Pops said.

"She always has!" I mused thinking about them.

"This is Judge Emily Uley. She will be officiating today and here is your marriage license, Bella." Jenks said handing it to me, "And you must be Ali! You are just the sweetest little thing." He said to Ali who was shyly grinning at him while keeping a death grip on me.

"Thank you for doing this! I know your schedule was probably busy." I said.

"My afternoon was free. I would much rather get out of the office then be stuck at my desk doing paperwork. Besides, Jenks helped my husband and I adopt our twins so I will do what I can to help him out. Your welcome though." She said smiling kindly.

Dad pulled up and Pops made a beeline for his truck. They returned carrying two large boxes from the diner in town and began setting it out on the picnic table. There was an angel food cake with strawberries, a large container of BBQ ribs, potato salad, baked beans, dinner rolls and a container of sweet tea." Then Dad handed me a bouquet of daisies sprinkled with wildflowers. "Jasper asked me to get you these. Harry and I got the rest. I know it's not great but it's the best we could do while keeping all this quiet." Dad said looking over the table wistfully.

"It's perfect, Dad! And way more then I expected!" I said hugging him. Ali latched on to him so I passed her off. Jasper came out in a clean pair of jeans and a nice light gray polo shirt. I had changed into a pale yellow cotton sundress with tiny blue flowers on it while he and Ali were wrestling. Ali was in a light pink sundress with Jasper's cowboy hat she had stolen and refused to take off. It swallowed her but she still looked adorable in it.

"Are we ready?" Emily said.

"Yes." Jasper and I said as we assembled in front of her.

Jasper's POV

Emily smiled, "It is always a rare honor to join a couple that are so completely devoted to each other. Watching the two of you I see a unique bond that gives me great joy to see. I know you haven't had time to prepare formal vows so Bella gaze into each Jasper's eyes and pour your heart out to him."

"Jaz, I have loved you since before I knew what love meant. You have always been my best friend. The only one I trusted my secrets to. You have never failed to be there for me even at great personal sacrifice. I love you and I will spend the rest of my life showing you how wonderful you are!" She smiled as a single tear rolled down her cheek.

Emily handed her a ring that Charlie slipped of his hand and offered to us and asked, "Bella, place this ring on Jasper's left hand. Do you promise to love only him for the rest of your life forsaking all others will you give him your heart?"

"I do." Bella said slipping the ring on my finger.

"Jasper, I now ask you to pour your heart out to Bella." Emily said.

"Bella, I have loved you for so long. Once I realized I loved you I though it was then too late. I thought I missed my chance. I know how lucky I am that you are mine. You are the love of my life and I will devote the rest of my days to make you happy." I finished in a whisper my voice tight with emotion.

Emily handed me Bella's mother's wedding ring both Bella and I flashed a look to Charlie who gave us a watery smile then Emily asked, "Jasper place this ring on Bella's left hand. Do you promise to love only her for the rest of your life forsaking all others will you give her your heart?"

"I do." I said sliding the ring in the place that it would stay always.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride." Emily said.

I pulled Bells into me for a sweet kiss, there would after all be time for a more sensual kiss later after Ali was asleep and the witnesses had gone home.

We ask Emily to stay for lunch and were delighted when she accepted. Bella started fixing Alice's plate so I pulled Charlie to the side and handed him his ring back.

"Charlie you have worn Renee's ring on a chain and yours on your finger ever since I can remember. I know how much Renee's ring means to Bella but I can't take your ring Charlie. I see how much it means to you."

"Jasper, I want you to keep it. Renee loved you. Did I ever tell you that? She kept you while Carlisle and Victoria were at Medical conferences. She would sing to you as she rocked you for hours after you had fallen asleep. She always said you and our baby would be best friends. Then when she found our Bella was a girl she used to wonder if you two would ever be more that friends. She used to whisper to you while she rocked you. She would tell you to always take care of her baby girl. She would have wanted you two to have the rings." He said.

"Thank you!" I whispered, "I never knew about Renee."

"Yes, you were the last baby she ever held. She was gone before she could ever see Bella. She was right though. You were best friends and you always did take care of her baby girl and I know you always will." He gave me a watery smiled. Now it was my turn to be misty eyed. A love for the woman I couldn't remember swelled my heart Bella's mother had loved me unconditionally.

We walked back to the table and made a silent vow to Renee that I would take care of her daughter always and forever as I wrapped my arms around Bella for a quick hug and sat down beside my beautiful wife. I fixed my plate happier then I have ever been before. I looked around the table at the people who had enriched my life in various ways: Charlie, the father of my wife and someone who always seemed to point me in the right direction; Harry, whom although I haven't known him long has come to be like a father to me while I was dying inside over Bella and Edward. While I was away at college we talked every evening. He was the one I called for fatherly advice; my bosses and friends, Anthony and Jenks were helping Bella and I to adopt Alice and were instrumental in setting up this marriage; Then there was Emily, one of Jenks' closest friends who with one look at us could see Bella and my bond. She helped join our lives forever; and most importantly there was Bella and Alice! The two people my world revolved around.

Emily and Anthony left after we ate and Harry helped clean up. Alice had fallen asleep so I had taken her to her room then went to help clean up. Charlie and Harry left leaving Bella and I alone with Jenks.

"I called Lillian and changed our meeting place. She is on her way out to help us draw up adoption papers." Jenks said.

"Wow, this is going quick." Bella said excitedly bouncing around the kitchen putting odds and ends of our lunch and wedding party away causing Jenks to chuckle.

"Bella come sit with Jasper and I. It's going to be okay. She is not doing a visit, she is just here to help you all adopt Alice." He said trying to sooth her.

"I can't just sit and be calm. I have so much nervous energy there's no way I could sit. I have some laundry to do. Let me know when Lilian gets here." She said bouncing upstairs with an empty laundry basket.

"She loves Ali so much. I think we will both feel better when she is legally ours." I said as Lillian appeared at the door.

"Lets make it happen then." Lillian said opening the screen door.

Bella flushed as she came down the stairs with our laundry, "Just a minute, I just need to toss this in the laundry room." She said as she stepped over the baby gate at the bottom of the stairs.

When she returned we all sat down around the dinning room table and drew up adoption papers. I was so relieved when Jenks printed the paperwork out on Bella's printer and we all four signed them. Jenks said he would file them at the courthouse and we would have a hearing date by noon tomorrow. I was hoping that all of this would be over soon. I just wanted to have my little family safe, happy, and together forever.

Bella was bursting with nervous energy after everyone left. She scrubbed every square inch of the house, did all of the laundry; we reorganized our room moving my clothes and dresser into the master bedroom. We swapped my bed and her bed out. When Alice woke up I took my girls into town.

We stopped to have my ring sized then we started planning Alice's birthday party. Some might say we went a little over the top but this was for Ali. We bought her a two tired pink princess cake. We then bought her a flowy pink princess dress, with ballet slippers and a tiara. I also slipped away while Bella was paying for the dress and bought a swing set, to be delivered and set up while the morning of the party. I was going to have Charlie take my girls to breakfast that morning while it was being set up.

We were having so much fun when we spotted Esme and Carlisle. Since I didn't know Esme's state of mind I was terrified and I didn't want to upset Ali seeing Esme either. Bella's eyes locked with mine and seemed to convey the same thoughts as I was having. I mouthed 'Go' then she bolted out of sight with Ali but I wasn't so lucky. Carlisle caught sight of me and led Esme over. Esme introduced herself and mused that she had a son named Jasper. She asked me if I worked with Carlisle. I told her that I did and Carlisle smiled sadly.

"How have you been?" He asked.

"I'm good. How have you been?" I asked spotting Bella slipping out the door.

"Oh, we've been good. Lot's of Drs appointments and therapy. How's Ali?" He asked softly.

"She's doing well. I really need to go. I can't be late for my meeting. It was good seeing you again. Take care!" I said as I quickly walked away. As I neared the truck I could see Bella strapping Ali in her car seat. I slid wordlessly into the drivers seat and we headed home. Bella kept her eyes focused on me.

"How was your mom?" she whispered.

"She didn't know me. She introduced herself and told me she had a son named Jasper. Carlisle asked about Ali. I told she was doing well and then left. It's so sad to see her like that. She truly doesn't remember having Ali." I answered dying inside. I felt Bella's hand squeeze mine. When we got home she put a sleeping Ali in bed and then snuggled against my side.

"That must have been hard for you to deal with today. Are you alright?" she asked softly.

"Yeah. I'll be alright. It just hurts so bad to see my mother like that. The fact that she doesn't know who I am kills me. It kind feels like dad and I are just acquaintances." I said trying to be honest when all I really wanted was to shield her from the truth.

"I hate that this! I wish there was something I could do." Bella soothed.

"You just being here with me is enough!" I smiled and pulled her into my lap holding her tight. I loved this woman with everything I had.

**SMALL TIME JUMP** THE FRIDAY NIGHT BEFORE ALI'S PARTY**

Charlie called to ask us to breakfast but I had a meeting with Jenks, who was actually swinging by to drop off Ali's birthday gift because he and his wife where heading out of town to see their daughter and grand-babies. I told Bella to take Ali and have fun.

Harry showed up with a Blueberry cheesecake and a giant pan of lasagna just as Bella was going to start cooking, "Pops, you don't have to bring us something every time you come over!" Bella said and he sat the pan and the cheesecake on the dining room table.

"I know but I love rocking my little Baby Doll to sleep and I always seem to be invading you at supper time. I really need to stop doing that." he said.

"You are welcome here anytime Pops!" I boomed knowing that Bella loved the old man just as much as I did.

"You have a standing invitation to supper every night until you get tired of us." Bella smiled pulling Pops in for a hug, "Besides that, Jaz and I get to take a walk in the evenings when you are here. You have no idea the gift that alone is. Tomorrow night, I am cooking you just bring you!"

"Alright!" Pops said.

Bella and I took a walk after diner. Pops had taken to eating supper with us and helping clean up and then rocking Ali after Bella gave her a bath. He said that she was to slippery for him to try to give her a bath. So while he was rocking her and putting her to bed I took advantage of the alone time with my lovely wife. We were walking hand in hand down to our favorite tree. We sat on its fallen trunk and Bella leaned into me. We loved the alone time that Pops was giving us.

Emmett and Rose pulled in as we were walking up.

"Where's Ali?" Emmett asked.

"Hopefully asleep instead of being spoiled rotten by Pops." I chuckled.

"Who?" Emmett and Rose asked in unison.

"Harry Clearwater! We have come to think of him as part of the family!" Bella said.

"Oh I remember Harry! He's a nice ol' man!" Rose said fondly.

"Yeah, don't let him hear you call him old! You'll never hear the end of it." I chuckled.

I helped Emmett grab their bags and we followed the girls into the house. Harry was laying in the recliner with Ali burrowed into his chest. Bella snapped a picture for Ali's baby book then carefully scooped Ali up. I carried the bags up to the guest room and said good night to Emmett and Rose who were exhausted from their drive. I leaned in the doorway of Ali's room seeing Bella lovingly tucked Ali in. We decided to just let Harry sleep. He seemed tired lately. I covered Pops up and Bella and I went to bed.

The next morning I dressed Ali while Bella took a shower and got ready. I took Ali down stairs quietly and gave her a sippy cup of juice and sat her on the floor with her toys in the corner of the kitchen then started the coffee. I was scrambling some eggs when Bella came down stairs.

"Morning! Pops is still in there snoring like a grizzly bear." she giggled kissing me softly, "I wish you could come with us."

"I know Darlin' but Jenk's is on his way out of town for a long week-end and needs this meeting today!" I fibbed.

"I know! Love you!" She said as she scooped Ali up and headed for the door.

I heard Harry shuffling around in the living room then he has leaning in the doorway.

"Come on in and sit down. We use this table in here for breakfast." I smiled.

"You know my momma loved to have meals in here. She used the dining room as a sewing room." he mused, "I remember laying in the floor watching momma work the foot petals."

"So did you all use the dinning room when you and your wife lived here?" I asked.

"No, Sue always thought it was a wasted space so I took it over. I guess you would say I had a man cave." Pops chuckled undoubtedly thinking of some random memory.

"I wonder if Bells would let me turn it into a man cave?" I joked.

"She probably would." Pops laughed, "But that would require you to be in the same house and not be in the same room. So I'm guessin' you won't do it!"

"Yeah your right!" I chuckled.

After breakfast Harry left and I showered dressed and changed. I walked out on the porch with my second cup of coffee as the delivery truck pulled up. The swing set arrived and assembly went very quickly. It took the three men forty-five minutes and they were gone.

I went inside and started setting up for the party. The white tablecloth was placed on the dining room table. The pink and purple plates, cups, napkins, and plastic silverware where distributed around the table. The streamers were hung and the Princess Centerpiece was in the middle of the table. The cake was due to be delivered later today and I had the fountain punch bowl thing set up and ready. I was coming out of the dining room to slide the door closed when Emmett and Rose came downstairs. It was around ten and I chuckled softly to myself thinking of Pops and Charlie's comments about the "crack if noon" comment.

"Wow! Did you do all this?" Rose asked in awe.

"Yeah, I want everything to be perfect for Ali." I grinned.

"Hey what was all the bangin' around outside this morning? It sounded like Bella on a mission to kill a spider." Emmett asked.

"Come here and I'll show ya!" I said closing the door to the dining room and leading them outside to show them Ali's new swing set just beyond the porch.

"Wow! You do know this is alittle over board, right? I mean she's 1!" Rose said.

"Yeah I know but she needed a swing." I said.

"And a baby swing hung on the porch wasn't enough? Can you all adopt me?" Emmett teased.

"No you're too bratty!" I picked back.

"Hey, look here comes Bells!" Emmett boomed bounding over the porch railing to meet Bella in the drive. Rose and I took the more civilized route down the porch steps. Rose scooped Ali into her arms and took her to her new swing set while Emmett enveloped Bells in a bear hug. As Bella and Emmett walked over to the swing set were Rose and I were standing the sun light glinted off Bella's ring. Rosalie's eyes narrowed as she charged over and grabbed Bella's left hand.

"When did this happen?" she demanded.

"I asked Bella to marry me a few days ago." I said conveniently leaving out the part about us being married the same day.

"So when is the wedding?" Rose chirped.

"Next summer after I finish school. Are you all ready for your wedding? It's just a three weeks away." I said shifting the focus off of us.

"Almost. Bella, you and I need to do your dress fitting and Jaz, you..." she was interrupted by Emmett.

"I have already filled him in and made the appointment. We are already planning the Bachelor Party!" Emmett crowed.

The girls giggled then Bella said smiling wickedly, "You know I have some Bachelorette Party ideas myself."

"Bella, Nothing too wild!" Emmett said.

"What!" Bella said innocently with a wicked grin on her face.

"I know you! Not to wild!" He repeated.

"Oh Yeah, We are partying! Our party will make the Hang Over movie's party look like a preschooler's birthday party." She crowed enjoying seeing Emmett's face go white. Since when did he get so responsible?

"Bells, Rose is Pr…" He said.

"Relax Em! We are going to have a spa day and dinner." She said, "Wait were you going to say pregnant!"

"Yes, I am!" Rose gushed, "About 12 weeks. I am so excited. You all are the first ones we have told. We aren't telling anyone until after the wedding! Now back to you and Bella!" Rose said realizing she had been side tracked, "You need to have a huge engagement party. We can invite all of our old friends. I'll get on that! Oh...uh...with your permission, of coarse."

"Yes, you can do that but wait to send out invitations until after Ali's adoption is underway. I don't want to do anything to jeopardize anything." Bella said quietly.

"Ok! I can deal with that." Rose said her eyes wide with excitement.

****Next Chapter will Ali's Adoption and Emmett and Rose's wedding!*****


	7. Chapter 7

**Remember how I said I would ignore reality from time to time? Well I'm at it again! So please remember that if 1+1 doesn't add up from time to time I am off in story land again! Ok guys I know I said Ali's party and Emmett and Rose's wedding but this story has taken a turn on me. I have had to scrap the time line for it. This Chapter I had decided Jasper had had enough drama and was going to give him a break but Carlisle had other ideas! Poor Jasper and Bella! This chapter had to be spilt into 2 separate chapters.**

Jasper's POV

The Cake had been delivered and Bella made the punch and started the fountain. Everyone had started to arrive for Ali's party. I was getting very nervous as everyone was bringing in huge boxes. I was relieved to see Lillian's small gift wrapped box.

Bella was calling for everyone to sit down so we could give Ali her personal princess cake. We sang happy birthday to Ali and Bella handed her the cake and she dove in head first. She had pink frosting everywhere. She was going to be sticky from head to toe. We laughed as Ali realized she had icing on her hands and started shaking her hands wildly sending icing flying everywhere. Bella grabbed a rag and was attempting to capture one of her flying hands. By the time Bella got Ali cleaned up Bella had clumps of icing in her hair, a smear of icing acrossed her cheek, and a face print on her shirt from were Ali wiped her face. I cut the icing off the remainder of Ali's cake so she would eat it then tried to help Bella clean up. She laughed as I wiped her face and waved off my efforts.

"It's hopeless! I'll shower at nap time." She smiled as she pulled her hair into a messy knot.

After everyone had cake we let Ali start opening her gifts. The first gift was from Pops and he got her a Little Tikes Kitchen set.

He smiled and said, "She loves to mimic you two in the kitchen I thought this would entertain her."

"Thank you Pops. We'll put it in her play area." I said watching Ali pound on the box.

Next was Charlie's gift and Ali squealed as she climbed into the pink power wheels car that was already assembled, "I wanted to buy her here first car!" He said.

"Jaz, disconnect the battery! I don't want her to get hurt!" Bells Fussed.

"I already disconnected the battery! I figure she can play in it now and then when she's a little older then she can drive it." Charlie said.

"Ok! Thank you Dad!" Bells said.

Emmett and Rose got her a doll bed, swing, and changing table set. That will go in the play area too. Lillian got Ali a soft doll that was just the right size for her to hold. Bella and I got Ali a rocking horse that we found in an antique shop that would go in the living room.

Emmett and I took the doll set and the kitchen set to the play area between the living room and the kitchen and started putting them together while everyone watched Ali play. Everyone started to slowly trickle out when Ali fell asleep in the car Charlie had bought her while clutching the doll that she received from Lillian. Bella thanked everyone for coming and took Ali up to bed then Rose helped her clean up after the party. Emmett and I finished building the house and doll set and hauled all the boxes and trash to the burn barrels.

By the time the house was back in order we were all exhausted. Rose went to take a nap, Bella went to shower then was going to take a nap so Emmett and I decided to drive into town and just hang out.

We ended up at the bar playing pool. We always wanted to hang out there but we weren't quite old enough back then. We played pool and just spent some guy time. Then we ate at the small pizza place.

"Do you remember the last time we ate here?" Emmett chuckled.

"Emmett, we ate here alot as kids." I said.

"No, Jaz the last time we ate here as kids! Bella and James were sitting over there and we were over here in this same booth. You were about to have a coronary because she was with him. They finally came to sit with us. Bella was so mad at us." He was laughing when he finished.

"I forgot about that! We even tried to go to movies with them." I smirked.

"Bella has always been an independent person. She put us in our place that night." he said.

"Yes, she did!" I mused remembering the hurt I felt that night.

"That was the night I figured out that you were in love with her." Emmett said.

"I did too that night but I was afraid to admit it. I spent so much time fighting my feelings and hating James. I wanted to tell her after she and James broke up but I knew she needed her friend and time to heal. Then I waited too late and she started dating Edward. I kept hoping he would screw up." I said.

"Jaz, he knew you liked her before he asked her out. He came to me the day before the party and asked if you had a thing for Bella. He said he had been watching her out the window and wanted to get to know her but didn't want to mess up anything you had with her. I told him that you liked her and were going to ask her out soon. He thanked me for being straight with him because he didn't want a rift between you and him. Jaz, I thought he would back off then but he started pursuing her harder. I knew then I screwed up. I should have told you then but I was afraid you would hate me again so I just kept quiet. I always felt bad about that. I'm sorry Jaz!" Em revealed.

"Em, we were kids! It was a long time ago. Even if you had of told me I still probably wouldn't have fought for her like I should have. I would have just hated my brother and probably pushed Bella away in the process." I said truthfully.

"I should have kicked his ass." Em growled.

I laughed, "That would have just united us all against you. If I hadn't been such a coward and just asked Bella out in the first place things could be so much different now. Edward wouldn't be in jail. Maybe mom wouldn't have gotten so stressed and wouldn't be so bad off." I started.

"STOP IT RIGHT NOW!" Emmett growled, "You are NOT responsible for your mom's condition and if Edward had controlled his temper he wouldn't be in jail. That's not on you either!"

I hung my head knowing that the stress of everything made Esme's mind go faster.

"Jaz, you didn't create any of this. You have always been there for everyone and to help everyone out of the jamb they got themselves in. You are so forgiving. Look back through your life, Jaz! You have always been there for Bella; you rescued her when I was being a dumb-ass. You saved my life that night and although you were pissed beyond belief you still helped me and eventually forgave me. You have been there me countless times and I am sorry to say I haven't been a very good friend to you. Jaz, please don't beat yourself up. If you need to talk, I am here." Em said.

"I never was good at letting people in Em. I never let anyone be there for me. Bella was just stubborn enough to call me on my bullshit and be there for me anyway." I said.

"Yeah! She can be scary with that icy glare like Uncle Charlie's. I pity poor Ali one day when she tries to get away with anything with Bells!" Em chuckled and I couldn't help but smile in agreement.

Bella, Rose, and Ali were outside when we got home. Ali was giggling and squealing as Bells was pushing her in the swing and Rose was snapping pictures. I marveled at the site of my wife and baby sister who would soon enough be my daughter. They were both laughing and it was the most beautiful site I had ever seen. A smile tugged at the corners of my mouth with the thought of this being my future. My smile widened as I approached Bella and Ali. Ali squealed and reached for me. I unbuckled her and hugged her to me relishing in the warmth as she burrowed into the crook of my neck. I reached to place a soft kiss on Bella's lips. It wasn't long and Ali caught site of the horses and wiggled wanting down and as soon as her feet touched the ground she was toddling to the fence. I chuckled as Bells and I followed her hand and hand.

"Did you all have fun?" She asked as I scooped Ali up so she could pat Duce's shoulder.

"Yeah we played pool and grabbed a pizza and talked about girls!" I grinned.

"Girls huh?" she laughed.

"Yeah, just like old times! We decided we had the most beautiful girls in the world." I said, "Don't tell Em but I think my girl is the prettiest." I said kissing her forehead.

"Your, so sweet!" She said leaning into me.

Emmett and Rose came over to the fence and Rose said softly, "Carlisle is here and looks upset!" I shifted Ali into her arms so Bella and I could go to him.

Carlisle was pacing on the porch. His face was bruised and he had deep scratches from his jaw disappearing below his shirt and tears pouring down his face. I had never seen my father cry. I froze at the porch steps and watched as Bella continued to him.

"Carlisle? What's wrong?" She said in a calm voice.

He crossed the porch to her and took a deep breath, "I had to have Esme admitted this morning. She doesn't remember any of this. I woke up and she was frantically looking for you and Edward. She thinks you are 17 again. I tried to tell her that you guys were okay and she lost it completely. She was throwing things and started calling all of your friends' parents. Then she didn't recognize me. She started screaming at me asking me what I had done to her babies and then attacked me. I had to call Embry to come help. He and the EMT's sedated her to stop her from beating me. I never would have thought she was capable of that. I have to go tell Edward and I don't know what to say to him. I was always at work and missed getting to know you kids like I would have liked too. Jaz you two were close once, I know you are pissed at him and you have every right to be but I was hoping you would go with me to tell him. He's going to need a lot of support."

"Of course I'm going! I am not thrilled with him at the moment but something like this. There's no way I could not go!" I said.

I kissed Bella good bye and drove my father to go give Edward the news about his mother. I knew this was going to be bad. Edward wouldn't handle this news well. I called Charlie to arrange a private meeting and when he heard the circumstances he quickly agreed. When we reached the jail Edward was waiting in an interrogation room. I walked in behind our father and his eyes narrowed.

"So, you came to gloat?" he snarled.

"No Edward, I didn't. There's nothing to gloat about." I said sadly.

"You finally won! You got the girl! You're the favorite son now. Everyone loves you and hates me. You won!" he barked.

"Edward, we are here about Esme." Carlisle choked out.

"What about my mom!" Edward said suddenly sounded like a scared little boy.

Carlisle and I sat down and I took a deep breath and started, "Edward, Esme Has Early Onset Alzheimer's. It has progressed rapidly."

"What does that mean? Progressed rapidly? Has she lost her mind?" He asked in a tight voice.

"She thinks we are still in high school. She doesn't remember having Ali. She didn't recognize Carlisle and attacked him this morning. They had to sedate her to get her off of him."

"Where is she now?" Edward rasped.

"She has been hospitalized in the locked ward. We can get updates but until she calms down no one will be able to see her." Carlisle uttered.

"Jasper, you need to go see her! She needs to know her kids are okay and are here for her." Edward begged.

"Edward, I have seen her around town and she doesn't know who I am. She introduces herself every time and every time I tell her who I am she tells me about her son named Jasper." I said sadly.

My word pushed Edward past breaking point. Tears rolled down his cheeks and in that moment the past was forgotten. We were two scared little boys again crying together our mother. We sat there in silence and wept. Carlisle finally interrupted the quiet when his chair scraped the floor as he stood to pace the length of the room like he always did in an uncomfortable situation. Edward and I regarded each other cautiously after we calmed down and slipped back in to reality. Nothing had changed between us. He still blamed me for the situation he was in and hated me for being with Bella. I hadn't forgotten what he had done to Bella and hadn't forgiving him either. His face had hardened to a hateful glare that I responded to with a look of indifference. I stood and told him we would keep him posted and exited the room leaving him alone with Carlisle.

I took a seat while I waited for Carlisle to get through visiting with Edward. I really wish I could just erase all those bad of this last year. I wished we could go back to being just brothers once again. In the years to come I would need him more and more as our mother slipped further and further away and finally faded out completely. The only one who would be there to make this tolerable was Bella.

"Hey Jaz! Come visit with me." Charlie's deep voice called from his office.

I walked in and Charlie pushed a cup of coffee acrossed his desk to me. He always claimed coffee had a calming effect on Bella and me when we were kids and it did seem to help. I took a long drink and thanked him.

"You Ok?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm okay it's just the same ol' shit just a different day." I sighed.

"You have always gone out of your way to make things easier on everyone else. Jaz, it doesn't make you selfish to take care of yourself first." he said.

"She called you, didn't she?" I asked softly.

"Yes, she did. She is worried about you." he said, "I know how you put yourself last. Take Bella's first wedding for example to make her happy you broke your own heart being part of that wedding. Jaz, it's okay to say no. I should have guided you more than I did when you were younger and not been so worried about stepping on Carlisle's toes. If someone is asking you to do something that hurts you to do then they are asking too much of you. It's okay to say I can't do that. It doesn't make you selfish it just means you are taking care of yourself."

"I know but if I have the ability I should try to do it, right?" I started.

"Not always Jaz. You need to start thinking about you and your family now. If you have time and want to help someone and it doesn't cause you pain then great. If it's not something you want to do and it's going to harm you and one of yours then you shouldn't do it." He said.

Do you think I should have come?" I asked curiously.

"I probably wouldn't have but I understand why you had to." he said as the phone rang. He smiled and handed me the phone, "Talk to her, she's worried about you!"

"Hey Bells." I said tenderly into the phone.

"Jaz, are you okay? I have been so worried about you!" she asked nervously.

"Darlin' I'm fine. I'm sittin' here visiting with your dad until Carlisle gets done with his visit and then I will be home. I love you! Please don't worry!" I said.

"I love you too. And I'll try not to worry too much! Em and rose took Ali to the park to give us some time to visit. Is Carlisle going to want to see her before he leaves?" she asked.

"I don't know! If he wants to see her we will have him see her another time after we talk to Jenks, ok?" I said trying to sooth her fears, "He just came out so I will be home in an about ten minutes."

"Ok. See ya then. Bye." she said as she hung up the phone.

"She's worried about me and Ali." I told Charlie as he walked me out of the office and over to my father.

"Carlisle." Charlie greeted as we reached him.

"Hello, Charlie." Carlisle returned.

There was an awkward silence before I said, "We'll we should get back, Bella wants to go to dinner tonight."

"Oh, alright. Good to see ya." Charlie said heading back to his office leaving Carlisle and I.

I led the way to the truck and slid in. The ride home was awkward. I could tell Carlisle had something to say but wasn't sure how to say it. I waited for him to bring it up and finally half way to my house he did.

He said, "Jasper, I brought Alice's baby book for her. I know I messed up and I saw the terror in Bella's eyes when I came. I know you two are going to adopt her. I think that's the best thing for her. I have giving a statement to the new case worker. She seemed nice. I also started her a trust fund. I plan to put money in it every year and when Esme and I are gone she's still in the will. She will get a third of everything. I know I have been a lousy father. I could always share my money but never could quite share myself or my time with you. I know I didn't do you or Alice right. I hope to make amends now by letting you and Alice is happy. I do hope one day to be part of her life but only as a grandfather. Jasper, I have no right to ask but do you think that we could maybe go to dinner. You could bring Bella and Alice if you want."

"Dad, if you are really serious about building a relationship I am willing to try but you cannot stand me up. I would like to bring Bella but it's probably too soon to bring Ali. I would hate it if she got upset when it was time to go. She's had so much instability in her life lately." I said.

"I understand." He said.

"I will talk to Bella and then I will call you this evening." I said.

"That sounds good." he said.

When we got to the house Bella was on the porch swing, two cups of coffee sitting on the end table. She remained seated until I parked and then she stood slowly. She looked uncertain about what to do. Dad started digging in his car and I made my way to her. She pulled me into a hug as she watched Carlisle warily.

"He brought Ali's things." I said felling her tension.

"Oh" she said relaxing alittle.

"He has put in a positive word for us on adopting Ali." I told her.

"He knows!" She said alarmed.

"Yes he knows. He thinks it's a good thing. Bells everything is fine. He's not going to try to interfere." I soothed her.

"Hello Bella." my father said softly.

"Hi Carlisle." She said in a tight voice.

"I have been driving around with this box in my car for ever but I didn't want to cause alarm by just showing up, as I see that I have." he started sitting the box down, "Bella, I think you will make a wonderful mother to Alice. Thank you for taking care of her."

"I would like to bring the rest of her stuff here. It's so hard to see it every day knowing that she's not coming home. This is what's best for her! You two. I messed you so badly with Jasper. I have done alot of things I'm not proud of and I think it's time to start trying to make amends." he said.

She nodded there was a look that passed between them and she said, "Carlisle I would like to talk to you, alone." and headed for the barn.

"Um... Ok." he said leaving me standing on the porch. I had an uneasy feeling as I watched them. Bella stopped and draped her arms over the fence and Carlisle did the same. They stood there for a half hour before finally turning and walking back to the house. My father looked ashamed like he had just been scolded and Bella looked both appalled and relieved. Carlisle went to grab another box from his car and Bella took the other box inside. I stood on the porch waiting for someone to tell me what was going on.

Carlisle sat the box inside and closed the wooden door and said, "I have to tell you something. You will probably hate me but you deserve to know the truth and you should hear it from me." He began sitting in the rocking chair.  
>I sat on the porch swing and grabbed a coffee that was sitting between us.<p>

"I lied to you… about your mom. She didn't just leave." He paused taking a deep breath.

"What?" I said confused.

"Months before she left, she told me she wanted a divorce. She said she was tired of being ignored and of me ignoring you kids. She wanted to take you and Bree but I wanted you to carry on the family name. She told me she would fight for you so I threatened her." He said.

"She ignored me. How could she do that to me if she wanted me? You just don't do that to someone you love!" I asked my voice barely above a whisper.

For months before she actually left I made her ignore you." he paused to look at me.

I was shocked. I had hated her for so long, "Why, would you do that?"

"She begged me for months to let her take you too. I wouldn't. When she told me she was planning to divorce me I told her I would have her committed in the psych ward, that I would sign Bree over to the state and she would never see you or Bree again. That terrified her. She agreed to leave but still wanted to see you. I told her no. I told her that she should distance herself from you and if she didn't I would know. I relied on Bella and Bree to tell on her for ignoring you and making you cry. I hated that it was hurting you but I thought it would make her leaving easier on you at the time. You never got over it though. I have regretted that for so long."

"It still hurts the way I was treated. You took my mother and sister from me. You made me think my mother hated me. I thought I was the reason she left. I always felt inferior… that I didn't deserve anything good in my life. I was so afraid of rejection that I never dared to try and reach out to anyone. You did that! I never let anyone close enough to hurt me. That was all you!" I ranted verbalizing for the first time how I felt and realizing why I felt that way.

"I..." he started but I kept talking.

"Bella found out." I asked disgusted with my dad, "That's why you are telling me this now, isn't it? Because if you didn't, she would have? You never planned to tell me, did you?"

"APPARENTLY," Carlisle interrupted, "Charlie never stopped looking for Bree and Vic. I paid the investigator he was using to not find anything but he got a new detective looking for them when Bella joined the search. They are close to finding them now." Carlisle said at least having the decency to look ashamed of himself.

I sat there looking at him in disgust trying to find something to say to express the level of disgust, sorrow, and anger I was feeling. The events of today were exhausting and this on top on everything else was like a crushing weight sitting on my chest. I needed him to leave. I had heard enough for one day.

"Jasper, I..." he began.

"Dad here is nothing you can say to make this better. I need you to leave. If I ever get over this enough to want a relationship with you I have your number. Please, I just need you to go." I said. My voice even sounded weak to me. Carlisle stood up and turned to go. When he reached I walked into the house where Bella stood waiting tears pouring down her face.

"I'm sorry! Mike, the new investigator that dad hired found a lady that told him this story but he hadn't substantiated it yet. We are going to find them, Jaz." she said worried that I would be upset with her.

"Bella, how close are you to finding them?" I said pulling her close and kissing her forehead.

"Mike found an address, Jasper. He said he has reason to believe Bree is looking for you and has been in touch with Carlisle. He plans to go see if he's got the right address. Jaz, I got an update just before you and Carlisle got here. Mike is at the station. He said he is driving to Seattle this afternoon." she said.

"I want to go! Let's pack a bag and go for a night. We can take Ali or she can stay with Em and Rose. I need to see them." I rattled excitedly forgetting how tired I was.

"Ok! I'll call him while you go pack a bag. We will call Rose and see if she minds keeping Ali." Bella said.

I bolted upstairs taking them two at a time. I realized I was acting like a little boy but couldn't help it! I was going to see my sister again. I was still apprehensive about seeing my mother again but I was still hopeful. I smiled as I heard Bella talking to Mike. I heard her say 'Great! I'll see ya in a few."

I raced back down stairs and asked, "Are we going to meet him?"

"Slow down, Jaz!' she chuckled, "He's coming here. Did you drink both of the coffees of the porch?"

I nodded sheepishly, and added, "And I had a cup with your dad."

"I fixed the coffee because I was going to talk to you about what Mike found out. I didn't intend for you to have so much caffeine. You know how bouncy you get when you have had too much." She giggled and I tried to contain my excitement. I walked to the stairs till I was just out of sight of Bella and bounded you the stairs to pack. I heard Bella talking to Rose making arrangements for Ali for the night. I lost myself in packing. When I finished I looked up to see Bella in the doorway trying desperately not to laugh.

"What?" I asked.

"The Wizard of Oz huh?" She chuckled.

"What? How did you... Oops! I was singing it wasn't I!" I blushed, "That was Bree's favorite movie. She drove me crazy singing that song. It's been in a loop in my head."

"I can't wait to see them again." She said.

We waited for Mike of the porch. When he pulled up and joined us on the porch I was so excited that I couldn't talk without sounding like a bumbling idiot so I let Bella take it. My wonderful wife seemed to understand and took the lead.

Mike gave us the address and Bella booked 3 rooms for us. Mike told us that Jessica was packing an overnight bag and as soon as he picked her up they were on the road. We would meet at Mike's office in an hour. I thanked Mike and he headed to his car. Rose and Em had opted to go with us and take Ali to the zoo while we went to try to find mom and Bree. I packed Ali's pack-n-play play pen and clothes, diapers, and wipes while Bella packed snacks, drinks and toys. We had just finished loading the car when Em and Rose pulled up. I transferred the car seat with a sleeping angel in it while Emmett got his and Rose's bags. An hour later we were on the road.

It was a longer drive then I remembered but we were finally checked in to the hotel. Mike said he was going to set up a meeting time and I was currently on pins and needles sitting by the phone. Em and Rose took Ali to the pool and Bella was setting up the pack-n-play. I was a wreck waiting for Mike to call. I was so relieved when the phone finally rang. I quickly answered.

"Hello?" I said.

"Hey, Jasper. I met you mom just now. She is following me to the hotel restaurant. We should be there in ten minutes. I have called and reserved the meeting lounge there."  
>Mike said.<p>

"Ok we will be there!" I said dropping the phone on the bed, "Bella they will be here in ten minutes."

She scooped the phone up and replaced it in its cradle and we headed down to the restaurant. Bella ordered drinks. I finished a rum and coke and felt myself begin calming down. Bella and I visited calmly as we waited. She always knew just how to calm me down. Mike and a slightly older version of my mother walked in and some of the hurt started to creep back in. I felt Bella squeeze my hand as they sat down.

My mother had a tear rolling down her cheek as she looked at me and smiled, "Hello Jasper! I always dreamed this day would come."

"Mom. I never thought I would see you again." I whispered.

"I know. I'm sorry. I don't know how much you know about why I left." she said close to tears.

"Carlisle told him." Bella said.

"I'm so sorry. Looking back I see alot of things I would have done differently." She said rounding the table to me. I stood up and pulled my mother into my arms. There were alot of issues to resolve but all that could wait right now I just wanted my mom. She clung to me and sobbed whispering how sorry she was. I tried to hold back all the unshed tears from the past over her leaving me to no avail. I buried my face in her shoulder and bawled like a child. After about ten minutes I realized Bella had slipped over to the Chair by Mike so I could sit by my mom.

I smiled at her, "Bella Thank you so much for this. If not for you this wouldn't be possible. Mike thanks!"

"It's my job." Mike responded uncomfortable taking a compliment.

"Jaz, I just wish this could have happened years ago." she smiled.

"Bella, as in Isabella Swan?" she marveled.

"Yes mom this is Bella." I said.

"So you two are together? I always hoped for that."

"Yes, we are together. There will be a wedding next summer after Jaz finished law school!" Bella gushed.

"You're in law school?" pausing to look at me for confirmation, "Both my babies are going to be lawyers." Mom said proudly more to herself than me.

"You must have a million questions!" She said.

"Bree?" I said and was stunned by her answer.

"She at the library at the University. She always turns her phone off. I left her a message to call me. She should be through with her research soon. Jasper where do you go to school?" she asked.

"Here! Is Bree in classes here too?" I asked dumbfounded to think that I had been in the same school all this time.

"She is taking her prerequisite classes across campus from the law program." Victoria said as her phone rang. "It's Bree. I am going to tell her to meet me here if I tell her about you now she will be too excited to drive and could have a wreck."

"Hey Bree!" She said. After a short pause she told her, I need you to meet me at the restaurant in the Fairmont Inn" Pause, "Oh, well can you tell him you're going to be late? I have a huge surprise for you." Pause, "Ok, he's driving you?" Pause, "Baby, I was going to wait but since Riley is driving I will. I am sitting here with your brother. Jasper and Bella found us." I heard a squeal over the phone and the she handed the phone to me.

"Jasper? Came a shaky voice over the line.

"I'm here Bree!" I said.

"OH MY GOD! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! MOM AND I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING THE INTERNET." Bree was yelling, there was a low male voice saying, "Sweetie, why are you yelling?"

"RY, It's my brother!" she gushed then began crying.

"Honey, let's go see him" He chuckled then took the phone, "hello?"

"What happened to Bree?" I asked worried.

"She's just emotional. She has dreamed of finding you for so long. We will be there in about fifteen minutes. Looking forward to meeting ya man. See ya then." He said.

"See ya then." I said and handed the phone back to mom.

"Jasper, I know I have alot to make up for. Know I hurt you deeply and I want you to know that I am going to do everything in my power to earn your trust back. I am not going to make excuses or blame anyone. Jasper, I should have consulted a lawyer all those years ago." she said.

"Why didn't you?" I asked gently.

"I was so scared of him finding out and locking me away and never getting to see either of my babies. I panicked. I was so stupid then. I am sorry I didn't stand up and fight for you." She said close to tears.

"Why don't we just concentrate on the fact that you are together now for tonight. I'm not saying that there isn't alot to deal with but just the fact that you both want a relationship might be enough for now." Bella said lightly.

"She's right! Let's make this a happy reunion!" I said smiling at Bella.

"I usually am!" She teased me then to my mother, "Did you know Jaz bought a house with some of the money you have been sending to his bank account." effectively giving us a new topic of conversation.

"Wow! I had hoped you would use it wisely. I see you did now." She glowed.

"Yes, you will have to come see it. It's the old Clearwater farm. Do you remember it?" I asked

She smiled brightly, "Yes! I loved that place. Carlisle and I looked at it once but he wanted to live in town so we didn't buy it. Does it still have that tree? The one lying over on its side?"

"Yeah, that's one of Bella's and my favorite places to go walking." I smiled.

"Jasper?" A sweet whimper called from behind me.

I stood up and turned to see the small librarian that I always felt that I knew but couldn't figure out from where.

"Oh My God! Mom it's the guy I was telling you about from the library! I knew I knew him!" She squealed as she shyly approached.

"Jasper?" she said again uncertain of how to proceed.

I opened my arms and said, "I'm right here Bree!"

That was all she needed to fling herself into my arms and hug me tight, "I've missed you." she sobbed.

"I've missed you too." I whispered.

She pulled away to look at me, "So you go to school here?"

"Yeah! I have one more year to go. Then I get to go home to Bells and Ali." I smiled.

"Bells? As in Bella Swan?" she asked.

"Bella Whitlock now." I was so excited I didn't even realize my slip up until my sister and mom gasp.

"You're married?" My sister squealed, "Wait. Who's Ali? Oh my God! You have a baby!"

"We are adopting a baby." Bella said clearly uncomfortable with the turn the conversation had taken.

"Bella?" Bree squealed bouncing over to her and hugging her too. I extended a hand to the man I assumed was Rylie.

We greeted each other and then moved to a larger table. Mike excused himself leaving us to visit. I sat down between Bella and my mother while Bree and Rylie sat across the table from us. Bree and my mother wanted to know everything about our wedding and the baby we were adopting.

"We weren't going to tell anyone we were married. We have announced an engagement." Bella said.

"Why?" Bree gasped.

"I am coming back to school this summer. Bella is staying at home and attending the community college getting her teaching degree. Bella and I are avoiding rumors this way. We are going to have a wedding next summer. I wasn't supposed to say anything. It just slipped out. Please keep our secret!" I explained. Everyone agreed to keep quiet about us being married.

"So why are you adopting a child? It seems like a hectic time to start a family." Mom interjected.

"It isn't ideal but she needs us." I said.

"I used to watch her. When her mother was deemed mentally unfit her father just signed her over to the state. When the opportunity presented its self we took it so now we are her guardians. She is such an angel! "Bella elaborated. Thankfully she left out the part about her being my sister.

"He signed her away? Just like that? Just like dad would have done to me?" Bree fumed.

Everyone was silent for a moment until mom asked, "Is she the reason you two got married now instead of waiting till next summer?"

"Yes. I was going to propose to her this summer and then marry her next summer but with Ali's adoption hearing so close. Our lawyers agreed that it would strengthen our case so we just did it quietly. We are going to have a party at the end of the summer to celebrate us being engaged." I said.

"Can I meet her?" Bree asked.

"Yes. How about tomorrow? I noticed a park across the street. We could meet there at ten." Bella said looking to me for approval.

"That would be good. You could play with her there. She loves the swings." I said.

"Great Mom and I will meet you there at ten! Do you have pictures?" Bree bubbled.

"Yes." Bella said pulling out her phone and showing everyone pictures. Mom's eyes met mine and I knew she knew who this child belonged to. She mouthed, '_Carlisle's child?' _I nodded and she quickly excused herself. I followed her to the hall where she slid down the wall to the floor. I sunk to my knees in front of her.

"Mom?" I said.

"Jasper, did she start forgetting things?" I nodded, "Is it Alzheimer's?" I nodded, that's what he said he would do to me." She sobbed, "He said it would start slowly deteriorating my mind until it was just irreversibly gone. He told me that it would appear to be Alzheimer's and the meds would eventually kill me."

I was stunned. I had to do something. I yanked my phone out and called Anthony and relayed what my mother had told me. He said he would handle it. I turned back my mom. I pulled her into a hug. "I understand now why you ran."

"I should have run with you too." She whispered.

"If you had I wouldn't have Bella and wouldn't have been there for Ali and to hopefully stop him from killing Esme. I love you mom." I said for the first time in years.

"Love you too." She sobbed.

After she calmed down we entered the restaurant to find Emmett and Rose sitting at the table and Ali sleeping in Bella's arms. Bree was peering over her shoulder fascinated be the sleeping child. "Rest up Ali because tomorrow your Aunt Bree is going to entertain you all day." She whispered.

Bree looked up and said, "Tomorrow I am spoiling my niece! Bella has already given me permission. You and coming with us."

"So bossy! I remember you being bossy!" I chuckled.

"And I remember you two hiding from me!" She countered.

"You were awfully bossy." Bella agreed.

"You were Bree. I remember baking cookies with you when you came in mad because Jasper and Bella where in the tree again and refused to come to tea time." Mom said gently.

"So she's always been bossy!" Rylie said cheerily. I liked him he was good to my sister.

"VERY!" Bella giggled. We all laughed. Soon it was time to go. I hated leaving them. We all seemed to have that problem. After several long good-byes we parted ways. I led the way to the room and watched as Bella put Ali to bed.

"Bella, Carlisle is drugging Esme. Mom realized Ali was my sister. She said he told her that if she fought for me he would slip her meds that would slowly deteriorate her mind until it was just irreversibly gone. He told her it would seem like Alzheimer's and that it would kill her."

"We have to do something!" Bella gasped.

"I already called Anthony. He is going to have a toxicology screening done. Esme is in a locked ward for 72 hours. Be then they can prove that Carlisle was drugging her. The damage the drugs have done maybe permanent. If he has done this to her I'll never forgive him." I growled.

That night I lay in bed holding Bella. Sleep was eluding me. I thought of both my moms. My real mom having to flee for her life knowing that if she didn't leave me behind she would die and Bree would be raised be strangers and poor Esme was not so lucky to have run. I prayed it wasn't too late. I would let her have Ali back if she was mentally capable. I knew it would hurt to give Ali back to Esme but it was right. I had so much on my mind. I lay staring at the clock watching the hours slip by. Finally at five I felt Bella stir.

She looked up at me and said, "Oh, Jaz! You look like hell! Did you sleep at all last night?"

"No, I kept thinking about my moms. The possibility of Esme making a recovery. It would be great. Then there is the adoption and if she would remember Ali." I said.

"Jaz, if Esme makes a full recovery I would gladly give Ali back to her. I would miss her but that is where she would belong. I would continue to watch her and you would continue to be the best big brother in the world!" She said, "Why don't you take a Melatonin and nap. Ali and I will go shopping with Bree and you mom and then we can meet up for lunch. You look beat babe!"

I nodded and she fished out the pill bottle and handed me a bottle of water.

Bella's POV

I took a quick shower and dressed. Jasper was finally resting and Ali was awake playing quietly with her toes. I scoped her up and bathed her. When she was dressed in her in a cute little purple onsite that said "Future Miss America" in glittery writing on it and a soft pair of shorts to match it I quietly took Ali down for breakfast to meet Rose, Emmett, Bree, Rylie, and Victoria.

"Where's Jasper? If I have to go so does he." Rylie teased.

"Jaz didn't sleep at all last night he got some upsetting news last night and had alot to deal with. He finally took a sleeping pill this morning and is resting." I told them.

"I'm sorry!" Victoria said softly.

"We are glad we found out! We may be able to save a life. It's just one more thing to deal with." I told Victoria giving her a pointed look.

We ordered our food and ate. Emmett and Rylie opted to lounge by the pool while the girls and I went shopping. We all rode in my car to the mall. I was so glad we remembered Ali's stroller because Bree was a shopaholic. We covered every store that had a hint of baby clothes and toys. I told Bree the truth about who Ali was and filled Rose in on our suspicions about what Carlisle did to Esme. Bree and Vitoria spoiled Ali until it was time to meet the guys for lunch.

I slipped up to the suit and woke Jaz. He seemed alittle tired still and asked if everyone could just hang out in our suit instead of going out. So while he was in the shower I called Rose and called in a couple pizzas. Everyone gathered in our room. Jaz had just come into the main room, scooped Ali up and sunk onto the couch beside me when the pizza arrived. Emmett got the door. Everyone laughed and talked while they ate. All except Jaz that is he remained quiet just listening to the stories everyone was telling. He rocked Ali to sleep and took her to bed. I followed worried about him.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I was just contemplating inviting Mom, Bree, and Rylie to our engagement party. Em and Rose are having their wedding in a few weeks so why not have our engagement party next weekend?" He asked.

"Rose is going to kill you." I said as we walked back to the main room.

"Why am I killing him?" She asked.

"I think we should have our engagement party next weekend." Jaz grinned.

"Wow! It's a good thing I planned it all. There won't be time to send out invitations but it's doable. You are so lucky I am your friend Jaz." She smirked.

"I would like for you three to come, you can stay with Bella and I." Jaz said to Rylie, Bree and his mother.

"That sounds great but the kids and I will drive down and back that day." Mom said.

Sounds like a plan." Jaz said.

After lunch out time was up. It was time to say see ya later and head home. Emmett and Rose left first promising to see us next Saturday morning. I started packing the car and Rylie opted to help me to give Jaz, Bree, and Victoria alittle alone time.

"Mike said it was you and your dad that hired him." Rylie said.

"Yeah. Dad had hired an investigator before him but Carlisle was paying him not to find Bree and Victoria. Dad switched to Mike and he found them within a few weeks. I have missed Bree terribly. I am so glad Jasper has his family back." I said.

"He seems nice." he said.

"He said the same about you. He likes that you and good to his sister. Rylie he likes you." I smiled seeing his relieved smile. After we had everything but Ali's bed packed we went back to the room to the three people who were avoiding goodbye. I went and got Ali and layer her in Bree's waiting arms. She felt a connection with her since Carlisle hadn't wanted her either. Rylie folded the bed and took it to the car for me.

Jasper led his mom and Bree out to the car. Both were in tears and Bree was clinging to him to keep herself from falling over she was shaking so bad. It was a very hard goodbye to say. Jaz was alittle misty. Victoria handed me Ali and I buckled her into her seat. Victoria kissed Jaz on the cheek, hugged him tight, told us she would see us next weekend, and tearfully stepped back. Bree sobbed hard into Jaz's chest. He held her tenderly promising her that this wasn't going to be like last time they had to say goodbye.

"Bree, I promise I will see you soon. We found each other and now we can see each other as offer as we want to. You have my number and I will see you next weekend. Why don't you drive up Friday and stay the weekend with Bella and I?" he tried to comfort her. Finally Bree released him and stood in Rylie's arms. Rylie agreed to drive mom and Bree you for the weekend. And then we were on the road. I drove and allowed Jaz to reflect on his weekend.

An hour into the drive he said, "Thank you for this."

"You're Welcome!" I said wanting to let him lead the conversation I lapsed back into silence.

"I enjoyed being with my mother and sister again. Mom may have saved Esme's life. What are we going to do about Esme? She's bound to have brain damage." he worried.

"When we get home we will call Anthony. We need to find out what's going on. We will go from there!" I said trying to calm his fears. If Carlisle drugged her he was looking at jail time and if Esme had brain damage she would need someone to take care of her and Edward was in jail so that left us. How in the world were we going to do this?

"She's going to need someone to take care of her." He uttered.

"We will cross that bridge when we get there! Let's just see what we can find out tomorrow." I said.

We arrived home late. Jaz unpacked the car while I took Ali up to bed. I knew this was going to be another sleepless night for Jaz and I fully intended to stay up with him for as long as he did. I put on some Chamomile tea and went to help him. He had the bags on the porch and was carrying the travel baby things to the shed. I grabbed the bags and emptied the dirty clothes in to the washer then put the bags away.

When I finished I saw Jaz pouring us tea. He looked up and smiled, "Thanks darlin'! I need something to sooth my nerves. I probably won't sleep much tonight."

"I know! I wish there was something I could to make all of this easier on you." I said.

"Darlin' without you I would be climbing the walls. You are keeping me sane." He took a deep breath and pulled out a note pad and sat down in the middle of the couch, "I need to make a list of things I have to do."

"Jaz," I began.

"Bells this is the only way I am going to keep my sanity." He said.

"I know." I said.

"I have to call Anthony and find out what's going on with my mom." He jotted that down, "then there's Edward. He's going to blame me." He said.

"Let me handle that one!" I put my hand up before he could interrupt, "He may take a swing at you but he won't at me. He will be upset. As bad as I hate to admit it we need him out of jail to help with Esme." I said.

He nodded, "I was thinking the same thing."

"I will talk to dad about it. I will go do that right after you call Anthony." I told him.

"I need to go see if I can talk to one of mom's doctors. This is such a mess." He said dropping his head into his hands. I pulled him over so his head was laying in my lap. "Here! Get comfy! Let me take care of you." I said running my fingers through his silky hair. He stretched out on the couch and wrapped his arms around my waist. I started rubbing his neck and shoulders. He fell asleep holding me lightly. I grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch and covered him up. I waited until he was sound asleep and gently loosened his grip. I wiggled out from under him sliding a throw pillow under his head. I stood up to see dad waiting at the door.

"Hey come in." I whispered leading him to the kitchen.

"I saw you drive by the house. There has been some activity while you were gone." he said sadly.

"What now?" I said exasperated.

"The doctors at the hospital were court ordered to do a tox screening on Esme. It seems that Carlisle had been drugging her. I had to arrest him. Edward's falling apart worrying about his mom. They are flushing the drugs out of Esme's system. They say the drugs in her system did alot of damage. It was the drugs that caused her to flip out and attack Carlisle. I was told she has the mentality of a five year old child now. She will learn things again and progress mentally but from what they have told me she will never mentally be an adult 's been drugging her for months. The evidence points to right around the time she decided to go back to work." Dad said a tear rolling down his cheek.

"I know. Jaz called Anthony. He threatened to do the same thing to Victoria she was just able to get Bree out. He's so upset." I said.

"Bells, you should know Edward is being released tomorrow. The DA feels in light of recent events and his exemplary behavior that he should be released." dad said.

"What time?" I asked.

"Noon!"he said.

"Tell him I will be there to take him to his car." I told dad.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" He worried.

"Yes. He and Jaz can't get along right now and we need to talk and get some things straight. I will probably be there early. I'll be there at 11. Dad I need you to understand." I said mentally adding, I'm going to have a hard enough time convincing Jaz.

"I get it. I just don't like it!" dad said.

"Don't like what?" Jaz asked as he came in to the kitchen and sunk onto a chair.

"Dad, tell him what you told me about Esme's tox screen." I said.

"The doctors at the hospital were court ordered to do a tox screening on Esme. It seems that Carlisle had been drugging her. I had to arrest him. They are flushing the drugs out of Esme's system. They say the drugs in her system did alot of damage. It was the drugs that caused her to flip out and attack Carlisle. I was told she has the mentality of a five year old child now. She will learn things again and progress mentally but from what they have told me she will never mentally be an adult 's been drugging her for months. The evidence points to right around the time she decided to go back to work. Jaz, Edward is being released tomorrow. The DA feels in light of recent events and his exemlery behavior that he should be released."

"Jaz, I am going to the station at 11 to talk to him. He will be released around noon and I am going to take him to his car. Jaz remember my reasoning for wanting to go tell him about Esme. You and Edward need a calmer time to settle your differences." I finished relieved at the resigned look on his face. He wasn't going to fight me on this.

"Ok. I understand now. I don't like it either." Jaz sighed sadly.


	8. Chapter 8

Bella's POV

It was a long night. Jaz paced and worried all night about what was coming tomorrow. He was stressing out about me being alone with Edward. He knew that he wouldn't hurt me but there was still that worry. I tried to comfort him but it wasn't really helping. Dad came back alittle before 11 to stay with Ali while Jaz went to see Esme and I went to see Edward and extend an olive branch so to speak. Edward could make trouble for us where Ali was concerned. I don't think he could stop the adoption but I do think if he decided to he could drag it out.

I started to get nervous the closer I got to the station. I hadn't seen Edward since that unfortunate day that he accidentally hit me. I knew he wouldn't physically hurt me but I was still worried about facing him again. Since the divorce I hadn't talked to him. This was bound to be awkward for us. This seemed so simple last night. After a brief flash of panic after I parked, I pulled myself together and walked in. I made my way to the interrogation room were I was told Edward was waiting for me. I took a deep breath and turned the handle that would bring me face to face with my past.

"Hello Bella!" He said awkwardly, "I'm glad you came."

"Under the circumstances I knew you would need someone." I said quietly still standing with a hand on the door.

"You don't have to be afraid of me the handcuffs are still on." he asked sadly.

"I'm not afraid, Edward, I know you wouldn't have hurt me on purpose. This, well it just awkward." I said taking a seat across from him.

He laughed humorlessly, "I guess it is. These days my life is pretty awkward. Bella, I'm sorry! I never meant to hurt you. I'm glad you at least know that."

"Edward, I know who you meant to hit." I said a bit too harshly.

"Do you love him?" he asked hanging his head knowing my answer before he ever ask the question, "You know what? On second thought, please don't answer that! I know the answer but hearing you say it out loud would hurt too bad." He paused, "They told me what happened too mom and that she will be a child mentally. They say she's not violent now though."

"I know." I began, "Edward, there's something you should know."

"You and Jasper are adopting Alice. Carlisle told me." he said, "That will be good for her. You have always had a way with her."

"Thank you!" I said.

"Can I still be part of her life?" he asked hopefully.

"Yes. Edward, you are her brother of course you will be part of her life." I said, hoping he could behave around Jaz, "We will work out something but things have to be calm for Ali. Edward, I won't put her in danger. You have to understand that you and Jaz will have to play nice! There can't be another incident like the last time. "

"There won't be. Bella, I have had alot of time to think. Yes, there is still some hostility toward my brother but it seems I'm running out of family." he sighed, "Not that I'm not glad you are here but why are you here?

"Edward, I came to take you to your car. Esme took it home for you." I told him.

"You are much kinder then I deserve. After how I hurt you, you are still here for me. Thank you!" he said.

"Your Welcome." I said.

"I just don't know why he did this to her." he said miserably.

"I think Jaz may have some insight into that." I said.

"What? How?" he stammered.

"We found Jasper's Biological mother Victoria and his sister Bree. Her story is shocking." I started.

"Do you think Jasper could meet us at mom's house? I would like to hear it from him." he said then added, "I don't want to fight. The subject of you two and what you are or are not doing or feeling will be off limits. I just need my brother right now."

"I will call him when the DA gets here. Hey, is your dad going to be here?" I asked nervously.

"No. He disowned me after I make the deal with the DA." he sad sounding lost.

"I cost you alot, didn't I?" I observed.

"No. Not you, it was me that cost me alot! Dads always wanted to see me on his terms. When I was convicted he would have disowned me anyway. It's bad for his reputation to have a son like Me.," he whispered sadly.

"Edward, I need you to sign some forms then you may go." The DA said as he opened the door.

"I'll go call Jaz. I'll be out by my car." I said excusing myself. Edward nodded.

I walked out to the car and called Jaz.

"Hey Jaz, how was your mom?" I asked softly.

"Well, when I introduced myself she didn't tell me about her son she just giggled and said hello. She truly is just a child in her mind. I colored a picture with her and when it was time to leave she pouted and asked me if I was coming back. I think I will go back this evening. Will you come too?" he asked.

"Yes, I will go with you. I could make those Cheesecake stuffed strawberries she liked so well if you like." I said.

"That sounds great. So how did it go with my brother?" he asked.

"Alright. He's remorseful. He seems to want to reconnect with you. He wanted you to meet us at your dad and Esme's house to talk. He wants to know why Carlisle would do this. I started to tell him your mom's story and he stopped me. He would like to hear it from you." I started.

"That's fine but not at mom's house. Bring him here. We can talk here and you and Ali will be safely tucked away in the house." he said.

"Jaz, I agree that Ali should be inside the house but I will be by your side. Dad will stay inside with Ali and I will be careful." I said.

"NO! Bella after last time..." Jaz started to bellow them softened his tone to a broken whisper, "Well... I won't risk it."

"Jasper Whitlock! I am my own person! I make my own decisions and I will be out there with you. I will be safe." I barked.

"I know!" he relented but wasn't happy about it but knew I wouldn't budge on the matter.

"I love you! I'll see ya later." I said.

"I love you too, Darlin' be careful." he worried.

"I will. See ya."

I had just hung up when I saw Edward walk out the door and head toward me.

"Are you ready?" I asked slipping into the car.

"Yeah." he said buckling his seat belt.

"I called Jasper. He invited you to the farm so Ali can nap while we talk." I said partly lying to him.

"That's fine. He feels more comfortable there. Bella, I promise I will behave. I won't attack him. I leaned the hard way that violence never solves anything. I almost killed you the last time I lost my temper." He said looking ashamed.

"I'm fine now. Let's not dwell on it. It's over and done with." I said turning the radio to his favorite station.

"Has Jasper been to see mom?" Edward asked.

"First thing this morning. She wasn't able to have visitors before then. They colored a picture and she ask him to come see her again." I said.

"I will be out to the farm in about an hour. Thanks for everything." he said with a slight tremor in his voice.

"Your welcome." I said, "Edward, your not alone in this. Jaz loves Esme. She is his mom too. You have us to lean on."

"I'm sure he hasn't forgiven me for what I did." He said.

"I didn't say all was forgiven. I said we could pull together as a family and get through this." I said.

"Thank you Bella. I'll see you later." he called as he stepped out of the car. I waited until he was in his car and then drove home.

Jaz was sitting on the porch waiting on me. "So, how did he seem?"

"Ok. He admitted that there was still some hostility toward you but he also said he needed his brother." I said watching his face carefully.

"Same here. I will try but if there's even a remote possibility of you or Ali being in danger" he began.

"There isn't. He knows how bad he messed up. Jaz, I'm not saying I forgive him totally but I am willing to give him a chance to be one of the family again." I said firmly.

"Meaning?" he prompted.

"He still wants to be part of Ali's life for starters. He seems to want to build a relationship with you. I think we should cautiously let him be part of our lives." I said knowing that wasn't what he wanted to hear.

"How can you be so forgiving? After what he did?" He asked softly looking at me like I had lost my mind.

"I would want a second chance if it were me. I'm not saying I trust him fully but I will say that I know he would never physically hurt me on purpose. I will be his friend as long as he can respect that is all we ever will be." I said gently, "He's your brother and you are going to need each other to get through this."

"I will give him a chance but if he screws up there won't be another chance for him." Jaz said firmly.

We were seated on the front porch with dad and Ali when Edward pulled up. Dad took Ali inside and I remained seated on the porch while Jasper walked out to meet his brother.

"Hello, Edward." he said in a friendly tone.

"Hi Jasper. I'm sorry about the last time I was here. It won't happen again." Edward said ashamed of himself.

"That would be good." Jaz said.

"Bella told me that you found your mom." He said as Jasper led him to the porch. Jaz sat by me and Edward took a seat in the rocking chair that Jaz had moved so it was facing the swing but the swing was not with in reach of it.

"Yes, Bella and Charlie found her. Dad has been paying the investigators not to find them all these years. The new guy found them with in a couple months. We just got back from seeing them." Jaz was smiling.

"I know it meant alot to you to find them. I'm happy for you!" Edward smiled.

"Thank you. We told them we were adopting a baby girl and alittle about her circumstances. When mom saw Ali she knew that she was my sister. When I told her the whole story she began to cry. She ask about Esme's symptoms and was pretty much dead on target then she told me that she asked dad for a divorce a couple months before she left. She told him she wanted custody of Bree and I. He threatened her. He told her to take Bree and disappear. He wanted me to carry on his family name. He threatened to drug her if she didn't. He said that the drugs would slowly take her mind and in would look like Alzheimer's. The damage would be irreversible and he would lock her away and sign Bree over to the state. I called Anthony right then. That's why mom was drug tested and dad was arrested." Jasper whispered tears welling in his eyes.

Edward sat staring at his hands, "I wish you had found your mom sooner."

"If I had maybe I could have saved mom from him." Jasper uttered miserably.

"This is on Carlisle, not you or me." Edward said hoarsely, "Thanks for seeing me Jasper. You have no reason to be nice to me. I know things between us aren't great but I appreciate you giving me another chance at being you brother." Then his eye caught my ring and his face fell, "You're engaged." he whispered.

"Yes. We are. Edward, I don't want it to cause problems." Jaz said moving from my side to the porch railing.

"I always knew that you two would end up together one day. I worried contently that she would leave me for you. I just didn't know it would hurt this much seeing you together." he whispered.

"Edward, we didn't want to hurt anyone." I said gently.

"I know, I screwed up." he said his voice heavy with sorrow, "I just need to find what's left of my family."

"We are family! I just need you to realize that things are different now." Jasper said.

"I know. You and Bella and together now and Ali will become my niece soon. It will take awhile but I think I can deal." Edward said.

"Would you like to see Ali?" I asked trying to lighten the mood alittle.

"Yeah, that would be great." Edward smiled weakly.

I went to get Ali. Dad was against the idea of Edward seeing Ali.

"What if he hurts her?" dad growled.

"Dad he's really trying. Be nice. Things are calm and friendly now. He knows the only way to be part of Ali's life is to behave." I said scooping Ali into my arms and carrying her outside.

"Hey Ali Girl! Do you remember me?" Edward asked reaching to see if she would go to him. As she jumped into his arms, I saw dad tense in the doorway. I knew this was hard for him but Ali was fine. If I thought for one second Edward was a danger to her there is no way he would ever see her.

"She's gotten so big." He whispered then asked, "Can I take her to the swing set?"

"Yeah. She loves to swing." Jaz said lightly.

Jaz stayed on the porch to give Edward time alone with Ali while I went to get some tea.

"I will be back later! Don't you dare let Ali out of your sight. I don't trust him! Remember what he did to you because he was trying to get to Jaz." Dad said with his eyes glued to Ali and left giving Edward one final "I'm watching you" glare.

I fixed three glasses of tea and a sippy full of apple juice. I carried Edward's and Ali's to them and returned to the porch. Jaz was alittle uneasy still but it looked like things where looking up.

"Do you think this will work out?" he asked me.

"I think it will be alittle awkward for awhile but I think everyone will be alright." I said.

"I really am not comfortable with him here." he said.

"Are you afraid he's going to hurt Ali?" I asked.

"No. I don't think he will hurt her or you. I just... well... never mind." Jaz said hanging his head.

At that moment it clicked for me why he was upset. "You're worried I may go back to him." I said quietly. He nodded slowly not meeting my gaze. I continued softly, "Jaz, there is no one on this earth I would rather be with. I am yours, I will always be yours, and my heart has always belonged to you, although I didn't realize it. I love you. I thought I loved him once but now I realize I was in like not in love."

"I love you too. So there's no part of you the still has feelings for him?" he asked.

"I will always care about him and what happens to him. He's family but I feel for him like I feel for Emmett and Rose or Pop's." I reassured him. He nodded watching Ali and Edward play.

"Is that your only issue with this?" I asked

"Yeah." He said.

"Jaz, he's your brother. You need him." I said.

"I know." he said.

After an hour of pushing Ali in her swings, sliding her down the slide, and following her down to the chicken pen, Edward had finally worn Ali out. He brought her to the porch and rocked her to sleep.

"I never realized what a privilege this was until I couldn't do it anymore." He whispered, "Do you mind if I lay her down?"

"No go ahead. She's still in the same room." I said.

He stood to his feet and took her to bed. Jaz and I walked inside too. Jaz took the glasses to the kitchen to wash them and I went into the living room and perched on the couch. I grabbed my computer and checked my email. I had one from my publisher. She had another specific idea for me that I know we inspired by Ali. She wanted me to write a book on adoption. I was overwhelmed in that moment as I thought of all that was being thrown my way and tears welled in my eyes.

"Bella, Are you ok?" Edward asked coming over to sit beside me wrapping a supportive arm around me.

"What happened?" Jaz asked charging into the room.

"I'm fine! I just got a new book assignment from my publisher." I said softly.

"What is it? Why are you upset?" Jaz asked softly while sitting on the coffee table in front of me. He laid my computer to the side and took my hands in his.

"I'm not upset. Kate wants me to write a book on adoption. I was thinking about how to write it and everything that has happened this year just overwhelmed me. I'm ok. It's just with every thing that is going on I haven't had time to really see the big picture. It's just, wow!" I said.

"Is adopting Ali too much?" Edward asked concerned.

"No! She's the only reason I keep my sanity sometimes. She is the bright spot in my day. It's just everything surrounding it what Carlisle has done, Esme's illness, finding Jaz's Mom and Bree. So much has happened and it just all caught up with me. I love that little girl with all that I am. There is alot of things that are to much but being her mom is not one of them." I said firmly pulling myself together.

We all seemed to realize how close we all were together. Edward took his arm out from around my shoulders and scooted over giving me a full couch cushion to my self. Jaz looked into my eyes and pulled back letting my hands go and moving to the over sized chair beside me. We sat there for a minute before I chuckled, "This is so awkward!"

"I suppose it is." Edward mused.

"It will be for awhile." Jaz reasoned.

"So now what?" Edward asked.

"Well, we could talk about why it's awkward." I suggested then seeing the two men exchange an uncomfortable look I added, "or not."

"No we should talk." Edward said, "Let's see where to began. There's the fact that I almost killed you in the entree way. For one thing." he was trying to keep his tone light but there was a pained tone in his voice.

"Edward," I said.

"Bella, I nearly killed you. When I sat there watching you in the hospital before I was arrested I thought you were dying. I couldn't believe I had done that to you. Accidentally or not it still happened because I threw a temper tantrum. I know you can't trust me anymore. I also see the way you are with him." He said nodding at Jaz, "I don't know how he does it but you are just so confident now. I never could bring that out in you. It seemed you never could quite be yourself with me. I still love you but I see why you love him. Bella, I am trying hard to let you go and be ok with it. Like he did when you where mine."

"I know how it feels and I'm sorry you're hurting." Jaz said softly.

"At least you didn't do it to me intentionally." Edward said.

"Yeah, I heard about that." Jaz said.

I was confused and a silent conversation passed between them, "What?"

"Well, I talked to Emmett before I asked you out." Edward began.

"Edward, don't." Jaz told him.

"I knew there was something between you. Emmett warned me that Jaz was going to ask you out and that I should stay out of the way. I agreed and then beat him to asking you out acting as if I didn't know that Jasper liked you. It started as spite but then I fell in love with you." Edward continued ignoring Jasper's plea.

"Why would you do that to him?" I stammered my ire bubbling to the surface. "So, I was nothing more then a tool used to hurt Jasper and for what? Be cause you had to move."

"No! I mean... It may have started that way but once I knew you, I fell in love with you." he said.

"You... " I started only to be interrupted be Jaz.

"Darlin' calm down. It's in the past. Please let it stay in the past." he said taking my hand.  
>My eyes bored into Edward's.<p>

"You used me." I spat, "because you knew it would hurt him."

"I'm sorry! It was wrong." Edward said sounding very repentant.

"He was just a kid, Darlin'. Can you really judge someone for something they did as a child?" Jaz said softly tracing circles on the back of my hand with his thumb.

I whipped around fully intending to tell him to cram it but one look at him melted away.

"Bella, I am so sorry." he said his voice cracking.

"I guess it all worked out in the end." I quipped getting one last dig in.

"Bella, please don't be cruel." Jasper begged.

"I deserved that." Edward said, "Maybe I should go."

"No, not yet! Not like this." Jaz said, "I don't want to leave things like this."

"Jaz, I'm sorry." I said feeling alittle guilty for causing his stress.

"Why don't we change the subject?" Edward said gently.

"That would be good. There is alot of shit between us. We have to all be forgiving if we are going to get past all of this." Jaz said miserably.

"I know, I have done some horrible things to you Jasper. I'm really sorry. There isn't a way for me to change the past but I do want to make it right." Edward said.

I sat lost in thought while Jaz talked to his brother. I was so angry with Edward. He knew that Jaz loved me so solely for the purpose of causing him pain he asked me out not really caring about me. Who does that? Edward broke my thoughts.

"Bella? Can we talk?" He asked.

"This is a bad idea!" Jaz said.

A slow smile crossed my face, "We can talk. Jaz can stay with Ali and I will walk you to your car."

"I figured as much." he said grimly, "Jasper, it's ok. WE" gesturing from Jaz to himself, "are good. She needs to get this out and I deserve it."

"I know." Jaz sighed.

I led the way to his car and turned to face him. He waited on me to unload on him and unload I did!

"I never knew the kind of person you were. The real you is a terrible excuse of a human being. You set all of this in motion when you screwed Jaz over by asking me out. I never would have dreamed that you knew! You, son of a bitch! I wish I could banish you from my life! But I can't." I was breathing hard from my rant.

"I know right now you hate me. There's nothing to be done about that. I know you don't want me around." He started.

"I don't exactly hate you. I am pissed! You hurt us all. We need to come to some sort of truce for Jasper and Ali's sake." I said.

"Truce?" He asked.

"Truce." I sighed.

"I will try to make this easy." he said.

"Right. Look Edward, is there anything else I should know? If so, I would rather you spill it now. I want to get everything out in the open now so I can be pissed then get over it." I said looking him in the eye.

"You know what I did." He said.

"Did you know he still had feelings for me when we announced our engagement?" I ask.

"Yes." he said.

"So when you asked him to be your best man?" I prompted.

"By then I loved you. I could see the feelings towards him in your eyes every time you looked at him. I was afraid that he would try to take you from me. So I asked him to be my best man to prove to him you chose me." he said.

"But I didn't chose you, Edward. I was never given the choice. If given the choice it would have been him." I shouted at him then softly, "It's always been him."

"I know that! I have always known that. Bella, back then everyone chose Jasper over me. Even mom liked Jasper better. I just wanted to beat him at something! Anything." He said.

"So I was grand prize!" I said.

"I'm sorry." he said.

"You keep saying that." I seethed.

"I know! Bella it was wrong of me. I know I am an ass! I just wanted someone to love me more then him. I didn't think about it hurting you." he said.

"You think of life as a game Edward. You always have an angle to work. Even with me you tried to win. When I got the book deal you busted ass trying to best me. You were miserable that my book was doing so well. I think that's what your relationship with Sarah started as. Is she still in the picture?" I asked.

"No. When I was convicted she dumped me. She was just a distraction from the shame I was feeling. With her I was somebody. With you I was Bella's husband. I was invisible." He said.

"You weren't to me! If you had talked to me and let me know I would have given up writing." I told him.

"Then I would have been Bella's husband the insecure dick that made his wife abandon her passion!" he said, "Now I'm just the dick that tossed it all away."

"No, you are Edward Cullen: Esme's little boy, Jasper's brother and my friend. You always let the world define you. Define yourself, Edward. Decide who you are and then be him! I understand a little bit more now than I did but Edward you can't be that manipulative person ever again." I said.

"I know, Bella. I won't be him again." I said.

"Good!" I said as I started to walk away then turned around, "Hey, Edward! Don't screw this up because you will get no other chance."

"Bella, I know you are tired of hearing it but I am sorry." He said.

"Do you know why it always made me so angry before when you would apologize?" I asked.

"Yes. The times before they were empty but this time I am determined to change. I want to make everything right. I know I will have to prove it to you." he said.

"You're right, Edward. You will have to prove it." I said before walking back to the house where Jasper was standing anxiously in the doorway. Probably hoping I hadn't sent his brother running for the hills. I noticed he smiled and waved. I turned to see Edward smiling and waving back. I walked past Jaz into the house waiting Edward to leave and Jaz to come in to the living room.

"So that seemed amicable." Jaz commented.

"Did it seem that way?" I smirked.

"Well, he left with out a limp. So that's something." he smiled.

"You kind checked out on our conversation. Every now and again you would mutter 'Who does that?' Edward and I talked over the coarse of that time. I think I understand why he did what he did. Bella, I think I am ready to forgive him." He said.

"I gave him a chance to explain himself. I told him I would give him a chance but Jaz, if he screws up I want nothing more to do with him. I will not be manipulated again." I growled.

He smiled, "I didn't figure you would forgive him easily for using you to hurt me. Bella, I have known for a while. I wasn't happy about it but it's not a huge deal."

"He hurt you and he used me to do it." I spat.

"I know. It took alot of guts to come clean to us. Especially knowing that you wouldn't forgive him easily but he did it anyway." he said.

"I know. And I did call a truce and told him I would give him a chance to right the wrongs." I said.

That evening we went to see Esme. She loved the cheesecake stuffed strawberries we brought and then asked me to do her hair so I braided her hair and then she colored a picture with Jaz.

Dr. Call came in with Edward on his heals and asked, "Mr. Whitlock may I speak with you out in the hall?"

"Whitlock? That's my name." Esme said, "Am I yours?" she asked Jaz.

Jasper smiled at her and said, "Yes Esme, we are family. I am going to go talk to Edward and the doctor. I will come back and we will finish the picture, ok."

"Ok." she said alittle dejected.

"I'll stay with you." I said. I watched as a smile crossed her lovely face.

"Thank you." She said. Her voice sounded so small.

I could tell something was weighting on her mind and finally she asked, "Bella, what's going to happen to me?"

"What do you mean Esme?" I asked not quite sure what she was meaning.

"I don't know much about before here. The people here get sad when I ask and say, 'We'll talk about it later.' Then they never do."

"How about Jasper and I talk with you about it?" I said.

"You're just like them!" she shouted flopping on her bed, "No one will tell me anything!"

"Esme, I will talk to you I just need Jasper here too so we can tell you everything." I said hoping that would quell her anger.

The nurse came in at that moment and said, "Bella, they need to talk to you too. I will stay with Esme."

"Why? No I don't want her to go too. Everyone leaves me!" Esme sobbed.

"Esme, I will come back. I promise." I said stroking her hair.

"They need to discuss where your home should be." said the nurse.

"Promise you'll come back?" Esme ask trough her tears.

"I promise! Hey while I'm away why don't you show her your hair." I said.

"Jeanie! Look! Bella braided my hair." Esme was chattering excitedly.

I made my way down the hall to an opened office where Edward, Jasper, Lillian, Dr Call, and Mrs. Blair another social worker where waiting. I took a seat next to Jasper as Dr. Call started talking.

"Bella to catch you up. We will be releasing Esme to either Jasper or the State Mental Facility. Mrs. Blair is Esme's social worker. Since Esme is mentally incapable of making decisions for herself we need someone to take that responsibility for her. Mrs. Blair is opposed to the idea of her living with Edward considering his recent conviction. So She is recommending she is place with you all or in the State facility." he told me.

"The State facility is 4 hours away. We couldn't make that drive everyday." I barked more harshly then I intended.

"So are you suggesting your home, Mrs. Whitlock?" Asked Mrs. Blair.

"I was told that Esme was a danger to Ali and couldn't be around her?" I stammered sadly.

"In light on the fact that she was drugged and isn't violent now, I would say as long as you don't leave Ali alone with Esme it would be alright." Lillian said gently.

"It will be like having a young child and a baby." Mrs. Blair said.

"Bella, is this too much to take on? All of this responsibility is going to rest most heavily on you." Jaz said sadly.

"I won't let them put her away in some home." I hissed.

"So she will live with us?" he said.

"Of course. She has nowhere else to go. She would do the same for anyone of us in a heartbeat. We will figure this out." I said.

"I will help in anyway I can." Edward told us. He looked so sad not to even be considered fit to care for his mother.

"So Mr. And Mrs. Whitlock, you will gain Esme's power of attorney and agree that she will reside with you at you farm." Mrs. Blair said.

"Yes ma'am. She will live with us at our farm." Jaz said and with that the meeting was over. Lillian said that we had a court date to adopt Ali of July 13th. Good things always seemed to happen for me on a Friday the 13 so I was happy with that. I noticed Edward staring at me in question. I didn't want him to find out this way. I mouthed 'we will talk later.' He nodded in response and then was disappeared out the door. Mrs. Blair and Dr. Call remained in the room with us. Jasper and I signed the necessary paper work.

"I will release her tomorrow. I ran another toxicology screening that will be ready tomorrow morning. I want to make sure there aren't any more drugs in her system. I did put her on DEPAKOTE to control the seizures that the cocktail Carlisle was giving her caused. I'm surprised it didn't kill her. I should have known something was up with her progression so rapid. I had never seen a case progress so quickly. We are going to need to do a blood test every month to check Esme's liver but other then that I have no concerns at this time. I am also setting her up with daily therapy with a psychiatrist Dr Jacob Black. He will come to your home every weekday and have a session with her. She is growing up alittle mentally daily. I think if he continues to work with her she could progress to an adolescent mentally. I will see you here tomorrow at nine." Embry said and was gone.

"Mr. And Mrs." She started.

"Please call us Bella and Jasper!" I said, "It's getting late and I promised Esme I would come back. Do you mind if I go say goodnight real fast?"

"I only need one of you." She smiled.

"I got this Darlin' go. I'll come find you when I am done." Jaz told me.

As I walked up to Esme's door Edward whispered hoarsely, "Hello, Mrs. Whitlock."

"Edward, I didn't mean for you to find out this way. Let me go say good night to Esme and then we will talk."

"Alright." He whispered.

I forced a smile and walked in to Esme's room.

"You came back!" She smiled.

"I told you I would. I came to say goodnight. I have to go home and get a room ready for you. Tomorrow you are going to come home with Jasper and I. Would you like to live with us?" I said.

"Yes! YES! Yes!" she chanted, "Bella will you tuck me in?"

I chuckled and tucked her covers around her and kissed her forehead, "See you tomorrow Esme."

"Night!" Esme yawned.

I stepped out of the room to find Edward leaning on the wall. I followed him to the waiting room and we sat beside each other.

"I wish you would have told me." He said.

"There's more to it then that. Only a handful of people know." I told him.

"Why? Is it because you were afraid of me?" He asked.

"No. Jaz was going to ask me to marry him this summer and we were going to get married after he finished Law school next summer. When Carlisle signed Ali over to the state the judge suggested that we adopt her. So we spoke to a lawyer. He said that our case would be stronger if we were married. The reason we aren't telling anyone is to avoid judgment when Jaz goes back to school. I start college here this fall and with Ali I can't go running off to Seattle all the time. Listen, Jaz isn't happy about going back to school so please don't give him a hard time about it. I worked hard to talk him into going back in the first place. I do think I am going to hold off on school another year. I can focus on my writing and Ali and Esme." I summarized for him.

"I can't go back now, Bella. That would leave you to deal with Ali and Mom and don't put off school." Jaz said coming to sit on the other side of me.

"Jaz, I was thinking about just taking one class this fall. I think I will take a year to get everyone in a routine and let everything settle down. There is one online class I want to take." I said.

"I can come and take Mom out to lunch and the movies while Ali is napping one day and then take Ali and mom to that park for a day every week. That would give you 2 afternoons a week to do your class work." Edward offered.

"That sounds great. See Jaz, I have help. I will still be writing books and I can still be here for Ali and Esme." I said grinning because I knew he was going to go back to school.

"Alright. We will talk about it later." he said.

"Do you need help getting mom's stuff?" Edward said.

"If you want to. Sorry, you found out like that." Then turning to me, "Bella, I called your dad. He took Ali home with him tonight so we could get ready for Mom."

"Bella explained everything. I understand." Edward said.

"Are we still good?" Jaz asked him.

"We're good. I'm going to go home and start packing up mom's things." He said.

"We'll follow you." Jaz said.

We worked together getting Esme's favorite things. We packed all the boxes in two cars and headed to the farm. We unpacked boxes until nine and realized none of us had eaten supper. Edward went to grab pizza and I made fresh tea. Jaz and I continued unpacking until Edward returned. We sat on the couch and discussed the future.

"On July forth I am taking Bella to pick up her horse. Can you stay with Esme and Ali?" Jasper asked Edward.

"Yeah, I can do that." He said, "When do you go back to school?"

"August the eighth." Jasper said.

"Do you need me to help take care of anything? I don't want to be underfoot but if you need anything all you can count of me." He started.

"I think I have everything covered except for when I need someone to stay over on weekends I go see Jaz." I said.

"Consider it done." Edward said, "Which afternoon's would you like to have a break on?"

"I'm not sure. It really doesn't matter. I can do class work anytime. I need to get everyone settled into a routine before I will know that." I smiled.

"Just let me know. Can I come see mom tomorrow?" He asked.

"She's your mom too, you can come see her any time you like." Jaz told him.

We discussed a few more details and then got back to work. By 1 a.m. we finally had Esme's stuff in the room that was once Jasper's. We were exhausted. I went to take a shower leaving the boys to talk. Jaz popped his head in as I was changing and asked if I minded if Edward just stayed in the guest room for tonight. I said that was fine but I felt alittle strange about it. I dressed in a pair of yoga pants and a tank top. I called my goodnight down the stairs and went to bed. Jaz came to bed about thirty minute later. It seemed as though I closed my eyes and the alarm clock was screaming.

I padded down to the kitchen and started coffee. Jaz and Edward already had the remainder of last night's pizza out devouring it.

"Cold pizza for breakfast?" I chuckled.

"Just like old times." Jaz smiled.

"Except mom isn't telling us that's gross and to heat it up." Edward grinned.

I chuckled grabbing a slice heading to the microwave.

"Just try it!" Jaz said jumping into my way.

"Jaaaaaaz," I groaned.

"Beeeeeelllla." Both men mocked me.

"Fine!" I said taking a bite, "It's not bad but I prefer mine heated." I said stepping around Jaz and heating my pizza.

"This is turning into a frat house." I grumbled as I sat down with my pizza.

"Morning, Grouchy!" Edward teased lightly.

"Yeah! Yeah!" I grumped back.

Jaz put his coffee into my hand and said, "Drink!" as he went to fix him another cup. I drank the coffee fast and could feel in warming me inside and improving my mood. Jaz sat another cup in front of me and sat down with his.

"I figured we would need to super charge today." He grinned, "Is it ok with you if Edward rides over with us to get mom?"

"Yes! It's fine. I want to arrive alittle early. So I can see what Esme's routine is like so we can continue it at home." I said.

We called dad and told him to bring Ali home at noon. Then we headed to get Esme. We spoke to Dr. Call first.

He told us, "The screening came back and all traces of the drugs Carlisle has been giving her are gone but their effects are major. Esme's kidneys are having trouble keeping up. I want to monitor her closely. To see if her kidney function improves I need to do a weekly blood test. We will do it here because she doesn't like needles and we can make her more comfortable here. She may need dialysis but we won't know for sure for a couple of weeks. If you need anything call my cell phone directly." He said handing me a business card with the number scrawled across the back with Esme's prescriptions, "I have her medication list and a copy of the schedule we had here for her meds. Also, She is going to have alot of questions about her life before she can remember. She knows she lost all of her memories. I would start revealing small, insignificant things at first. I have set her up with Dr. Black to help her deal with her memory loss. He thinks it is important to let her find herself. Right now she can't handle the fact that she has children. He thinks she will have to grow up all over again."

"Ok. Can I get a copy of Esme's daily routines? I would like to keep her on the same schedule to make her transition as smooth as possible." I asked.

"Of course. I will have the activities director copy her schedule for you." He smiled.

As we left his office we headed to Esme's room. She chattered excitedly as the nurses got her ready to go. She reminded me of a child as she bounced to the car. Edward reminded her to put her seat belt on and then we were off. She was glued to the window fascinated as we turned into the drive. She cheered as she saw the horses.

"Can we go pet those horses? Are they trained? Can we ride them? I saw a lady on TV riding one." She asked grinning turning to Edward.

"Yes, on all three." Jaz said, "Bella and I will have to let you ride some time."

"She's afraid of horses, Jaz." Edward muttered.

"No, I'm not!" Esme insisted looking at Edward like he was crazy.

"You use to be. When I was little you would panic anytime I would go near our neighbors fence." he sighed.

"You knew me when we were kids?" she asked.

"Yes, Esme we knew you. You were awesome back then too." I said trying to give Edward time to recover from his blunder.

I led her down to the fence and called Ace and Duce. They lumbered lazily to the fence. Duce leaned over the fence much to Esme's delight. I smiled as I watched a very child like Esme run her hands over the gentle old creature. They responded well to each other. Duce closed his eyes and leaned into Esme's hands gently and she softly rubbed her hands over his head and neck. We stayed with the horses until Esme got hungry and we went back to the house. I let her decide what to eat. She chose the pizza box. While I heated up a piece of pizza for her much to the boys delight she joined them in snagging pizza from the box and ate it cold.

"Pretty good huh?" Edward asked her.

"This is really good. Bella I just want mine cold." she said grabbing a second piece.

I had to chuckle as I ate the warmed piece. New Esme was going to be like meeting a new person. After she finished her cold pizza she was curious about her bedroom.

We entered the bedroom and her face fell. "Oh." Esme said glumly and she walked over and poked and the white comforter she had once prized. The room was decorated in White with Blue accents with kind on an ocean theme like the old Esme would have loved.

"Esme, would you like to go shopping tomorrow and decorate your room." I asked her.

"Yes. Why is everything blue and white? I'm not a boy." She said.

"Esme, This was your stuff." Edward said entering the room.

"Why did I pick blue?" She asked.

"It was given to you." I said.

"Tomorrow we will go shopping and you can pick stuff you like." I said realizing that she liked this stuff because it made Carlisle happy, "Esme, I have another room I want you to look at. Then you can decide which room you want." I said leading her to the other guest room. It had Jasper's old bedroom suit. It was a white wooden twin daybed, a white dresser, and a white bedside table. There was also a desk and a chair. She had decorated this room to be more feminine the lavender comforter was graced with tiny white rose buds I had a feeling this was truly Esme. Jaz had even drawn a few pictures that I had framed and hung on the walls.

I opened the door and Esme charged in and squealed, "Can I have this room?"

"Yes, you may." I chuckled. Edward started moving her clothes while she sat at her desk. Jasper had a new sketchpad and a few of his charcoal pencils lying on the desk. Esme started doodling on the paper. Dad came in with Ali and watched the scene with a furrowed brow. He knew Esme was different but wasn't prepared for just how different.

"Esme, there is someone else who lives here too that you haven't met. Jasper and I have a baby named Ali. " I began.

"Okay. Is she loud? Most babies are loud." she said thoughtfully.

"She's not terribly loud. Do you want to come say hello!" I asked as Ali's gaze settled on her. There was a hint of recognition but she quickly lost interest in Esme.

"Maybe later. I want to draw a picture to hang in my room." Esme said not once looking up.

"We will be down stairs if you need anything." I told her as everyone headed down stairs.

She never looked up she was to wrapped up in her artwork. As we filed down stairs I stole a glance at her boys. Both looked sad. Their mother was lost to them right now. We sat in the living room looking at each other.

"She looks good." Dad offered, "Happy even."

"She is happy. She's forgotten all her worries and she loves Bella and Jasper." Edward mused sadly.

"Edward she loves you too. She doesn't remember any of us. She became attached to Jaz and I so quickly only because we have the same last name as her. We are all going to have to rebuild relationships with her. She's not the same person she was." I said from my place tucked into Jaz's side.

"I suppose your right." Edward said looking over at us trying to hide the pain that seeing Jaz and I sitting close together with his arm draped over me caused him but I saw it, "Hey, Jasper? I know we haven't discussed what you are going to do with it but do you mind if I move back into mom's house."

"Not at all. You can live there. I don't have time to deal with the upkeep on it. That would actually be perfect." Jaz said.

"Thanks! I think I'm going to go." he said making a quick escape.

"Well, that was surprisingly friendly." dad said.

"What was friendly?" Pop's said snagging Ali off of dad's lap as he came in.

"Edward was just here. He behaved himself." dad said with a chuckle, "It still bothers him to see the kids together though."

"I never even thought of that." Jaz said.

"Why do you care? He didn't care when it was you." dad said.

"He knows how it feels." Pop's said quietly, "and he would never make his brother feel that way on purpose."

That ended the conversation.

Esme had settled in well during the following weeks. She fell into a routine. She would wake up around eight in the morning and eat breakfast with us and most of the time Pop's. Then she would play with Ali on the swing set or out side while I sat on the porch and observed them for an hour or so. Although Esme and Ali didn't remember they were mother and daughter they still had a deep connection. Esme would meet with Dr Black. Esme was progressing rapidly as Drs Call and Black had predicted. When we brought her home she was around 5 and now she had progressed to around 10. Around eleven Esme would come in and watch TV while I cooked lunch. After lunch she would read or draw while I put Ali down for a nap. She recently started reading a children's series called The Saddle Club about three little girls who loved horses. She loved it. After I got Ali down Esme and I would bake something. She still loved to bake. She would have down time to do with what ever she pleased. Sometimes she would want me to play a game with her, sometimes she would go up to her room and read or draw, and other times she would watch TV. After Ali woke up we would have a snack and then play until Jaz got home. Jaz took Esme to ride horses. While I cooked supper and Ali played with kitchen set mimicking me. While supper was in the oven I had playtime to play with Ali unless Jaz swiped her to go riding with him and Esme. Which he did a couple times a week. On those days I would go take a hot bubble bath. Then we had supper as a family and more often then not Dad, Pops, and/or Edward where there. Someone always swiped my grocery list while they where there. They insisted that they needed to replace the food they had eaten. Around eight thirty Esme was in the shower and she put herself to bed at nine. This was the schedule except on Mondays and Thursdays. On Mondays at 2 pm Edward would come over and take her out to the movies and then to dinner and on Thursdays he would take her and Ali to the park and out for ice cream then bring them home just in time for supper.

We had our engagement party and Victoria, Rylie, and Bree met Esme who was very polite and well mannered. Edward had stayed with us in the guestroom and let Victoria, Bree, and Rylie stay at his house. Rose and Emmett where less then civil to Edward which upset Esme and Jaz terribly so I pulled them to the side and talked to them about it. They opted to stay with the Hale's since Edward was around so much. Edward made himself scarce during the party, which we understood. Edward was coping well with Jaz and I being together.

**_AN***********************************************************************************_**

**_(I know you_** **_I know you were probably expecting a detailed wedding story but with everything else happening in this chapter I felt it was WAY too busy! I promise there will be a detailed description of Jaz and Bella's wedding that is coming in future chapters.)_**

We took Esme and Ali to Emmett and Rosalie's following weekend. She loved it and sat through the whole thing. It was amazing how far she had come from the day we brought her home. Dr Black had accompanied us to make sure no one gave her too much information for which I was grateful to him. After Rosalie threw the bouquet and they left for their honeymoon we got in the car to go. Edward had Ali down for a nap and was rocking on the porch. He still didn't feel right about being in the house without us there. Esme entrenched herself in one of her books and so Edward, Jaz, and I sat on the couch. Jaz flicked on the TV and settled on watching a baseball game.

We watched until suppertime when Edward decided to take us all out to share some big news with us. He even invited dad and Pops. Although they had far from forgiving him for what he had done they grudgingly agreed to go. Edward was really trying to make up for his past. I think his dad disowning him and Esme's forgetting him (due to her illness) really hit him hard. He could see Pops and Jaz's relationship and hoped to forge his own relationship with us all on day. I had pulled Dad and Pops aside discretely and talked with them about being nice. They both said they would and we all sat down to dinner. After we had ordered our food we all stared at Edward expectantly.

"I asked you all here because you are the only ones I have left to share with. I consider you all my family. I have done some horrible things and yet you all are still speaking to me. I want so badly to make up for me past. But I'm getting off track here." he smiled shakily. I saw Jaz out of the corner of my eye give him and encouraging smile. He took a deep breath, "This is a dinner to celebrate my getting my old job back. Thank you Charlie! Without your explanation of the events that lead to the charges to the judge and his subtle tweaks to the conviction it wouldn't have been possible."

"That's great!" Jaz smiled.

"Edward your welcome. When the hospital called me I knew that you weren't a danger to your patients." dad told him, "I'm glad you are going back to work."

Everyone conveyed their congrats and then they brought out food. We ate and visited. It was almost like a normal family meal toward the end. Everyone loosened up and then Edward paid the bill. Pops and dad went home and the rest of us re-convened at the park. Edward played with Esme and Ali while Jaz and I sat and watched.

"Did you ever think it would work out this well?" Jaz asked me.

I smiled and said, "Not this easy! I figured we could work at it and it would be an alright thing but he seems almost at peace with things."

"Yeah, I know." Jaz said.

After a couple hours it was time to head home. We said good-bye to Edward and drove home.


	9. Chapter 9

Don't own Twilight!

AN: this is one of those very eventful chapters! Enjoy!

Bella POV

Jaz and I decided to trade in his truck for a double cab to accommodate out growing family. By the way remind me NEVER to take Ali and Esme car shopping again! Esme saw a canary yellow convertible mustang and wanted Jaz to get it. Jaz explained to her that we needed a big work truck for the farm. Wow! If I ever pouted like that at my father I am SOOOOOO SORRY! I need to tell him so. Ali just wanted down to run around. I ended up calling Edward to come get them. He chuckled when I told him what was going on. When he got there Esme pouted not wanting to go home. She wouldn't even order and ice cream when he took them out. When we got home she was laying across her bed with her door shut still mad.

"I bought her the ice cream she usually gets anyway. When I tried to hand it to her she glared at me and asked 'Do your ears work! I said no ice cream.' She got major attitude!" Edward chuckled, "So there is a mint chocolate chip waffle cone in a cup in the freezer.

"Thanks for rescuing us today!" Jaz said, "Poor Bella was a bit frazzled Jaz chuckled.

"No problem! I am a bit worn out myself. I think I'm going home to take a nap." He chuckled.

Tomorrow was the 4th of July. Dad had taken Ali to spend the night with him and Esme had insisted that it was only fair that she got to go spend the night somewhere too. After checking with her social worker it was decided that she would spend the night with Edward. Edward was excited but terrified at the same time. It was around six pm and Edward was picking up Esme.

"Edward, relax. It's like having a preteen. She likes to do girly stuff." Jaz told him give him a reassuring smile, "And you have our numbers if you need anything."

"Thanks! Enjoy your trip." He said watching Esme bounce to his car for her first sleep over with Edward.

We watched them go and once they were out of sight Jaz scooped me into his arms and carried me upstairs. That night we made love. This was the first time we had been alone in the house in ages. We fell asleep tangled up together. I was up before the alarm refreshed and energized. Today I was going to have a kid free break. I loved Ali and Esme but being a stay at home mom is the most taxing job I believe I will ever have. I turned of the alarm and fixed Jaz coffee and reheated a couple muffins that Esme and I had baked and jogged back up stairs. I sat them on the nightstand and sat on Jaz's side of the bed. I leaned over and kissed him. He pulled me into the bed and pinned my beneath him. After we got our morning need met the coffee was cold. We ate out muffins and got ready. We waited on Pops to get to the farm so we could go pick up my horse.

Jaz drove pulling the trailer behind our new truck. He stopped for gas and I ran to get some coffee. I passed out the coffee and we were on the road. During the thirty-minute drive Pops informed me that he had bought me a saddle and bridle set to go with the horse. He told me it was a wedding present. As we pulled up to the horse sale Pop's pointed out a truck and trailer off to the side.

We greeted Pops' friend and then he unloaded the most beautiful horse I had ever seen. He was even more gorgeous than he was in the picture. There was a tiny silvery gray Shetland pony that scrambled out of the trailer and came to stand beside my horse. Jaz quickly explained that Diesel had been a show horse and traveled so much that he got bored and lonely. They got him a companion pony to keep him company and that they were a package deal. As I walked up to my new horse the little one stepped into my path insisting that I scratch his silky ears. Pops chuckled and clipped a lead rope to his halter. I learned that the pony's name was shadow because he never strayed to far from Diesel's side. Diesel nickered softly and softly nuzzled his buddy. I already loved how affectionate he was. As I approached him he softly nuzzled my hand and just enjoyed being the center of attention. When we loaded the two horses up I had a thought. I asked the previous owner if Shadow was broke to ride. He confirmed that he was. He said that he bought Shadow from a jockey. Her kids had out grown him and were riding race horses so Shadow was sold. Ali girl had a horse too.

As we were walking back to the truck Pops took a misstep and his knee buckled. He went down hard. Jaz and I rushed to his side.

"Jaz, call an ambulance!" I ordered.

"No! You all take me home! I won't be strapped to a bed and then wait for hours just to find that its just a sprain!" Pops barked.

"Pops, you need…" I started.

"Don't tell me what I need!" He growled hobbling to the truck leaning heavily on Jaz.

On the way home he fell asleep. I watched as he grimaced with every bump we hit. After talking to Dr Embry Call on the phone it was decided that we there stopping at the hospital. Dad was going to meet us and take the horses home for us and Edward would meet him at the house to watch Esme and Ali while dad settled the horses into a stall in the barn. We knew Pops would not be pleased but I wasn't pleased about the prospect of just dropping him off at home. Unfortunately when we got there he refused to get out of the truck.

"I meant what I said! I will go to the doctor when I am damned well good and ready too and not a second before!" he shouted, "Now TAKE ME HOME!" he bellowed.

So back in the truck we went but there was no way he was going home! He could kick and scream if he chose to (and he probably would) but Edward was taking the battery out of his truck due to a call from Jaz and Pops was going to be staying the long holiday weekend with us. Dad was waiting to help get Pops into the house when we pulled up. True to form Pops expressed his extreme displeasure at being told he was staying. He didn't kick but there was an awful lot of hollering until Ali started giggling for the porch. She squealed and giggled so loud that she captured Pops attention. Pops quieted down and quit fussin'. Jaz and dad positioned him in to the recliner and Ali perched herself on his lap. She babbled happily and melted his heart. Esme was staring out the window and the horses.

I smiled and asked her if she wanted to help me get them to the barn. She nodded and bounced out to the trailer. I told her to stand behind me giving her a lead rope and open the trailer gate.

"Come on buddy! Back up!" I called to Diesel. He obediently stepped back out of the trailer and I clipped the rope to his halter. Then came Shadow to the edge of the trailer and peeked out at Esme and me.

She giggled at the goofy little horse and said, "Peek-a-boo!" Shadow raised his tiny head and sniffed the air. Then took a step back popping his head back into the trailer. Esme laughed and his antics. I clipped her rope to him and coaxed the silly little thing out of the trailer. He sniffed Esme and was content to stand there and let her rub his ears. She walked beside me as we lead the horses to the stall that they would share for the night. Tomorrow I would introduce them to Ace and Duce but I really needed to go settle thing in the house. I sent Esme to get the water hose while I opened the outside stall door to the nice sized paddock the horses walked out and Diesel started grazing. Shadow waded through the grass that was taller then him. I started filling the outside water trough and Esme sat at the fence scratching Shadow's ears she had fallen in love with him. After the water trough was full Esme and I walked back to the house. Tomorrow we would all ride together.

As we entered the house I couldn't believe it. Dr. Call was there arguing with Pops.

"You need to go to the hospital and let me take some X-Rays. This will probably require surgery." Embry insisted.

"I told you before I would come see you at your office." Pops growled.

"And I will send you straight to the hospital." Dr Call quipped.

"Pops please go! I would feel a lot better!" I said kneeling beside him.

"I am out numbered! I'm not getting any piece and quiet until I go, am I?" he said scornfully.

"Not really!" I said.

"Fine! I'll go." He sighed defeated.

We had to take Ali and Esme with us because Edward's first shift back at the hospital was starting in less then thirty minutes. Pops would probably be his first x-ray back. Dad took the girls (Esme and Ali) as soon as Pops was in a wheel chair and took them back home.

Once he was signed in they rushed his through to an ER room. Dr Call ordered an X-Ray and Edward took him. Jaz and I sat and anxiously waited for his return. Dr Call was worried about a fracture. When Edward brought Pops back there was something in his eye. I knew something was wrong. Dr. Call took the films and placed them on the lighted board. There was a very pronounced break.

"This is going to have to be pinned." Dr Call said, "Do you have any questions, Mr. Clearwater?" He paused as Pops shook his head sullenly. "Do you have an advanced directive?"

"No!" Pops scowled.

"Ok. I will go call in the surgical team. The nurse will be in to go over all the paper work and then get you prepped and ready." Dr Call said retreating from the murderous glare Pops was delivering.

"Jaz, can you help me into this gown. I don't want those ladies to see me naked." he pouted.

I stepped outside the curtain and saw Charlotte (the lady that was so kinds to Jaz while I was here.) Standing there trying hard not to laugh.

"He's not happy." I said.

"Yeah, Poor Dr. Call was as white as a sheet when he ran out of there. He called for one of "the Brave" to go face him." she chuckled.

"I heard that!" Pops called.

"He's ready." Jaz called.

We entered and Pops began calming down as Charlotte talked to him. She explained the procedure and the after care. She started an IV and shaved his leg. Be the time she was finished shaving his leg she had him joking and even chuckling.

The anesthesiologist came in and gave him that soothing cocktail that knocked Pops out and he was whisked away into surgery. We were shown to the room they would bring him back to. I called dad and gave him an update. He had fed the girls lunch and put Ali down for a nap and he and Esme had brought Shadow into the front yard. Esme was brushing him and leading him around. He said he was planning to take them to see the fireworks show later and then he would put them to bed if one of us wasn't home by then. I thanked him and said good-bye. After my call I turned to Jaz who was looking terrified.

"Jaz, it's not like last time. He will come out of surgery and be ok." I comforted wrapping my arms around him.

"I know but this..." He started.

I looked around and realized where we were, "It's the same room." I whispered.

Edward strolled in with our very own nurse Ratchet, "We are switching him rooms." She said glancing at Edward.

Jaz and I followed them to a room down the hall. It's lay-out was a little different then the first one. Edward waited until the nurse had left and said, "I figured it maybe rough to be in that room again."

"Thanks! She doesn't look very happy." I said.

"She'll get over it!" Edward grinned.

He waited with us between x-ray calls until Dr. Call came in.

"Well, we pinned his leg together but he won't be able to be at home by himself for awhile." the Embry said.

""With Privacy laws are you allowed to tell us this?" Jaz asked.

"He has you listed as his son under the next of kin so I am allowed to talk to you and Bella." he confirmed.

" So were will he go?" Edward asked.

"He will come home with us!" I said, "There it a cable hook up on the dinning room and it's about the size of out living room and Ali's bedroom together. We can set up living area and bedroom and I want to put a door between the bathroom and Harry's room. It will be like a small studio apartment."

"I'm off tomorrow, do you need some help? " Edward asked Jaz.

"Yeah. I guess it's a good thing we worked on that construction crew through high school." Jaz grinned.

"I'll stay with Pops tonight and all day tomorrow. So you can get a good nights sleep and then get started on Harry's room." I said.

"Did you know that it was once his man cave?" Jaz grinned to me.

"Really?" I said.

"We could make him a man cave!" Edward said.

"I think he would like that." Jaz said.

"Well it sounds like a plan." Dr Call said.

"Wait! He's not going to be pleased! Wait til tomorrow to talk to him, Dr Call. I want to play up being "afraid" to be alone once Jaz goes back to school. Then tomorrow when you tell him that he can't be alone then I will ask him to move in and "help" me out while Jaz is away. I think if he feels like he is doing me a favor things will go alot smoother. So this conversation NEVER happened! Ok?" I said hopefully.

"You're probably right." Dr. Call said. Then held up and clicked his pen (Men in Black Style) and said, "You didn't see me. IT was all in your imagination." and dove out of the room.

The three of us laughed and waited on them to bring Pops back for the recovery room. When they finally did he stayed awake less then five minutes before dozing off again. The nurse said he would sleep for a couple hours at least. Edward got called back to do more x-rays so he told Jaz he would see him in the morning and said he would check in with me before he left for the evening. Jaz went home to start clearing the dinning room and getting the necessary lumber for the rooms transformation. I sat in the recliner beside Pops and read the book that Esme had left in the truck. Pops slept until after ten and woke up in pain. I called for the nurse who promptly gave him something to help. He asked me for a drink and then went back to sleep. Nurse Ratchet came back to check on him and scowled at me.

"Hump." she huffed and muttered something under her breath.

"Is there a problem?" I said irritated and not inclined to put up with her.

"You are the problem." She said walking around Pops bed heading to the door.

I quietly rose and met her in the doorway, "I can guess why you don't like me but I suggest you check your attitude at the door! I won't tolerate it!" I said as I walked back to my chair.

"Oh, No of coarse not! You will just get a new nurse to care for him! In fact you seem to be good at getting someone new, aren't you!" she quipped.

"Whoa! What's going on? What was that suppose to mean Linda?" Edward asked coming in.

"I...I just..." the grouchy nurse stammered.

"Linda, I know that you believe Bella was at fault for my problems but she wasn't. I cheated on her. So she divorced me. Then I flew into a rage when she moved on and attacked the guy, my own brother but still I attacked him and ended up almost killing her. I think it would be best in you traded a patient with Charlotte." he said.

She nodded stiffly and left the room. Edward turned to me, "Are you ok?"

"Yeah. She just pissed me off. Thanks for sticking up for me." I said.

He came to sit in the chair next to mine and said, "I didn't say anything that wasn't true. You have suffered enough because of me."

"Edward, I'm not suffering!" I said.

He chuckled and I looked over at him, "We are actually making this friend thing work!"

"Yeah, we are!" I answered.

"Well, I better get. If I'm going to go help Jasper tomorrow." He said.

"Edward?" I said.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"How come you don't call him Jaz like you used to?" I asked curiously.

"I called him Jaz before I screwed up. I don't know, I just feel like I lost the right to address him as a buddy anymore." he said shamefully.

"You are his brother and his friend. We agreed to leave the past behind and start over. You still have the right to call his Jaz. And plus it just bug the hell out of him." I said.

"Hum... I might just stick with Jasper then." he joked.

"Eddy." I chuckled knowing he hated the nick name, "How long do you think I would take me to get Esme and Ali to calling you, Eddy?"

"Alright! Alright! You win!" he said laughing softly, "Night Bells!"

"Good night Edward!" I said as he exited the room.

I dozed off and on waking to help Pops reposition or to call for pain meds. He woke up stiff and sore. He and I talked a little while and I told him that Dr Call would be in to talk to him today. He ate breakfast and then we just visited.

"So how's life treating you?" Pops asked tired of talking about how he was feeling.

"I'm alright! Life has thrown Jaz and I some curves but we're doing alright." I said.

"What about when Jaz leaves?" he said.

"I am dreading August 8th, when Jaz leaves for school." I said, "But this is what's best for us in the long run."

"He's dreading leaving too, you know." Pops said gently.

"I know, I am going to miss him but I figure I will have you, dad, and Edward over all the time. You all are probably going to get sick of me but with you all and Esme and Ali I won't be too lonely!" I said.

"One of us will be there to help you put everyone to bed." he promised.

"Ali goes down at 7:30 while Jaz is showering and Esme watches TV or reads then Esme quietly slips up to her room around eight and puts herself to bed. It's not that I will need help with them its I will be so lonely until bed time." I said starting to feel the heaviness in my chest. I took a big breath and tried to shake it off. This wasn't even an issue until I really had time to think about it.

"You know I will be there for you!" Pops said taking my hand.

"I know that." I said.

I called Jaz and let him and Edward know that Pops was awake. Pops visited with both of them. I was so glad that Pops was making an effort to include Edward. After they hung up I knew that Jaz would call Embry and give him the all clear to come talk to Pops.

"Pops, thanks for including Edward." I said.

"Well, I told you I would give him a chance. I can see he is trying. I guess I kind figured if I was Esme I would want someone to step in for me and be there for my kids. So I am trying treat Edward like I treat Jaz but he doesn't trust easily." Pops said.

"He doesn't feel he deserves it. He is being very hard on himself these days. Edward has always felt he is second best to everyone. He tries to hard sometimes." I said hoping that little bit of insight would help Pops build a relationship with Edward too. We visited about Edward's confession to me out by his car and how Edward was ashamed of himself. Pops understood always being second best. He shared with me about living in his brother, Billy s shadow then competing with a ghost after his brother was killed. He understood Edward to some degree.

"Good morning!" Dr Call chirped as he walked in.

"Morning, When can I go home?" Pops asked gruffly.

"Good morning Embry." I greeted.

"Well, you are going to need some help for a while. Is there anyone you can stay with for awhile?" Embry asked.

"Ah, No! I'll be fine!" he growled.

"Harry for two weeks you are going to be in bed with exception of trips to the bathroom. You will need someone with you." he argued.

"Pops?" I asked softly.

His head snapped around there was a harsh look that softened when he saw me, "What?" He asked

"Move in with me!" I said.

"Bella, the last thing you need is an Old man to take care of to on top of everything else you have to do. I would just be a burden." he said softly.

"Pops, I already cook, clean, and do laundry so it won't be any different. You would actually be helping me out. When Jaz next month I will need someone to help hold me together. You said you would help me. It's a perfect solution! You need a little help and I need company!" I said hopefully.

"Ok." he relented.

That evening Jaz and Edward brought Esme and Ali over. They had the door put in and then they had brought all Pops stuff over. Jaz was going to stay tonight while I spruced up the room and made the bed. Edward was going to help me arrange the furniture. Pops was ok with the idea of bunking in his old man cave. I let the girls visit for a few minutes then I took them home. After I fed them supper and put Ali to bed Edward come to help me move furniture. I fixed him a plate of left over supper and left him to eat while I made the bed and straightened the room up. I quickly went down and fed and watered the horses and chickens while Edward was there to keep an ear out for Esme and Ali.

After Edward left I cleaned the house and then wondered aimlessly. This is what life would be like when Jaz left to go back to school. I hated the thought but it came creeping in. I sat on the couch and stared at a blank tv.

I was startled were Edward spoke through the screen door, "You, ok?"

"Yeah." I replied.

"What''s wrong?" he asked entering the house and sitting beside me on the couch.

"Nothing! I was just thinking about this fall." I said.

"When Jaz leaves." he sighed. I nodded. "You know I will be here for you, right?" I guess my uncertain smile must have giving him the impression that I was worried about that too because he quickly added, "as your friend."

"Edward, I know as a friend. You have been very accepting of Jaz and I. I appreciate it." I said.

"Jaz, is kind of worried about me being her after he goes back to school. He hasn't said anything but I can tell." Edward said.

"It just hit me how much I would really miss him when I was talking to Pops. It wasn't really real yet until then. I mean yeah, I knew I would miss him but I just didn't realize how bad." I said as a tear escaped and rolled down my cheek.

"I called Jaz about five ago when I saw you upset. I was going to leave but he asked me to check on you! I am staying with Pops tonight to let you and Jaz have some time to talk about this." he said.

"No! If he knew it was going to upset me then he wouldn't go back. I won't do that to him. He has always dreamed of becoming a lawyer. I want him to live his dream." I said as another fat tear escaped then the flood gates opened and I was a sobbing mess pulling me into his chest. He rocked us on the couch trying to sooth me. He rocked us until I calmed down then said, "Bella, you need to talk to him. He will see you are upset. He pays attention. You may have been able to hide your feelings from me but Jaz is a good husband and he will pick up on it. No one said this would be easy. Do you think Jaz isn't going through the same thing? He is. He already misses you, mom, and Ali. Not to mention Pops." I looked up at him as he continued, "Got your attention, didn't I? Jaz and I talked today. He's dreading going back too. You started him thinking about it last night when you said you where going to talk to Pops. You two need to talk about this."

"Yes, we do need to talk." Jaz said walking in. Edward moved aside and Jaz sat down beside me, "When I got here, I was devastated for a second, frozen in my tracks at the sight of you holding my wife."

"Jaz, I..." Edward started.

"When I was standing there I heard to you talking. The whole conversation. I realize that you are stepping in to a brother-in-law position. I don't need to worry about you. Good night, Edward. And Thanks!" Jaz said to Edward as he retreated out the door.

"Darlin' you know you can talk to me." he said lifting my chin so he could look me in the eye.

"I was afraid you wouldn't go back. I hate this whole situation!" I groaned, "I am terrified of the day you leave. I would love it if you stayed but I would also hate it if you gave up on school. You are so close to finishing. Just 2 more semesters and then you are home."

"I love you." He said brushing his lips over mine, "I am going to be living in a small apartment there. Why don't you and the girls come stay with me there the rest of the week?"

"Jaz, I can't. Esme's going to start Occupational Therapy School August the sixth and Pops will be hereand then there's the animals." I said wishing there was a way I could go.

"We could have Edward stay with them." He said, "wait, no. Edward is starting classes on the sixth too. He's going to become a radiologist. Hey, What about your dad?"

"I will talk to him. Maybe Pops will be on his feet and can help out. Let's wait til alittle closer to time." I said.

We snuggled in to each other and he whispered, "I really would love to stay."

"But you know why you can't" I whispered back.

We held each other like it was the last time. Each of us realizing that each second that ticked by brought us closer to the Good-Bye we so desperately didn't want to say. We fell asleep still in each others arms on the couch. I was awakened by the sound of Esme moving around her room getting ready for her day. Jaz and I got up and headed for our bedroom to put on fresh clothes. Jaz jumped in the shower while I went to make a family breakfast. After our family had breakfast together Jaz had to work, Esme had an outing with Dr. Black for the day to check out her new School, and Ali and I were off to the hospital to see Pops.

Esme bounced to the car beside Dr Black. He told me he would bring her home at 4. Ali was strapped into her car seat and we went to the hospital. Dr Call had agreed to turn "the ol' goat" aka Pops loose if I had a room ready for him for him. I told Embry that I did and so Edward and Dad helped get Pops loaded and then followed us home. They helped Pops up the front porch steps and into his room. I settled Ali into her high chair with a few animal crackers and some juice then walked into the new "Man Cave" to see if Pops needed anything. The three men were watching a game with beers in hand. I quietly exited and took Ali outside.

She instantly wanted the horses. I took her down to see them She was just as fastened with Shadow as Esme was. I watched as the little guy poked his head through the fence and nuzzled Ali. Ali giggled and got two fist fulls of main and hugged him. I snapped a picture on my phone and sent it to Jaz. Ali let go and sat down in the grass as Shadow grazed around her feet. After a while she lost interest and darted off to the chickens. She giggled as they flocked over to her. I scooped her up and we went to check for eggs. We gathered ten eggs and took them to the house. Ali ran through the house squealing until she came to Pops' room. She peeked around the corner catching the guys attention. Pops opened his arms to her and she ran to the bed trying to climb it. Edward helped her up and she curled into Pops' chest and fell asleep.

"She's missed you!" I said.

"I've missed her." he chuckled tucking the soft curls that had fallen over Ali's face behind her ear.

"Holler if you need any thing." I said.

"Hey, Bells. Why don't you go enjoy your day. Edward and I can hang out here!" Dad said.

"I think I just might do that! Thanks!" I said leaving the room. I knew just what to do. I was going to ride my new horse.

As I entered the barn Diesel nickered happily. I brushed him thoroughly and then saddled him up. He stood obediently while I put on his bridle and then followed me out of the barn. I decided to ride in the hay meadow since Diesel had yet to be introduced to Ace and Duce.

I swung into the saddle and started off with Shadow trotting alone beside us. I rode the fence line. I hadn't ridden here yet but I was fairly confident there were no holes and such since Jaz had the hay cut and baled. As I neared the road I could hear an animal wailing. I nudged Diesel into a trot. As I reached the fence there was a smashed box tossed onto the right of way that the yelping was coming from.

I dismounted and hopped the fence. The box looked like in had been ran over at least once. I carefully opened the box to reveal the a small Black, grey, and white speckled puppy. Its front legs were in the part on the box that had been hit. I took off my over shirt gently lifted the pup out of the box wrapping him in the shirt then cradled him to me. I carefully climbed over the fence and back onto Diesel. I turned him toward the house and walked him smoothly back home. While I rode I gently looked over the puppy. Its left front leg I was sure was broken, it was covered in fleas, and looked to be starving to death. As soon as I got home I would head to the vet office. I called Dad and explained the situation. He said he would take care of Diesel for me while I took care of the puppy.

As I rode up, dad was there as promised. He took the pup an I hopped down from Diesel's back.

"I'll hold him so you can go grab another shirt. That tank top is kinda... Well, tiny." dad said.

"Dad, I planned to change." I said as I sprinted upstairs and threw on a t-shirt.

I came back down and Edward had the puppy in a box already in the car.

"Poor guy! I put him in the box so he wouldn't have to be wallered around as much." Edward explained.

"Good idea. Thanks!" I said as I slipped into the car.

At the vet office they unwrapped the puppy and examined it. I told the vet it's story. The vet asked if I wanted to keep the pup or put her down which I of coarse said I wanted her. After sedating her his gave her a thorough examination, an IV, and several shots then the vet was ready to talk to me.

"Well, you were right! Her front leg is broken she appears to have a cracked or bruised ribs. She is malnourished and dehydrated. I would like to keep her on an IV for a day or so." the vet said.

I paid the vet, left my number and promised to check in on her this evening and then left. I decided to stop and see Jaz while I was out. It was about lunch time so I hoped that he could sneak out for as early lunch.

As I walked in the secretary smiled sweetly, "You must be Bella. I feel like I have known you for ever. Jasper talks about you constantly. He's in his office, right there of the left. Go on in. I'm sure he could use a break."

"Thank you." I said opening his door. He grinned when he saw me.

"How did you escape?" he said pulling me in to him and placing feathery kisses on my neck.

"Dad and Edward and hanging out with Pops and Ali. So I had an opportunity to go enjoy myself. I took Diesel for a ride in the hay meadow and found a puppy in the road so I brought him to the vet. I hope you don't mind but we have a dog now." I said.

"Wow. Sounds like you had a hectic morning." he said, "I thought Dr. Call was going to wait til this evening to release Pops."

"Hello, have you met Pops?" I giggled, "Dr. Call hadn't even gotten Good Morning out before Pops was asking to go home. Dr. Call let him go. Dad and Edward helped get him settled in."

He chuckled, "Sounds like Pops!"

"Can you do an early lunch?" I asked hopefully.

"I bet I could handle that!" he said smiling that sexy smile he knows makes me weak in the knees as he walked me to Anthony's office. "Do you mind if I sneak out for lunch with my beautiful wife?"

"Not at all. You gotta grab time together when you can." he replied. I was so glad he understood our situation and was supportive.

"Thanks! I'll see ya in about an hour." Jaz told him and then we hopped into his truck. We grabbed a quick burger and then drove up to the bluffs and thankfully it was deserted. We ate our burgers and watched the rope swaying in the wind. Jaz started to kiss up my neck and before we knew it we had lost our close and I was straddling his lap riding out the most intense orgasm I have had in quite a while. I melted against him after we were through thoroughly spent. We only moved when we heard a car in the distance driving up. We quickly redressed and Jaz rolled down the steamy windows and we were finishing our burgers when a car pulled up. It was Emmett and Rosalie.

"Hey guys, are we interrupting something?" Emmett asked wiggling his eyebrows.

"Nope! We are just finishing our lunch and then I have to go back to work." Jaz said calmly.

"So Bella always wears her shirt inside out? I know what you two were up to!" he smirked wiggling his eye brows.

"Fine. We just finished. Now we are eating lunch." I shrugged.

"I didn't think you two would be back here so soon." Jaz said.

"It was a spur of the moment thing. I got transferred here to this bank and Emmett is ready to start his own construction company. He has a crew and is meeting with a guy who wants to renovate those crappy apartments on the edge of town. That is a years worth of work right there and then he also owns the old skating rink. He says he is thinking about reopening that too. There is alot of work to be done here." Rose chirped.

"You guys are moving back?" I asked excitedly.

"Yep! We were sorta hoping we could stay with you a couple of days while we are house hunting." Emmett said sheepishly, "But you have a full house. I think we'll just check into the motel 6."

"Oh no you won't!" Jaz said.

"We still have the guest room." I said, "Why don't we meet back at the house in twenty minutes."

"Ok. We will see ya there." Emmett said as they drove off.

"You know! I can't remember the last time it was just you and me, alone, without interruptions." Jaz groaned, "We have company more then any ten people I know."

"I know. But think of it this way, when Em and Rose find a house we will have a sitter for Ali and Esme seems to like Rose. we can check into Motel 6 for an evening." I giggled.

"Careful Darlin' I just might steal you away and never give you back!" Jaz growled playfully as he nipped my neck.

"That sounds like heaven!" I sighed thinking of time alone with Jaz without responsibilities. The freedom to be just Bella and Jaz. I loved our little family and I don't regret taking in Ali and Esme at all. It's just that I haven't had time to spend with Jaz.

"We will get away sometime soon." Jaz whispered before starting the truck and we headed back to town. I kissed him good-bye when we got back to his office and hopped in my car and headed home. Rose and Emmett were on the porch waiting on me. Dad was visiting with them. I walked up and dad asked about the pup. I relayed all the vet had told me then told Em and Rose about this morning. Em wanted to see Diesel so I took them down to see him. After we met the horses I led them inside and started lunch. Ali latched on to Em and they went outside. Rose chattered to me while I worked. Edward came in to get Pops some water and his pain pill and Rose stopped.

She glared at him, strode over and got in his face then shouted angrily, "Can't you just leave them alone?"

"I... Never mind," He sighed bewildered turning away from Rose.

"Rose, he is helping and does so frequently! I know you still have issues with him but you need to get past it or at the very least be civil in this house. His mother, sister, and brother live here so he is here alot. Things can get awkward sometimes but we are all working to leave the past buried." I said a bit harshly.

"I think, I will go home now. See ya later Bells." Edward said practically running to deliver the water to Pops.

I glared at Rose, "You know, he is working hard to earn our trust back. Jaz and I are trying to build a friendship back with him."

"It's just that easy for you?" She trilled.

"Hey Bella, Pops wants you." Edward said softly, "Also, I was going to see if I could take mom to the Botanical gardens for the weekend if you and Jaz don't mind."

"No that's fine. She always loved it there." I said, "See ya later. Oh and Edward?" pausing to see him turn, "Thanks for helping out today."

"Your welcome. Hey hows the pup?" he asked.

"She's in pretty bad shape but the vet thinks she'll make it." I said.

"It's a girl? What are you going to do with her? If you don't want her I will take her." he said.

"Honestly, I don't know I haven't discussed it with Jaz yet." I said.

"Yeah, you didn't look to be discussing anything with him earlier except harder and faster." Rose quipped smirking and the pained look that crossed Edward's face.

"Enough Rose!" I roared.

"Sorry." She said seeing the fierce look on my face.

"I'm not the one you need to apologize to." I growled.

"Edward, I'm..." she started in a condescending tone.

"Don't bother, Rose, You don't mean it! Bells, I'll see you and Jaz later." He said as he swept out the door.

I turned and left Rose in the kitchen to go see Pops, "Hey, how are ya feeling?" I asked him.

"Fine, who's in the kitchen screaming?" he asked.

"That would be me." Rose said meekly from the doorway.

"You know there walls are thin, right? That was cruel! What you said to him. He really is trying to make up for what he has done." Pops said to her.

"I know. But after what he has done..." she stopped seeing the look on my face.

"Rose, I know you don't trust him. Jaz and I are trying to learn to trust him again. I'm not saying we trust him completely yet but we are building towards that. He is just as welcome here as you and Emmett are. I won't say this to you again so listen carefully. You will be kind and polite to everyone in my home. I will not have a bad influence around Esme and Ali. You are welcome to stay here but those are the house rules! Do I make my self clear?" I said.

"Crystal Clear." she growled through clenched teeth. Storming out the door.

"Do you think she will stay?" Pops asked.

"I don't know." I said.

We heard a commotion outside then a car speeding away and Edward brought Ali in. "Rose said to tell you she would be back as soon as I left with Esme. I told Emmett around six. I want to give Jaz sometime with her before we go." Edward said.

"Edward, I'm sorry about her." I told him.

"You don't need to apologize. I heard what you said. Emmett talked to me a little. He isn't as angry with me as Rose is. I guess they are moving back here from what Emmett said." he said.

"Yeah, they are house hunting." I said.

"Yay! The potential to Run into Rose. Crap! Is she going to work at the bank?" he asked.

I nodded.

"I wonder if she will scream at me every week when I deposit my check?" He said, "I guess night deposit it is from now on. I gotta go. Do you mind if I take Ali to the park for awhile? I will bring her back when I come to get Mom. Crap, Esme. It's still hard not to call her mom." he smiled sadly.

"I imagine and yes you can take Ali for awhile." I said.

"Only one more week to call you my sister kiddo this time next week you will be my niece." He said to her as he grabbed her bag and headed out the door.

Pops and I visited until his medicine kicked in and he fell asleep then I called Jaz and told him everything. I was overwhelmed with the days events. I couldn't believe I had told Rose off like that.

Jaz chuckled and said, "It sounds to me like you could use a weekend away. Since Edward has Esme I will call your dad and Rose to see if he would watch after Ali this weekend. There's a little cabin that I have been dying to take you to. You pack and I will handle everything else." he said, "I love you Darlin'. See ya at five."

"I love you too, Jaz." I said as we hung up.

I packed Esme a bag for the weekend and I packed Jaz and I a bag for the weekend. I then prepared meals for this weekend so dad wouldn't have to cook. I made a pan of lasagna, a meatloaf, a pan of chicken enchiladas, three homemade pizzas, and two-dozen pancakes. All anyone had to do was either throw the food in the microwave or the oven. There was plenty of sandwich stuff and fresh fruit and veggies in the fridge.

I had just got everything ready when Dr Black pulled up. I met them on the porch. Jake smiled as Esme bubbled about her new school she would be starting. Jaz or I were going to drop her off and I was going to pick her up. I was pleased that she liked the idea of school. Esme squealed in excitement when I told her that Edward was taking her to the Botanical Gardens. We sat on the porch swing as she told me all about her day. I was thrilled for her. She was happier then I had ever seen her.

When Jaz got home he took Esme riding. I fixed sandwiches for supper and we ate outside at the picnic table so we wouldn't wake Pops. Dad came to eat with us and after supper I showed him all the food I had done for them. He informed me that he took off all weekend and planned to hang out with Pops.

I hugged him, "Thank you Dad."

"Bells, it's good for you and Jaz to get away and spend time together. I'm sorry I didn't offer to let you kids get away from it all. From now on once a month I will watch things here and you kids can take off. You guys are so young and you have been dealt a pretty heavy hand to deal with." He said.

"I don't regret taking them all in!" I said.

"I know you don't! I'm just saying that you two are so busy taking care of everyone else you two forget about yourselves." He said.

"He's here! Edward is here!" Esme sang bounding down the stairs.

I chuckled and took Ali who lunged at Dad. I passed her to him and he took off to go to pet Shadow. Edward whisked Esme away and Jaz was putting the bags in the car. I checked in on Pops who was just waking up. I told him what was going on and gave him his supper then When Dad came back to the house Jaz and I were off. We stopped at the vet office and checked on the puppy and told him would come and get her Monday and then we headed for the cabin Jaz had found. On the way there we talked about the puppy's future. We decided that since Edward didn't have kids and did have a fenced yard that she would be safer at his house then ours. Plus with everything that was going on I really didn't have time for a puppy. We talked about Rose and her behavior in our home. Jaz told me that they were staying at Dad's this weekend and that he had told Rose that the house rule I laid out were going to be enforced. I was so glad he backed me up. Once we reached the cabin Jaz said all talk about home, work, or School were off limits and we could only talk about us.

We walked into a small one-bedroom cabin. Jaz and I wondered into the bedroom and he tossed me on to the bed. Before I knew it we were both disrobed and he was exploring every inch of my body. I moaned as his tongue flicked my ear lobe as he trailed fiery wanton kisses down my neck and along my collar bone. As he sucked my right nipple into his mouth I gasped at the sensation. He rolled the other in his fingers and with his other hand he collected the moisture from between the delicate folds of skin then plunged his fingers deep inside. I moaned again and gripped the sheets. He didn't let up until I was screaming out his name in pure ecstasy. He then proceeded to kiss each hip before driving his tongue into my core then sucking at my sensitive flesh. There was orgasm number two. I pulled him to me I needed him. I sighed as I felt the head of his cock teasing my I needed him desperately. Without giving him warning I wrapped my legs around him and slammed myself into him eliciting a sensual growl from him. He kissed me as we started our frenzied thrusts. I needed him to be rough with me. We would make love slowly later but for now I wanted him to pound me hard. He understood and we had the roughest sex we have ever had. It was amazing. He groaned in pleasure as we both finished. we held each other the rest of the evening. we just needed to feel that closeness tonight. I was awakened be Jaz ghosting his fingers up and down my back.

"Good Mornin' Darlin'." Jaz drawled.

"Morning." I said.

"What do you want to do today?" he asked.

"What is there to do?" I asked.

"We could go rafting." he said hopefully.

"That sounds fun." I agreed.

"Go get dressed and I will make arrangements!" He crowed excitedly. When we were kids that was Jaz's favorite thing to do. That was his and Dad's big thing and I was always along for the ride. Jaz loved white water rafting but today would be just a mild little floating trip.

Once we had rented the raft and were floating in the water I sat back and watched my husband. Jaz was so much fun to watch when he was on the water. He loved it and I loved the way his whole face lite up. He paddled for a while occasionally splashing me. I was content just to float and enjoy the sunshine. Thankfully Jaz remembered the 110 SPF sunscreen. We lounged on the raft letting the current carry us alone. Jaz stretched out beside me. I loved that we could just hang out together and never feel the need to say anything. We paddled to a beach and swam for awhile then just lounged around being lazy. We lounged until it started to sprinkle and Jaz thought we needed to head back in. The wind had picked up and there were a few waves now instead of just ripples. Jaz cursed himself for not checking the weather before we went out. We were on the water ten minutes before the sky opened up and dumped buckets of water on us. the wind blew harder and there where a few not so mild waves. We were quickly approaching white water rafting if this wind and rain didn't let up.

"Get your life jacket on. It's getting rough out here" Jaz said, "We both need to paddle and get off the water."

I put my life vest on and we started to paddle. There were a few mild rapids that we had to maneuver through but all the white water rafting experience we both had made it a breeze. The storm let up just before we got to our dock. We were laughing and talking when we reached the guy who rented us the raft. He had been worried about us. He was impressed with Jaz's stories about white water rafting.

"Yeah dad never would go with us rafting! He once told us, 'The boat would tip over and I would get knocked out as I smashed my head on a rock and the current would suck me under and I my life jacket strap would get caught on a log at the bottom of the river. You all would find me just before I died but I would have so much brain damage from being under water too long without air that I would be a vegetable for the rest of my life. No thank you! I'm not going!' He was always a bit dramatic!" Jaz chuckled

**_(This was an actual speech that was delivered as a reason for being a weenie, chicken, ect... and not going white water rafting with the rest of the group.)_**

"Man, I guess.**" **the guy laughed.

When we left the river we realized that we had skipped breakfast and it was now four thirty. We stopped by the cabin and changed then went to the small resort restaurant, ordered our food to go, then raced back to the cabin. I loved being secluded with Jaz. We lounged around the rest of the day. That evening we watched a beautiful sunset . I loved being in his arms so carefree in this moment. Tomorrow morning we would be packing up and heading back home. I sighed dreaming thinking of how magical this place was.

Jaz said, "You're right this is kind of a magical place."

We made love slowly then snuggled under a blanket of stars. Jaz must have carried me to bed because I woke up in the nice soft bed wrapped securely in Jaz's arms. I peppered his chin with kisses and he smiled lazily at me. A simple smile from that man could send my heart soaring. We held each other a few more minutes before we showered, packed and headed home.

"This was the perfect get away." I said.

"It was, wasn't it? We should do this again!" he smiled.

"I love that cabin. We should come back and actually go white water rafting like we use to. I had forgotten how much fun that it was." I said.

_"_That would be great!" he grinned.

The rest of the ride home we visited. When we got home Ali was asleep and Esme was engrossed in the Saddle Club TV series while Dad and Pops played cards. Esme waved her hello never taking her eyes off the TV and Dad and Pops grunted their hellos. Jaz and I unpacked and started laundry. When Ali woke up Jaz asked if I would like to take Ali and Esme for a ride. Esme bounced off the couch and off we went to the barn. I helped Esme saddle Duce and she bounced into the saddle. Jaz had Ali settled infront of him on Ace. The trio rode around the lot while I saddled Diesel and led him out with Shadow trotting beside us. I swung into the saddle and we set off. I didn't realize how much taller Diesel was that Ace and Duce until I rode up between them. We rode the fence in the horses pasture then the hay meadow. Half way through the ride Ali started reaching fol me and said, "Mama!" We all stopped

"She just called you" Jaz started._  
><em>

"Come here baby girl!" I giggled taking her from Jaz.

I settled her on to the front of my new saddle and listened and she chattered away sprinkling a few mama's in and pointing to various things such as trees, clouds and cows. Esme rode between Jaz and I telling us about her weekend. Edward had rented 'Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken' and they watched it and ate popcorn then Dad had taken her riding. She giggled when she said Edward was a "scared-y cat" and was too afraid to ride with her. When we reached the house Dad and Pops were still locked into their poker game. Jaz chuckled as he took the girls upstairs.

They had conned him into playing in the sprinkler with them. Ok Esme had conned him into it insisting Ali wanted to play too. Jaz changed Ali and himself as Esme changed into her suit. I already had the sprinkler hooked up and running. I was amazed at our little family. I had kinda come to think of Esme as a daughter of sorts. I watched her as she danced through the sprinkler. She was so childlike it was easy to fall in to the role of mother for her. She was progressing in her mental age. Dr Black was pleased that she was now an adolescent. She sometimes acted as a preteen but there where other times like now that she seemed like a child still. I had read in the child development books that this was normal. I was just hoping to skip the moody teenager part._  
><em>

When Jaz came out he started playing with them in the water. I went and got then sot ice tea and Juice for came and sat on the porch and then Esme told Jaz all about her visit to her school she would start August 6th. I was happy she was excited but dreaded August. August would mean Jaz leaving for college and I would be here with Esme and Ali. I knew Pops would be up and able to help out a little but it wasn't the same. I excused myself to fix supper so I wouldn't fall apart. I don't know why I am getting so emotional. His leaving is 5 weeks away.

I had just put the enchiladas in the oven and started chopping he salad when I felt Jaz snake his arms around me waist.

"You ran off." he said nuzzling me shoulder.

"No, I came in to fix dinner." I said.

"You're dreading August." He said quietly kissing the back of my neck. I couldn't respond. He knew me so well. "I do too." he whispered.

I turned in his arms and he held me tight. I tried hard not to lose it but the tears still came. I looked up at him and he was looking miserable too. "I could come come home Mondays and Wednesdays. I don't have classes until noon on Tuesdays and Thursdays." he said.__  
><em>_

"Jaz that's a 2 hour drive one way. Your study time would be ate up by drive time." I sighed.

"We will see how it goes. To get everyone adjusted that's what I am going to do at least for the first week." he said. I hated that it was going to be such a hardship on him but I did feel alittle better and by the relieved smile on his face so did he.__  
><em>_

__"__I know it is ridiculous to waste gas like this but I really hate the thought of being away from my girls. I will leave Sunday night after we put the girls to bed then I will come back Monday night my last class end at 3 so I will go to the library and study til 5 and come home. I will be here to help with the girls and give you a break then I can get up and help get around and take Esme to school and go back. I will have an hour to study before class and then after class I have all evening. Wednesday I will do the same thing and go back Thursday. Friday I am headed home at 3 though." He said.

"Jaz, your going to be exhausted." I said, "That's to much running!"

"Bella, we all need to adjust to this. I can't go without seeing you guys all week. If it gets to be too much then I will cut down on my running back and forth. It will at least let us all adjust slowly. Maybe once things are settled then I will only come back once during the week but for now this won't make going back to school as bad.

"It does make it easier to think about." I said giving him a smile.

"It does. I was going crazy just thinking about how I was going to make it a week with out you guys." He said kissing the top of my head.

"Get a room!" Edward called playfully and he carried Ali wrapped in a towel into the kitchen following Esme who giggled at us, "Pops needs another pain pill." I nodded, "And I am going to get these two prune-y girls dressed."

"I am not a prune!" Esme glowered.

"Look at your fingers!" Edward chuckled.

"They are wrinkle-y not prune-y" she said poking her tongue out at him as she stalked upstairs.

Edward took Ali to dress her and Jaz took Pops his pain pills. I put supper on the table in the kitchen and I took Dad and Pops a plate. The rest of us ate in the kitchen. After dinner I sent Esme to collect Pops and Dad"s plates. Jaz told Edward about his decision to commute.

"That's actually a great idea. You two have been miserable just thinking about August. I think you will be able to live with this. You both seem happier." he said.

Dr. Black, Jaz and I decided it would be best to have Edward there when we told Esme about Jaz going to school. He agreed to be there and support us all. After I put Ali to bed we sat Esme down. Jaz told her about his school and what his schedule was going to be like.

""Wait, what?" Esme asked her eyes getting huge.

"Jasper is going to school too." I said softly.

"But, he won't be home every night!" she said tears filling her eyes.__  
><em>_

"I won't leave till Sunday night after you go to bed then I will come back Monday night. I will be here to take you to school. I will be back Wednesday night and then I will go back Thursday after I take you to school. Friday I will be back in time to take you and Ali riding before supper. Then we will have all of Saturday to spent together." Jaz said throwing the promise of a horseback ride in to try to soften the blow.

"Who's going to take me to school when you aren't here?" She asked.

"Bella will and she will pick you up except on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I will pick you you then and we will go hang out." Edward smiled.

"Who's going to stay with us when you aren't here?" she asked Jaz tears welling in her eyes.

"Sweetheart, Bella is going to be here. I will be a phone call away any time you need me." he answered her.

"Well, that's just great! You're leaving us!" She started to stomp up stairs and Jaz blocked her path opening his arms hoping to comfort her but she turned on a heel and stormed out to the porch swing. I followed her out and ask to join her. She scooted over so I sat down and pulled her shaking frame into a hug. She cried for a moment then looked up at me.

"Why is he leaving us?" she asked.

"He's not leaving us Esme. He is going to go to school. It's too far away for him to come home every night so he will stay there when he has to but he would rather be here with us."I soothed.____  
><em>___

"Will I have to stay the night at school sometimes?" she asked.

"No your school is close to home. You will come home and I will be here with you every night!" I said.

"You promise?" She said, "Everyone always leaves me." she was sobbing again. Her words reminded me of the night in the hospital when she told me the same thing.

"Esme, I promise I won't abandon you. Jaz is going to school but he isn't leaving. He will always come home to us! Who has left you?" I asked.

"The man from my dreams. His name is Aro and he is always yelling at me. In my dream I have a baby like you have Ali. I don't know the baby's name but I know he is mine and I have to protect him. Aro left us. Someone else left me in that hospital before you found me but I don't know his name. Just please don't don't leave me." She was shaking.____  
><em>___

"I will always be here with you Esme. I promise! I'm not going anywhere." I murmured over and over looking through the window at a stunned Edward and Jaz. Esme's dream must be a memory. Once she calmed down She went to bed with out so much as a good-night to Jaz which broke his heart. He went to her room and knocked on her door. she grudgingly let him in.

"Her dream was a memory, wasn't it?" Edward asked miserably, "My dad was mean to her."

"I don't know." I said.

After the girls where in bed Jaz, Edward, and I sat down to talk.

"She's so mad at me. I tried to explain my going to college bet she won't listen." Jaz said sadly.

"She is just going to have to see for herself that you will always come back." I said.

"Look at the men in her past. She will have to learn that she can trust you." Edward said.

"I shouldn't go!" Jaz said.

"You"re going!" Edward said, "Remember our talk when you told me you would probably try to talk yourself out of going and you telling me to talk some sense into you! Well Jaz, here goes. Mom will be fine! You are going to come home during the week. She loves you and is afraid of losing you. Once she sees that you always come home to her it will get easier. I am sure she will throw a major fit when you leave but you need to remember you are doing this to make a better life for her, Ali, and Bella. Charlie, Pops, and I will help out in anyway we can. You worry about getting the grades cause Bella has the home front under control." Edward told Jaz.

"Thank you!" Jaz and I both told him.

Dad emerged from Pops' room in time to hear Edward's pep talk, "I have to hand it to ya Edward. I really do think you are changing. I thought that the kids were nuts when I heard that they were going to give you a second chance. You meant ever word of that, didn't you?"

"Yes sir, I did! I love them. It's taking a while to view Bella as my sister-in-law but I am getting there. I am grateful that they are giving me a chance I know I don't deserve to be part of their family."

Dad sat down and we talked about how to make things easier for Esme.

Monday morning was interesting. We woke u to find Esme sleeping just outside our door. Jaz woke her and we all went into the kitchen for breakfast. She stayed near Jaz although she never said a word to him. She sat on our bed while Jaz picked our his clothes refusing to talk and sat outside the bathroom while he took a shower and dressed. Just before he left and he kissed me and Ali good-bye did she crumble.

"Please don't leave me! I love you! Please!" She wailed.

He took her to the couch and pulled he into a hug, "Esme, I am just going to work. I will be back this evening like I always am. When I go to school I will be coming home too. I will always come home to my family. You, Ali, and Bella are my world, you three are the reason I get up in the morning. I love you three so much! There is no way I could ever survive with out you three." he said lifting her chin so he could see her tear soaked face. He gently brushed the tears away and kissed her cheek.

"I love you too." she sniffled.

"How about you girls come have lunch with me at the dinner?" he said looking to me.

I smiled as I saw a hint of a smile play on Esme's face, "Ok."

"Alright! I have to go to work but I will see you at noon." He said kissing her cheek once more before leaving.

I took the girls outside and feed the chickens and the horses then they migrated to the swing set. I called to check on the puppy. The vet said she was ready to go. So I told him that we would be there to get her today. I then called Edward to make sure he still wanted her and let him know that she was ready. He told me he would go pick her up. I watched the girls as they played. Ali perched in the baby swing and Esme pushing her gently.

When Dr. Jacob Black arrived I told him in great detail about Esme's reaction to the news of Jaz going back to school and what his schedule was. He basically reiterated what Edward had said about her needing to learn to trust. I told him about the dreams about Aro and that we thought it maybe memories. Jacob asked if I thought Edward would mind visiting with him. I called Edward and he was there in less then ten minutes. I sent them into the house to talk. I sat and enjoyed watching the girls.

Twenty minutes later Jacob took Esme into the house to visit. Edward said he would be at the hospital around one in case Esme had to have surgery. Dr Call was really concerned about her kidney function. He said if it wasn't better this time she would have to go on dialysis treatments. He wasn't very optimistic though he already had her scheduled after her appointment to insert a dialysis fistula. I was dreading this visit as much as Esme was.

I pushed Ali in the swing until around eleven then took her to get cleaned up. When Jacob left so did we to go eat with Jaz. Lunch went well although it ended too soon. Then I dropped Ali off at home with Dad and Pops and headed to the hospital for Esme's blood test.

She was still so child-like and they had to strap her down. I was bracing myself for the nightmare that was waiting. I had given Esme her Valium to help settle her nerves before lunch as we always did. Dr. Call met us at the car and I could see her beginning to get agitated. I knew that as soon as he opened the door she would start crying.

As Dr. Call opened the door Esme turned to me and started begging me to get her out of here. We walked her on to the building one of us on either side hoping she wouldn't bolt this time. Once we were in a patient room we sat her on the bed. The nurse came in and Dr Call ask if Esme thought we could try with out the restraints. She nodded but as soon as they were ready she screamed and kicked as he approached her. So next came the medical staff that always held her in place while they strapped her to the backboard and I was kicked out into the hall.

Edward and I stood shoulder to shoulder with tears with streaming down our faces. She screamed for her mommy to help her and for me to help her. It broke my heart to see her go through this. Once they had her strapped down they let me back in to comfort her while they drew her blood and Edward not being able to stand it any longer retreated to the radiology department. Esme strained against the straps and let out a blood curdling scream as the needle bit into her vein. They left her strapped down explaining that it would be easier on her it the long run if they had to do the fistula.

I tried to sooth her as she struggled against her restraints. I called Edward back in and between the two of us we at least got her to stop struggling. She still whimpered every once in a while. Dr. Call came in with a grim look and motioned for me. I stepped to the door while Edward stayed and talked to her.

"We are going to have to put her on dialysis at least once a week for now. That may not be enough but we will try. Dr. Call said.

"As bad as she hates needles can we put her completely under to get her ready for her treatments? It's all I can do to hold it together twice a month with a 10 minute blood draw. If we can figure out something that would be great." I said.

"We could give her an oral solution and put her under then wrap her dialysis sight. I am going to put her in a private room each time since she is a special case. We are going to do her blood tests then too. What day works best for you? You are going to be here 4 hours." he smiled sympathetically.

"She is starting an Occupational Therapy School in August so afternoons would be easier, I can pick her up early on that day. Esme usually reads and watches her Saddle Club show and Ali takes her nap then too. I could put Ali down for her nap and leave her with Pops. Tuesday or Thursday would probably be best. Jaz will be at school so she won't miss any time with him if it takes longer then expected." I said hoping Edward wouldn't be disappointed with losing an afternoon.

"Why don't we do it on Thursdays at noon, starting this Thursday. When we check her levels then we can see if once a week is going to be enough. If we have to go to twice a week we will have to go to Mondays and Thursdays." he said.

"That will be fine. Jaz can come straight to the hospital if need be." I said.

He unstrapped Esme and lead us to a room. I took her in the bathroom and helped her into a hospital gown while Edward called Jaz and dad. It would be an all day thing today. She would go to surgery and then come back on dialysis.

With Edward's help I got Esme talked into laying down but she refused to drink the medicine that would make her sleepy. She was waiting for Jaz. Jaz finally talked her into drinking it and 15 minutes later she was asleep. They started her IV and then took her down to surgery. We waited in Esme's room for her. I ran home and packed her an activity bag and new clothes to come home in. I stopped in to see Pops and he was up and in his chair.

"Pops, Your suppose to be in bed." I said exasperated.

"I called and cleared it with Doc. He said as long as it didn't hurt I would be ok, Kiddo." He defended.____  
><em>___

"He just knows you well enough to know you won't follow his orders anyhow!" I chuckled.

"Yeah! Probably! Hows Esme?" he asked.

"Still in surgery. They are going to put her on dialysis. We may not be home tonight." I told him.

I got back to the hospital just as they were bringing Esme back. She was groggy and latched onto Jaz. He sat on the edge of the bed smoothing her hair. She had a death-grip on his shirt and was agitated. We waited for her to fully was up . When she did she howled at the sight of the IV tubing and the Dialysis tubing coming from her. Edward held her hands and explained to her what they were and why they were there. She cried when he wouldn't let her pull them out. Dr. Call came in to wrap them. She was very grouchy and threw a huge fit. So Edward ended up wrapping them up. She insisted on Jaz staying with her tonight. She was so clingy with him since she knew he was going back to school. I headed home to relieve dad.

Pop's and I had a quiet dinner with Ali. Once Ali was asleep we watched an old John Wayne movie and then Pops went to bed. I cleaned the house from top to bottom and did laundry then sat down with my wall calender that kept track of my days and looked over my weekly schedule and made s few changes then really looked at it.  
>I was do busy. The rest of this week was Tuesday-Friday 10am -11 am Dr Black, Thursday Esme to dialysis from 12pm - 4 pm.<p>

I finally went to bed and tossed and turned. I lay there for hours before I finally fell asleep. The alarm woke me up way to soon. I rolled out of bed and went to fix the coffee. It was already made and a cup was sitting out for me. I poured a cup and trudged out to the porch where Pops was sitting in the rocking chair with his foot propped on the end table.

"You could have slept in you know!" he said.

"That's a bad habit to get into!" I chuckled. Sitting on the swing.

"I want to watch Ali today for you. If you will bring her down stairs for me I can handle every thing else! You go to the hospital and be with Jaz and Esme." He said.

"Thank you Pops! I think I will." I said grateful to him.

"I'm happy to help! Now get going!" He chuckled.

I took my coffee upstairs with me and got dressed and then carefully carried Ali to the couch. Pops was already sitting on the other end reading his paper. I said a quiet good-bye and headed to the hospital.

When I arrived Esme was still asleep. Jaz said it had been rough. After the dialysis was complete they tried to take the IV line out of it and Esme completely lost it and had to be restrained. Poor Jaz's voice shook as he recounted the awful events. He said that she had leg cramps all night so they started her on a potassium supplement. He looked exhausted. I sat next to him and he leaned his head over on my shoulder. I felt his breathing become deeper and fall into a rhythm and so I just leaned back to watch them sleep. At around 930 am Dr Call came in. He walked over and carefully cut the wrap over the IV and quickly removed the tape and the IV then put the band-aid in place. Esme awoke with a start but didn't realize what had happened.

"You all are ready to go." He said.

"Thank you!" I told him.

He gave us our discharge instructions and off we went. We went straight home and Esme went to lay down. Dr. Black visited with her in her room today. Jaz got ready and went in to work. I fixed lunch and then put Ali down for a nap. Dr Black took an unusually long time with Esme. When he came down he wanted to talk to me.

"She was worse then usual this time." he began.

"They put in a dialysis fistula yesterday and she had dialysis. I didn't get a chance to talk to you before you talked to her. She will start having dialysis on Thursdays at noon." I said.____  
><em>___

"Are they going to move her blood tests to then too?"

"Yes. Dr Call will be giving her medicine to make her sleep through them putting the IV line into the fistula and then they will wrap it so she won't be as apt to mess with it." I told him then I relayed the events that Jaz had told me. Dr. Black asked if he could be there with us Thursday to try to help Esme stay calm and teach the medical staff how to deal with her. I loved that idea. He decided to move his sessions on Thursdays to 12pm- 1pm.

Esme slept most of the time Ali was napping. She came down stairs and laid on the couch and watched one on her Saddle Club show. She still looked so tried. The stress of the hospital always took its toll but this time it was worse. The rest of the day and all of Wednesday was fairly quiet. It was now Thursday at 11:30 am. Esme is grumpy because she has to go to the hospital to see Dr Black instead of seeing him here and Edward is here to pick up Ali. She is currently pouting in her room because she didn't get to go with Edward. He peeled Ali off of me as she thew a fit and walked to the car. She quieted down before they even got to the front door. That was her latest phase. She would do that with everyone but me and Pops. Pops chuckled every time she did it. Jaz, Edward and Dad failed to see the humor in it.

With Ali gone I called Esme down stairs. She was beginning to get sassy and although she was my mother-in-law in reality she was also my daughter in her mind. I was sick on her fits. I decided it was time we had a little heart to heart. She stalked down the stairs and out the door slamming the screen door behind her. I grabbed her activities bag and my purse and headed out the door. As I got into the car I received a scowl.____  
><em>___

"Esme, I know you are angry about not getting to go with Edward. I know that you don't want to go to the hospital to have your dialysis. I get that you are angry! I know its not fair but we just have to do it. You have a right to be angry but you DO NOT have the right to take your anger out on anyone." I told her.

"I hate the hospital!" she grumbled.

"I know you do. I hate it too. This is something we have to do to keep you healthy though and I promise I will be here with you." I said softly. She nodded and just stared straight ahead. When I got to the hospital Dr Black was waiting. He came to the car and coaxed Esme out. I was surprised this was the first time that she seemed a little less apt to try to run. He walked her to the room that we would spend the afternoon in and helped her to lie down and get comfortable. I took a seat as Dr Black talked Esme into drinking the concoction that would make her sleep. She grudgingly drank it and Dr Black started talking to her in a soothing monotone voice. She was out in less then 5 minutes. As soon as Dr Black said that "OK" two nurses and Dr Call rushed in. The Dialysis line was placed and the blood was drawn. The nurses were gone in a blur and Dr Call and Dr Black had stepped into the hall. I was pissed. Why couldn't they have done this when they were drawing would have been no screaming for me to help her, no need for restraints or her being held down. It would have been calm almost easy. I sighed wishing I had known to have requested this. She would wake up in about fifteen minutes. She would probably fuss over the lines but then leave them alone knowing that they would just have to put them back in. I turned on the TV and hoped that that would catch her attention before the medical tubing did. Dr. Black came in and took a seat on the other side of her bed.

"You look angry." he stated.

"I am. This whole time things could have been this easy. I didn't know to ask them to knock her out while they drew blood. She would kick, scream and fight. They would have to stick her multiple times because she fought them. There were times she would have bruises from fighting the restraints. All this time this," I waved my hand over her," is all they would have had to do. This is so much less traumatic for her." I ranted softly.

"I told Dr. Call that same thing, just now." he said meeting my eyes.

Esme sat up with a start looking wildly around the room. I moved to sit on her bed, "When are they coming?" she asked her voice trembling.

"Esme, they are done. All you need to do is relax and let the machine filter your blood." Dr Black said.

"Filter?" She said her eyes wide in terror, "Am I going to die?"

"Esme, the machine is going to wash your blood! It will take all the bad stuff out that your liver and kidneys don't get then you will feel better." I told her.

She calmed down a little after that. Dr. Black talked to her for a while and then told us he would be back a little before 4pm. Esme was engrossed in her TV show so I pulled out my lap top and started working on my adoption book titled "You Grew in My Heart" I wanted this to be for older children. I was targeting kids ages of ten and older.  
>I started by introducing myself to my future reader. I told them about Jaz and Ali. I didn't go into detail about Ali's parents just that they couldn't take care of her. I talked about how most children grow in their mother's tummy but how that when a child is adopted that they grow in their mother's heart and how that they are extra special because they where chosen to be a member of their family. I worked on the book long after Esme's show because she fallen asleep. At 4pm the nurse came in and distracted Esme while she took out the IV. Dr Call said that once a week dialysis would be fine. Esme seemed tired when we left the hospital and curled up on the couch to nap supper Jaz got home he played with Ali until supper time. I woke Esme for supper and we ate a family dinner. Esme didn't really eat much and asked to go to bed right after supper. Of course we let her go. Jaz went to check on her after we finished supper and said she was asleep in her sweats she had been wearing. I cleaned up supper while Jaz gave Ali a bath and put her to Jaz and I joined Pops on the couch watching a marathon of our favorite series on the AMC channel.<p>

Jaz and I stayed up way to late but we couldn't sleep out of our excitement about tomorrow. Tomorrow was the 13th. We were going to be in Judge Emily Uley's chambers discussing Ali's future. It was to be a family event. Jaz, Esme, Ali and I were all going to talk to her together with Jenks. She was the judge who had married us. She was very familiar with out case.

The next morning Jaz and I were up and around in time to watch the sun rise. We woke the girls at the usual time thankful that Esme was her lively self. After a family breakfast we all headed for the courthouse. Jaz and I were honest with Judge Uley about our feelings for each other and why we weren't telling anyone we were married. She knew our circumstances and said she admired our strength and dedication. She talked to Esme and told us she had also talked with Dr Call and Dr Black. She sighed off on Ali's adoption and now Ali is officially our daughter. On the way home Esme ask if she could be our daughter too. Jaz and I told her she could and she started calling us mom and dad. This was going to feel weird for a while. Dad, Pops and Edward were waiting for us today was about celebrating our family. Rose and Emmett, who were still staying with dad, even came although Rose was still angry at least she was civil to everyone. We had a BBQ and visited. it was almost dark by the time everyone left.


	10. Chapter 10

**I am so sorry this took so long to get to you! There was never a good stopping spot so 35 pages later I finally did find one! I don't own Twilight but it is sure fun to play with!  
><strong>

**Rose POV (this begins the morning of the 13th.)**

Em and I are sitting on the porch of a house waiting on the realtor to show us around. It is just across the field from theirs.

"Last week I was excited about living here. I felt I was coming home. I was thrilled to be near Bella and Jaz again. Now I just... I don't know." I huffed.

"DO you regret the transfer? We could always go back to..." Emmett started quietly.

"NO. We're here. I like my job here. I want to stay." I said. I knew he was excited to be back. I missed his family terribly but if he thought I wasn't happy he would move away again. It bothered him that I was angry with Bella. I am still not really clear on why I am so pissed at her. Is it because she is too forgiving of Edward? Is it because of what she said to me the last time we talked? I heard Edward tell Em it was pregnancy hormones but I'll be damned if I will let him be right. (Sigh) Ok, the truth is Edward was right and now I just had to apologize to Bella.

The realtor pulled up. She was a petite little Strawberry blond woman. she power walked over up to the house with keys in hand. Em and I stood and greeted her.

"I am so sorry I am late. I am Tanya Denali." She smiled unlocking the door.

"I'm Rose and this is my husband Emmett." I said.

She led us through the house and it was perfect for us. It was a 2-bedroom, 2-bathroom home with a large basement. The bedrooms where fairly large but the bathroom upstairs was tiny, the kitchen was huge although it was outdated, the living room was nice sized however I felt like I had stepped into a time warp with it's orange shag carpet and faded yellow walls, the dining room was a little bigger then a closet and left me feeling a little claustrophobic, the ad boasted about a full sized basement and was an unfinished bare cinder block room the size of the entire house that was empty except for the other bathroom. There was also a washer and dryer hook up down there. To say I as disappointed would have been an understatement. Emmett thanked Mrs. Denali and we left. Almost as soon as we were in the car my phone rang and I froze. It was Bella. Emmett answered it. I zoned out while he talked.

"Ok. Maybe we shouldn't live so close to Bells and Jaz." Emmett suggested pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Em, I'm not mad at her. It stung when she called me on my bullshit. I hope she will forgive me." I told him.

"I think you are already forgiven. Bells just called you to invite us to a party. Ali's adoption is now final. Ali is now Bella and Jaz's daughter. She said to come on over." he said

I nodded. I was still a little uncomfortable about being there after the way I left things with Bella and then I really didn't want to be around Edward. Emmett told me about what he did when we were kids and then everything he pulled with Bella. I just can't see him changing. I was so lost in thought I didn't realize that we had reached their house until Emmett opened my door. I got out and walked up to the porch just as Edward was carrying two huge watermelons out to the picnic table. I held the door opened and even smiled politely in response to his thank you. Emmett took the other watermelon and followed him. I walked into the kitchen to find Harry laying out food and Charlie headed out with a big bowl of baked beans. I sent Harry to go sit down and took over laying out food and frying the chicken.

Once everything was done I wandered out to the porch swing and watched the guys horsing around. I wish I could forgive the past like the others. I think it was because Edward had me so fooled. I had genuinely liked him. I had considered him a good friend until I found out what he was capable of. It hurt that I was fooled so easily. I wish I could just erase it all and have my friend Edward back.

When Bella and Jaz got home we had lunch and they all hung out and I played with Ali and Esme. I wanted to visit and have fun with everyone but I just couldn't. So here I was playing with the girls. I kept an eye on the group and wished I could just go be part of it. Jaz caught me watching them and made his way over.

"Can I talk to you?" he asked.

"Yeah!" I said. We walked into the house. He sat down on the couch and patted the cushion beside him. I sat suddenly feeling very nervous.

"What's really going on here? Bella told me that you were trying to hurt Edward the other day. She said she was a little harsh with you and for that she feels bad. This isn't you! Rosie, why are you so angry? You are angrier then Bella was with him." he asks softly.

"I just... I don't know. He was my friend. I never thought he was capable of..." I sighed and broke off.

"You do know that he didn't mean to hit Bella, right? He was going to hit me. It was a fight between brothers," he said.

"How do you and Bella forgive him so easily?" I said.

"It isn't easy. It took time. I know he messed up bad but I got to thinking. What if that first punch he threw had of hit me? I would have been just as angry as he was. There's no doubt in my mind that I would have swung back. What if Bella would have stepped in the way? What if I had been the one to accidentally hit her? Would everyone have been as angry with me? Or what if he had just hit me? I know I wouldn't have pressed charges and I am sure no one would have been as pissed at him." he said.

"But you wouldn't do that. Everyone knows you love her." I said.

"He loved her. He didn't hurt her on purpose. It was a terrible accident. He paid an awful the price for it. I think you need to talk to him. He hates that you hate him. He understands but it still bothers him." he said.

"I don't hate him. If I could just forget the past I would. He used to be my friend when we were younger. I genuinely cared about him. I miss my friend. When he was married to Bella we hung out alot. I have told him things about me that even Emmett doesn't know." I said willing the tears in my eyes not to fall.

"He's right outside, Rosie. He made a mistake but he's still Edward. Do you want me to send him in? You two could talk. I know he misses his friend too." he said.

"I wouldn't know where to begin. I am pissed at him. I don't hate him but I'm just so pissed. I just... I don't know. What would I even say?" I ranted.

"Tell him that, talk to him. You might feel better." he said wiping a tear off my cheek.

"Not yet!" I said, "I'm going to go wash my face and then I will be out.

I watched as Jaz walked to the door and saw Edward carrying a sleeping Ali inside. I washed my face and then made my way to Ali's room. He had just laid her down and turned to see me. I stepped back into the hall and then followed him down the stairs.

He paused to look at me then hung his head, "I'm sorry. I let you down, Rosalie."

At that moment it clicked with his words, tears flooded my eyes and I couldn't speak. I walked over to the couch and sank into it. I couldn't hold back the sobs that erupted.

"Rosalie?" Edward asked.

"I...I -m...just...so..." the words faded into sobs.

"I am sorry. I just... Please don't cry. I will do what ever you want me too. Rosalie, please." he pleaded as he sat down beside me.

I leaned into him and continued to sob until I couldn't cry anymore. He wrapped his arms around me and held me while I fell apart. After my sobs subsided I was exhausted I looked up at Edward to see his face was tear streaked too. He gave me a sad smile.

"I don't hate you. I am pissed off and hurt. I miss you. I wish I could just forget what you did but I can't. I'm trying though. I don't hate you though. It's important that you know that." I sniffled.

"Thank you! What can I do to make it up to you?" he whispered hoarsely.

"I don't know." I said, "I guess give me some time."

"I can do that," he said. I got up and went to the bathroom again. My face was red and splotchy and my eyes were swollen. I pressed a cold rag over my eyes until the swelling went down and then borrowed Bella's makeup. When I came out of the bathroom Em was standing there.

"Edward told me," he said.

"I think we should go. I'm so tired." I said.

"Edward said you might not be feeling well so everyone except Jaz, Edward and I thinks you are sick." he said. I leaned heavily on him as we left.

"Edward told me that you talked to him." Em said.

"Yeah. I told him I was pissed and needed time." I said.

"He said you didn't hate him." he said.

"I told him that to." I said.

"I'm glad! He really is trying to make amends." he smiled.  
>Then as we drove past the house we looked at said, "There's our house."<p>

"You're not serious, are you!" I screeched.

"Well, I was. It needs alot of work I'll admit but I could finish out the basement and make a master suit with it's own bathroom and walk in closets. There's potential for a laundry room down there too. I was thinking of doing away with the dining room and making the kitchen an eat-in kitchen and bathroom bigger. The living room has hard wood floors under that hideous carpet and I plan to paint the walls throughout the house. I also want you to design your updated kitchen." he grinned.

"Okay!" I said smiling at his enthusiasm. He drove straight to the real-estate office. We signed alot of paperwork and dealt with a loan officer from the bank that I work at. Two hours later we had keys. Em dropped me off at Charlie's because I was exhausted and then headed out again.

**Jaz POV**

About three hours after Em and Rose left as the party was winding down Em pulled back up.

"Howdy neighbor! We just bought the old Stattler place." He said as he hopped out of his car.

"Wow! That's great!" Bella said engulfing Em in a hug, "Where is Rose? She's still mad, isn't she?"

"No. She's just tired. She spoke with Edward this afternoon and it took a lot out of her. She misses her buddy. She's working on forgiving him it's just going to take some time." Em said.

"That's why. I could have swore I saw a tear when Edward said he had to go check on Maisey." Bella said.

"Maisey?" Em asked.

"His pup. She is recovering from being ran-over and starved." I said. He nodded probably remembering Bella's story of the poor pup.

"I have got to get all this cleaned up and Esme in the shower. Ali is passed out on dad. I'll see you later." Bells said excusing herself.

"The Stattler place needed alot of work when they moved. Do you need help?" I asked.

"I could use some help. I need on pull up the carpet and paint. I am going to do alot of remodeling. I have to start those apartments on Monday so I am headed over to the house now to start ripping carpet up. Tomorrow I'm going to have Rose go pick out paint. I called a couple of my guys to come help me tomorrow and they are going to help me take out the dining room and make the kitchen and bathroom bigger." he said.

"You know I could call Edward and we could knock out a big chunk tonight. We work cheap! It'll only cost ya a case of beer." I grinned.

"I would appreciate it. I'll go grab the beer and meet ya there." He said.

"Hey Bells?" I called as I entered the house; "I'm going to help Em with their house tonight."

"Oh good! They are driving dad crazy." She smiled.

"Who's driving me crazy?" Charlie asked.

"Em and Rose. They bought a house and I am going to help get it livable. I'm also calling Edward to see if he wants to help." I told him.

"I'm in too. Where is it?" he said.

"It's the old Stattler place." I told him. He nodded and we headed out the door. I called Edward and he agreed to meet us there. I called Em and let him know that Charlie was going to help too. We met at the house and Emmett showed us what all he planned to do. Edward and Charlie started taking the carpet out and Em and I started knocking down the walls of the closet sized dinning room. Three hours later the kitchen and bathroom where one room and all of the rubble was hauled out. Tomorrow Em's guys would put up a new wall and divide the rooms. Edward and Charlie had the carpet up and were almost done with removing the tack strips. By nine o'clock we were through. We all agreed to meet back here in the morning and Em asked if Bella would go with Rose to pick out paint. I told him I would ask her.

Pops and Bella where playing cards when I got home, well actually my wife was hustling Pops in poker pretending not to know what she had. She kept asking 'are these good cards?' and saying phases like "Are these cards good?" "Must be beginners luck." I chuckled from the doorway. Bella looked up with a guilty grin.

"How much do you owe her Pops?" I chuckled.

"Six weekends of babysitting and two weeks of laundry. Beginners luck can only take her so far." he said.

"Pops, you've been hustled! Bell's has been playing poker since we were kids and she's good at it! That sweet, innocent crap she pulls is her game. She won Emmett's car for a month the summer of his senior year. She's so full of it!" I chuckled.

"I'm out!" Pops chuckled good naturally, "Well, played kiddo! Well, played."

I went and took a shower and lay down in bed with Bella and fell asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow.

BELLA'S POV

I woke up a little before the alarm hearing a car pull up so I hurried down stairs to find Bree, Rylie, and Victoria piling out of the car. I stepped on to the porch and was engulfed in a hug.

"I hope you don't mind. When Jaz called to let us know Ali was officially my grandbaby I had to come." Victoria bubbled.

"Not at all come on in." I said lead them inside to the kitchen and started fixing coffee and then sat down at the table.

"So how long are you down for?" I asked. Smiling as I heard the alarm and Jaz groan. We all looked overhead. "He'll be down in a few minutes."

"We're not sure. Vic was so excited to get here she barely let us finish work and studying. We just jumped in the car for fear of being left." Rylie teased. We heard Ali start babbling her morning song and Jaz talking to her.

Victoria's eyes lit up and tears welled in her eyes. "I've missed you all."

"We've missed you too." I told her. I spent the next ten minutes filling them in on the craziness that was our life until Jaz walked in with Ali. Victoria made her way to them and threw her arms around Jaz and Ali. Ali squirmed and wanted down so Jaz set her down and hugged his momma tight.

"God, how I've missed you." he said.

Ali didn't even notice the guests she just continued to the fridge she was a girl on a mission. I followed her and handed her a sippy cup of milk and scooped her up. The coffee was ready and Bree and Rylie were fixing everyone coffee. I walked over to the table and sat down with Ali nestled into my lap. When Victoria finally let go of Jaz she sat beside Ali and I. Ali regarded her carefully.

"She doesn't remember me." Victoria said sadly, "I'm not around enough."

"Mom she's only met you twice." Bree reassured her. Jaz took Ali and I began making breakfast. I knew Emmett and Rose were coming over this morning. Emmett was dropping Rose off here and Jaz was going with him to help with their house this morning. Rose, the girls, and I are going to go pick out paint for her new house. I made up a giant platter of French toast, and fried a platter of bacon. I had a suspicion everyone would be here shortly because that's how it always goes. Soon I heard another engine coming down the driveway and soon after Edward came with Maisey in his arms.

"Can I leave Maisey here today? She needs some company!" He asked.

"A PUPPY!" Esme shrieked as she bounced to Edward, "Can I hold her?"

"Now be careful she's still alittle sore." He said gently placing his new "baby" in her arms.  
>Esme carted Maisey off to the living room where she sat on the couch and crooned sweetly to the puppy.<p>

"Yeah! You can leave her hear. Getting her back from Esme might be tricky though." I chuckled at the worried look that momentarily crossed his face. He headed into the living room to sit beside Esme.

"Hey Essy. How would you like to puppy-sit today? If you do a good job I will even pay you." he said.

I listened to his and 'Essy' (I'm not sure were the nickname came from or if I even like it) visit while I finished up breakfast. I was starting to put the food on the table when Emmett pulled up, followed by dad. Dad brought a pan of cinnamon rolls with him.

"Here ya go, kid! I figured you would be invaded this morning." He said kissing my cheek.

We sat down to eat and I watched my insanely big family. Victoria who had finally won Ali over had her sitting on her knee letting her feed herself French toast that she had drowned in syrup. Ali was covered in syrup and bits of French toast. Essy was fussing over the puppy curled up in her lap slipping her tiny pieces of bacon. Edward was scolding her for feeding Maisey from the table. Dad and Pops were discussing going fishing this week. Emmett, Rylie and Jaz were discussing the house. Rose and Bree were visiting animatedly about Rose's new house. My kitchen was buzzing with happy conversation. I had everyone who mattered most to me under my roof. I sighed happily and visited with the crazy crew sitting in my kitchen.

Rylie decided to go with the guys to work on Rose and Em's house, Pops was staying home with Ali, Esme opted to stay with Maisey at the house, leaving Rose, Bree, Victoria and I to go shopping. I thanked Pops for watching the girls and he assured me that he loved watching them.

Rose, Bree and Victoria piled into my car and headed out. We when to the hardware store and looked at paint. Rose found the perfect shade of cornflower blue. We bought it and then went to the furniture store. Rose and Em lived in a tiny little studio apartment. The only furniture they had was a futon, an entertainment center and TV Plus kitchen and bathroom stuff. We helped Rose pick out furniture except for the master bedroom furniture since the bedroom wouldn't be ready for a while. We then went to the baby department and she picked out a white crib, dresser and changing table. She paid for it all and said she would call them with a delivery date and address. We stopped for lunch and then headed over to Rose's new house. She loved the changes and we were all amazed that it was almost finished so quickly. Emmett's crew had already framed and put drywall up between the bathroom and kitchen. They were going to paint this afternoon and then Rose and Emmett could move in. She called to have her furniture delivered the next day. All of their furniture from the old house was already here. Emmett had the futon in a bedroom along with the end tables.

Jaz followed me home in his truck. Where Pops and Esme were sitting on the porch. Edward had asked us to keep Maisey for the night and Esme was excited. She had fallen in love with Maisey and she had already asked for a puppy of her own. I told her Jaz and I would have to talk about it.

That night Jaz and I did talk about it. We decided that we would let Esme get a puppy and it would come from the local animal shelter. When we told her the next morning she was excited. She loved the idea of rescuing a dog. Jaz and I discussed getting a dog that was already housebroke. She practically danced with excitement. I called the shelter to see how late they were opened and explain a little about Esme's situation. The lady said she would be there for an hour if we wanted to come now. Esme and I jumped in the car and took off.

When we pulled in Esme dragged me through the door. The lady behind the desk smiled and greeted us.  
>"You must be Esme" she smiled.<p>

"Yes, I am. I am here to rescue a puppy." Esme said excitedly.

"Well then follow me." she smiled leading us back to several dog runs housing barking dogs. The first one we came to was a hyper little Jack Russell Terrier. He was bouncing around yapping. His tag said her was not good with small children so we moved on. There was a beagle that was aggressive with other animals. Next was a Silver Great Dane who ate chickens. At the end of that run was a seven year old red Blood hound with sad eyes who was laying quietly an the back of her run. The lady explained that her owner had passed away and that the poor dog was morning the loss. She was housebroken, she was previously a farm dog, and had a sweet nature. We walked to the next run were there was a little border collie whose tag said adoption pending. Then we came to the puppies. Esme was quiet now, deep in thought as she turned to me.

"Mom, would it be ok to get an older dog?" She asked.

"Yes. Esme you can pick any one of them you want as long as it will get along with the family and our animals." I said.

"Can I see that Blood Hound? She needs rescuing more then the rest of them." Esme said.

"Why don't we take her outside? She does need a nice family. I think she will perk up once she is in a new home." she said. We made our way to the old dogs pen and once the gate was opened she wagged her tail watching us. Esme crouched and called to her and the old dog rose and walked slowly to her. Esme rubbed her ears and stood calling her with her. The dog lumbered along beside Esme. We walked out to a fenced yard were Esme sat in a chair. The dog sat in front of her. "What's her name?" Esme asked.

"Her name is Daisy." I read off the tag attached to her collar. The dog perked up at the sound of her name. Esme scratched the old dog behind the ears. Daisy closed her eyes and leaned into Esme tapping the ground with her foot and groaned.

"Mom, she's the one I want." Esme laughed.

"Alright! We will do the paperwork and them we'll take her home. Although if I had known you where going to get a horse I would have brought the truck." I joked.

"She's not that big." Esme giggled then really looked at her dog, "Maybe a pony but not a horse." Daisy was every bit as tall as Shadow. Esme walked around happily with Daisy while I stepped inside to fill out the paperwork.

"Most people would have probably gone with a younger dog. Daisy is sweet but she is already 7. Most big dogs don't live very long after that." the older lady said.

"She picked her. You can't let the fear of future pain keep you form living now. Death is a fact of life. My family will love her long after her life ends. When that time comes and she dies. I'm sure we will be upset because of the loss but we will have alot of loving memories to look back on." I said to her.

"I'm glad you all picked her. I hope she lives a long happy life with your family." I smiled warmly and handed her the paperwork back and she ushered us out to my car. Esme rode in the back seat with Daisy to the local feed store. Esme walked beside Daisy with her hand resting on her back. We picked up a leash Esme clipped the leash to Daisy's collar and then we went to get a raised water and feed bowl. Daisy nudged a worker with her nose.

"Daisy?" she asked looking to Esme.

"Yes, we just got her from the animal shelter." I told the lady.

"I wondered what had happened to her." she said rubbing her ears.

"Do you know what brand of food she is use to?" I asked.

"Yes I do. She is also due for her flea treatment in a couple of weeks." She said leading the way to the feed isle, "Did the shelter know about her skin allergies?"

"No." I said.

"She is allergic to ragweed. Mr. Coal use to give her a bath in Colloidal Oatmeal shampoo every week to keep her hair from falling out." she told me and she pointed out the Pedigree dog food. I chose the 50lb bag given Daisy's size.

"Do you have the shampoo here?" I asked.

"Yes. It is right next to the Frontline." she said once again leading the way. I picked up the Frontline along with the shampoo she pointed out and she led us to the front pf the store. The cashier recognized the stench of the animal shelter that hung in the air around poor Daisy and complimented the fact that we had rescued an older dog.

Once we were situated back in the car we headed home. The first order on business was to bathe the stink of the shelter off of Daisy. As we drove I watched as Daisy lay down in the seat and propped her head on Esme's lap. Esme rubbed the old hounds ears as she lovingly smiled down at her.

When we pulled up Jaz strolled onto the porch. I laughed at the look on his face when Esme brought Daisy out of the car. We made our way to him and he laughed and watched as Esme carrying the dog shampoo ushered Daisy past him telling her that she was going to get a bath.

"She always wanted a Blood Hound." he grinned.

"I remember!" I smiled back as I grabbed the rest of the bags and Jaz grabbed the Pedigree and headed inside.

"Em and I where talking." He started.

"Uh-oh!" I joked.

"Hey!" he complained playfully. We laughed. "But seriously! We were thinking about finishing our basement for pops. Maybe put a long ramp down there and giving him more space." he said

"That sounds great. Pops was so upset when his landlord rented his old apartment when we moved his stuff. Maybe this will make him feel a little better. We need to get those windows fixed and take the plywood off. He might like some natural light." I said.

"Since his birthday is coming up I thought it might be nice to surprise him." Jaz smiled, "Em wants to help to. He said he would help us free of charge as a thank you for helping him with his house and a birthday present to Pops. Edward wants to split the cost of supplies. He and Pops have really bonded lately. He said he's come to think of his as a sort of father."

"Kinda like someone else I know." I grinned, "That sounds wonderful. Pops is worried about being in the way. I also want to put a ramp off of the porch. Pops sits in the rocking chair on the porch and stares at the pasture. You remember you and Dad helping him maneuver the steps and how hard in was for him. He won't ask for help for fear of inconveniencing someone. So he is trapped inside or on the porch."

"That sounds like a plan. I will make that our top priority. They are all coming over tomorrow after church. I will go pick up the lumber to build the ramp before the hardware store closes." He smiled leaning the dog food against the house, kissed me softly then fished out is keys. I smiled as he hopped in his truck. I continued into the house. I heard giggling from the bathroom where Esme was giving Daisy a bath. I peeked through the door to see Esme as covered in soapsuds as Daisy was and smiled relishing in the fact my family was happy. I walked in to the kitchen to find Bree cooking lunch.

"Where is Victoria?" I asked.

"Fishing with your dad and Pops. I think there maybe a budding new romance beginning she's awfully friendly with Pops." She giggled.

I chuckled, "From what I remember she hated fishing."

"I know!" She giggled.

"What are you girls gossiping about?" Rylie teased as he came into the room.

"Mom and Pops." Bree said.

"Are you playing matchmaker?" He chided.

"No! I am just paying attention." Bree retorted.

The three of us laughed and talked until Jaz got back and swiped Rylie to help him unload lumber. Bree and I finished supper and Jaz, Rylie, Bree, the girls and I sat down to lunch. The conversation was light until the girls went to play and then the conversation turned to Pops and Victoria. Bree filled Jaz in on the new relationship that she suspected. Jaz furrowed his brow but kept quiet. Bree rambled on oblivious to her brother's worried expression. I kept quiet too. I would visit with Jaz later. Jaz asked me if I would 'give him a hand in barn' code for I need to talk to you privately, if he would help my clean up the dishes.

"I'll clean up, Bella. Go _help _Jaz!" Bree smirked. I blushed but went with it because at least it disguised Jaz true reason for taking me to the barn and ensured that no one would be down there.

"Thanks!" Jaz told her placing his hand on the small of my back and guiding me out the door. Jaz laced his fingers though mine as we walked to the barn. I could see the tension and worry rolling off of him I gave his hand a gentle squeeze. He smiled uncertainly at me. Once the barn door was closed we climbed the latter to the hayloft and sat on the hay staring out the west window.

"Is it true?" He blurted out, "Are they together?"

"I don't think they are together. I can see that there is something there. Dad and Pops invited her fishing and she went." I told him.

"But she hates fishing." Jaz said.

"That's why Bree thinks she likes Pops. She hasn't strayed to far from Pops since we returned from shopping. She watched a movie with him in the living room, then they played cards, they doted on Ali, sat on the porch swing and watched Esme play with Daisy. She likes being around him." I told him.

"I just... what if..." he stammered and then groaned, "What if she runs? What if..." he sighed and broke off.

"Jaz," I said gently laying my hand on his supportively, "you know why she ran last time. She's not going to leave you. Pops would never do anything like what happened to her. Pops seems to know just how to deal with the skittish and emotionally injured. He wouldn't do anything to hurt you or her." I was silenced by Jaz crashing his lips to mine.

I was starting to get light-headed before he pulled back," Thank you!" he grinned sheepishly.

"For?" I asked.

"For being there for me! You know just how screwed up I am and you're still hear." he said wrapping me in his arms tightly.

"And I'm not going anywhere!" I told him kissing his neck.

"So what do you think about them?" he asked.

"Well, I think that they deserve to be happy. And if they make each other happy then that's great." I said.

"You're right." he sighed softly.

"Aren't I always?" I teased.

He kissed the top of my head and chuckled, "Usually."

"I have been meaning to talk to you. You've just been so busy. You mom wants to move back home." I said.

"Is this because of... It's too soon..." He started chattering.

"JAZ!" I said sharply to shut him up, "This was discussed while we were shopping before she spent any time at all with Pop's. She talked about you staying with Bree and Rylie at her house and her finding a small place here."

"What about her Job?" HE quipped.

"She writes novels for a living. She was thinking about living in the apartments Emmett is renovating after they are finished." I told him, "When Bree and Rylie leave tomorrow she wants to stay with us until you go to check in at the college. Then she will pack the rest of her things and come back. The first floor apartments will be finished by then and she can move in." I said, "She hasn't said anything to Bree yet. Rylie kinda walked in on our talk. He agreed to keep his mouth shut and let your mom tell Bree herself."

"Why now?" he asked softly.

"To spend time with you and Ali. Jaz she missed alot of time with you. She wants to be part of our lives." I replied gently.

"What about Bree?" he asked.

"Bree is moving to New York as soon as she finishes law school. There is nothing holding her there! You can stay with your sister and Rylie and not have to pay rent and she gets to spend time with her granddaughter." I said, "This means a lot to her. She's worried about how you and Bree will take it though."

"So mom was afraid to talk to me? Is that why she told you and Rylie first?" He asked with a snarky tone in his voice.

"Jaz! STOP! That's not it at all, your mom thought you would be happy so she wanted me to talk to you first and then tonight we will all talk. I told her the 3 of us would go riding after supper. Jaz why are you so upset?" I told him although I wanted to turn him over my knee and wear him out since he was acting like a petulant child, "She was talking to me to see if she could stay with us until her apartment was ready to move into."

"I thought you said she talked to you on your shopping trip, How did Ry walk in on that?" he challenged still disgruntled and ignoring my question.

"We did talk on our shopping trip. Then again later at the house. When Ry walked in she came clean with him. He agreed to let your mom tell Bree..." I was cut off.

"I'm sorry. I know I'm being an ass." he said hanging his head.

"Yes you are." I agreed, "What is going on? You were fine until I mentioned your mom staying with us."

"I don't know, I guess part of me is still that little boy that she left all those years ago. I know its crazy but I keep waiting for her to disappear again. I worry that if we let her in again that if she does disappear again it will not only effect me but Ali too." He sighed and slumped his shoulders, "I get why she left up here." he pointed to his head, "but I just can't make it ok in here." he pointed to his heart.

I pulled him to me, I totally understood what he was saying. I knew both his and her stories. I knew she ran to protect herself and Bree but I also know the devastation it caused for Jaz. The way he tortured himself wondering if he could have done something to make her stay. I cried with him so many times and even hated Victoria for making him feel that way. I know now my anger was misplaced and I was beginning to form a relationship with her. For Jaz the emotional turmoil was worse then ever. He started to sway gently and in a choked and shaky voice began singing the lullaby he had when we were kids. My heart sank with the knowledge that he only did this when the pain was too much for him and he was trying to calm down? His tears fell on my shoulder for an hour. He was shaking uncontrollably and clinging to me for dear life. I knew from past experience that any efforts to calm him would result in his bottling his feeling and truing to be strong for everyone and that as hard as it was to see him like this that all I could do was be there for him, let his hold me, cling to him and just let him get this out. I watched as he weeping transforming before my eyes into the little boy that was abandoned years ago. My silent tears streaming down my face as I witnessed his pain. I hated Carlisle with everything I had in me for the hell he had put Jaz through. I was angry with Victoria at this moment for not finding a way to fight for Jaz. I hated the pain that Jaz felt. We stayed in the barn long after Jaz managed to calm himself. We watched the sun sink beneath the horizon silently letting Jaz calm down.

"Jasper? Bella?" we heard Victoria call into the now dark barn.

"We're in the loft." Jaz answered in a raspy voice.

"Should I leave you too be?" she asked undoubtedly recognizing the hurt in his voice.

"No, We'll come down." Jaz croaked.

Jaz and I went down the ladder to find Victoria sitting on the bale of hay outside Diesel's stall. She looked sad. "I'm sorry. I should have said something long ago. I have been here for awhile now." she said.

"How long?" Jaz whispered.

"I know what I did to you. I'm sorry! I knew we would have to deal with this eventually." She said tears welling in her eyes.

"I can't right now, mom. I just can't." Jaz whispered, "You are welcome to stay with us. Maybe we can deal with everything later but right now I just can't." he said, "I'm going to go take a shower and go to bed." he said gently hugging his mother. As he walked away I saw her silhouette shake with silent sobs. I sunk to the ground in front of her and asked her what she had heard. It turned out she had only walked in to hear Jaz say "I don't know, I guess part of me is still that little boy that she left all those years ago. I know its crazy but I keep waiting for her to disappear again. I worry that if we let her in again that if she does disappear again it will not only affect me but Ali too. I get why she left up here but I just can't make it ok in here." and hear him completely break. While she understood that she had hurt him she never saw (heard) it first hand. She told me she tried to leave the barn but just couldn't. She had gotten upset and had gotten light headed so she had sat down on the nearest thing to her. I sat with her until she calmed down and then we went to the house. Jaz was just coming out of the bathroom as I walked into the bedroom. I sat down on the bed waiting for Jaz.

"The girls are already in bed." he said softly.

"I know." I said.

"Take a walk with me?" he asks pulling on his favorite beat-up blue jeans and a t-shirt. I nodded as he slipped in to his boots and grabbed my hand. I popped into the kitchen to tell Bree we were going for a walk and then we where off. Jaz and I wondered aimlessly until we came to the old fallen tree. We both loved this spot. We sat down on it and leaned into each other. I could feel him start to relax against me.

"I love you." He said softly into my ear before placing a soft kiss on my forehead.

"I love you too." I said.

We sat there for hours until the horses came to see what we were doing. We headed back to the house trailed by two nosy horses. Jaz chuckled and fed then once we got back to the barn. The house was completely dark and all was quiet except for Pops snoring. We went upstairs and I took a shower and Jaz went to bed. When I came out of the bathroom I heard soft sobbing from downstairs. I walked down stairs to find Victoria and Pops on the couch. Pops had a comforting arm around her as she sobbed into his chest. Pops looked up and mouthed 'Good Night' to me. I quietly made my way upstairs to find Jaz sleeping soundly he was exhausted from the emotional evening. I lay down beside him and felt his arms curl around me and pull me into his strong, cozy embrace. I fell asleep feeling safe, secure, and loved.

Jaz POV

I could hear her sobbing and went to check on her. Just before she came into view I heard Pops soothing her. Telling her that I would just need time and that she needed to understand that I went through hell when she left and it was something that still affected me today. I retreated back to the bedroom my chest feeling like in could burst. I feigned sleep when I heard Bella come into the bedroom. I could hear sobbing from down stairs and I refused to let Bella see me break again today. She lay down and without a second thought I had her in my arms. She would never know the strength I drew from her. I would have never been able to hold back the sea of mixed emotions I was feeling without her. I have always felt stronger with her around. I buried my face in her hair breathing her calming scent in. She fell asleep quickly. I lay there holding onto her warring within myself. I wanted to forget the pain and loneliness I felt when my mom had left. I hated that she was hurting. I felt like such a rotten excuse for a son for not being strong enough to be able to take her in my arms and tell her that I'm ok. I desperately wanted to be ok, to be able to tell her that I understood why she left and it was ok and mean it. I hated the lost feeling that I got when I thought about her. Even now having her here still gave me that lonesome feeling. I love my mother and I really do want to get past all of this. I know it hurts her that I am not able to sit down with her but the excitement of finding her has faded and now the wounds from the past have been reopened and the pain was just as fresh. A traitorous tear escaped and rolled down my cheek into the crook of Bella's neck. She immediately rolled to face me and wrapped me in her arms. The loving embrace opened the floodgates and for the second time today I wept. She held me silently understanding what I needed. I didn't sleep much that night and woke feeling terrible. Thankfully Bella took everyone to church and left me to sleep.

I spent the day in my room and with exception of Bella checking on me and bringing my lunch everyone left me alone. I dozed of and on. I kept having strange dreams there was alot of banging that I never could find. Bella gently shook me and ask how I was feeling.

"What time is it?" I asked her.

"It's mom, Bree and Ry are getting ready to leave." she said quietly.

"Mom's leaving? I thought she was staying with us for awhile." I rambled.

"She thinks it might be to soon. She wants to give you all the time you need." she said looking me in the eye searching for my thoughts.

"I want her to stay! We need to talk. I want to build a relationship with her. I need her here!" I stammered feeling panicky as I stumbled out of bed not realizing mom was standing at the bedroom door and Bella leaving the room.

"I'll stay then." she said in a tight voice as she crossed the room to me. I wrapped my arms around her and she began to cry. We sunk to the floor and wept with each other. I needed her to be here for me now, to prove that she loved me and wasn't going to run off again.

"I'm so sorry, Jasper!" mom sobbed and strangely the pain faded just a little bit.

"Mom, I," I started.

"Jasper, please let me finish." mom said, "I know it will take time for you to forgive me and that's ok. I hurt you and I don't expect you to trust me over night. I know I have a long road ahead of me and I am willing to work on it! I should have fought for you then and I failed you. I will fight for you now Jasper! You are worth the fight son." she choked out. Then we pulled ourselves together, dried our eyes and went down to tell Bree and Rylie goodbye.

It was a tearful goodbye for Bree. This was the first time in Bree's life that she wouldn't be in the same town as our mother and she hated leaving my family. She cuddled a sleeping Ali and hugged Esme. (Whom every one was now calling Essy. _pronounced Izzy)_ Essy had become quite fond of my sister. We walked out to their car and waved them off and I noticed Pops hobble back up his ramp. It finally hit me what the banging was that I had been searching for in my dream they had built the ramp. I would have to thank the guys.

The afternoon was quiet. Essy played in the playroom with Ali, Mom and Pops disappeared outside, and Bella and I just lounged around on the couch. It had been a crazy weekend and I had a feeling that life was about to get crazier until school started.

We chattered on about our day tomorrow. Bells was going to take Ali and go grocery shopping while Esme met with Dr Black. I was going to call the Boarding house that had the small apartment I was going to stay at and let them know I would no longer need it. We talked about the worry we both felt about when school started. Essy was still not thrilled about my leaving for school and any time it was brought up she would throw a major fit and ignore me completely. Deep down I feared that my relationship with her would suffer. Bella ask me if I would take Essy to pick up a pizza and let her pick a movie.

When we hopped in the truck and started down the driveway I could see something was on her mind.

"What's the matter Essy?" I asked.

"You're leaving in a month to go live with Aunt Bree." she whispered.

I pulled the truck over and put it in park, "School does start in about a month. I will leave Tuesday afternoon so I can get settled in at Aunt Bree's and then go to classes then I will Come home Wednesday evening to spend time with you, Bella, & Ali then I will get up Thursday and take you to school and then head back. I will be home Friday and get to spend all weekend with you all before I go back Sunday and then be back Monday night. I will take you to school on Tuesday morning and then I will go back again. I will only be gone Tuesday and Thursday nights. Think of it like this, you know how you spend the night with Edward sometimes?" I smiled as she nodded, "Well, I am going to have a sleepover with my sister."

"But I need you for my dialysis appointments." she said shakily.

"Essy, Bella takes you to those." I gently reminded her.

"WELL I DON'T WANT MOM TO!" she shouted then softer, "I want you there, daddy!" The doctors warned us that there might be a period of time after each dialysis appointment that Esme may be angry with the one of us who took her to her appointments. She did seem to be passive aggressive towards Bella all evening after an appointment and stayed in her room the rest on the evening only coming out to tell Pops, Ali and I good night making a big production of not telling Bella goodnight. The following morning she always made up for it though by giving Bella a huge and telling her that she loved her the best.

"I will skype with you in the evenings but I have classes so I can't be here Sis" I said sadly

"WHY? Why do you have to go?" she shouted.

"I am going to school so that I can provide a good life for us. Essy, I want to be able to give you girls everything. In May after I graduate I will become a lawyer and we will never have to be apart again." I said.

She folded her arms acrossed her chest and stared straight ahead.

"You know. How about we just enjoy the time we have together and not waste a second of in fighting?" I said hoping to soften her up.

"Fine" she sighed.

The ride into town was quiet she was upset. I pulled into Blockbuster and asked if she would like to pick the movie. She nodded and we walked in. She combed the shelves and finally came up with an old Elizabeth Taylor movie National Velvet. I should have known she would pick a horse movie. We picked up the pizza and headed home. Essy was trying not to be mad at me but she was still visibly upset. I shot Bells a quick text from the driveway to warn her then carried in the pizzas.

When we got in the house Bells and Ali were snuggled into the over-sized chair, Daisy was snoring on one half of the couch. Mom and Pops were on the loveseat. Essy went and sat beside her dog. I sat the pizza down and watched as everyone fixed their plates then fixed Bella's and my plates. Essy had to move to fix hers so I took a seat where her feet had been. She sighed and sat next to me. We watched the movie and she began to forget her anger and leaned into my shoulder. I smiled as she laid her head on my shoulder and whispered, "I love you dad. I'm sorry." I hugged her and told her I loved her too. After the movie I took Ali to get her ready and Bella helps Essy get ready for bed. Mom and Pops retreated to Pops bedroom. I was not pleased and debated going and telling them that the door stayed opened and mom needed to sleep in her room tonight. I would have told them that too if Bella hadn't argued that they were adults and that if I didn't leave them alone I would be sleeping in the guestroom. Like I said I wasn't pleased but I knew Bella meant business so I left them alone.

The weeks before school flew by. Mom and I were taking baby steps to a good relationship. Mom and Pops got closer and closer. She had not spent a night in the guestroom all month. Pops was getting around better and so they went for long walks, horseback rides and even dates. She had even asked him to move into the apartment with her and he decided to. They talked to me about it and I said I was ok with it but I don't think I am fooling anyone. Mom has kinda adopted Edward as a son too just as Pops did. Everyone seemed happy.

It was currently Monday August the 6th Essy was excited. It was her first day of school. Bella and I drove her to school and dropped her off. As we headed back home I sighed.

"I need to tell you something." I paused "Edward kind let it slip that we where married last night when he was at Emmett and Rose's. She called me and wasn't pleased so everyone knows." I said remembering the scathing tongue-lashing I had received from Rose.

"Oh God! I had a call from Rose this morning but was busy with Essy so I let it go to voice mail. We need to go over there and smooth her ruffled feathers." She said.

Just what I want to deal with today!" I grumbled.

"I know." Bells said softly, "We knew they would find out eventually.

"I just wish we had more time." I said.

"How about we take Ali riding after we deal with this. Then after we pick Essy up lets go to dinner and just be us." I said knowing that everyone would be there tonight as always. It seemed that everyone congregated at our house and visited. Most nights I loved it but tonight I wanted it to just be us.

"Jaz, you're mom wanted to have a dinner for you tonight. she asks me about it while you were in the shower this evening. I was going to tell you but with Essy's excitement there wasn't time." she said.

"Oh" was all I could muster. I was glad that I had such a big family and that we where all close but I really just wanted to spend time with Bella and the girls tonight.

"We can go take the girls to the park and spend time just us then we can go home and spend time with everyone at dinner." she said gently.

"Riding sounds great." I said.

"Good. So, what are your plans for tomorrow? I asked.

"I will spend the morning with you until you leave. Edward is going to take Ali and keep her till dinner and pick up Essy from school. So I think I will go grocery shopping and maybe pick up some new ridding boots for Essy. Her birthday is coming up and she saw a pair of boots that she loved while we where picking up feed the other day. After that maybe take Diesel out for a ride. I have been re-evaluating what I want to do with my life. I love my life now. I get to write books and hang out with the kids and I have to wonder where I would find the time to squeeze that into my schedule if I went to work teaching. My schedule wouldn't be flexible. I have changed from who I once was and I don't want the same things any more. A year ago if you had asked me I would have said I didn't want kids, I wanted to be a teacher and an author. Now I can't imagine going to work and not having the girls. I want a house full of kids to love and spoil." she smiled.

"You want more kids? How many?" I asked, "I am fine with that! I don't care what you decide to do with your self as long as you are happy and with me."

"I wouldn't mind having one or two more." She smiled.

"When do you want to start having these babies?" I asked her, hoping her answer would be now.

"Well, I'm not sure. We haven't really discussed it." she said.

"Do you want to start soon? We could start now and then the baby would be born around the end of May." I said.

"You want more kids too?" She said searching my face.

"Yes I do. I have always wanted four or five kids. You know that. You have always said you didn't want kids so I didn't want to push you." I told her.

"Lets, get things settled. You're starting school, mom and Pop's are going to be moving out and that will take a while for the kids to get use to and then once things settle down we will add to our family." she said.

I sent Rose a text to let her know we were coming over to talk. She replied back, 'Fine'

When we pulled up Emmett was waiting for us outside and said gently, "Keep in mind that she's hurt."

I nodded and we followed him. Rose sat on the couch with her feet tucked under her and wore a sullen expression.

"Why didn't you tell us." She spat, "We were the only ones who didn't." tears spilled down her cheeks and Emmett gently pulled her into his lap.

"Rose, It started out as the lawyers said it would solidify our case to adopt Ali. We did a quiet little wedding with a judge." Bella started.

"Everyone knew but us!" Rose interrupted her.

"Dad and Pop's where witnesses. Then we found Victoria and Bree and I'm don't remember which of us slipped but one of us did. They agreed to keep quiet." she started again.

"And Edward?" Rose spat.

"I'm getting there." Bella said annoyed, "When it was decided that Esme would live with us there was a meeting. It came out that Jaz and I were legally married. Edward has hurt and we had to explain the whole thing to him too. We should have just had a big wedding when we got married but it was complicated." Bella finished.

"When?" Rose said softly.

"June 15th" I said pulling Bella to me.

"We knew it was close to your wedding and we didn't want to distract from that and plus I was only going to propose to Bella this summer until all hell broke lose. I thought maybe we would get married next summer. It was nothing against you. It was just a crazy mixed up mess and it all happened really fast. We had planned to have a real wedding next summer." I told Rose.

"Wow! Congratulations guys." Emmett smiled.

"Next summer?" Rose sighed, "Why not sooner? Like fall break? I could help you plan it! You're place is gorgeous in the fall?"

"I could do sooner!" said Bella, "What do you think Jaz?"

"Sounds good to me as long as you are happy!" I grinned. We were forgiven and if Bella was happy that's all that mattered to me. Rose and Bella rambled on about the wedding and Emmett and I slipped off.

He showed me the basement remodel. He had finished it all except the laundry room. He still had to close in the laundry shoot. They had their bedroom set up and Emmett had built a nursery adjoining their bedroom and everything was waiting to see if the baby was a boy or a girl. Emmett was secretly hoping for a girl but giving Rose a hard time about it being a boy. She hoped for a girl. She would get riled up and tell him to stuff it. She just had a feeling it was a girl.

Once Bella and I got home Ali toddled over to me and I scooped her up. Edward was helping Mom and Pops with their packing Pop's things to take them over to the new apartment. No one ask for my help in this it was understood that I was having a difficult time with this. I felt childish but I couldn't help it. Edward did ask to barrow the truck which of coarse I let him. I went to saddle the horses while Bella visited with them.

I tacked up the horses in record time and rode up to the house leading Diesel. Shadow pranced along beside us. Bells handed me Ali and mounted up. We rode through the hey meadow and then decided to check out the south pasture that neither Bella nor I had ever had time to ride out. The whole pasture was mostly timber and the trails where quite brushy. I decided that this weekend We would come riding as a family and I would clear these trails because I could see that Bella Loved these trails. She was excited to see more. Bella said she may bring some pruning shears out tomorrow after I left and clear up these trails a bit. She also wants to widen these trails and use the trees for firewood. We do need to cut more firewood before it gets cold. The trails and wide enough for an ATV to pass through but I would love to widen these trails so you could drive through them in a truck. The trail we were on started to go up hill and opened into a small clearing with a pond that looked like it was made of glass it was so still. We continued on the path around it to the timber again. There where so many trails that Bella and I hadn't got to ride them all before it was time to head back to go pick up Esme. We rode back and put up the horses.

The house was empty when we returned as Pop's and my mother were spending the night in their apartment tonight. Ali had fallen asleep during the ride so I carefully laid her in her bed and Bella and I took full advantage of having an empty house then grabbed a quick shower. Once we were dressed and ready to go Bella woke Ali so she would sleep tonight and we went to pick up Essy. We played in the park for an hour and then headed home to find supper and out large family waiting on us.

Dinner turned out great. Emmett and I discussed firewood. He needed some to but didn't have any extra trees he could cut. I told him of Bella and my plans to widen out the trails and told him he could cut wood there. Then we discussed the little pond in the clearing. Rose and Bella included Mom in their wedding planning.

Bella's POV

I loved planning the wedding with Rose and Victoria. I had complete control and veto power. We would be married on the edge of the pond on farm. I would wear the white cotton sundress and Jasper would wear boots, jeans, and a new straw cowboy hat. My bouquet would be daisies and other wild flowers. I saw no need to go fancy because Jasper and I were simple people.

It would be an intimate ceremony with just our family, a few friends, and our pastor. After the ceremony we would grill hamburgers and hotdogs with our family. The only thing Jasper insisted on having fancy was a wedding cake made by Angela. Much to my delight Jasper chose a chocolate cake with fudge icing and dark chocolate embellishments. I knew he chose it specifically for me because while I am a chocoholic because he's not a big chocolate fan he would rather have had strawberries and ice cream I would make sure he had his favorite too.

At the end of dinner Rose and Victoria helped Essy and I clean up. Essy was in a mood because tonight Pop's and Gram (what Essy and Ali will call Victoria) where moving out. I hated the timing too but there was nothing to be done. I couldn't ask them to put their life on hold. Then Tomorrow Jaz left. She wasn't doing well. She burst into tears when it was time for everyone to leave and ran to her room with Jaz following her. Gram and Pop's hung around until everyone left.

"This is too much change, isn't it?" Pops asked me as I sagged against the couch.

"She is just worried everyone is going to abandon her." I said softly.

"Would it help if we stayed tonight?" Gram asked, "Rylie can help pack my stuff and I can drive it back, we could stay in the guest room until the first night Jaz comes home."

"It might. But I can't ask you to do that!" I sighed.

"Bella, it's the least we can do!" Gram said.

"I'll go talk to her. I may stay a little while longer to help settle things." Pop's said looking worried. He knew what Essy had been through and knew that this transition would be hard on her, "I will stay in the guest room for a couple of weeks. Jaz is leaving tomorrow and Victoria will leave with him tomorrow. When She comes home we will stay here until Jaz gets back and then Victoria can move into the apartment. I will spend nights that Jaz is home with her and then the next week I will stay on Thursdays until Essy goes to bed then come home." as he headed up stairs to talk with Essy.

The next morning I was awakened to Daisy's large wet nose rooting out my knee. I got up and let her out to do her morning patrol. I fixed a huge platter of French toast and bacon and even had the coffee done but no one was up yet. I took a cup of coffee and sat on the porch swing and watched the sun paint the sky with color. Finally Daisy came back and wanted in. She cocked her head to the side and whined softly. She seemed to sense the impending change Esme's unease made the old dog uneasy too. I called her to me and stroked her shine fur. She seemed more alive the longer we had her. She played and followed Esme everywhere.

I heard movement from inside the house and knew it was Essy due the happy bay that erupted from Daisy that disturbed the silence of the morning. Essy walked out to the porch and threw her arms around the old dog.

"Breakfast is ready! Can you set the table and I will go call everyone for breakfast." I said knowing that Daisy's bellow had woke everyone all I had to do was grab Ali and holler Breakfast to have everyone up and around. I heard Jaz and Ali chattering down the stairs along with Gram laughing.

"I think Daisy called everyone for breakfast!" Essy laughed as she headed inside. I went in to help Essy and get the food on the table. Everyone was in a subdued mood today. No one wanted to talk about the impending departures but no one really knew what else to talk about so we just ate in uncomfortable silence. The proverbial elephant standing in the room went on being ignored. Essy finished eating and went to gather her things for school day and Jaz took her to school. Pop's and gram took Ali out to play on the swings while I cleaned up breakfast. No one was really in to mood to visit. After the kitchen was cleaned I packed the last of Jaz's things into my car and then went to the basement to start cleaning it up for when Jaz started to renovate it.

I dusted, swept, and mopped out the empty space that ran the entire length and width of the house. They're where pillars to support the weight of the house but for the most past it were a wide-open space.

"Hey." Jaz's said in a soft voice from where he was standing at the bottom of the stairs. I walked over and he pulled me into a hug, "I hate leaving!"

"Don't do this!" I said pulling away slightly, "If we are going to make this work then we have to look forward to the day you come home. You will be home Wednesday. So you will get settled this afternoon, go do your orientation for the new classes, go to classes on Wednesday and then study in the library until 5 then you will come home to us." I said hiding the fact that I wanted to bawl very well.

"Your right. I just worry about you. The girls can be a handful and I won't be here to help you. I am going to miss so much." he sighed.

"We will skype this evening so you was still read Ali a bedtime story and have your evening chat with Essy. I'm sure she will have so much to tell you. This is going to be good for us in the long run even though it maybe hard now. We just have to think about the end result." I said sounding braver that I felt.

The morning went too quickly and I wasn't ready to say good-bye but the time had come! I opted not to follow him out side to wave from the porch as Pops did. I said my good byes and then threw myself into cleaning house vigorously. Pops went to the apartment and I packed Ali a bag for the day refusing to let myself think of were Jaz was. Edward came to get Ali and we visited for a few minutes. He seemed to know I would need a little comic relief so he told a few corny jokes and made me smile before whisking Ali away.

I walked through the house. This was the fist time in a long time I had been alone in the house and the silence was maddening. I quickly changed into my boots and retreated to the pasture where Diesel was grazing. As I approached the gate he and Shadow lumbered over. I put on his halter and lead my big boy to the barn with Shadow skipping along beside us. I quickly saddled him up and grabbed the pruning shears that Jaz had laid out for me then swung into the saddle and we were off. I had all day to myself today. Edward would get Essy and they wouldn't be back till suppertime. I quickly rode to the trails in the south pasture leaving the gate opened since there were no animals in there. Diesel stood like a good boy as I stood high in my stirrups to trim over grown branches and tossed the to the left side of the trail. It took nearly all morning to reach the clearing with the pond. I decided to give Diesel a break and hopped down. I took his bridle and hung it hung on the saddle horn and walked back down the trail dragging brush out of the trails to the open pasture in the south pasture piling them into a bonfire type structure to be burned at a later time. then I realized how tired I was and that I had to walk back up the hill to where I had left my horse grazing. I decided to whistle for him first. I whistled and heard him nicker in response and head down the trail. I saw Shadow barreling down the trail and trotted around me nickering softly. I saw Diesel trotting carefully down the trail to me. I was grateful that Diesel was such a good horse. I put his bridle back on and rode him back to the barn. After he was put up and fed I went to the house to shower and change.

I decided to shop in peace. I picked up the boots for Essy's birthday at the feed and tack store along with my weekly feed order and then stopped at the small bookstore that I had ordered Essy the next in the Saddle Club Series and the first Thoroughbred Series then I headed for the grocery store. It felt odd not to have Ali with me. I finished shopping in record time. On my way out I saw Maria. We visited for a few Minutes and then she suggested we go to lunch and catch up. I suggested the farm since I had groceries. She accepted and followed me home. I was in wonder that she was even back here. Last I heard she had married a big shot CEO and was off living the dream somewhere.

I pulled up to the house and was met by Daisy who walked dutifully by my side. Maria grabbed the last two of my shopping bags and followed me in to the house. I quickly put things away and made us 2 huge mugs of coffee. We sat in the living room and visited.

"So I hear you and Jasper finally quit fighting your feelings for each other." Maria grinned as she took a long drink of coffee.

"Yeah! It took a while but we finally gave in." I chuckled.

"I'm glad. You two where meant for each other." She smiled.

"Well, thank you!" I said, "So, how are things with you?"

"Uh! Well, I.. a," she hesitated.

"You don't have to answer that! I had a situation I really wasn't comfortable talking about here a while back too." I sat there for a minute thinking. I saw her gaze on a picture of Ali and decided that was a safe topic.

"That's my Ali girl. Jaz and I adopted her after the whole mess with Carlisle." I said.

"I heard all kinds of crazy stories about that. What actually happened?" she said sadly, "Is Jasper ok? I have been hearing some crazy stories around town. They said Esme is living with you and Jasper. And I could have swore someone said Victoria is back."

"Yes, she is." I said.

"Wow! Poor Jasper!" she said sadly.

"Actually her being back is a good thing! There was so much Jaz didn't know. He's actually attending law school with Bree. It's crazy they where in the same school and didn't realize it." I told her.

"He found Bree. That's great. He missed her so much! How did he find her?" She asked.

"I hired a private investigator. It went really quick. Carlisle knew where they where the entire time and didn't say anything. Victoria wanted a divorce and full custody of the kids. Carlisle told her that she could have Bree. He told her to take Bree and disappear. He said that if she tried to have anything to do with Jasper he would drug her keep her so drugged that she didn't know what was going on and put her in a nursing home. He then told her that he would sign away Bree to the state and let someone else adopt her. He wanted Jaz to carry on the family name. So Victoria took Bree and ran to protect her. Carlisle signed his rights over to Bree. He even went so far as to pay the private detective that Dad hired not to find them. When I hired Mike Newton to find them he had no trouble finding them." I said.

Wow!" she said, "Is that what happened to Esme?"

"Pretty much." I said grimly, "Esme had lost touch with reality. She didn't know her boys and didn't remember having Ali. Esme was deemed a danger to Ali so Carlisle signed her over to the start. Jaz and I where in the process of adopting her. We took her with us when we went to meet Victoria and Bree. When Victoria saw her and heard the vague story that Jaz told she pieced together who she was and what had happened. Jaz called the judge and got a court order to test Esme's blood and deny Carlisle access to her. It wasn't 20 minutes later that we got a call saying that Carlisle had been arrested for drugging Esme and Jaz was named her guardian. Esme is living here with us. She is mentally a preteen right now. When we started with her it was like having a five year old. She loves Ali and plays well with her like a sister but still doesn't remember that she is actually Jasper, Edward and Ali's mom. She asked to call Jaz and I mom and dad like Ali does so that's what she calls us. It's been trying on the boys although they won't admit that it hurts."

"WOW! That's sad." She said, "Bella, not to pry but what happened between you and Edward? I have heard horror stories about him nearly killing you."

I drew in a deep breath and then began, "Edward and I were married for a brief time. I caught him cheating on me and so he moved in with Carlisle and Esme and I was going to move out of the farm and back in with dad and Jaz told me that I could stay. I loved the farm so I stayed."

"Wait a minute! What?" She asked, "Is Jaz paying your rent?"

"No. Jaz owns this farm and Edward and I were renting it. Jaz had came home for the summer was going to stay with us until the whole split up thing. I was going to move out so he could have his home back but he told me I could stay. So I stayed and he moved into the guestroom he had been planning on staying in for the summer. It was just like old times. Jaz and I started having to fight feelings hard. He was my moral support through my divorce from Edward. It all came to a head right before the forth of July." I paused, "Jaz and I finally gave in and talked about our feelings. I decided not to attend the annual party and Jaz decided to skip it too. Edward was pissed. He came over and caught the tail end of our talk. Jaz and I went to the door and Edward threw a punch at Jasper. Jaz didn't realize that I was behind him and stepped out of the way. Edward missed him but his right hook caught me. I was knocked out and apparently hit the marble table in the entree way on may way down. I was out for a couple days. When I woke up Edward was in jail, Carlisle was in the process of drugging Esme so her behavior was very bizarre and Jaz sat and held my hand through it all. Poor Jaz would have fallen apart if it hadn't been for Harry Clearwater. Things are good now though. I know Edward wasn't trying to hurt me and we are all working to build new relationships. This has been a whirl wind." I said.

"Well, I saw Edward the other day while I was at the park with my daughter Clair and he had Ali there. We talked and he had asked me to have coffee with him sometime. So yesterday on my morning break I met him in the hospital cafeteria and we did have coffee. I really think I might like him the nurses where all a buzz and told me to stay away because he was a woman beater. They told me to "just ask you". He didn't seem like the type but I wanted to be sure. I really liked him but the more they insisted, I knew had to find out. If for no other reason then for Clair." She finished.

"He's not a woman beater. He was going after his brother but Edward has never given me reason to fear him. He is in anger management classes as a court ordered condition of his release. But it was a dispute between two brothers. He still feels terrible about what happened to me." I said.

"Is it safe to get involved with him?" She asked me.

"Maria, if I thought there was any danger of him being violent, he wouldn't have Ali right now." I said honestly.

"You heard that I married James, right. We traveled the world and things where wonderful. I tagged along with him while he conducted his business. He treated me like a princess and I was happy. When I found out I was pregnant we decided it was time to buy a home and settle down. So he found a beach house with a private beach below. We bought it and moved in. We had decorated the nursery all in pink when we found out Clair was going to be a girl. When I was in the hospital after having Clair James had an early meeting so he spent the night at home. It was a really wet rainy season and the side of the cliff leading down to our beach gave way. James was going down to the beach when it happened and had buried in the mud, rocks and remainder of the staircase. He only held our little girl once. I tried to stay but there where so many memories I just couldn't. So I moved back home and let James' parents have it. They said they felt closest to him there." She told me her voice heavy with the pain that her memories brought. "I am staying in James' Mom and Dad's old place. I am working as a scrub nurse in at the hospital. I work from 4am to noon." She smiled, "I know you are here for me."

"Maria, I'm so sorry! If there is anything you need..." I started in shock at what I had just heard.

"I know Bells. All I need is a good friend." she told me, "It happened over a year ago. I have learned how to live again although it was tough! Hey, What is there to do around here?"

"Not much unless you're a kid." I said.

"What do you and Jasper usually do?" She asked.

"Well, Jaz is at school and won't be home till Wednesday but I usually have a house full of family in the evenings or if I find myself with a free afternoon or morning I ride." I told her, "Hey? Are you free for dinner tonight?"

"Yes." She asked.

"I will have Harry and Victoria, dad, Rosalie, Emmett, the girls and Edward over for dinner. Why don't you come join us?" I suggested.

"I don't know?" She said. "I don't want to intrude."

"Maria, You are my friend and I really would like it if you and Clair joined us tonight. Clair and Ali are around the same age I bet they would get along well." I said.

"Well if you're sure I won't be intruding then I will come." she relented.

"What can I bring?" She asked me.

"Just yourselves. I bought everything I would need today for Lasagna, salad, garlic bread and an Italian Cream cake." I told her.

"Can I at least help you cook? I need to go pick up Clair from Daycare and then I can come back and help cook." she asked a little flustered, "The daycare thought it best for her to visit today before she started full time."

"You don't have to help cook but if you want to you can come back and help." I told her.

I walked her to the door and then went to check my email. There was an email from my publisher requesting a new book. I skipped over that one. There was one from the university that I had taken online classes from I skipped over that one as well. I was thinking seriously about not taking any more classes. I had a successful career as an author and always had more then enough work thanks to my brilliant publisher. I had time now to hang out with my family and take time off while completing each book before the deadline. If I went back to school then I would have to give up something and it would most likely be my time off. I wouldn't dream of cutting family time out and I couldn't stop writing because that helps out with bills. I doubt I will ever work outside the home now that I have grown to love being home and taking care of my family.

There was an email from Dr Black so I opened it. It was Essy's Class schedule and a report of how well she was doing. I was please to get a good report. Essy was thriving in her occupational therapeutic school and I was thrilled. Dr. Black was pleased that Essy was mentally a preteen although that was all the progress she was making. I let her do as much for herself as possible and getting Daisy made her a little more responsible. She would never be an adult mentally again but at least she was able to care for herself and enjoy a little freedom.

I looked up as Maria came back in and noticed that she looked upset. Then I noticed the huge bite marks on her daughter's hand and cheek. "I don't know what I'm going to do! When I got there Clair was screaming. The worker said that their "resident biter" had gotten to her twice before and she was terrified of him. I told them that she wouldn't be back but now I need to find childcare." She said almost in tears.

"I can watch her if you want. On Thursday's Esme had dialysis so I will have to bring her to you and I will need a car seat in case I need to go somewhere." I offered.

"I couldn't ask you to do that!" Maria said.

"You didn't ask me, I offered. Alice gets bored just playing with me and I'm sure she would be thrilled to have another little person to play with." I said.

"If you are sure you don't mind. I would need to drop her off at 3:30am and she can be a little bear when she first wakes up." She warned.

"That's fine." I said leading her into the play area in the kitchen. Clair squirmed and when Maria put her down she headed straight for the kitchen set. "I bet she and Ali will get along well!"

"If it becomes too much just let me know." she said, "I was going to pay that daycare $30 a day. Will that be enough?" She asked.

"That sounds fine. Just keep me stocked up on her diapers and wipes. This will work out well." I said, "Will you need me tomorrow?"

"Yes. I work Monday through Friday. Thank you so much. I didn't have a clue as to what I was going to do. Mom was down last week so she kept her and I would have had to take time off to find Clair someone to take care of her." she rambled. We lapsed into silence when we heard Edward bring the girls in. I noticed that she seemed almost nervous.

She blushed and ducked into the pantry as Edward carried Ali in. Ali squealed happily as she caught sight of Clair. Edward sat her down and she and Clair regarded each other cautiously then sat side by side and began playing. Maria come out of the pantry and shyly smiled at Edward.

"Hello Maria. It's good to see you!" he said tenderly.

I grinned as she blushed and awkwardly said, "Hi."

I grabbed dishes and went to the dinning room. Since Pop's had moved his stuff out he had put the table back in the dinning room. I started setting the table giving Edward and Maria some time alone. Esme come in to help me. 'Who's that in there with Edward?" she asked me.

"That's Maria. She is my friend. I haven't seen her since I was in high school." I said.

"Why aren't you in there talking to her?" she asked.

"Well because she has been here all day and Edward works at the hospital with her. So they are friends too." I explained.

"Oh." She said curtly clearly not pleased with Maria's presents.

Everyone started trickling in and everyone was there except for Gram and Jaz. Rose and Emmett visited with Maria and Rose snuggled Ali and Clair on her lap after dinner on the couch. Edward had offered to help clean up since we had cooked. I gratefully agreed and grinned as Maria told him she would help. I think everyone had the same idea as I did in letting Edward and Maria be alone together because it was out of character to leave the table and not offer to help clean up. Everyone started trickling out slowly just before 7:30.

When Jaz called the only ones left were Pop's, Edward and Maria. Maria had rocked Clair to sleep on the porch swing as she and Edward visited and Pop's had retired to the guest room. I set the girls in front of the computer and busied myself with laying out clothes for tomorrow and getting things ready for tomorrow. Ali fell asleep while chattering to Jaz and Essy had a million things to tell him. I scooped Ali up and took her to bed while Essy talked to her dad. It still felt strange for her to call us mom and dad but it was what she needed. I changed Ali into her pj's and laid her down. When I went back down stairs Essy was ready take a shower. I shooed her off to get ready and sat down to briefly talk to Jaz. We had decided before he left that he would call and talk to the girls and then after everyone was in bed or gone that he would call back and talk to me. I quickly told him I loved him and good-bye and then disconnected.

I went and helped Essy get around and in bed and told her good night and went to see whom if anyone was still here. Pop's kissed my cheek on his way past promising to be back for breakfast and then he would drive Essy is school then he hopped in his truck and was gone. Maria had already gone but had asked Edward to tell me that she would be here tomorrow at 3:30. Edward sat on the porch swing lost in thought.

"Are you alright?" I questioned.

"Yes. It's odd, that's all." he said looking at his feet.

I sat down next to him, "What's odd?"

"I feel like I am cheating on you, with her. I really like her but being here, in this house with you, having her here. Its just odd." he rambled leaning his elbows on his knees and grabbing two fist fulls on hair.

"Edward, I just want you to be as happy as I am with Jasper." I said putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I know you do but being with someone else just seems wrong. I still..." he paused rethinking his words, "I'm still working on getting over you. I thought that if I was with someone else it would help but I can't use someone like that. I do like Maria but I am not ready to jump into a relationship." he said.

"I think you should be honest with Maria. Tell her that you aren't ready for a relationship and while you do really like her you don't want to rush into anything and risk hurt feelings. I think knowing her she will understand." I said.

"I will Bella! I wouldn't hurt her like that!" he said, "I won't use you as a reason not to be with her either. I remember hearing about how Jaz broke up with her and what it did to your friendship." Edward said.

"Well, thanks for that." I said.

"Well, I'm going to go so you can get ready for bed." he said as he walked away then turned and called, "Hey, Bells?" I looked over at him, "If you need me I will be here!"

"Thanks Edward! Now get outta here so I can have some peace and quiet!" I said.

"Alright!" He chuckled, "I'll be here in the morning to take Essy to school!"

"Yeah, Yeah! Essy just let it slip I was making Apple Fritters!" I laughed.

"Oh alright! Fine! I am coming for the fritters!" He laughed.

"See ya tomorrow! I'll have breakfast ready." I chuckled.

I waved him off and ran up stairs with computer in hand and changed into my pj's with a minute to spare.

Jaz popped up on my computer screen and I clicked accept.

"Hello Darlin' How was your day?" he drawled softly.

"Good. Did you get all settled in?" I asked.

"Yeah. We packed all of mom's stuff and moved Bree and Rylie into her old room and me into Bree's. Mom headed back this afternoon. So she's probably there with Pops in their apartment be now." He said sounding alittle irritated. I let it go. I knew why he was afraid of their relationship and although his fears were unwarranted I still understood.

"Tell me about your plans for tomorrow." I said.

"Well, I plan to get up early and go for a run, then head to the school for that mandatory breakfast mixer, pick up my schedule, and then I plan to get the books I need downloaded to my tablet. Wednesday I will go meet with the study group By the way I will be home at 5 on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday but I will have to leave by 8:30 Tuesday and Thursday mornings. I can't wait to hold you in my arms." he said softly.

"I love you. Just keep in mind why we are doing this." I said summoning all of the strength I had keep from getting sad.

He smiled knowingly, "So what did you do today?"

"Well, I cleared that trail we rode on the other day and then I picked up the boots for Essy's birthday at the feed store along with the feed order and then stopped at the small bookstore and picked up some books for Essy then to the grocery store. On my way out I ran into Maria. We I invited her over to visit and to supper to night with the family." I recounted.

"Wow! I haven't thought about her for years. She married James right? How are they doing?" he asked.

"She is fine. James was killed in a mudslide at their house. She brought their daughter back here. She traded houses with James' parents. One that reminds me. I am going to be keeping her little girl, Clair form 3:30 in the morning till noon while she works." I said, "She and Ali seem to get along well. They sit side by side and play. It is adorable."

"What about Essy's dialysis?" he asked.

"I will take Clair with be to the hospital on Thursdays and hand her off to Maria there." I said, "Is it ok that I am watching her?" I asked hoping that this wasn't going to be an issue.

"Of coarse! Babe, you can do what you want to. I was just trying to figure out your schedule." he smiled at me, "Wednesday when I get home loading my three favorite people in the world up and taking you all out."

I feigned a look of disappointment and asked in the most dejected tone I could muster, "So what time will you be home?"

"Bella!" he groaned and I grinned, I will be home at 5! Be ready!"

"OK!" I giggled.

We visited till 11:30 neither of us wanting to say good-bye. Ali beginning to fuss interrupted our small talk. So with that the call was ended.

I made my way to Ali's room and picked up my fussy little girl. I took her down stairs and rocked her. She was fighting sleep and squirming to get down. I held her firmly and told her it was bedtime and she had to go to sleep. That opened a floodgate and she began wailing for her daddy, who was a pushover and would have taken her to the playroom and played with her. I took her out to the porch to rock her so Essy could sleep. I rocked Ali on the porch swing for close to two hours before she settled into a fitful slumber. I rocked her a little while longer and finally she settled into a deep sleep. I carefully took her back to bed and then headed for my bedroom. It was 2:30 already so I made my way to the guest bedroom and quickly set up the port-a-crib and got ready for Clair. By the time I got back to bed it was 3. I decided that I wound be better off to go lay on the couch until Maria dropped Clair off.

It seemed I had just nodded off when I heard Maria pull up. I quickly got the door opened and escorted Maria to the guestroom so she could lay her sleeping little angel down. Then followed her back down stairs.

"She didn't sleep well last night. Just let her sleep till she wakes up today. It was alittle before three so she will probably sleep till 11 or so." She said.

"Ok! Have a good day!" I said and she left.

"I went upstairs and fell into bed. And slept until 6. I got up and made coffee and then started of the apple fritters. By 7 I heard Esme coming down stairs fully dressed.

"Morning Essy!" I said cheerfully.

"Morning mom. Mom, do you think Edward likes that Maria girl?" she said.

"I don't know Essy. Why?" I asked.

"If they become a family then he won't have time for us anymore!" she pouted.

"Oh Essy! Edward will always have time for you." I reassured her giving her a quick squeeze.

"No he won't." He said stomping her foot.

"Who won't what?" Edward asked as he came in. Essy flew at Edward and threw her arms around his neck and chocked on a sob.

"Hey. What's wrong?" he crooned brushing her hair back. He looked at me.

"She is afraid of all the changes lately and that no one will have time for her anymore." I explained.

"Essy, I will always have time for you!" he started.

"NO YOU WON'T! YOUR GONNA MARRY HER AND THEN FORGET ABOUT ME!" she wailed.

"What?" Edward said confused as Esme ran to her room.

"What's going on?" Edward asked.

"She wasn't pleased with Maria being here yesterday. She kept asking why she was hanging around you. This morning she said that you were going to marry Maria and not have time for her. With all the changes going on she is just having a hard time adjusting." I said.

"Can I go talk to her? I would like to just take her and spend the whole day with her. I don't work till three." He asked.

"of coarse go talk to her. I am going to call Dr. Black and see what he thinks about you taking her for the day." I said ass he bounded up the stairs.

After my talk with Dr. Black I went up to tell Edward and Essy that Dr Black would be here around nine and then they could go play all day. Essy was tear soaked weeping on Edward's shoulder and Edward was having a hard time holding it together too. I escorted them downstairs and told them that Dr Black was going to be here at nine. I fed them breakfast and Edward followed Esme around the farm. She let Shadow out to follow her and he and Daisy frolicked in circles. Edward was terrified but stayed by Essy's side even when Shadow came to stand by him insisting on having his ears scratched.

I sat on the porch swing watching them until Dr Black arrived. He went out to them and the three of them visited for a minute then Essy nodded and went to put Shadow up and Edward and Jake came to the porch. Edward was going to spend the day as Essy's guest at school. I waved them off and went to lay down until the girls woke up.


	11. Chapter 11

I don't own Twilight it's just fun to play with.

Bella's POV

I woke up about 11, dressed, and went to check on the girls. Ali was sleeping soundly and Clair was lying in her crib frowning. I picked her up and took her down stairs. She picked at part of an apple fritter and drank her milk. The frown turned to a scowl as soon as the fritter was gone and I had given her diced ham and peas. She pushed everything as far away as she could get it without putting it in the floor. I cleared her high chair tray and let her down. She walked into the living room and climbed into the big over sized chair and curled up. I handed her a sippy-cup of water and turned on cartoons for her. She dozed off again quickly. I cleaned up the kitchen and sat down on the couch and started working on my book. When Maria got to the house after work alittle after noon she wasn't surprised that Clair was asleep. She gathered her up and took her home. I checked on Ali who was still sleeping and I decided to lie down for a while.

I woke up to Ali growling as she did when she was sleepy and trying to wake up. I went to her room and took her downstairs where we snuggled on the couch. I loved sleepy days when she was cuddly! Usually she was running around playing. I took her into the kitchen and fixed her lunch. She ate and then I took her out to her swing set. I pushed her in the swings until she caught sight of the horses. Then she wanted down and made a beeline for Shadow who was leaning through the fence waiting for her. She giggled and squealed as he gently nuzzled her. I snapped a picture and sent it to Jaz. I watered the horses while she loved on the pony and then scooped her up to feed the chickens. I laughed as Shadow snorted in protest and followed us as far as the fence would let him. She played with the chickens while I fed and watered then and then she helped me gather the eggs. She insisted she carry one all the way back to the house.

She was so proud when she got to the house with her egg. She insisted I cook it for her. I scrambled her egg and she proudly ate it. She's so precious! While she ate Jaz called my cell. He chuckled as I told him about Ali and her egg. He told me that one of his classes was only meeting Mondays and Fridays and it was his last class of the day so on Wednesdays he would be home an hour and a half earlier. I was so glad I would see him soon. I missed him. He asked about Ali's night last night. He felt bad that he wasn't home to relieve me so I could have rest. When Ali finished her egg, we hung up. Ali wanted down she was recharged and ready to play. She ran to her kitchen set and played all afternoon I cleaned house and got Essy's favorite peanut butter cookies ready for when she came home. I knew she had a rough morning and hoped that she was a little more secure today.

When Essy came through the door wearing a scowl my heart sank as she stormed up to her room ignoring me completely Edward followed her in with a grim look on his face. Then she stalked down the stairs to the kitchen. I heard a huff of disgust and then she began banging things around.

"She started getting pissy the closer we got to home." he whispered just as Essy stalked out of the kitchen to the stairs carrying a bottle of water.

She turned to face me and snarled, "You do know that I am NOT a baby, right? Stop making cookies for me!" then continued up the stairs. I stood there stunned trying not to take it personally. Dr. Black had warned me that she would most likely lash out and I was the one she was most secure with so I would get the brunt of her anger.

"Bells? Are you ok?" Edward worried.

"I'm fine!" I said.

"She is so angry and I don't know how to fix it." He sighed miserably.

"You two are her safe targets." Dr. Black said as he followed Edward in.

"Jake would like to visit with us." Edward said sinking on to the couch.

"Esme is regressing somewhat. It seems all of the change is making her insecure. She needs someone safe to lash out at and I think it will be you two. Her relationships with both of you are the only ones have stayed the same. She is angry about the change and seems to be insecure about her relationships with Jasper and Harry. She is worried about losing them and doesn't trust them to come back. You are a safe target for her anger because you are the two constants in her life. The thing to remember is that, if she is lashing out at you then she trusts you not to abandon her. It's nothing personal." Dr. Black said after we were all seated in the living room.

"We won't take it personal. Thanks Jake!" Edward said.

"Edward," Essy called from upstairs.

"I'll go talk to her." he smiled sympathetically.

We watched as he ascended the stairs. Then I confided in Jake, "I am worried about this next Dialysis appointment. There won't be any one here with us and she is always so pissed at me all evening after. Usually Jaz is there for her because she won't let me be and she is always so weak and cranky after."

"I will be there to help during the procedure. Edward will be watching Ali so maybe he can help with Essy until she goes to bed." Jake suggested.

"Another thing I wanted to talk to you about is Esme told me that she wished Edward were her dad and that since her dad left that he should take his spot." Jake said.

"She is so angry right now." I said miserably.

"If you need anything call me." Jake said before sweeping out the door.

I played with Ali until Edward and Essy came back down stairs. Edward motioned for me to join them on the couch.

"I am trying to explain to Essy why she is better off here instead of my house." he said sadly.

I inhaled sharply. I felt like I had been kicked in the gut.

"Then you can stay here!" Essy clipped to Edward, "We need someone here! Everyone has left me. I need you here." she finished in a sob.

Edward looked as stunned as I felt.

"Essy, sweetie, I have to stay at my house. There would be no one to take care of Maisey."

"Bring her here! PLEASE! please, Edward!" she sobbed.

"How about I stay until you go to sleep." he said.

"Will you take me to school?" she asked.

"We'll see." he said. She snuggled close to his side and stayed there.

"I'm going to go start supper. I think Em and Rose are going to join us for supper. Gram and Pops already had plans for dinner." I said.

"Good! We don't need Pops anyway!" Essy spat. Edward and I exchanged a worried look as I headed for the kitchen. I started the potato soup, hollowed out the bread bowls.

Rose walked into the kitchen followed be a meek looking Emmett, "Wow! Why is Essy so riled up! Emmett was going to tease her about Daisy and got a death glare for just walking into the room."

I filled them in on all of the events of the day concerning Essy. Rose and Em where in shocked.

"So she is taking all of this out on you?" Rose said softly.

I nodded suddenly feeling weary. Em engulfed me in a huge bear hug, "Bells I am here if you need me!" he told me. It was all I could do to keep it together. I felt a single tear rolling down my cheek and wiped it away quickly. I was exhausted and with all of the crap that was happening I was emotional. I gently broke the hug and ask if he would mind setting the table then handed Rose the left-over Peanut Butter Cookies to take to the table. I needed a couple minutes to compose myself. After the soup was done Emmett carried the pot to the table and I took the bread bowls in. We all sat around the table and ate. Everyone was uncharacteristically quiet this evening all except Ali. She chattered and made her rounds. After supper I started to help Essy clear the table.

"I can do my chores myself! I don't want your help!" she spat at me.

"Essy, you're pushing it. It's ok to be upset but it is not ok to take it out on everyone." I said.

"You could have made them stay! But you chose not to!" she spat as she stomped around the table gathering dishes.

I let it go for now and walked out of the room. Edward stood frozen outside the door, "That's not fair." he said gently as I walked on by. I needed to go calm down before I dealt with her, bursting into tears wouldn't help anything. I walked in to the living room and scooped up my Ali girl. I took her to the bathroom and started her bath. She babbled and splashed happily. She was so carefree so I played with her until my heart felt lighter too. I dressed her in her favorite pajamas and we went back down stairs just in time for Jaz to skype with the girls. I sat Ali down by the screen and she started chattering to Jaz. I called for Essy and she stormed outside. I followed her and she sat in the rocking chair stubbornly.

"I don't want to talk to _him_" she spat.

"Essy, he loves you. He won't get to see you tonight if you don't talk to him." I said softly.

"I don't care! He left me!" she growled.

"Essy," I started but then thought better of it. "Ok, I guess you will talk to him tomorrow when he comes home."

"I don't want him to come back." she said then stood and walked out to the fence to pet the horses. I sighed and went back in to the house. Edward was holding Ali while Jaz read her a bedtime story. After Ali fell asleep Edward took her to bed and I took the computer into the dining room and closed myself in.

"Where's Essy?" he questioned.

"Being stubborn! She has been very emotional today." I said, "She says she doesn't want to talk." I filled him in on Essy's break down before supper but left out our conversation on the porch.

Jaz looked stricken, "I knew this would be hard but not this hard. I don't know if I can do this!"

"It will take some time to adjust. Give it awhile! Just remember why you are there! I know it's hard but it will be worth it in the end." I reassured him.

"I just hate that she's so upset. If she doesn't want to see Pops will she want to see me?" he worried.

"I am sure tomorrow will be better. When she sees that you come back when you say you will I think she will calm down. It's just going to take time." I said trying to comfort him. He looked so sad and all I wanted to do was hold him.

"Darlin' I need to go for now but I will call you later! I love you." and then he was gone. I had heard him voice crack and saw the tears welling up in his eyes and it just killed me to know that he had most likely broken down in to tears. Tears burned my eyes as I fought to reign in my emotions. I sat there taking deep breaths and thinking over my list of things I had to do tomorrow. I finally go it together and went to help Essy get ready for bed. Em and Rose sat on the couch waiting for me.

"Edward is outside with Esme. She's in his car. She told him that she is going with him weather he likes it or not." Emmett said.

"It just keeps getting better." I sighed and went to help Edward.

"Bells I don't know what to do! She won't get out. She asked me to stay the night and I told her I couldn't. She threw a fit and got into my car." he said.

"If we give in to Esme's demands and you stay then she will pull this all of the time. Here take my truck!" I said handing him my keys.

"She said she would run away if I left her." he said miserably.

"You can't give in to her. She is trying to blackmail you into staying! I know it is rough but you have to go head and go." I said.

"Call if you need me. I will come by tomorrow to take her to school." he said.

"I think it would be best if I took her." I said, "I will drop your car by to you after I drop Essy off at school."

Edward looked panicky, "Ok" he groaned.

He handed me his keys and then left. Emmett and I stood on either side of the car blocking Esme from getting out until after Edward left. It broke my heart to see her screaming for him and begging him not to leave her. She fought hard to get out then when he was out of sight she crumpled into a heap of sobs. She still refused to get out. Emmett scooped her up and carried her as if she were a tiny child up to her room and laid her on her bed before leaving. I followed them upstairs and as soon as Emmett closed the door I helped a still whimpering Esme to get ready for bed.

"Everyone always leaves me." she whimpered.

"Hon, Edward had to go home to take care of Maisey. No one has left you." I said.

"Dad has!" she insisted.

"Your dad will be home tomorrow evening. He is going to school to build a better life for us. Essy, he loves you, Ali and me and he will always come home to us. Do you know he misses you just as much as you miss him?" I tried to sooth.

"I don't know." Esme said softly.

"He hates being away from us." I said.

"Is he mad at me for not talking to him?" she asked tearfully.

"He's not mad Essy. He was sad that you wouldn't talk to him. He loves you and hates that this is so hard on you." I said.

"Is it too late to call him?" she asked shakily.

"No. If you want to talk to him I can call him right now." I said dialing his number.

"Hey Darlin' How is everyone?" he asked dejected.

"Better. Essy wants to talk to you." I told him.

"Really! Great! Put her on!" he said excitedly.

I handed Essy the phone and checked to make sure her window was still locked and the alarm that would alert me to it opening was still in place. After I was satisfied that that I would be alerted to a runaway attempt I took Esme's hamper to the laundry room to give her some privacy. Ten minutes later the land line phone rang. When I answered it Jaz was on the other end.

"I sang her to sleep. Go get your phone and I call me back." he said.

"Alright! Love ya!" I said.

"Love you too. Talk to you on a minute!" he said.

I replaced the receiver and made my way to Essy's room and slid my phone out from under her hand. I covered her up and headed down stairs. I called Jaz back and I told him about the whole Edward/Essy exchange and then we talked for a few minutes before he told me to get some sleep and he would see me tomorrow. I locked the door, went up stairs, set my alarm and climbed into bed.

I woke up Wednesday morning to my alarm and hurried down stairs to open the door for Maria and Clair in. I unlocked the door and turned on the porch light and sat down on the couch to wait.

When Maria came in she seemed irritated, "Is Edward here?" she asked.

"No. He has my truck." I said.

"Oh." she took Clair up to the spare room. When she came down I told her that whole story. She was dumbfounded.

"Bella, I owe you an apology! Edward told me that he wasn't ready to get into a relationship and admitted that he was still hung up on you. Yesterday afternoon when I called him. I was hurt because I really like him. When I saw his car here this morning I jumped to conclusions that I shouldn't have." she said, "I should have realized that you would never cheat on Jaz. I am so sorry!"

"It's not a big deal! Edward does care for you! He just doesn't want to rush into a relationship before he's ready and risk hurting you." I told her.

"I-I didn't know." she stammered.

"I am going to tell you something and it's just between you and me. Edward doesn't think he deserves to be happy because of the way our relationship ended. He is very hard on himself." I told her.

"Wow! I had no idea. Thanks for your insight." she smiled.

"Oh before I forget, I need Clair's car seat. I am going to take Esme to her school and swap vehicles with Edward."

"Ok. I'll stick it in Edward's car." she said as she waved bye.

I locked the door and checked on Clair who was sound asleep with a scowl on her face. Next I looked in on Ali who was sprawled out in her bed with a slight grin on her face. The last door I opened was Esme's fear gripped me as I looked around the room and found no one. I flew to her window to find it locked up tight. I checked the bathroom no Esme, I ran down stairs and checked all of the doors and windows where locked. I ran back to my bedroom to grab m phone. How could I have lost her? I grabbed my phone and dialed Edward and just before I hit send I saw her curled around Jaz's pillow sleeping soundly. I took a deep breath and headed down stairs my adrenalin rush would make it impossible to sleep now. I fixed some coffee and started working on my book on the porch swing as the new day was born I put the finishing touches on my book and sent it to Kate. She would be thrilled that I had finished my book three weeks before the deadline. I laid my computer aside as my truck come down the drive. Edward walked onto the porch and sat down in the rocker.

"How is she?" he asked exhausted.

"She's ok! She and I had a chance to talk after everyone left. She ended up talking to Jaz too. She's looking forward to Jaz coming home this evening." I said.

"Can I pick her up from school? I heard her begging me not to go last night and I almost couldn't do it." he said the pain bleeding through his tone.

"If you want to you can take her to school this morning." I offered.

"Really? If you don't mind I would ready appreciate it! Thanks Bells." he said. I lead him into the kitchen and poured him some coffee. I fried some eggs and a few slices of bacon. He made toast and we sat at the table and ate. We chatted like old friends. I talked to him about Jaz and he told me about Maria. We laughed and talked until we heard movement upstairs. I excused myself to get the girls up. Esme was in the shower and Ali was awake so I took her with me downstairs and passed her off to Edward and went to check of Clair. I scooped a grumpy little girl out of bed and took her to the table. She grouched and growled as she ate her breakfast.

Edward took Essy to school and I took the girls outside to play on the swing set. They squealed in delight as I pushed the swings. They were entertained for an hour and a half where Clair wanted down. I let her down and continued pushing Ali while keeping a careful eye on Clair. I smiled as she toddled over to my flower bed, plopped down in the middle of it, and began smelling flowers. Ali took notice and it wasn't to long before she wanted down and joined Clair. I took a few pictures of the girls swelling flowers. Ali picked an aging Shasta Daisy and toddled over to me, handing me the yellowing flower. My heart melted at the sweet little grin on her face as I took the flower from her. The next ten minutes Clair and Ali picked and handed me every remaining flowers in the flower bed. I smiled at the sentiment then lovingly shepherded the girls in to the house to wash up for lunch. The girls ate their macaroni and cheese at the coffee table and then went to play with the kitchen set while I cleaned up lunch.

I had just finished the lunch dished when Maria came in and I showed her the pictures of the girls. We watched the girls play for about 15 minutes before Clair realized that Maria was there. She then squealed and ran to her mom. When she was preparing to leave I realized Edward had her car seat. I explained the situation and told Maria to take Ali's and we would swap back tomorrow.

After Maria had gone I put an exhausted Ali down for a nap. Then I cleaned house and got things ready for Jaz to come home. I started supper which would be a huge family meal with everyone here.

Edward and Esme came into the kitchen just as I was pulling out the bread bowls and she squealed and hugged my tight. She loved the broccoli and cheddar soup that I always put in these. I sat the baking dish down and hugged her back. She grabbed some plates and set the table. I had everything sitting on the table and everyone was there waiting on Jaz to get home. When Esme heard him she scooped up Ali and raced outside to meet him. I could hear him chuckle and then he came carrying Ali and hugging Esme. Everyone said their hellos and then Jaz come to me. He handed Ali off and Esme stood beside him as he pulled me into a hug and kissed me softly. "I missed you! I can't wait til tonight when we are alone!" he murmured into my ear. I kisses him softly and then we went to eat. Esme told him all about her day and as we ate and Ali insisted on sitting on her daddy's lap. She babbled on and on to him as well. Everyone visited until 8 when Jaz told everyone that it was good to see them but now it was family time. Everyone except Victoria was ok with leaving. She was a little put out at being told politely to go. She tried to act ok but the tears she tried to hide told me otherwise. I was just glad Jaz didn't see her.

After everyone was gone Jaz sat in the living room with the girls and read them stories and listened to their antics while I quickly loaded everything into the dishwasher and cleaned up supper. When I joined them Ali was asleep in Jaz's arms and Esme was leaned into him almost asleep. I scooped Ali up and took her to bed while Jaz walked Essy to her room. They visited for several minutes before they said goodnight. I had gathered the dirty laundry and started a load. When I turned I saw Jaz leaning in the door way with a lazy grin on his face.

"Hi," I said. I grinned as he swept me into his arms and carried me up to bed. I had missed being in his arms I didn't realize how much until now. We lay across the bed holding each other. I felt so warm and safe that I could feel sleep overtaking me. I tried to fight in but lost.

The next thing I remembered was my alarm going off signalling me to get up and go let Maria and Clair in. I wiggled out of Jaz's arms and quietly made my way to the bathroom. When I came down stairs the house was filled with the heavenly aroma of coffee and my sexy cowboy was sitting on the porch swing. I giggled at the sight. He wasn't fully awake yet. I stepped out on the porch and he absently handed me a cup of coffee.

"Babe, you do realize it is 3:30 and as soon as I get Clair laid down I am going back to bed, right?" I asked.

"Huh? Its 3? Ok. he said walking back past me, kissing my cheek on the way by, and heading back up to bed.  
>I chuckled at the sight of him wobbling up the stairs half asleep. I picked up the coffee cups and took them to the kitchen. As I was headed out of the kitchen I heard Maria come in and head upstairs to lay Clair down. I waited for her to come back down. She came down chuckling.<p>

"What?" I asked.

"Jasper is laying in Ali's floor beside her bed holding her hand. It's so cute." She said.

I smiled, "He loves her so much."

"I can tell!" she said before she said good-bye and left.

I walked into Ali's room and woke Jaz, "Babe, come to bed." I told him. He groggily followed me to the bedroom and flopped into bed asleep almost before his head hit the pillow. I smiled as his arm snaked out and pulled me to him. I snuggled into him and fell asleep.

At six we were awakened by the alarm and Jaz was wide awake this time. We went down stairs to the kitchen and fixed fresh cups of coffee. He chuckled as I told him about his 3 o'clock morning. We where sitting on the porch drinking our coffee when Victoria pulled up. She bounced up and ask Jaz to go eat breakfast with her. She made sure to add just you and me. I got up and walked into the house leaving Jaz and his mother to talk. I couldn't believe she was asking him to give up his time with the girls to go spend 1 on 1 time with her. I understand that she missed him but the girls needed him and they didn't get to see him very often.

About 5 minutes later I heard, Victoria cry, "Fine!"

"Mom, please I want to spend as much time with Bella and the girls as I can before I have to go back. You are welcome to join us for breakfast." Jaz pleaded sadly, "It's not that I didn't miss everyone else it's just that you all don't live with me so I am not use to seeing you all on a daily basis. I miss so much when I am away. I miss hearing Ali giggle in the tub when she splashes me on purpose, I miss getting to tuck the girls in at every night, and I miss falling asleep with my wife in my arms. I couldn't sleep while I was away because I missed them. I do want to spend time with you too but I need to be here."

There was a low mumble then Jaz said, "Well, I'm sorry you feel that way but I am staying here."

When he came into the kitchen he looked so defeated. At that moment I could have ripped Victoria's head off. How dare she make him feel bad for spending time with his girls and I. I put my arms around him and gave him a comforting hug.

"I just wish she understood." Jaz groaned.

I started breakfast and Jaz went to wake the girls. By the time they came down I had fluffy blueberry pancakes, southwestern style scrambled eggs and bacon. We sat and ate breakfast laughing at the story of Jaz getting stuck in an elevator at school. He was telling the story so animatedly that Essy was about to fall out of her chair laughing. We kept visiting as the clock ticked off the last few precious seconds we had together before Jaz had to go but It was only for one night then he would be home Friday. I was still worried about Essy's dialysis appointment this afternoon. When Jaz left to take Essy to school and then head back to school Ali and I headed for the couch. It was earlier then she was use to getting up this early. She lay on the couch with a dazed stare trying not to fall asleep. I checked my email and smiled when I saw an email from Kate. When I read it I was soaring. My bully book was on a fast track to being printed and top Psychologist Irina Denali, a cousin of Kate's wanted to get quotes from my book to use in a lecture she was giving. She also wanted to meet with me and possibly promote my book. The only thing is that I would have to commit to go with her on a three day weekend book signing tour. I had to think on that. I called Jaz to visit about it.

"Hey, Darlin'. Missin' me already?" Jaz answered.

"Always!" I replied.

"What's up?" he asked.

"Well, I got an email from Kate this morning. Her cousin is the top psychologist in the state and she wants to promote my bully book." I said, "The thing is if she's going to promote me then I have to commit to a three day weekend book signing tour next month. I just don't know if we can swing it."

"Babe, do it! This is a once in a life time opportunity!" he said firmly.

"but the girls and..." I started.

"Bella! You said it was on a weekend. I will take a Friday off of school and we will all go. That way we will be able to spend time with each other. It's your turn to get to live your dream." Jaz said.

"Jaz, this was never me dream!" I said.

"Would this even be an issue if you didn't have Essy and Ali?" he asked. I wanted to argue that it would but I knew it wouldn't have been.

"That's not the point Jaz!" I said.

"We will be there with you. So it's not an issue. When are we going?" he asked ending the arguing.

"I'm not sure. I haven't got the details yet. Jaz are you sure?" I asked.

"Yes! This is a chance for you to be recognized." he said, "Now get off of the phone with me and call Kate and get the details because we need to be making plans. Good bye Darlin' Call me back with details! I love you!" and then he hung up on me.

I grinned and called Kate.

"Kate Denali."

"Hey Kate. I got you're email." I said.

"Wow Bells I didn't expect you to call so quickly! I figured you would still be talking to Jaz." she said.

"Well he kind of told me that I was doing it. He's going to take off and he and the girls are coming with me." I said.

"Wow! That's great! Bells, I wish you would reconsider writing a biography. You and Jaz are saints! I would read that book and I already know the story!" she said.

"I'm just not sure I want to relive everything, you know?" I said.

"I understand that." Kate said, "I will call Irena and set up a meeting. I figure it would work better for us to come to you since you have so much on your plate."

"That would actually be great!" I said.

When We hung up it was nine and time to go wake Clair up and feed her breakfast. I chuckled at the sight of Ali fast asleep on the couch. I went up stairs to get Clair. She was still sleeping. I scooped her up and started waking her up. Little miss Clair groaned and squeezed her eyes shut tight. I carried her down stairs and sat on the couch with her. I tried to no avail to get Clair to wake up. I sat and held her for another ten minutes before trying again. She growled and groaned and angrily opened her eyes to see how had woken her up. Then crawled off my lap onto the couch. She then curled up behind Ali and closed her eyes again. I heard a soft chuckle from the door and looked up to see a very dirty, sweaty Edward and a perky, happy Maisey bouncing around his feet.

"What happened to you I said as I opened the screen door.

"I was going to come by early to see if I could catch Jaz before he left but my car broke down. So I ran the rest on the was and still missed him." Edward said sounding a little disappointed.

"Jaz's schedule changed. His study group is meeting in the mornings so he gets home earlier now but he has to leaves earlier in the mornings." I told him. Then headed for the laundry room to get him something to change it to because there was no way he was going to sit on my couch as filthy as he was. He followed me into the doorway of the laundry room and chuckled as I handed him a towel and a pair of Jaz's jeans and a shirt.

"So I am banished to the bathroom, huh?" he asked.

"Until you are clean!" I giggled then pointed toward the downstairs bathroom.

"Alright, alright! I'm going!" he said in mock surrender.

I coaxed Clair to eat some breakfast and woke Ali again. She cheerfully ate a little snack and babbled happily. After the girls ate I took them outside to play. Claire was a little slower to play then Ali but she slowly warmed to the idea of being awake. Soon both girls were running all over the yard squealing and playing. I sat in a swing on the swing set a watched the girls play. The bang of my screen door caught my attention and I looked up to see Edward step onto the porch. I noted that Jaz's jeans jeans were a couple inches too long and the shirt that hugged Jasper's biceps sort of just hung on Edward's.I smirked at the thought of Jaz's body and had to rein in my thoughts.

"Like something you see." Edward teased.

"I was just noting how much bigger your brothers muscles are then yours." I picked back.

"Ouch!" Edward chuckled, "That one stung alittle."

I knew there was a little more truth to his statement than he was letting on. I felt a pang of guilt for my statement but I also knew I couldn't let him flirt with me either. I knew he still had feelings for me because he had told me. I needed him to move on. If We could just go our separate ways it would have been easier but with him being my brother-in-law and his mother and sister/niece living with me we were so closely intertwined that it was impossible not to see him several times a week. Since he picked up Essy for school and brought her home alot. He watched Ali while I took Essy to dialysis and just came to visit the girls regularly.

"Jaz will be back about 3:30 tomorrow." I told him, "Or you could call him."

"That's alright. I just was missin' having family." he said, "I just wanted to visit with my brother for a few minutes."

"and you ran all the way here just to see him." I said watching Gram's car pull up the driveway. I internally braced for the show down that was bound to follow.

"Yeah, wow that sounds so stupid hearing it out loud." he said.

"No it doesn't. We all miss Jaz." I insisted.

"Well, don't you two look cozy. I wonder what my boy would think of this? Did he give you permission to have company?" Gram said venom lacing every word. She was still pissed about this morning and was out to spread some misery around.

"I don't need permission to have company over in my own home. And I don't appreciate your implications!" I growled at her, "and I would advise you to either keep a civil tongue in your head or leave! You will be polite in my home!"

"Well, I can see where I am not wanted! MY SON will hear about this! I'm sure he won't be happy about his own mother being thrown off his place!" She sniped turning on a heel and storming back to her car.

I sat there dumbfounded, stunned by my mother-in-laws actions! What had just happened? Why was she all of a sudden being so cold and hateful? What was I going to tell Jaz? What if he didn't understand? I was in full-blown panic mode. I was pulled from my thoughts when I heard Edward talking on the phone.

"Hey Jaz!" he was saying, "Just calling to give you a heads you! Your mother was here and was less then cordial with Bella." there was a pause I could hear Jaz's raised voice and knew he was upset but I couldn't make out what he was saying, "Well she insinuated that there was something going on between she and I, then she asked if she had your permission to have company," 'What' came a yelled response through the phone Edward paused listening and then said. "She told her that! Well, she was alot nicer then the way you just did." there was a brief pause then Edward chuckled, "She told her that she had to keep a civil tongue in her head or leave and I thought your mom was going to stoke out! she turned bright red and then told Bells that her son would hear about how she was thrown off the place." there was another pause and I could see the darkness creeping into the corners of my vision and realized I was going to blackout. I laid back in the grass and then I was out. I was vaguely aware of Edward beside me calling my name. I finally was able to get my bearings and become fully aware. When I did I realized Jaz was on speaker phone and was as frantic as Edward.

"Jaz?" I croaked.

"Darlin' are you alright? I turned around sweetheart I am coming home." He said his voice very near panic.

"No, Jaz! Go to school. The sooner you get through it the sooner we don't have to keep saying good-bye." I said weakly.

"Edward?" he said.

"I'm here."

"See if you can fine someone to watch Ali so you can go with Bells to Essy's appointment then I will go to school but I don't want her alone. Can you stay with her until I get home tomorrow? If you can't I am coming home!" he said firmly.

Edward said promised not to leave my side and hung up the phone then started dialing as my phone rang. I answered it and it was Jaz.

"Hey! Are you ok?"

"Jaz I am fine, I just let her get to me! Really, I'm fine. I don't need a babysitter!" I insisted.

"I know you don't but I am worried about you. If I am going to be able to get through today at school I need the assurance that you have someone with you just in case you are not fine." he said softly.

I heard him saying Hello to Maria and I was irritated when he gave me a worried glance and then gave me a thumbs up. I scowled at him and turned my attention back to Jaz. I sighed.

Jaz chuckled,"Bella, I know, I am being over protective but I just can't help but worry!"

I knew why he worried so much. He had lost so many people in his life he was terrified of losing someone her loved. "I understand Jaz." I said.

"Edward wants to talk to you" I said as I put the phone it to Edward's waiting hand.

I went into the house to clean up. I felt queasy still and a little light headed so I sat down on the couch. Edward brought the girls in and noticed me.

"Are you ok? You're kinda looking Green." he said concerned.

"I'm fine!" I growled trying to sound irritated. There is no way I couldn't tell him that I was dizzy it would scare him after what had happened.

"Ok! Well, Maria is coming to watch the girls and then Jaz has called Dr. Call and talked to him about the situation. He wants to see you right after we get Essy settled." he said seeing the scowl on my face he continued, "Bells? We are all worried about you. I will never forgive myself for what I have done to you." he finished softly and I could hear the pain in his tone.

"Edward, I am fine! I'm sure this is totally unrelated to my accident." I said. I seeing the skeptical look I decided to behave. I could see Edward that he felt like this was his fault and I didn't want to make him feel worse. then he already did!

"We will let Dr Call be the judge of that!" he said.

"I can't believe the he called my Doctor!" I said.

"If he hadn't have then I would have!" Edward said firmly looking me squarely in the eye.

Maria pulled up and came straight into the house. She sat down beside me and started checking me over. Edward excused himself and stepped out on to the porch.

"How are you feeling, now?" she asked.

"I'm fine" I said weakly.

"Cut the crap, Bella! What are your symptoms." she said firmly.

"I'm a little light headed but other then that I am fine." I confided.

Soon It was time to go and I started to get you and apparently blacked out again because the next thing I know I am in Edward's arms and he is carrying my to his car. Edward gentle sat me into the car and drove me straight to the hospital where Dr Call was waiting.

"But Essy!" I said.

"I have spoken with Dr. Black and he is bringing her." Dr Call said.

"Jaz is on his way back too." Edward said gently.

"What? Why would you do that?" I roared and then regretted it because my head was pounding again.

"Bells, I panicked! I couldn't wake you up. Maria had to calm me down. I called Jaz and told him to get back here." he said.

I grabbed my phone and dialed Jaz who was panicked, "Hello?" he said in a shaky voice.

"Hey!" I said.

"Bella, thank God! Were are you? You had better be at the hospital."

"Jaz, I am at the hospital. Your brother is sitting here watching me like a hawk. I'm ok. Just calm down and get here in one piece. I love you. " I said.

"I love you too! Let me talk to my brother." he said. I put it on speaker and handed in to Edward who was too upset to notice.

"Edward?"

"Hey, Jaz!"

"Keep your eyes on her! I am about 15 minutes from town. I headed back the first time but don't tell her that." Jaz said.

"Too late Jaz you are on speaker!" I growled in annoyance.

"Uh- I was worried about you! I was just going to see for myself that you alright and then I was going to head back." he admitted.

"Just get here!" I said as a tear slid down my face.

Edward wiped it away as Jaz said he would see me soon. I was feeling light headed again. It seemed when I got mad or irritated is when this started to happen. I hung up with Jaz and turned to Edward, "Can you get me a nurse to take me to the bathroom?" he nodded and popped his head out of the curtain an summoned a nurse. Then stepped out.

"I am feeling a little bit lightheaded. I really don't have to go to the restroom I just didn't want Edward to hear." I told her.

" He does seem pretty intense." She flipped through my chart and gasped, " I didn't know you married Jasper."

"Yeah! It was a private ceremony a couple months ago." I said.

"I will let your doctor know." she said as Jasper rushed in.

"Hey Darlin' " he said, "How are you?" he put his arms around me and held me tight. I fought hard not to cry but the tears came along with the dark rings around my vision again. then everything went black. I could hear the commotion around me after I went limp in Jaz's arms. I could hear Jaz yelling and then someone laid me back. I felt what must have been a needle bite into my skin at my inner elbow. I could hear someone barking orders. I started to come to and Dr Call told me to "Stay down." Jaz was back by my side holding my hand.

"Essy?" I reminded him.

"She's fine! Edward's got her. He and Dr. Black are with her. She knows that you are with her doctor. she said it was ok." he smiled. "Dr. Black said she told him about a dream she had were you and Edward and I were her kids. Then asked if the dreams where memories."

"What did he tell her?" I said.

"The truth. That they were memories." he said.

"She knows?" I asked, "Oh God! How is she? Jaz, I have to see her?"

"Bella, you need to calm down. Your blood pressure is spiking and you are in danger of losing consciousness again." Dr Call warned glaring at Jaz.

"Babe, she's ok. She is visiting with Edward now. She knows he is her son." Jaz said.

"She was very calm when the nurse started the dialysis treatment and no one had to restrain her. Now calm down!" Dr Call said, "I am ordering a head CT but first we need a routine UA to make sure you are not pregnant." I chuckled at that. I wasn't pregnant.

I gave the necessary sample and then longed on the bed waiting for my CT. Dr Call came in and sat on the chair at the foot of my bed.

"Bella, you are pregnant!" he said.

"What?" I said and then leaned back against Jaz's chest.

"Bella, you seem to have hypertension. I am going to start you on blood pressure medication. As soon as that kicks in you may go see Esme." Dr Call said.

"A baby!" Jaz whispered reverently into my hair as his hands started caressing my lower stomach.

"yeah." I asked shakily.

"Bella, are you ok with all of this?" he asked. I could hear the worry in his voice.

"I'm happy, Jaz! I just wasn't expecting this! We had planned to wait for awhile." I told him and I was happy but I just couldn't see how I was going to be able to handle all of this.

"It'll be alright! We will work through this." he said, "We could hire someone to take care of the farm and then I could rent a place near campus and you and the girls could come with me."

"Jaz, I would love nothing more then to do that but it's just not possible! Esme's treatments, her school and Dr Black. She is making so much progress. We can't just uproot her and I will not leave her behind." I said rationally.

"I know." He said sadly.

The doctor came in and gave me my blood pressure medication and instructions on how and when to take it. We sat there for the fifteen minutes that he said it would take to kick in and then we headed up to see Esme. Edward was pacing the hall.

"Edward, what's wrong?" Jaz said.

"She remembers us. Well, Kind of everything! She doesn't remember having Ali. She asked about Carlisle and where he was. Dr. Black and I explained what happened. She is heartbroken. Dr. Black did tell her about Ali and that you all adopted Ali." He said.

Tears burned my eyes. I couldn't imagine what Esme must be feeling finding out about what had happened to her. I sunk into a chair and put my head in my hands. Jaz was at my side immediately.

"You ok?" he murmured. I nodded.

"Oh, hey, did they find out what was wrong with you?" Edward asked kneeling in front of me.

"My blood pressure, Dr. Call put me of medication." I said not ready to share the news with anyone yet.

"Oh." He said.

"Ok, guys!" Dr. Black said taking a seat next to me, "She's ready to see you all. I trust Edward has filled you in." We all nodded, "She has asked to see Bella alone first. She feels she owes Bella a debt of gratitude for all of the care she has given her."

I rose and crossed the hall to Esme's room. I paused momentarily before I knocked.

"Come in." came Esme's voice. It no longer sounded childlike.

I opened the door and stepped into the room to find her sitting in the bed waiting for me. I started to take the chair beside her bed but she reached for me.

"Come here, Bella! I can't thank you enough!" She started.

"Esme," I breathed, "I…" tears burned my eyes and she pulled me into a motherly hug that I had craved for so long. I had missed her.

"Shhh! Sweetheart! You have done so much for me." She began and I started to sob, "You and Jaz rescued Ali and then you all rescued me. Then when it would have been totally understandable to place me in the mental hospital. Edward said you refused and took me into your home. I remember all the care and time you have spent with me. You are a wonderful person. I am so lucky to have you as a daughter-in-law. Thank you!"

"Esme, I can't even begin to imagine what this must be like for you!" I choked out.

"You did what was best for all of us. You sacrificed a lot." She said.

"I was afraid you would hate me." I said.

"How could I hate you?" she asked.

"I adopted Ali. She calls me momma and Jaz dada." I said, "And part of me is terrified of what will happen next." I said.

"Bella, I don't remember having her. I love her but she is your daughter and I can see myself spoiling her as any grandmother would." She said, "Also, I really don't want to go to that school anymore. Today was frustrating."

"Whatever you want the only reason you were only going there is for your occupational therapy and counseling with Dr. Black. You really liked it so we let you stay all day." I said wondering what in the world was next.

**(Esme's memory is back to stay! I know in real life it would come back over time and that was the plan but as I have said before the stories kind of twist on me and even I am surprised at the end!) **

I motioned Jaz and Edward into the room and Edward rushed to his mother's side, Jaz was concerned that I had been crying.

"What happened Darlin'? Is everything alright?" Jaz whispered.

"I just missed her! She's back. It's so good to have her back." I said softly then took Jaz's hand and walked over to his mother.

"Mom!" Jaz said walking over to the bed.

"Jasper." She cried as she hugged her boys.

I sat in the chair I felt a little vertigo but at least I hadn't blacked out. After Esme's treatment we all headed back home to find an angry mob waiting for us consisting of Dad, Pops, Rose, and Emmett. Victoria was in the house playing with Ali.

"Why didn't you call me?" dad growled.

"It was just my blood pressure. I got angry today and it spiked causing me to black out. Edward over reacted and so did Jaz." I said.

"You're blood pressure?" Dad turned white as a sheet then softly in a terrified voice, "Are you pregnant?"

"She is. Dr. Call put her on medication and she is doing fine now." Jaz beamed not thinking of the rest of the crowd.

Everyone was talking at once until dad said, "You're mother had trouble with her blood pressure when she was pregnant with you. A spike in her blood pressure is what caused the stroke that killed her. Bells, What if…" Dad looked so terrified.

"Dad, Dr. Call is going to be my doctor. He will be keeping a close eye of my blood pressure." I assured him. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Everyone was staring at me like I might disappear. I looked at each ones face. Pops was a mirror of my father's face. Emmett looked concerned. Rose had tears in her eyes torn between being happy for me and terrified for my health. Edward looked as if he might throw-up. Esme was a mixture of Emmett and Rose. Jaz held me tight looking a little afraid.

"I will be fine! Dr. Call is aware of my birth record and will keep a close eye on me." I said.

I was relieved when the screen door banged closed behind Victoria and Ali . Ali ran to me shouting "momma" and I scooped her up.

"You're pregnant?" She asked, "I'm going to get to spoil another one."

"YOU, IN THE HOUSE NOW!" Jaz growled.

She looked stunned, "Jaz!" She chided.

That was the wrong thing to do because Jaz exploded. "What in the hell do you think you are doing?"

"What?" she said confused.

"You come over here and were very hateful to her. You caused her blood pressure to spike in the first place. You aren't allowed here alone anymore unless I am here! I won't have you upsetting my wife. You will call me before you set foot on this property again! Are we clear?" Jaz growled at her. Then he turned to everyone else, "I think it is time for everyone who doesn't live here except my brother to go. Bella is tired and I want her to relax." He said as he ushered me into the house. Ali and I curled up in the oversized chair. Esme and her boys sat on the couch. Ali grew restless and wondered over to Esme and wanted her attention. Esme beamed at the baby girl and scooped her up. I must have fallen asleep because I woke up in bed and I could hear the TV on down stairs. I looked at the clock it was eight thirty. I checked on Ali who was sleeping soundly and I made my way downstairs. Edward and Esme where hanging out on the couch.

"I heated up a lasagna and garlic bread." Esme said, "Do you want me to fix you a plate?"

"No, I got it. Where is Jaz?" I asked as she followed me to the kitchen.

"Ah…He had something he needed to deal with." She said.

'Victoria?" I asked.

"Ah…I…ah…" she stammered.

"It's ok, Esme! I'm not going to get upset." I coaxed.

"Yeah." She said.

I fixed my plate and headed into the living room. I ate and we watched "Wild Hearts can't be Broken" I kept an eye on the driveway. When I went to put my plate up Edward followed me.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"I'm alright. How long…" I started

"Has Jaz been gone? A couple hours. He is scared of loosin' you." He said.

"Blood pressure huh?" he said.

"It was the truth!" I defended.

"A partial truth! You two are always blindsiding me." He said.

"Edward, I'm sorry! I knew it would be a sensitive subject and I wanted to tell you privately." I began.

"It's ok. You don't have to worry about me. I'm ok with it. I understand why you were against having a baby with me. I didn't want a baby for the right reasons. I wanted a baby because I thought it would fix our marriage." He said.

We went back into the living room and finished the movie and then Esme said good night. Edward and I sat talking until Jaz came home and then I watched as the guys moved the port-a-crib into Ali's room. I was just about to ask why why Edward said good night and headed into the guest room. Jaz lead me back down stairs and we sat on the couch.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Edward and I have been visiting tonight and he asked if he could be near mom. She doesn't want to leave you and Ali and so I told him to just stay here for awhile." Jaz said.

"Oh, ok!" I said.

"Bella are you comfortable with that?" he said looking worried.

"It's fine I am just imagining the hovering that Edward will do." I said.

"I can tell him no." he said.

"No, Jaz it's fine. We will make all of this work. Esme doesn't want to go back to the school so she will keep Edward busy. Maybe I can send off a email to Kate and start writing my next book." I said, "Or maybe I can just sit on the porch swing and relax!"

"That sounds good." he smiled, "I have to go back now! I will see you tomorrow! Edward has instructions to under no circumstances allow my mother here. In fact I ask everyone to stay away until tomorrow evening. I invited everyone to a weenie roast . We will discuss anything they wish then as long as they are respectful."

"Ok! Have a good night babe!" I said.

He kissed me softly and left. I retreated to my bedroom and fell asleep.

The next day was sorta fun. Edward took us all to the bottom if the trail where I had cut all of the limbs and her and Esme started stacking them in a big pile. I was only allowed to sit and watch them. Ali toddled around picking flowers and bringing them to the three of us. I had a feeling I was going to get really tired of being treated like a porcelain doll. I called Dr. Call and made an appointment or first thing in the morning.

****************************FRIDAY ****************************

I had snuck off the farm early before anyone had awakened and headed to the doctor's office. I was determined to see for myself what was and wasn't safe for me to do. I was called back to a room almost immediately. Dr. Call came in chuckling.

"So you ditched your bodyguards, I see!" he chortled.

"Yes, I did! Do you have any idea how annoying those two can be?" I ranted causing him to erupt in laughter.

"I do know how protective that they can be." he said recovering.

"I want to know what is safe and what is not safe for me. Specifically riding. My horse is very calm and gentle! I don't plan on doing anything but walking. I also love to walk the trails around the house. Yesterday was awful! I wasn't allowed to do anything but sit. I can't live like that. I am active and I would like to remain as such." I asked

"All of that is acceptable. Eventually you won't be able to ride anymore but for the 1st and 2nd trimesters it is fine!" Dr Call confirmed.

I left the doctor's office armed with a written letter from Dr Call telling me what I could and couldn't do. When I got home Edward was pacing the porch, waiting for me.

"Why didn't you wake me? I didn't know you had an appointment." he ranted.

I was in no mood for a lecture so I cut him off and told him, "Edward, I am a big girl and perfectly capable of taking care of myself! I went to see Dr Call to see what was safe to do. I won't do anything that is unsafe but you will NOT hover. I will do things for myself and you will NOT argue! Why don't you take Ali and your mom out for the day!"

"I...ah..." he stammered.

"None of that was a request! Now go!" I barked feeling slightly guilty at seeing his face. He turned to go and slowly walked away.

I enjoyed the day. I rode Diesel on the trails. There was a trail that led further on from the small pool that Jaz and I found so I rode on. I was amazed to find a large hay meadow 1 ½ times the size of the meadow we baled. I had ridden for hours and finally decided to head home. After taking care of Diesel I went to the house to eat lunch. I took a nap then sat on the porch swings. I was still sitting on the porch swing enjoying the cool breeze and the peace and quiet of being alone when I saw her car heading you the driveway. I sighed and braced for the onslaught that was to come. I waited while she parked and stepped out her face uncertain. Bree cautiously approached me like you would a nervous animal. I saw Jaz and Rylie step out of the car and head my way. Bree sat quietly in the rocking chair not really knowing what to say. Rylie on the other hand pulled me into a bear hug.

"So I'm gona be kind of an uncle again soon!" he laughed.

I couldn't help but laugh with him. His joy set the tone for Bree and she smiled. "Congratulations!" she said still a bit worried.

"Bree, is something wrong?" I asked her.

She burst into tears and then hugged me, "I am so sorry about mom."

"Hey, you aren't responsible for her actions." I soothed.

"Bree, you're going to be an aunt to two babies." Rylie said pulling her into his arms and started murmuring softly .

"Mom called her sounding off about yesterday. She's mad at mom and she was afraid you would be upset with her." he whispered into my hair.

"Bree didn't do anything wrong." I whispered back then pulled away from him to go talk to Bree.

"Bree, we are ok. I am pissed at your mom but you don't have anything to do with it." I said.

"Thank you!" she said freeing herself from Rylie and hugging me. I smiled as Rylie mouthed 'Thank you' at me.

As we walked in the house Jaz realized I was alone and sighed.

"Where is Edward?" he groaned.

"I kicked him out! I was so sick of being treated like a porcelain doll that I told him to git gone for awhile!" I said.

"Bella," Jaz sighed exasperated.

"Don't you Bella me!" I growled poking him in the chest, "I am done with being treated like "poor fragile Bella"! I won't break! I am fine! The medicine is working and I won't have anyone treating me like I could break at any moment! I saw Dr Call today and got all the dos and don'ts. I will follow doctors orders but I will do as I please!" then I thrust the letter Dr Call had written into his hands and walked into the kitchen.

I could hear them talking softly in the living room. Then Jaz came in to the kitchen poised for battle.

"I'll be damned if you are going to ride!" he said.

"Then I guess you'll be damned then!" I said defiantly.

"I'm serous Bella!" he growled.

"So am I!" I snarled back.

"I'll get rid of the horses in I have to!" He threatened.

"Seriously!" I spat hating that I either had to give up riding or lose my horse.

"Fine! You win Jasper!" I spat and took off out of the house.

"Where are you going?" Jaz growled hot on my heels.

"For a walk! Or is the allowed? I would hate to break one of your rules!" I spat angrily.

"Yes, it's allowed. Bella, this is your home, I am your husband. I just…Never mind!" he said to my back as I stormed toward the trail I had ridden on earlier.

I had seen Emmett and Rose arrive and really didn't feel like a chat. I found myself at the pool that Jaz and I had found and sat on a flat stone Glowering at the water. It was getting dark and I could see the lire light from the bonfire and here everyone down there.

I sighed when I saw a flashlight coming up the trail. I could tell it was Jaz by the way he walked.

"Everyone's asking for you?" he said softly.

I stood and started to walk down the trail when he stepped in front of me.

"Darlin', will you talk to me?" he asked.

"What is there to say? You have said your piece and I am supposed abide by your rules. I don't want to fight right now so, No! I won't talk with you!" I said stepping around him. He shadowed me keeping the light just ahead of me so I could see. I made my way down to the bonfire and sat beside Emmett on the edge of the tail gate. He wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "What ever it is we will fix it! Pretend to sleep and I won't let anyone bother you." I melted into his side fighting to hold back the angry tears. Emmett acted as a shield for me that night. a half hour later he scooped me into his arms and sat me in the truck propping me on the seat. I could hear the worry in Jaz voice as he was asking about me.

"Jaz she's tired. I am going to take her to the house." he said.

"No, I should do it!" Jaz protested.

"You obviously upset her so give her some space." Rose hissed, "Em, go head and take her home."

I pretended to sleep until we got out of sight and then I sat up a little straighter. Emmett drove down the driveway and onto the road. He was taking me to his house. We rode in silence all the way. It wasn't until he had led me into the living room and we sat down that he softly asked, "What is going on? You two never fight."

"I'm not going to be treated like a fragile little thing. I talked to the doctor this morning. I found out what was safe and what was not safe to do." I said and saw a look of recognition.

"This is about you riding." He said.

"Kinda but not totally." I said, "He came in laying down the law."

"We all know how well that goes over." He grinned. I smiled a little to at his snarky comment.

"Em, I will not have him making demands. It isn't about the horse it's about my freedom. He threatened to get rid of Diesel if I didn't obey him. I don't respond to demands and threats well." I said.

"I can bring Diesel here if you like!" he said, "I'll ride him over here and then you can come here to visit him.

"I may take you up on that if he continues to be an ass. I'll just come her to ride." I said.

"Maybe I should bring Ace and Duce too and we can ride together." He said.

"That sounds fun. You and I will have to ride together soon." I said.

"Do you want me to talk to him for you?" he asked.

"No, I got this." I said.

"So what was you going to do?" he asked.

"I'm not really sure." I told him. We lapsed into silence so Em turned on the TV. We watched old reruns on chiller until Jaz and Rose came through the door. Emmett told me good night and left the room. Rose followed him quietly. Jaz stood awkwardly in the doorway.

"I suppose you are ready to go." I sighed and started to stand up.

"Why don't we sit here and talk for a bit." Jaz asked softly.

"Ok, Talk." I said.

"I'm sorry! I just want to keep you and our baby safe!" he said.

"Dr. Call said it was safe. I would not do anything to jeopardize this child! You have to know me well enough to know that! We are a married couple! Equal partners. Jasper I do not take orders and your word is not law!" I said.

"I know." He whispered hanging his head, "But I just… well, Damn it!" I saw that he was struggling to find the words so I waited calmly, "I can't lose you. What if you… Like your mom… Bella, I can't breath." It was then I realized something was wrong. Jaz was gasping for breath and clutching his chest.

"EMMETT" I screamed as I helped Jaz to lie down on the couch. Emmett and Rose rushed in and Rose called an ambulance while Emmett tried to help Jaz. It seemed like hours instead of minutes when the ambulance got to the house. Jaz was still having trouble breathing but the chest pain and eased alittle. The EMT's loaded him and then told me to follow them. I was terrified. Emmett drove me to the hospital and Rose went to go get Edward.

When we reached the hospital I was escorted into the exam room where Jaz was sitting up in bed hooked to a heart monitor seeming to be fine. I crossed the room. I fight back the sobs but the tears streamed down my cheeks.

"They said it was most likely a panic attack." He soothed kissing my temple, "The events of the last few days proved to be too much."

Dr. Call busted through the door and hurriedly started looking over monitors and then through the chart. I fidgeted nervously sitting on the edge of Jasper's bed. Jaz tightened his grasp on me and whispered, "Easy Darlin'."

"It seems to be a panic attack. Jasper, I am going to start you on anti-anxiety medication. I want to see you next week to see how you are responding to it." Dr Call said. I noticed Jaz withdraw. I knew it was about the medication deal and his pride. I'm sure he felt like the weakest link at having to take medication but he had a lot to deal with. He was lost in thought so I answered for him.

"He gets home at 3:30 on Wednesday." I supplied.

"Can you be at my office be 4?" he asked.

"I will make sure of it." I said.

"How are you doing, Bella?" He asked.

"I'm great! With Esme back to herself, I don't have to worry so much about her. She helps out a lot more. All I have to do is take care of Ali and myself. Things are getting better." I said.

"I meant with this. Emmett filled me in on the events of tonight." He said.

"I know I shouldn't have upset him." I started.

Bella, this isn't your fault. I have been expecting one or both of you to crack under all of the pressure you have been under. You two are incredibly strong." He said then patted Jaz on the shoulder and said, "There is no shame in needing a little help now and then."

That seemed to snap him out of it, "Thanks DR Call."

"I'll send the nurse in to discharge you." He said and was gone.

The nurse came in and removed the heart monitor and the IV then handed Jaz a typewritten page and a bottle of pills, "Here is your discharge instructions and your prescription." She said. After a few additional instructions we stepped out into the waiting room. Edward, Esme, Victoria, Rose, and Emmett engulfed Jaz in a group hug. Pops and Dad hung back holding Ali. I walked over and took Ali into my arms.

"Are you all ok?" dad asked.

"We're fine." I said.

After everyone let go of Jaz, they followed us home. I sighed softly, there would be no time to visit about today. Jaz squeezed my hand and winked and then slipped out of the truck. I got a sleeping Ali out of her car seat and followed Jaz in the house. I took Ali straight up to her room. When I came down Jaz was sitting in the recliner about to fall asleep. Everyone said a quick good-bye and left. Bree and Rylie stayed the night at Edward's and Edward and Esme stayed there as well. We were alone in the house except for the sleeping baby upstairs.

"Are they gone?" he whispered.

"Yes. They have all gone home and Edward and Esme are staying away tonight too." I told him, "Edward saw through your act."

"So should we talk?" he asked.

"Jaz?" I said uncertainly.

"I'll be fine, Darlin'." He said moving to the big over sized chair and pulling me into it with him.

"Ok." I said.

"You were trying to talk to me when I blow up at you." He said, "Tell me what Dr. Call said. Start with the horse thing."

"I asked if I could still ride. Dr Call said that I could trail ride at a walk on a calm horse through my 1st and 2nd trimesters. Jaz, I know you are worried but I won't do anything that puts us at risk!" I said placing a hand over where the baby would be. "This wasn't about the horse thing though. You know that right?" judging from the guilty grin I knew that I was. "You went al cave man on me. I don't hake orders and I don't respond well to threats."

"I know! I am really sorry about what I said." He said then pulled me close, "The thought of anything happening to you just… Well…" I could here his breath quicken and stopped him.

"Jaz, look at me!" I said waiting for him to comply, "I'm right here and I am fine. Calm down." He pulled me in and started humming his lullaby. I lie in his arms and let him sooth himself. That night we slept in each other's arms holding each other tight.

**(There will be a time jump in the next Chapter. I hope you enjoyed this one. Sorry it took so long to get this one out.)**


	12. Chapter 12

I don't own Twilight it's just fun to play with.

Bella's POV

I awoke early the sun was just streaking the sky. I could feel Jaz running his fingers up and done my looked back.

"Good morning!" I said softly.

"Morning!" He said. We just lay there neither of us wanting to move.

After about 10 minutes, the peaceful morning was shattered by a knock at the door followed by Victoria's panicky voice, "Jasper! I need to see you!" Then the knocking turned to pounding.

"Shit!" Jaz groaned as we got up. I padded down to the door to stop the assault on the door while Jaz put on some clothes.

"Jaz will be down in a minute. I was just going to make some coffee. Would you like a cup?" I said pleasantly.

"Yes, thank you." She said curtly.

I left her in the living room and retreated to the sanctuary of the kitchen. I fixed Victoria and myself a cup of coffee. Victoria was sitting on the couch and mumbled a thank you.

"Is he even awake?" she huffed impatiently.

"Yes. He was getting dressed when I came down. I'll go get him." I reply and ascended the stairs.

Jaz was sitting on the edge of the bed when I walked in. He looked so lost it made me sad so I sat beside him.

"Jaz, are you ok?" I asked.

"I can't deal with her this morning. I will just disappoint her again." He said sadly. I pulled out my phone and called Pops.

"Morning Bells! How are ya this morning?" he greeted me.

"Pretty good, Pops! I was going to see if you could come and get Gram. She showed up a little while ago and is insisting that she see Jaz. He doesn't have the energy to see her this morning. So I am thinking I will need back up when I tell her." I said.

"I will be right there." He said hanging up.

"Go take a long hot shower and I will come get you when she's gone." I said to Jaz caressing his cheek lovingly.

I waited until I heard the bathroom door lock before descending the stairs.

"He isn't feeling well this morning. He's pretty wiped out from the last couple days." I said.

"Well, I can't imagine that it would be easy living with the knowledge that your wife isn't concerned about the welfare of your child." She quipped.

"You know, I wasn't going to do this. I really was going to try to be nice but you are impossible! You are stressing him out!" I said as she tried to push past me.

"Oh, yes! It's all me! Does Jaz even know I am here? I bet not." She said shoving me to the side again.

"He's worried about disappointing YOU! He doesn't need this right now! If you don't start putting his feelings before your own you will lose him. He is under so much stress that he had a panic attack. Who's to say next time it won't be a heart attack? I know you WANT to see him but he NEEDS some rest." I said.

"He needs his mother!" She quipped shoving me roughly again. If I had not been braced for her I would had fallen over.

My fist thought was for my unborn child that could have been jeopardized if I had of fallen and white-hot anger began boiling up inside of me. The next words that came falling out of my mouth I will regret for the rest of my days.

I growled, "No, he needed his mother when he was a kid. When you abandoned him. He thought that if he had just tried a little harder that he might have earned your love. That's when he needed you but you walked away. He shed millions a tears over you then. I know because most of them fell onto my shoulder. He felt like he was nothing because of you. He needed you then but NOW you are the last thing he needs."

I regretted those words instantly all the anger left as I saw her face twist into a horrific grimace and she sunk to her knees as tears poured down her face. I saw my dad standing at the door with Pops. Pops rushed to Gram's side and I walked outside past dad and he followed.

"I can't believe I just said that." I said sinking into the swing, "I was really trying to be nice."

"Bella, It's what she needed to hear. Granted it could have been put into nicer terms and we saw that you were trying. I can't believe she pushed you. Twice." He said.

"Not a word of that to Jaz!" I said sternly, "He doesn't need this right now!"

"I know kiddo." He said.

"You seem to be the authority on what my son needs!" Gram spat and Pops escorted her out.

"I know he would fly into a rage at the thought of you shoving me. Victoria, I am not your enemy here. You are your own worst enemy. I want you and Jaz to have a good relationship! He missed you so desperately and I saw a good change in him in the beginning but now this relationship is adding to his stress. He told me that he couldn't deal with your disappointment in him today. You need to take a look at what you are doing to him! The stress in his life is toxic to him. Stop adding to it!" I said. She began sobbing and Pops pulled her into him.

"Can I leave my truck here?" Pops said quietly guiding her to her car. I nodded. Dad and I watched in silence as they left.

"Are you ok?" dad asked.

"Yeah. She just pissed me off so bad!" I said, "Please don't say anything to Jaz! I don't want to upset him!"

"Ok! I will let it go but Bella, I will tell him if it ever happens again." He warned.

"Tell who what?" Jaz said sternly from inside.

"Just that your wife had to get very firm with your mother." Dad said.

"Yeah, I heard part of it." Jaz said in a strangled voice, "Did she really push you Bells?"

"Jaz, I'm ok. I didn't fall." I said rushing to him.

He gave me a one armed hug as he pulled out his cell phone and demanded that Pops bring his mother back. Then stormed out to the driveway to wait. I ran into the house and got his medication and a glass of water while dad went to check of Ali. He took the pill I offered him and then kissed my forehead. I caught sight of Grams car and gave Jaz a worried look.

"It's going to be ok, Darlin'! I promise." He said, "Please go inside and send your father out."

On trembling knees I did as I was asked and sent dad out. I took the baby monitor and stood on the porch watching. I saw Victoria and Pops get out of the car and Victoria reach to hug Jaz and him side step her. I could tell Jaz was talking to her and then she started screaming at him.

"I am unwelcome here, because of her?" she shouted, Jaz said something and then she screamed, "I don't care!" Jaz was talking calmly to her again and she got in her car. The three men talked and Pops hugged Jaz and then got into the car and drove off. I watched as Dad and Jaz walked slowly to the porch. Once on the porch Jaz pulled me into his arms and we sat on the porch swing.

"What happened?" I asked as dad sunk in to the rocking chair.

"She will either get help or not be welcome around either of us anymore." Jaz said seeming tired.

Edward and Esme pulled up about ten minutes later. Victoria was at Edward's crying on Bree's shoulder. I moved off the swing so that Esme could sit down next to Jaz and hug him because that's exactly what he needed right now unconditional love from a loving mother. I went and fixed everyone coffee. Edward pulled me to the side.

"Esme and I got to talking and we don't think you and Jaz should be apart, especially now. She called to check on married student housing and you two qualify for a pretty big discounted rate. I was thinking that I could stay here with Esme while you to were there at school and Esme could hang out with Maria while I was working. You all can come back as often as you can. Esme hates the toll this is taking on you two. We have already talked to Maria and she said that would be fine. We are all worried for you!" he said.

"Edward, what about Clair?" I said.

"I am going to change my schedule to work afternoons and I will watch Clair." He said.

"Jaz and I will talk about it." I said feeling alittle overwhelmed.

"Last night I introduced mom to Maria and they hit it off well. I think I can see a future with Maria now." He said.

"So, have you talked to her about it?" I asked grateful that he had changed the subject.

"Actually, we spent the night together last night. We talked all night. Last night really clenched it for me that you are my sister-in-law. I told her exactly what I was feeling and she told me her feelings. She and I are going to start seeing each other in an official exclusive relationship." He said, "Is this weird, talking about this with me?"

I smiled, "Not at all! This is how it should have been all along. You and I work better as friends. I am so happy you found your future!" I hugged him tight genuinely happy for my brother-in-law.

"Good, I don't really have anyone I else to talk to. " He said hugging me back.

About that time I felt a pair of arms wrap around both of us, "I am happy for you too, Edward! And you can always talk to me ya know!" Jaz said.

"Jaz, I was just…" Edward stammered.

"I know Edward. Mom and I walked in on your conversation." Jaz said pulling back.

"I filled Jaz in on me checking into married student housing and the possibility of Bella and Ali going with him. Bella it is taking such a toll on you two being apart. Edward will stay here with me and I can help take care of things. Dr. Black comes out here for my appointments. I am getting more of the old me back everyday. One day I hope that I will be cleared to be able to stay on my own." Esme said.

"I love having you here! I don't want you to move out." I said.

"Bella, I plan to stay with you all but I really hope one day I won't have to have a constant babysitter and maybe I can move on with my life. I will always be here for you! You know that!" She smiled pulling me into a hug.

We sat at the house and visited for a while waiting for Bree's reaction to this situation. When She and Rylie came over it was uncomfortable to say the least.

"I want your side of the story. Mom gave me hers and you," Bree said turning to me, "had some very harsh words for her. I know she isn't prefect but what you said to her was…" she broke off.

"She's really upset." Rylie said softly pulling Bree into him.

"Well, she came over pounding on the door and screaming for Jaz. I answered the door and let her in and gave her some coffee while we waited for Jaz." I said before Bree interrupted me.

"You let her in?" Bree said confused.

"Yes, I let her in and gave her coffee. We sat on the couch for a few minutes and then I went to check on Jaz." I said.

"I couldn't deal with her this morning so Bella called Harry and had him come help with mom." Jaz said.

"When I went back down stairs, I told her that Jaz wasn't feeling well and that he was still pretty wiped out from the last couple days. She said and I quote, 'Well, I can't imagine that it would be easy living with the knowledge that your wife isn't concerned about the welfare of your child.' and tries to push past me and asked me if he even know that she was here then shoved me again. I got angry and told her that he was worried about disappointing her and that he didn't need this right now!' She insisted that he needed her and shoved me again. If I had not been braced for her I would had fallen over. My fist thought was our baby that could have been jeopardized if I had fallen and that pissed me off. I regret not being more tactful with my words but I told her that he had needed her when he was a kid but now she was the last thing he needed. I also told her that I knew Jaz would fly into a rage at the thought of her just about shoving me down and then told her that she was her own worst enemy right now. I told her that I wanted her and Jaz to have a good relationship. Then told her that she needed to take a look at what she was doing to him. The stress in his life was toxic and that she was adding to it!" I finished.

"She pushed you? She physically put her hands on you and pushed you?" Bree stammered in disbelief.

"Yes, Bree. She did. Harry and I saw it." Dad answered for me.

"And you are cutting her out of your life?" Bree said to Jaz.

"Unless she goes to counseling and gets her shit together." Jaz said sadly.

"So she'll never get to see your kids?" she said shocked.

"That's up to her. I am tired of her demands on me and her attacks on Bella. The first one was a verbal assault. This one was a more physical assault. I won't give her another chance. If she doesn't get help for her obvious anger issues then she can stay away. I won't have my family in danger." He said.

"That brings me to my next thing. Mom doesn't want you living in her house anymore." Bree said quietly.

"That's fine too. Bella, Ali and I are going to be living in the married student housing. So, I was going to be talking to you about moving out. I will be packing up my stuff and be out by Monday. Now if you will excuse me, I have arrangements to make." Jaz said as he left the room.

"Bella, I'm stuck in the middle here. It's not me kicking Jaz out. I don't want to lose you guys." She began sorrowfully.

"Bree, the trouble between your mother and us has nothing to do with you and us unless you make it so. No one is upset with you." I said.

"Ok. Right now I feel it is best for me to go!" she said tears filling her eyes as she left.

Later that evening Jaz told me that he had set up an appointment for tomorrow afternoon to look at a small two bedroom apartment in the student housing complex. He asked me if I would go with him. I was torn but agreed to go. So tomorrow morning I would say goodbye to Esme for a week. I packed Ali's and my bags and loaded the pack and play bed, the jogging stroller, and our air mattress along with some sheets.

We stayed up late Saturday night knowing that tomorrow we would all be separated. I sat next to Esme who told me that it was all for the best. She assured me that she would be ok and that she would see me on the weekend. I fought tears at the thought of leaving her. I had been her protector and now I was leaving her. She smiled and told me that she was looking forward to spending time with Edward and getting to know Maria. Dad told me that he would check on things here and help Edward and Esme. It was well after one when we went to bed. The morning would bring about change. I just hoped it was a good change.

Jaz woke me up the next morning with a cup of coffee and a piece of coffee cake. I smiled, as I tasted it. Esme had baked.

"Esme's" I asked.

"She and Edward are baking together." He said gently.

"I'm gona miss her!" I said wiping a tear.

"Darlin' if you want to stay you can." He said sounding dejected.

"Jaz, I want to be with you! It's just going to take some getting used to. I am used to taking care of Esme. It kinda feels like I am abandoning her." I said, "I know that she no longer needs me to take care of her. It will just take some time."

"I have loaded some of my old furniture from the dorms that I had in the garage at moms (he is talking about Esme) and Edward had an extra TV so he sent that. I think we are set. Once you are dressed we are ready to go. We need to be leaving in a half hour." He said kissing my cheek and leaving me to get ready.

I dressed quickly and headed down stairs to spend what little time I had left with everyone. Dad, Edward, and Esme where all there to see us off I hugged my father and then Edward, then hugged Esme then passed Ali around then put her in her car seat. She played with her doll and babbled happily. After one more round of hugs and then we were off. Jaz visited with me to keep my mind off of leaving. The two hour drive seemed quick and soon we were pulling into the parking lot of the apartment complex. Jaz gently cradled a sleeping baby girl on his chest and took my hand. When we walked into the office there was a kind older gentleman that greeted us quietly and then lead us to the vacant two-story apartment. I liked the apartment and soon we were filling out paperwork and I was writing a check for a deposit and the first and last month's rent. I got the Pack-N-Play and set it up in one of the upstairs bedrooms so Jaz could lay Ali down. We unloaded all of our stuff. When Ali woke up we moved everything out of Victoria's house and Jaz drove the car back while I drove the truck. We set up our small house and then went to babies-r-us to buy stuff to baby proof the apartment. We also bought pillows and odds and ends.

Our first night in the apartment wasn't that great. Ali cried a lot and finally fell asleep at one. The air mattress was uncomfortable and we woke up with sore backs. We got ready and went to breakfast before Jaz went to class. He told me to go pick out a bedroom suit and have it delivered. So I did just that. Then I went to the grocery store. Once I got home I put Ali down for a nap hoping to end her foul mood and put the groceries away. The guys delivered and set up the bed and even deflated that air mattress for me. By the time Jaz got home I had the apartment looking like a real home. I even fixed a casserole.

Jaz had a rough day. Bree called upset that Jaz had already moved out. Victoria had called to make sure he had moved out and then cried and begged him to come home when he told her about our apartment. He was so confused.

He sat on the futon that was acting as our couch and cuddled Ali. It was the first time all day that Ali hadn't been grouchy all day. She giggled as Jaz tickled her sides. At dinner we realized that we needed to buy a high chair. Jaz held her on his lap at the bar. I made a mental note to pick one up tomorrow. After supper he helped with the dishes and then Sat in the floor and played with Ali.

I was grateful that he was giving me some free time. I walked upstairs and called Esme. She was happy to hear for me. I told her about the apartment and a little about the town then I ask about her day. She told me that Jake's visit went great. He had told her she was improving. He had watched her cook dinner and then said that soon she could try a day by herself. She was excited about the prospect of being cleared to be independent again. I was happy for her. She told me that she was typing her recipes that she was remembering on her old laptop. She said she was watching the sunset with Daisy. I smiled at the thought. She and Daisy were inseparable before she started getting herself back and now they where even closer. We visited for a few minutes longer and then she had to go. Dad was coming over to watch a movie with her while Edward was working.

I walked back down stairs to see Jaz cradling Ali as he finished her bedtime story she was sound asleep. He rose and put her in bed. I sat on the couch and found a show that Jaz and I both watched. When he came down stairs I snuggled into his side. I had missed just snuggling with Jaz. This was actually the first time in quite awhile it had just been us. That night we made love and fell asleep in each other's arms totally satisfied.

It was easy to fall into a routine. Wake up at 6 bundle Ali into the stroller and go running with Jaz, come home to shower and dress, fix breakfast, wake Ali up and get her ready (the stroller became in handy as second bed for Ali), we would then have breakfast, Jaz would leave for school or to study and Ali and I would go to the park a block away. We would play for an hour and then go back home where I would start laundry and play with Ali. Jaz would come home for lunch and then I would put Ali down for a nap, Jaz would go back to school and I would correspond with Kate getting ready to meet her cousin Irena Denali. The Conference that Irena was set to lecture at was going to be midsummer in Seattle. Kate was excited about my pregnancy and Esme's recovery only now she was hounding me about writing an autobiography and had even enlisted Esme who thought it would make money. I had to admit the idea of the book didn't sound terrible but now just wasn't the best time although I had started typing some of my thoughts about the past few years.

The first week flew by and now we are in the car headed home to see everyone. By 5 we would be home. Esme had made supper and was excited to see us. Dad, Pops, Emmett, Rose, Edward, Maria, Clair, and Esme were at the house waiting for us. It was a great reunion. I hugged everyone and thanked everyone for coming. I had missed them. We sat down to eat and then we noticed that Gram was missing. Jaz hasn't said anything but I knew it was eating at him. We ate and complemented Esme on dinner and then Rose and I cleaned up.

This became a routine too. After about three weeks Rose and I were cleaning up dinner. She filled me in on the gossip going around and then pulled me out the back door.

"Don't freak out, but there is a blossoming romance between your dad and Esme. Since Dr. Black and Dr. Call cleared her as mentally and physically fit to live on her own, Edward is going to start staying at his house some because he says Charlie takes her out to dinner and they came home late. Edward said that he sometimes comes home from work and Esme's left a note that she is fishing with Charlie. He was only staying here to be with Esme but she's never home anymore. Besides I think he's going to ask Maria to move it with him." She said.

"So Esme and my dad!" I couldn't hide my smile, "Jaz and I wondered about that last week. They sit alittle too close and they are always looking at each other grinning. I think it's great. She is back to her old self. There are no residual effects other then to her kidneys. She is a grown woman and I knew that eventually she would venture out and meet someone. Dad will treat her like a queen."

"I know that! We were just worried about your reaction." she said.

"We?" I asked with a smirk.

"Esme and Charlie asked me to out them and then calm you down if need be." Rose blushed.

"Wow! They are so brave!" I chuckled, "Edward has already moved out and living with Maria. I knew that last week when she slipped up."

"You knew?" she said.

Yes, I knew!" I giggled at her expression, "Don't say anything to the others yet! I want to catch them."

"What?" Rose asked.

"Tell them that a good time never came up. I have an appointment with Dr. Call on Wednesday at 4. We will be coming back for the night. I just want to see the expressions on their faces when we catch them." I said.

"You are evil! I love it!" She giggled.

We joined the others and I noticed dad giving Rose a questioning look and she slightly shook her head. Jaz and I took Ali to see her pony and I filled Jaz in. He chuckled and repeated Rosalie's words of 'You are evil.' The weekend went quickly and soon it was time to go.

Wednesday came along fast and we were sitting in a little exam room with Dr. Call. He was pleased that my blood pressure was staying down and assured me that the baby and I where both safe. After much discussion of my mothers high blood pressure Dr Call had assured Jaz that they had better medication now then they did then and that I was in no danger. Then he told Jaz that we would be doing an Ultrasound on our next visit. We were excited. Just before Thanksgiving we would know weather we were having a boy or a girl.

Jaz and I headed to our house knowing that dad had the day off so he and Esme would be off somewhere. We pulled up to find dad's truck in the drive. We knocked and called "Hello!" as we walked in. The house seemed deserted. I took Ali to lay her down and on my way out of her room saw movement through the crack in Esme's door. I realized what was happening in that room. I quickly scooped Ali back up out of her bed and took her down to the couch. Jaz took one look at my face and asked, "What's wrong?"

"Um, Ah! I just caught your mom and my dad having sex." I stammered turning bright red.

Jaz laughed out loud. Two seconds later Esme came down. When she saw us she turned as red and I was and ran back upstairs. About five minutes later they both came down and joined Jaz and I at the table.

"Um, We were going to tell you guys!" Esme stammered.

"Esme, it's ok!" I said unable to go through with my plan to make them sweat.

"We have suspected this for a while now." Jaz said.

"So you two are together now?" I said.

"Yes. We are." Dad said.

"Well! I am glad. You too deserve to be happy!" Jaz beamed.

That evening everyone gathered at the house and came clean with everything. Dad told us that he planned to stay with Esme during the week at the farm and then on the weekends he and Esme would stay at his house and Edward fessed up to moving in with Maria last week. After everyone made their confessions. Jaz and I shared the news that we would be finding out whether we were having a boy or a girl next appointment. Rose and Emmett announced that they were having a boy. We talked about baby names and nursery themes. Rose had finally gotten Emmett to agree to a teddy bear theme. He was already dreaming about their little boy.

We visited awhile longer and when Rose brought up the topic of Jaz and My reception party. She had insisted that we do it soon. After much discussion Rose talked us into doing it this weekend. Rose told me that she and Esme would take care of everything.

Thursday and Friday flew by and soon it was time to head home once again. Rose had everything ready for tonight and was pacing with excitement dressed and ready for our party that half the town had been invited to. The banquet hall at the church was decorated with daisy chains and silver ribbon. This was a reception 4 months late. She had everything planned down to us coming in last. Everyone was gracious about our quiet wedding although I knew we would be the talk of the town tomorrow. Jaz and I sat at the head of the room and told our story without reference to my divorce or hospital stay. Everyone wished us well. There was tons of food, music and dancing, laughter, and great friends. It was a great night but I was so tired by the end.

Jaz insisted that we spend the night at our local bed and breakfast so we checked in. I was so exhausted that I nodded off as soon as my head hit the pillow. I awakened to the colors exploding acrossed the sky just outside the window. I smiled as I felt Jaz tighten his arms around me.

"Good Morning Beautiful!" he drawled.

"Morning! Sorry I fell asleep on ya last night. I have been so tired lately." I said.

"Don't apologize! It's hard work building a baby!" he said with a grin.

We lay there and watched the sunrise.

We spent the weekend at the farm just hanging out. I told Jaz about the long forgotten hay meadow and we took Ali for a horseback ride to look at it. Jaz was excited about the prospect of more hay. After our ride he called Emmett to see if he needed firewood and Saturday afternoon was spent with the guys cutting wood and Rose and I cooking lunch. Before long Rose and I heard car doors shut and I was startled to see Pops and Victoria. Rose called the guys home and I could hear that Jaz wasn't pleased. I let them in and Pops took the lead.

"Hi Kiddo!" he said giving me a hug, "Is Jaz around?" he asked.

"Yes, he and Emmett are cutting wood. They should be up in a minute. Rosalie called them." I said uncomfortably as I sunk into the chair and they sat on the couch.

"Bells, I can see you're uncomfortable. Dr. Black recommended that I be with Victoria when she talked to you and Jaz for the first time." He explained.

"You're seeing Dr. Black?" I breathed.

"I am. I was so angry because I felt like I was losing Jaz all over again. I see now that no one took him from me, I have pushed him away. The things you said the last time I saw you have been helpful believe it or not. I hated hearing it but I needed to hear it. Bella, I want to thank you for being there for Jaz when I wasn't." She said sadly.

"I want you and Jaz to have a good relationship. You both need it. Not to mention your grandbabies." I said.

"Why are you here?" Jaz asked very sternly walking over to join me in the over sized chair.

"Jaz, she is seeing Dr. Black." I soothed, "She is here to try to move forward and form a new relationship with us."

"Dr. Black huh?" Jaz said stoically, "Mom, I truly hope that this is for real because this is your last chance. I can't deal with you leaving me again. The first time you were forced to run but the last time you willingly walked away. I just can't take it if you do it again."

"I understand." She said, "I just wanted to apologize to the both of you."

"Thank you Gram." I said.

"Apology accepted." Jaz said, "We are having lunch here after church, would you like to join us?"

"Yes! Thank you!" Gram said reaching to place a hand over Jaz's. He turned his hand over and squeezed hers.

Gram and Pops stood to leave, "We aren't the only two you need to apologize to." Jaz said.

"I know. I will have to earn Edward, Esme and Charlie's forgiveness. I think I owe Edward the biggest apology. I ran into him a couple of days after you all left and I laid into him pretty hard." Gram said hanging her head.

"Yeah, I heard about that. Actually the whole grocery store heard that." Rose said in a snarky tone.

"He never said a word." Jaz said sadly.

"He said that nothing positive could come of telling you and that it would only cause you more pain. He wasn't going to tell you and asked me not to either." She told you.

"Your brother has more integrity then I thought." Gram said quietly.

"Edward is a good guy!" Emmett said.

"I am starting to see that." Gram said.

"We should probably be going. We will see you tomorrow." Pops said leading Gram out.

Once they left Jaz pulled me to him and asked, "Are you alright? She didn't upset you did she?"

"Jaz, I am fine! She was nice and things can go back to being good with us." I said.

"You are so forgiving!" he said kissing my neck.

We ate lunch and then Rose and I went back with the guys. We sat on the tailgate of the truck and visited while Ali toddled around. All and all it was a pretty good day. While the guys loaded the wood, Rose and I stacked brush.

That night after we put Ali to bed we discussed baby names. Jaz loved the name Stetson Lane for a boy and we were still arguing over a girl's name. The only the only thing we did agree on was that if we had a girl her middle name would Renée. I liked the name Carly Renée but Jaz wasn't quite sold on it yet. I had a feeling that he would come around.

The Sunday morning services were nice as always and soon we were back at our house and it as alittle awkward having everyone there. Jaz and I had called Edward and dad and Esme to let them know that Gram and Pops had been invited and the story on that. Once lunch was on the table things started to feel normal. Gram had made her individual apologies and everyone seemed to accept them. By dessert we were laughing and joking around. Soon it was time to go back for Jaz's classes. We left a lot later than we planned. We were heading back at 7pm.

Halfway home Jaz received a call from Rylie. He said that Victoria was relentless in calling Bree asking her to find out what we were up too. When Bree had nothing to report Victoria would go off on a tirade and then hang up on her. Rylie said it had taken a heavy toll on her. He said that Bree had swung by the apartment this morning and when we weren't there she went to pieces. She had gotten drunk and took off walking. He had looked everywhere and there was no sign of her. He asked for help looking for her. We agreed and were going to go home and get my car then meet at Rylie's. When we got home we found Bree passed out in the floor of our apartment. She had thrown up at some point and was gasping for air. I called an ambulance and then Rylie while Jaz moved his sister out of her vomit. I laid Ali in the strolled and then went to help Jaz who was currently clearing out his sister's mouth and nose. The ambulance and Rylie ran a close tie. They took Bree to the hospital and Jaz and Rylie followed in Rylie's car. I cleaned up the vomit from the floor and then grabbed Jaz a change of clothes and then headed to the hospital. I called Pops and Gram on the way. They said they were on their way.

Once at the hospital I carefully placed Ali back in her stroller and covered it with a heavy blanket then quickly made my way to Jaz and Ry. Jaz gratefully accepted the clothes and the trash bag I had brought to tie the dirty clothes up in. I told Ry that I had called Victoria and she was coming and he mumbled his thanks. He looked so lost. When Jaz came back we sat waiting in silence for at least a half hour until the doctor came out with a consent form.

"I am Dr. Atera. Who is her next of kin?" he said in an urgent tone that had us all scared.

"I'm here fiancé." Ry said.

"I need a husband or blood relative." The doctor said gently looking very sympathetic at Rylie's defeated face.

"I am her brother." Jaz said.

"Mr.?" he prompted.

"Whitlock" Jaz supplied.

"Your sister aspirated her vomit. It has been there long enough that it had become like sludge and it is clogging her lungs. We need to go in and scrape it out. I need your consent." Jaz took the forms and signed them while the doctor finished telling us that Bree had alcohol poisoning and that they had pumped her stomach and given her activated charcoal. Bree was non-responsive to stimuli and was in critical condition. I saw both Jaz and Rylie's looks of devastation. I tried best I could to comfort both of them but they were both distraught and I needed back up. I grabbed Rylie's phone from his jacket pocket and scrolled through the numbers until I came to "MOM CELL" and I called it.

A groggy woman's voice answered, "Rylie?"

"Mrs. Beirs this is Bella Whitlock. Rylie needs you…"

"Oh My God! Is he alive? What happened?" she shrieked.

"Mrs. Beirs, Rylie is fine. Bree is in emergency surgery and he hasn't moved since they told us." I told her.

"Are you all at the hospital?" she inquired.

"Yes Ma'am!" I said.

"I will be there in five minutes." She said hanging up.

I was relieved when a pretty red-headed woman came to sit next to Rylie and pulled him into a hug. I turned to Jaz and hugged him. He had not said a word since he had signed the forms and Dr. Atera had left.

"Jaz" I said softly.

"Why didn't I protect her? I should have been there to take care of her." He choked out. His words brought to mind a conversation we had long ago.

***************** Conversation*****************************

_"I just wondered why you were so mad at Em." I said_

_"Emmett gambling with your safety just pisses me off. If my little sister were still here I would bust my ass to take care of her. If I were the one watching out for you I would never put you in danger…" he had started._

"There's no way you could have known!" I whispered, "You didn't put her in danger and you are taking care of her now."

"I'm her brother. I should have been there for her. She needed me." He whispered brokenly. An hour later a doctor came out to tell us that there were complications but that the surgery should only last about twenty minutes more and then they would observe her in the recovery room for a half hour more before she would be taken to the ICU. He said he would come back and tell us when they took her to the recovery room. Jaz was absolutely beside himself, he still felt responsible.

Pops and Gram got there just before they took her to the ICU floor. Victoria greeted Carole Biers coolly, then Jaz and Rylie. She was in a state of shock when I filled her, Pops, and Carole in on what I knew.

"Stressing your daughter out again, huh? This time you nearly killed her!" Carole growled.

"And you're Little Miss Mother of the year." Victoria spat back at her.

"I know emotions are high so maybe this should wait till a more appropriate time?" I said gently effectively defusing the heated battle that was sure to follow.

"You must be Bella. I have heard a lot about you." Carole said.

"Yes, I am Bella and this is Jasper." I said introducing him.

"I have heard a great deal about him as well." She said, "Rylie speaks highly of both of you." She smiled at me.

"We think alot of him too." I said just as the doctor came in. Jaz was on his feet focused solely on him.

"She's starting to come around. We have moved her to the ICU and you may go back two at a time." Dr. Atera said.

"Ry, come on!" Jaz said kissing me softly and walking with Rylie to Bree's room effectively letting Gram know she would have to wait her turn. She sank into a chair and clung to Pops. Carole sat in the chair beside me as I sat by Ali's stroller.

"She is adorable! I don't know two many young kids who would have taken on so much responsibility. Your story amazes me. I guess the apple didn't fall far from the tree. Your father took on Jasper to raise when he was younger too, right?" she said.

"Yeah, Jaz was at the house so much that the guest room became his until his dad married Esme. Then he gradually drifted back over to his house. We have always been friends and he is still my best friend." I smiled, "Taking Ali and Esme in was an easy decision. Esme has been like a mother to me ever since she came into my life and Ali, Well, Ali had me wrapped around her finger from day 1. It was easy falling into the mother role. She and Jaz are my world."

"It shows." She said softly, "Ry, tells me you are pregnant. How are you doing?"

"I'm doing well. I find things to keep me busy." I smiled.

"Oh yes, Ry told me about your books." She said.

We visited for a while until Jaz came in to the waiting room to give Gram a chance to go back and see Bree.

"Rylie's going to stay with her tonight. I told the doctor that he was family and that he would be staying with her tonight." Jaz said, "They are going to keep her sedated for tonight. Tomorrow afternoon they are going to take her off the ventilator and wake her up slowly. She will be fine. I will be back here at 1:30 tomorrow."

"Can you tell Rylie I will be back in the morning?" Carole asked.

"Yes. Of coarse." Jaz said.

Victoria popped back in to the waiting room to tell Pops that she was going to stay the night with Bree too. So we took Pops home with us. All of us fell asleep instantly once we got everything settled.

The next morning Pops watched Ali while Jaz and I went for our morning jog. It was nice to just be Jaz and Bella for a morning. When we got back home Pops had coffee waiting and was watching the news. I fixed Jaz breakfast and then headed to take a shower. By the time Jaz and I was dressed and ready for the day. It was almost time for Jaz to go. He called to check on Bree and then headed out. Pops left to go take Victoria to breakfast and Ali was still sleeping so I sipped my coffee and worked on my book.

At noon Jaz was home and we ate lunch and then headed to the hospital. I let Pops watch Ali while Jaz and I headed in to see Bree. We walked in on Victoria hissing at Rylie over Bree's bed. Rylie simply said, "I'm not doing this here." Victoria was scowling and giving Rylie a scathing tongue-lashing. Bree was restless and seemed agitated so Rylie had taken Gram into the hall while I went to see Bree. She seemed to quiet down some when I began talking to her. It wasn't long before Rylie came back in and took Bree's hand. He began talking to her. She seemed at total peace. I left them and went out to the waiting room to find Carole playing with Ali.

"Where is everyone?" I asked.

"Bree's mother started making a scene." She shook her head, "security ask her to leave and not come back. Jasper followed her and Harry out. He asked if I would keep an eye on Ali for him."

"Well, crap! Poor Jaz! He doesn't need this right now!" I said sadly.

When Jaz came back he was quiet. He scooped Ali into his arms and gave her a squeeze and then hugged me.

"I just saw the doctor head into the ICU department so I am going to head back there." He said then turned to Carole, "Thank you for watching her. My mother can be a handful."

"Your welcome Jasper." She said with a smile.

We sat and waited for an hour and then Jaz came back into the waiting room. "She's awake but groggy. They are moving her into a regular room on the third floor. Ry is going with her." He said escorting us to Bree's new room.

Bree was very groggy but smiled as she saw us. She reached for Ali and Jaz sat on the edge of her bed so that they could reach each other. Bree carefully nestled Ali into her side and Ali seemed content just to lie there. We visited with Bree for a while and then Jaz and I told her we would be back tonight. Rylie had fallen asleep in the recliner and Bree was looking like she would join him soon. Carole walked out with us.

"Thank you for sticking up for Rylie!" She told Jaz.

He smiled, "I was in a similar situation once with Bella. I was lucky enough to have her father let me stay. There is no way that Rylie will be told he can't be at her side."

"What happened?" She asked.

"There was an accident and I hit my head ready hard. I was in the hospital and was unconscious for awhile. Jaz stayed by my side through it all." I smiled up at him.

"Wow! That must have been terrible for you." She said to Jaz.

"It was rough. They didn't know when or even if she would wake up. It was the most terrified I had ever been." He said pulling me close to his side.

"I can imagine. When Tom had his heart attack two years ago I was a wreck. That was rough but to be at someone else's mercy to let you be there with the one you love. I would have gone crazy if I had not been allowed to see him." She said, "I am glad that they were kind to you through that."

"There was no reason for my mother to act that way." Jaz said sadly.

Once we were home Jaz sunk onto the couch and just looked lost. I put Ali down for a nap and then sat by him. He didn't say a word. He just pulled me into his lap and buried his face into the crook of my neck. I wrapped my arms around him and just held him. I could tell by his breathing that he was trying to calm down so I started humming our Lullaby.

That evening we went back to the hospital and visited Bree.

"Jaz?" Bree began, "I'm sorry I broke it to your apartment."

"Bree, the only thing that matters is that you are ok." Jaz said clearly uncomfortable.

"Please! Let me get this out!" she said silencing her brother, " I should have just talked to you in the first place instead of letting in fester and boil. I should have never turned back to alcohol." She took a deep breath, "Jaz, I'm a recovering alcoholic. In high school I went wild, drinking and partying every night. I ended up wrapping my car around a railroad bridge support. I nearly killed myself that night. Mom checked me into rehab and I hadn't had a drink since then. I was doing pretty well with the conflict between you and mom until she started calling. She was contently wanting me to report on what you where doing, wanting me to give you messages, basically wanting me to side with her against you. It all became too much and I fought with her. She yelled at me and we both said things we shouldn't have, then she hung up on me and refused my phone calls. I should have come to you but I didn't. I shut Rylie out and turned to the bottle! Please forgive me!" She finished in tears and Rylie looked close to tears too.

Jaz moved to the bed and took his baby sister in his arms and told her that there was nothing to forgive. I took Ali for a walk while Jaz and Rylie calmed Bree. Jaz called my cell and told me Bree was asking for me. When I came back in to the room Jaz took Ali and he and Rylie left the room. I walked in and sat in the chair beside Bree.

"Bella, I owe you an apology." she said, "I have avoided you and Jaz to appease my mother."

"There's no need to explain..." I said.

"I miss you. I know it's my own fault though. I really want us to be close friends." She said.

"We are close friends. How about when you get out of the hospital we have a girls night. We can go grab dinner and go shopping! I miss having girl time and plus I am going to need maternity clothes soon. My clothes are getting alittle tight over my baby bump." I smiled.

"That sounds great!" She said.

Bree received a call while I was there and I could tell it was upsetting her so I sent Jaz and Rylie text messages. When Bree hung up she began crying.

"Mom's moving home. She said I could stay but Rylie has to move out. We aren't married so the married student housing is out. Bella, what am I gona do?" She said.

"Talk to Rylie. You guys will figure out a solution. Jaz and I will help you guys in anyway we can. If it comes down to it you guys are welcome to our futon." I told her.

When Rylie and Jaz got back, Jaz and I took Ali home. I told Jaz what was going on and he was pissed. He went to visit his mother as soon as we got home. When He came home he had every scrap of Rylie's things because Victoria had thrown it all out on the front lawn. I was dumbfounded at the crap that she was pulling. I called Rylie to see what he wanted to do and then headed to the hospital to sit with Bree while Jaz and Rylie worked out a solution. Bree was asleep and slept through the duration of my stay. When Rylie came back he thanked me for staying with Bree and I slipped out of the room not wanting to wake Bree. On the way home Jaz told me that there was going to be a small ceremony at the courthouse tomorrow after Bree was released from the hospital and that we had new neighbors. He laughed about staking out Victoria's house until she was gone to move Bree's things.

**(time jump. Bree is out of the hospital and she and Rylie are married. Bella's pregnancy has progressed and Jaz, Bree, and Rylie just graduated law school will be taking Bar exams soon. Bree and Rylie have moved to Esme's old house, Edward is living with Maria, Esme is living with Charlie and Pops lives in the apartment he once shared with Victoria because he couldn't take anymore crazy. Victoria has completely stopped speaking to both her kids. She will still be lurking around though.)**

"Jaz, we need to start on the nursery. Dr. Call said that Little Miss Carly Renée Whitlock will be here any day now. Also we need to go see Emmett and Rose. We haven't seen much of her since Ethan was born." I said. Jaz remained quiet with a little smirk on his face and a gleam in his eye. He was up to something. We stopped to eat and then Jaz wanted to stop at the grocery store for milk. He was stalling! We had a full gallon at home it the fridge.

"What are you up to?" I asked him seeing him fain shock.

"Nothing! I just didn't know we had milk!" he said innocently, "We can go home if we have milk." he said then proceeded to drive painfully slow. When we finally got home I noticed that the guestroom door had a giant pink bow on the door. I waddled up the stairs followed by Jaz carrying a sleeping Ali. He told me to wait a minute as he put Ali to bed and then he swung open the door. It had been completely cleared out now had a crib with lavender and white bedding with a lavender and pink dragonfly mobile, a changing table with a soft lavender changing pad, and a weathered rocking chair with a lavender quilt draped over it.

"You did all of this." I said choked up.

"Well, Your dad, Pops, Edward and Emmett put it all together and Esme and Maria decorated it while Rose and Ethan supervised from the rocking chair but yes I arranged it." He said.

"I have the best family in the world!" I said wandering into the room. I walked over and ran my hands over the crib and realized that it was mine from when I was a baby all of the furniture was mine. My mother rocked in that chair while she was pregnant with me dreaming of who I would become. Tears slid down my cheeks at the memory of dad saying that my mother had imagined her grandbabies using the crib one day played over in my mind. I turned to Jaz and buried into his chest sobbing. I missed my mom more today then I had ever missed her before. I had never needed her more then I did in this moment. Jaz gathered me into his arms and sat us in the rocking chair where he rocked me while I fell apart. He hummed our lullaby and stoked my back understanding perfectly.

"I miss her." I sobbed, "I never met her but I miss her."

"I know baby." he murmured.

"Thank you. This is perfect." I sniffled.

"We knew it would be bitter sweet for you. When we are ready everyone is waiting and Em and Rose's house for us. They wanted to give you sometime." Jaz said.

Let me clean up and we can go." I said easing off of Jaz's lap and waddled into the bathroom. I washed my face and headed to the bedroom. In the hallway I felt a pop and then a gush of water poured down my legs. I heard Jaz on the phone telling someone that "She loved it and that we would be there soon."

"Ah... Jaz? I think my water broke." I called.

He popped out of the bedroom then rushed to my side as I was stripping off wet clothes and told who ever he was talking to that we where having the baby. There was a slight pause and then an ok thanks and then he hung up.

"Edward is coming to pick up Ali." Jaz told me, "What do you need me to do? Are you hurting? Do you need me to..."

"Jaz," I said to silence him and laid my hand on his cheek, "I am fine. Can you dry the floor and put these wet clothes in the washer. I am going to go change and grab the hospital bag and Ali's bag." I said.

"You wait for me to help you down the stairs." he told me worriedly.

"I will." I assured him.

I changed into a cotton sundress, put the hospital bag on the bed and grabbed Ali's overnight bag just as Edward came sprinting up the stairs. I scooped my Ali girl up and gave her a squeeze before slinging the bag strap over his shoulder and laying Ali into Edward's arms.

"How are you felling?" He asked worried.

"I'm ok. There haven't been any contractions so far." I told him.

"Are you ready?" Jaz asked. I felt bad for him he was so nervous.

Yeah, the bags on the bed and we are ready to go." I told him calmly although I felt anything but calm.

It was a short ride to the hospital and once I was checked in and settled into my bed on the Labor and Delivery Floor, hooked up to monitors and the IV was started we waited for Dr. Call. He came on and checked my progress over and over and was worried that I wasn't dilated further and that I wasn't having contractions. Carly was her usually wiggly self as she kicked away at the monitors. Dr. Call increased the pitocin drip that he explained should help speed up labor. I had yet to have a single labor pain. Jaz and I hung out and visited with our family that had been trickling in and waited. Dr. Call was becoming increasingly concerned about the lack of progression of labor and told us that unless I started progressing with in the hour that I would have to have a cesarean. I did start having mild contractions but they weren't enough to satisfy Dr. Call so at ten o'clock that night I was wheeled in to an operation room and at 10:15 pm on May 23 Dr. Call laid the angriest little girl I had ever seen on my chest and draped a blanket over her. Carly had red hair and greenish blue eyes and the evidence of an Irish temper. I talked softly to the tiny child who was intent on showing everyone her displeasure.

"You have your daddy's temper, I see." I cooed teasing Jaz.

He chuckled, "Hey there, angry girl, settle down." I handed her over and Jas started to work him magic humming the lullaby softly and swaying back and forth. She started to calm down and focus on the sound of his voice. The nurse handed him a bottle for him to feed her and she fell asleep in her daddy's arms. Jaz laid her in the bassinet so they could get her cleaned up. It only took a few moments and she was back in my arms and we were being wheeled back to the room.

When they got me settled in they brought everyone back in. Ali was awake and snuggled into Jaz's arms. He brought her over to see Carly. She smiled at her new sister and then said "Stis-ter?" and patted the blanket gently. Carly's eyes shot open and she was howling her angry screech again. Ali was startled and began to cry too. I handed Carly to Jaz and cuddled Ali to me. Jaz sang a soothing lullaby to our little angry girl.

"It's ok Ali girl." I soothed her.

"Hurt her?" Ale asked with big tears in her eyes.

"No, you didn't hurt her sweet girl. She's very grouchy." I said. After reassuring Ali and Jaz calming my little angry girl down, we tried again. Jaz laid Carly in the crook of my arm. I smiled down at both of my children. This time Ali just looked at Carly. The girls watched each other for a while and then Ali fall asleep. I handed Carly over to the waiting arms on my father and shifted Ali to lay her beside me so she was more comfortable. At 11:30 the nurses ran everyone out. I kept Ali beside me knowing that she was down for the night. I was so energized I couldn't sleep. Jaz sat beside me and we visited softly until Carly started stirring. Jaz got up and got the bottle ready. He picked her up and popped the bottle in her mouth as she was preparing to start wailing. She snapped her eyes shut and ate. Jaz and I dozed lightly between Carly's feedings. She had howled every hour and a half all night long. I was perplexed. I didn't remember Ali crying so much. I was worried that something was wrong with Carly. She was either sleeping or howling. I voiced my concerns to the nurse about Carly and she assured me that my little Carly was fine. I was so what relieved knowing that she was fine but it still distressed me when she was awake and screaming like a siren.

Edward came in just as my little alarm clock started wailing again. Jaz staggered over and made her bottle.

"I'm up, I'm coming, Angry Girl." Jaz murmured

Edward scooped Carly up and chuckled as Jaz handed him the bottle, "Angry Girl, huh? Did you give your mom and dad a hard time all night?" then to us, "You two look beat."

"We are. Poor Jaz has run him self ragged. They did a spinal block before the cesarean and the doctor said I couldn't get up until I could feel my legs. So it's all been up to Jaz." I said, "The doctor should be coming around today and most women get to come home after having a baby."

"Not after a cesarean they don't." Edward said gently, "Bells you will be in here at least another night."

I felt like crying. I just wanted to go home and snuggle into Jaz's side in our nice soft bed and sleep. Jaz saw my face and came to my side. He held me close and kissed my cheek.

"Tonight Ali will spend the night with Edward and Maria and we will send Carly to the nursery for the night. You need rest. We will both get some sleep and hopefully be rested tomorrow morning." He said softly.

I didn't want to part with my children but I knew I had to rest. Edward took Ali home with him when she woke up. She was chattering happily to her uncle Edward. I was relieved to see that we had about an hour before Carly was due to be fed again. Jaz stretched out beside me and we fell asleep. When Carly woke up to eat again we both felt a little more rested. Jaz handed her to me while he fixed the bottle. She seemed to calm down a little while I talked to her. By the time Jaz handed me her bottle she was just fussing a little and I swear she was frowning. We chuckled at her she even frowned as she drank her bottle. After her bottle and diaper change she stayed awake grouching and everything that moved. She was a funny little thing. She squealed in protest when Jaz laid her down to wrap her blanket a little tighter then was fine once he picked her up.

The nurse took Carly to the nursery for tests and a bath. So Jaz and I slept when I woke Jaz was gone. I looked around the room then grabbed my cell and saw a text message from Jaz.

'I went to get us some coffee and a couple muffins' J

"Hurry back' B I typed and I heard his cell phone chime in the hall way.

He came in and sat everything down and glanced at his phone. He face softened in to a smile and his eyes gleamed with mischief, "Was I speedy enough for ya?" as he sat beside me in the bed.

"I almost had time to miss ya!" I grinned. He chuckled handing me a coffee and a blueberry muffin. I drank the coffee and had a bite or two of the muffin but I wasn't really hungry.

"Carly should be back in about fifteen more minutes." He said.

"Good. I can't wait to get home and snuggle with my babies." I said.

"I know!" he said.

"Knock! Knock!" Rose said softly as She, Ethan, and Emmett came in to the room. Emmett was carrying a giant pink package in his arms. Ethan was in his kangaroo pouch as Jaz called it.

"Hey guys." Jaz said.

Emmett sat the package down beside the bed as Rose said, "Last night I was going to surprise you two with a baby shower but since Carly had a surprise of her own we just moved all the gifts except this one to your house. This one couldn't wait." Jaz picked it up and opened it. It was a car seat that matched the bedding in the nursery.

"Oh my gosh! Thanks guys! I love it." I gushed, "So you were planning a surprise shower for me!" I smiled.

We visited until we heard them bringing Carly back. Jaz had the bottle ready as scooped her up at the door and gave her a bottle. Emmett was amused at Jaz calling her Angry Girl. It was sad but that was quickly becoming his nickname for her. After she ate Emmett stole her and laughed as she grouched and growled at him too.

"She's just like Rosie!" he chuckled.

"Your lucky you're holding a baby." She said.

"Stay with me Angry Girl, protect me from Rosie!" he said to Carly.

"See even she's frowning at you!" Rose teased.

When the doctor came in he gave the nurse the ok to remove my catheter, and let me get up, and give me a clear liquid diet. Jaz and I exchanged a grin.

"I saw that!" Dr. Call said, "I suppose that muffin is yours?"

"You, but I wasn't hungry so I only had a couple bites." I said.

"Save the rest for later today!" he chuckled, "Once you have been up and around then you can have the rest."

It felt so good to get a shower and dress in my clothes. I was grateful to Esme for suggesting I pack a number of loose sundresses and my new "granny panties". I was sitting in the recliner watching Carly sleep. I visited with various family members that came in. Esme gushed over Carly and scolded Jaz for calling "this precious little angel angry girl!" Charlie chuckled but was silenced by the glare he received from Esme. Esme sat holding Carly for quite a while and was startled when she woke up howling proving her daddy's point.

"See?" Jaz chuckled as he handed Esme a bottle and Carly started growling while drinking it.

"Well, I would be angry too if everyone was calling me angry girl." Esme quipped then started cooing to Carly.

I was rested by noon and decided to go walking the hall when they came and got Carly for her hearing test. Dr Call was happy to see me up and around. He told me that if I was still doing this well tomorrow that I could go home. I was so excited. I wanted nothing more then to tuck Carly into her bed and play with Ali. I missed her so much and it had only been less then a day. I hoped she was having fun. Edward said she was the last time I called to check on her. I wanted to ask Jaz to go get her and have her stay the night at the hospital again but he still looked tired so I didn't. I planned to get up with Carly tonight and let him sleep since I was allowed to get up now. I was just taking ibuprophin and as long as I didn't try to move to fast really didn't have that much pain.

The next morning Dr Call came and released me to go home and within twenty minutes we were headed home. I called Edward to ask him to bring Ali home. He said as soon as she was finished eating he would clean her and Clair up and bring my Ali girl home.

Once we were home I fed Carly and then took her upstairs to her room and laid my sleeping angel in her crib. By the time I had made my way down the stairs I heard Edward and Jaz visiting in the living room. I sat in my oversized chair and settled in.

Ali hopped off of Jaz's lap and squealed "momma, momma!"

"Hey, sweet girl!" I said as I helped her climb into the chair beside me. She snuggled into my side and dozed off.

"She was up and down all night. She never got upset but she didn't sleep much." Edward admitted.

"We'll get into a routine." I said hugging Ali to me.

After Edward left Jaz took Ali up to her room and we lay down for a while. Jaz fell asleep almost instantly. I watched him sleep for a while and then went to get Carly's bottle ready so she wouldn't wake the whole house. As I reached the top of the stairs I heard Ali so I went and got her and took her to Carly's room with me. I closed the door and sat Ali down in front of the new toys that we had bought for Carly. Then scooped Carly out of her crib and sat down to rock her. Ali climbed up on my knees and held on to the bottle with me. I adjusted the girls so Ali was seated comfortable against my chest and started singing a lullaby. Before to long Carly was asleep and had finished her bottle. I looked at the girls and Carly had wrapped her chubby little fist into Ali's hand. Ali was smiling over adoringly at Carly. I thought if only this moment could last forever. I was pulled from my thoughts by a flash of a camera. I smiled up at Jaz as he stood in the doorway.

"I didn't know you were awake." I said softly.

"I just now woke up and heard you singing. The sight of you three was too precious not to take a picture of." He smiled coming to kneel on the floor beside us. We sat there until Ali got restless so Jaz took her and I put Carly back to bed and then we all went down stairs. Ali played with her kitchen set while Jaz and I snuggled on the couch. Carly started waking up every two and a half hours to eat and we were getting into a routine by the end of the day. By the end on the week we were in a good routine and I was feeling good. Jaz was set to take his bar exam at the end of next week. Life was good. Jaz was given the whole week paid to spend in the law office's Library with Jenks as a study partner.

The week went by quickly. Carly was beginning to fall into a routine. She slept three hour at a time during the day and three and a half at night. Ali was lovin' being the "big stis-ster" and getting to help out with Carly. Jaz was feeling confident about his test thanks to Jenks helping him.

On the Friday of the Bar exam Jenks went with him. The atmosphere that Morning had been tense I felt so bad for Jaz. He was so nervous. I told him that he was going to do great and sent him off. The day was fairly normal and that afternoon Jaz called excited to say that he had passed. My husband was a lawyer. I was so proud of him. He had worked so hard and now he was living his dream. I was glad that we were both chasing out dreams. I had a book signing at a lecture next month and Jaz was a lawyer. All was working out well for us.


	13. Chapter 13

I don't own Twilight*** Sorry it took so long to get the Chapter up

**Time jump** Jaz has a big trial he is working on and can not go with Bella to Seattle so she asked Esme to go with her. We are picking up a week before she leaves and I think it is time we hear from Esme.

Esme's POV

I was so excited for Jaz and Bella. They were both living their dreams. Bella had asked if I would go to Seattle with her and watch the girls while she was doing her book signing. I was alittle nervous about it but I agreed to go anyway.

I was putting away laundry while Charlie sat on the bed talking to me. We were having the same conversation that we have had for weeks now.

"Esme, you could just tell them." Charlie said gently.

"We have been through this over and over Charlie. If they know that I remember it could get awkward." I sighed.

"They aren't like that." He said softly.

"Charlie, what am I supposed to say to them, that holding Carly sparked a memory of when I had Ali? Should I tell them how much I miss being her mom? Or that is kills me when its time leave her? Charlie, I can't undo the past! She is their daughter. I won't fight that. I just need to get over it and be the grandma." I said.

"We are going to have to talk about it sooner or later, Esme. It's ripping you up inside." He said, "I'm not saying to undo the past. If Bella knew she would…" I interrupted him before he could finish his thought.

"She would feel guilty. She would beat herself up daily. I can't do that to her!" I said sadly.

"Why don't you talk to Dr. Black about it. You will be seeing him this afternoon." He suggested.

"I have thought about it but I just don't know what it will solve!" I said close to tears.

"Would you like me to go with you?" he asked.

"Ok." I said.

I finished laundry and then Charlie took me out for lunch before my appointment. I was so nervous about the appointment that I couldn't eat a thing. I ended up bringing it with me. In Dr Black's waiting room I paced the floor unable to be still. I felt awful. How on earth do you deal with wanting your daughter back but knowing that it would kill the people you love most in the world if you actually got your wish.

"Esme, are you ready?" Charlie asked. I nodded and gripped his hand tightly.

Once we were in the room I was even more restless and Dr. Black's watchful eyes made me squirm all the more. He smiled kindly, "Is this the visit we talk about what has been weigh on you for the last few weeks?"

Tears welled in my eyes and I nodded but remained silent. I looked to Charlie hopeful that he would take the lead and was relieved when he started talking.

"When Carly was born and we were passing her around Esme remembered the first time she held Ali. She has remembered more and more since then. She misses her." He told Dr. Black.

"What did Jasper and Bella say?" Dr. Black asked looking to me.

"I haven't told them." I whispered.

"Did you know that Bella and I have talked about this. We knew that this was a possibility and she had asked that I help the family navigate the situation. I would like to have a group discussion with Jasper, Bella, and the two of you." Dr Black said.

"Do they have to know?" I asked, "No one can erase the past. They Adopted her. She is their daughter now."

"Bella would be hurt if you didn't tell her." Charlie said sadly, "Either way, someone I love is hurting."

"Bella and I have talked extensively about this. Bella was adamant that if you ever remembered her that Ali should know her story. We discussed a visitation option. I had suggested that Ali stay an entire weekend with you all each month a weekly visits frequently. Bella is afraid of this day but she told me that when the day comes that we would find a solution that everyone could deal with. She said her first concern was for Ali. Ali has a right to know where she came from and get to know you. May I call Bella and have her and Jasper come in on this discussion?" Dr. Black asked.

I nodded uncertainly as Dr Black left the room. It wasn't but a minute than he came back into the room, "They are on their way. Jasper was going to take Bella to lunch this afternoon so they are just coming here."

It took five minutes for Bella and Jaz to come through the door. Bella looked so scared and my son just looked sad. They both hugged Charlie and me and took a seat on the couch opposite us. It was the first time that sitting in a room with the kids felt awkward. I felt like they thought I was going to steal their baby. I sat there nervously until Dr. Black started.

"You all are family and you love each other." He started. I calmed alittle when I saw that their heads were nodding as mine was. "You all love Ali and want what is best for her. I have talked with all of you about what you want and the possibility of visitation." Then turning to Bella, "I know Esme and Charlie come over and visit your girls frequently. How do you think Ali would do with a sleepover and their house?"

"She did ok when she stayed the night at Edward's. She didn't sleep much but she wasn't upset. I think she would do alright." Bella answered softly.

"Why don't we start there? It's Friday night would it be possible for Ali to spend tonight with you father and Esme?" Dr. Black asked, "If she gets upset then you can call Bella and she can come get her. If she knows that she can go home if she needs to that will make her feel more secure."

"That sounds good." I said.

"I know that this is a rough situation all the way around. It may be helpful for everyone to share what they are thinking and feeling." Dr. Black said, "Esme, will you please begin?"

Tears welled in my eyes as I looked at the kids, "I love you both so much! I am so thankful for everything you two have done. You rescued Me and Ali. You took us in and made us feel secure. You adopted Ali to ensure that she would stay safe and secure. She is your daughter and always will be. She knows you two as mom and dad. I won't change that. She is such a happy child and that is because of her mom and dad. I will cherish any extra time I get with her that you give me." Tears started falling down my face.

Tears were flooding down Bella's face, "Esme, I..." She took a deep breath and Jaz put his arm around her supportively, "I love you, too. I will give you as much time as possible with her. She loves you and she needs to have a relationship with you. I knew this day would come and I want to make this all right for everyone. When we adopted her they were saying you had Alzheimer's disease and that you were just lost to us. I am so thankful that you have come back to us." Then she came over and hugged me tight.

"How long ago did you remember, Mom?" Jaz asked softly looking on the verge of tears.

"I remembered holding Ali for the first time as I held Carly that day in the hospital. I have had more memories since then." I said.

"Why didn't you say something?" Bella asked.

"You all had so much going on. You didn't need anything else to deal with." I told her.

"Edward and Clair are at the house with the girls right now. Do you want to follow us out and pick her up? Her old crib from your house is in the storage ushed. We can load up all of her old stuff in dad's truck if you want while you are there." Bella said in a tight voice.

We all stood and thanked Dr. Black and then left.

"That went well." Charlie said.

"Yeah, it did." I said.

"Maybe instead of you going to Seattle with Bella, the girls can stay with us." He suggested.

"I don't think Bella is ready for that yet. She barely made it one night without Ali when she was in the hospital. This will be tougher on Bella then you think. We need to have Ali back early in the morning maybe we could take them to breakfast in the morning." I said.

"That's such a short visit." Charlie said.

"I know but to start out I think that would be best. I also want to invite them over for supper tonight. I want to make this as easy on the kids and Ali as possible." I said feeling torn between excited because I was getting to spend time with my daughter again and sad because I knew how hard tonight will be on Bella and Jaz. "If need be Ali can go home after dinner. I want them to know that if Ali is upset and wants to go home that she can."

I was surprised when we got there. Jasper and Edward had all of Ali's baby furniture on the porch. Charlie helped them load it while I walked into the house. Bella was playing with Ali and Clair. She looked up and smiled. "I'll go pack her bag." She said leaving me with the girls. Ali giggled when she saw me, "Maw-May" and came to me. I scooped her up and snuggled her close.

Bella was gone for only about ten minutes. When she returned she had a large duffle bag and explained that it had diapers, wipes, extra clothes and Pj's, Ali's lovey and blanket she sleeps with and a baby care kit incase Ali got sick while she was at the house. She looked to be doing well with this over night visit but I knew Bella well enough to know she would never show how this was affecting her.

"Bella, I was wondering if you would like to have dinner with us tonight?" I asked hopeful.

"That sounds good. What can I bring?" she smiled sounding a bit lighter.

"Sweetheart, I am ordering pizza. So there's really nothing to bring! Just come and hang out. A dinner at 6 sound ok?" I asked.

"We'll be there!" she said, "Esme, thanks! I know what you are doing and it does help!"

"This can't be easy on you. I just wanted to make it easier for you. If Ali wants to come home then that is fine. Bella, you know you can talk to me, right? Even about this." I told her.

"I know, Esme. I'm ok. She is your daughter." She said softly.

"And you are and always will be her Mom." I said.

She smiled, "Thank you! Her car seat is in the truck." She said carrying the bag out to the truck. All of Ali's things were loaded and the car seat was already installed into Charlie's truck. I handed Ali to over to get hugs and kisses bye and then Bella strapped her in the car seat. Then we were off.

Bella's POV

As I watched them drive off I felt as if someone was ripping the heart from my chest. I plastered on a convincing smile refusing to show anyone that this was killing me. Jaz had called work and they gave him the rest of the day off. Jaz was watching me suspiciously.

"How are you doing?" He asked seeing through me.

"I'm ok." I said.

"Well, I am going to take Claire and head out." Edward said watching us sadly.

Jaz and I walked back inside and I curled up on Jaz's lap on the couch. Jaz started rubbing my back and humming the lullaby.

"We are invited to dinner at Dad and Esme's tonight." I said quietly.

"That sounds fine." He said, "Now, how are you really?" he said.

"I'll be ok." I said hoping that it would get easier soon.

"Darlin, I know that this is hardest on you." He said.

"I went from being like a mother to Esme to her daughter-in-law overnight and now I am afraid that I am going to lose Ali too but then I feel like a terrible person for feeling like that! Esme is her real mom." I said as a tear broke through and slipped down my face.

"You are not a terrible person, Bella! Remember when you said that you felt like you were abandoning her? You're world is changing. We are still Ali's parents and we always will be. Think of it as she is having a sleepover at her grandparents house." He said.

"But what if tonight your mom decides that these visits aren't enough. What if she decides that she wants her back. If I was her I would want her back. Jaz, I can't lose Ali. It's hard enough getting used to Esme not living with us. Jaz, what do we do then? I can't fight Esme for custody and I can't live without Ali." I said having a hard time breathing and feeling like I was going to be sick.

"Just breathe baby. I talked to your dad. Esme isn't going to take Ali away from us. She wasn't going to tell anyone she even remembered. Your dad suggested she talk to Dr. Black and find a way to deal with her memories without telling us. Dr. Black told her about your talk and then persuaded her to talk to us. She plans to take us to breakfast tomorrow and then we will take Ali home from the dinner." He told me.

I popped up as I heard Carly and headed upstairs to get her. Jaz started in the kitchen to get the bottle ready. Carly had gotten a little better about not screeching as soon as she woke up and instantly calmed down once you picked her up. I scooped up my little girl and snuggled her in close then carried her down stairs. Jaz had settled into the couch again so I laid Carly in his arms. He rarely got to feed her during the day. He smiled down lovingly at her. I decided to take a long shower while Jaz was feeding Carly.

When I came out of the bathroom I went to the bedroom where Jaz was sitting on the bed studying me. "You don't know what to do with yourself." He observed.

That was an understatement. "Usually there is always something to keep me busy. I am outta sorts without something to do." I said.

"You need to learn how to relax. Your _long _shower only took ten minutes. Isn't there something that you would like to do for yourself?" he asked.

"Not really?" I said.

"Why don't you go call Rose? Tell her that I will watch Ethan here if she wants to have a mommy's day out." He suggested.

"You want to watch both infants?" I asked, "Do you realize what you are asking?"

"Yes, I do. Now, you get dressed and I will call Rosalie for you. She won't turn down a free sitter. Maybe you two could go riding!" he said calling Rose.

She of course jumped at the chance to get away and have some free time. She loved the idea of a ride. She was on the doorstep in about ten minutes and after laying Ethan down in Ali's bed she was ready to ride.

We saddled the horses and headed out.

"It was nice of you to think of me! I can't believe you got Jaz to watch both babies so we could do this. Em is afraid to be left alone with Ethan for more then twenty minutes." Rose laughed.

"Actually, Jaz suggested it." I said.

"WOW! Bless that man! Can you train Em for me." She laughed.

I chuckled too. This was fun but I was still worried about Ali and what this visit might mean for the future.

"Are you ok?" Rose asked, "You don't seem like yourself."

"Yeah, it's just been a… weird day." I said.

"Uh-oh! What happened?" she asked.

"Esme remembered having Ali." I said softly, "That's where Ali is today. That's why Jaz insisted I have some girl time."

"Are you alright? I mean your whole world revolved around Ali and Esme. Then when Esme got her memory back and you went with Jaz to school it was hard for you. Now this. Talk to me, Bells! I won't tell a soul." She said.

"Honestly, I don't know. I want to be ok with it but I'm just not there! We are going to start overnight visits. And I am already about to go crazy at just the thought. I don't know how I am going to do this! I can't fall apart, that would make things tougher on Ali and make Esme feel bad." I said pouring my heart out.

"So does she want visitation or does she want her back?" She asked.

"She says that Ali is our daughter and she just wants more time with her. But, Rose what if she changes her mind? I can't deal with losing Ali!" I said tears swelling up and pouring down my face.

"Oh Bella, I can't even imagine. Can she legally get her back?" she asked.

"I don't know. It's just awful to think about. I can't fight Esme for custody and I can't live with out Ali. It's a no win situation." I sobbed.

"Do you think that it's her intention to try to get her back?" she asked.

"No, not right now. But what if she changes her mind." I said trying to calm down.

"I don't think Esme would do that to you." She said trying to calm me.

"Think about if you where in her shoes and it was Ethan." I said miserably, "If it where me I would desperately want her back. Esme didn't willingly give her child away. She did nothing to lose her baby either. She was a victim of Carlisle's. I can't imagine being in her position. She's dating my dad, missing her daughter, who was adopted be her son and I. If Ali had been adopted by someone else I would be gearing up to help her fight to get her back."

"I see what you mean. What is the plan right now?" she asked.

"We ease into visitation. Eventually it will be every other weekend. She can see her as much as she wants though." I said starting to feel alittle better having said it out loud.

We rode along talking and finally the conversation turned to my book signing. I was excited about it but more then a little intimidated. I was going to be surrounded by physiologists and councilors who may or may not like the book. Rose laughed and asked since when did I need anyone's approval. She was right usually I didn't care but I was a little nervous. When we returned from our ride and put away the horses Jaz had two sleeping babies in his arms as he sat in the porch swing humming a soft melody. Rose snapped a picture of "The Baby Whisperer" and the kids. Jaz chuckled at the title and handed Ethan to his mother.

After Rose left, Jaz had put Carly to bed and we started getting ready to go to dinner. I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to leave Ali. Jaz sensing my tension wrapped his arms around me and whispered, "It's going to be ok."

I hoped he was right but had my doubts. Once we were dressed and ready to go. We put Carly in her car seat and headed to Dad and Esme's. When we came through the door Ali was playing with Esme and Daisy. I smiled at the sight. Ali was throwing a chew toy and Daisy would trot over and pick it up and deliver it to Ali to throw again. Esme had Ali on her lap and had to take the toy from Daisy, wipe the dog slobber off, and then give it to Ali to throw. Esme and Ali's peals of laughter warmed my heart. I smiled and carried Carly over to sit next to them. Esme swiped Carly and snuggled her in close. Ali alternated between the adults in the room. We ate dinner and the girls fell asleep. Esme asked if we wanted a night alone. Jaz's eyes sparkled at the idea and asked what I thought. It would be nice to have a night of uninterrupted sleep or our other activities that seemed Carly had radar for interrupting. I hated the thought of not having my babies with me. I was torn.

"Bella, if you aren't ready for them to stay at grandma's yet then we can wait till another time. You can take them home for the night." Esme smiled, "I had a ball spoiling Ali today and when you are ready for a break then you can ship them to grandma's house for the night. But I warn you it is a grandma's right to spoil them rotten before she sends them home! Bella I would love to have both of my granddaughters stay over night as soon as you are comfortable with it. I am keeping the crib set up and your dad and I are going to get another one for Carly."

"Esme, if you would like to watch the girls tonight that would be fine." I said uncertainly.

"You don't sound very sure." She said.

"It will be okay, I am alittle uneasy but only because things have changed so drastically in such a short time." I admitted, "It's just going to take some getting use to."

"Bella, I want to make sure you kids are ok. You have been through so much over the last little while. You deserve a break from all the drama." She said.

When it was time to go I tore myself away from the girls and we left with the promise of breakfast at nine in the morning. It felt strange to be at the house without the kids. It was way to quiet and there was nothing that I had to do. Jaz had started a movie and I snuggled into him but I kept getting up to wonder around the house. He finally turned it off and we went bed. After about twenty minutes I was up again.

Jaz sighed exasperated, "Bella, they're fine. They will be back in the morning!"

"I know but, well it's just to quiet!" I said.

"I know. I was hoping that since it is quiet and there will be no interruptions that we could talk." He said.

"Ok, What's on your mind?" I asked seeing something in his eyes.

"Well, you know dad's birthday is coming up and well, I was thinking of going to see him. We still don't have all of the answers as to why he would almost kill Mom or gave Ali away. I just want to know why he was so determined to keep me from having a mom!" he blurted out.

"We can do that." I said.

"Bells, this is something I think I need to do alone." He said quietly.

"Oh, ok. When would you go?" I said fighting hard to keep the dejected tone at bay.

"Next week" He said.

"Oh", was my brilliant supportive answer.

"Bells this is nothing to do with you. It's just I don't want to expose you or the girls to him. If I could get answers without seeing him, I would. Jenks is sending me to the prison to interview a witness Friday and so I was thinking I would question dad while I was there too." He said.

"Will you be ok?" I asked.

"I will be fine Darlin'!" he said kissing my cheek.

That night I was up and down a lot. I prowled the house waiting til it was time to go get my children. I cleaned the house from top to bottom, changed the girls' sheets, did all the laundry, fixed a couple of buttons on Jaz's shirt, and was sweeping the porch when I felt two strong arms wrap around me.

"Babe, you are going to wear yourself out. Come to bed." Jaz whispered pulling me up to bed.

I lay awake in his arms staring at the ceiling. He nuzzled my neck and started humming a familiar melody. I closed my eyes and let the tune wash through me. I thought back to when we were kids and felt myself drift off to sleep.

I bounced out of bed as the alarm clock and started getting ready. Jaz sat up and looked at me as if I had lost my mind but slowly got out of bed and started getting ready for the day. I was practically bouncing around the kitchen when Jaz walked in. I handed him his coffee and went back to mine.

"Are you sure you really need coffee, Darlin'?" He teased as I flitted around the kitchen.

"Yes! I do need my coffee!" I said then looked pointedly at his bare feet, " You need to get ready to go! We are going to be late!"

He chuckled and left the kitchen carrying his coffee. I went to sit on the porch and wait for him. I just wanted to see my babies. I hated being away from them. Ten minutes later Jaz was driving us to the diner.

We arrived first and so we got a table and waited. I was excited when I saw them walk in. Jaz squeezed my hand and smiled. Ali crawled up on my lap and snuggled in and I hugged her tightly. Carly was sleeping in her infant seat so Jaz sat the seat in the chair beside him. They both looked tired.

"Did Carly keep you up last night?" I asked sympathetically.

"No. She woke up at midnight and again at 5 for a bottle. Ali was up and down all night long. The never was upset she just wanted Esme to lay down with her or a drink, or wanted to read a book." Charlie chuckled, "I had forgotten how exhausting having little ones in the house can be."

"You look wiped out to." He said concerned.

"Yeah, I stayed up late catching up laundry and odds and ends I don't have time for during the day." I said.

"Can I have them come over Monday morning? I could come get them around 9 and then Jaz could pick them up on his way home." Esme ask hopefully.

"Yeah, I have to run some errands on Monday." I said feeling a little uneasy but knowing that the girls would be fine.

The meal went well and by the time we left for home Carly was awake and looking round. The girls and dad had drawn quite a crowd. All of Dad's fishing buddies loved to see his grandbabies.

Once we where headed home Jaz smiled and announced tenderly that he was going to ask for Monday morning off." Winking suggestively.

I smiled weakly, "That will help pass the time."

His smile faltered and he said softly, "It will get easier."

"I know." I said trying to sound ok. The truth was that I felt on the verge of panic when the girls were not with me. Even though I knew that the girls were in good hands and were safe and happy there.

The weekend went great. We played with the girls and hosted a big family dinner with everyone. Then after church Sunday Morning Em and Rose had a cookout and visited. Sunday night we invited Edward and Maria over for dinner because Edward wanted to talk to Jaz. At dinner that night Edward and Maria announced that they were getting married. I was so excited for them. Jaz was going to be Edward's best man and I was completely shocked when Maria asked if I would be her maid of honor.

"We wanted to tell you guys first." Edward said, "If not for you to I would not be living this life. Bella, you helped me to forgive myself and taught me that I had a lot of growing up to do. I thank both of you for your forgiveness and your love. I am so lucky to have you two as a brother and sister-in-law."

"Well, I guess there is something that I need to say to you then. And that is, Welcome to the family Maria!" He said pulling them into a hug. Edward pulled me into the hug too.

I fixed us all some tea and we went to sit in the living room were Ali and Clair were passed out in the floor from playing so hard. Maria and I scooped up our babies and took seats next to our guys. We made small talk and then made plans to have Dad and Esme as well as Maria's mom over so they could tell them their news. I would have fajitas and a small cake and an abundance of wine for after dinner. Maria and I made plans for shopping Monday afternoon since Esme would have the girls.

Monday morning I felt a little less panicky when Esme showed up to get the girls. I had a box packed with an extra can of formula, a bag of diapers, a box of wipes, extra bottles and clothes for Esme to just keep at her house. We chatted easily and even had coffee while Jaz feed Carly a bottle. When it was time for Esme to go I kissed my girls bye and helped to load them in the car. I stood on the porch watching Esme drive away and was surprised to find that I didn't feel as if the world was ending.

Jaz and I went back to bed. It had been awhile since we had the energy to be intimate and reconnect.

At noon when we finally let go of each other had left over lasagna and garlic bread. Jaz had to go back to 1 so he hopped in the shower and took me along to keep him "company" which I was eager to do. After each of us was showered and dressed we headed out Jaz to work and me to Edward and Maria's house. Maria was running late so I told Edward that I would watch Clair. He smiled and told me that he was dropping her off with Grandma-may's house. I sat on the couch and waited for Maria. After about ten minutes she was home and changed and we were walking out the door to go shopping. We found a wedding planner book and bought it. She wanted a huge formal wedding and I told her Esme was her perfect wedding planner. She could do formal on a tight budget. When we finally got to my house we started cooking supper and preparing everything for the evening guests. Edward and Jaz got to the house at the same time. Edward and Jaz set the table while we put the final touches on supper. Dad, Esme and Mrs. Clark, Maria's mom were seated by the time I started setting the food on the table. We all sat down and supper started. We ate and chattered happily through supper and through most of dessert when Edward stood up and pulled Maria up. I smiled when I realized that he had knelt down and took her hand.

"Maria, you know that I love you. I have never really envisioned the future until recently and I never want to spend a day with out you in it. Will you marry me?" Edward asked slipping a ring on Maria's hand.

Tears welled in Maria's eyes as she said yes.

Everyone was silent; tears flowed from both mothers in the room. After everyone had hugged and congratulated the bride and groom to-be conversation turned to planning their wedding. We sat in the living room and visited about what they wanted and what they didn't. Maria wanted roses and lace and all things frilly. She, her mother, and Esme started planning and Esme pulled Edward into the planning. Jasper chuckled and shook his head when Edward looked pleadingly at him and mouthed 'HELP ME!' I giggled and ask the same of him.

"Bella, did you ever tell your dad about that meadow you found?" He asked.

"No! We should show him? Dad do you feel like going for a ride?" I asked dad.

"I GO RIDE!" Ali screamed as she flew into my dad's arms.

He chuckled, "Well, I guess!"

"I ride?" Clair asked meekly looking hopeful.

Charlie looked to Edward and Maria before he answered. When Maria nodded he grinned and scooped Clair up to, "Yep! You can ride too."

Jaz and I saddled the horses and then tossed Ali on in front of my and Clair in front of dad. We took off riding toward the trail. The girls were delighted to be riding and pointed out all of the things that we saw. We all rode side by side and dad grinned sheepishly.

"I kinda feel bad that we left poor Edward alone with the mommas." He said.

"He's a big boy and besides that, better him then me!" I chuckled.

"Yes but he mouthed help at Jasper." Then looking at Jaz, "And I know you saw him."

"Yes I did but I also saw my wife ask to be rescued too. She knows where I sleep, so I kinda have to side with her." He teased.

We rode until almost dark then headed back home. When we reached the barn Edward trotted out to get Clair. Jaz hopped down and grinned as Edward backed away from the horses.

"Edward," I said leading Diesel over to him, "There is nothing to be afraid of. Meet Diesel!" As if in cue Diesel slowly nuzzled Edward's leg. Edward nervously stepped out of reach of the enormous gray horse but did brush his fingers acrossed Diesel's cheek.

Clair and Ali stood near Edward and loved on Diesel while we unsaddled the horses. Edward looked petrified as he stood there in front of Diesel. When I came back from taking the horses to the pasture dad had taken the girls to the house and the guys were visiting. When I walked up Edward growled playfully, "You turned my brother in to a trader!"

"Is it any wonder? You can't do for me what she can!" Jaz quipped. I turned red and smacked Jaz's arm.

"True!" Edward agreed shuffling uncomfortably.

"Sorry, I never even though of embarrassing you, Darlin'. I was just popping off to my brother." He said.

"I know but it's just that, it's awkward giving the history." I said.

A flash of realization crossed his face, "Crap! Things are so good between us and everyone is in a good place right now that it's easy to forget that part of our lives. I'm sorry I never even thought!" Jaz said, "Edward, I didn't mean to bring up…"

"Jaz, it's alright! It seems like a lifetime ago. I don't think of Bells like that anymore. I just think of her as my sister-in-law and a friend." Edward chuckled, "Your different with him! You're stronger, happier. I guess just, complete, you know!"

"Like Maria is with you!" Jaz said,

"I guess when you find your missing piece it just changes you!" He said, "I am happy you have each other. I think deep down I always know that you belonged together but well you know how the story went." He said.

"Yes, that's ancient history. We are all happy now!" I said.

We headed back to the house when we saw Dad and Maria head outside with the kids. There was the sound of a very loud spirited argument coming from the house. Maria was upset and Edward pulled her into his arms. Dad told us that Mrs. Clark just learned the identity of Edward's ex-wife and remembered the rumors and was outraged. About that time Mrs. Clark came storming out of the house and up to Edward trying to pull Maria away from him but he shuffled Maria behind him. Maria clung to him and was visibly shaking. I told dad to get the kids out of here. He and Esme left with the three babies.

"You're dangerous!" She ranted, "My daughter will not marry you! You stay the hell away from her and Clair."

"It's really not up to you." Maria said defiantly.

"It may not be up to me whether you marry him but I'll be damned if my granddaughter will be living with a man who has such a violent temper. So help me Maria, I will involve Child Protective Services if I have to." She said her voice shaking.

"TIME OUT!" Jaz's voice boomed. Everyone stopped. All was quiet except for Maria's sobs, "Now, we are all going into the house and we are going to sort out fact from rumors." Everyone stood shocked for a moment until Jaz said, "Can you put on some coffee, Darlin'." Everyone started toward the house when Jaz spoke again.

"Maria and Edward, I would like a word with you!" he spoke with such authority that Mrs. Clark continued following me to the house and had begun to cry. In the house I quickly got the coffee going and then looked up to see her eyeing me.

"Is it true he put you in the hospital?" she asked.

"Let me tell you the truth about what happened?" I asked.

She collapsed to the floor sobbing, "Oh dear God it's true. He's going to beat up my baby and there's nothing I can do about it." She repeated sobbing hard.

"It's not like that." I said gently sitting in the floor in front on her, "It was an accident!" She looked up at me still sobbing but was at least willing to listen.

"Edward and I weren't right for each other. I had left him." I began.

"Did he?" she asked.

"He had never laid a hand on me. After the divorce he let me stay her although it was his brothers farm and he moved in with his mom. Jaz and I stayed here together for awhile. When Jaz and I got together Edward had the misfortune of being the first one to discover us and he felt betrayed. He had walked up to the door and saw me sitting on Jaz's lap and we were kissing. He pounded on the door and Jaz went to answer it neither of them realized that I was following Jaz. He opened the door and Edward threw a punch at him. Jaz sidestepped the punch. I was standing directly behind Jaz and didn't realize what was happening. When Jaz moved out of the way it put me in line with Edward's fist. I don't remember much about that day past that moment. I do remember seeing the look in Edward's eyes at that moment it was to late for me to get out of the way and to late for him to stop. I saw the horror in his eyes when he realized what was happening. Jaz told me that I fell back and hit my head. It was a terrible accident. Edward would never have hit me on purpose. Yes, he lost his temper and he did fully intend to hit his brother but I was never his intended target. He has worked hard to overcome his reputation. He is not a violent man and I know he would never lay a hand on Maria or Clair, Mrs. Clark." I said.

She met my gaze and asked, "Why did you leave him."

Edward cleared his throat and spoke softly, "Because I was an idiot! I was jealous that her paycheck was bigger then mine and I felt inadequate. Instead of talking to her, like I should have, I turned to someone else. She caught me with her and that is why we got divorced." He paused and she was glaring daggers at him. He knelt in the floor in front of her

"Mrs. Clark, I don't know what the future holds for Maria and I. I know that I love her and Clair with everything that I am. I know that I have to make this right with you because I won't be the reason that Maria loses her daughter. Please, will you talk to me? I will tell you anything you want to know. Even if it doesn't paint a very flattering picture of me." Edward said.

"Why should I trust you?" She growled, "This is my baby and grandbaby we are talking about."

"I know. You have no reason to trust me. You don't know me that well and you have heard a terrible story from my past. I can tell you that I never meant to hurt Bella. After I did, I signed up for anger management counseling. All I can do is earn your trust." He said.

"I am staying awhile longer. I don't trust you." She said in a firm voice. I was impressed with her. Although she was visibly terrified of Edward, she was still protecting her daughter and granddaughter. I just hoped she could see that Edward was not a danger to them.

"Ok. I know I will have to prove myself to you." Edward said standing and offering her a hand up. She flinched a little then stood on her own careful to avoid his hand. Edward dropped his hand and led the way to the living room where Jaz and Maria were seated on the couch. Jaz had an arm around her talking gently to her and Maria seemed about to crumble. Jaz moved and Edward sat beside her. Jaz and I sat on the love seat and Mrs. Clark took a seat in the chair.

"I realize that this is a difficult situation. It would have been better if Edward and Maria had talked to you about his past. You should have heard it from Edward himself. Maria and I have been talking about solutions. We heard you say you are staying and I think that is great. You can get to know Edward." He said to her.

"I don't want him around Clair! I don't want him in the house." She said.

Maria's silent tears started flowing again as she said quietly, "But he lives there too."

"My I make a suggestion?" I asked Jaz looked over knowing what I was about to say and nodded in support, "Edward, why don't you stay with us until you gain Mrs. Clark's trust?"

"If that will help gain your trust I will do it." He said sadly to her. Maria clung to him visibly shaking.

"I doubt you can earn my trust young man. My daughter and Granddaughter are the most important things in the world to me and you are a threat. I will protect them however I can. I am sure you are a nice guy but what happens if you lose your temper are hurt one of them?" she said, "I apologize for screaming at you earlier. I should have sat down and had a civil conversation with you. There is no excuse for me acting like a crazy person." She said.

"I understand. I respect that you are protective of Maria and Clair. I see that you love them and it's because of that, that I am not angry with you. I know that if I thought one of them was in danger I would do what ever I had to, to save them. I will prove to you that I am not a danger to your daughter. I promise you that." Edward said, "I am going to go pack a bag and then I will be back."

Maria pulled herself together enough to speak, "You will not stay in my house." She spat at her mother, "How dare you interfere! This is BS and I won't have it! Edward, you're staying in our home."

"Maria," Edward said pulling her into his arms, "Come take a walk with me."

They walked outside and we all heard Maria crumble. Her pleas for Edward to stay with her were heartbreaking.

"I suppose everyone hates me now." Mrs. Clark said softly.

"No, Mrs. Clark! We don't hate you. I get it. Trust me, I wanted to rip him apart after the accident. I knew it was me he was after but I cringed at the thought of if he came after me again and Bella got caught in the crossfire. It took awhile." Jaz said moving to the coffee table in front of her.

"She's not going to forgive me anytime soon." She said sadly.

"Edward's working on that now." I said quietly.

"How do you know that? He is probably adding gasoline to the fire." She glowered.

"Now that's not fair, you don't know him well enough to make assumptions like that. It's killing him that she is hurting right now and he would do anything to make it stop and making things worse between you two would just cause her more pain. He will try to calm her down and then try to make things as ok for her as he can. He won't do anything to hurt your daughter." Jaz said firmly.

"Sorry, that was out of line." She said.

"Just try to get to know Edward before you judge him." I said.

"I'll try." She said.

Edward and Maria were gone about an hour and when they came back Maria tossed her mother's bags at her feet, "You can check your self into a hotel. I don't want you in our home unless Edward is there." Then turned to Edward, "I love you. I will see you for lunch before I pick up Clair from your mom's house." She said tearfully and then left without a word to anyone.

"Can someone drive her? She's too upset to be driving." He said in a tight voice.

"Of coarse." Jaz said. Jaz had a way of calming people down when they were on the edge.

"Can I use your phone to book a hotel? Then I guess I will need a ride." Mrs. Clark said.

"You can have the guest room Mrs. Clark. I will take the couch." Edward said before taking her bags up to the guestroom for her on his way to the shower.

"I couldn't do that, after…" she said.

"What better way to get to know Edward then to stay here?" I reasoned.

"I guess I can stay tonight. I promise I will be out of your hair tomorrow." She said. I showed her to the guestroom then went to the bedroom. Esme called to tell me that the girls were all asleep and asked if they could just stay. I told her that was fine. I heard the bathroom door and them talking.

"Edward?" She called.

"Yes ma'am." He answered.

"Can we talk?" she asked.

I heard him shuffle into the room and then the door creak closed. I fixed me a glass of mine and walked out to the porch to wait on Jaz. The sun had already set and the moon and stars where gorgeous. I sat contemplating the events of the day and hoping that it would work out well for the people I cared about. I finally gave up waiting of Jaz and went back in to find both Edward seated on the loveseat and Mrs. Clark seated in the chair anxiously in the living room.

"Any word from Jaz?" Edward asked.

"Not yet. Edward, he won't leave her alone while she's upset." I assured him. I knew my husband would do anything in his power to comfort Maria.

"Maybe you should call him?" Mrs. Clark suggested.

"Mrs. Clark, that would only make Maria feel bad for keeping Jaz there." I said gently.

"Please, call me Mindy. I see your point Bella." She said.

I sat on the couch and propped my feet on the coffee table. Edward disappeared into the kitchen and emerged with coffee. He handed Mindy and I each a cup and then sat back down. I turned on the TV to fill the awkward silence that radiated through out the room. Jaz had been gone for two and a half hours and the tension was growing by the minute. My phone lay on the coffee table and we were all ignoring the TV watching it praying it would ring. Three hours passed and still no word. I had a feeling poor Jaz was having a rough time consoling Maria. Edward got up and went out to the porch started pacing.

"I am sorry all of this is putting you out." Mindy said softly, "I just can't stand the thought of anything happening to Maria or Clair. Maybe I should take this time to try to get to know Edward."

"Mindy, let him be for now. He's upset and worried about Maria. He needs to be alone right now." I told her. I didn't want him to say something that he might regret later.

"Maybe your Jasper should just bring her back here. No one is going to get any sleep anyway and everyone is upset." She said. I saw Edward pause and head inside.

"She may have a point." He said, "Nothing is being solved. We all need to talk this out."

I sighed as Edward called Jaz. This was going to be a long night. Ten minutes later Jaz pulled up followed by a Jenks car. Edward flew out to the passenger door. Jaz came into the house looking frazzled.

"How is she?" Mindy asked.

"Ok now. We went and woke one of my bosses. Maria has retained legal council. She and Edward are talking with him now and then they will all come in." Jaz said gently.

"She's got a lawyer?" Mindy said.

"Yes, mom I did! You threatened to try to take Clair from me. I wanted to see if you could actually do it. Now that I know you can't, Edward is coming home I will drop you off at the hotel of your choice." Maria said firmly.

"Baby, don't do something you will regret! We all need to cool off and then deal with things." Edward told Maria, "Lets just all go home."

"No! She's not staying at the house." Maria insisted.

"She can stay here." I said, "You can come over for dinner tomorrow and we will talk things over calmly."

After Edward and Maria left everyone went to bed. I hated the whole situation. This was the ultimate Monster Monday. Poor Jaz was asleep before his head hit the pillow and I could hear Mindy sobbing softly down the hall. I fell into a restless sleep that ended way to soon. I groaned as the alarm started screaming. I rolled out of bed and went to make breakfast.

Jaz and I had breakfast and then he had to go to work. I tiptoed around down stairs not wanting to wake Mindy who was still sleeping. By noon I had put the final touches on my talking points for my book signing and had read over them enough that I knew them by heart. I had emailed a copy to Kate and to Dr. Denali. I was ready. I had just finished lunch and sat down to work on a new book idea that Kate had given me when Mindy came down the stairs. She was impeccably dressed, with her hair fixed and make-up done. If I hadn't saw her yesterday I would never have known anything was wrong. She smiled a carefully composed smile that did alot to mask the pain and fear in her eyes but not quite. She sat beside me on the couch quietly.

"There's coffee in the kitchen and Pot Roast in the crock pot still warm for you." I said softly.

"Thank you, Bella!" she said rising slowly to go get her meal.

I moved to the table with her and visited while she ate.

"I made 630 you all reservations tonight and you all will settle all of this over dinner. And Edward wants to come and visit you, is that's ok." I said.

"That's fine. Will you be here when he comes?" she said in an uncertain voice.

"Yes. Would you like me to let him know?" I asked seeing her nod stiffly.

Five minutes later Edward and Mindy were sitting in the living room.

"Mrs. Clark, I want to make this right." He began, "I hate that you are afraid of me."

"Afraid?" She repeated meekly.

"I can see that you are. I have asked the therapist I worked with when I did my anger management classes for a copy of my file." He said sliding a folder across the coffee table and waited while she read it. She looked up at him with watery eyes.

"I am sorry that happened to you. I will give you a chance Edward but I will be keeping a careful eye on you." She said.

"I talked to Maria last night and she has agreed to bring you home with us after the dinner tonight. I was going to see if you wanted to come with me now to pick up Clair and take her to the park." He said with a patient smile.

"Yes, that will be fine." She said still alittle wary, I will need a minute to gather my things." After she went up stairs Edward picked up the folder and then smiled sadly at me.

"I dealt with a lot of issues that I had then. I wish I hadn't put you through so much grief with my retreating away from my feelings." He said gently.

"Edward, its in the past. I am glad you found your way through it. You deserve to be happy. I'm glad you have Maria and Clair. Things have worked out for the best." I said trying to squash the curiosity about what was in that folder.

"If you want I will leave this for you." He said with a knowing look, "I have nothing to hide. It might explain some things about why we didn't work."

"No, it's not my business. Edward that's personal, you should take it." I stumbled.

"I'm going to sit it on your table and you can decide later." He said as he dropped the file and went to help Mindy carry her bags down stairs. After they were gone I called Esme and she brought the girls home. They where both asleep so Esme and I had a nice quiet visit.

We discussed the whole mess with Edward, Maria, and Mindy. She told me that Mindy had apologized to her for her actions but she still didn't like Mindy. She ranted about how far Edward had come dealing with all the shit in his past and how his father should be shot for all the pain that he put him through. The conversation turned to Jaz. Some how she had found out about his plans to visit Carlisle. She was hurt.

"He wants to know why he almost killed you." I said, "He is going to be up there any way so he decided to go ask him."

"It will be his birthday soon and I figured that he would go to see him but I just didn't expect it to hurt this bad. He is Jaz's father." She said.

"Don't tell Jaz that! Jaz has come to think of Pop's as a father figure. Carlisle was never there for Jaz ever! It was always dad and then later it was Dad and Pops. Jaz doesn't want anything to do with him. I think this is more about finding closure then anything else. He doesn't want anyone to go with him. I don't even think he wanted anyone else to know." I said.

"The prison notified Charlie of the visit. I won't say anything to him." She said.

"Thank you. He wouldn't want to hurt you. He told me that you were the only one of his parent that ever actually gave a damn about him. You are and always will be his momma!" I told her.

That evening Esme and Dad where going to Edward and Maria's to watch Clair while Maria, Edward, and Mindy went to dinner. I was so glad to be left out of that mess. It seemed like it was going to work out but it was still stressful.

I had Jaz bringing home a pizza and we were just having a quiet family night. Ali was playing with her toy set and Clair was dozing in the playpen down stairs when Jaz walked through the door. He looked around and grinned when he realized that it was actually going to be just us. Jaz set the pizza on the table and then picked up the file Edward had laid there.

"What's this?" He asked.

"Edward's counseling file. He brought it to let Mindy read then left it for me to read." I told him.

"Did you read it?" He asked.

"No. I'm not sure I want to." I said, "I told him that and he left it anyway."

"Why don't we just deal with this another day." He said stashing the folder in the kitchen.

"That sounds good." I said.

We ate pizza and snuggled with the girls on the couch until bedtime when Jaz took Ali up to bed and read her a story and tucked her in. She was becoming such a daddy's girl. I took Carly and gave her a bottle and rocked her sleep. I helped Jaz finish cleaning up and then we curled up in bed. I loved lying in his arms with my ear next to my chest his heart was relaxing to listen to. I fell asleep in total bliss.

I was awakened with a kiss the next morning and breakfast in bed. I was amazed that Jaz was such a good cook. We visited while we ate our cream cheese stuffed French toast and southwest omelets. His day was going to be light and he would be home early.

When Jaz left for work I cleaned house and then woke the girls up. I spent the day fussing over them. I loved my daughters and wanted to make sure that they had tons of memories to look back on. I hated that I was robbed of the chance to have memories of my own mother and was going to be sure that my girls had an abundance of things to recall. I took them out to see the horses. They both loved Shadow. We played on the swings until Carly's morning nap then I let Ali mix a batch of sugar cookies and rolled it out for her. She selected the horse cookie cutter, pushing the rest away from the dough. Then cut out all of the cookies with the horse. She ate a couple of cookies with Lunch and then when down for a nap. I feed Carly a bottle and then we danced across the living room with Carly giggling and squealing. She was such a happy baby now, a marked improvement from the first couple of weeks with her.

** Small time jump! Bella took the girls and Esme with her on her book-signing weekend**

Bree's POV

My phone rang just after Rylie left for work, "Hello?"

"Bree, don't hang up." Mom ordered.

I don't know why but I obeyed, maybe it was all the years of being trained to be a good little daughter.

"Are you there?" she asked.

"I'm here." I said meekly. I hated the way that I bent to her will.

"I saw Rylie leave. I am parked outside now. I want to come in and talk." She said.

"Yeah, sure. Come on in." I stammered.

I walked over to the door and opened it. I saw mom pulling into the driveway. She walked up to me and smiled.

"You're looking good." She said.

"Thanks." I said stepping aside to allow her entrance then leading her to the living room. We sat down and then my mother started speaking, "I am surprised you are talking to me after everything."

"You're my mother. If there is a chance to have a good relationship with you then I will take it. I always felt there was always some kind of wall between us growing up." I told her and was shocked at the next words from her mouth.

"Well, there was something between us. I will tell you if you really want to know but trust me when I tell you that you don't. I have protected you from it for all these years." Mom said.

"But, you didn't. Not really. I knew there was something and I tried my hardest to be good enough to overcome whatever it was but I never was. I never felt good enough." I said softly.

"Bree, are you really asking?" she asked me.

"Yes, mom. What was it? Was it Carlisle? Why was I never good enough?" I asked.

"Bree, my life was perfect once. Carlisle and I were happy. Then I got pregnant with a girl and things changed. After you were born Carlisle grew distant. When you turned three he entered you in your first pageant and low and behold you won it. After that it was expected that I keep you in the pageant circuit. He wanted nothing to do with you or me. He wouldn't let my play with Jasper because of you. At first it was easy to stuff the resentment down and play with you but after we were forced to leave it was harder. It was just you and me. You would cry for them, tell me how you wanted to go home and then throw a tantrum when I told you that we couldn't go back. You were always so difficult. Bree, I resent you for it. Your teenaged years, the lying, the drinking, the embarrassment of having everyone know that my daughter was a delinquent." She told me.

"Get out." I said, tears burned at my eyes but I willed them away. I wasn't about to let her see me shed one more tear for her.

"Fine, I will call you later when you're a little less dramatic." Mom said as she left. I picked you the phone and called work to tell them I was going to have to take a personal day and then called Rylie and told him I needed him. When he asked what was wrong I crumbled. I don't think he understood a word of what I was telling him but I stayed on the phone with me. I heard him tell his boss that there was an emergency at home and that he had to get to me. He tried to calm me down over the phone as he drove home. Only when he walked through the door did he hang up. I was curled up on the couch sobbing and gasping for breath. He scooped me into his lap and held me. He told he how wonderful I was and how much he loved me. After twenty minutes of sobbing and gasping for air I was finally able to gain so semblance of control. I rested my head in the crook of his neck and just breathed in his calming scent. Rylie didn't ask for an explanation he just held me. When I was finally ready I took a deep breath and started talking before I lost my nerve.

"Mom stopped by." I said.

"That explains a lot. What did she say this time?" he said softly.

"That she resented me." I choked out tears sliding down my face.

"Baby," He pulled me into a tight hug and held me. I fell asleep in his arms and when I woke up I was in bed and I could hear low voices down the hall. I walked into the bathroom and fixed my hair and face. Then I went to see who was at the house. I was surprised to see Jaz visiting with Rylie neither of them sounded happy.

"Rylie?" I said.

"Hey Babe. Jaz a visit too. I guess she was hoping to see the kids." Rylie said.

"I never thought I would be glad that Bella and the girls were out of town. My children will never have to deal with her brand of crazy, ever. I can't believe I subjected Ali to her." Jaz said.

"She wasn't crazy then." I said as my big brother pulled me into a hug.

"I am so sorry you had to deal with her. All the times I wished that you were home and hoped you were safe and happy. Bree, I wish I could have been there for you." He whispered.

"You're here now, Jaz." I said.

I felt Jaz stiffen and knew something was up.

"What's wrong?" I asked just as she started pounding on the door.

"Bree, Bree! I'm sorry!" came Victoria's sobs from the other side of the front door.

"Not. Now. Victoria! You have done enough damage for one day!" Rylie growled.

"Please! Bree, I didn't mean to say it. I wasn't ever going to tell you." She sobbed.

"Go. away!" Rylie growled again.

"Bree, Please!" she tried again. I was sobbing silently into Jaz's chest.

"I will call the police if you don't leave now!" Rylie snarled through the door.

"I'm entitled to see my daughter! You can't stop me Rylie!" she snarled back.

Jaz called his father-in-law and mom was escorted off of the property. I cried a lot that weekend. I was processing what my mother had said to me. There were a lot of things that she had said over the years and things she had done and they were bubbling to the surface. She had always made sure to keep me feeling inferior.

_I remember when I was in the second grade and I came home excited. I had life figured out! I told her that I was going to be a veterinarian when I grew up. I was so proud until she said, 'You have to be smart to be a veterinarian, Bree. That day I learned that I was not smart. So, I gave you on that dream. Nothing I ever did was good enough for her. Then there were the extra-curricular activities that she wasn't interested in. I always caught a ride with a friend because she was far too busy to go see me on the debate team. When I told her I was going to law school she opted for sarcasm saying, 'Well Good Luck with that.' My mother never supported me in anything I ever did. _

Even after all of that I still craved her approval. I think that is why I still let her in. I am hoping for approval that I will never receive.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~AN~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Victoria has a lot of psychological issues that were never dealt with. While she truly loves her children she can't figure out how to show it!

Jaz POV

Friday morning I packed my babies into the car and had to stuff down the lump in my throat. After a long kiss goodbye from Bella she drove away. I was dreading this weekend. I decided to have coffee at the diner because the house was too quiet. I was about to leave when my mother pulled in.

"Great" I muttered as I locked the door and continued down the stairs.

_"Jaz, Hi." She said stepping out of her car._

_"Hello Mom." I said._

_"I came to see my grandbabies." She said._

_"They aren't here. They are gone for the weekend." I informed her._

_"Where are they?" she demanded, "I came to see my grandkids."_

_"Away." I growled, "I am not sure I want the kids around you right now." _

_"What does that mean?" she demanded._

_"Mom, I can't do this right now!" I said suddenly feeling tired, "I have a meeting to get to." Walking away to my car._

_"This is far from over! Do you hear me!" She shouted. _

_I got in my car and drove away. I made a mental note to call and warn Bree about 'Mommy Dearest' being in town. I drove to the diner, ordered my coffee and pulled out my phone to call my sister but the battery was dead. I would have to call her from the office. I enjoyed my coffee and chatted with a couple of ol' farmers that were regularly at the diner and then headed to the office. I was met at the door By Jenks. HE told me I needed to get to my sisters house fast. I sprinted back to my car. The drive to Bree's seemed to take forever. When I got there Rylie was rocking my sister who was limp in his arms. For a moment I was terrified that she was injured or worse. Ry held up a finger and took Bree to the bedroom. When he can back he told me that my mother had paid her a visit. I was livid. I hated that I didn't call her from the house or from the diner. I decided to talk to mom at my house tonight. I was going to file a restraining order against her to keep her away from our families this afternoon and the temporary order would be served to her tonight. _

_When Bree came in we stopped talking about the restraining order. I was talking to Bree when I saw Victoria pull up I was so angry. She started banging on the door screaming for Bree. She clung to me and I held my baby sister close and reached for Rylie's phone. I called Charlie and within minutes he was escorting her off of the property. _

_"Why don't you all stay at the house for the weekend? I have a gate at the end of the driveway to keep her out." I said handing Rylie my house key, "There is a padlock in the entrée way table drawer to lock the gate with the spare key. I have a key on my key ring. I have to run to the office and take care of some things and then I will be out." _

_Rylie took the key and Bree padded off to go pack. _

_"I'm going to need her phone and I will meet with our mother here. I am going to get it taken care of before I come home." I said as Rylie handed me Bree's phone. _

_I stayed until they where headed to the farm and then I headed to work. I called Jenks from the road and explained the situation and was grateful to him when he and Anthony had already drawn up the paperwork and faxed it to the courthouse. A half our later I was back at Bree's. I sent mom a text from Bree's phone and she eagerly rushed over. She was surprised when I answered the door and she was served with the restraining order. She screamed profanity at me that would have made a sailor blush. After she was escorted off the property again I headed home. I was given the rest of the day to work from home and would meet with the inmate next week when he was brought to town for the trail. _


	14. Chapter 14

Sorry it took so long to get this chapter up! I have no excuse except that my brain shifted to the future for Jasper and Bella and so I had to stop and type that up before I could shift back to this chapter. As always, I don't own Twilight and Reviews are appreciated.

Bella's POV

I was so tired and ready to go home. I had loved the book signing and had made a lot of new friends but I just couldn't wait to snuggle into the loving arms of my hubby. 'After breakfast I can go home.' I sighed to myself as I parked the car. I was so tired I just wanted to sleep but I knew I had to pack up the room and get it at least ready to load. The elevator ride was short and I wondered how Esme's trip to the aquarium with the kids had gone. Ali's new obsession was fish. Esme bought her Finding Nemo and she insisted on watching it 24/7. I'm sure she will have some cute stories to tell. As I walked in to the hotel room I was surprised to see everything was packed up, Ali and Carly where watching Finding Nemo again and Esme was ordering a pizza.

"Wow! Look at you, Super Woman!" I teased.

A wry smile crossed her face as she said, "Yes, I know! My awesomeness knows no bounds!" We laughed.

"I thought you were taking the girls to the aquarium." I said settling in beside Esme.

"I did. We stayed until Carly fell asleep for nap then I bought Ali lunch. Is it wrong that they serve fish sticks at the aquarium?" She said.

"Very wrong." I giggled.

"Yeah. Fish tanks surround the restaurant. It's like a horror movie for the fish." She giggled, "But their grilled tilapia was delicious."

"That's funny" I smiled.

"Bella, I am glad you asked me to come with you this weekend. Getting to hang out and have one on one time with you has been great! I knew that I missed you I just didn't realize how much I missed you." Esme said pulling me into a hug. For a moment I was taken back to when I considered her a daughter and I smiled and hugged her tighter.

"I have missed you too." I said wiping a tear away quickly.

Once she pulled away she smiled a watery smile, "Is it strange that I still sometimes think of you as mom?"

"No more than me missing my daughter." I smiled and a tear escaped from my eye.

"It's crazy, if anyone messes with you, Jasper, or Edward I am Momma bear protective because you all are my kids but then there are moments like these when I just…" She trailed off.

"I know Esme. I feel that way too. Our relationship will always be complicated!" I smiled.

We watched Finding Nemo and waited for the pizza. I must have drifted off because the next thing I remember Esme was gently shaking my arm. "Bella, you have to get up this time. Irena called and said they were down stairs for coffee."

I woke with a start and realized that I was still on the couch. I hurriedly changed clothes and then rushed down stairs to the hotel restaurant. Irena waved to me from a corner table. I walked over and sat down.

"Bella, this is Charles, his wife, McKenna, and their son Benjamin. Guys, this is the author of that book that I gave you to help Ben deal with the bullies in his school." Irena said. The boy quickly spoke up, "Mrs. Whitlock, thank you! I almost succeeded in ending my life. There was a girl in school that hated me. She and her boyfriend tormented me daily. One day I just couldn't face it anymore so I tried to end it all. Lucky for me my mom heard me hit the floor and got me to the hospital in time. That's when I met Irena and she had a manuscript of a book that she wanted me to read. I refused to read it so she read it to me. I had a long recovery but I owe my health and well being to Irena and you. Since you were so close I begged Irena to let me meet you."

"Well, I am glad that my book helped you and I am very glad to meet you." I told him.

The next half hour was filled with Ben telling me about his bully and his story. He then asked me to come speak at his school. I was shocked. I had written the book to help children and had hoped that it would but I never in my wildest dreams expected to be asked to be a guest speaker at a school. By the end of breakfast he had convinced me. Well he and the school principal that I wasn't aware that he was meeting with me too. The principal was very nice and insisted to cover my travel expenses and offered to pay me but I didn't feel right about that. I told her that I would accept a free lunch from the school cafeteria but I was going to drive up that morning and leave right after the assembly. I had left my number and email address with her so we could schedule a time that would work for both of us and then said my good-byes, hugged Ben and thanked him for meeting with me and then headed upstairs. I loaded everything into the car and then called Jaz.

"Hey sleepy-head, I called you last night but Mom couldn't wake up. " He greeted.

"Sorry! I was exhausted. I didn't even eat supper last night. I was just wiped out. I can't wait to get home to you." I said.

"I can't wait to see you." He said. There was something in his voice that told me something was wrong.

"Jaz, what's wrong?" I asked.

"Victoria was here. She said some things that upset Bree Friday. Bree and Rylie have been here all weekend and Bree has been telling me about her past. I can't imagine growing up that way. Victoria was a vindictive, hateful bitch to her. She blames her for breaking up her marriage and having to leave me." He said his voice cracking as he spoke.

" Oh Jaz, I'm so sorry. You should have called me! I would have come home" I said.

"I know you would have. That's why I kept it from you until now." He said.

"I hate that I wasn't there for you! How did your visit with Carlisle go?" I asked.

"I didn't go. I will see the inmate when he is transferred here to testify. I will question Carlisle later." He said.

"Are you ok with not seeing him? He is still your…" I asked.

"Please don't finish that sentence! I'm okay with waiting for answers. I still plan on making him tell me how he could be such a miserable SOB." He said, "So, are you all packed up and ready to go?"

"I am packing the car up with the last few things and then I will go and get Esme and the girls. I didn't realize how much I missed Esme. This weekend has been great." I said.

"I still miss her too but I'm glad to have my mom back though." He said, "Tell me about your weekend!"

"Well, I met a little boy that was bullied to the point of attempting suicide this morning. Thank God his mother found him before it was too late. My book was used to save him. Irena read my manuscript to him. He and his principal ambushed me about speaking at his school." I started.

"You should do it!" He said.

"I'm going to. She's going to call me next week to set up a time. I'm kinda nervous. I will be reading to the grade school and then talking about my own Bully experience at the grade school. I will be telling my story, Ben's story and reading pieces of my book and having an anonymous Q and A session with the Middle School and High School students. I can handle the little kids but the teenagers… well, they terrify me." I said.

"You will do great!" he encouraged.

"The book was so well received. I was met with such respect I was amazed. Several of the Doctors sought me out to visit with me! Then they placed orders for my book." I bubbled.

"See! I told you so! And at first you didn't even want to go. Look what you would have missed. I am so proud of you!" He told me. I think he was just as excited as I was.

"Well, I think I am going to let you go. I will be home soon baby. I love you. And Jaz, Thank you for always believing in me even when I don't believe in my self."

"You are amazingly talented and there is NOTHING you can't do! I love you too, Darlin'. See ya soon." He said.

Jaz POV

I hung up the phone and Rylie smirked at me.

"Wow! You got it bad!" he teased.

"I think its sweet!" Bree defended me.

I grinned and went outside to sit on the pouch and wait till church time. It was a beautiful sunny Sunday and after church Bella and the kids would be back.

"Oooohhhh! He must be thinking about Bells again." Ry said stepping out of the house.

"As a matter of fact I was! Bella and the girls should be back this afternoon." I smiled.

"Are you guys ready to go?" Bree said heading to the car carrying their duffle bag, "After church we are going to go home."

"Ok but if I know Bella. She will want you guys to come to supper tonight. So expect her call." I told them heading to my truck.

Church was uplifting as usual. After church Pops, Charlie and I ate at the diner for lunch and I must have been daydreaming because I was pulled back to reality by the laughter of my two dinner companions.

"Boy, you are off in your own world today." Charlie said.

"I thought only school girls swooned and daydreamed like that!" Pops chuckled.

"I'm just glad that her married to my little girl! A boy in love like that, wow!" Charlie smiled.

"Well, that makes two of us. I'd be a mess without her." I grinned knowing that if I wasn't married to Bella I would be secretly miserable. I had to live that way once and that's a pain I don't think I could ever live through again.

"You two are good for each other. You have always encouraged her and been there Bella even when it hurt you." Charlie said softly.

"I guess I haven't heard this story." Pops prompted.

"Well, when he and Bells were kids he was SO totally in love with her although he wouldn't admit it." He smirked.

"You _ SO TOTALLY _sound like a high school girl!" I chuckled.

"Quit changing the subject!" He grinned, "I think he was about to the point of asking her out but Edward beat him to it. When Edward first asked Bella out and she said yes, I could see the hurt if Jasper's eyes. I thought that Edward and Bella would date awhile and break it off. I was still rootin' for him. But then he left for college and they got even more serious. When Edward proposed it devastated our boy here." He motioned to me. "It was like a light went out in him. Then they asked him to be the best man. I was horrified when I heard that he agreed. He feigned happy and even fooled most of his family. I think everyone except Esme and I thought he was happy. He stayed away at college only coming home when Esme begged him to come see her. When he found out Edward was cheating he was pissed but still encouraged her to go to counseling because he didn't want her to have any regrets. He remained a friend to her until she told him that she wanted him. That's when I started seeing the old happy Jasper back and I also saw a new confidence in Bella that just keeps growing." He finished smiling at me.

"She called this morning! She had a great weekend. She said that she met a kid that had been bullied and that her book was used to help him. She's going to speak at his school soon. She said that several of the Doctors order for my book. She had a great time. I am so proud of her." I grinned.

"And to think that she didn't want to go at first." Pops said.

"I'm glad I talked her into it. She underestimates herself regularly." I sighed.

I paid the check and headed home. I was so glad to have Charlie and Pops as my surrogate fathers. I always felt happier when I talked to them. As I pulled up the drive my heart danced with Joy at the sight if Bella's car. I practically sprinted into the house. I saw Bells tiptoe out of Carly's room and so I waited at the bottom of the stairs. Bella hurried down into my waiting arms. I carried her to the couch were we cuddled and held each other. Bella laid her head on my chest as usual with her ear over my heart.

"Why do you do that?" I wondered.

"I love that sound! It's the sound that gives you life. It's so calm and strong. I just love it." She said snuggling in closer.

I smiled and just held her tighter. I loved holding her close just to listen to her rhythmic breathing. We sat together until she started to squirm.

"Would it be alright to have a big family dinner tonight?" she asked.

I chuckled, "I expected we would. Rylie and Bree are waiting for your call. Your dad asked if we were planning any thing and Emmett whined at church that he missed your fajitas." I chuckled.

"Ok, Well I guess I have a menu now. I'm going to call everyone and start marinating fajita meat." She said.

She fluttered around the kitchen talking to Pops, Mom, Rose, Maria, and Bree. I loved watching her flit around. She shooed me out of the kitchen several times. I was glad when the girls woke up, Ali and Carly provided me with entertainment. I held Carly in me lap as I sat in the floor and played with Ali with her See-And-Say. Carly got excited and squealed and giggled with every pull of the lever. Bella came and sat with us and Ali curled up in her lap. We played until Edward, Maria and Mindy arrived. Ali and Clair took Mindy to the kitchen set. I grabbed the abandon See-And-Say and went to the living room with Edward. The girls headed to the kitchen. Edward stole Carly and the toy.

"So how are things?" I said nodding to Mindy.

"Rocky but we are getting there. She still watches me like a hawk and I swear she was trying to irritate me up until Friday. First she tried picking at me then moved on to picking at Maria. I had to put a stop to that. Now she is just trying to stay out of my way. I will be so glad when she goes home." He groaned.

I chuckled, "Hang in there man! You have the patience of a saint except for when it comes to me. If you want I could give her some pointers." I teased.

"I just bet you could." He said, "She doesn't need any help, Man, Friday was rough…"

"What are you all doing?" Mom asked as she came in with Charlie and sat down.

"Nothing." We both said.

"Uh-ha! I recognize those guilty smirks!" she teased and swiped Carly from Edward, "What's she doing here?" Mom said.

"Mom, She was invited so play nice. It only makes things worse for me if you don't." Edward groaned. Our mother hated Mindy. Actually hate isn't a strong enough word to describe Mom's feelings about Mindy.

"Fine, I will. Is she still trying to make you lose your temper?" She asked.

"Not so much now." He said.

"Hey Edward. Since mom's here to watch Carly would you mind helping me with those loose floor boards in the loft?" I said walking toward the door. My Brother needed to talk and not in front of mom.

"Yeah." He said trotting along behind me.

Once we got to the barn we sat on some hay bales and he started talking.

"I was so close to asking her to leave Friday. She had ripped into Maria and they where both screaming at each other when I came home. Clair hiding under the table crying and neither of them could here her over their screaming. I was pissed. I took Clair to the park and an hour later when we came back they were still at it. I left again and took Clair to dinner and then we went to see a movie. Maria called half way through the movie freaking out because she couldn't find Clair. When I pulled in to the drive I called and told them that Clair was asleep and there better not be anymore screaming. After I put Clair in her bed we all went to the patio and had a talk. I told them about coming home from work to them screaming at each other and finding Clair under the table crying, I told them about coming back home to them still screaming and took Clair out. I told Mindy that she was a guest in our home and that this business of being a difficult houseguest was over. I also told them that if I ever came home to find Clair crying and them fighting again that I was going to take my vacation and me and Clair would go play for a week away from their bickering." He said.

"I bet that went over well." I said I wasn't able to wrap my mind around not realizing that your child was gone for that long.

"Oh they both started in but I had had it. I told them to sit down and shut up. I can't believe it but they both did. I asked them what would have happened if I hadn't have had Clair? Maria started crying and Mindy just dropped her head. Jaz, I don't think I have only been that mad once in all my life and I told Mindy so. I chewed their Asses for about thirty minutes and then Clair had a nightmare so I slept in her room that night. Things have been tense at the house right now. This is the first time all weekend that Clair has let go of my leg or had anything to do with Mindy or Maria. Mindy doesn't like me but she did tell Maria that she knows I won't hurt her or Clair. I heard her making arrangements to go home but she hasn't said when. Maria is still really upset about Friday and hasn't said two words to me all weekend. I know it hurt her when Clair screamed when Maria picked her up and practically launched herself into my arms. I hate that she is hurting but she won't talk to me and Clair needs me so I haven't really had time to try and make amends." He said sadly.

"Maybe she could stay the night here. She plays well with Ali and she loves Bella." I suggested seeing the hurt that not talking to Maria was causing.

"Maybe." He said as my phone chimed.

"Bella is texting me. She wants to know where I have you stashed. She is planning to drag Maria down here too. So prepare yourself." I said texting back.

"Whose side is she on?" he asked miserably afraid that Bella's famous look of disappointment would be aimed at me.

"I'm not sure." I said.

We heard Bella before we could see them, "Talk to him! You were wrong and you know it. If your mother is causing that much drama then she needs to leave and you need to be the one to send her packing. Edward has put up with a lot from her and you lately. Hell yeah he's going to lose his temper when he sees that Clair wasn't being taken care of. He had every right to lose it. You two have been at it all week from what I hear. Your lucky that I hadn't popped by I would have kicked both your asses. Now go talk to my Brother and make this right." Then a tearful Maria was roughly shoved into the barn ahead of a very angry Bella.

I walked over to Bells and hugged her shaking frame to me and we walked out the door. My wife was furious when she had heard about poor little Clair alone and scared crying under the table. I could see Mindy standing on the porch watching our approach. I knew this had the potential to get ugly. Bella had always been an advocate for those who couldn't stand up for themselves and she didn't take any flack about it.

We walked into the house leaving Mindy on the porch. Ali and Clair were still playing with the kitchen set. Pops and Charlie were watching a baseball game, Mom had both babies asleep in her arms rocking them. Rose, Em, Rylie, and Bree where silently watching Bella and I as we walked into the kitchen.

"You drug her out of here and she looked like she was going to a firing squad." Rose whispered.

"Where is she?" Bree asked.

"She's talking to Edward. This whole situation in BS." Bella growled softly.

"She may leave." I said seeing Mindy sitting in the car.

"Well it would be pretty hard to leave without her keys." Bella said smugly rattling the keys to Maria's car that she had swiped from her.

We all chuckled as Bella put the keys into the cookie jar on top on the fridge. Bella put supper on the table and went out to get Mindy. I had a feeling she had a few words with her because Mindy was apologetic and very courteous when she came in. I sent a text to Edward but they didn't respond. We sat and ate and visited careful to include Mindy. Just after dessert was served Edward and Maria came in holding hands. Clair yelled "Daddy!" He scooped her up into his arms and she shifted so she was as far away from Maria as possible. He sat down by Maria and fed Clair his dessert. Maria kept her head down probably to hide tears. Bella had boxed their supper to go. Then she disappeared with Mindy. When she returned she pulled me aside.

"Mindy is at a hotel. Would you mind much if I offered to keep Clair over night tonight?" she said.

"I was thinking about the same thing." I smiled.

As the evening wore on the kids all fell asleep and Edward and I packed the girls upstairs. "Hey, what did your wife do with Mindy?" he asked, "Maria is alittle worried."

"Bella told me that she is staying at a hotel tonight." I told him, "She is going to ask about keeping Clair over here tonight too."

"Ask Maria. I would love some alone time but I don't know how Maria feels about it." He said sadly.

"Are things ok?" I asked.

"Yeah, she's upset that Clair won't let her anywhere near her." Edward said sadly, "Them yelling really scared her."

"It will get better with time." I said.

When we came back down stairs Pops, Em and Rose had left and Mom and Charlie where getting ready to leave. Edward and I hugged Mom goodbye and waved to Charlie. Maria shifted around nervously until Edward sat next to her and she melted into his side. Bella was still alittle angry with Maria and opted to go clean the kitchen instead of sitting with us in the living room.

"Jaz, wanted to know if we wanted to just leave Clair here tonight and Jaz will drop her off at mom's." Edward asked.

"Yes. That's fine." She said. Bella appeared with Maria's keys and handed them over and turned to go.

"Bella?" Maria said just above a whisper in a choked up voice and Bella stopped, "I know how bad I messed up. Clair wants nothing to do with me. I can see that you are pissed at me. I'm sorry."

Bella turned to her and said firmly, "When I think of how terrified that Clair must have been it just makes my blood boil. You are her mother! A mother protects and comforts her children at all costs. I am angry with you and it will take me some time to settle down." As if on cue Carly started fussing and Bella headed upstairs with out a second glance at her friend.

"I understand." Maria whispered behind her.

"She's still your friend Maria." I tried to comfort her.

"I know that. I would be pissed at her if she had done something like that to Ali or Carly. I messed up so bad." Then to Edward, "I'm sorry I acted that way."

"Things are different now and it will never happen again. It's alright now." Edward said folding his arms around her.

"Do we need to check on Mindy?" Edward asked, "Bells has a way of making you terrible about things such as this."

"I do not do guilt trips Edward Cullen!" Bella growled as she carried Carly down stairs.

"I never said you did. It's just that you are so selfless and fiercely protective of anyone who cannot defend them selves. There is a certain look that you give someone and it's… I don't know a cross between disappointed and heartbreak." Edward started.

"The Shame-On-You look." I supplied. I had seen her give that look before. It was a heartbreaking look.

"I do not!" Bella said taking Carly into the kitchen.

"See ya later Jaz." Edward said and then they left.

I followed Bella into the kitchen and saw her holding Carly who was laying limply on her shoulder and frowning at the thermometer.

"Is she ok?" I asked as I took Carly. She never even fussed. I knew then that my little girl was sick. Usually she clung to Bella and threw a fit when someone took her. Her little cheeks and ears where pink.

"She has a fever." She said drawing up some medicine in a dropper.

I cradled Carly in my arms and Bella gave her the medication. I rocked her back to sleep while Bella hovered over us. I shooed her away and grinned as she huffed and hovered from afar.

That night was a long one Carly was up every few hours and Bella insisted I sleep. The alarm sounded way to early. I dressed quietly and crept down stairs. Carly was snuggled into Bella's chest and Bella was kicked back on the couch. I called mom to see if she would watch Ali today since she watched Clair too. When I explained what the deal was and mom agreed. I scooped Carly up and put her in bed then carried Bella to bed and left a note for Bella and took Ali and Clair to mom.

At work I was busy preparing for a case when Jenks came into my office and closed my door. He sat quietly as I put the file away that I was working on. When he had my undivided attention he spoke.

"Jasper, I have noticed how well you do in the courtroom and I feel you are ready to form a legal team. Anthony and I work cases together mostly and have brought you in and handed you the reins on some pretty major cases and you never needed our help to navigate them. You have a way of talking to people that seems like you are an old friend and just makes them feel all warm and fuzzy about spilling their guts. I would like for you to form a team with another attorney. You will be the supervisor of your team. We hired the second secretary and paralegal for you and your co-council. If you will agree to that we would like for you to be in on the meeting when we hire someone." He said.

"Wow Yes I will agree to that. I always figured that You of Anthony would take me as a co-council and hire another." I said.

"That was the first thought but Anthony and I have worked together so long that we have a system down and it works like a well oiled machine. I hate to start over with a new co-council. If you prefer you can work with me and Anthony can work with the new hire." He said.

"No, if you trust me enough to supervise another attorney that sounds great." I said smiling.

"We were hoping to hire your Brother-in-law. I know you speak highly of him and I have checked in to his schooling." He said.

I thought back to him complaining the other day about his weird hours and the fact that they were always strapped for money because he made a fraction of what I did.

I took a breath and said, "I think it would be easy to sway him. He's not happy where he is at and is not being paid what he is worth. I could make a call for you and see in he's interested." I said.

"That would be great. See when is the earliest he can interview!" He said watching me expectantly.

I dialed my phone and waited for him to answer.

"Hello?" Rylie said.

"Hey Ry. How are ya?" I asked. I saw Jenks shift impatiently in his chair and bit back a grin.

"So-so." He sighed, "I am taking a break here at the diner so I can work late tonight. Bree is beside herself."

"Can you come see me at my office?" I said.

"I will be there in a minute!" he said as we hung up.

"Well?" Jenks said before I even got the phone hung up.

"He was at the diner so he's coming over now." I said.

"Good! When he gets here bring him to the conference room." He said as he left my office.

I smiled as I thought about what this job would mean for my sister and Rylie. They had both taken jobs here just to be close. Bree had been promoted quickly and had a cushy job in the banks legal department. She wasn't paid as well as she could have been if she took a job in a bigger city but she made descent money. Rylie hadn't been so lucky. He had found a job on the hospitals legal team but they treated him as a paralegal or a research assistant rather than a lawyer.

When Rylie walked into my office he had a strange look in his face, "Your bosses were standing in the a doorway staring at me."

I chuckled, "They want me to bring you to the conference room. They are looking for a new associate and wanted me to call you."

"You mean this is an interview?" He asked.

"If you go into the conference room it will be." I said.

"Ok, let's go." He said.

I stood and walked across the hall with Rylie on my heels. After I introduced him I took a seat.

"Rylie, we are looking for someone to join our firm. Anthony and I have found it easier to work in legal team of two attorneys. We work together on most of our cases and would like someone to work with Jasper. Jasper would be your supervisor. Your hours would be from 8:30 am to 5:30 pm. You will be preparing cases for court and preparing legal documents on a deadline and there will be some days you will have to stay late but not too often. We have 2 full time paralegals and you and Jasper have secretary." Anthony slid a folder to Rylie and I heard the excited intake of breath as her read over the contract. He was doubling his pay and was getting better hours. He picked up the pen and scrawled his name on the contract.

"I should give the hospital a two week notice although I would love to start right this second." Rylie smiled.

"From what I here taking a job interview on company time is a firing offence." Anthony said.

"He would know. I snagged him from the hospital too." Jenks smirked, "and as soon as I call to check your references they will terminate your employment. Then you can start tomorrow."

"Alright." Rylie said and thanked them and left.

When Jenks called to check Rylie's references his boss was furious and fired Rylie as Jenks had predicted. Rylie called me to let me know. Bree showed up in my office with a huge bear hug and a smile. She thanked me for hiring Rylie and Jenks played along before I could set her straight. I was happy to see the stress melt away from her face.

The next few days were filled with preparations for the upcoming court date of my latest case. I was amazed at the speed that things were coming together. Rylie was a godsend! We found our system quickly and Jenks was very impressed at the workload that we were able to handle. Things were going great.

Bella POV

By Friday I had received calls from not only Ben's school but also two additional schools so come speak. My publisher was thrilled and had set up a couple other book signings at a bookstore and one book reading at a library. I would be gone a full week and the publishing company had gotten me a driver and booked my hotels. I was going to see if Jaz could take a vacation and go with me.

I was excited when Jenks said Jaz could have vacation time. This trip was going to be great. Kate hired someone to set up for me at each stop and had helped me choose excerpts from my book. I had my talking points.

The following Saturday evening our car had arrived and we were whisked away to our suite and we giving an itinerary for the trip. I was doing a morning Assembly and an afternoon assembly on Monday and Tuesday, I had a morning of reading my story at two different libraries on Wednesday, and an afternoon signing at a local bookstore on Thursday and Friday. That left evenings free for our family outings. I was thrilled. Jaz had suggested that we bring the girls back to Esme and Charlie on Wednesday and then have a tiny couples vacation.

Monday and Tuesday went off with out a hiccup and we took the girls to the zoo and then a children's museum. Wednesday we drove the girls halfway back and met dad and Esme half way. Then went to a nice dinner and then a show. On Thursday Jaz went with me to the book signings then the driver took us to the next hotel. We told him that we would walk around the town for the day and to have a good evening. The driver seemed grateful to have some down time. He said he would see us in the morning. I was thrilled that Jaz and I had alone time. We held hands and window-shopped. We found a little café and stopped in. We ate there and then the owner of the bookstore were I would be tomorrow caught me on my way out the door. She was freaking out about the book display that the publishing company had set up for my book so we went to look it over and talk about it. Poor Jaz waited for 20 minutes before wondering off. I ended up calling Kate and she sent the designer back to help calm the crazy shopkeeper down. When I finally stepped out of the bookstore I was irritated. It was getting dark. I had wasted over two hours over a stupid window display. I texted Jaz who was at the little café again he said they had live country music. I rushed in and took a seat beside him.

"You look frayed." Jaz said sliding an arm around me.

"I am exhausted that woman is crazy. She was ranting on and on about my hair color not matching the banner and posters. I was outside in the sunlight in the pictures. So she is insisting that the book table has to be outside. So they are redoing the display in the morning outside. If it wasn't for the fact that parents bring their children to meet me I would just tell her never mind and skip her signing tomorrow." I groaned leaning into him.

"I think I may have something to cheer you up." He said passing a small wrapped box over to me.

"What have you been up to?" I wondered as I opened the box to find a key inside.

"Do you remember that little cabin that we stayed in when things started to go nuts?" HE paused so I nodded, "Well, it's just a mile down the road and the same one was available so I gave our suit to the driver in exchange for letting us take the car and have an evening and morning to ourselves. We have to go pick him up so he can drive us to the signing tomorrow."

"A whole night and morning to ourselves? You are my hero!" I told him.

We ate dinner at the café and even danced alittle to the music before we headed to the cabin. Once the door was closed Jaz kissed my and pinned me against the wall for some rough, hot sex. When I had the most earth-shattering orgasm I have had in awhile, we both collapsed on the floor exhausted and gasping for air. When we finally made it to the bed we made love slowly. Then fell asleep in each other's arms.

I woke up the next morning after the sunrise still wrapped in Jaz's arms. I felt so relaxed and rejuvenated. I peppered his chin with kisses because I couldn't move the way he was holding me. He grinned lazily and kissed me hard. That brought on the desperate need for another round of rough sex. I was instantly ready for him. We never made it to breakfast and barely made it to the hotel to pick up the driver. We realized that we had forgotten our clothes at the hotel. I showered and slid back into my slacks and camisole. My over shirt was torn in the haste of removing it. I was screwed! I happen to remember and article I had read in a magazine about unexpected sleepovers and a boyfriends house and went in search of Jas's white button-down and put it on. I buttoned it half way up and then put my belt on over it and rolled the sleeves. Surprisingly it did look like I was trying to achieve the look instead of like I had to wear my husband's shirt. I had managed to get myself looking presentable but Jaz still looked disheveled.

The driver had chuckled at the sight of him. Then shook his head as he handed him a comb and a spray bottle, "I have your clothes in the back." He said to Jas and then whistled at me, "Ingenious! I thought you would have to change too but you look great." I did swap out my parts for a skirt and that seemed to pull my outfit together better.

The signing was a nightmare to say the least. Yesterday was just the tip of the iceberg of how crazy the bookstore owner would be. She was so particular about where I sat and the lines that formed. She yelled at me twice for stepping out from behind the table to take pictures with people and was constantly screaming at people to stay in their lines.. Finally I told her that if she said one more word to me or anyone else this signing was over and I would lead everyone to the library to finish my signing. She did back off but she was still a nightmare to deal with after the signing was over. I was never so glad to get home in all of my life!

Bella POV (2 yrs later)

I love my life! Our family is growing and everyone is still so close. I have grown accustom to having big family dinners on Sundays and there is always someone over for dinner. Tonight Dad and Esme are coming home from their honeymoon and I am so thrilled that they finally got married. Rylie and Bree are coming as well. She and I have become closer lately. She and Rylie just found out that they are expecting their first child. I don't think I have ever seen someone so excited about her baby as Bree is. She is so happy she tears up in pride with every mention of their little one. She has already designed the nursery in a Noah's Ark theme. She is just glowing. Rose and Emmett will be here unless baby Alec decides to be born tonight. They are just days away from having their second son. I am thinking I'm getting baby fever because I have been thinking a lot about having another baby too. Pop's is bringing a mystery guest that he has finally decided to let his crazy family meet. Sadly Edward and Maria won't be able to join us. Mindy is down until tomorrow and wants to spend quality time with her family. Translation: Be the mother-in-law from hell and make Edward miserable. She has finally got it through her head that Edward isn't a danger but in true mother-in-law fashion does her best to make Edward miserable. They will be over tomorrow evening though.

When Jaz came home early one look at him and I knew something was wrong. I sat on the couch beside him and he laid his head over on my shoulder.

"Jaz?" I asked softly as I felt his tears on my shoulder.

"Bree lost the baby." He whispered, "I had to take Rylie to the hospital and… It was awful."

I held him and we cried together. She had been so happy. She already adored her baby. I was heartbroken for them. I called Pops and Esme then asked if she could watch the girls. Emmett called and said that they where having the baby and asked us to watch Ethan. I told him about Bree and that Esme was watching our kids.

It was a bittersweet night. Bree was given pain medication and sent home. Rylie said he would call if they needed anything and took the rest of the week off. Alec was born at 10:41 pm. He was Emmett's mini-me, which is scary because the world can't handle two Emmett's.

We picked up the girls and then headed home. Ali was excited about the new baby and was bubbling about going to see baby Alec. We promised to take her the next day.

Jaz POV (A year later)

I was on top of the world today. Bella asked me if we could have another baby. I have wanted another one for a while now but didn't want to ask Bella because the first pregnancy was so hard on her. When she asked I couldn't stop grinning. When I told Rylie he told me that he and Bree are trying again too.

I was shocked when Bree and Edward both announced that they where going to be parents again at the same dinner. Bree was more subdued about this pregnancy and Edward and Maria where bubbling. It wasn't but about a month and my sister list her second pregnancy and was told that she would never be able to carry a child to term. She decided to have a Tubal Ligation to spare herself the pain of losing another child. She focused on her job and Rylie said she was never home anymore. One evening she broke down and told him she couldn't be in their house anymore. They ended up buying a one bedroom A-frame house that I teased Bree about being a Hobbit Hole. She swatted my shoulder playfully and giggled.

Bree avoided Maria. She explained to her that it was too hard to watch her pregnancy knowing that she would have been at the same stage. Maria understood but was still hurt. She and Bree had made plans to join a baby yoga class and baby shop together. Maria was sad for her friend's loss and it took some of the joy she felt about her own pregnancy. Edward said she felt guilty anytime she was around Bree. After baby Jane was born Maria and Bree resumed their friendship. They met at the gym or for coffee with Bella and Rose for their kid-free time.

We finally got to meet Pop's mystery woman. Her name was Stephanie. She and Bella had an instant connection. She quickly became one of us and no one was surprised when Pop's proposed. The wedding was scheduled next Easter.

Bella was getting frustrated after a year of trying to have a baby with no luck. We had both went to the doctor and got checked out. All the tests came back normal. We decided to give it a year and if we still weren't pregnant we were going to take a break.

It was getting close to the 2-year mark that we had been trying and I was relieved when the year was over and we were taking our break because I was so tired of seeing the disappointment every month when Bella wasn't pregnant.

After that Bella was happy just to enjoy the girls. She focused on our family and extended family. She helped with the time consuming Tasks for Pops and Stephanie's wedding.

Their wedding was a small ceremony at the lake. Stephanie wanted a bonfire after the wedding. Their honeymoon was 3 one week long week trail rides in the mountains.

Bella had currently thrown herself into preparation for my birthday dinner. She seemed more content then before. I think she was getting over the disappointment of not having another baby.

~~~~~~~AN~~~~~~~~~~

The Families are as follows:

Jaz and Bella, Ali 7 and Carly 5

Edward and Maria, Clair 7 and Jane 2

Rose and Emmett, Ethan 5 and Alec 3

Bree and Rylie

Charlie and Esme

Pop's and Stephanie


	15. Chapter 15

I just wanted to let everyone know last chapter was inspired and shaped by a review that I received. I don't always respond to reviews but if there is a detail that someone asks about or a POV that someone would like to see I really try to get it done for them. This one is the one you have been waiting for! You will find out WHY Carlisle drugged Esme! Keep in mind that this is one of those times when I cannot be bothered with reality. I am going to need you to tell the little voice in your brain that says, "That can't really happen!" to 'SHHHHH! This is just a story it an imaginary land, not reality!' There is a ton of stuff covered in this chapter. I couldn't seem to get my mind to shut down.

Carlisle's Pov

I was being paroled. It was crazy because My Best friend and my son fought tooth and toenail to keep me in here. I was stunned to learn that I had a new granddaughter; my daughter Bree now lived in town near Jasper; Esme had fully recovered; and most of all that my supposed best friend married Esme. Some part of me always held on to the hope of explaining myself to her and her taking me back if she ever got better. I would never steal her from him. He was St. Charlie whom everyone upheld as the town beacon of pureness and light. I chuckled in disgust. I was so tired of his swooping in stealing my life. He had taken over the role of dad with Jasper and now he had stolen Esme from me as well. The worst part is that he did it all without even realizing it. He was always a better father, husband, son, brother, and even friend then I was. Part of me hated him but a small part of me knew that I put myself first at key times while he selflessly took care of everyone else. At the end of the day I still resented him for being everything that I wish I was. I am going to be released later today. I knew I had to fix things with Jasper. Once he knew the truth about what I was trying to do he would forgive me, I hoped, not everything is as black and white as he thinks it is.

I used the meager means I had left to check into a motel there was no way I was staying at the rundown halfway house that they had offered! It was teeming with common thieves and thugs. I had enough of living with the riff-raff of society in the 5 years I had spent in prison. I sat down on the bed and called the 800 number to my son's office. I knew he was pissed at me but he had to understand alittle. He was going to come see me. He had said he needed to know why. Then that crazy bitch Victoria had gotten in the way. I really wished I had followed through with my plan back then. She has proved to be most inconvenient to me. If I had it to do over again I would have just killed that intern that was poking around and caught the pharmacy on their mistaking my 3 for a six, a brilliant slip of the hand if I do say so myself. That would have giving Victoria double the dose of her blood pressure medication and would have ended my plight right then. I could have played the grieving husband and gained the sympathy of the whole town and I generously forgave the pharmacist for killing my wife. I had to praise him and act relieved that he saved her life. Embry Call had always watched me after that cautioning me when he thought I was over tired and even rewriting a few of my prescriptions. I think he's the one who alerted the administrator of the hospital that I might be a liability. I was pulled from my thoughts when the call was answered.

"Jenks and Associates." The secretary said.

"Yes, I need to speak with Mr. Whitlock, please. It's urgent." I said politely.

"Certainly, sir. May I tell him who is calling?" She said.

"I would rather discuss things with Mr. Whitlock." I huffed.

"Um." There was a pause and I heard my sons gruff voice telling her that it was ok and to transfer the call into his office. "Please hold." She said.

"This is Whitlock." Jasper growled, "I understand you were less then courteous to my secretary?"

"Jasper, it's so good to hear your voice." I said.

"Carlisle? Why are you calling me?" He sounded annoyed.

"I was released today. I want to see you. I heard I had a new granddaughter and I would like to meet her and see my daughter. I want to explain things to you." I said.

"I know that you were released today. You stay away from my family. Ali is NOT your daughter she is mine." He growled.

"You said you wanted answers. I can give them to you. I have a meeting with my parole officer as long as I let him know I can come see you." I offered hopefully.

"I will meet you tomorrow at noon at that little café across from the halfway house." he said sternly, "You will stay away from here. I don't want you anywhere near my family."

"Iit means a lot to me to get to see you." I said.

"The only reason I am coming to you is to keep you away from here. There are conditions for me meeting with you; once you have said your piece then you will leave me and everyone else alone! " Jasper told me.

"Jasper, I…" I began only to be cut off by my son and he was angry.

"Do you want to meet or not?" he growled.

"Ok but I am not staying in the halfway house. I am at a motel. Perhaps we could meet there." I said.

"Why not, that will save me buying you dinner." He said sarcastically.

After giving him the address I hung up and went to bed. I had a meeting with my parole officer in the morning.

At the meeting I was introduced to my new boss. I would be working on a road construction crew. I hurried to the room and sat and daydreamed of the visit with Jasper.

_There was a knock at the door and when I answered it there was my son. I moved aside and motioned to the small table. He took the seat closest to the door with his back to me. I hated the look of hatred that he gave me. I took a seat across from him._

"_Would you like anything to drink?" I said._

"_There is no need for pleasantries. I came to hear you out. You said you would tell me why, so talk." He said._

"_Ok, well, there is a lot more to it then you know." I paused, waiting for any reaction from him but got nothing just an expectant look. So I continued. "Did you know that I was being asked to step-down at the hospital? I was told that I could keep my doctor privileges there but I would no longer be the Chief of Staff. I was trying to scrape up some money to go into private practice. I had insurance on Esme. This time it was for anything that incapacitated her. The payout would have been enough to keep us financially stable for the rest of our lives. I was so careful not to give her anything to damage her permanently. I was going to bring her out of it a couple years after I got my practice set up. When she ended up in the hospital that jackass Call gave her some meds that interacted with the ones I was giving her. It made her condition deteriorate. You see son I wasn't trying to hurt her." I said._

I was pulled from my thoughts by a knock on the door. I opened the door to see Jasper. I moved aside and motioned to the small table. He took the seat facing the door and the look of hatred that I was expecting was clear is his eyes. It cut alittle deeper than I had expected. I took a seat across from him. It was awkward I offered him a drink that he declined.

"You said you would give me answers. That's why I am here. You had years to make nice and actually act like you gave a damn about family. Hell, before you pulled this shit I needed you. There are two men who have stepped up to fill you role in my life. The only thing I want from you now is answers." He said in a tone that I'm sure he used to interrogate a hostile witness on the stand.

So I started my carefully rehearsed explanation hoping he would understand, "Ok, well, there is a lot more to it then you know." I paused, gauging his reaction. "Did you know that I was being asked to step-down at the hospital? I was told that I could keep my doctor privileges there." I paused unnerved under his piercing gaze, "I was trying to scrape up some money to go into private practice. I had insurance on Esme. This time it was for anything that incapacitated her." I saw a glimmer of something flash in his eyes before the carefully composed look was back. I was not as confident now but I had promised him answers so I continued. "The payout would have been enough to keep us financially stable for the rest of our lives. I was so careful not to give her anything to damage her permanently. I was going to get my practice settled and then she would have made a miraculous recovery. But then she ended up in the hospital that jackass Call gave her some meds that interacted with the ones I was giving her. It made her condition deteriorate. You see son, I wasn't trying to hurt her." I finished.

"Did she know about the hospital?" he asked.

"No. I couldn't have told her that I was losing my job." He said.

"So, you just thought that insurance fraud was the way to make all your dreams come true? Something you said still bothers me. You said you had insurance on Esme that was for anything that incapacitated her t_his time_. Were you going to try something like this with Victoria?" he asked sounding distressed.

I nodded then dropped my head.

"Did you do something to her?" he whispered and I shook my head.

"But you were planning to kill her though? What's the matter with you? Did you love her too much to follow through with it." I hung my head and just sat there, "No, that's not it, is it? You got caught." I flinched hearing the hardened tone in his voice. He hated me.

"Tell me." He demanded.

"I was going to switch her blood pressure prescription out. She would have gone peacefully. I was thinking of you." I said.

He stood then said, "You never thought of me. I wanted a family, a mother to love me, a father who was around and was actually a dad, not for my father to kill my mother so he could have the medical practice of his dreams with the blood money." He walked out the door.

I decided I would give him some time to cool off. After about a month I would start trying to him again. Maybe I will try to get to know Bree. It was nothing against her when I ran Victoria off but I just couldn't have taken care of a baby and built my dreams. She maybe more forgiving then Jasper after all from what I hear Victoria was a real bitch to her. Maybe if I give her my approval and brag on her a bit she might help bring Jasper around. Maybe I should start with her and then ease my way back into the family's good graces.

Jaz POV

By the time I got home I was had composed myself alittle until I stepped out of my truck and saw Bella standing on the porch then I lost any composure I had. I sprinted up the stairs, pulled her into my arms and cried harder than I ever thought possible. She guided us inside and we sat on the couch I pulled her into my lap. After an hour I had calmed alittle. Bella was humming our lullaby and stroking my hair.

"He was going to kill Victoria." I seethed, "He said that the insurance payout for Esme losing her mind would have been enough for him to open a private practice. Then he was going to try to bring Esme out of it. All of it was over him having his own damn medical practice. It was about greed."

"I'm so sorry Jaz." She whispered holding me tight.

"I need to go tell mom." I whispered, "Where's the girls? I need to hold my babies."

"They are at Maria and Edward's. Clair wanted to have a sleep over. I figured you would be upset and didn't want to upset the girls." She soothed, "Why don't we stop over and see them and then we will go see Dad and Esme."

"Edward will want to know too." He said sadly.

"You visit with the girls and I will tell Edward." I suggested.

"Actually, I want to bring Edward and Bree to Mom's." I said.

I called and set everything into motion. When we stopped to see the girls Edward was already gone. I cuddled my daughters close and got a giggled "I love you Daddy!" from my little Carly and a "Dad, you're so weird!" from my Ali girl then she hugged my tight and said, "I love you Dad!" Maria and Bella stood talking and Maria looked worried. She hugged me and told me that she was sorry before we left. I had asked Bella to give Maria a heads up so when Edward got home she was informed.

At Mom's we waited on Bree and Rylie. I was surprised to see Maria with them when they pulled up. She had called a neighbor to sit with the girls. Edward sat between mom and Maria. Once everyone was settled I told them everything Carlisle had said verbatim. Mom was shaking but held it together well. Charlie sat rubbing Mom's back murmuring, "Just breathe, baby." Bree looked bewildered. Rylie sat holding her in his arms being a supportive husband. Edward sat stoic holding Maria's hand like she was his lifeline. After we all calmed down Mom thanked me for having the courage to face him. Charlie had all law enforcement on notice that Carlisle was out and we were to be alerted immediately if he was spotted in town.

A week later Bree got a phone call from Carlisle at the bank. He begged her to talk to him and with a few pretty words she caved and listened to him. The bastard knew that she needed parental approval and used it. He gushed over her being a lawyer and how proud she made him. He pulled her in slowly. Telling her that he wanted to get to know her, told her that he regretted not rescuing her from Victoria. She was drinking it in like a dry sponge soaks up water. By the end of the conversation she was considering meeting him for coffee.

After that she met Rylie and I for lunch and was all starry eyed as she told us about her call. Rylie calmly reminded her that this was the same man that tried to kill Victoria and Esme. That everything he said was a carefully scripted plan to worm his way into the family again and that since she didn't know him well he decided to start with her. I hated the hurt look on her face as she realized that he was right.

The next day he called her again and she hung up on him. Needless to say he was pissed and called Rylie at the office and threatened him. He told Rylie that if he got in the way of him forming a relationship with his little girl that he would take her away from him. When Rylie ask what that was supposed to mean Carlisle had said the he could make everything that was important to Rylie disappear. Rylie tore out of the office to Bree. Bree of course was fine. We all took precautions after that and we were very protective of our families.

Charlie had a home security system installed at the house with motion sensors outside, security cameras inside and out, and became more appreciative of Daisy that aging hound that shadowed Mom's every move.

I had also installed the same home security system and much to the girl's delight I brought home a 230 lb. mixed up mutt from the Humane Society. His name was Mungo and he was a huge St. Barnard, Lab, and Great Pyrenees mix. He had the shape and size of a St. Barnard and was black and white. He kinda looked like a giant border collie. When I had went to the shelter the lady smiled sadly as she told me that he was a voluntary surrender. His owner got him as a cute baby fur ball not thinking about the fact that he would be a big dog. I watched as she scratched his ears and he closed his big sad eyes and leaned gently into her hand. I had known that he was the one. I smiled at the thought of Bella teasing me about getting a horse. He was easily bigger then Shadow our aging Shetland pony. He instantly fell in love with Bella and the girls. He patrolled the house and when the girls were outside patrolled a large circle around them. He had taken to his role as guardian well except when Bella vacuumed the carpet then he hid under the table. Bella loved our newest addition.

Rylie already had a home security system but he did add some motion sensor lights and Bree had become closer with his German Shepard, Trotter who lived in their house.

Charlie insisted that was all brush up on our shooting skills and taught Mom and my sister how to shoot. The man had the patience of a saint and worked with Bree until she finally figured it out. I had almost forgotten how good a shot Bella was. She was happy to irritate Emmett by poking a smiley face pattern in her target while he was busy. When she presented it to him he groaned and started trying to shoot a similar pattern. We never told him the truth. Charlie chuckled he showed him what Bella had don and said "that's my girl! I taught her everything she knows." Some of the deputies were impressed too.

After we left Charlie said, "You are so mean to that kid! Now he's going to be here every spare second trying to beat you. I think a couple of my deputies will be too." He smirked.

A week later is when Charlie contacted me, "Your dad is on a road construction crew that will be fixing the old bridge and whistler road next month."

"Please don't call him that. He is Carlisle. Thanks for the heads up. I hate that he will be so close to the house and Bree's house."

Halloween was just around the corner and all of the kids were dressed as various creatures. Ali was dressed as a punk rock zombie, Carly was a fairy princess turned zombie after seeing Ali's make-up, Clair was a pirate princess, Jane was a monkey, Ethan was a zombie clown, and Alec was a football star. We all went Trick-or-treating together. The kids had a ball. The girls crashed out before we even made it home so we put them in bed and like all good parents sampled the candy before we went to bed.

We woke up to Clair hollering at Mungo. We went down stays to find the goofy dog with two sucker sticks stuck in his fur, a wrapper stuck to his paw and a half eaten sucker hanging from his shoulder. I burst out laughing. The dog was attempting an innocent look and Carly wasn't having it. She saw surveying the damage.

"He picked out the suckers. He only missed three." She said.

"I have 5 left." Ali giggled looking at Mungo.

The girls determined the only thing he stole was suckers so they cut off all the sticks and thought the problem was solved and went to hide their loot from the 'Sucker Snatcher" when the went to get ready for school.

When I came home for lunch and Mungo was sitting on the porch staring at the door. When I opened the door he practically took me down getting inside and headed straight upstairs Bella shook her head, "He found someone's candy. I don't know where they hid it so he's had free reign. He knows the shape of a sucker package." She said as we followed him upstairs. He came flying out of Carly's room back down stairs past us to the kitchen and I could hear the tale-tell popping of pop rocks. As we rounded the corner he was drinking from his bowl. The drink had only made things worse for the poor unsuspecting thief. He started licking the tile in an attempt to drag the offending pieces of crackling candy off his tongue in the groves between the tiles. Bella and I were laughing so hard we were both it tears. When Mungo had finally removed the Pop Rocks he looked up at us indignantly, huffed, and sauntered away to go lay on the couch. I cleaned up the floor while Bella finished lunch. We were both still giggling at the poor forlorn soul laying on the couch pouting because his sucker snatching days were through.

~~~A/N~~~

Mungo is an actual dog that I got as a tiny puppy and raised to a pony-sized dog. My son named him Mungo after the Giant Gingerbread Man on Shrek. This story about this dog's crazy antics is true. I laughed so hard my sides hurt that day. My girls did in fact call him the Sucker Snatcher. After that day he never snatched another sucker ever again. He still loved suckers though. Sadly I lost my big Fur Baby last week at 4 yrs old.

Bree's POV

Things were getting back to normal after I lost my second child. I had secretly started seeing Dr. Black a week after I lost the baby. I had told Rylie but no one else. I had worked through the devastation of seeing Maria and Jane. Jane was the exact age that my own child would have been. I had an ache in my chest every time I saw her. I knew that it hurt Maria when I played with Clair and avoided Jane. I knew soon it would hurt Jane as well. Dr. Black said I needed to get used to being around her and see her as her own person and not a representative of what I had lost.

This morning I had told Maria in confidence that I was seeing Dr. Black and had asked her to meet me at the house with Jane. In twenty minutes they were walking through my door. I cringed as I felt the ache in my chest when I heard Jane giggle and chatter. Maria sat Jane down on the floor at her feet with a few toys and took a seat on the couch.

"I'm glad you came." I said softly.

"Bree, to be quite honest I was shocked that you asked. You have avoided Jane. I understand why but down the road I see it will hurt her." Maria said sadly.

"I know. I want to play with her like I do my other nieces but it just hurts so bad. When I see her I see what might have been. Dr. Black suggested getting to know her and I would like to try." I said aching inside, "He said the only way to get over the ache I get inside whenever I see her is to be around her. He said it would get easier with time."

"I understand that." Maria said.

"Thank you for understanding." I told her. We moved to the floor and played with Jane.

Jane was a sweet little girl. She was curious and quickly made a life-long friend in Trotter. He followed her as she toddled around the living room. She easily included me in her exploration of the house and even came grabbed my finger and took me into the kitchen. She had discovered the cookie jar that Trotter's treats were kept in and thought they were cookies. I got her a cookie and then we gave Trotter a treat. After about twenty minutes I almost didn't notice the ache. The afternoon went quickly. After Maria and Jane left I felt the ache come back tenfold. I curled up on the couch and wept for my lost child. I hadn't even known if the baby was a boy or a girl. We kept it to ourselves but we were calling the baby Sam. We planned to name it either Samantha or Samuel. When Rylie came home he held me and asked if I was sure that I was ready to spend time with Jane. I told him that this was the only way I was ever going to be able to be around all of the family. We ordered take-out and snuggled on the couch until we went to bed.

The following week I spent three days with Maria and Jane and took a 30 minute solo trip to the park with Jane and Trotter. I did fairly well.

Friday I was off work and so I decided to take Trotter for a run. I had forgotten about the road construction and had to turn back but before I did I realized Carlisle was the flagman.

"Bree?" He said as he took my elbow.

"I'm sorry. You must have me confused with someone else." I lied and tried to pull away.

"Don't lie to me. You look so much like your mother." He said irritated.

"Let go of me!" I panicked and that was all Trotter needed. He jumped on Carlisle and took him and me to the ground. I wrenched my arm free as we hit the ground and scrambled to me feet. Trotter was standing in Carlisle's chest a low warning growl rumbling in his chest just daring Carlisle to move. I pulled in the leash and called to Trotter. He immediately came and sat at my feet. One on the other workmen came over to see what the commotion was about.

"Sir you would do well to keep your hands to yourself. You are very lucky my dog didn't bite you." I said still keeping up the façade of not knowing Carlisle.

Carlisle just scowled and watched me. I ran back to the house not thinking about anything except the panicked feeling I had. Not realizing that I could see the construction crew from the porch. Once home I locked the door and cleaned up the scrape on my knee and the scratch on my cheek. When I was putting away the first aid kit I noticed finger shaped bruises already forming on my elbow. I groaned at the thought of Rylie and Jaz's reaction. I took a deep breath and went to call Rylie when I heard a loud bang from the entrée way and, the alarm start screaming, a loud crash then a thud and Trotter going crazy. He was growling and snarling like he was going to eat someone. I ran to the bedroom and grabbed the pistol from the bedside table and called 9-1-1. While I was talking to the operator I heard more crashing and then Trotters claws scrapping against a door. They had trapped my dog and were now free to look for me. I scrambled into the attic crawlspace and prayed that the police got to me before whoever was in my house did.

I felt bile rise in my throat as I recognized the voice that called, "I know you are here Bree."

"Carlisle Whitlock is in my house." I whispered is the operator. Not even a second later Carlisle popped through the crawl-space door and grabbed my foot. I leveled my gun on him and pulled the trigger. There was a loud crack and a flash as the bullet was sent into its target. As Carlisle fell he dragged me out of the crawl space. He reached for the gun and I fired again. I heard the sound of a splintering door and seconds later Trotter came charging in. He stood over Carlisle's lifeless form daring him to move. I crawled out of the room in time to see Charlie and two deputies run in. I pointed to the bedroom and stammered, "I-I think he-he's dead."

Charlie scooped me up and sat me on the couch. The deputies backed slowly out of the room with Trotter stalking them.

"Trotter, Come." I commanded. He was instantly at my side rumbling at Charlie until I told him that it was ok and took hold of his collar. He jumped up on the couch and squeezed between Charlie and I still watching Charlie like a hawk.

"I'm sorry." I started.

"Bree, it's ok. He's doing his job. He's a good dog." He reassured me remaining motionless.

"My cell phone is still in the crawl space in the closet. I had 9-1-1 on the phone." I rasped.

"I got it." A deputy said approaching cautiously.

"I called Rylie. He and Jaz are…" Charlie began.

"Already here." Rylie said rushing to my side, "What happened?"

"Let's get her out of here. We can take her to my house. She may be more comfortable talking there." Jaz said shuddering as he looked toward the bedroom where Carlisle's feet and a pool of blood were visible. I attempted to stand and my ankle gave out and I fell into Rylie. He scooped me up and Trotter walked dutifully beside us.

Once we got to the truck Jaz noticed that there was blood on the back of my tank top.

"Bree, we need to get you checked out. We need to go to the hospital before we go to my house." Jaz said backing out of my driveway.

At the hospital they stitched a deep laceration on my knee and then a gash on my back from being drug out of the crawl space. They splinted my left ankle that had a hairline crack in it. By the time they were done Bella had brought me one of her skirts and a soft tee shirt. I was grateful that everyone had stopped asking what happened. Charlie had told Jaz that he would come by the house to get my statement. News had traveled fast and the waiting room was full of my family and friends. I was wheeled out in a wheel chair to the truck. I briefly told everyone I was ok and all my family and most of my friends followed me to Bella and Jaz's house. Rylie settled me on to the couch with my foot propped up on the coffee table. Charlie shooed everyone out except those closest to me and asked me to give an official Police Statement.

I told them about the events of my run and then my mistake of going straight home. I recalled cleaning my scrapes and hearing Carlisle crash through the door and Trotter attacking him.

"That explains the smashed furniture and the blood all over the living room." Charlie said rubbing my protector's ears. Trotter was beside me with his head resting on my thigh.

I continued telling them of grabbing the gun, calling 9-1-1 and sliding into the unfinished crawl space. Bella shivered as I told about Carlisle finding me. Jaz squeezed my hand and I tearfully told about having to shoot my father and him dragging me out if the space. Trotter sensing I was upset climbed gently onto the couch and laid his head on my shoulder. "That's when Trotter managed to break through the door and I crawled away. That's when you found me." I told Charlie.

Nothing was said of my stupidity of waltzing into my house under Carlisle's watchful eye other than Charlie saying that I did nothing wrong. Everyone had told me that at some point or the other but when I remember the look of sheer terror that was in Rylie's eyes earlier today I feel bad that I put it there.

We stayed with Jaz and Bella for the weekend. The clean-up crew would have the house cleaned and ready to move back into on Monday. That Monday afternoon Rylie and I went back home. It felt eerie to be there again. I sat stiffly on the couch jumping at every sound and Trotter growling and patrolling the living room every time I jumped. After an hour Rylie packed out bags and we went back to my brother's house. It was clear that neither Trotter nor I would be comfortable in that house ever again. I had once loved the little one bedroom home. We put it back on the market and hopefully it would sell quickly.

Rylie and I found and rented a small two bedroom house three doors down from Maria and Edward on Tuesday and soon we were settled into our new place. I was able to relax at home although I had to have Trotter nearby at all times. I went back to work on Thursday. By ten o'clock Charlie came into the bank leading Trotter.

"What's going on?" I said taking the leash from him.

"It seems your Protector went alittle crazy when you left him to go to work." Charlie began.

"Oh no." I said.

Your front door is scratched up and the picture window is busted out." He said, "Ry couldn't calm him down. He was frantically searching for you. He told me to bring him to you. He's home fixing the window and replacing your door." He sighed.

"This is the dog that saved you?" My boss said walking up behind me.

"Yes." I said apologetically and firmly pulled on Trotters Collar to stop the growling, "Careful Mr. Collins, he is still very protective."

"You may bring him to work with you provided he is kept in your office and he behaves himself." He said keeping his distance.

"Thank you sir." I said waving to Charlie and taking Trotter to my office and closing the door. He chose to curl around my feet under my desk. I found I was more relaxed knowing that Trotter was there with me.

This too became a routine. Every morning Trotter and I were greeted at the bank. Mr. Collins had even taken to giving him treats every morning to the point that Trotter would seek him out to get his treat. I had tried to leave him home with Rylie one day and was met with disappointment at the bank and was visited an hour later by a very disgruntled husband and a very excited Fur baby. Everyone of course greeted Trotter and he made his rounds and then made his way my office and sat in the doorway.

"He whined and carried on. I decided to take him for a run like we use to do before _you_ became his favorite. Once we were out the gate he drugged me here." He said.

"I'm sorry Babe, it seems I have stolen your dog." I chuckled.

"Yeah, I know." He grinned.

"We were going to make her go get him at lunch." Mr. Collins chuckled handing Trotter a treat.

Finally things seemed normal. I was hanging out with all of my nieces (Ali, Carly, Clair and Jane) and my two honorary nephews (Ethan and Alec). I had fixed the extra bedroom into a room for them when they spent the night. I loved being their aunt. I got to hang out and do all the fun stuff with them and had to do none of the discipline that their mother's and Father's had to do. Ali, Clair, and Ethan would tell me their secrets. On nights that we had all 6 kids Rylie and the boys would construct a fort out of four sheets I had sewn together tossed over the entertainment center, the bookshelf, and the two large floor lamps while the girls and I would pop popcorn and order pizza. The pizza delivery guy always got a chuckle at the monstrosity of a fort that we had in the living room. We all slept in the fort on those nights. We tried to keep that to a one Saturday a month but we always had one set of kids at some point each weekend.

We only lived in that house about a year until the house just down from it came up for rent. It was a four-bedroom home with a giant fenced yard. We moved in and our first weekend in our home our nieces and nephews came to spend the night. We had pizza and ice cream for dinner and then brownies for dessert. Our fort was set up and after the kids were asleep Rylie and I carried each one to their beds. I had worried that I would never know the joy and laughter that children bring but it turns out that I had a full house and a full heart. I was blessed with nieces and nephews that I was able to borrow. I quickly became the favorite aunt because at Aunt B-B and Uncle Ry's house anything goes! Ice cream for dinner? Sure! Staying up all night? Yep! Pillow fights in room-sized fort? Uh, what else is there to do? Snowball fights with rolled up socks? Why not! Yes, My husband and I spoiled our nieces and nephews unmercifully.

I was excited about tonight! Today was my brother's birthday and tonight after a birthday dinner for him, all of the kids were coming to stay with us. I already had the fort up and a pile on sock snowballs ready. I think at times we are worse then the kids.

Jaz POV

I left the office and headed home. I cursed the road construction as I sat behind a construction worker holding up a stop sign. I watched as a semi drove forward and backward trying to get the trailer across the small driveway. The truck kept jerking the driver obviously used to an automatic transmission. I watched the truck struggle as a line of cars formed behind me. I was so irritated. Bella said she had a surprise for me and wanted to tell me alone before my birthday dinner. I called Bella to tell her I would be late.

"Hey Babe. Everyone is here. " She answered cheerfully.

"Hey, I am stuck behind the road construction, again. I swear this truck driver has never driven a standard before." I grumbled.

"More of those cement tubes?" she asked.

"Yeah" I said, "Well crap! He's going to run off in the ditch." The driver gunned the engine and did indeed hit the ditch causing the cables to snap with a loud crack and the large cement pipes to roll off the truck and head straight for me. "Oh God! The cables snapped. Those tubes are loose."

Everything went into slow motion. The construction worker dropped the sign and ran. There were so many cars behind me there was nowhere to go. I didn't have time to move. The cement tubes were going to crush my truck. I was going to die. I could hear Bella screaming for me to get out of there.

"Darlin' I love you. Tell the kids I love them. Those tubes are going to hit my truck. Baby, I think I am going to die." I said.

"JASPER! No!" She screamed as one of those tubes hit the truck. I could see the second one smash into the first sending it catapulting onto the hood. I threw myself into the floor in an attempt to get out of the way. I still had the bluetooth headset on and could still hear Bella's panicked voice. I groaned in pain as the steering wheel was crumpled into my legs and I felt my bones snap. The truck was closing in around me and it was hard to breathe. I gasped for air and listened to Bella cry. I tried to tell her it was ok but I couldn't get a breath. Everything went black the only sound I could hear was Bella's crying begging me to say something to her. I wanted desperately to tell her it was ok, to hold her, comfort her.

I could hear shouting outside of the truck. There was a lot of bustle but I focused on Bella. I heard her father tell her that I was breathing and that maybe I just couldn't talk. Remind me to thank that man.

"Jaz, Baby, if you can hear me I love you. " She started humming our lullaby into the phone her voice tremoring from sobs I'm sure but the tone did help some. I lay in my dark space listening to her hum until I felt a warm hand touch my face then remove my headset. I wanted to snatch it back or scream at who ever took it but all I could manage was a groan. I listened and a woman was talking to Bella.

"Bella? It's Charlotte. Do you remember me from the hospital?" the voice said, "Bella, go to the hospital. I will stay with him until you can be with him." It was Charlotte. I remembered her from the hospital and that is where they were taking me. She had just told Bella to get there. I felt Charlotte take my hand and I curled my fingers around it. She was my lifeline right now.

Charlotte began to talk to me, "Jasper, there are some men here who are going to get you out of the truck but they are going to have to cut the truck apart to reach you so it will take some time." I groaned as I felt something moving my leg and a sharp pain ripped its way through my body. "I know it hurts, Jasper. They are cutting the steering wheel free. It will be gone soon." She said squeezing my hand.

I moaned again twenty minutes later as they rolled me to my side and then back over on to a backboard. It hurt when they strapped me down but once it was done and I wasn't being moved around it wasn't too bad. That was until they transferred the backboard to the stretcher. They had to drag the backboard out of the truck and I was terrified that they would drop me. I could hear it screeching of metal against metal. I was then lifted into the air and then jostled onto the stretcher. I groaned again this was the most excruciating pain I had ever felt. I felt the air around me rushing past and was afraid they would drop me but I was tied down and at someone else's mercy. What if the gurney topped over? Were the rails up? The air changed and seemed warmer. I must be in the ambulance now. I felt someone siding something around my arm and then it tightening. I realized that was a blood pressure cuff.

"Jasper, I am going to start an IV. You will feel alittle pinch." I was startled as the needle bit into my arm. I was getting worried it seemed that the ambulance ride was long.

At the hospital there was a lot of bustle and I could hear Charlotte and Bella's voices but they were talking too low to be understood. I recognized Dr. Call's voice as he gave instructions. I was irritated when I felt someone slip off my wedding band.

"Bella, his hands are swelling. Here is his wedding ring." Dr. Call said.

Someone was cutting my boots and jeans off. They had removed my shirt at some point before they strapped me down. I was still having trouble breathing and they put a mask on my face to help me breathe. I was able to breathe alittle easier but was still having trouble. I heard Dr. Call tell Bella that my legs would require surgery and then that she needed to take it easy because pregnant women could miscarry under stress. She's pregnant? Was that what she was going to tell me tonight? I was pulled back to reality when Bella whispered; "I will see you after your surgery. I love you, Jaz." Then she softly kissed my cheek. I felt her tears in that kiss. I just wanted to hold her. I felt myself being wheeled away and tears slipped out of the corners of my eyes. I just wanted to stay with Bella.

I felt someone wipe my tears with a soft tissue and then a woman's voice whispered, "I know you must be afraid. We are going to take good care of you. I am Carmen and I will be with you until you get back to her."

I focused on that voice as the doctors and nurses where walking around. I tried to tune out everything else.

My heart sank when I heard someone say, "We should have waited is he even going to make it through the surgery?"

"Yes." Carmen hissed at her, "Although he is not fully awake. He can hear every word you say!"

I started to panic if I was going to die I needed Bella there. Holding my hand. More tears spilled out the corners of my eyes as I thought of the child I would never meet. It was hard to breath I started breathing harder but was getting no more air. I was dying right here surrounded by strangers. I was vaguely aware on Carmen trying to calm me down. I could hear her voice but I couldn't focus on her. I was trying desperately to hold on. I couldn't die here! This was not how my life was supposed to end. I wanted to watch my children grow up! I needed to see them graduate and then walk them down the isle. Who was going to spoil my grandkids? I couldn't let Bella have the baby alone with out me there to support her.

"JASPER!" I heard Carmen shout. I stopped and focused again on her. Then she spoke softly, "You are going to live through this surgery. You are in stable condition. You are having surgery to pin the bones in your legs then we will take you to Bella." I began to calm down but it was still hard to breathe. Carmen continued talking to my, "Jasper, you seem to be having trouble breathing. Dr. Call is going to put a tube into your airway to help you breathe better before he fixes your legs. We are about to give you some medication to make you sleep so we can fix you. Then we will get you back to Bella." She said taking my hand in hers. I felt myself getting heavy and then nothing.

Bella's POV

It killed me to watch them take Jaz away. Dr. Call was taking him for surgery to fix his legs. He also said that they would have to re-inflate one of Jasper's lungs and remove the shard of rib from the other. Jaz would be intubated and put on a ventilator. Dr. Call said that a medically induced Coma would be best for Jaz's body to heal. So when he comes back from surgery he would be in a coma. Edward and Maria led Charlie, Esme, and me up to the ICU room that would be Jaz's. Took a seat in the chair was beside the empty bed and shattered again. Edward knelt beside me and I clung to him and cried. "Today was supposed to be happy! It's his birthday!" I sobbed. Edward held and rocked me while I fell apart.

Three hours later Dr. Call came in, "Jasper's surgeries were all successful. He has a lot of swelling in his brain and it has busted the blood vessels in his eyes. We will need to limit all stimuli. I am only going to allow two visitors at a time for now. When you see him he will have a tube down his throat to help him breathe, a tube in his side that is draining the blood from his lung. We had to start a large bore IV in his neck to give him blood, and he has his regular IV, and he is hooked up to a heart monitor. It will be scary but know that all those tubes and wires and helping him." We all stepped into the hall to allow them to get Jaz settled. I was horrified when I saw him. My knees buckled and if not for Dr. Call I would have fallen.

"Bella, I am going to prescribe you a mild anti-anxiety medication." He said.

I forgot myself and said, "But the baby."

"It won't harm your baby." Dr. Call said and asked a nurse to go fill my medication.

"You're pregnant? How long have you known?" Esme asked.

"This morning, I realized that I missed a period last month so after I dropped the girls off at school I picked up a test. I took it and was planning to tell Jaz tonight before everyone got to the house tonight." I said sadly, "He doesn't know."

Dr. Call made sure I took my medication and then escorted me in personally. It hurt to see him like that. His body was swollen and he was covered in bruises. I sat in the chair bedside his bed and stared at him. Dr. Call said he would come back later. Everyone cycled in and then it was just he and I. Dr Call came back in to check on Jaz throughout his shift. He spoke with me about the possibility of bringing him out of the coma next week.

I couldn't be here all the time. I would have to be there for Ali and Clair. I couldn't bear the thought of leaving Jaz. I sat tortured all night long.

Early in the morning Maria came in. She had her laptop and quickly explained that she could work from right there and that I needed to go pick up the girls and talk to them. I quickly got around and left telling Maria I would be back. I had until noon to figure things out. She said, "Bree and Rylie took everyone home. Bree is anxious for an update."

"Were the girls upset?" I asked.

"No. Ali knows something is up but she's just worried about you and her dad. She is such a little grown-up 7 going on 30." She said, "She has kind of taken a protective role over Carly. She has kept her occupied."

"That's my Ali-girl. She's so much like Jaz. She is so tender hearted." I said, "I will be back by noon. I am going to go figure out what to tell the girls. Will you call me if there is any change?"

"If he so much as twitches I will call you." She promised.

I left the hospital and headed to Bree's. I didn't know what to say to my baby girls I sat in their driveway for quite a while until Rylie came out.

He pulled me into a hug. "We're here for you. If you need anything just ask. We love you both."

I told him what I knew about Jaz's condition. He wiped a tear and wrapped an arm around me and led me into the house.

"The kids and Bree are asleep. Bree hardly slept at all last night and the kids of course stayed you late watching movies. Why don't you go lie down for a little while." He said.

"No, I'm- well, I just need coffee." I said.

"Hey, Little Sister, Jaz needs you to stay healthy. You and asleep on your feet! The kids are sleeping in the living room. Please go lay down in one on the bedrooms. There is a full size bed in the first room on the left. Please! I don't want Jaz to kick my ass for not taking care of you." He finished teasing trying to get a smile.

"Ok. But if the girls wake up." I started.

"Bells, I promise I will wake you _only_ if they need you." He said steering me to the room.

I lay on the bed and tried to sleep. I thought of Jaz and wondered if he understood what was happening. I fell into a restless sleep and was awakened by a soft knock on the door. Bree quietly walked in and handed me my phone.

"What happened?" I worried.

"They need to take Jaz for some tests but they need you to sign a release so they can do it." I jumped up and headed to the door.

"Wait! The girls are still here. Ry and Emmett are taking all the kids to the zoo. They are planning now. Give them 15 minutes and then you can go." She said. I nodded and sat down on the bed. "Bells, you look so pale. Are you ok?" she worried.

"I'm fine. It's just stress and…" I almost slipped again.

"And what?" She asked.

This secret was too much to keep. I decided to tell her, "I am pregnant. I figured it out yesterday and was going to wait till Jaz got home to tell him but..." I trailed off.

"Oh God, Bella. I remember Jaz talking about what stress and the last pregnancy did to you." She said, "The girls will ask to stay the night again. I will just tell them that they can. You just focus on you and Jaz. Tomorrow afternoon you can tell them and then we will keep them as much as you need us to. We are here for you and Jaz." She said with tears in her eyes.

After they were gone Bree and I went to the hospital. I signed the forms and noticed that Jaz looked like he was in pain. I called a kind nurse named Carmen. She checked him over carefully and then gave him some medication. She watched him until we were both satisfied that he seemed to relax alittle. They took him for testing and Dr. Call beat him back to the room.

It scared me when he knelt in front of me. I knew something else was wrong. "The pressure in his head is increasing. I need to relieve the pressure. I need to temporarily remove part of his skull. We will put the piece on bone inside his abdomen until it is reattached to keep the tissue alive. After the swelling is gone we will put it back." I cried as I listened to him explain the procedure. They would be taking almost half of my husband's skull off. The procedure sounded awful. I did the only thing I could do for Jaz and sign the papers trusting Dr Call to know what to do. Bree and I sat and cried. Edward called Esme for me and she and dad came to wait with us. Edward explained the procedure to his mother and she wept while my father sat comforting her. I had cried so much that I just couldn't cry anymore. I retreated inside my mind to happier times. We all sat waiting and I started at the door. Dr. Call came in an hour later and I followed him to the recovery room.

Jaz's head was wrapped in a bandage and he looked so frail lying there. Jaz had never been fragile before and seeing him like this was frightening. I sat with Jaz trying not to completely lose it. I held his hand and again retreated into myself. I sat remembering our story. I thought of those years I wasted with Edward. I wished I could have spent them with Jaz. Not that I didn't care about Edward it's just that he wasn't who I was meant for. I only heard Dr Call say that the surgery went fine. He told me he would talk to me later knowing full well I wouldn't hear him anyway. When they came to transfer Jaz back to his room Dr. Call walked beside me.

"Are you with me now?" he asked gently.

"Yes. Sorry I was so preoccupied before." I said.

"It's understandable. The surgery went well. As soon as the swelling is gone we will put the piece of his skull back." He said.

"How long will it take?" I said sounding like a frightened child even to myself.

"It's hard to say for sure but maybe a couple of days or it could be next week." Dr. Call said.

"Bella, you are doing extremely well given your history with pregnancy. After everything is settled I want to check your blood pressure and make sure you are still doing well." He said as we hesitated outside the door waiting for the nurses to get his settled. Maria was helping to get him on his bed and everything hooked up again. Esme walked up beside me and asked haw he was doing. I told her that the surgery had gone well and parroted back what Dr. Call had said. As soon as the room cleared I took my place at Jaz's side. They were only allowing two visitors at a time and Esme insisted that she needed to talk to me.

Once I was out of the room she asked, "How did the girls take it when you told them about their father?"

"I haven't told them yet. Ry and Em took them to the zoo today to get them away from all of this. I plan to tell them tomorrow afternoon." I said bracing for the fallout. In times of stress I had been told that Esme would lash out.

"What do you mean, you haven't told them?" she all but yelled.

"Esme, this isn't the time or place." My dad said.

"She is just leaving those babies in the dark. If it were me…" she began.

"It's not you!" Rose hissed in a low tone coming to my rescue, "Bella's got enough to deal with. This way she can have as much information as possible to give them. At least while she is here dealing with all of this she knows the girls are happy and safe. She said she was telling them tomorrow. She let them have a couple more days to be carefree and be kids. After this they will learn hard life lessons that no young child should have to learn about life's lack of fairness."

"I was just…" Esme trailed off.

"Well just don't. This is hard enough without you adding to the drama." Rose said as she ushered me back into Jaz's room. I guess Edward must have taken Esme home because Dad came and sat with me the rest of the day.

We reminisced about the old times.

"I have a funny story. You haven't heard." I said, "Remember when you came home and Jaz and I were acting really guilty the summer that Emmett lost his car?" I stopped seeing his smirk.

"You two were not as sneaky as you thought you were." He grinned.

"Wait, you know don't you?" I squeaked.

"Bells, when I pulled up the curtains were opened and I saw you sitting on his lap kissing him." Dad smiled, "And Jaz was way easier to crack then you are!"

"He told you?" I said.

"Yes, he told me. I cornered him a couple nights later when he was staying over, you where taking a shower and we were watching the game. I waited till I heard the water running and then turned off the TV. I turned to Jaz with my best cop look and said 'Boy, what's going on with you and my daughter?' The color drained from his face. He said, 'No-nothing.' He squeaked." Dad chuckled.

"You're so mean." I said.

"'Don't you lie to me.' I told him, 'I already had this talk with Bella. Last chance, do you want to tell me the truth now?' I thought the boy was going to pass out. The told me that you two were hanging out watching a moving and you ask him about kissing." I blushed as he chuckled again.

"I really wanted to kiss him but I wasn't quiet sure how he felt. So I asked him to teach me." I confessed.

"He told me that you had asked him to teach you how to be a good kisser and that he could never tell you no. He said that he really liked you but there was no way you would ever like him back like that. I decided to have a little more fun that day. I asked, 'And just what else do you plan to teach my daughter.' Nothing Sir. I promise nothing else happened!' And it better not ever!' I told him. I thought he was going to pass out. That was the day I knew you two belonged together. He spoke of you with such devotion and the love in his tone is the same as it is now. He has always loved you." Dad said smiling sadly.

"I wish I would have turned Edward down when he asked me to be his girlfriend back then." I said.

"So do I." Edward said quietly from the doorway, "Charlie, mom's waiting in the waiting room for you.

Dad left and Edward joined me.

"Edward, I'm sorry! I-" I stopped because no matter what I couldn't bring myself to lie to him and say that I didn't mean it.

"Bella, it's ok. I regret asking you. I only ask you because I knew he was going to. I was always in competition with him back then. I screwed up and wasted time that you two should have had together." He said sadly, "It's like mom said, my selfishness cost you two and a half precious years together that you will never get back."

"She said that to you?" I asked in disbelief.

"It's the truth isn't it?" he said.

"Edward, I shouldn't have said that." I said, "We had some good times together. You and I are better friends then we ever where as a couple."

"I know." He said, "Emmett and Rylie got back with the kids alittle while ago. Bree and Ry are watching all of them again. Rylie said it keeps Bree's mind busy. Everyone's worried about you."

"I'm ok. I just have to stay positive." I said.

"I will stay with him tonight if you want to go get some rest." He offered.

"I wouldn't be able to sleep anyway." I said.

"Bells, I don't know if I am suppose to know but mom told me that you were pregnant. Bella, you are going to have to take care of yourself." He said.

"I am trying. I do better when I am here so at the very least I know that if something happens I am here with him." I said.

"I understand. I will take care of your animals. Bree said you could stay there to be closer to the hospital." He said, "Also when you go to talk to the girls I will be here with my brother."

"Thank you." I said.

"There are something's I wish I could talk to him about." Edward said.

About that time Maria popped her head in, "Edward, can we talk?" she sounded sad.

"I'll be back." Edward told me as he stepped out the door.

I listened to the muffled conversation and felt like crying. Maria was convinced that Edward was cheating on her because her mother had told her he was. She told him that they would wait to deal with everything when they had more answers about Jaz. He told her that he couldn't stay at their house as long as Mindy is there. He said he had packed a bag and would go stay in a hotel.

"Edward, are you cheating on me?" She asked with tears in her eyes.

"No Maria I am not. I wouldn't risk our family like that." He said miserably.

They walked in trying to act normal. It irritated me.

"Edward you can stay at the house. I swear that bitch causes trouble every time she comes to town! You all are wasting time with this stupid fight. Maria, can't you see what she is doing?" I hissed tears spilling down my cheeks, "I would give anything to have more time with Jaz and here you are letting your mother destroy your relationship."

"Bella, I- shouldn't have came to talk to Edward here." Maria said.

"No! You shouldn't be fighting over something so stupid. What grounds does your mother have to accuse Edward of cheating? Have you seen any proof? When does he have time? If he's not at work then he has Clair and Jane. He doesn't have time to cheat but go ahead waste your time. One day you will regret every second that you spent anywhere but with your family." I said turning my back on her.

I heard her sniffle whispering that she was sorry and Edward walking her to the door telling her it was ok. I laid my forehead on Jaz and my joined hands. I forced myself to take deep breaths and stop with the tears. I had to be strong for Jaz, the girls and ours unborn child. I'm not sure how long it was before Edward came back in.

"Bella, I hate that you heard all that! Please don't be upset. You fixed everything with what you told us. Thank you! Mindy is going to a hotel and is spending tomorrow with the girls and then going home tomorrow." Edward said kneeling beside me.

I raised my head to see Maria kneeling beside Edward, "Bella, I shouldn't have brought this here. I didn't think about you being about to hear us." She said.

"I'm glad you did if my outburst helped end your fight." I said.

"It did." Edward said hugging me gently.

"You guys go on. I will be fine here." I said.

After they left the only company I had was the nurses that came in to check Jaz's monitors. They where very friendly and told me the results every time. They were mostly improvements and a few no changes. That next morning Dad and Esme came in. Dad visited with me but Esme remained silent. She was angry with me over waiting to tell the girls about Jaz until now. About two hours later Edward and Maria came in.

"I need to take you to Bree's. Mom started telling the Ali what happened and she freaked out. She thinks you're both dead." Edward said pulling me into the hall. I ran to keep up. I called Bree and talked to Ali and told her I would be there in a minute. She was hysterical. Edward got me there fast and I ran to my baby girl. Esme was seated in the corner of the room staring. I glared at her. How dare she.

"I was trying to help. She asked me where you all were and why everyone was so sad." She said.

"I can take it from here." I growled ushering my girls it to a guest bedroom. Edward sat at the foot of the bed as I talked to the girls. Carly buried herself in her Uncle Edward's chest sobbing.

"Mom, Is my dad dead?" Ali asked tears welling in her eyes.

"No. He is in the hospital and they are keeping him asleep to let his body heal." I said.

"What happened? I saw Uncle Ry holding Aunt B-B and she was crying." She said worry etched in her features.

"You dad was in an accident. His truck was smashed with him inside. They got him out. He is hurt really bad now he's in the hospital and they are taking good care of him." I said.

"I want to see him." She said.

"Sweetie, right now he is hooked up to all kinds of monitors and machines. Baby, I am afraid it would scare you to see him right now." I told her gently.

"Momma, I need to see that he's not dead." She said her eyes pleading with me.

"Sweetie…"

"Momma, PLEASE! I just need to see him." She begged starting to get upset again.

"I am not saying no but can you give me time to talk to his doctor. Daddy is hurt really bad and needs his rest to heal. Can we give him some time?" I asked her hoping to appease her.

"OK, if it will help daddy." She said sadly.

"Ali, this is not a yes either. I need to talk to his doctor. He may say we need to wait." I cautioned her.

"I know." She said. I pulled Ali into a hug.

Ali pulled away and quietly said, "Momma, can I just be alone for awhile?"

"Of course sweetie." I told her as Edward and I took Carly out of the room.

I looked back at her before I left and was reminded of Jaz as Ali sat staring absently at the wall as if the secret to life was in there somewhere.

Carly looked at me from Edward's arms and asked, "Mommy, I'm sad. Will daddy run away?"

"Oh, my sweet girl. Daddy and I wouldn't ever run away from you and your sister. We love you so much." I said stuffing the tears down deep.

" I wana hug my daddy." Carly trilled.

"Oh, Baby girl." I sighed trying to find the right words to say knowing that whatever I said would break her little heart, "Sweetie, Daddy is in the hospital so the doctors can help him get better."

"Why can't he get better here?" she asked tearfully.

"Well, sometimes people that get hurt really bad like daddy did need doctors to help them get better so the doctors can take care of them." I said.

"When will he be home?" she asked.

"I don't know yet. The doctors are taking the best care of him that they know how." I told her.

"I will draw him a picture today." She said satisfied for now. I walked back to Ali's to find her sitting quietly on the bed. I stopped and she said, "I still need time, mom."

I went to the kitchen and called the principal of the girl's school. I explained the situation and what I had told each of the girls. I spent a few minutes talking to the family before I went back to my babies.

"What's going to happen now?" Ali said.

"Well, your Aunts and Uncles and I will take turns sitting with daddy until he's better. I plan to be with you girls as mush as possible. At night after you are asleep I will go stay with daddy. Maria will sit with daddy at 6 so I can come get you two ready for school and then when I drop you off I will go back to daddy until time to come get you guys. Then we will spend the afternoon and evening together and after you go to bed I will go sit with Daddy. We will stay here with Aunt B-B and Uncle Ry so I can be closer to the hospital. The girls seemed satisfied with that Carly ask me to give her daddy a kiss for her and skipped away to tell Aunt B-B that was would be staying with her. Ali reminded me to talk to the doctor about her seeing her dad after Carly left the room. That afternoon Emmett took the girls to ride 4 wheelers and then to have a wienie roast. I went along but counted the minutes till I had the girls to myself. When it was time to eat the girls cuddled next to me. Carly fell asleep in my arms and Ali leaned against me and nodded off. Rylie and Bree took the girls home and Emmett drove me back to the hospital.

That night there was an increase in swelling in Jaz's brain and minor brain bleed. They took him and ran more tests. I called Edward than sat in Jaz's room and prayed that I didn't have to explain death to my babies. I rubbed my hand over my belly and prayed that this baby would know Jaz. Every child deserved to have a father like Jaz. By the time Edward got to the hospital I was a tear-y mess. I walked into the bathroom and washed my face. Dr. Call was waiting for me when I returned. He had ordered a few more tests. I began to get anxious until he reminded me that even if there was no change it was good. He said that he was stable and that the medication that they were giving him was preventing him from waking up, feeling pain, or getting upset.

A week passed after that with little improvement. Ali hounded me daily about seeing her father. Dr. Call scheduled an appointment for the baby and did the exam at the hospital so I could be near Jaz. He did and Ultrasound and I was astounded that I was already three months along and didn't even realize it. I sat waiting for them to bring Jaz back from another round of tests and sat staring at the empty space where Jaz's bed had been and realized that there was a lot of empty space that Jaz left, a man in a suit pulled me from my thoughts. One look and I knew he was a lawyer.

"Mrs. Whitlock?" he asked.

"Yes. You are a lawyer." I stated willing him to disappear.

"Yes. I represent…" He began.

"The construction company. Give me your card and I will have my lawyers contact you." I said holding out a hand.

"Mrs. Whitlock there's no need for you to be out the expense of a lawyer. I have a settlement right here for you." He started.

"My husband is a lawyer, His sister is a lawyer, and her husband is a lawyer. I won't be signing anything today. I will have my lawyers call you. " I said putting his card in my pocket for Rylie and Anthony to deal with. In all honesty Anthony would most likely handle it. Poor Rylie had his hands full with Bree, the kids and I. Bless his heart, he tried to fill in for Jaz when ever he could.

Two more weeks passed. Jaz's skull was back in place and the bruises where beginning to fade away. So when Dr. Call came in to wait on Jaz to return from yet another round of testing, I told him about Ali's pleas and my fears. He offered to meet with us in an empty ICU room and explain the equipment and how it helps Jaz when I was ready to bring her. He said that he could hide the chest tube if it was not ready to come out by then.

"I would like to bring her on Friday morning after I drop Carly off at school." I said.

"That sounds fine. I will meet you in ICU room 1 right across from the elevators at 8:30." Dr. Call said.

"You're bringing Ali here?" Esme said from behind me. I turned to see the horrified expression on her face.

"Yes. She begged to see him. She understands that her daddy is hurt bad but part of her is terrified that he is dead and we are all just lying to her." I said sadly.

"This is a mistake! You can't be serious! She's seven!" Esme said, "Bella, I have never interfered with the way you and Jasper raised Ali but Bella you are not thinking clearly right now. You can't bring her here. It will traumatize her."

"Esme, it's not open for discussion. I am bringing Ali to see her father. Please don't make an issue of this." I said.

"I still think…" She began.

"Esme, maybe this isn't the best time." Dad said ushering her out of the room.

"Am I doing the right thing?" I asked Dr. Call.

"You know Ali best Bella. What would be worse for her? Seeing Jasper now and knowing what is going on or wondering if her father is really alive." He asked, "Only you know what is best for your daughter."

"I'm still bringing her." I said.

"Alright then." He said.

"I won't let you." Esme said walking back into the room.

"Esme, I am her mother. I will make the decisions I think are best for my children." I said.

"Bella, I am still her biological mother. My opinion about this has to matter." She said.

"What does that mean?" I demanded sounding alittle less intimidating then I wanted to since we were in the ICU ward and I was keeping my voice down.

"It means that I am going to see what my rights are. Bella, don't make me do this." She said with tears in her eyes.

"Esme, I know you are trying to do what you think is best but you don't know her like I do. Don't push this issue. I know what my legal rights are and where yours end. It has been five years since you remembered that Ali was your daughter. Your time to contest the adoption has expired, if you push me, I will push back. Now is a time to pull together as a family, not tear into each other. Please, Esme, I have all I can handle right now." I said.

"Do you think this is a good idea?" Esme asked Dr. Call.

"If I thought it would be harmful to Alice or Jasper I wouldn't let this happen. Alice is wise beyond her years. It's sometimes easy to forget that she is seven." He said, "From what Bella has told me it sounds like the worry of not knowing is going to eat her up."

"I want Jake consulted about this." She said to me.

"That is a good idea. I was thinking of having the girls both see Dr. Black this week. I think Ali might benefit from talking to him." I said.

"At least we agree on something." She snarked.

"Esme, I think it's time to go. Can you give me a minute with my daughter?" My Dad said sternly. I watched her stomp out of the room, "Bella, I promise she won't be a problem for you. She's just upset. How are you doing?"

"I'm hanging in. I keep busy and don't think about it mostly. When I am here I try to stay positive." I said.

"Bells, if you need me I am always here." He said reaching to hug me.

"Please don't!" I said sidestepping hating the crushed look on his face, "If you touch me I will fall apart and that is a luxury I can't afford. Jaz will be back soon and if he can hear us it would upset him. I'm sorry but I cannot break right now. I really need to be alone."

"I understand. Call me if you need anything." He said and headed for the door.

I was left alone with Dr. Call again. "Jasper should be back in about ten minutes. I am going to check in on my other patients and then I will be back as soon as I look over the test results."

"We came as soon an we heard." Pops said walking into the room.

"Pops, you didn't have to rush back. There's really nothing to be done except wait." I told him.

"Were else would I be? I feel like you kids are mine and I wouldn't miss being here for you all." He said.

"Pop's it was your honeymoon!" I said.

"And Jaz is family!" Stephanie Clearwater said, "We wouldn't dream of being anywhere else."

"Thanks guys!" I said.

We sat there in silence until they brought Jaz back. The nurse smiled sympathetically and motioned me to his bedside.

"Would you like to help me situate him?" She asked.

"I would." I said eager for the chance to touch him.

"He just looks uncomfortable to me." She said.

"At home he sleeps on his back." I said gently positioning his arms and legs to a very Jaz-like pose.

She chuckled, "So he's a bed hog?"

"Yeah, he is." I said brushing his hair away from his eyes.

Dr. Call came back into the room and said that Jaz was stable and there was a good deal of improvement. He said that the swelling in Jaz's brain was gone. I held onto the fact that there was improvement and that there was hope.

I asked Pops and Stephanie to stay at the house. They had planned to take a month long honeymoon and there house would be ready when they got back. They had moved of their stuff into storage and they had let their apartments go. Their House wouldn't be ready for another week. They had agreed to stay and insisted that they help with house hold chores. I agreed to let them help and handed Jaz's keys over to them. Stephanie stayed with me while Pops went to get settled and see about chores. We sat in silence until Esme came back at 3. I wasn't in the mood to exchange pleasantries. I told her about Dr. Calls test results and she was thrilled about the progress that he made. I told her that we were still limiting his stimuli but that she should ask to help reposition him when the nurses came in. I told her I would be back at 9 and kissed Jaz's cheek. I called Bree and told her that Pops and Stephanie would be staying with me so I wouldn't need to stay over with them. She asked me if the girls could still spend the weekend with her and Ry. I said we would see how Friday went. I told her about Dr. Calls test results and about the progress that he made. I told her that we were still limiting his stimuli. The girls were excited to see Stephanie and at home played and giggled for an hour until it was getting about suppertime then the girls fell into a somber mood. They set the table quietly and helped clear the table after dinner. I took alittle alone time with Carly while Ali did her homework and then took alone time with Ali while Carly was in the shower. I told Ali about Friday and she smiled sadly. We sat on the porch swing as she told me about her day. I was sad that she sounded so melancholy. She was too young to have to deal with this. She burrowed into my side and slipped off to sleep. I carried her to bed and got Carly out of the tub. Carly was upset when I went to read to her from the chapter book that she was Jaz had started.

"NO Mommy!" She screamed as I reached for the book. I froze and looked at my baby girl who was almost hysterical. "Daddy put that there! I'm going to wait for daddy to read it with me." She insisted.

"Ok, Would you like for me to read to you from a different book?" I asked.

"Can tell me a story?" She asked.

"Of coarse." I started telling her the story about when Jaz and I were kids. And got an idea from a new book and remembered the pencil drawings that Jaz had done and thought it would be neat to use them to illustrate the book.

She was asleep soon and so I showered and changed into comfortable clothes. I was about to start laundry when I remembered the business card in the pocket is my jeans. I fished it out and tucked it into my purse. I would call Anthony in the morning. I hugged Pops and Stephanie and headed to the hospital. Dad was there with Jaz when I got there and so was Dr. Call. Embry told me that there had been alittle more improvement. When they were repositioning Jaz he groaned in pain. Esme broke down and so Dad came to sit with him.

"Why is he in pain? The medication that you have him on was supposed to keep him from waking up, being in pain, or getting upset. That was your words Dr. Call." I said fighting to stay calm.

"Jaz isn't responding to the medication the way most people do. His vitals and bouncing around and I think he may be aware on what is going on. Bella, his blood pressure in high and I think he may be upset. He hasn't responded to voice commands although his blood pressure and heart rate spike when he is asked to squeeze my fingers. I would like for you to see if you can calm him down. We can back him out of the coma and start him on pain meds if you can." He said.

I didn't wait to hear any more I rushed into my husband's room and gently took his hand, "Jaz, I'm here baby." I saw on the monitor his heart sped up, "Sweetheart, I need you to calm down." I watched the monitor pleased to see his pulse rate even out. "Jaz, you where in an accident."

"We have given you medication to keep you still and were hoping to keep you asleep so you could heal." Dr. Call said, "We will switch medications and start giving you pain medication. You will still be sedated but you may be able to move around alittle in an hour or to."

"I am here for the night. Maria will come sit with you at 530 so I can get the girls to school and then I will be back at 830. Then at three your mom will come and stay with you till nine. I will come back when the girls are asleep. I love you Jaz." I said delighted to see that his heart rate was remaining level.

Dr. Call stopped the medication then came back ten minutes later with a syringe of Jaz's new medication. He explained that it was to manage Jaz's pain and it would sedate him. I sat holding Jaz's hand humming out lullaby. I was half-heartedly typing one handed on my laptop when I felt a slight squeeze on my hand.

"Jaz?" I whispered. His hand twitched again. I sat my laptop aside and hit the call button for a nurse as I stood beside Jaz's bed.

"Baby, can you do that again?" I whispered. I kissed his forehead as he squeezed three more times.

"Did you need something?" The kind nurse said as she walked to the bed. I grabbed her hand and put it in Jaz's. "Baby, squeeze the nurses hand."

She looked at me in shock, "He's fighting against the meds. They shouldn't be gone yet." She said to me. Then to him, "Can you squeeze my hand if you are in pain?" She asked. There was no squeeze. "So you are not in pain right now? Squeeze if that is correct." There was a squeeze. "I'm going to go wake Dr. Call. He stayed in the on call room tonight." She said as she rushed out of the room.

"It's so good to know you can hear me. I love you so much. I was worried about you." I said taking his hand.

Dr Call came and took his other hand, "Jasper, can you squeeze with this hand." Jaz squeezed my hand again. "Can you squeeze my hand Jasper." He repeated. He squeezed my hand both times you told him to squeeze." I said.

Dr. Call took both hands and told him to squeeze with both hands. He only squeezed with his left again. Dr Call asked him if he could wiggle his toes. I watched intently willing his feet to move. His pulse rate was climbing and I could tell he was getting frustrated. "Ok, Jaz this is good. The medication is leaving your system. I will come back and check your motor function in an hour and see what else you can move. I want you to rest until then. Don't try moving around in will just wear you out and take longer to regain the use of your other arm and legs."

Jaz opened and closed his fingers and relaxed them when I held his hand again. I was happy to see that he was relaxing again. "Are you in pain?" I asked. He squeezed once softly. "Was that a yes? If it was squeeze again." He squeezed again. I called the nurse and she came and gave him more pain meds. He seemed to be resting peacefully. Dr. Call came in and since he was resting he just talked to me. He told me that they were completely stopping all meds to sedate him. He said that we shouldn't be discouraged with a plateau in progression. He talked to me for a while until I felt Jaz squeeze my fingers.

"He's awake." I said. Dr. Call took both of Jaz's hands and then said, "Squeeze both hands." He smiled, "Good, can you wiggle your toes." Nothing. "That's Ok. You just need more time. Can you lift your hands?" Again nothing. "Baby steps, Jasper. This is a small victory." He said

After Dr. Call left Jaz squeezed my hand again to let me know he was awake still. I told him that the girls were ok and that I was bringing Ali to see him. He squeezed my hand sharply and a tear rolled down his face.

"Jaz, I know you are worried about them but they are ok. They are just worried about you." I said and felt a gentle squeeze, "Ali's been so worried about you. She thought you were really dead and that everyone was keeping it from her. In her mind you are so much worse off then you actually are. I am meeting Dr. Call in an empty room and we are going to show her the machines and tell her what they are for. So she isn't afraid when she sees you hooked up to them." I said. Nothing, no squeeze, "Baby, please. Don't be upset. She needs to see you. Maybe you will be off of some of this equipment by then if you keep doing this well." I told him. I relaxed as he gently squeezed my hand and then laced his fingers through mine and I know he wasn't upset with me.

Jaz POV

I lay there so frustrated, afraid of what the future might bring. I could only communicate by squeezing someone's hand. It broke my heart to hear how scared my babies where. Bella was trying to make things ok for them. I squeezed her hand alittle to tightly and she began trying to explain herself and I felt bad. I thought for a minute trying remember how to fan my fingers and was delighted to feel my fingers slide between hers. I lay there holding her hand feeling the slight tremor that alerted me that she was crying. I wanted to pull her into my arms and hold her. I fought to open my eyes. I felt my eyelids flutter and heard a sharp intake of breath.

"Jaz?" Bella whispered.

I fought to open my eyes. I managed to blink a couple times and then my eyes drifted close again much to my dismay. Bella seemed excited. I briefly saw her sitting on my bedside. I had seen her tear streaked face and knew that I had to open my eyes again. The stress was wearing on her. She had dark circles under her eyes and she had lost so much weight. She was pale and there was something going on with her. Dr. Call would pull her out of the room and when they thought they were out of earshot he would give her a time for blood work or an appointment. I was worried about her.

Dr Call spoke from the door, "Bella, can I see you for a moment?" I felt her hand slip from my hand and then her footsteps retreating to the door and stop at the door. I fought to open my eyes again and they opened just a slit. I saw her stop just short of the door and in a hushed voice I heard Dr Call say, "You have to take better care of yourself. Jaz and the kids need you to be healthy." He finished. Something clicked a flicker of a memory. In the ER someone and told Bella stress was bad for pregnant women.

"I know. I'm doing my best." She said.

I fought harder and got my eyes open wide enough for Dr Call to notice. He turned Bella toward me. Our eyes met and she flew over to me. I tried to lift my arm but there was something holding them down. I looked to see that there were straps holding my arms down. I looked to Bella in confusion and pulled against them again. She caressed my face softly and told me that the restraints kept me from pulling the breathing tube out. I was irritated. Dr Call walked over and undid the arm closest to Bella and I pulled her to me. I held her tightly.

I made a gagging sound and Dr. Call said, "Jaz, I'm going to remove the ET tube and we will see how well you can breath with just being on oxygen. I will be back." Then to Bella, "Don't let him mess with that tube." I shifted a little and Bella sat up. I reached over and freed my other hand and pulled her back to me. I held her close relishing in her warmth.

When Dr. Call came back I didn't want to let her go. He prepared to remove the tube and then told me to breathe out hard and started removing the tube. I coughed as the tube came out and Dr. Call slipped the nasal canula on my face and whisked the tubing away. Then he was back asking me questions. I was horrified when I couldn't get my mouth to say the words that I formed in my head. When I tried the words slurred into unrecognizable sounds. I looked to Dr. Call and then at Bella. Bella looked as afraid as I felt. Dr. Call said that he was going to schedule some more tests and that we shouldn't panic yet. He went to order the tests and I pulled Bella to me. We just held each other silently. Finally she pulled back and grabbed her computer.

"Can you type?" She asked me placing the computer on my lap.

I placed my hands on the keyboard and typed, "r u pregnant?"

I looked at her and could tell there was something she had been hiding and I was afraid. I could get through just about anything as long as she was here. I was afraid that she was sick or worse yet.

"R U ok? Did U miscarry?" I typed in a panic

"I'm fine." She started, I started typing again and she stopped to read.

"What was that with DR. Call? Baby, please! I know something is wrong!" I typed taking her hand.

I watched her intently as she drew in a ragged breath, "Jaz I was going to wait to tell you because I didn't want to overwhelm you." She paused and kissed my cheek and said, "Please, stop looking so scared! It's a good thing. Yes, I am pregnant and everything is fine." I sat the computer to the side and pulled her to me. She shifted so that she was leaned against the bed with her head lying on my shoulder. I grabbed the computer and typed, "Boy or girl?"

"I don't know yet?" She said.

"When?" I typed.

"Next month" she smiled.

"I really need to call everyone." She said.

"Wait? I want to know more about what is going on." I typed.

"Your mother will be pissed if I wait." She said.

"Ok. Call then." I typed knowing that it would be her that everyone would be upset with.

I sat with a hand on her stomach and listened to her make the calls and was surprised when she typed, "The girls?" I nodded excited at the prospect of seeing my children.

Bella went to warn the nurses about the swarm that was coming and was surprised when they started clearing out unnecessary machines and brought in a few more chairs. I asked if the girls knew about the baby. Bella said she was waiting until either I woke up or she found out if it was a brother or a sister. We decided to wait just awhile longer to tell them. I toyed with her hair and nuzzled her neck. Dr. Call came back to give us the plan. He said that in about ten minutes they where going to take me down for an MRI. They drew some blood and he chuckled as my daughters came charging in. Pops and Stephanie took seats and Bella moved to the chair beside my bed. Carly hopped up on the bed and burrowed into my side. Ali stopped short beside the bed and slid her hand gently under mine. I gently tugged on her trying to get her to come closer.

"Ali, Sweetie! You can get up there with him." Bella said.

"I don't want to hurt him." Ali whimpered and my heart ached for her.

Bella picked her up and gently laid her on my other side, "You won't hurt him. Why don't you snuggle with him until they come to take him for a few more tests."

I smiled and I wrapped both of my girls in a hug. My mom came in and sat on the edge of my bed. She took in the girls and me and then shot Bella a less then friendly look and I sensed the tension between them. I reached out for Bella's hand and squeezed it in a show of support for my wife so my mom could see that what ever it was I would stand with Bella.

"Jaz, I am so glad you are awake." Mom said.

I smiled and nodded to her. Her face fell. "Why isn't he talking? What's going on? Is he all there mentally" She trilled. Both girls looked up at my and began crying at the thought that I may not be ok.

"Yes, he is ok mentally! He is having trouble speaking right now. He was typing to me earlier and he can form full sentences. Please don't scare the girls!" Bella said as she hovered over the girls, "Shh! Babies, your daddy's ok. It's ok." I hugged the girls tightly.

"May I speak with you outside." Bella growled at my mother. I watched them leave wishing I could be out there.

"Can you type to me?" Ali ask sitting up grabbing Bella's computer.

I took it and typed, "I missed you girls!"

"I missed you to daddy." She said rising up to kiss my cheek.

"I love you daddy." Carly said.

"I love you too." Ali read the screen to her.

Dr. Call came in followed by Bella and mom. He said it was "picture time" the girls giggled as he told them he was making sure I still had a brain as he ran everyone but Edward and Bella out. I typed, "What is going on with u and Mom?" She leaned down and kissed me then whispered, "Everything is fine. I will explain everything later. Just relax. I love you and I will see you later."

I hugged her and then she stepped back so Edward and the nurses could shift me onto a stretcher. I reached for Bella one more time and she gave me a hug. If not for Edward Bella would have been left in the waiting room but my brother insisted that she come with us. In the elevator I swiped Bella's cell phone and typed him a thank you. He smiled at me and told me it was the least he could do. My eyes never left Bella's face as they prepared me for my tests. I felt a spike on dread as they finished. I just knew that they would all leave me. Edward explained that he would stay with me but Bella would have to leave and was dancing around the baby.

Finally Bella said, "He knows. I will be just outside the door and as soon as it is safe for the baby I will be back."

Edward grinned, "Congrats man!"

I grinned back. I handed Bella her phone and she kissed me softly before she walked out the door. I took a deep breath.

"She's right there, Jaz. You can see her through the window." He whispered to me. I grinned. I knew I was acting like a baby. "I would be the same way. I can't imagine how you must feel." He whispered.

After the test Bella came in and Edward went to do whatever radiologists do. She sat the head of the stretcher up alittle so I was comfortable then pulled up checkers on her phone. We played the game until Dr. Call came in with Edward.

"There was some trauma to the part of your brain that processes what you think into words that you say. There is a speech therapist that has had great success with helping her patients talk again." Dr Call said.

My eyes fixed on Bella, "We will deal with it." She said to me then to Dr. Call, "Is there any other damage?"

"No. The trauma will heal but everything else looks fine." Dr. Call said.

They took me back to my room and I snuggled with my girls. Everyone kept encouraging me to rest and I was tired but there was no way I was letting go of my baby girls until I just had to. Emmett brought the girls and Bella supper and visited for a few minutes then let Rose come in to visit. They had to take turns sitting with their kids. Dr. Call finally came in and said that there could only be three visitors at a time and so Bella told me she was going to take the girls home and she would be back at 9 and then she asked Edward to stay with me until she returned. Everyone rotated through to visit. I typed my contributions to the conversations and waited till Mom came in.

When she and Charlie came in I pounced.

"Oh sweetheart, I'm so glad you are ok?" She gushed.

"Thanks." I typed, "What's going on with you and Bella?" staring her down.

"Just a difference of opinion. It doesn't matter now!" she said.

"You upset the girls today." I typed.

"I'm sorry I wasn't thinking. I was worried." She said hanging her head.

"Jaz, why don't we have this discussion later. Bells wants to explain everything to you. That's why I am here until she returns." Edward said shooting my mom a silent warning.

"Well I think I should be here too." She said defiantly reminding me of Essy instead of my mother.

"No, that's not a good idea Esme." Charlie said quietly.

She didn't say much after that. The conversation was mainly Charlie and I. He told me about ratting me out to Bella about telling off on her when she asked me to "teach her to how kiss". I grinned and listened to him retell the story of my "near Death experience´ via Charlie. Edward laughed so hard he nearly cried. After they left Maria came in and Snuggled into Edward's side.

"Where are the girls?" Edward asked.

"Emmett and Rose have them. I just wanted to come say hi." She smiled then said to me, "I'm glad you're ok! You had us all worried!"

I smiled and typed "Thank you! You sat with me in the mornings and gave me a daily report of the family."

"You heard that? I can't believe you remember." She said.

"I don't remember all but bits and pieces I locked in on. You used to tell me about Bella and the girls." I typed.

"I didn't know if you could hear me or not but I knew voices seemed to comfort you so I rambled." She said.

"And rambled and rambled and rambled!" I typed teasing her. She laughed.

We sat and visited until Bella came in and then Maria seemed embarrassed.

I caught her hand and then typed, "What's wrong?"

Edward wrapped his arms around her and said, "We let Mindy come between us and Bells called us out of it."

"No, I let my mother come between us and I'm ashamed to say that I added to Bella's stress." She said hanging her head.

"It's over now. No more stress! Just happiness and relief from here on out!" Bella said pulling Maria and my brother into a hug.

Thanks!" Maria said.

After they left I pulled Bella to me and held her tight. We lay together holding each other. Bella fell asleep in my arms. I took note of the remaining tubes and wires. I still had a heart monitor, a chest tube, an IV in my neck, and then there was that catheter. I wished I knew how long all of that would be attached. I also wondered how long I would be in this glass room. I typed that questions and lay waiting for a nurse. I saw Dr Call through the window and waved. As he came in I put my finger to my lips. I didn't want him to wake her. He took a seat next to the bed as I handed him the computer. He started typing.

"I am writing orders to move you to a private room downstairs tonight or in the morning. Everything will come out after they move you. I need to try and sit you on the side on the bed for a while to see how well you tolerate it before I move you." He typed back.

I gently shifted to lay Bella on the bed beside me and woke her. She looked so tired. She sat up and I showed her the computer screen and she grinned. She moved from the bed and sat in the bedside chair. Dr. Call helped me to sit up and Bella helped position my legs. I hated how weak I was. I was out of breath just from sitting up and I had to have help. I was beginning to get discouraged until I saw the glowing smile on my wife's face.

"You are sitting up." She said excitedly. I smiled alittle and concentrated on sitting up straight and catching my breath. Dr. Call seemed pleased and said that he was going to get a nurse to help steady me and help me to stand beside my bed for a few minutes. He came around the bed and motioned for a nurse to come in. I just focused on Bella's joy and tried to share her feelings. I knew that I would be weak after being bedfast for so long but I was frustrated by it. When the nurse came in she and Dr. Call got on either side of my and Bella stood in front holding my hands. I watched the clock after about thirty seconds I was tired but I kept standing, after one minute and thirty seconds I started shaking and Dr. Call told me to sit down. I was frustrated with myself everyone seemed excited but I wasn't satisfied with my progress. Dr Call settled me back in bed and said that he was going to go write orders and told me I had done well.

I lay there trying to catch my breath watching Dr. Call out in the hall. I was still shaking alittle. Bella took my hand and drew my attention to her. When I looked at her I felt bad her face had fallen and she had a worried expression on her face.

"What's wrong Jaz? Are you in pain?" she asked softly.

I shook my head and grabbed the computer. The scared look on her face hurt killed me. My fingers flew across the keys. "No pain! Just frustrated! So weak! Can't talk! Just disappointed!" I typed hoping to make things better.

I saw the tears well in her eyes as she hugged me, "Baby, it's ok. You have been awake for less then a day. This is wonderful! I know you are frustrated at not being able to just jump up and be completely ok. One of the nurses told me very early on that you might always be in a coma. You being awake and here with me is an answered prayer! So now we keep praying! This is a good thing" She said holding me. I stiffened as I saw Victoria come through the door.

"I'm not here to cause trouble. I have been hanging around to make sure he was all right. I have been careful to stay away from Bree and Harry. I know I messed up with both of them. I know they are both happy now and I'm happy for them both. I just needed to see that you kids were ok. " She said softer to me, "I have been around since two days after Bree had to shoot her father."

I began typing and she said, "I'll go. I know you don't want to see me." I looked at Bella and then to her.

"Wait, Victoria! He is having trouble with his speech. He is typing a response to you. Come sit by him. Just read the screen." She said moving from the chair to the foot on my bed. She sat beside me and then said to Bella, "I'm sorry."

"It's over and done with." Bella said.

I typed, "I will be alright. I really hope you aren't here to cause trouble. Bree has been through too much already. We are all ok now."

"I heard about Bree's miscarriages. I heard about the new baby you are expecting. I am so happy for you all." Victoria said, "I know I can't see them but how are the girls?"

I looked to Bella and she said, "They are doing well. They have been worried about their dad. Ali is in the second grade and Carly is in kindergarten." I pulled up a picture on the computer and showed her the girls.

She got alittle misty eyed and said, "Wow. They are beautiful. Carly looks just like you, Bella. Ali got Carlisle's eyes like you did, Jasper."

"Ali acts just like Jaz. She's just a carbon copy." Bella offered.

Dr. Call came back and told us that I was being moved tonight. Victoria had disappeared after finding out my new room number. There was a lot of bustle as they prepared to move me. Dr. Call and Charlotte helped me to transfer to the wheelchair. I sat watching Bella pack the computer into its case and grab her jacket. I sat trying to catch my breath and looked around noticing that there were no personal effects here.

"When you get to your new room we can bring in stuff. We weren't allowed to in ICU. They didn't want to risk infection." Bella explained.

The elevator ride was short enough but I was getting sore. I hated that stiff feeling that comes with overworked muscles.

"You're scowling. You'll get you strength back. Quit worrying about it!" Bella said. I looked up and grinned. Bella always seemed to know what I was thinking. I grinned at her. When we go to my new room I was surprised to see Victoria with flowers, balloons and a gift bag. She waited outside while they got me settled into the bed then came in and set the bag on the table. She was alarmed when she saw I was having trouble catching my breath.

"He's ok, Victoria. He hasn't moved around in a while and so he has to catch his breath." Bella said kindly.

"When I think about the fact that I almost lost any chance of making things right between us, I just…" She hung her head, "Is it too late? Have I lost any chance of being part of your life?" I looked to Bella. I didn't know what to say.

"No," Bella said, "We can send cards and letters and maybe we can come to visit you for an afternoon every few months but Victoria, it can never go back to the way it was. You must maintain self-control always when we are around. IF ever it starts slipping back to the way it was the visits are done! This only goes for us. You will still need to leave Bree alone." I was shocked that Bella was willing to consider letting her into our lives. The way she did it Victoria was back in but on our terms. I smiled and typed to my mom, "Where are you living now?"

"In Jacksonville Florida." She said and I grinned. Mom had always wanted to vacation in Florida but Dad never would. Mom had always loved the sun. "I know. I have a therapist there that I see twice a week I skype him from the motel room right now since I am here. My last book "Visions from the Past lead To the Future" did better than I expected." Mom said.

"I read it! It was really good." Bella said.

"Thank you! I would like to set up a college fund for each of kids and somehow give Bree and Rylie some money anonymously. I know how bad I screwed up with her. I know I cannot make it up to her but I would like to make life easier." She said.

I typed, "Did you pay her medical bills?" I smiled as she nodded, "I can figure out something. A forgotten trust fund that Carlisle started of her as a baby?"

"That sounds good to me." She said, "Where do I start the account?"

"Dad has an account at the other bank in town. He liked to keep money hidden. It only has a couple hundred dollars in it and it has been forgotten for quite some time. I am on it and I will put Bree on it and take myself off of it. Then I will discover it." I typed.

"Thank you Jasper." She said. She then handed me the forgotten gift bag, "This hardly seems enough now."

I took the bag and pulled out a package of underwear, a package of socks, a pair of green and blue flannel sleep pants and a green tee shirt. "Thank you, mom." I typed, "I will wear it after I get a shower." I smiled.

"You're welcome Jasper." She said hugging me gently, "I love you."

"I love you too, mom." I typed.

"I am going to go back to the motel room 423." She said kissing my cheek and hugging Bella and heading out.

I am here to remove your tubes and wires as you out it." Charlotte grinned as she bounced in.

"I thought you worked days?" I typed.

"I do. I am covering half a shift for a friend. I will be leaving at Midnight and be back here at seven.

I took Bella's hand and smile reassuringly at me.

Bella's POV

I sat and held Jaz's hand as Charlotte removed the large bore IV from his neck. She explained that she would have to keep pressure on it until it clotted off. Char worked as quickly as she could. I was a little startled at the size of the tubing. She stood and held pressure to his neck. I sat there trying to keep a smile on my face when I really wanted to cringe and close my eyes. He squeezed my hand and smiled reassuringly as I realized that I was holding my breath. I smiled back weakly and held his gaze. After the bleeding stopped she moved around to remove the chest tube. Dr. Call had warned that this would cause Jaz discomfort. She un-taped the chest tube and ask if Jaz was ready. He nodded and she told him that she was going to start pulling. She said that he would experience some discomfort. She started to pull and he gasped at the pain he wasn't prepared for. It seemed like she pulled on the tube forever. The tube was longer that I thought it would be. This wasn't easy to watch. Jaz's eyes never left mine. When She removed his catheter it was done very discreetly allowing Jaz to keep his dignity. She pulled the gown up just far enough she could see the tubing but he was still covered and deflated the balloon then slid the catheter out. Jaz didn't seem bothered by it and I was relieved. She was finally finished.

"I am going to take all of this tubing out and then I will be back. We will move you to the chair. I will make your bed then I will start a new IV." Charlotte said.

"Can I take a shower? I feel so grimy." Jaz typed giving her his best puppy dog eyes trying to charm her.

"You, Mr. Whitlock, are Trouble! But yes I will get a wheelchair and I will let Bella help you take a shower. " She paused seeing his grin and added, "As long as you can behave yourself."

"You just took all the fun out of it!" Jaz typed teasing her and winking at me.

"You better behave yourself! I will call your brother and have him some give you a shower." I chuckled.

"You girls are mean!" He typed with a sigh.

Charlotte chuckled as she left. When she came back in she wasn't alone, "Jaz do you remember when Bella was here and I told you about almost losing my husband?"

"Yeah, you must be Peter. " Jaz typed recalling.

"Yes. It's nice to meet you. Char told me about you when Bella was here. We prayed for her." Peter said after reading the screen.

"Thank you!" I said, "I'm Bella! I appreciate the prayers."

"You are welcome." He said.

"When Char came home upset and told me that you were in an accident and were in bad shape I was sorry to hear it. I am glad you are doing well now." Peter said, "Is she taking good care of you?"

"Yeah but they are mean! Always ganging up on me." Jaz typed and actually chuckled. The noise shocked all of us except Peter who didn't realize what a big deal it was.

"Jasper? Can you try to say something?" Char asked staring at him.

"Something," came a strangled voice that sounded foreign to even Jaz from the look on his face.

"Smart-ass" Char grinned, "Keep talking. No more typing." Char said swiping my computer from him.

"I love you Jaz!" I said.

He grinned and said, "I love…" He started coughing, "love you too."

I hugged him trying to hide my tears, "It's so good to hear you say that."

"Don't cry Darlin' I'm ok." He rasped.

Peter and Charlotte left after helping Jaz to sit on a shower chair. I helped him shower and get his underwear and Pants on. Jaz was able to stand briefly to transfer to his chair with my help. Once he was on the chair he pulled me onto his lap and kissed me. My body responded to him like it always did. I kissed him back and then stood up and wheeled him out of the bathroom. Char had just finished making Jaz bed and grinned.

"You do know what behaving is right?" she grinned at Jaz.

Jaz grinned and squeaked something. He frowned and started coughing. It hurt to hear him try and fail to talk. He was frustrated and just gave up. He sighed in defeat. I looked at Char hopes that she would have some answers.

"Jaz, does you're throat hurt?" she asked and he nodded.

"You have done well today. Take it easy for tonight. You will start speech therapy soon." She said patting his shoulder.

Char and I steadied him as he got into bed. He grinned at being able to do it himself. Jaz mouthed thank you to her although he couldn't make a sound.

"You're welcome." She said smiling, "You will get your voice back, Jaz. Have patience."

I sat beside him on the bed running my fingers through his hair. He fell asleep and looked so peaceful. I gently slid off the bed and went back to my chair. It was midnight and I was wide-awake. Stephanie was taking the girls to school then Bree was going to bring them over here after school. I grabbed my computer and started working on my book idea when Kate popped up on a messenger.

Kate: Hey Bells! How is Jaz? Any change? Irena was asking if I thought you would write an autobiography for her. She said it would be so useful in her practice.

ME: A drastic improvement! Jaz woke up today. J No diminished mental capacity. He is having trouble talking and is really weak. You know Jaz, he's frustrated because he wants to jump up and run a marathon. Let me think about the bio and I will get back to you.

Kate: That's amazing! I'm glad Jaz is doing well. I will tell Irena. She has a patient that she thinks your story could help.

ME: She is welcome to tell her my story. I really don't want to write a bio because there are so many things that were said and done that have been forgiven and I really don't want to bring them up again.

Kate: I understand that. Night! Get so sleep!

ME: Night

That night I slept lightly. Every move Jaz made woke me. By morning I had given up trying to sleep. Dr. Call came in and looked at me with a concerned look on his face.

"Have you slept at all?" He asked gently kneeling beside me.

"I tried to." I said.

"Maybe you need to let Edward stay with Jaz tonight and go home and rest." He said.

"Then I would get even less sleep then I do now. I have to be near him." I panicked.

"Easy Darlin." Jaz rasped, "Come lay down with me."

I moved over to him and he pulled the covers over me. He felt so warm and my body just molded to his. Dr Call said he was going to order total rest until noon. Then Jaz was going to meet his physical therapist and this evening he would start his speech therapy. Jaz held me and I fell asleep.

A/N:

I am debating on having Bella do a Auto Biography. If she does in my mind it will cause more chaos. What do you think? Write it and deal with the fall out or not write it and be safe from that drama?


	16. Chapter 16

Jaz POV

I lay with Bella in my arms taking note of the dark circles under her eyes, and her obvious weight loss. I hated the thought of her running herself into the ground. She should have been taking care of herself and reducing her stress. I marveled at the way she had helped our children through this and sit with me. She made sure everyone was taken care of. Well everyone except her that is. She was nothing short of amazing. I held her in my arms and must have fallen asleep as well because the next thing I knew I heard whispering beside me. I opened my eyes to see Char and Bella visiting.

"Wow! Jaz you sounded like a grizzly bear over there snoring." Char laughed.

I smiled and attempted to speak which came out as a groan. I sighed in frustration.

"You'll get there Jaz." Char said.

"You had the perfect smart ass come back, didn't ya, Jaz?" Bella giggled. With that the mood was lightened.

Char introduced me to my physical therapist. His name was Eric and he was a giant. He stood 6'5" tall and looked like a body-builder. He helped me to stand and then transfer to a wheelchair. He told us that he was going to take me to a physical therapy gym and I would be back in my room in three hours. I must have looked apprehensive because Bella came to my side and hugged me.

"Is there anything you need from home? I think I'm going to run home and pick up some things. I thought you might like your drawing pad and tablet." She asked, "Handing me her cell phone.

I typed, 'My phone, some clothes and my shoes, and wedding ring.'

She smiled the most beautiful smile and then took a chain out from around her neck and removed my ring from it and slipped it back onto my finger. I kissed her softly before she stood up leaving my her phone.

"I will be here with the girls at three thirty." She smiled. We all rode the same elevator. I held her hand until our floor and then waved to her.

As Eric and I continued down the hall he said, "Your wife seems really sweet."

"She's the best thing that ever happened to me. We have two little girls at home and she's pregnant again. I worry about her. The stress of my accident has really taken a toll on her." I typed to him.

"I see that. Dr. Call has been keeping an eye on her though. She's tough. I saw her stare down a lady, I'm guessing her mother, in the hall one day over Ali. I'm guessing one of your daughters." He said.

"Ali is my oldest. Her mom died when she was just a few hours old. Did this woman have reddish blonde hair?" I typed.

"Yeah, she did. I assumed that she was her mother because she's Chief Swan's wife." He said.

"She is actually my mother turned mother-in-law after she married Bella's dad. What was said?" I typed.

"She was telling Bella that it wasn't a good idea to bring her here and that she would stop it. I think she even threatened your wife with legal action. She was talking about her rights. It got pretty heated." He said.

I was pissed. Poor Bella was dealing with the stress of my mother on top of everything else. I made a metal note to have a chat with my mom. I typed, "I plan to address my mother as soon as I get a chance. I am finding out bits and pieces here and there. I need to talk to Bella and get the whole story but she doesn't want to upset me."

"She does seem protective." Eric grinned, "I'll bet she's a force to be reckoned with."

I smiled, "Yeah, she's got that Irish temper and can be a scary little lady when you mess with her family. I've seen my brother cower and cringe when he crossed me and she faced off with him."

"I can only imagine." He chuckled.

After we reached the gym all the talk died down. Eric helped me to stand and placed a walked in front on me. He walked beside me and an orderly pushed chair behind me. I walked half the length of the room before my muscles started shaking. He let me sit and we worked on my arm strength. I did curls with three pound weights. My arms burned after only ten reps but I pushed through. I was so weak and it pissed me off. Eric got me up again and I finished my walk across the room. I was exhausted. I was then able to relax in a whirlpool before walking a little further. After that it was time to go back to the room. I was surprised to find it was almost 4. I was eager to get back to the room. Eric cautioned me not to try to do too much.

Bella and the girls were playing cards when I returned. The girls ran to me and hugged me. We played cards until the speech therapist came it and Bella and the girls took a walk.

Bella's POV

The girls and I took a walk outside while Jaz was in therapy. I knew that he got frustrated trying to talk and was worried the girls would be upset seeing him upset. I took the girls to get ice cream. By the time we ordered and walked back to the hospital we had killed as hour. Jaz was in the shower when we returned and Char was sitting waiting for us. The girls started eating their ice cream and I knocked softly on the bathroom door. I could tell by his voice he was upset. He came out of the bathroom and pulled me onto his lap and held me. It broke my heart to see him upset. The girls finally noticed that Jaz was out of the bathroom and the moment was gone.

"Daddy!" Carly squealed as she ran to Jaz and snuggled in close and hugged her daddy tight.

"Carly, be careful! Don't hurt him." Ali scolded cringing as she watched her sister hop up in his lap. Ali followed but she was so cautious and careful with her father as if she thought that he would break.

Ali stood beside him and whispered, "I love you Daddy!"

"I love you too Baby girl." Jaz whispered in a scratchy voice.

Ali had been treating Jaz as if he was a bubble that would pop at any moment.

"Hey Carly? Would you and Mommy go get be some coffee down stairs?" Jaz whispered. I knew that it bothered him that Ali was so cautious with him and seemed uncomfortable around him. I took Carly and walked out of the room. Esme and Dad were walking up. Carly climbed my dad like a tree.

We heard Ali say, "Here's your ice cream, daddy?"

"Come here, baby girl." Jaz whispered pulling her into a hug.

"Daddy, don't hurt yourself." She shrieked.

We could hear Jaz whispering to her and then her crying. Esme tried to charge in but I stopped her.

"They need this time! Walk down to the cafeteria with us and give them some time." I said Dad put an arm around her and we walked to the elevator.

"What are you thinking? She can't help him." Esme complained.

"Esme, I am so tired of being told my business! Ali and Jaz need some alone time. She is so afraid of hurting him and it's killing Jaz that she's afraid to touch him. HE ask for this time and that's what he's getting!" I told her.

"Mother knows best." She snarked.

"That's right Esme! I do!" I said as the elevator doors opened. I strode past her not waiting for a response. Carly came scampering to my side and we selected a Marshmallow Latte that Carly insisted that 'Daddy would love'. After I paid and headed back to the elevator Dad took the Coffee and Carly and said firmly, "Talk to her Esme! We will be waiting for you upstairs." Then he was gone.

I headed to a table and Esme followed slowly. After we were seated Esme looked up at me sadly and said, "I don't want to lose you." I looked at Esme slightly confused as to where this conversation was going, "I know I have been hateful to you and I am sorry. It's just that my son is up there and I am powerless to help him. I feel so lost and out of control. I guess I was trying to control the situation surrounding him. I made things worse on you. I hate what I have done. You need to know there is no way I would have ever really fought for custody of Ali. I shouldn't have made that threat. I just feel so out of control right now. I have started seeing Dr. Black again and Bella, I am trying to get this under control. I miss you."

"Esme, I love you and that's never going to change. I am glad you are seeing Dr. Black again but I won't be your punching bag. I have too much going on. I accept your apology but if you cannot control yourself I need you too stay away. Maybe after Jaz is home you and I can start being around each other more but right now I just can't deal with anymore drama!" I said hating the hurt that I was seeing on her face and the pain that I was causing myself.

I got up and quickly made my way to Jaz's room. Dad was sitting in the chair and both girls were curled into Jaz lap. Dad slipped out to the hall and I told him what was said in the cafeteria. He was sad but understood. I hugged him and then walked back inside to my family. I grinned at the sight of Ali clinging to Jaz and the smile in his face. Bree and Rylie came and got the girls and Rylie stayed to discuss the settlement that the construction company had offered. Rylie was pleased to announce want they were offering. Jaz nearly choked. We would be set for life if neither of us worked another day for the rest of our lives. We decided to take the offer. Jaz and Rylie visited about work while I worked on my new book idea. I planned to surprise Kate with it. She was going to love the stories of Jaz and my childhood. I really thought she was going to love Jaz's Art.

Jaz quickly improved with Physical therapy and speech therapy and in two weeks time they where sending him home. Jaz was walking without difficulty and his voice was completely back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The day Jaz comes home~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jaz POV

Bella had been fussing over every detail of the house for days. She had packed up and taken everything but the clothes I was wearing and took them home. Edward had joked that she had practically bubble wrapped the house. She of course was indignant about her "preparations". Emmett said she was worse then I was when she came home from the hospital. She sat beside me this morning listening intently to Dr. Call's discharge instructions. Asking why there where no restrictions. She was so nervous today. Dr. Call explained to her that I had been here for rehab so long that they were confident that I was capable of doing anything I wanted to do. I grinned I was going home. I was so ready! I had to ride in a wheel chair one last time. When they turned me loose and I was seated in the passengers side of Bella's SUV I couldn't contain my excitement. Bella drove us home and I could tell she was nervous.

"Darlin' what's wrong?" I asked.

"There is no one here to help if we need something." She said.

"What do you thing is going to happen?" I asked her.

"What if you fall on the stairs? Or do to much and hurt yourself?" She said parking the truck in front of the house.

"I will have you to keep me from doing to much. I walked up and down the stairs at the hospital without a problem. Sweetheart, please don't worry about me." I said holding her hand.

"Are you tired? Do you need to rest awhile?" she worried.

"Right now I just want to get inside and snuggle up to my wife on the couch and watch a movie." I said knowing that is what she needed. She took care of everyone else and neglected taking care of herself. She seemed agreeable to that so she helped me up the front steps and to the couch. I stretched out on the couch and pulled her down in front of me. I grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. We lay there and I felt her breathing start to even out. She had fallen asleep. I put our phones on silent and then just enjoyed being in my living room holding my wife. I shifted her gently and got up. I went into the kitchen and threw some beans in the slow cooker along with some browned sausage, chopped bell peppers, and onions then seasoned it up with chili powder, cumin, and pepper. I was startled to turn and find Bella walking around the corner.

"Jaz, baby you need to take it easy." she said then realized what I was doing, "You're cooking? I can do that."

"I know you can but you are so tired and have taken care of everything on your own. I just wanted to do something for you. Darlin', I'm not going to strain myself cutting up peppers and onions." I said pulling her into my arms, "There are no restrictions on me. I can do whatever I want to do and that includes making chili."

"Jaz, please rest." She said, "I am so afraid of you hurting yourself." I sighed seeing the tears in her eyes.

"I know that all of this has been so hard on you. You have been there for me every step of the way and been there for the girls. Don't think I haven't noticed. It's time to let me start helping you. You are pregnant and need to take care of yourself." I said gently.

"But Jaz…" she started stopping when I put my hand over her mouth.

"Bella, do you remember how crazy I made up when you came home from the hospital? I was treating you like you were going to break. I wouldn't let you do anything for yourself or me?" I reminded her.

"Ok, point taken." She said and then asked, "Why don't we go upstairs and lay down awhile?"

"Alright. I have been dreaming of the day when I could hold you again in our bed." I said.

"Jaz, behave!" she groaned.

"I will. I just want to hold you. The rest can wait until your alittle less protective of me." I grinned. "You know I seem to recall someone making it very hard for me to behave once. Should I return the favor?"

"NO!" She said looking fearful that I wasn't going to behave.

I chuckled, "I'll behave. You need to rest and I just want you in my arms."

"Ok" she said and we headed up stairs. She looked up at me in the bedroom doorway.

"I promise, I'll behave." I said kissing her forehead. She smiled and took my hand and we walked to our bed. She curled into my side and laid her head on my chest. "I love you!" she said.

"I love you too." I said feeling tears on my shirt. I pulled her closer to me and said, "Darlin' what's wrong?"

"I can't…I just…I almost lost you." She sobbed.

I pulled her closer to me in the bed and smoothed her hair and murmured, "But you didn't. I'm right here and I'm ok."

"This is the first time I have allowed myself to think about the accident." She sobbed, "That phone call- and then I-I thought you where dead- then seeing you looking so small surrounded by all the machines and having to make decisions for you while wondering if- I made the right choice. Then sitting and waiting while you were in surgery and being terrified every time I saw Dr. Call walking in to talk to me. It was just awful! I knew I had to be strong for you and the girls but all I wanted to do was fall apart. I don't know how I held it together." she was crying so hard she was trembling when she finished and it broke my heart to see her so upset. I sat up and scooped her into my lap. I held her knowing that this was something she needed to sort out. I sang our lullaby and rocked her. I heard mom's voice in the hall and looked up to see mom in tears in the doorway. I shook my head and mouthed 'not now' to her. I needed to focus of Bella and I know there was something going on between Mom and her. I hadn't dealt with her yet but I wasn't happy with her after hearing what Eric had overheard. Mom mouthed 'downstairs' and was gone. Bella was starting to calm down but still had silent tears rolling down her face.

"Oh Darlin', I wish I could have comforted you then." I told her. She put her arms around me and we held each other. It wasn't long until I realized she was asleep. I laid her down and covered her up. Then headed down stairs.

Charlie climbed the stairs to walk beside me coming back down and I chuckled as I thought that it was a very Bella-like thing to do. I sat in my chair and Mom started.

"I'm so glad you're alright." She said.

"I love you mom." I said simply.

"You gave us quite a scare." Charlie said.

"Mom, I want to talk to you about your actions toward Bella." I said firmly.

"Look I know that she was upset by it but it's over. I didn't think she would have said anything." She started.

"She didn't. I found out from the hospital staff." I informed her and then told her. " My Physical Therapist said that the two of you were in the hall and it looked heated. He said that you were telling Bella that it wasn't a good idea to bring Ali to see me and that you would stop her with legal action if you had to. He said you were talking about your legal rights." I paused to calm myself, " Did you ever think that Bella was dealing with enough with out you adding to it? I can't imagine what she must have felt. She thought I would probably die or be in a coma the rest of my life and then had to worry about you trying to take Ali away. My God! I would have crumbled under that pressure." I kept my voice low and calm although I felt anything but calm.

"I know. I'm sorry. I have talked to Bella and apologized for everything." Mom said softly.

"Mom why would you do that to her?" I said, "Actually I don't want to know. Just know that if I ever hear of anything like this happening again. I will move my family so far away you will only see them in pictures and on holidays. I love you but you will never treat Bella that way again. And just so you know, you have no legal rights to Ali. It's been 5 years since you remembered her. Your window of opportunity is closed."

"Jasper, you have to know I would never have tried to take her." She said.

"Mom, you threatened too. That was bad enough." I said, "Look I need to get back up to Bella before she wakes up and is upset with me for running the stairs. I love you and I do want to see you but I think it would be best if you waited until this weekend to come back over. We will have a cookout or something." I said.

I hated that mom was upset but Bella was more important then her bruised ego. Mom nodded and I hugged her and Charlie goodbye and headed for the stairs.

"Jaz, let me walk behind you up the stairs. I don't want you to fall." Charlie insisted.

"Like father, like daughter!" I grinned.

"We just care, son." He said following me upstairs.

"I know you do." I said.

"Hey Jaz? Thank you for taking care of my daughter. We all tried but you know Bella." He said.

"Yes, I know Bella. Little Miss Stubborn to the Core!" I grinned.

"See ya Jaz." He said.

"Bye." I waved and headed back to Bella.

She had tears streaming down her face and was mumbling my name. I lay down with her and gently woke her. She wrapped around me sobbing hysterically. I soothed her as best I could.

"Easy Darlin' it was just a dream. I'm right here." I crooned.

"I relive that evening if I let myself sleep." She sobbed, "I thought it would go away once you were home and everything was ok but it didn't. I relive it every time I try to sleep." You didn't have nightmares the night I held you did you." I asked.

"No but I did just now." She said trying to regain her composure.

"Mom and Charlie came over. I went down stairs, "At seeing her face. I quickly added, "Your dad walked me down and back up the stairs. But anyway I visited briefly with them. When I came back you where having a nightmare."

"Can we go down stairs? I can't go back to sleep again." She said.

We spent the rest of the day on the couch watching movies. When the bus finally dropped the girls off we walked out on the porch together. The girls ran and hugged me. We had a family movie night. The girls piled on me and Bella made popcorn. We watched movies way past bedtime and decided to let the girls play hookie tomorrow. When they fell asleep Bella carried first Ali then Carly up to bed then led me upstairs. We took a shower together and I was started by how thin she had gotten. I realized the reason she was still wearing her jeans was the weight that she had lost. She looked so fragile. When we got out of the bathroom I asked her to watch another movie with me. We walked back down the stairs hand in hand and I told her to pick out a movie while I made us a snack. I looked through the cabinets and found some brownie snack cakes. So I decided to fix hot fudge Sundays. When I was getting the Ice cream I saw some pizza rolls so I fixed those too. When I came back in she rolled her eyes. I knew it wasn't health food but she was way to thin and I was determined to put weight back on her. One way or another!

"Jaz, you have enough junk food to feed an elephant!" Bella giggled reaching for the pizza rolls.

"I was hungry." I lied. I grinned as I watched her eating. Bella fell asleep in my arms during the movie. I started a second movie and must have fallen asleep too because we were both awakened the next morning by the girls.

Ali had fixed cereal for Carly and herself. They were giggling at the table when we walked in.

"Morning girls!" I smiled.

"Morning Daddy." Ali said.

"What are we doing today?" Carly asked bouncing around in her chair, "Member, you said that we were having a fambly day and we didn't have to go to school today."

"Yes I remember." I chuckled hugging both my babies and kicking their heads.

Bella brought us coffee and then we sat at the table with the girls.

"So, what do you girls want to do today?" Bella asked.

"Can you go riding?" Carly asked.

I really didn't want Bella on a horse so I said, "Probably not a good idea for awhile. How about we wait until I've been out of the hospital awhile longer. I have an Idea but I need to see if I can make these plans on such short notice. Give me a minute."

I walked out onto the porch and called a 4-D Imaging studio. I was lucky enough to get an appointment. So I hollered at Bella. She was on board with telling the girls.

We walked back in to the dinning room and I ask the girls, "How would you feel about having a baby around the house?"

Carly squealed excitedly, "We're going to go pick out a baby?" Ali was smiling.

"Well, Not exactally." Bella laughed, "Girls, I'm going have a baby. We are going to go and have an ultrasound done and we will see the baby."

The girls squealed and raced upstairs to get ready. Bella and I went upstairs and got ready too. The girls ask a million and one questions on the way. Mush to our relief none of which was where babies come from. The girls where bouncing when we pulled up to the studio. We signed in and the tech took us back. Bella lay on the small bed and the girls and I stood beside her.

"My name is Brenda. Do you know what you're having?" she asked.

Carly huffed, "A baby!" We all chuckled.

"Do you want to know if it's a brother or a sister?" Brenda smiled at Carly.

"Nope! It has to be a brother! I already have a sister!" Carly said matter-o-factly. We chuckled again. I was kinda hoping for a boy myself.

"Well, shall we see?" Brenda said flipping on the monitor. Ali's eyes were glued to the screen. Brenda started the ultrasound. The girls gasped as an image of the baby appeared on the screen. Brenda stopped and captured an image of the sweetest face I have seen since the girls were tiny.

"Is it really a boy?" Ali asked.

"Hum, let's see…" She moved the wand, "There's the arms, there's the belly, and there…you see that…that's the brother part! You were right Miss Carly. You are having a brother."

Brenda printed photos of our session and then handed "Special Big Sister" photos to the girls. When we left Bella and I took the girls to lunch. On the way home we passed a babys'r'us store and the girls insisted we stop. We walked in and the girls went wild. We followed them through the store and the girls were shopping. I grabbed a basket and the girls filled it with odds and ends of things babies 'NEED". We ended up with 6 newborn outfits, a heart beat bear, pacifiers and bottles, some blankets, and picture frames for the girls to put their pictures of him in.

On the way home the girls started talking about names. The girls were arguing in the backseat. Carly wanted to name her brother Thor and Ali was adamant that that was not a name for a baby. Bella and I chuckled.

I ask Bella about having a dinner and then telling the family about our son. She loved the idea. I told her I was ordering ribs and all the fixin's from the dinner. I wanted her to relax. She agreed to let me do it and started making calls. After she made all the necessary calls she turned to me and said, "We should call Victoria and tell her. I want to drop some pictures of the kids in the mail to her."

"Who's Victoria?" Carly said.

""Victoria is my mother." I started.

"Mamma-May is your momma." Carly said.

"I have two mother. Mamma-May is my mother who raised me and Victoria is my mother that I was born to." I tried to explain.

"Do I have two mothers?" Carly asked confused.

"No sweetie. I was born to Victoria and there came a time she had to leave and couldn't take care of me anymore so Your Mamma-May stepped in and raised me." I explained.

"Will you have to go away?" Carly said getting upset.

"Never! We will always be here to take care of you." I promised.

"Can we meet Victoria?" She asked me.

"If you want to." I said, "I know she would like to meet you."

"When?" Carly asked.

"We'll plan a trip soon." I said. Ali sat quietly staring out the window and I couldn't help the bad feeling I got to the pit of my stomach that something was wrong. Bella and I eyed each other knowingly.

At home I followed Ali to her room while Bella took a bouncy Carly to the storage shed to see the baby things.

Ali sat on her bed and asked, "I have 2 mothers too, don't I?"

"Yes. You do." I said.

"I heard Mamma-May talking on night to someone on the phone that last time I stayed with her. It was before you woke up. She said she was my mother once and she hated that I was going to see my brother like that. Are you really my brother?" she asked teary eyed.

"Oh, Baby," I said sitting beside her on the bed, "Can I tell you the story?"

"Yes." She said near tears.

"I am your Daddy and I always will be. There was a time that I was your brother. You see you were born to Mamma-May and she loved you very much!" I started.

"Then why?" She asked.

"She got really sick. She forgot who we all were. She was like small child after that. So you came to live with us. No one thought she would ever get better so we adopted you." I said.

"What's adopted mean?" She asked.

"Adopted means to take a child that was not born to you and legally make that child yours forever." I said, "After we adopted you than Mamma-May came to live with us too for awhile. Then she started slowly getting her memories back. She didn't want to split up our family so she didn't take you away from us. She just has you over a lot." I explained.

"She said some mean things about Mommy." She said frowning, "My Mommy loves me!"

"Yes, I do!" Bella said walking in and picking up Ali.

I gave them some space. As I walked into the hall I saw Carly standing in the hallway frowning into the guestroom.

"Baby Thor can't fit his stuff in her cuz of that big bed!" She said.

"Well, your brother will have a crib and his baby things in here soon. We will take all the big stuff out." I explained.

"Oh, Mommy showed me the crib and an rocking chair she said would be in his room. I just didn't know how it was gona fit!" she said.

"Can we name the Baby Thor?" She asked hopefully.

"I'm afraid not. It's against the rules." I said.

"Hum, That's too bad." She said.

I chuckled softly and took her down stairs. Bella called Edward to come get the girls and then informed me that Mom was coming over.

When Edward arrived he looked apprehensive, "So, she knows? What was mom thinking? How do you want me to handle questions?"

"Answer her honestly and gently. Think of how you would handle your daughters." Bella told him.

Carly bounded to the car while Ali walked over to Edward and hugged him tight, "I love you!" she whispered.

Once they were gone Bella called her father and told them that the girls were gone and to come over.

Mom huffed as Bella and I told the story of this afternoon. I wasn't surprised that she spoke up about Victoria.

"Why would you let her back into your life? Look at how she treated you?" she huffed to Bella.

"One might say the same about you?" I told her, "Victoria never threatened to take a child from her."

Charlie looked horrified and Mom looked ashamed as Bella finished the story.

"Who were you talking to, Esme?" Charlie asked.

"I was talking to Edward. He was mad at me for trying to step in and we were arguing about it." She said hanging her head, "You were mad at me and had gone to check on Bella and I thought the girls were asleep."

"Mom, we were going to tell her. But this was too soon. She's upset and confused." I said.

"She is afraid that you are going to try to take her. Jaz and I both tried to quiet her fears but she is still uncomfortable. She didn't want to be here for this talk because you were going to be here. She's afraid you will be mad at her or make her come live with you. I don't know how long this will last but until she doesn't want to see you." Bella said. The broken look on mom's face hurt but I was siding with my daughter.

"We will respect that. We won't be at the dinner tomorrow night." Charlie said, "Give 'em hugs for me!"

"We will. There was some news we were going to share with everyone." Bella said handing him a photo of the ultrasound, "We will have copies made and you can have your grandson's first picture."

"Oh Bells! A boy!" He stammered showing the picture to Mom, who remained silent.

"Maybe now you will have a fishin' buddy." I grinned thinking back to the time he took the girls. Ali refused to touch "that slimy thing" and Carly cried because the hook hurt the fish's lip. Poor Charlie was out numbered and had to turn the fish loose.

"Yeah. I'm gona have him playing with wormed and doing man stuff." Charlie chuckled, "It will be nice to not be scolded for being a guy. Bells, you were such an easy child."

After a few more minutes they left and we picked up the girls.

"You're getting a boy? That's great!" Edward grinned. "So I'm guessin' that is what the dinner is for?"

"Yeah. We were going to tell everyone then." I chuckled. Maria insisted we stay for dinner. Bella helped cook and Edward and I visited in the living room. It was nice just talking with my brother again.

Once we got home Bella carried Carly upstairs and tucked her in while I walked with Ali to her room and tucked her in. She was still confused and needed to talk.

"So, are you still my dad or are you my brother?" she asked softly.

"Ali, I will always be your dad! Not matter what!" I said.

"What if my other dad comes to get me?" she worried.

"He can't. He's gone forever, you never have to worry about anyone taking you away." I promised praying that I wouldn't have to explain Carlisle to her.

"You promise?" she asked.

"I promise! No one will take you away ever!" I said pulling her into a hug.

We visited until Bella came in and then Ali asked, "Was Grandma mad?"

My heart sank as she renamed my mom from Mamma-may to Grandma. I smiled gently and told her that no one was upset with her and that we were all just concerned about her.

Sunday morning we dressed and headed to church as always. Everyone came up to greet me and tell me that they had prayed for me and were so glad I was all right. They had all came to visit me in the hospital at one point or another and had all helped Bella and the girls were ever they could. I was glad to be back I had missed my church family. When Mom and Charlie came in Carly dragged them to us. Ali stayed between Bella and I.

"Good morning Grandpa and Grandma." She greeted them softly.

Charlie knelt in front of her and gave her a hug, "Good Morning Sweetie!" his usual greeting. She hugged him back as if nothing had happened.

"Mom said it was ok if I stay out here for Sunday School." Ali said looking down.

"Ok. I love you Ali." Mom said sadly.

"I love you too, Grandma." Ali whispered.

Edward and Maria came in and greeted us then we took seats. Ali shifted so she was on the other side of Bella putting the two of us between Mom and herself. She sat stiffly jumping every time mom moved. She finally relaxed when mom took the children back for Sunday School. She sat quietly through church and then we headed home to prepare for our lunch.

Edward and Maria arrived first with Clair and Jane in tow, my sister and Rylie with Em and Rose's two, Ethan and Alec arrived at the same time as Pops and Steph. Rose and Emmett were running late because I forgot to grab ice so Em offered. As lunch started Carly pouted because Mom and Charlie weren't present. Ali hung her head looking sad and Bella whisked Carly off to have a gentle chat with her. Everyone already knew the story thanks to Bella's foresight and so no one acted like it was strange at all. Once Bella returned with Carly we passed around that picture of our little boy. The room was buzzing with excitement.

"Have you thought about names?" Rose asked.

Carly spoke up, "I have but daddy said that we couldn't name the baby Thor! He said it was against the rules."

Everyone exploded into giggles. The afternoon was enjoyable. After everyone left I called Jenks and told him I would be back in the office tomorrow.

The next morning Bella had taken the girls to the bus stop and then drove me to the office. She was still nervous about me driving. I was supposed to go pick out my new truck today and I could tell she was afraid. I told her that I wanted her to drive me to the dealership on my lunch break. She wasn't happy about it but she didn't argue. I walked in to the office and watched her out the window. She sat there staring at the door. I called her cell.

"Hello" came her shaky voice.

"Darlin' are you ok?" I asked concerned for her.

"Yeah, it's just the last time you were here, you…" she whispered and I knew she was crying.

I walked out to her and opened her door, "Come in with me." I said grabbing her purse and things. Bella sat in my office and watched me work until lunchtime. As we were leaving Jenks called me into his office.

"Bella has been through hell. She never gave herself permission to deal with anything; her life was about you and the girls. You need to give her some time to adjust and process everything. You will take this week off and then will be working from home next week. I will send Rylie with the files you two will be working on then. Take care of her first! She is on the verge of falling apart! She had so much to deal with and she is still holding so much back. This week needs to be about taking care of her." He said, "If I see you anywhere near this office I will not hesitate to kick you ass. Now you are on vacation until next Monday!"

I walked out of the office and told her I was on vacation until next week. Then told her that I was going to see if Charlie would pick us up and drive us to pick up my new truck. I hopped in the passengers seat and we drove home. I helped her in the kitchen and we fixed lunch. Then I lured her to the couch where I started a make-out marathon. Bella's body responded to mine the way it always had. I could see her relaxing into me. I fought the urge to start stripping her as I knew that would lead to the nerves coming back. I wanted to relax her. I let her lead and when we finally broke apart for air I pulled her close and held her tight. We lay together on the couch just enjoying being together until I felt her breathing even out and held her while she slept. Theses are the moments I live for! I woke her getting up to go out to the bus stop to get the girls.

We walked out hand-in-hand and got the girls off the bus. While Bella fixed supper the girls wanted to know if they could ride. So I saddled Ace and Duce and watched the girls ride as I saddled Diesel. I loved the smiles and giggles as the girls rode the two old horses. The girls exclusively rode the two horses because of their age. I had been thinking of buying another horse before my accident but now I think I will wait until after the baby is born. I noticed Shadow and Mungo following the girls around and had to chuckle. The massive dog was taller then the small horse. I swung into diesel's saddle and took the girls for a ride. I lead the way listening to the girls giggle and visit. I jumped as I felt something hit my shoulder and the girls erupted into giggles. I turned just in time to see a small sunflower sailing through the air I dodged that one causing a roar of laughter from the girls. I noticed that they had their laps full of the small sunflowers so I turned and started gathering the flowers in my lap. I turned Diesel toward the girls and started throwing the flowers back at them. We were covered in sunflower seeds and yellow petals by the time we ran out of flowers to throw. We laughed so hard our sides hurt.

When we got back to the house Bella was on the porch. She came to greet her horse and I knew that I wouldn't be able to keep her off of him. I slid off and walked beside her to the barn. We unsaddled the horses and she took great care in grooming her horse. I helped the girls with their saddles and noticed them taking the same care in grooming their mounts. I picked up a brush and started brushing Shadow. Once the horses were meticulously groomed we headed to the house. Everyone washed up and we sat down to eat.

The week went by quickly and Bella seemed to be relaxing more. She was letting me do things for myself and on Friday she went to the store and didn't fuss at me when I stayed home. The weekend was spent playing with family and friends and the following Monday Rylie and I worked from my home office in the basement. For the next two weeks I worked from home. I had the dealership deliver my new truck and had driven to and from church and the store a few times. Bella seemed alittle more relaxed about me driving but was still apprehensive about my return to work.

That Monday morning she drove the kids to school and then spent the day shopping. I had asked her to meet me for lunch but she said that it would be a mistake. I could tell by her voice that she was having a hard time keeping it together.

Days turned to weeks and weeks to months and soon she was back to my Bella. Bella of coarse wouldn't take it easy. She planned and prepared for Carly's 6th birthday. Then Ali's 8th. Bella was now eight and a half months pregnant. Bella being Bella fussed over every detail of our son Garrett's nursery. It was summer and the girls helped Bella out a lot but she still seemed so tired.

One evening as she was trying to shoo me out of the kitchen She doubled over in pain. I helped her to sit down and called Bree. The girls grabbed the hospital bag and sat it by the door. Bella laid over on the table to relax. I took the bag to the truck and then went back in. Bella had her eyes closed and was grimacing in pain. When Bree got to the house the girls ran out to the car.

I asked Bella, "Are you ready to go?" There was no response just a groan of pain. I picked her up and Bree gasp.

"Jaz, she's bleeding." She said.

Bree text Rylie to go ahead and take the girls and she grabbed my keys. My eyes were fixed on my wife's pale, clammy the entire way. Bree had called ahead to the ER and Dr. Call was waiting. I carried Bella in and laid her down. I was pushed against the wall and then escorted out. I looked helplessly at Bree who had just hung up her phone. She pulled me into a hug. I was still in shock. "Come sit down Jaz." She said softly.

"I need to call everyone." I said absently.

"I already called Esme and Charlie, Pop's and Steph, Rose and Emmett, and Edward and Maria. Rylie has all the kids." She informed me.

Dr Call's intern came out and told me that they needed to do surgery. He said something about her cervix dilating and ripping the placenta. I signed the forms and we were being escorted to the OR waiting room when everyone arrived. We sat and waited. I ignored everyone. I was of my feet when Dr. Call came into the room.

"We had to deliver the baby. He is small but strong." He started.

"And Bella?" I asked almost panicked.

"She is fine. She is in the recovery room now and will be moved to a patient room very soon. Come with me and I will take you to see your son." He said.

We followed him to the room were Bella would be and the nurse brought in my little bundle. I sat holding my son while Bree looked lovingly over my shoulder. Rylie brought the kids in and everyone crowded around. Emmett and Rose took Ali home with them and Mom and took the rest of the kids. When Bella was brought back I had to hand Garrett over. She held him close but seemed so tired. Grandpa Charlie then stole him and was telling him all of the "Man Stuff" that they would do later. I looked around at my family and smiled. We were all going to be all right!

"Has there been anyone to take him?" Dr. Call asked Edward discussing another child in the nursery.

"No. Maria has tried to find an adoptive or foster family for him but no one wants a special needs baby." Edward said sadly, "I wish I had the time. I would take him."

Bree looked up, "What type of special needs, Edward? I have been working from home for quite a while now. I would have time. Rylie what do you think?"

"We could probably do that. What kind of special needs?" Rylie asked.

"How much do you know about epilepsy? The state takes care expenses in cases like this but its heard to get someone to sign on to give up life as they knew it for an uncertain future. Some cases of epilepsy are mild and others are brutal and kills within a few short years. There's no way to tell without further testing how severe the form." Edward said.

Rylie looked and Bree and said, "Babe, you've been through so much already."

"Rylie," she started giving him and icy glare, then turning to Edward, "What happens if you can't find a home for him?"

"He goes to a State hospital." Edward said softly.

"Rylie, please! He's a baby! He doesn't belong in a mental ward! He needs someone to step up. I know it won't be easy! Babe, we could change this child's life." Bree said tears filling her eyes then whispered, "Please."

"Baby," Rylie sighed.

"Rylie, please!" she said a tear streaking down her face.

"Let's go talk to Maria." Rylie sighed.

Edward led them out of the room. Charlie handed Garrett over and headed home too. Leaving me to watch Bella and Garrett sleep.

Rylie's POV

I followed my wife to Maria's office. I knew that Bree wanted a baby and I knew that this child needed someone. I also knew my wife would fall in love fast and there was a potential of having to bury this child. Bree would be devastated. If I were being honest with myself losing another child would wreck me too. I sat and listened to Maria as she told us all of the steps in preparing for this. I was willing to do this. I just hoped that I was strong enough for what was to come. I was there for Bree when we lost both babies and I never once let her see me break. That doesn't mean I didn't though. I did that on my morning runs. I would run as hard as I could and then when I was far enough away then and only then would I crumble. It nearly killed me to lose them and I had never met them. I never held them in my arms or rocked them to sleep like I would with this child. I fear that if it came to losing this child it would kill us both. I can only imaging the pain.

We signed forms and enrolled in a weekend course on special needs adoption. I called Jenks and three hours later he came to help us. Maria and a social worker from the state signed off on a home visit and gave us temporary guardianship then it was time to meet the baby boy. Maria had told us that he was 3 weeks old and his mother had died giving birth to him and his father had signed him away not being able to face the future that this child was sure to have. His name was Raylen. She told us alittle about the child's mother. She spoke fondly of him. She gave us a lot of information. He was small for his age weighing just 5lb 13 oz. When Bree laid him in my arms I was confused by the flood of emotion I had. I was set to keep an emotional distance but this tiny boy was so helpless and I felt my heart melting. He opened his eyes calmly and looked up at me as if saying, "Don't worry dad. I'll be ok." There seemed to be a look of peace about him. His little fingers closed around my hand and I felt like a protective father at that second.

I looked at Bree and croaked, "He's so small."

We sat in the nursery with Raylen until visiting hours were over neither of us wanted to go. Dr. Call said that he would be released on after his paper work was complete. We finally tore ourselves away from Raylen. We stopped in to check on Bella and of course the crazy schemes began. Soon the girls had decided that Jaz and I would go set up the nursery and Bree would stay with Bella. Then they conned the nurse into letting Raylen stay in the room with Bree, Bella and Garrett and with that Jaz and I were kicked out. We headed to the house and set up the crib and the baby furniture. We decorated the room in the Noah's Ark bedding and put the stick on Decals on the wall and by morning all of the baby things were ready.

We headed back to the hospital Bree had called everyone to let them know. All of the adults were crowded into Bella's room gushing over the two new additions. Dr. Call came to discharge Raylen. He had made us watch a DVD of a baby having a grand mal seizure and the way to deal with it. Bree sat calmly soaking in the information. I held Raylen and felt sick knowing that this was his life. After that Dr. Call explained that he may or may not develop normally. We were told that the may never walk. He may go blind or deaf and with all that Dr. Call was telling us I wanted to take Raylen and try to outrun the disease as crazy as that sounds. I cuddled him close willing all of the bad to go away! He seemed so content and healthy at the moment. When we finally got Raylen home we sat and snuggled with him on the couch. We finally put him in his crib and finally did some real work. I had a conference call and Bree had a report she had to do and email in to the office. When I finished my call I found Bree holding Raylen typing her report one handed. I chuckled as she looked up with a guilty grin.

"I missed him." She said.

"Let me hold him. While you type your report." I said carefully taking him. I walked around the house with him. Trotter followed me. Since we had introduced him to Raylen Trotter had stayed near him. The dog adored his smallest owner. When I sat down he laid his head on my knee and just gazed adoringly and Raylen, when Raylen was asleep in his crib Trotter lay down in front of it.

I enjoyed the first two days of my week off with my new son and Bree. He had us both wrapped around his tiny little fingers. It was easy to forget that he was sick. He didn't cry or act distressed. Wednesday turned scary when he had his first seizure at home. I laid him on the soft carpet and lay beside him feeling powerless to help him as his tiny body convulsed. Bree was on the phone with Dr Call. It was absolutely terrifying to watch his tiny little body jerk and spasm. It only lasted two and a half minutes but it seemed like hours. We took him the hospital immediately after that. Dr Call said he was ok and that this was something that was just going to happen. He said that we handled it well and sent us home. Bree and I were terrified that day. Thursday went by without any problems but Friday he had another seizure and it was agony to watch. The rest of the day was uneventful. He slept most of the day only waking when we fed and changed him. Dr. Call said that the seizures would make him tired. We had to leave him that evening and again Saturday morning while we took our classes on the weekend. Bella had assured us that he would be fine. It had then it nearly killed me to go back to work Monday.

At Raylen's next doctor's appointment Dr. Call said that he was developing normally and was strong. After his appointment he had a grand mal seizure this one lasted several minutes and he was admitted into the hospital. He slept most of the day with Bree having to wake him to feed him. Bree sat vigil by the crib during the day. I was working from the hospital mostly. We had only had Raylen a little under 2 months but we were already so in love with him. It broke our hearts to see him struggle. We spent the next 2 months in and out of the hospital.

Here we are again sitting in the ER with our little boy. Dr Call finally came in and said, "I am made some inquiries and there is a Doctor at hospital in St. Louis that says there is a good chance that he can help Raylen live a semi-normal life. It's an experimental procedure but in its earliest trials had an 85% success rate. If you will sign off on it, I can put you on a medivac now." Of coarse Bree and I signed off and boarded a plane. I called Jaz once we landed and he told us he would take care of everything at home. Bree was not as fortunate at the bank. I only heard one side of the conversation but by the end of it she was crying and had quit her job.

Jaz POV

I was sitting in the office when Rylie called. I was stunned. They had gone to a hospital in St. Louis. I prayed that this Doctor truly could help them. They had fallen in love with this little guy. I couldn't imagine what they were going through. Dr. Call was always trying to prepare them to lose Raylen. I called Bella and let her know. She had fallen in love with this little guy too. She watched Raylen while Bree and Rylie had court stuff to do for Raylen's adoption.

That evening I brought home Trotter and helped Bella prepare for our dinner party tonight. Ali decided that she wanted to try to get comfortable around Grandma Esme again. So everyone was alittle jittery. Once Mom and Charlie arrived Garrett was swiped away by Charlie and the girls visited with mom. I could see that Ali's name swap hurt my mom but was glad that she didn't let Ali know. Since Ali started calling her Grandma the rest of her grandchildren followed suit. I guess it was all her doin' but I hated that she was hurt. Ali kept the conversation to school and books she read. Carly threw in our vacation that we were preparing to take to go see Grandma Tori. That's what the girls called "My other Mom". She looked to me and I knew we would talk later. Dinner went well and at the end Ali gave her grandparents hugs and kisses goodnight before heading off to bed.

Bella and I sat in the living room with mom and Charlie. Mom was the first to speak.

"So you're going to see _Grandma Tori_?" She said.

"Yes. We are staying at the Disney Resort there at the theme park." Bella said, "She's meeting us there. We thought it best to have our own space."

"Well, at least there's that." Mom snarked.

"Esme, I don't know why you are so snide about this. You of all people should understand second chances. You have been given one tonight." Bella said, "You and I used to be so close. I thought of you as a mother and a friend. It hurts to be treated like this by you."

"Bella, you may have thought of me as a mother once but I just can't sit and be happy about the decisions you are making right now." Esme quipped, "Letting that woman back into your family is trouble!"

"She's got it together now. I need a relationship with her. I know you don't understand but without her there is a piece of me missing!" I said hating the hurt my words caused my mom, "She's my mom too and I need this."

"Well, I hope you kids have fun." Charlie said.

Mom was silent for the rest on the evening. Charlie visited with us and cooed to Garrett about all the manly-man stuff that they were going to do when he was older.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~TIME JUMP~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bree and Rylie were finally bringing Raylen home. He still had seizures but there weren't as violent. For the most part he seemed like a happy, healthy 6-month-old baby. Bella and Bree started taking the boys to the park every morning to jog the trails bordering it. On Saturdays the Rose and Maria joined them at the park and the children played while the momma's jogged. I met with the guys at the gym every Saturday. Rylie and I had started hitting the gym on our lunch break noticing that we were alittle out of shape. I was grateful to be able to get together with the guys.

As our vacation drew nearer mom seemed to pull away more. It was taking a toll on the girls and mostly on Bella. She would never admit it but mom's avoidance hurt. Bella and my mom were so close when we were growing up. Mom had been a mother to her as much as she was to me. Bella had suffered silently when Esme was so sick and then reveled in the return of her health. They had grown so close again before my accident and now it appeared that their relationship was broken beyond repair. Bella had developed a close bond with Stephanie but it was nothing compared to the bond that had once been between she and my mother. I was determined to talk to mom about it. That's why I was driving toward my mother's house to talk to her.

When I pulled mom was sitting on the porch with Daisy. The old hound raised her head and bayed but didn't bother to get up. She seemed to be slowing down in her old age. Mom sat watching me on the porch swing and it stung that she didn't as much as smile at me. I walked through the gate and sat on the railing of the porch.

"Charlie's at work." She said.

"I know. I came to see you." I said.

"Why? Wouldn't you rather see your real mom." She said turning away.

"You are one of my real mom's. You were like a mother to Bella too. I know she misses you." I started.

"Doubtful." She quipped.

"We all miss you." I started.

"That's funny! You have your mother back so why bother with me?" She said standing to go in the house.

I caught her hand and said, "Just because Victoria is back in my life doesn't mean that I just forgot about you. You are still my mom! The only person besides Bella and Charlie that gave a damn about me! I love you! You are my mom! You avoiding me and my family hurts!" I pulled her in to a hug and she started to sob. We sunk into the swing and she clung to me.

"I'm sorry Jasper! I love you and Bella so much. It's killing me that I can't have the relationship with you all that I did." She bawled.

"We're still here mom. We aren't the ones who left. You blow off family dinners; always have an excuse not to go to lunch with Bella. I know you still hang out with Edward and Maria. Your actions are killing Bella and the girls. You are avoiding you own grandchildren." I said.

She looked up and asked, "Is it too late?"

"No it's not but if you are going to be a part of our lives then be there. You can't bounce in and out of our lives. Ali was upset when you missed her birthday! Will you be joining Charlie at Carly's birthday party? Or is she going to be sad as well?" I asked too irritated to sugarcoat the truth.

"Yes. I will be there. Jasper? Can you forgive me?" she asked.

"Yes. It will take time to undo the hurt that's been caused but we will all forgive you." I said, "I have to go now but I will see you tonight. I love you mom."

"I love you too." She said before going into the house.

I got into the truck hoping that this was the start of the healing process.

Everyone had gathered at the house that only ones we were waiting on was mom and Charlie. I hadn't told anyone about my visit to Mom. I didn't want to raise hopes in case she decided not to come. The kids were riding the 3 horses and the adults were visiting on the porch visiting when Charlie and Mom pulled up. Bella looked over at me and grinned.

"She came!" she whispered.

"Yes. I went to see her today. I wasn't sure if she would. I know there's a lot of hurt but…" I was saying when Bella cut me off.

"She's here. That's a start!" she rose from her chair and walked out to greet Mom and her dad with a hug.

Carly had chosen a horse theme for her party so all of the kids were sporting straw cowboy hats with a red or blue star on the front. Carly had invited her six best friends over to spend the night. All of the children got along well. After riding they did a treasure hunt and then ate nutella covered strawberries and Cheesecake. Ali stayed near mom but did talk to her until mom spoke first.

"Ali, I'm sorry I missed your birthday." She started.

"Why did you?" Ali said softly still not looking at her.

"Oh, sweetheart," Mom said moving toward her opening her arms to hug her. Ali stepped away.

"I'm not ready." Ali said, "I love you grandma but I just can't."

"I'm sorry I hurt you. I was hurting and didn't think about the fact that I was hurting you too. I'm so sorry Ali." She said.

Ali nodded and turned back to the party. Mom walked out to the porch and I followed. I stopped in the doorway as I heard Mom and Charlie talking. Mom was sobbing.

"I want to go home, now!" she sobbed, "Ali, she…"

"God, Es, what did you think was going to happen? You've hurt her over and over. Of course she's gona be wary! Ali is a lot like Jaz. She is thoughtful and cautious. She has been through so much that she doesn't let people in easily. Es, when her world was torn apart you didn't help matters. You were so determined to control the situation that you caused a lot of unnecessary pain. You called my daughter names in front of those girls and then dropped a huge bomb on Ali." He said.

"I didn't mean for her to hear that!" she started.

"And yet she did. Es, I love you and I have forgiven you but you can't just run away and hide. You created this situation and now you have to face it." He said, "Pull yourself together and then come back in."

As he came back in he pointed to the kitchen once we were there he said, "I suppose you think that was harsh. Jaz, everyone has tiptoed around her for so long, myself included, that she doesn't stop to think of how anyone else is feeling. It was all well and good until she started hurting the grandkids. I love her but the time has come for her to stop being so selfish. I'm done tiptoeing. She is a grown woman and can handle the truth!"

"I know. It's hard to do." I said.

"I know it is." He said.

As we joined the party I saw mom sitting next to Edward. She watched and Carly opened her gifts and then joined the conversation after the children went outside to play. We visited lightly until Mom and Charlie went home. After everyone except Bree and Rylie left the conversation took an unexpected turn.

Bree asked, "What is mom's address? I would like to send her a picture of Raylen."

"I'll write it down for you. I will tell her to expect it when she skypes us tonight." Bella told her.

"Do you do that a lot?" Bree asked.

"Usually every evening. The girls like to talk to her." I said.

"Does she ask about me?" Bree whispered.

"She asks if you all are alright but other then that she knows you are off limits." Bella said.

"Would it be ok if I stayed and talked to her?" she asked.

"She would love that! I know she misses you but she also knows she hurt you. She would love to hear from you." I said.

Bella grabbed that computer and got Mom on the screen.

"Hey. You're early! I thought you would have company until later." Mom said.

"Grandma Tori!" Ali said rushing to the computer. My sister sat with tears in her eyes listening to my daughters and my mom visit. Finally the girls had gone to play and Mom had gushed over how big Garrett had gotten then mom said.

"Is Bree and Rylie still doing well?" She asked.

Bree nodded and I said, 'Yeah they're doing ok. Mom, actually Bree is here and would like to see you."

"Really? I prayed this day would come!" She whispered as Bree came to sit in front of the screen.

"Hi Bree." Mom whispered.

"Hi." Bree said softly.

"How are you and Rylie doing?" Mom ask.

"We're doing well. Actually, I would like you to meet someone. We adopted a baby boy." She took a sleeping Raylen from Rylie and held him so that mom could see him.

"He's beautiful, Bree. What a sweet little face!" Mom said softly as tears slid down her cheeks. "I am so sorry for the way I have treated you in the past. I'll make no excuses. I am getting the help I should have then. I can never make up for what's been done and I don't expect forgiveness."

"Mom, I would like to try and have a relationship with you. I know that Bella and Jaz have had a relationship with you for a while now and you have respected me enough to stay away." My sister said.

"Thank you Bree. I have missed you!" mom said.

"I have missed you too. These few months with Raylen I found myself wishing you were with me. He was very sick for a while." Bree said.

"I'm glad he's better and I will be here any time you need me." Mom said, "What was wrong with him?"

"He has epilepsy. The doctors have found the right medication to keep him from having really bad seizures but until they did it was terrible." Bree confided, "I would like for you to meet him."

"I'd like that too." Mom said.

"Rylie could take some time off and you all could come to visit Mom when Bella and I do." I said earning a glare from Rylie.

Bree looked to Rylie and he relented. Bree and Bella started updating our plans with mom. Rylie walked out on the porch.

"Jaz, I was hoping she would get over this. I really was enjoying a non-Victoria zone. I know she's your mom but I have had enough crazy to last me a life time!" Rylie said.

"We were reluctant to give her a chance, too. She really does seem to have it together." I said trying to make this ok for him.

"I know she needs her mom." He sighed, "I just know the hurt and hell that she put Bree through. I don't want it to happen again."

"I understand that." I said.

Bree came out to Rylie and I went inside. Bella was sitting in the recliner rocking our nephew.

"Do you want to hold him?" She asked laying the little guy in my arms. I was terrified that I would hurt him.

"Bella, I can't! What if I drop him? Or cause a seizure? I don't want to hurt him!" I stammered cradling the small boy in a careful grip.

"Oh just sit down with him!" she demanded, "All evening long you shied away from him. He's a baby not a bubble! If he has a seizure you just lay him either in your lap or on the couch and just make sure he doesn't fall.

I looked down into Raylen's eyes and he grinned. I found myself grinning back. Soon I found myself playing with Raylen like I do with Garrett. I was so wrapped up in playing with my nephew that I didn't notice his parents in the doorway until Bree started teasing me. I handed Raylen over and waved them off.

The girls stayed up giggling half the night and Garrett partied the other half. I was so tired I was asleep on my feet. It was a relief when the guests left and Garrett and the girls took a nap. Bella and I joined them.

A/N: I just wanted to say that I am so grateful to all of my readers!


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: I know some of you will probably be upset with me because you have fallen in love with the characters. Before you form an angry mob finish the chapter. I had toyed with this idea for this story from the beginning and almost dropped it but I decided to keep it. I hope I am making the right choice here. There are more twists and turns to go but I promise if you hang with me everyone will be in the story and there are a few surprises about certain characters. **

Bella's POV

Bree, Maria, Rosalie, Esme, Stephanie and I waved good-bye the kids as the daddies, Dad, and Pops took them to go on an over night camping trip. Then we went to dinner. I was exhausted by the time I got home and was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. I started hearing a strange beeping sound and I felt a dizzying swirl the room was spinning.

I was in a fog but I felt it lifting and fought to compose my thoughts. I felt someone holding my hand. I struggled to sort out what was real. I fought to open my eyes but it there was so much pain. I felt my hand being released and then I felt someone moving me around. I gritted my teeth and groaned. My breath came as ragged gasps. I didn't settle down until I heard Jaz's voice.

"Is she in pain?" He asked anxiously. He sounded so tired.

"I'm sure her head hurts but we can't give her anything else." A woman's voice snipped back. I instantly disliked her. Why was she being so hateful to Jaz?

"Jaz!" I whimpered. I was surprised at how weak my voice was. Instantly I felt Jaz take my hand. I was so confused. I still heard that annoying beep…beep…beep. I struggled to wake up. The more I fought the worse my head hurt.

"I'm here Bells! Shh, Darlin'! I'm right here!" he said and then I was gently cradled to him so that my head was lying on his chest and then he began singing the lullaby that he had always sang to me when we were kids. I relaxed and enjoyed his presents everything else faded away.

The woman I'm guessing the nurse sounded shocked, "I never would have thought. That's what she did in the imaging lab when they had to sedate her. Only it escalated to her ripping her IV out and trying to sit up. You must be the Jaz she was trying to find."

"Yeah, I'm her Jaz!" He said. He sang to me until I drifted off. I don't know how long I slept but a familiar voice, a women sobbing, awakened me.

She said, "I just don't believe it. Edward loves her he wouldn't hurt her on purpose. You have to know that Jaz! Don't be angry with…"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence." Jaz growled glaring at her.

A man said, "She's had a rough night. Edward called his father. She had to deal with Aro and he's causing problems. Charlie came in and charged Edward with assault and battery and told Edward if she died he would go down for murder. Esme is so worried about her."

My mind raced. Did Edward try to kill me? Think Bella! I thought to myself. Things were fuzzy and warped. There was a strange memory of Edward fighting with Jaz but that had happened years ago, hadn't it? I remembered Jaz and I finally admitting our feelings and then Edward. Oh…I remember. Edward was going to attack Jaz. I got in the way. Was it all a dream? No! No! No! I screamed internally. I loved the life I had. Things were coming back to me. I realized that it had been a dream. The only part that pleased me was that Raylen really hadn't suffered.

"How is she?" the woman asked. It was Esme. I was happy that I recognized her. I was pulled from my private celebration but Jaz's gruff almost hostile voice.

"Don't worry! Edward will escape the murder wrap." He snapped. I was shocked at the pure disdain in his voice. This was his mother he was speaking to.

"That's not what she was meaning." The man's voice said. That sounded like Carlisle. So he hadn't really drugged Esme or attacked Bree? My head hurt from trying to keep everything straight.

"It seems to me that your priorities are a little screwed up. You spent all this time with _him_ and _he _is the one who caused this while she has been lying here all this time. You even let him sit at her bed side." Jaz hissed. There was a knock at the door and another male voice asked, "How's she doing?" The voice made my skin crawl.

"Get out!" Jaz hissed.

"My son asked me to check on her!" the voice insisted. I heard a commotion and then the door closed. I could hear Esme sobbing again to my left and I was distressed because I could sense that Jaz wasn't in the room anymore.

"Oh, Bella! I'm so sorry I haven't been here for you." Esme said taking my hand, "I love you like my own. I am so upset with Edward for what he has done. I love you both. You have so many people here for you and I know they all think that I don't care because I try to be there for both of you. I hate this! I wish you were awake so I could talk to you." She said softly, "I love you so much!" the door opened and Jaz came back in.

"It's best to keep things quiet, now! I told Charlie I would stay. You should probably go." he said angrily.

"Son, I…" Esme started.

"Mom! I can't do this right now! I need to hold it together and stay calm for her and I am a hairs breath from losing my cool with you right now. I'm not trying to be mean. I just feel like the only reason you are here is to gather information that will help Edward. Maybe I'm wrong but right now it's hard to be rational. I am pissed! I want to rip Edward apart! I am mad at myself for thinking of him as my little brother and not just beating the living shit out of him when he came at me at the farm. Bella wouldn't be lying there covered in bruises! You tell that piece of shit to stay off my land and away from Bella and me. Next time, I WILL put his sorry ass on the ground! I need you all to go, so I don't do anything else that I will regret later." Jaz said. After everyone had gone I felt him lay his head on our joined hands and soon I could tell that he had fallen asleep. At some point I grew restless and Jaz began singing to me again still holding my hand. I fought against the haze and the moment I broke through I called out weakly, "Jaz?"

"I'm here, Bells!" he said from the side of the bed.

"Good!" I said tugging at his shirt. I needed to feel him close to me. He lay down beside me and I snuggled into his side laying my head on his chest, "Jaz, I can't open my eyes! What happened?" I trilled slightly panicked.

"They are swollen shut, Darlin'. What do you remember?" he asked softly.

"Who else is in here?" I asked.

"Just you and me." he assured me.

"I think I remember you telling me that you loved me." I smiled at his um-hum and kissed his chest, "Was Edward at the door? I think he was angry. Ugh! Everything is so jumbled. Did he try to hit you?" I asked not wanting to get anything wrong, "What happened, Jaz?"

"You and I had just discussed our feelings and then you were sitting on my lap. Edward came over and saw us through the door. He was livid. As I opened the door I saw him throwing a punch. I didn't realize you were behind me. I stepped out of Edward's range. Bella, if I had known you were behind me I would have taken that punch but I didn't so instead of hitting me, he hit you. You fell back and hit your head so hard on the marble table by the door then your face hit the floor. Bells, I'm so sorry!" his voice trembled and I took his hand hoping to comfort him.

"Edward did this," I told him firmly, "Not you! Is it bad?"

"You had swelling in your brain, your face is badly bruised, your nose is broken, your eyes are swollen shut and purple, your bottom lip is busted. I'm so relieved that you are ok!" He said softly touching my face, "I need to let someone know you're awake."

"Just give me one more minute alone with you." I said rising up in an attempt to kiss him. I gingerly brushed my lips across his. Then a few seconds later I heard the door open and someone ask, "Did you need something?"

"I was just letting you know that Bella is awake." Jaz said.

"I'll get Dr. Call!" She said.

Jaz grabbed his phone and called Dad, Harry, and Emmett and Rose. Dad said he was on his way and Emmett said he and Rosalie would come in the morning to give me a chance to rest.

I asked, "Kiss me?" and he responded by kissing me gently. I deepened the kiss and I lost myself. It wasn't until dad came in and chuckled that I pulled back.

"Well it's about time!" dad said. Jaz started to untangle from me and dad stopped him simply saying, "She looks comfortable don't make her move." I could hear the smile in his voice as he kissed his my forehead. Jaz curled around me and held me close and I snuggled into him and listened as he filled Dad in on Aro then told him how he was less then forth coming with information with his parents.

I listened sadly until he was finished then said softly, "Can we not talk about all of that now?"

"Of coarse Sweetheart!" Dad said.

The doctor came in and greeted my dad and Jaz and then me.

"Bella, I am Dr. Embry Call. What is the last thing you remember?" He said.

"Not alot. Jaz filled me in but I had this strange dream before I woke up and my mind is struggling to sort out the dream from Reality. That dream was so real." I told him.

"She remembered Edward coming over and vaguely remembers him trying to hit me but that was it." Jaz supplied.

"How does your head feel?" Dr. Call asked.

"I have a headache but I have had worse headaches before. Can I please sit up now? My back is getting stiff!" I asked.

Dr. Call responded by repositioning the bed so I was sitting, "Is that better?" he asked.

"Much better, Thank you!" I asked.

"I will order another CT scan and then we'll see where we go from here." Dr. Call said, "Someone will be in to take you shortly. After the scan I will have them bring you a clear liquid tray. You may have small sips of water until then."

The nurse finally come in with the wheelchair and took me to have the CT scan. I lay there thinking about the dream I had and missed everyone in it. I ached to hold my children and to chat with Bree. It was almost devastating to wake up and find that none of it was real.

When I got back to the room Dad and Jaz were waiting. I was impatient as I shifted back on to the bed and as soon as he was close enough I pulled Jaz into the bed with me. He settled us back onto the bed and I snuggled into his chest. We visited until my clear liquid supper came. Jaz read off the contents of the tray none of which sounded appetizing. There was chicken broth, sprite, water, and some cran-apple juice.

I took a sip of the tepid chicken broth and my stomach churned, "Oh that's nasty!" I groaned. I took a couple drinks of the cran-apple juice and at the insistence of Jaz and Dad I choked down half of the broth and a couple sips of the sprite.

Dr. Call was not surprised but wasn't exactly pleased that I didn't eat much, "Bella, you need more of your meal."

"I tried but the broth was cold and greasy. If it had been even warm I might have been able to stomach it. The first sip I took almost made me sick." I said.

"Anything hot right now would hurt your mouth." Dr. Call said, "There are stitches of the inside of your mouth."

"When will the swelling around my eyes go down? I need to see again!" I told him.

"Since this is the 3rd day you should start noticing a difference." He said.

"3 days? I have been out 3 days?" I yelped.

"Easy Darlin'." Jaz soothed, "You have been out for 3 days. Just relax, it all right."

"Your CT scan looked alittle better. Tomorrow if the swelling is down we will get you up and in a chair." Dr. Call said.

"Can you remove the catheter?" I asked hopefully.

"Let's wait until tomorrow and see how tomorrow goes." He said.

How long will I be here? I asked praying that he would say not long. I just wanted to go home.

"I want to wait until all of the swelling is gone before I turn you loose." He said chuckling as I huffed, "I know that's not what you wanted to hear."

"It will be ok though. You need to rest and heal." Jaz said kissing my temple.

"I'll be back tomorrow about mid-morning to check on you." Said Dr. Call.

"Ugh!" I groaned.

"It's ok! Everything is being taken care of Bells." Dad said.

I know but you and Jaz need rest and I know you aren't going to get that here. You should go home and rest. I'll be ok tonight." I said.

"You're not chasin' either of us off." Jaz said softly.

"But you're tired, Jaz" I said.

"I'm better now! You are ok." he insisted but I could hear the exhaustion in his voice.

I smiled at him, "Did you rest at all?"

"Would you have been able to rest if it was me?" he asked and tears filled my eyes I remembered dream Jasper almost dying.

"Hey, Darlin I'm not going anywhere." My tears streaked my face as I thought of my dream family. He pulled me into a hug and said, "What is it Bella?"

"While I was out I dreamed of our lives." I blubbered as he held me, "You had a wreck and almost died. It was the worst part of the dream. I sat with you for days. It was so awful. It was so real!"

"I'm right here. I'm ok! It must have been a horrible dream." He said.

"Not all of it." I said starting to calm down, "We had kids and we found Bree. We were so happy." I said sadly.

"Bella, you and Jaz can build that life now." Dad said softly.

"We will build all of the good parts of that life, Darlin'! I promise you that!" Jaz whispered.

"It seems like the two of you have alot to discuss. I'm going to give you two some time alone. I'll see ya in the morning Bells." Dad said kissing my forehead before he left.

Jaz listened while I told him the complete story and once I had finished he sat in wonder.

He told me, "I hired Mike Newton to find Bree a month before I came home. He Found her! She is married to a man named Rylie and they have a little boy named Raylen but he is healthy. He also found my mom."

" Did you tell me that before the accident?" I asked him puzzled as to how I had gotten those three names right.

"No, I hadn't told anyone. But I did meet with Mike here while you were sleeping." he said softly.

"I must have incorporated the names in to the dream." I said, "Are you meeting them?"

"Yeah, I have set up a meeting. I already know Rylie. He's in my study group. He thought I was a hipster with the nickname of Jaz." he chuckled, " He's a good guy. He talked about his wife and his 6-month-old son a lot. Bree is a stay at home mom. I have been near them all this time."

"When is your meeting?" I prompted.

"Well, after everything I called and explained the situation to Bree and she understood and said we could meet later." he said.

"Jasper Whitlock! You call her back and go see your sister!" I said sharply.

He chuckled, "Easy there bossy! She is meeting me here. She's excited to see you again too."

"When is she coming?" I asked excited about seeing my friend again.

"They will be here in three days. I told them that they could stay with us for the week." he said.

"That sounds good." I said. After that we quieted down and tried to rest. I could tell Jaz was asleep when his breathing began to be deeper. I followed shortly.

There was a soft knock and then Rose and Emmett came in. I smiled as I heard their voices.

"How is she feeling?" Emmett asked sounding so small and scared.

"I'm Ok Em." I said looking toward the sound. I was able to open my eyes alittle to see them. He was there almost instantly.

"I was so worried about you! I'm so glad you are ok. Love you Bells" He said hugging my gently.

"I love you too Em!" I said hugging him back.

Rose and Emmett told us that Esme and Carlisle picked up Alice and Esme tried to plead Edward's case to them. Rose seemed really sad when Emmett was talking about Edward. I remember how close they were. While I was visiting with Emmett she and Edward would talk. I felt for her. She was being loyal to me at the expense of herself.

"I would like to talk to Rose alone for awhile." I said.

"Alright." Jaz said kissing my cheek, "Emmett and I will go to the café down stairs."

I waited until they were gone and then said, "How are things really? I know things are crazy but I can't ask just anyone. Rose, what's going on with Edward? I know he screwed up big time but I still care about what happens to him."

"You want to know about Edward?" She asked softly.

"Yes. I do. I can't ask Jaz, Dad, or Emmett for obvious reasons but I can tell you still care too. Can you call Esme for me? I just need to know!" I said gently. I heard her pushing buttons on her phone and then handed it too me. I put it on speaker.

"Hello? Rose? How's Bella?" Esme's worried voice trilled.

"I'm ok, Esme!" I answered.

"Oh thank God! Bella, I have been so worried about you. Sorry I haven't been around much. I know what he did was awful but he has no one in his corner…" She sniffed.

"Esme! It's ok! I understand that! No matter what he's done he will always be your child. He does need someone there for him! How is he?" I asked.

"He's worried about you. He feels terrible about all of this. He took a plea deal. He will serve 3 months in jail, is paying your medical bills, and he is taking Anger Management classes." She told me.

"A plea deal? I though I would have to testify." I said.

"Jaz had a chat with Edward. Edward took the plea because he couldn't stand the thought of you having to testify." She said sadly.

"Will you tell him Thank you for me? I am glad to have that creepy lawyer out of here. I am angry with Edward but I don't hate him. I know this wasn't directed at me." I said.

"Thank you, Bella!" She said quietly.

"Hey, I better go or I will have Rose in trouble. I just needed to know! Bye Esme." I said.

"Bye, Sweetheart!" She said and then hung up the phone.

"Thanks Rose." I said.

"Your welcome Bells. I was wondering about him too. I haven't called to check on him because of what he did to you." She said.

"Rose, you could have checked on him. It doesn't mean that you care less for me! There are no sides to be taken just an awful situation for all involved." I told her.

"It would upset Emmett if I did." She said softly.

"What would I be upset about" Emmett boomed as he and Jaz came through the door.

"I asked her to check on Edward for me. I want to know what they are going to do. I need him to know that I am angry with him but I don't hate him. Since I can't visit him right now so I asked Rose to go for me." I said.

"Like hell she will!" Emmett growled, "Whatever Edward gets is won't be enough! You should hate him, Bella!"

"I don't! I am mad at him but I shared a big portion of my life with him." I seethed, "I know that Edward didn't mean to hurt me."

"Bella," Emmett growled angrily.

"Whoa!" Jaz said in a tightly controlled voice. I knew that I had upset him and he was fighting to keep his voice low and even. "Lets take it down a notch. Bella, Edward can have phone calls you can call him this afternoon if you want. Emmett there is a time and place for this discussion but it's not here. Lets all cool it and change the subject."

I took his hand and he took his place beside me. Emmett and Rose sat beside the bed. The guys were quiet for the rest of the visit. Rose and I chatted for about a half an hour and then they left. I could still hear Jaz's heart pounding he was still angry. I marveled at the fact that I had made him this angry and yet he was still holding me and stroking my hair.

"You're upset with me." I said.

"I'm just trying to accept the fact that after everything you still love him." He whispered sadly.

"It's not love anymore but I will always care what happens to him. Jaz, you understand that I have no desire to be with him, right?" I asked softly.

"Don't you?" He whispered again.

"No. The only one I want to be with is you." I said kissing his chest, "I love you, Jaz. I always have."

"I love you too." He said softly.

**We lay there holding each other until the nurse brought in a breakfast tray. We thanked her and Jaz started moving stuff around.**

**"It looks like you have some coffee, orange juice, apple juice, and some jello." He said.**

**"Coffee." I said nothing else sounded good. **

**"I fixed it up for you but it's not even really warm." He said putting the cup in my hand.**

**I groaned at the feel of the cold cup in my hand, " Never mind." I sighed.**

**"Let me go get you a warm cup." Jaz said. I smiled and watched him go. **

**I tried some of the orange jello and realized how hungry I was. I ate it all in spite of the fact that the jello was rubbery. I was drinking the apple juice when Jaz came in. He was pleased to see me eating. He mixed the coffee together and when it was warm he handed it to me. I thanked him and then drank the coffee. **

**"Thank you!" I said.**

**"For what?" He asked.**

**"For being here!" I said.**

**"Where else is there but with you?" he grinned.**

**"Home." I said.**

**"Home is where ever you are." He said.**

**"You mean that?" I asked.**

**"Yes! I was going to wait but it seems this conversation is headed that direction anyway. Bella, when I go back to school I want you to come with me. You can write and do your online classes anywhere. This whole experience has shown me that I don't want to spend even one day without you." He said.**

**"Jaz, I… What about the farm? And I watch Ali for your mom. I can't just… Can I? What about my chickens?" I asked.**

**"Darlin' we'll come back to the farm one day. Mom can find someone to watch Ali. I will pay Harry to feed them when he feeds his horses. Please come back with me." He pleaded.**

**I didn't have an agreement, "I'm not opposed to the idea. We just need to think it through and figure out how to make it work." I said.**

**"Is that a yes?" Jaz grinned.**

**"Yes. I will go with you. As long as we have everything taken care of!" I said.**

**"You're going to love the little house. It has good-sized front porch with a porch swing. It is right across from the park where I run every morning." He said. "It only has 1 bedroom though. Will that be a problem?" **

**"No. You can sleep on the couch." I teased.**

**"Hardly! I want to sleep with you wrapped in my arms every night for the rest of my life!" he said softly as my dad walked in the door.**

**"Sorry, I'll just be out here!" He called heading back out.**

**"Dad! Come in!" I called.**

**"Are you sure?" He asked looking to Jaz.**

**"Yeah! We were just discussing her coming with me when I went back to school." Jaz said.**

**"Oh!" He said taking a seat by my bed, "Are you going, Bells?" **

**"I'm thinking about it." I said.**

**"You should. You two have always been better together. I will take care of the animals. You go with him." Dad said.**

**"Thanks, Charlie!" Jaz said. **

**Dr. Call came in and was pleased that I could see and had eaten. He ordered the catheter and the heart monitor to be removed and for me to be up in a chair. He also said that I could have soft foods now. I was pleased with the prospect. The Nurse came in to remove the tubes and wires sending Dad and Jaz into the hall.**

**"I'm Charlotte." She said kindly as she removed everything we talked, "Your poor guy was so worried about you. I'm glad you are ok. He had the same nightmare every night while you were unconscious. It was so sad." **

**"He had nightmares?" I said softly. **

**"He did. I felt so bad for him." She said as she finished.**

**"What were the nightmares about?" I asked.**

**"I don't know it he would want me to tell you." She said.**

**"You can't just tell me part of the story and then just stop." I said.**

**"I'll tell you, Bella." Jaz said walking back in and sitting on the edge on my bed.**

**"I'll give you some time." Charlotte said.**

**"**_You and I were walking hand in hand in the south pasture visiting light heartedly. Then all of a sudden we are in a church. We walked a long hallway. It was nice with soft bright lights; it was pleasant we were happy and peaceful. We could feel the presents of God Almighty himself. I knew we must have died and this was the way to heaven but I was ok with that. I was peaceful and serene, the feeling that can only come from God. We got to a lobby of some sort and we walked to a door but it wouldn't open for me. God told me that this door wasn't for me yet. I looked around but could see no one. You however opened the door with ease and cheerfully walked through after telling me goodbye. It was then I realized I had walked you to heaven's door. I sunk my knees and wept, rocking trying to comfort myself. I was devastated. I noticed impressions in the carpet of huge hands and knees crawling toward me. At first I shy away from them and cry out to God to help me. The prints keep moving toward me. I finally realized the prints are Gods coming to comfort me." Jaz finished trembling. I pulled him to me. That awful dream was in my dream. I guess I had incorporated things I had heard into my dream life._

_"Jaz, I'm here!" I comforted feeling sick knowing that he had needed me and I couldn't help him. After a while Dad came back in and smiled a sad smile._

_"We were here for him Bells!" dad said. He was so good at reading my expressions. _

_"Thank you." I said as hugged Jaz. _

_When Charlotte came back I ask about a shower. Thankfully she had time to help me. I was a bit wobbly and Jaz insisted no helping get me to the bathroom. Once I was there and seated on the shower chair Charlotte helped my undress and turned on the water. I reveled in the warmth of the water. I scrubbed clean and then I turned off the water to signal that I was finished. I wrapped myself in a bath sheet and Charlotte helper me to dry off. Then Jaz's hand popped through the door holding my favorite PJ's. After I was dressed and seated in the chair I noticed my pillow and blanket on the bed. I looked to Jaz and smiled. _

_"Thank you!" I said._

_He leaned down and kissed me, "Your welcome." _

_The rest of the afternoon we relaxed and rested. Jaz helped me back to bed after I got to tired to sit up any more. I took a pretty good nap and rolled over to see Jaz and Esme sitting beside me. _

_"You weren't exactly honest before." Jaz said softly. _

_"I'm sorry! It's just that, I knew you wouldn't understand and I didn't want Emmett mad at Rose so, I fibbed." I apologized._

_"Its ok Darlin'. I understand now." He said taking my hand._

_"Esme, you're here." I smiled._

_"I'm glad that you're ok." She said._

_"Are you two ok now?" I asked Jaz pointedly._

_"Yes, we're good." He said, "Mom is stuck in the middle." _

_"That's a rough situation to be in. I'm glad you get that!" I said to Jaz._

_"I gave Edward your message. I also warned him that you and Jaz were happy and he needed to leave you alone." She said, "He's not happy about it but he will leave you two alone." _

_"Thank you Esme!" I said._

_"I hear you might be going with Jaz." She grinned, "You two deserve to be happy."_

_"What will you do with Ali?" I asked, "I'll miss watching her."_

_"Well, most of my clients are in your area and I was having you keep her over night alot. Would you keep her Sunday afternoon through Wednesday evening? I am cutting back to three days a week." She asked._

_I smiled, "I would love that." _

_"Great!" She said. _

_"I'm going to run to the house to shower and change. Moms going to stay with you until I get back. Do you want me to bring you any thing back?" _

_"Yeah, my laptop. I need to finish my last classes and email my publisher." I told him._

_"I love you." Jaz said kissing me._

_"I love you too." I said._

_After he was gone Esme smiled, "You two are so cute together." _

_"Thanks Esme." I said._

_"I want you two know that I am here for you. Jaz is my son too. Although I am sorry for Edward's pain but I am glad for your happiness." She said, "So when are you going to be moving?" _

_"I'm not sure. We haven't really got that far yet. I just agreed to move." I said._

_"I can help you all pack if you want." She offered._

_"Thanks! Jaz told me that the apartment is already pretty much furnished. He still has his things there. He still has it leased. The only thing I will need is my clothes and dresser. I am going to leave my clothes in the drawers and lay my hang up clothes in the back seat. I should only have a couple boxes." I said._

_"Just let me know what you need." She said. Her phone rang and she accepted a collect call and I knew it was Edward._

_"Hi Sweetie!...Yes, I am going to come see you today." She said._

_"Can I talk to him?" I asked softly._

_Esme smiled and said, "Edward, I'm here with Bella and she asked to speak with you…Ok, here she is." She handed me the phone and I was momentarily nervous._

_"Hi Edward." I said._

_"Hello Bella. Thank God your ok!" He said, "Bella, I am so sorry! I'll find a way to make this up to you! I promise I would never hurt you on propose." _

_"Don't!" I said, "I know you didn't mean to hurt me. Jaz was the intended target! Look I just needed you to know that I am ok and that I don't hate you. I am still angry with you though. I have to go now here is your mom." I said handing the phone back to Esme. _

_She briefly visited a couple more minutes and then rushed him off the phone. _

_"He needed to hear that." Esme said._

_"I know." I said. "I realize that Edward screwed up bad but I also know about the demons from his past. His father hurt him deeply and created the insecurities." _

_"I know! Aro was hard on him. Edward had to earn his love. That's why everything was always a competition with him. He views everything as a competition." She said sadly._

_"I think that's what I was to him at first. Just a prize to be won away from Jaz. I know he loves me now but in the beginning I think it was just about besting his brother." I said sadly._

_"As bad as I hate to admit it you're probably right." She said._

_"I wish I would have saw that back then. Jaz has always been my first choice and I think Edward always knew that." I said._

_"Your probably right." She answered. _

_"I never should have agreed to be with him in the first place." I said softly._

_"What?" Jaz worried as he came in._

_"Not you!" I said, "Your momma and I were discussing the past. I was telling her that I should have never been with Edward in the first place." _

_"Oh." He said coming over and sitting in my bed with me. He handed me a Marshmallow latte and sat me computer in me lap as I settled into his arms. Esme left to visit Edward and we were left alone. _

_"Did you really think I was regretting being with you?" I asked._

_"I was afraid of that, yes. I knew that Edward was going to call mom and that would you want to talk to him. I was terrified you would change your mind but I knew it was something you needed to do!" He said._

_"I love you and I regret wasting so much time being without you." I said._

_"You know I was going to ask you out that day! But Edward beat me to it.!" Jaz whispered, "I was so mad at myself!" _

_"You don't have to be anymore! We are together and no one will ever break us apart." I said fiercely._

_"That's great to hear!" he said, "I ran into your dad…well…more like... Never mind! He said Good Morning!" _

_"Uh-oh! He hunted you down and gave you the if-you-hurt-my daughter-there-will-be-hell-to-pay talk." I asked seeing the look on his face, "Sorry." _

_"No actually I hunted him down I needed to run something by him." He said._

_"You're up to something!" I said suspiciously. _

_"Me? Never!" He smirked._

_"You're seriously not going to tell me?" I said._

_"Bella, I love you but there are something's you are just going to have to wait and see about." He grinned._

_"Can you give me a hint?" I begged._

_"You'll like it." He smiled._

_"That tells me a lot!" I giggled._

_"Now lets change the subject before you trip me up!" Jaz said._

_"Fine." I groaned, "When are we moving?"_

_"I don't have to be back until the third week in August for classes but I would like to be out of here before Edward gets out of jail so I was thinking the last week on July." Jaz said._

_"So we are running?" I asked slightly annoyed._

_"No, I just want a little distance between him and us." He said then sighed, "Yes, I want to run away with you." _

_"Jaz, Why don't we leave the week before you have classes and that will give us more time to spend with everyone." I suggested. _

_"I know your right but I just don't want him anywhere near you!" He huffed._

_"Are you afraid of him hurting me or that I will go back to him?" I asked._

_"Both." He said sadly._

_"Jaz." I sighed, "I want you! He isn't going to hurt me."_

_"I know he won't hurt you it's just…I don't trust him." He said._

_"Do you trust me?" I asked._

_"You know I do." He said._

_We lapsed into silence. I finished my class load and he dozed beside me. When I was finished with my classes I checked my email. I had an email from my publisher. I typed a letter to Kate and explained that I would be working on my writing full time. I finished the Bully Book for the younger kids and decided I had enough material and in site for an older kid book as well. I told her that I had quiet a few stories that I would like to submit. I told her my situation and the vivid dream and the topics of stories that I had. Her reply was instantaneous. She was concerned for my health and excited to hear about the book. I started outlining my books as quickly as I could to the tune of Jaz's snoring. After I got the outlines finished I started working on a small children's book. Three books later dad knocked on the door._

_"Wow, Bells! Did you bore him to death?" he joked._

_"What? Oh, I'm sorry. I fell asleep." Jaz said._

_"I have got so much done. I finished my classes and have finished three books that I will send to the publisher today and I have a couple more books outlined." I said._

_"You wrote three books in one afternoon?" Dad asked._

_"Not exactly! When I was out I dreamed of a life I would have had. These books were ones I had written in my dream. I know them by heart!" I said._

_"Hum. That's good. Hey Jaz? I need to see you in the hall!" Dad said._

_I watched as the two of them exited the room. I waited impatiently for their return. I was slightly irritated. Everyone who knew me well knew that I hated surprises. They drove me crazy! I was not pleased with the two men conspiring in the hallway. When they came back in they took their seats and acted as if nothing had happened. _

_I started working on my computer again ignoring them. I didn't have time for the stupid games that were being played. I half listened to the conversation between my father and Jaz. I typed out a rough draft of my children's bully book and started editing. They knew I was pissed and it seemed to amuse them. Dad finally started talking directly to me and I stopped to visit. _

_Dr. Call came in and checked me over. He was pleased with my progress and was talking about releasing me. I was overjoyed. When all was said and done I was going to be released tomorrow. At the end of visiting hours everyone in the family had been to visit. Emmett and Rose were happy that I was being released and said that they would help get everything settled before they headed back home. Jaz loaded the truck while I was in the shower so in the morning we could just go. _

_I woke up at about 7 the nest day. I was so excited to go home I couldn't stand it. After breakfast the nurse came in and took out my IV. I smiled at the memory of the dream when Emmett passed out. Then I was dressed and on my way._

_At home Emmett insisted that I lie down and rest. I sat curled up on the couch snuggled into my cousin. He was still terrified of hurting me. We sat there awkwardly. I knew that there was something he wanted to say so I asked him._

_"What is it?" I asked._

_"I was just thinking. I don't like the idea of you being here alone!" he said._

_"I'm not alone. Jaz is here." I mean when he goes back." He said._

_"You haven't heard. I am going with Jaz." I said._

_"You mean like living with him?" Emmett yelped._

_"Yes! Jaz and I are together now. I will living with him." I said._

_"Isn't it too soon." Emmett fired back bordering hysteria. _

_Jaz shot into the room and said, "Em, I want to talk to you outside, now!" _

_Rose sat beside me and waited until the guys left, "Are you sure about this? Have you really thought this through? If you are afraid of Edward you can come live with Em and I." _

_"Rose, I have thought about this. I have loved Jaz for as long as I can remember! He's my best friend and I have never been more sure of anything in my life!" I told her._

_"Ok." She said as we listened to Emmett shouting on the porch. I was irritated and marched out there. _

_"Emmett, I love you but I swear I'm gona kick your ass if you don't stop." I said poking his chest, "I love Jasper and always have. I am moving to be with him. I'm not rushing in to anything and I know what I am getting into. This is my decision! I chose this not because I am afraid to be alone but because it is what I want. Now Quiet your bitchin' and either be happy for me or shut up!" the porch had fallen silent. _

_Jaz came to stand behind me wrapping his arms around me and scooping me up it was then that I realized that I was swaying and had just about fallen. I laid my head on his chest and tried to relax. I was so irritated that my breaths came in ragged gasps. I was starting to get dizzy. "Bells, your nose is bleeding." He gasp._

_"I'm ok! I think I just over did it." I groaned._

_"I'm sorry Bells!" Emmett said softly._

_"I know you mean well Em." I said._

_"Babe, we really need to go." Rose said. _

_"I know! Call if you need anything!" Emmett said._

_"We will! Emmett, I promise I will take care of her!" Jaz said._

_"I know you will! You always have!" he said softly. _

_After goodbyes where said and our guests where gone Jaz carried me up to bed. I snuggled into his chest. When I woke up I was alone but the baby monitor was beside me. I chuckled as the mental picture of Jaz carrying the monitor around. I sat up in bed and before I was fully seated on the bed Jaz was coming through the door. _

_"Do you feel like having visitors? Mom and Dad came over. Mom cooked so we wouldn't have to and they brought Ali." He said softly._

_"Yeah!" I said as I got up and walked to the bathroom. I ran a brush through my hair and covered the bruises once I was satisfied that I looked halfway descent I took Jaz's hand as we walked down the stairs._

_Carlisle and Esme were in the livingroom and the house smelled delightful! Esme was cooking. Ali toddled over and raised her arms, "UP!" she said._

_I scooped the tiny little angel into my arms and sat beside Jaz in the oversized recliner. Ali curled up and lay across Jaz and I. _

_"She's missed you, terribly!" Esme said softly. _

_"I missed her too." I said tucking a stray hair behind her ear, "When can I start watching her again?" _

_"Bella, maybe we should wait a little while. My assistant is handling things for the rest of the week. If you are feeling up to it I will go back on Monday." Esme said._

_"That will be fine." I smiled._

_"Dad, I want you to come over Friday evening for dinner! I hired an investigator to see if he could find any new leads. I gave him everything your guys had found over the years and he took off from there…" Jaz started._

_"I wish we could find her." Carlisle said sadly his pain almost tangible; "I left you with Charlie a lot to search for her. I regret the time I lost with you. I justified it by telling myself that one day I would find her and Bree would rejoin our family."_

_"Dad, I found her!" Jas smiled._

_"You. Found. Her? Where? Is she happy? Did she have a happy childhood?" Carlisle started rapid fire with his questions. I had a new understanding of why Carlisle was always gone when we were kids._

_"Dad," Jaz chuckled, "She is very happy. She is married and they have a son. Her husband and I have been in classes together all this time. They are coming to stay the weekend with us. Bree's a little nervous she hasn't told her mom." _

_"Jaz, you have to be curious about your momma." Esme said._

_"I know my momma just fine! I may not have met her until she started dating my dad but my momma is the most compassionate lady I know! Bree's mother is not my mother!" Jaz said._

_"You know it won't hurt my feelings a bit if you change your mind." She said to Jaz._

_"I have no desire to meet the woman who took my sister and ran out on me." Jaz said, "I have spoken to Bree on the phone. She missed us as much as we missed her. She said that her mother told her that would drag them down and they would be stuck in this small town forever. I guess they made the pageant circuit under new names. Bree went back to her real name when she turned 18." Jaz informed us._

_"Does she know we will be here?" Carlisle asked, "I don't want to surprise her."_

_"Yes! I have discussed this with her. She wants to see you too." Jaz said. _

_Carlisle smiled and tears welled in his eyes, "I'm gona see my oldest baby girl again." _

_I smiled and was glad that to see them happy. I was looking forward to the happy reunion that was bound to happen. I knew it wouldn't be all roses and sunshine but I was glad that they would all be together again soon. I was also glad that Carlisle wasn't the person from my dream. I had glossed over that part of my dream with Jaz not wanting to upset him._

_Dad showed up for dinner and I was worried that things would be tense. They where at first until Esme told dad that although it broke her heart she knew that he was doing his job. After that dinner was amazing and all to soon it was time for them to go home. _

_Thursday was spent snuggling on the couch with Jaz and we finished the Leprechaun movies and then Jaz ran acrossed a fast and the furious marathon. I decided my favorite one was 'Tokyo Drift'. We enjoyed the day just being lazy. After the movies I walked down with Jaz to feed the chickens and then we sat on the porch swing and watched the sunset. Jaz was a ball of energy after that. His little sister would be here by noon tomorrow. I was a little excited too. We were up and ready early and by 10:30 a.m. there was a silver Dodge Durango pulling up to the house. Jaz grinned and we headed out to greet our guests. I watched from the porch as Jas approached Bree and she flew at him. He caught her and she wrapped around him. _

_She was crying and hysterical, "I never thought I would see you again!" _

_"Dad and I have been looking for you since you were taken from us!" Jaz sobbed._

_I made my way over to her forgotten husband, "You must be Rylie! I'm Bella!" I introduced myself._

_"Hi. It's nice to meet you. Are you ok? I heard you were hurt pretty bad." He said giving me an appraising look._

_"Yes, I am much better now. It was kind of you to ask." I said, "I am so glad that Jaz found her! We have missed her for so long!" I smiled at the sleeping baby in his arms, "Here come sit on the porch." _

_We walked to the porch and he took a seat in the rocking chair. _

_"She's always wondered about Jasper and her father. Her mom made it sound like they didn't want her around." He said thoughtfully._

_"Jaz was devastated when Victoria took Bree. His father has never stopped looking. Jaz hired a new investigator and he was overjoyed that they found her. She was my best friend before she disappeared!" I said watching the reunion._

_"She told me about you. Tea Parties turned Pirate Raids." He chuckled._

_"Yes, I was quiet taken with Treasure Island and I might have been a bit of a Tom-Boy!" I said amused._

_"She was so happy when Jasper called. She is alittle nervous about seeing her father and his new wife." He mused._

_"Carlisle doesn't want her to be uncomfortable. Esme will understand if she would feel more comfortable with just Carlisle." I said._

_"She'll be ok. She's curious about her. When did they meet?" he said._

_"I'm not exactly sure. I know I was in middle school." I said._

_"And her son is the one who um… Well," He said._

_"Edward? Yes. It's a long story." I said._

_"He hit you?" Rylie asked._

_"It's complicated. He did hit me but he was aiming for Jaz." I said._

_"Bree said something about that but she was so angry that I couldn't understand exactly what she was telling me." He said, "I knew she was ready to hurt the bastard." _

_We lapsed into silence as Jaz and Bree came up the stairs. Bree hugged my and told me she had missed me, introduced us to their son Raylen and then we all sat on the porch. Bree told us about her life. She had traveled and lived a luxurious life traveling in the pageant circuit until she was 18 and refused to do it any more. She met Rylie and married him soon after they found that they were expecting. _

_We drove into town for lunch and ran into Dad and Carlisle at the dinner. There was a muted tearful reunion between them. She introduced Carlisle to Rylie and then let him hold is first grandson. Carlisle was ecstatic. Bree ask him about his life now. He told her about Esme and Ali and then She told him about her life. Everything was going fairly well. At the end of lunch she hugged my dad and announced to Rylie, "This is the fisherman that fished with gummy worms because I was horrified at the thought of the real worms on the hook. Jasper rolled his eyes when he dug a hole for all of the real worms to escape to." She giggled._

_"Best wasted $5 ever! That was fun. You kids ended up eating all of our bait so we put the poles up and chased butterflies." Dad said, "It's so good to see you again! I feared I never would."_

_Tears filled her eyes and she said, "It's good to see you too!" _

_After lunch we went home and everyone relaxed. Bree put Raylen down for a nap in the nursery and then she ask about Jaz's life after her mother had left with her. He tried to skim over the bad parts quickly and get to the good stuff. He told her about the fishing trips that our dad's had taken us on. He told her about the horseback rides, hiking trips, playing at the bluffs and then college. She laughed at a lot of it. Jaz showed her a few of his scetches that he had drawn while I was in the hospital. Bree marveled at the one of me on the rope at the bluffs._

_"Wow! Jaz these are really good!" She said._

_"I love this one!" he said, "Showing her the drawing of my mural." _

_"It's beautiful! I have saw this before." She said._

_"It was the mural on my wall when I was a kid. Jaz has just drawn me and my horse into it." I said smiling up at him._

_"And it looks like himself too." Rylie teased._

_I didn't intend too." Jaz said softly._

_"I'm glad you did!" I whispered to him. _

_"You two are sweet together!" Bree crooned._

_"That's just because it's still new honey! She hasn't started nagging him yet." Rylie teased getting rewarded with a punch to the arm from Bree._

_"Watch out Jaz! They get mean once you say I do! It's a bait and switch! They are all sweet and nice and then BAM! You get punched in the arm." Rylie chortled reminding me of Emmett._

_"You're so bad!" I giggled._

_We were still laughing when Carlisle and Esme arrived. Esme introduced herself and then we headed to the kitchen to let Bree visit with Carlisle and Jaz. We started supper and were surprised when Rylie walked into the kitchen._

_"Do you ladies need some help?" Rylie said._

_I handed him 4 bell peppers and an onion, "You could cut these into thin strips. We are having Fajitas." I said pointing him to the cutting board. Esme was cooking the beef and chicken._

_"Will do!" He grinned. _

_"So what do you do, Esme?" he asked._

_"I am an interior designer." She said, "I hear you are in law school?" _

_"Yeah! That's actually where I met Jaz! He's a good guy! I always enjoyed his family stories. He always spoke kindly about you all." Rylie said._

_"I was very blessed to find a son like him." Esme said softly._

_"Bree always hoed that Jaz had a new mother who would love him. She said that her mother was unkind to him." Rylie said, "I'm glad he has you. Bree wants to meet you. She is very nervous but she needs to know you were there for her brother." _

_"OK. I just didn't want to make her uncomfortable." Esme said._

_"Go meet her, Esme. We got this!" He smiled warmly adding the veggies to the meat and taking over the fajitas. _

_I watched as she smiled back, wiped her hands and left the kitchen leaving Rylie and I alone._

_"That was nice of you!" I said. _

_"They are both afraid of each other. I know that they just needed a little push." He grinned. I finished the guacamole and salsa so I started the fried rice. _

_"You know your way around a kitchen." I commented._

_"I helped mom cook a lot. She has always enjoyed cooking. I guess it kind of rubbed off." He said._

_"You seem to be a culinary genius, yourself!" He said._

_"I took over the cooking from dad when I was 12. I was tired of burn grilled cheese and fried fish." I chuckled, "I learned a lot of what I know from Paula Deene. I just use less butter!" He chuckled with me._

_We visited about life and the past. He told me a few things just between us about Victoria. Apparently she always felt bad about it but she just couldn't make herself love Jaz. That did explain a lot. By the time supper was done Rylie and I were giggling and cutting up like old friends. We put the food on the table and everyone came to eat. Ali planted herself on my lap and watched Bree with Raylen carefully. After supper Esme pulled out her Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie. We visited like the happy noisy family that we are. By the end on the evening Bree and Rylie were just as close to Carlisle and Esme as Jaz and I were. It was a great evening. _

_Bree and Rylie were taking Raylen to the Zoo with Carlisle, Esme, and Ali. Jaz and I opted to stay home. We cuddled on the couch most of the day. Rylie teased us unmercifully about out lounging around all day when he and Bree returned. The guys ran to get pizza and movies for supper leaving Bree and I alone._

_"I can tell he loves you too by all of the stories he tells of the two of you." She said._

_"I think I have always loved him." I said._

_"Then why would you marry someone else." She asked. _

_"I never realized his feelings for me. It wasn't until the beginning of this summer that he told me." I said._

_"Wow! I thought you two were together a lot longer that that!" Bree said._

_"I know this is moving quickly." I said._

_"Do you love him?" Bree asked. She was in protective sister mode and while it was irritating I was happy that she cared enough to make sure I wasn't going to hurt her brother._

_"With all that I am!" I said, "He is my best friend. The one I call first with good news or for support with bad news. I can't imagine my life without him in it." _

_"I'm glad!" she smiled._

_"I haven't got to visit with you much since I have been here. Rylie told me a few of the stories you shared with him last night. My poor brother had a rough time after we left huh?" I nodded, "I'm glad you were there for him." She smiled._

_"He wasn't the only one who missed you." I said._

_"I know! I missed you too." She said, "I am glad that the two to you had each other. So Jasper said you are taking online classed to be a school teacher."_

_"Yeah! I am. I was thinking kindergarten." I smiled._

_"That's neat. Hey, I have been dying to ask. I saw some books on a shelf in the nursery written by Isabella Swan. It that you?" She asked._

_"Yes. I started writing last year." I grinned, "I wrote the first one about Jaz and Ali. She has him firmly wrapped around her little finger."_

_"I think I read it. About a sad prince who lost his princess and had to wait years and years for another." She asked._

_"Yes! The story popped into my head one evening while I was watching him play with her. I typed the story on my phone and they emailed it to myself." I told her, "I was going to pay to have it printed just for them and then a lady from the publishing company fell in love with the story and so it was published. I kept getting requests to do a book about this subject or that so I started writing." _

_"That is wild! Mom had to fight to get her start as a writer. She has 4 novels out right now and is trying to get her 5th published." She said._

_"Victoria is a writer." I said._

_"Yeah! She got bored waiting at the pageants so she would write. She does alright selling her books." Bree said._

_"That's good." I said not really wanting to talk about Victoria. _

_"So Jasper actually bought this place?" She asked._

_"Yeah! He loves it out here." I said._

_"It seems to fit him." She said._

_"It does. The sunsets and sunrises out here are gorgeous. The sky at night is great too. I'm going to miss it when we leave." I said._

_"Your coming back with him." Bree said._

_"Yes. I can do my online classes, write my books and watch Ali there." I said._

_"You are taking his sister with you?" She asked in shock._

_"Not really. Esme will bring her to me Monday morning or we will take her hoe with us Sunday night and then Esme will pick her up Wednesday." I said._

_"So you are and Jaz are part time parents?" She said._

_"It's not like that! Since I am moving and I am Esme's sitter she had to rearrange her schedule." I defended her._

_"I didn't mean anything bad by it. That came out wrong." She said back tracking, "You will be coming back here on the weekends?" _

_"Yeah, just to get away from the city." I said._

_"Have you ever lived there, Bella?" I shook my head, "I love the city! There is always something to do." She said._

_We sat there uncomfortably for a minute then I asked, "Why is this so hard?" _

_"Well, I seem to be saying all the wrong things. First I interrogate you over Jasper, then I insult Esme. I'm screwing this up!" she groaned, "This wasn't the way I pictures this going! I wanted a close relationship with my brother and dad but I also want one with you too. I just can't figure out how to do that! With Jasper and dad it was easy but I just…I don't know. You are dating my brother and it just so…I don't know… unexpected." She looked up shook her head. "I never expected to be jealous of you!" _

_"Jealous? Of me? Why?" I stammered._

_"You got to spend your childhood with Jasper. You have these stories about him that I will never have. I want that history with him. I don't have a single memory of him in my childhood." She said sadly._

_"I think dad still has some old video of the three of us playing together. There's one that is hysterical. We talked Jaz into playing cheerleader. He would have done anything to make you smile. He was out there dancing around with us in the backyard. There's a lot of things like that! I will call dad and have him get it." I said trying to make her feel better._

_"I'm sorry! I know its stupid to feel like that!" She said._

_"Not really. You should know that you were always in his thoughts. He never said anything to your dad but he and I would have a small birthday party for you every year." I said. Tears rolled down her face and she excused herself to the bathroom._

_I called dad who he had just had all of the video put on DVDs and had it recorded on his computer. He emailed me the videos. When Bree came back I played them for her. She giggled as tears rolled down her cheeks. When the guys got back they were concerned and thought we were fighting at the sight of Bree crying. _

_"What happened?" Jaz asked the distress evident in his voice._

_"Bella got me some old home videos of us." Bree sobbed, "I had forgotten about these." _

_"You two are not fighting?" he asked looking me in the eye._

_"No. She was telling me that she wished that she had childhood memories of you. I remembered the video that dad had of the three of us playing and got it for her." I said calmly feeling anything but._

_Rylie joined Bree on the couch and I went to the kitchen trying to calm myself down. Jaz walked in and watched me quietly. "Are you ok?" he asked._

_"Yeah, I'm fine!" I said as I fixed everyone some tea._

_"I think there is more to this. You seem sad." He said._

_"Jaz, you worry to much!" I said feeling alittle calmer. I handed him a couple tea glasses and we joined Bree and Rylie. _

_I noticed Jaz watching Bree and I. I knew he wasn't going to let this go. We ate supper and watched movies until Bree went to lay Raylen down and then Rylie turned to me._

_"Thank you for giving her this! It may just help her not to be so jealous of you." He said squeezing my shoulder gently._

_"Jealous?" Jaz said. _

_"I'm sorry." Bree said hanging her head and walking out the door Jaz followed her._

_"I didn't realize that you hadn't told him." Rylie said._

_"I didn't want to make waves. She and Jaz need a relationship. We will become friends again someday when she's ready." I said sadly._

_"Why not just worry about being happy and around each other? Bree would you have a problem with me having a girlfriend if you didn't know her?" Jaz asked from that porch._

_"I don't have a problem with Bella being your girlfriend. I just… She has all of these cool memories with you. She got to spend her childhood with you. I didn't get that! I needed that!" Bree sobbed. Jaz pulled her into a hug._

_"Bella and I do share a lot of memories and had you been here you would have been there with us. Bella gave you a piece of our childhood. Do you remember any of it? Do you remember my teaching you how to climb a tree?" He said, "That was the day before you left." _

_"Jaz I do have those memories but I just needed you back then." Bree was crying hard and I felt terrible for her._

_"I needed you too but Victoria took that away from us. I would have had no one if it wasn't for Bella. She didn't replace you but together we were able to cope with your absence." He said softly, "You will always be my little sister! I have always loved you!" _

_He held her for a long time, Rylie went to see about Raylen who was fussin and I cleaned up supper then slipped out the back door. I walked down to the barn hoping the walk would clear my head. I called dad while I was there and ask him to come and get me. I had just hung up when I heard someone walking up behind me and was wrapped in Jaz's arms._

_"Your not ok." He said knowingly._

_"There's nothing I can do to fix it." I said softly, "I am going to spend the night over at Dad's and then go fishing with him early. He's picking me up in a little while." _

_"Bella, no. We need to figure this out." He argued._

_"Jaz," I said turning in his arms, "This weekend is about you and your sister. There will be time later to sort out Bree and I. I just feel like that you both need this time together." I said. _

_"You don't have to go." Jaz said pitifully._

_"I know that! Jaz, I love you and I see that you need this!" I said kissing him softly. We headed up to the house and I packed a bag. I could hear Bree and Rylie's muted conversation from their room. I packed a bag and Jaz and I waited for dad together. When Dad got there I turned to him._

_"Enjoy your day. I will be back tomorrow night!" I said kissing him. I hopped into Dad's truck and we were off._

_I watched the rear view mirror as we drove off. Bree and Rylie had came onto the porch with Jaz. I quickly text Jaz. _

**I love you! Be nice! xB**

**Love u 2. Come back? xJ**

**Tomorrow. Going fishin' w/ Dad xB**

_The ride to town was quiet. Dad understood that I couldn't talk about it now. Once we were home I sat on the couch with him. _

_"I saw your text about Gone Fishin' with Dad. Do ya wana take the boat out tomorrow?" he asked._

_"That sounds great." I said._

_"Do you need to talk?" He asked sadly, "I thought you and Jaz were good together." _

_"We are! Dad, we're not fighting. Bree needs this time alone with Jaz." I said._

_"So you had to leave tonight?" He said._

_"She's jealous that I got to spend my childhood with Jaz. I just wanted to give her some time. She seems to be really upset by my presents so I figures I would go back home after she leaves. I don't want to be in the way of their relationship." I said._

_"You really didn't think this through. Do you honestly believe this is what Jaz wants?" Dad said as the doorbell rang and Jaz let himself in._

_"What are you doing?" I asked him._

_"I get that you are trying to give my time with my sister but Darlin' I won't let anyone chase you away from me. Come home! I need you." He said, "If you stay the night here then so do I." _

_"Jaz, this isn't a big deal! It's just one night." I said._

_"It is a big deal! What happens when we move? Are you going to run off anytime Bree gets upset?" He asked. _

_"Well, I'm going to bed. Bells, I will call you tomorrow and see if you still want to go fishing." My dad said._

_"Just come get me around 7. We'll take the boat out." I snapped._

_"Bells." Jaz started._

_"You need time with Bree! I would like some time with my father. This will be perfect!" I said._

_"Fine. At least come home tonight?" He begged, "Please?"_

_"I'll come home tonight." I said._

_"I'll see you in the morning." Dad said and headed upstairs._

_I followed Jaz to the car and was surprised headed off to the Bluffs. When we were parked Jaz turned and pulled me into his lap._

_"I love you and I won't let anyone come between us. I have waited to long to be with you and I don't care who it is there is no one as important to me as you are. I'm sorry Bree's upset but she's going to have to get over it. You are my everything and if she wants to be a part of my life then she has to accept you." He said._

_I snuggled into him. I had never heard any words sweeter then what he had spoken to me. "I love you too Jaz." I said as I clung to him. I saw that the stunt I pulled earlier had pulled earlier had hurt him, "I'm sorry Jaz. I should have talked to you before I just…" _

_"Ran away." He supplied, "I know why you did it but Darlin' from now on can we talk about things before a decision is made." _

_"Yes! I really stepped in it this time. So how upset is our guests now?" I asked not wanting to face Bree after I ran from her._

_"Their not. Bree thinks you ran an errand Rylie's the only one I told and he agrees that Bree needs to get over it. He admires what you were trying to do but he agrees with me. Tomorrow we are having a weenie roast. I was texting you dad. He knows the plan. I also invited mom and dad." He said, "And after they leave I am taking you to dinner and a movie. Our first official date!" I smiled up at him and he kissed me. _

_Once we got home Rylie asked if I had cemented the plans for the weenie roast. He played his part to a T. Bree was quiet and I let her be. I was exhausted, today was crazy and I just needed to rest. I excused myself to take a shower. _

_The hot water washed over me relaxing my muscles. When I turned the water off I realized that I wasn't alone in the bathroom. Jaz was leaned against the wall with my towel over his shoulder. _

_"Can I have my towel back?" I asked. He shook his head walking toward me. He kissed me and started drying me off. I grinned and enjoyed having his hands on me. He finally wrapped me in my robe and we walked to the bedroom. I was too tired to care that the door to Bree and Rylie's room was open. She stared at us the entire walk to the bedroom. I managed to call out a good night before Jaz shut our bedroom door. _

_I stepped into my flannel PJ's and Slipped into bed where Jaz was waiting with open arms. He pulled me to him and I was asleep almost instantly with the gentle lullaby of his beating heart!_

_Jaz POV_

_ The next morning I was awakened by Bella's turning in my arms, she was watching the sun climb into the sky. I watched her enjoying having her in my arms. _

_"Morning, Jaz!" she whispered softly trying to determine if I was awake without waking me._

_ "Morning Darlin'." I said placing a trail on feather-lite kisses from her shoulder to her cheek. _

_ She turned back to me and kissed me gently. The kisses became more urgent and I watched her face as I kissed her and enjoyed the pure bliss that each kiss. I knew that I had to pull back and rein in my excitement before this went much further. I didn't want her to feel pressured into anything. I slowly rolled us so she was on top and continued kissing her and she deepened the kiss. _

_ There was a knock at the door followed by Bree's voice, "Bella?"_

_ Bella sat up adjusted her shirt and want to the door, "Hi, Bree." Bella said opening the door._

_ "Can we talk?" She said. _

_ "Yeah, come on we'll go make some coffee." Bella said. I watched as they went down stairs and then went to see Rylie. _

_ Rylie walked in to the room mumbling to himself about crazy women._

_ "What's going on? Why did Bree want to talk to Bella?" I asked._

_ "Because she has done something stupid! She called Victoria last night while you and I were talking. She was jealous of Bella and was hoping that Victoria would chase her away. After our talk I guess she tried to call her off but couldn't. Your mom should be here this morning. Bree told me this morning. I told her to fix it. She is telling Bella what she has done, now." Rylie said._

_ It was about then that we heard arguing downstairs. I jumped up and flew downstairs to Bella's side. She was standing face to face with my mother. She was yelling about Bella for being here and told her she would never belong here. That was all it took. I came unhinged! I stepped in front of Bella and let this stranger have the full force of my wrath._

_ "What the hell do you mean? She has every right to be here. She has been there for me my entire life! She knows what a mess I am. Hell, she's the only reason I'm here, if not for that fact that I knew she would have been the one to find me I would have ended it all. The only reason I didn't was thinking about hurting her was worse then losing you and Bree. I could have never done that to her. She has never run out on me. This is her home! She is the woman that I will spent the rest of my life with!" I snarled flinching as I heard a sob from behind me. I spun around and took Bella in my arms. The tears streaming down her face nearly killed me. I had vowed to never tell her about that because I knew her reaction. I grabbed my keys and carried her out the door. Once in the truck I just drove hating that I had hurt her._

_ "Why didn't you tell me?" Bella sobbed._

_ "Because I couldn't do it." I said softly._

_ "Couldn't? As in you were going to and then backed out?" she whispered._

_ "Darlin' It's over now. It doesn't matter." I said pulling over._

_ "It matters to me!" she said looking into my eyes._

_ "Please don't." I whispered. I didn't want to tell her about it. It would only upset her if she knew that I had come so close, "I don't want to talk about it. The important thing is that I didn't. I hate that this slipped out like that."_

_ "Would you have ever told me?" she said sadly._

_ "No and I won't talk about it now." I said, "It's over now. I am happy and whole because of you." I held her as she sobbed. I felt horrible about upsetting her so badly. She was crying so hard there was no sound. I knew I had screwed up bad. She was everything to me and I had hurt her. _

_ Finally she asked, "Did you talk to someone?" _

_ "Yes." I said hoping that this would end the conversation._

_ "Oh my God! You talked to dad! It was the summer that he took us camping all summer long and watched us every second of the day!" She realized._

_ "Yes. After…I came to find you. I just needed to be near you. You were sick and your dad just saw it. He sat me down and we had a serious talk. He interrogated me til I cracked and told him everything including the part about thinking about you and not being able to do it. He agreed that it would have devastated you and then told me that it would devastate him too. And the next day we were gone." I said._

_ "Jaz, I could never handle losing you like that!" The terrified look in her eyes nearly killed me._

_ "I'm ok now, Darlin'. You don't have to worry about me." I said as I kissed her cheek, "You know that right?" _

_ I watched as the uncertainty clouded her features and it broke my heart, "We should go back. We have a house full of people." She said stoically._

"Are we ok?" I asked as I pulled back onto the road and headed home.

"We need to talk but we will be." She said.

When we pulled in Rylie was as the sitting on the porch. We got out surprised not to see Victoria's car.

"She went to find you two. She'll be back. Bree is upstairs. It wasn't pretty after you dropped your bomb and then left. Bella wasn't the only one who fell apart. Your mom went looking for you and Bree cried her self to sleep." He said tiredly.

"I hadn't ever planned to tell anyone. I was just so pissed that it just came out." I said.

"Go see your sister." Bella said softly.

As I went I heard Rylie talking to Bella.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

"I don't know." She replied.

I hated that sad uncertainty I had caused. I was halfway up the stairs when Rylie called me back. "Jaz Get down here."

I turned to see him easing Bella into the couch. I saw blood gushing from her nose and Rylie pinching the bridge of it. I called dad as I sprinted to them. Bree had awakened and came to see what the commotion was. She was upset by the scene before her and ended up crying in Rylie's arms. Dad made it in record time. He ran through the screen door and over to Bella. Rylie just about had the bleeding stopped but Bella was a little dizzy. Bella explained that it had been a stressful morning and that she had gotten upset. It was about that time that Victoria came through the door. Dad stiffened and turned back to Bella.

"Let's get he up to bed. She doesn't need any more stress! She has not recovered fully and at this rate she will end up back in the hospital." He said looking at me sternly.

I lifted her into my arms and carried her up to bed followed by everyone. She looked exhausted. I felt so bad I had caused this. I followed Dad as he led the way and carefully laid her down. She looked so small at that moment. Dad gave her a sleeping pill and we sat with her until she was asleep. Rylie went to sit with Raylen and whispered he would keep an eye on Bella for me. Dad looked sternly at the rest on and he ushered us downstairs.

"What happened? Why did she get upset?" he demanded.

"Well, your son was yelling at me and …" Victoria said.

"I slipped about the reason for that all summer long camping trip. Bella was more upset than I have ever seen her." I told dad, "I can't believe I told her."

"You should have told her years ago." Dad said sympathetically.

"I knew she would be upset and I didn't want that!" I said sadly.

"She's tough! She'll be ok." Dad said pulling me into a rear hug.

"Thanks, Dad!" I said.

"You're welcome!" He said then turned to Victoria and said, "What did you do to her? That's the only reason he would loose his temper around her!"

"I was trying to determine her intentions toward my son." She sniped.

"Now you want to be his mother?" Dad growled.

"I am his mother." She said raising her voice.

"Keep your voice down. Don't you dare wake her up." I warned.

"Dad thanks for coming to see Bella. I will make her as appointment with Dr. Call this afternoon." I said hinting that he should go.

"Call me if you need anything." Dad said.

"I will. See ya later!" I said as he left. Victoria sunk to the couch and watched me pace the room.

"Why did you come?" I asked her. I needed answers.

"When Bree called last night and said that you had found her I was shocked. Then she went on to tell me that you invited her here and I was a little hurt that you didn't invite me too. I was in the car and here before I really had time to think and then I got here and heard your girlfriend telling Bree that she was hurting you and I flew into protection mode when I saw Bree's tears. I tore into her wanting to hurt her for hurting Bree. I was shocked to really see her. They told me what happened to her." Victoria said.

"I found you too. I just wasn't ready to see you again. I called Bree because I have been searching for my sister for years. I didn't even know if you would want to see me. I figured I would start with Bree and then work up to meeting you." I said feeling like I was going to be sick.

"Jaz, the reason I left you is that I knew that your dad needed someone to occupy his time." She began.

"So if he was stuck with me he wouldn't have time to search for you and the child you did want." I said.

"No, Jasper that's not it." She began.

"Look, I am not ready for this and I don't have time for this. I need to check on Bella. How about when we get moved you and I will meet for lunch? That's as good as I can do for now." I told her heading upstairs to check on Bella.

I stopped in the doorway seeing Rylie sitting on the edge of her bed gently dabbling her nose with a wet washcloth. Cleaning the dried blood off of her face.

"She gets restless unless someone in sitting with her." He said stepping out of the way to let me take his place.

She snuggled close to me and relaxed totally when I lay down and shifted her onto my chest. She laid her head in the center of my chest and seemed content. I called to get an appointment with Dr. Call and he said that Dad had talked to him and he was concerned that the visitors at our house were causing her stress. I was inclined to agree. I told him that everyone was on their way out and that it would just be us. HE said that he trusted Dad's judgment and as long as there were no more episodes that he was fine with seeing her at her scheduled time then gave me his personal cell phone number before we hung up.

Rylie entered the room and whispered, "Victoria is gone and Bree and I are packing up now. She wanted to stay long enough to tell Bella bye. Then we will go." He whispered.

"Thanks Rylie. I'm sorry this weekend didn't turn out to be so great." I said.

"You all were great! It was us." He said, "She," pointing to Bella, "bent over backward to make this work out. You better hang on to her! She's one of the good ones."

"I plan to." I said smiling down and her.

"I'm sorry I caused so much drama." Bree said peeking through the door, "I didn't realize how it would effect her. Rylie said this was brought on by stress?"

"Yes. She should have been resting but I upset her more than anyone." I said.

"If I hadn't have been being selfish none of this would have happened." She whispered.

"I can hear you." Bella mumbled groggily.

Bree came to sit on the bad as said, "I'm so sorry. I"

"Stop apologizing." Bella slurred, "I'm fine. Nothing a little rest won't fix."

"We'll see ya later Bella." Rylie said patting Bella's shoulder.

Bella slurred some thing that sounded like good-bye and then was out again. I shifted Bella onto the bed and followed Bree and Rylie carrying Raylen. He was such a spunky little guy. I wish I had gotten more time with my little nephew and I know he would have adored Bella but all that would have to wait.

I expertly buckled him into his car seat and blew one more raspberry on his belly making him squeal as he giggled. I hugged Bree good-bye and waved to Rylie and then headed back inside to see Bella at the top of the stairs frowning at the steps.

"Bella, Stay right there! I'm coming to get you." I said as I ran to her.

"I wasn't going to try to go down them. I know better than that!" She said annoyed.

"What do you need Darlin'?" I asked her.

"I don't know. I just," She huffed.

"Let's get you back to bed." I said as I took her in my arms.

She laid her head on my shoulders and closed her eyes as I took her back to our room. She slept most of the day and I was content to watch her. That evening she awoke and looked up at me.

"I'm glad you're here!" She said snuggling closer to me.

"Where else would I be?" I said wrapping my arms around her.

"You know what I mean." She said. I did know exactly what she meant and I was unwilling to talk about it with her right now, if ever.

"Not now! Dr. Call says that if you don't avoid stress that he's going to put you back in the hospital. I promise those thoughts are long gone and we can talk about it later." I said dreading when later came.

"Alright." She whispered.

"Do you want to go down stairs? Mom and Dad dropped off some food." I asked her.

"That sounds good." She said in a disinterested voice. I knew what was haunting her mind and it pained me to know that I would have to deal with this soon. I scooped her into my arms and carried her down stairs sitting her on the couch.

"I'll go get the food." I said rushing into the kitchen. I couldn't stand the look in her eye. It was that of sorrow, disappointment, and worry. I fixed our plates and then took them in to her. She was staring out the window looking so lost with a tear rolling down her cheek I took a deep breath and decided that I needed to put all of this to rest.

"Hey." I said putting the food down and hugging her, "It's ok."

"No it's not. You kept this from me for years." She whispered brokenly.

"I almost lost you. Jaz, it hurts to think about it! I almost can't breath." She whispered.

"I'm sorry, Darlin'." I said rocking her.

"How were you going to…" she stopped looking horrified.

"I hadn't made a decision yet." I lied.

"Jaz."

"Does it matter?" I asked knowing she would drive herself crazy with this, "Alright, mom had left some sleeping pills at the house when she left. At first I just had them because they were hers kinda like the Panda Bear Bree had left." I began watching her reaction carefully, " Then as the years went by I grew more and more depressed. I even made you promise not to tell anyone about you finding me so upset all the time." I paused as she looked at me.

"I never should have promised." She whispered.

"I shouldn't have put you in that position." I said hugging her tight, "That morning Dad said he was On-Call but when I called they said that dad wasn't. I got a glass of water and poured the pills onto the bed. There were 26 little light purple pills. I remember smiling thinking that they were the exact color of your favorite shirt. I picked them up and sat there for along time. I thought about everyone in my life. I started to write you a letter. I sobbed and cried as I wrote it. Trying to explain why I was leaving you was agony and worse still was the though of your pain and anger and the fact that you would probably be the one to find me. Finally I put the pills back in the bottle and decided I would spend one last day with you and that I would do it the next day. When I got to your house your dad said you were sick but knew something was wrong and I told you the rest. He marched over and got the pills and flushed them and then he called my Dad." I told her.

"Would you have still done it that next day?" She asked sadly.

"The truth is, I really don't know. I couldn't stand the thought of disappearing on you like she did to me. I like to think that I wouldn't have but I am just glad that I didn't have to find out." I told her.

"How could I not have realized? You were my best friend?" She said sadly.

"We were kids, you were two years younger than I was. At ten that thought never crossed your mind." I said.

"So what changed your mind?" she said looking me in the eye.

"That summer Charlie talked to me he said that I would always have the two of you and that you all wouldn't leave no matter what! I was still mopey that first half of the summer but I started to see how lucky I was that Charlie knew me well enough to know that there was something wrong." I told her.

"I'm so glad he did to." She said tears still in her eyes.

I held her for a long time until her stomach grumbling interrupted up. I sat her plate on her lap and we ate quietly. I could see her mind racing.

"I promise you Darlin', I will never even contemplate it again." I said.

She smiled at me but remained silent. After supper I did the dished and came back to find her texting away on her phone. She was smiling but tears where falling as well. I pulled her on to my lap and noticed she was texting with Bree.

"I didn't get a chance catch up with her. First she was so excited to see you and then she was so irritated by me then she was jealous of me and then she was gone. She text me." She said.

"Why are you crying?" I asked.

"Just, everything! I'm just overwhelmed. This weekend was an absolute disaster." She said.

**Please let me know what you think! I am nervous as to how you all will react! I had mixed feelings about this twist and even scrapped it twice to continue down the old path but the twist kept popping back in to my head! I never intended for Carlisle to be truly bad.**


	18. Chapter 18

I don't own anything!

A/N: A huge thank you to my reviewers on FanFiction. If not for your reviews I would have threw in the towel, pulled Ch 17 and put up an epilog. Thank you for your encouragement! I know not everyone is happy with the last twist but it was always the plan for this story and I have a lot more good times in store for all of my characters.

Jaz POV

I woke up crumpled on the couch with Bella still in my arms and a massive catch in my back. It hurt to move so I lay there thinking about last night. Telling Bella about the pills had been hard on me. I relived the pain, guilt and shame I felt at the time but worst of all was the fear and pain that it caused Bella. She had this look in her eye that nearly killed me every time she looked at me. She was worried that I would try it again. I had to prove to her that I had every reason in the world to want to live now.

"Jaz?" Bella said pulling me back to reality.

"Hey, Darlin'!" I said and moved to kiss her but winced as pain shot from my neck to my tailbone.

"Are you ok?" She asked sitting up alarmed.

"Yeah, just slept with my back and neck at a bind last night. It's just catch-y." I said.

"I'll go get you some ibuprophin." She said making her way to the kitchen. I stretched out in the floor trying to get comfortable but was unsuccessful. When Bella came back she smiled sympathetically as she helped me sit up. I leaned back against the couch and took the pills and water she handed me. When she took the glass back and headed into the kitchen I was struck by the thought that this felt so normal and comfortable. There was no having to be at my best to impress her. She knew my faults and loved me anyway.

I heard a knock on the door and was powerless to get up. Bella came out of the kitchen and opened the door. Mom looked at me with an arched brow.

"Well, Don't get up on my account!" She said.

"His back is messed up. We fell asleep on the couch last night." Bella offered.

"Oh Sweetie, you know your back can't handle that! Ever since that car wreck last year you've had issues." She scolded. Great, yet another bomb dropped on Bella.

"I know! I'm payin' for it now!" I groaned as I shifted to my hands and knees. Ali chose that moment to bounce right in the middle of me. Bella snatched Ali before she could fall off of my back and there was stabbing pain shooting through me but then my back was alittle better. I was able to get to my feet and move around alittle better.

"Are you ok?" Bella asked concerned.

"Yeah! Actually it's alittle better." I said.

"I'm going to go and take a hot shower and see if I can relax my muscles." I said.

When I came back down Mom and Bella where talking about the weekend and I could hear Bella asking mom about the wreck that I had kept from her. My mom was reassuring Bella that I was fine now. I hoped that this would end the subject but the look Bella shot me told me that there would be a serious conversation later. When I sat down beside Bella she melted into me.

"Are you sure you are ok?" She asked softly.

"Bella, I'm fine." I assured her.

"Tell me?" She said.

"I was headed back to school and there was some lady texting away and didn't see the stop light change and speed through the intersection. They told me that she hit me broad side. I was knocked unconscious during the accident. I woke up after surgery later that day. They had to fuse a couple vertebra together and I had a pretty bad concussion. They kept me for a couple days and then mom stays with me a week after that. I'm ok though! You don't need to worry." I said hoping to ease her stress.

"You didn't tell me." She said sadly.

"Darlin' at the time I didn't want to ruin you all's trip. Then after I was healed up it didn't seem relevant anymore." I said, "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you."

"You're really ok?" She said.

"I am fine, Bella." I said.

She hugged me and I could almost feel the relief rolling off of her. I showed her the faded scar and she kissed it starting a fire inside of me like I had never felt before. I had always wanted her but this was an intense aching need to hold her in my arms and never let go.

The rest of that week was spent relaxing and being lazy. Today was Saturday and I was going stir crazy! The only time I left the house was to feed the chickens. I was ready to get out. Bella's bruises had faded and she agreed to our first official date.

We decided on dinner and a movie. She insisted on going to the little pizza/burger place and I was reminded and teased about the date I had crashed here. I chuckled remembering how terrible I was to James. We laughed and reminisced and were both shocked to see Maria walking out of the office. She grinned and came over.

"I always knew you two belonged together! How are ya?" She smiled.

"We're good. And you?" I asked.

"I'm ok. I got this place in the divorce so, you know." She said.

Bella said, "You married James? I knew that he had gotten married but I didn't know it was you."

"Yeah, I got pregnant and married him and then decided he just wasn't for me." She said patting her small baby bump. "Well, I'll let you two enjoy your dinner."

I was dumbstruck. I had heard that a little gold-digger married James and divorced him with in a few months and got a massive divorce settlement and his business.

"Wow! James truly cared for her. It came out that it's not even his baby." I told Bella.

"Do you think she planned it?" she asked.

"I have heard rumors that she had turned gold-digger." I said.

"I guess they were true." She said.

When our food got to the table she chuckled, "This is the same meal we always had when we were kids, we are sitting in the same booth we always did in the same ol' diner." She said. I pondered for a moment and regretted not taking her somewhere nicer until she smiled, "I love it! It's fitting! All those times we were here together as kids should have been dates."

"They would have if we weren't so bull-headed." I laughed.

"I know!" she smiled.

We laughed and talked through dinner and then headed to see the latest horror flick. Bella didn't know which movie we were seeing because I had bought the tickets online. I knew she would love it.

When we pulled up I read the titles aloud to her.

"Since this is a date night I took the liberty of getting the tickets online. I know this one will be the perfect date-night show for us!" I said seeing her look skeptically at the sappy romantic date movie posted.

Once I had the tickets, I handed them to her and was rewarded with my favorite smile. In line to get popcorn she grinned, "I was terrified I was going to have to sit through one of those sappy movies."

"Now would I do that to you?" I asked hugging her tight.

"I didn't think so but then you started talking about the perfect movie for a date night and I was beginning to worry." She giggled.

"I said the perfect date-night show _for us!_" I chuckled.

She laughed took my hand, "You had me!"

"I know!" I said.

We ordered our drinks and popcorn and watched our movie. She jumped and snuggled into me and I loved every minute of it.

After the movie Bella fell asleep on the way home. I gently scooped her up and carried her to bed. I loved the thought of being here with her every night for the rest of my life. I knew it was too soon to ask her to be my wife but I so desperately wanted her to be mine. That night she sighed my name several times and my heart soared. She was dreaming about me.

The next morning Bella had an appointment with Dr. Call. He was pleased that there had been no more blackouts or nosebleeds.

"Now Bella, I am releasing you from all restrictions, just don't over do it!" Dr. Call said sternly. After seeing Bella's smirk he promptly turned to me and said, "Don't let her over do it!"

Bella's smirk turned to a scowl and it was Dr. Call who was wearing the smirk. When we left I took Bella to the diner and we had lunch and were joined by her father. Charlie was pleased that Bella was doing well. Bella asked Charlie to come out and go fishing with us this weekend. By the end of lunch it had turned into a fish fry for dinner after the fishing trip. We were now inviting Mom and Dad, and Harry to fish and hang out too. There was talk of inviting Bree and Rylie but I wasn't sure if I would actually invite them after what happened.

Once we returned home Bella asked to go riding. Since the horses were so calm I saddled them up and we took off. We rode along each of us feeling the stress releasing us. I enjoyed the smile that softened Bella's features. It was nice to just be happy together.

"Jaz? When are you going to call Bree and Rylie?" she asked.

"Are you sure it's a good idea? I mean the last time they were here it didn't go so well." I said.

"Jaz, we are going to have to figure this out sooner or later." She said.

I sighed, "Fine but I am talking to dad and they are staying with Dad instead of with us."

"Jaz," She started.

"No! That will give them and us some space. Bree is jealous of you and until that is resolved she's going to treat you badly and I won't have it!" I said firmly, "I won't allow anyone to treat you that way! Ever! I love you, Bella and I will always protect you from anyone and anything!"

"I love you too, Jaz! Bree and I are going to have to work this out sooner or later!" She said.

"It will have to be later! She is not allowed to treat you bad!" I said.

It was her turn to sigh, "Ok." Looking at me expectantly.

I sighed and pulled out my phone fearing that this was a bad idea. I dialed Dad and invited him and mom to the fish fry and then told them my dilemma with Bree. Dad said that they could stay with them and even offered to be the one to invite them down. I was glad for his understanding.

After that Bella and I just enjoyed the ride. We had ridden in the pasture and decided to check out the trails Bella had dreamed of riding. I was surprised by how accurate she was. I remembered taking her walking on the trail one summer but that was when we were kids. We rode the perimeter of the long forgotten hay meadow. I would have to clear the trail better so a tractor to it and cut it for hay. We rode through a gate at the back if the meadow and then down a well-worn trail counting the deer tacks until our back porch came into view.

The next day Ali came over and we played with her all morning. When she finally took a nap Bella worked on her computer and I ran into town. Bella's dream had me thinking. I had decided to see if I could intern with Mason and Jenks through the summer. I was hoping that it would open doors in the future. I wanted to stay local after school and they would be my first choice. If not with them then I would probably try to start my own practice.

As I walked in the door the receptionist greeted me warmly, "Good Morning! May I help you?"

"Yes, I am Jasper Whitlock and I'm a law Student on summer break and wanted to see if Mr. Jenkins or Mr. Mason would be interested in an intern until Mid-July." I told her.

I heard heavy footfalls coming quickly up the hallway and Mr. Mason appeared in the doorway, "How many years do you have left?"

"Next year I will finish my classes and then take my bar." I said.

"Oh, Thank God!" he said, "Come on!"

He led me back into a large conference room where Mr. Jenkins was seated. The table was piled high with file folders and loose papers.

"You're Carlisle's_ GOOD _Son, aren't you?" asked the man sitting behind the table.

"Um, well I guess." I said thrown off by the label, "I'm Jasper."

"I thought so! That brother of yours," he shook his head in disgust.

"Jenks, we're not here to gossip." Mr. Mason said gruffly, "Jasper has offered to intern for us for the summer."

"I heard that. We need the help so I'm fine with that!" Jenks huffed then turned back to me, "Are you really with your brother's ex-wife?"

"Um, I am dating my step-brothers ex-wife, yes." I said feeling alittle weird about this conversation.

"She's a sweet heart! Don't hurt her! Her dad will kill ya." He chuckled.

"Can you start today? Jenks and I are working on a case and need someone to help prepare a few witnesses for trail." Mr. Mason rushed out.

"Yes, I could start today. I do need to call home and let Bella know what's going on." I said.

Jenks smirked and said, "Well, then! Don't keep the little lady waiting!"

I walked into the hall and called Bella. She was thrilled that I was going to be interning. When I returned Mr. Mason slid me a stack of papers, "These are the case notes to familiarize yourself with the case." Then slid a file folder to me, "These are the witnesses you will be preparing this afternoon." He then stood and left the room carrying a stack on files.

"He can be alittle high-strung sometimes. You'll get use to him." He said then proceeded to catch me up on the high-points of the case and how they liked to prep their witnesses. After twenty minutes I was up to speed and helping Jenks sort financial documents and reading through evidence. There were a few documents that I thought should be excluded and brought them to Jenks attention. By the end of the day the opposition's main evidence was thrown out and they wanted to settle out of court. Jenks and Mr. Mason were impressed.

By the end of the day I was mentally drained. As I pulled up the drive I smiled to see Bella and Ali digging in a flowerbed and I could picture her and our future children doing the same. I parked and walked over to them scooping my baby sister up and kissing her little cheek. She was covered from head to toe in the dirt she had been playing in.

Bella stood beside me and asked, "How did it go?"

I kissed her lips and then grinned, "It was great!" I told her the highlights of my day and then we headed inside. I let Ali splash in the tub while Bella finished supper and we just bringing Ali back down stairs when mom pulled up to get her. We fell into this routine quickly.

We weekend came quickly and I was relieved that Bree had other plans. Everyone gathered at the pond and fished. I was amazed when Harry brought a date. Bella animatedly told him the Stephanie part of her dream and he chuckled and confessed that he had brought Steph to the hospital once to introduce her to me but I was sleeping so they talked to Bella for a few minutes and left. We caught more than enough for our fish fry. There were 4 gallon sized freezer bags that we put in the freezer. We had a great time while we ate and then Harry started dancing with Step to a song on the radio. That prompted me to pull Bella close and dance with her too. I relished any chance to have her in my arms. The night was spent dancing and laughing. Our family was slowly healing and blending everyone together. Harry was like another parent and Steph blended well with our group.

The days passed quickly and soon it was time for Ali's birthday. We gathered at Mom and Dad's house to celebrate the birth of by little sister. Bella and I may have gone a little crazy it the toy store. We bought Ali a kitchen set and a gardening kit. Mom chuckled and told us to keep the garden tools at the house for when she was at the farm. The cake was huge and Ali looked like a little Princess in her pink frilly dress. She loved every minute of her party! She loved having us all there and made time to snuggle with each of us. When it was time to open presents she daintily opened each one taking the time to look it over completely. She was the sweetest little girl I had ever seen.

On the 4th Bella and I went with Harry to pick up her horse. He was a gentle giant. He and Bella fell in love in mere seconds. The rest of the month evenings and days off were spent riding. Bella loved Diesel and he would do anything for her. He was a giant puppy following her anywhere she went. He even escaped the paddock frequently to peer through the kitchen window at her. She would laugh and take him a treat and walk him back to the paddock.

We spent every evening riding. It was a great stress release and the closer Edward's release came the more I needed to relax. Bella seemed to be fine. She had made peace with the fact that he would soon be released and had asked Esme to remind him to give us our space. I doubted he would.

The day he was released Jenks and I ran into him and mom at the dinner. I was startled by the rage I felt. I wanted to beat him senseless. Jenks must have guessed what I was feeling because he changed our order to go and we took our food back to the office. That afternoon Mom called me.

"Hey, Sweetie! I just wanted to let you know that Edward will be staying with your dad and me. I know that you won't come but we are having a welcome home party for Edward tonight. I would love to see you two work things out but I understand if it's too soon." She said.

"It's not going to happen!" I growled, "After what he did I don't want to be anywhere near him. I hate that he is living near Ali!"

"He would never hurt Ali!" My mother growled back.

"No? I thought that he would never hurt Bella once but we all know how that turned out!" I quipped.

"Jasper," Mom said softly, "I am going to talk now and you will listen! I realize that there are major issues between you two. He would never have hit Bella deliberately. I know that he was outa line and you have a right to be angry that he tried to hit you. He feels terrible about Bella getting hurt. Have you ever thought about how the end of his marriage and the way that you stepped in and took his place made him feel? Jasper, he was going to try to fix his marriage. He was willing to work on it. He saw your relationship with her as a betrayal. He needed his brother then." I heard the door in the back ground and Edward talking to someone and it irritated me.

"Mom, if there had been a chance for their marriage, I wouldn't have stood in the way." I started.

"Jaz, you're…" She tried to interrupt me but I wouldn't let her.

"Mom, just listen! I suggested counseling and she told me no. She saw the way he defended his mistress from her as the death of her marriage. I didn't push her to divorce him. In fact I asked her to be sure! Are you going to regret this later? I asked. I talked to her about her marriage extensively and she still went forward with the divorce. I have loved her forever and kept quiet while he was married to her. Even knowing about his affair I wanted her to be sure. I could have swept her away but I didn't. After their divorce she told me about her feelings for me and that she loved me. Only then did I expose what I felt. That was the day that he almost killed her. I love her more that life itself. I always have it just took a while for me to see it. I am sorry that it is hurting Edward but I will never apologize for my love for her." I finished hearing her front door slam.

"Jasper, you were on speaker I was giving Ali a bath and couldn't leave her and Edward heard what you said before he left." She said sadly, "He's upset Jaz. He always looked up to you."

"Mom, Edward isn't my problem anymore." I said.

At 5 I took the time to help Jenks get his car started. After he left I noticed Edward sitting on the tailgate of my truck. I sighed and walked over to him fighting the urge to pulverize him.

"Edward?" I said sternly.

"Hello, Jasper." The formality wasn't lost on me.

"What are you doing here?" I fought to keep and even tone.

"I just needed to apologize. I know you will never allow me near Bella so the next best thing is to apologize to you. Hearing you talking to mom changed things alittle but it still hurt to hear." He said.

"Edward, I can't do this now." I said losing control of my anger, "I have to go before I do something I'll regret later."

"Sure." He said stepping away from my truck. I drove away feeling better the further away I got from my brother.

When I got home I pulled Bella to me holding her tight and I felt myself relaxing.

"I take it your momma called you today." She said.

"Yeah. Among other things." I said.

"Uh-oh! What happened?" She asked.

"I was on speaker when I was talking to mom and Edward was there. He came to see me. It took everything I had not to beat the living daylights outa him." I said softly.

"What did he say?" she asked.

"That he was sorry." I said.

"I wish this was all over and you two were friends again like you once were. I know you both need each other." Bella said sadly.

"I only need you, Darlin' and you are all I'm ever going to need!" I told her knowing that she was right.

Mom came to pick Ali up and seemed sad. Bella offered to have Ali stay over so Mom could focus on Edward. I did an internal happy dance when she agreed.

That evening we took Ali riding horses. Ali and Bella rode together and I couldn't help but think of how it used to be with Edward. I missed the brother from back then. I thought about this from his perspective and what I would do if I was in his place. I understood him fighting for her. I wanted to way back then but when I thought about how it would have made Bella feel I didn't. Maybe it was the wrong call. I can say with certainty that if I had decided to kick his ass I would have made sure that Bella wasn't anywhere near us. It wasn't until we returned to the house that I realized that I was humming our lullaby. Bella looked at me in concerned but remained silent. Ali was asleep so I took her so Bella could dismount and then handed Ali over.

I took my time grooming the horses and was calm by the time I walked in to the house. Bella was waiting on the couch for me.

"You ok?" she asked.

"Yeah, I was just thinking about my brother." I said softly sitting next to her and pulling her into my lap.

"You seemed upset." She whispered.

"Yeah, I was. Mom gave me something to think about. I don't know that I wouldn't have fought for you in his situation. I can guarantee you that if I was in his position and I had decided to fight that you wouldn't have been around." I told her.

"Even if you saw what he saw and flew into a blind rage?" She said.

"I hate it when you are probably right." I sighed.

"Go talk to him." She said, "I can see that you need to. Go make an appearance at his party, if for no other reason than to make your mom happy." She said.

"Fine." I said kissing her and walking on to the porch. I saw headlights coming up the drive and recognized Edward's car. I was instantly tense and heard Bella say she would be in our room. I locked the front door and met him at his car.

"I'm sorry! I know you told me never to come to the farm again but I can't deal with this! What is it going to take to fix this? I need my brother back." Edward said.

"I don't know." I said honestly.

"Jaz…Jasper I will do anything! I will stay away from Bells. You were my first friend here. You are still my best friend and I don't have many friends around here now." He said.

"I was going to come see you. I don't know if we can fix things between us. I good start is for you to stay away from Bella and this farm. You can call me and I will meet you somewhere. I do miss having my brother around but all has not been forgiven. You nearly killed her, Edward." I choked out the thought of what could have been hurt. We talked for a few more minutes and then he left. We text and called each other a couple of times. We met for coffee once but things weren't the same.

Soon it was time to pack and go back to school. I could see that Bella was going to miss home. She was worried about Diesel getting out and taking off. Bella's dad assured her that he would come out every morning and take care of her bratty horse.

Once things were packed and loaded into the truck she almost looked panicked. She was looking around sadly and everything she was leaving. I gave her time to wander around and finally she climbed in the truck. As we left the driveway I locked the gate so her escape artist couldn't get in to much trouble.

The drive seemed short as I described the neighborhood to Bella. We planned to run every morning and there was a little café on the corner that I knew Bella would love.

When we pulled into the driveway of our new home and she grinned and I was relieved to see that she didn't hate it. It took us only a couple hours to settle in. We were just about to go walking around when there was a knock at the door. When I answered the door Bree and Rylie were there with Raylen in a jogging stroller. I was surprised that they had come. They declined the fish fry invitation and seemed disinterested in us since our last visit.

"I hope you don't mind! We were jogging and saw that you were here." Bree said softly.

"Not at all!" Bella said brightly, "Jaz was about to show me around."

"Are you going to take her to the little café? " Bree gushed, "We were headed there."

"That sounds good." Bella said looking at me.

We crossed the street and Bree seemed to gravitate to me so Bella and Rylie visited and took the lead. I noted Rylie pointing out different things to her. He pointed to a bookstore that I knew she was going to love and that sold her children's books. He showed her a little antique shop that he said Bree loved. Then there was the Authentic Mexican restaurant that he said was his favorite place in town. I was glad when we got to the café so I could have Bella at my side again. Rylie had handed her Raylen who was giggling as she bounced around with him in her arms. We sat down and she started bouncing him on her knee. Bree took him when the menus arrived and looked alittle distressed as he kept reaching and calling to Bella. After we ordered Raylen won and he was sitting with Bella again. My sister looked less then thrilled. Bella and I played with my nephew until the coffee arrived. Bella pushed hers out of reach of chubby little hands. She talked to Raylen and he mimicked her. By the time Bree and Rylie finished their coffees Bree was ready to go. She said that she had a truckload of things she had to get done and they left rather quickly.

"She is still uncomfortable around me. I think you should take her to dinner just the two of you. Maybe giving her some one on one time will make her happy." Bella suggested.

"That's kind of you, Bella." I recognized mom's voice, as she appeared beside the table, "I just want to say I am sorry for that weekend. I had no right to judge you! I hope you can forgive me."

"Of course! Would you like to join us?" Bella invited.

"If you don't mind." She said sitting down, "How do you like our little town so far?"

"Well, I'm not really sure. We got here this morning. I like our little house and the park is amazing and has great jogging trails. So far it's good." Bella said.

"That's great. I'm glad you like it." Mom said, "Did Jasper show you the book store? It's neat! The owner is a friend of mine."

"Rylie pointed it out to me but I haven't been in it yet." Bella said.

"Do you have time now? I could introduce you to Laurent." She offered.

"Sure! Bella will frequent the bookstore I'm sure! Rylie said that they sold her books there.

"You write?" Mom asked excitedly.

"Just children's books." Bella said modestly.

"You're Isabella Swan?" She grinned as Bella nodded, "Those literally fly off of the shelves! Laurent will be excited to meet you."

"Shall we?" I asked.

We walked the short distance the little bookstore and Laurent stopped in his tracks, "Isabella Swan? I have The Isabella Swan Is my shop!" He gleefully grinned.

"Yes, Laurent! I brought my son Jasper and his girlfriend Bella to see you. She is new in town." She started.

"So my shop is the first book store you entered?" He said.

"Yes, it is. I have heard great things about it." Bella said.

"It is great to meet you!" He said, "So what are your plans?"

"Well, I am here so Jaz can finish his law degree and then it is back to the farm." She grinned.

"Well, would you be interested in a book signing or reading?" He asked, "I always wanted to do a story hour once a week."

"A story hour sounds like it would be a lot of fun. If you want to do it, mid-mornings would work best for me Tuesday through Thursday."

"That would be great! I will have a banner made. When do you want to start and how much do you want to do it?" He asked.

"Well next week is fine and I don't need anything for doing it." She said.

"Will Wednesday's at 10:30 work for you? There is a Mommy and Me class on Wednesday's next door from 9-10 and that would be perfect to draw in a crowd." He said.

"That sounds great! I will be keeping Jaz's baby sister and so I will be bringing Ali along." She told him.

"That sounds great! Vic, are you coming too?" he asked turning to my mom.

"Well, if it is alright with Bella?" Mom said looking for approval.

"Of coarse! It would be nice to get to know you." Bella said.

"If you have a day you don't keep Ali I would like to spend some time getting to know each other." Mom said.

"Thursdays and Fridays and free." Bella said, why don't we meet for coffee on those mornings?"

"That sounds like a plan." Mom said, "Will 830 work for you? I know Jaz runs every morning and I am guessing you will be running with him before class."

"That sounds perfect." Bella said.

By the time we got back home Bella's social calendar was filling up. Monday through Wednesday Bella was watching Ali. Wednesday she had her story hour and the bookstore, and Thursdays and Fridays Bella would be meeting my mom at the café. I only hoped my mom would behave.

We went to eat lunch and then grocery shopping where we ran into Rylie and Raylen. Rylie said Bree was at a yoga class. I guess mom usually watched Raylen but had called and cancelled today. I hoped Bree never found out why. She was already so jealous of Bella over me that I could only imagine her reaction if she knew that mom had cancelled to spend time with Bella and I.

When we got home Bree was sitting on our front steps. As we approached she asked Bella, "Can we talk?"

"Yeah." Bella said.

"Do you mind if we go walking?" she asked.

"I do! With the way you have treated Bella since you have meet her, I don't think I am comfortable with you speaking with her privately." I said firmly. I received an irritated look from my sister.

Then she said haughtily, "Maybe I should start with you!"

"I'm going to let you two talk." Bella said softly as she took my bags inside.

I waited until the door closed and then let my sister have it. "What is your problem? You act like a jealousy girlfriend. Bella has been nothing but nice to you and you have treated her terrible. You can either get over it and be my sister, who is happy that I found my soul mate or keep acting like you are and we can be acquaintances." I knew my words were harsh and by the look on her face those words had hurt Bree.

"I came to apologize to her." Bree whispered sadly.

"Then do it here. Until you build a friendship with Bella, you don't need to be alone with her." I said still irritated with her.

"Ok." She whispered, "Jasper, I'm sorry for the way I treated her and the way it made you feel."

"Then prove it. I will forgive you when I see that you are at least trying to be nice to her." I said walking into the house leaving the door open for Bree to follow.

"Jaz, please don't be hard on her." Bella said sadly, "What's done is done. Let's just move past it."

"I would like that." Bree said softly walking meekly into the kitchen, "Bella, I'm sorry. I am jealous because you got a life time with my brother that I will never get back but I am working on it."

"Bree, why don't you and Jaz have dinner together tonight. I know you have some catching up to do." She offered.

"I would love that but Rylie has a study thing at the library and can't watch Raylen." She said.

"I'll watch him for you." Bella said.

"You would do that?" She asked.

"Yes, I want you to have time with your brother. I know he missed you and I can guess how much you missed him." Bella said.

"Thank you!" Bree said as tears filled her eyes, "Jasper, are you ok with this?"

Bella gave me her signature-warning look that told me that I was going to go to dinner with my sister tonight and so I said, "Yeah, How about you and Raylen be here at 6."

"Thank you!" Bree said hugging me. She shook with silent sobs and I sat her on the couch with me. I looked down at her and saw the little sister I had lost all those years ago. I tucked her into my side and tried to sooth her. She cried hard for quite awhile. I was surprised to find that the more I tried to sooth her the more my emotions bubbled up and where out of control too and soon we where both crying on the couch. I held my sister for a long time.

It wasn't until I heard my mother and Bella talking that I looked at the clock and saw that it was 530. I heard the conversation between them. Mom was asking if we knew where Bree was. Rylie had called mom and needed someone to watch Raylen so he could study because he had no idea where Bree was. We heard Bella tell mom the Bree was visiting me and that she was going to watch Raylen tonight while we went to dinner.

"Do you want to go grab dinner?" Mom asked, "There's a little Chinese Place across the park that's great!"

"That sounds good to me. Let me run and grab my phone." Bella said as she quietly came in.

"Hay Jaz, I'm going to have dinner with your mom." She said as I followed her into the bedroom.

"Are you ok with that?" I asked softly. The first meeting with mom hadn't gone well and I was worried.

"I'm fine. We are actually getting along well. Have fun tonight!" She said kissing me goodbye. I watched her go and realized that the reason I was felling apprehensive is because I didn't want to be away from her. I sighed and grabbed my keys and headed back to where Bree was waiting.

At the restaurant I was still uneasy. Bree picked up on it and sighed, "Do I make you uncomfortable?"

"No, it's not you. It's just that Mom and Bella was having dinner and well, I'm worried that unsupervised that it won't go well." I said.

"That first meeting was my fault. I ranted and raved about Bella to mom. Mom came in to the situation armed with misinformation provided by me. Rylie has since spoken with her and told him his impression of Bella. Mom felt horrible about the whole thing. She is determined to make it up to Bella. Jaz, I'm sorry. I 'm trying to see her as the angel that the rest of you see but it's hard." She said softly.

"Why do you hate her?" I asked.

"I don't hate her!" Bree said.

"It sure seems like it." I said sadly.

"I know. I have the intention of coming over and renewing our friendship but then I get here and see the girl who got the childhood that I should have had. It makes me mad!" she said.

"Bella helped me through a lot. I was so depressed after you and mom left. It was the worst time in my life and she was right there, holding me together. She has been the one who has given me hope through it all. When I was ready to give up, there she was! She always made things seem possible." I said, "Even after everything she still pushes me to build a relationship with you and Mom. She could have been angry and resentful but it's not in her to be. She could have just let me choose not to see you all again but she knew how it would hurt all of us in the long run and she couldn't allow it."

"You wanted to give up?" she asked.

"I thought about it. Bree, I plan to marry Bella one day. She has been the one constant in my life. The one person I could count on to be in my corner no matter what. I was horrified by the way that she was treated. If not for Bella I would not be sitting here with you for so many reasons." I said.

"I'm sorry it was so bad for you. I'm glad you couldn't do it." She whispered.

"I'm just glad to finally have you back in my life." I smiled.

"Why wasn't dad there for you?" she asked.

"He was looking for you." I said, "I had Bella and Charlie but dad was consumed with finding you."

"I'm sorry." She said.

"It's in the past." I said needing to change the subject.

Our waitress came and took our order giving my sister a strange look. When she left I raised a brow at her and she giggled. "That is Rylie's ex girlfriend. I'm sure she is calling him now to tell him that I am with another man. She's so annoying. If the food wasn't so good we would never come in here. She doesn't work on Wednesday's and weekends so that's when we come or Ry sends me for take out."

"I see." I said as the waitress came back with our drinks.

"Well, this certainly isn't Rylie!" The girl said.

"No he's not, Olivia. This is my brother, Jasper." Bree said.

"Hum," She said looking at me closely, "Cute, single?"

"No. He has a girlfriend." Bree growled.

I chuckled at the reaction she got from Olivia.

"I hate her! If she tries to cause problems between you and Bella…" she started ranting.

I chuckled, "So you're protective of Bella's feelings now?"

"Jasper, I can see she makes you happy. Rylie said there is a huge difference in you from before you had her and now. If she did that for you I am grateful to her. I am trying to get past all of this." Bree said.

"I hope you can. She has missed her best friend for so long and she is still waiting to have her back." I said pointedly.

"I missed her too. I know this thing is stupid but when I see the relationship that you have with her it just reminds me that I don't have a relationship with you." She said.

"And we are changing that!" I pointed out.

"I know that!" She said.

When our food came out I ignored Olivia's advances until she left.

"Bree, did you have a happy childhood?" I asked.

"Yeah," She said but I wasn't convinced, "We did pageants and followed that circuit. It was like playing dress up everyday. I was home schooled since we were on the road so much. When I was 16 Mom finally let me stop and then I entered public school again. It was then that I met Rylie and fell hard. We have been together ever since then."

"I'm glad." I said.

"I'm sorry that you had it bad." She said.

"It wasn't all bad. After Charlie found out about the pills, he and dad had a long talk. Dad spent more time with me and I was included into all of Charlie's plans. We camped out a lot. There was riding, fishing, hiking, and a lot of swimming. Things got better then. Charlie constantly watched me. He even took me on some outings just him and me. I owe a lot to Charlie too." I told her.

"Maybe it would be easier to be friends with Bella if we build our friendship away from you. And I'm not just saying that to separate her for you so I can tear her apart. I genuinely would like to try." She said.

Bella POV (Starts with Dinner with Victoria)

Victoria and I took Raylen to the little Chinese buffet. We filled our plates and sat at a table by the window. I giggled as I watched Raylen start stuffing handfuls of rice into his mouth.

"He loves this place." Victoria chuckled.

"Bella, I want to thank you for being such a good friend to Jasper. Looking back on it all I would do so many things differently. I was so selfish then. I shouldn't have taken off like that. I never once thought of the consequences. I figured Jasper and Carlisle would just go on with their lives and I would be free." She said. I could see this was going to be one of those heavy conversations that we were getting out of the way. She was undoubtedly practicing on me so she could have this conversation with Jaz.

"There was a lot I didn't know about at the time. He always asked me not to say anything when I found him upset. My silence nearly killed him." I said softly.

"No sweetie, my selfishness did. I need to make this up to him. Bella, I know that I can't undo the past but is there a chance for a relationship in the future with Jasper? I know he seems uncomfortable when I am around." She said.

"It will take time to rebuild a relationship. There is a lot of pain and mistrust that Jaz will have to deal with but I think you two need each other." I said.

"I know I have a lot to answer for and I will take what ever he dishes out. I just want to get to know him." She said softly.

"Was he always sad? Were there any happy times?" She asked tears filling her eyes.

"There were good times too. The summer that dad took us camping all summer long was a turning point I think. Carlisle was home more and Dad spent a lot of time with him too. It wasn't long after that that Esme came into the picture. He adores her. She kind filled that void in him." I said

"You speak fondly of her." She noticed.

"Yes," I smiled, "Esme took me under her wing and became like a mother to me as well. I think she healed something in both Jaz and I."

"Well, I'm glad she was there when I was too selfish to be." She said dropping her gaze. I could see the shame she felt.

"Victoria, he will forgive you, given time. Jaz isn't one to hold a grudge." I said.

"Thank you. I know this is probably the last thing you want to talk about right now." She said.

"If it helps Jaz get his mom and sister back it's worth it all." I said.

"And you genuinely mean that!" She observed.

"I do. I would do anything to see Jaz happy. I love him." I said.

"I know you do. Bella, I see that you are good for him and I am glad he has you!" she smiled.

"Tell me the story of you and Jasper." She said.

"Well, Jaz was always over at the house because dad watched him while Carlisle was on call. We became best friends to stubborn and afraid to admit our true feelings ran much deeper that that. We spent every waking second that we weren't in school together until Jaz started High School and Baseball.

We still hung out but things were just different. I was in Junior High and he was in High School. I started tagging along with my cousin and he was in a different circle than Jaz. Jaz started dating someone and we grew alittle further apart. It wasn't until Jaz rescued me from a wild party that my cousin had dragged my too and left me at. I started tagging along with Jaz and his girlfriend after that and then Jaz started pushing her away and was using me to do it.

We were back to being best friends again joined at the hip. Then I started dating and Jaz hated it. He actually scared the guy off." I chuckled at the memory, "Then I met Jaz's step brother Edward. I started dating him and soon after Jaz left for college. I married Edward and he wasn't what I thought he was and when it ended Jaz decided to stop hiding his feelings. Edward threw a punch at Jaz and I ended up in the way. And you basically know the rest. You came into the story just after I was released from the hospital." I told her the short version of the story of us.

"You two have a long history together!" She said.

"We do. You know I have very few happy memories that he isn't part of!" I grinned.

We finished supper and walked back to the house. Victoria waved calling, "See ya, Wednesday!" as she pulled out of the drive.

I took Raylen into the house and rocked him while reading him a bedtime story. When the fell asleep I put him in Ali's Pack-n-play in the make-shift bedroom I had made out of our gigantic walkin closet that was just barely smaller than our bedroom and then grabbed my laptop and started working on my book until Rylie got there.

"They aren't back yet?" He asked.

"Not yet. Come on in." I offered.

He came in and checked on Raylen and then sat on the couch, "Did he give you trouble getting him to sleep?" He asked.

"Nope! I just read to him while I was rocking him and he crashed out in the middle of the second book." I smiled.

He looked shocked and said, "You're good with him usually there is hours of rocking, reading, singing, and begging him to go to sleep."

"He must have been really tired then." I said.

"Maybe. Are you working on another book?" he asked looking at my laptop sitting beside me.

"Always!" I chuckled, "I'm working on a book about bullies."

"That will be good. There needs to be more awareness about them. Bree was bullied in high school. That's how we met actually." He said. I looked up at him quietly and waited for his story. "Before Bree came to school there were rumors that there was a beauty queen going to be in classes. All the boys were excited and all the girls were vicious. When she came in half of the guys chased her while the other half of us were too afraid to talk to her. The girls hated her and tormented her. They humiliated her in front of everyone and took her self-confidence. The first day I met her was heartbreaking. She had walked into the cafeteria and the head bitch tripped her. She went sprawling into the floor wearing her food. Everyone laughed at her. I helped her up and got her some napkins to try to clean her up. She was covered from head to toe in BBQ sauce. I lived across the street so I took her to my house and gave her one of my t-shirts, a pair of moms jogging pants, and my letterman jacket." He smiled, "I asked her to be my girlfriend on the way back to school. We were inseparable from then on."

"That's awful. Did they keep tormenting her?" I asked.

"No. I kept her by my side through the rest of lunch. Word got around before the end of lunch that she was _My Girl_ and everyone backed off. I might have threatened to expose a few secrets that the cheer squad didn't want getting out. No one really messed with her after that day." He grinned.

"What were you like the God Father of the school or something?" I giggled.

"No just the captain of the football team and the all-state wrestling champion the year." He grinned, "I was treated like royalty at the school so she gained that same treatment as soon as they found out she was mine." He smirked as if remembering a story.

"The girl that tripped her?" I prompted.

"Olivia lost her popularity after that. Soon after that Bree replaced her as head cheerleader too." He said softly.

"Was she bullied then?" I asked.

"No, Bree wouldn't allow it. Olivia never realized the protection she received from Bree. Bree has a kind heart that's why I love her. She will always stand up for the ones who cannot stand up for themselves." He spoke so lovingly of Jaz's sister. "I can see that same kindness in you. Bree was unkind to you and still you continue to be kind to her."

"Jaz needs her and his mother. He has that chance to have a relationship with them now. Victoria has worked through her issues with me and at least Bree tolerates me so I am going to call that progress." I said, "Bree liking me is not a requirement for her to have a relationship with him."

We visited for about an hour before Bree and Jaz came in.

"Hi." Bree said shyly to me as she walked in.

"Hey." I said.

"So I was thinking we should meet for coffee tomorrow." Bree said.

"That sounds nice!" I said.

"Good. How about we meet at the coffee shop at 8?" She asked.

"Great! That will give me time to go jog with Jaz and then I can meet Esme to get Ali." I said.

"You are going to have Ali?" She asked.

"Yeah. I will have her until Wednesday afternoon. We will bring her back with us Sunday evenings and Esme will pick her up Wednesday's around 4." I said.

"You're leaving on the weekends?" Bree said in disbelief.

"Yes, we will go home on the weekends." I told here.

She looked distressed, "I figured we could get together of the weekends and get to know each other again." She said softly to Jaz.

"We can still get together. We will be coming back Sunday afternoon we could grill out then. We can also meet during the week for dinner too. I need to go back to the farm and check on things every week." Jaz said.

"You didn't use to go back." She said.

"That's because I had Bella looking after it. Now I don't." He told her.

"Maybe you could come with us sometimes! I know Carlisle would love to see you. Not to mention that Raylen already has his wrapped around his finger." I added.

"Yeah, maybe. I'm just not comfortable around Esme." She said.

Jaz sighed, "She's been nothing but nice to you."

"I know and I do like her. I just never know what to say to her. I know that it hurt her when I treated Bella badly that weekend." Bree said.

"She doesn't hold a grudge. Just be yourself and get to know her." I said.

"Well, see." Bree said.

After visiting way too late Jaz and I said good night to Bree and Rylie and went to bed. I lay there staring into the darkness listening to Jaz breathe.

"Are you still awake?" Jaz whispered softly.

"Yeah. I can't sleep." I said.

He pulled me into his arms and started kissing me. His hands were everywhere at once. I arched and bucked against him as we frantically stripped off clothing. We needed each other desperately. The night was a blur of intense pleasure. We collapsed tangled together in the sheets too tired to bother to move. We fell asleep clinging to each other.

That next morning came too early and we opted for round two instead of jogging. Two showers later I shooed Jaz out of the bathroom so I could get ready for coffee without temptation. After I was dressed Jaz took his turn in the bathroom. He had enrollment and orientation today so he had to leave the house early. After a kiss good-bye Jaz sprinted out the door and I headed to the café to meet Bree.

"You look nice today! I thought you were jogging with Jaz before coffee." Bree said.

"We slept in. He had college stuff to do and had a hard time getting up this morning." I said.

"I guess the neighborhood is brighter and louder than the farm, uh?" she said.

"Yeah. We just have to get used to it." I said.

"What are your plans for the day?" she asked.

"Well, I meet Esme as 9 then I thought maybe taking Ali to the park until lunch time then while she's napping I am putting the finishing touches on my bully books and sending it to the publishing company." I said. I smiled at the thought of finally finishing the bully books.

"You were writing two at once?" She asked.

"Kinda, I wrote two books on bullying. One for little guys and one for teenagers and up, I started with the little guy's book and then elaborated and got more in-depth with the older kids book. I had a lot of first hand experiences with bullying." I said.

"I think that book might help someone." She said quietly.

"I hope so. I remember feeling like I was inferior to the kids my age." I told her.

"Why didn't Jaz stop it?" She said sadly.

"It was the year that he moved up to high-school. I had always hung around with Jaz, my cousin Emmett, and Em's girlfriend Rose. When they moved up I had a target on my back. I never told them though." I told her.

"Wow. I was homeschooled til I was 16. When I started back the girls made it their mission to make my life hell. That is until I met Rylie. He saved me from them." She said. I remembered the story that Rylie had told but kept quiet. We talked about our lives after she left until it was time for me to go. We agreed to meet at the park and continue our conversation.

I jogged back to the house and beat Esme there by 5 seconds. Ali was happy to see me and chattered to me while I unloaded the jogging stroller and grabbed her bags. Once we were inside I took a minute to settle Ali's things. Esme jumped in putting things away. She knew were everything was as she had been visiting Jaz through his college years. We visited until ten when Bree knocked on the door.

"Hey Bree! Sorry I'm running late." I said.

"Good morning Bree. How are you?" Esme smiled warmly.

"I'm good. How are you?" Bree said.

"I'm ok. I'm just dropping my little Ali off for safe keeping." She said then stooped down to see Raylen, "I think he has grown two inches since last time I saw him.", then started cooing to him.

Bree swiftly unbuckled him and handed him to her, "Thank you!" Esme said, "This means a lot. I didn't think you liked me."

"It's not that. I want to get to know you! I just…" Bree paused.

"It's ok. Baby steps, we'll just easy into a friendship." Esme said in true Esme fashion knowing exactly what to say to put someone at ease.

"Thank you, I'd like that!" Bree said.

"Are you all coming back with Jaz and Bella this weekend? You can stay with us." She said.

"I'm not sure. Isn't Edward living with you? That would make for a very full house." Bree said. She knew that Edward had been in jail and why and wasn't comfortable with the idea of being anywhere near him.

"What happened to baby steps? There is room at the farm for Bree and Rylie. Raylen could take the nursery Jaz set up for Ali." I offered. Both looked at me Bree in relief and Esme in understanding.

"I'll talk to Rylie and see what he has planned for the weekend." Bree said.

"Great! I hope you will come down. Your dad would love to spend some time with you kids." Esme smiled, "I better get to work." She scooped Ali up and hugged and kissed her and then handed her over before she left.

"Thanks for the rescue there. I didn't want to say it but there's no way I am staying at their house with Edward there. Isn't he the man that put you in the hospital and went to prison?" She said.

"Ok! I need to tell you the whole story of Edward." I told her sitting down on the couch. I didn't want to tell this story in a public park. She settled Raylen in the floor with Ali to play and joined me.

"Edward isn't a dangerous man or particularly violent. The whole thing was more of two brothers fighting than anything else. Did Jaz tell you I was married to Edward?" she nodded, "Well the first day I saw him I was in lust. Besides Jaz, whom I thought I had zero chance with, he was the hottest guy I had ever seen. I struck up a conversation with him and we were an instant couple.

We dated through high school and he was the perfect sweet, loving, affectionate boyfriend. We married the summer after we graduated and things were great between us. I sold my first book and he started school. My book money was more than enough to pay our bills and send him to school. The house that we were supposed to rent fell through and long story short we rented the farm from Jaz.

Edward started working at the hospital and was home less and less and we started growing apart. Soon I found out that he was having an affair. The night Jaz came back home for summer break I caught him with her. He had called to say that he was working a double and would be home that next morning and was so busy he wouldn't even have time to eat so I brought him some. In the parking lot at the hospital with his baby sister on my hip I saw the two of them in his car kissing. She even tried to say that it was a misunderstanding. When I asked her if she was sleeping with him, he shielded her from me. I knew then that our marriage was over. So I divorced him.

Jaz stayed in a guestroom at the farm and refused my offers to move out. He even offered to stay with Carlisle and Esme." I smiled alittle thinking back, "He was there for me through it all. I had my best friend back. Only the old feelings resurfaced. I fought hard to keep them at bay but it wasn't easy. After a while I noticed little flirty thing that we were both doing subconsciously. One evening it was too much and I had to tell him how I felt. It was funny because he had the same idea that was when we laid everything out. We were too wrapped up in each other to realize Edward was anywhere near until he started pounding on the door like a wild man.

Jaz went to open the door not realizing that I was following him. He opened the door and side-stepped a punch. Edward punched me instead of Jasper and I fell back hitting an end table. The table was what did the biggest share of the damage to me. I woke up in the hospital to Jaz.

Edward was in county lock-up for the 3 months he served and took Anger management. It was really just a dispute between brothers that got out of hand. There is no reason for you to fear Edward. He has apologized to us and he keeps his distance from me like Jaz requested." I finished.

"Wow! So you're not afraid of him?" Bree asked.

"No, I'm not." I told her.

"But you go along with the 'Stay away from Bella rule'?" She said.

"One day Jaz will calm down about all of this and be more inclined not to freak out if Edward and I happen to be in the same room and the stay away from me rule will be dissolved but for now I am fine with the stay away thing, if it makes Jaz feel better." I said.

"I still don't care to meet him." She said.

"Form your own opinion of him. He's a good guy most of the time." I said.

"Yeah, just a crappy husband." She grumbled.

"He wasn't always a bad husband and I wasn't always the best wife." I said.

"So will you ever get married again?" She asked thoughtfully.

"When the time is right, I'm sure I will." I said.

"Translation: When Jasper asked me?" She giggled.

"Well, I hope he waits until we have been together a little while longer." I said.

"But would you say yes if he asked you today?" She smirked.

"Do you know something I don't" I asked.

"You are dodging the question." She prompted.

"Of course I would say yes! I see a future with him and there is no one else on this earth I have ever wanted more than Jaz." I said softly.

"I'm glad he has you." She said.

We lapsed into silence watching Ali and Raylen play. They were sitting beside one another playing each keeping a cautious eye on the other. After a while it was time for lunch and I invited Bree to stay. She helped with lunch and clean-up. She chuckled when she saw Ali's bedroom. Bree said good-by after Raylen was tucked into his stroller.

I finished the little bit of unpacking Jaz and I had left until Ali woke up. I took her to the park and sat her in a toddler swing and delighted in her squeals of laughter. When Jaz walked over I was amazed that it had gotten so late. He smiled and kissed me then took over pushing his baby sister.

"So how was your day?" I asked him.

"It was good. I think this last year is going to go by quickly. How was your day, Darlin?" He asked.

"It was great. After coffee with your sister she came home with me and we visited with Esme. Bree stayed the morning. She may come back with us this weekend. If they do they will stay at the farm. Bree isn't crazy about staying in the same house as Edward." I said.

"I don't blame her there!" He said, "I was thinking of taking you and Ali out to dinner tonight."

"That sounds good." I said. We took Ali home and headed to dinner. I had to be careful not to think of Ali as my daughter. That dream messed with my head. At bed time I put the sweet baby girl down thankful for the time I got with her. I missed rocking her to sleep every night. I knew this was the best possible outcome though. I was glad that Esme was ok and that Carlisle wasn't crazy.

When I finally came to bed Jaz looked over at me and said, "You miss your dream, don't you?"

"Yes. I honestly do. I was her mom for seven years and I miss Carly and Garrett too. I know I sound crazy! I love the time I get to spend with Ali! I plan to be the Best Aunt ever!" I said.

"We could start working on a Garrett or Carly. By the time I finish school we could be welcoming a new baby into the world." Jaz said pulling me into a hug.

"Jaz, we aren't married. Our families would be disappointed." I said, "Not to mention that you always said you wanted to establish your career first."

"Can't I change my mind?" He grinned.

"I still want to be married first. Maybe enjoy our honeymoon." I smiled back, "What brought this on?"

"Darlin' I want everything with you. I can't wait to see you pregnant, to put my hands on your cute little belly and feel our baby squirming and kicking. I want to hold our baby and count fingers and toes, to brag about our little genius. Let's get married over the Christmas break and we can take a honeymoon then." He said looking into my eyes, "Merry me, Bella!" he took my hand and slipped a ring on my hand.

I couldn't see the ring through the tears. I nodded furiously. I couldn't find my voice. I knew that eventually he would ask me to be his wife but I still got choked up. I finally found my voice and repeated, "yes" over and over until he cut me off with a kiss. That night we made love slowly and slept in each other's arms tangled is sheets.

The next morning we went for a run with Ali sleeping in the jogging stroller and then had breakfast. Jaz had late classes so we had a little more time than usual. Tuesday was a blur. I stayed in and just admired my ring. It was my mother's ring. I could almost feel her with me today so I just sat and enjoyed her presents. I imagined her staring at the ring as I was.

Wednesday after jogging and coffee, I called dad and told him my news. He was happy for me. We talked about mom and his proposal to her. I told him that I could almost feel mom here with me. He told me she would be so proud. He told me about her watching Jaz. She had always told him that he would be the one to take care of her baby. He said that she always knew certain things and that if she said that something was going to happen that you could bet that it would come to be. After the conversation I hung up and whispered, "Thanks, mom!" I smiled happy to know that she knew that I would be alright long after she was gone.

When it was time to go read at the book store I dressed Ali in a cute little sundress and a light jacket and threw on a pair of jeans and a tank top and shrugged on my jacket. Then Ali and I headed out the door. I settled onto a beanbag chair once I was at the book store with Ali perched on my lap. I would be reading Ali and Jaz's story today. I read the story and then told alittle about Jaz and Ali. After signing books and visiting with parents and children I took a snoring Ali to the house. Victoria brought takeout from the Chinese restaurant and we ate with Jaz. We showed his mom the ring and told her the news. She was happy for us. That evening we showed Esme the ring and called Carlisle. Finally we met Bree and Rylie for dinner.

We arrived at the restaurant before them and I fidgeted in beside Jaz. I was nervous about telling Bree.

"Just relax. It will be ok!" Jaz said squeezing me hand. By the time Bree and Rylie arrived I was a wreck. It took Bree all of three seconds to notice that something was up.

"What's going on? Bella are you ok? You look like you're going to be sick." Bree asked.

"I…uh…Yeah! I'm ok." I said trying to smile. She raised an eyebrow at me. Jaz chuckled and held up our joined hands. Bree's eyes focused on the ring and her breath caught.

"You're getting married?" She asked incredulously, "You haven't been together long enough to be getting married."

"Bree, I have known Bella all of my life and loved her for just as long. I invited you here because I wanted you to celebrate with us. It would mean a lot to me to have you here with me as I celebrate a new beginning in my life but if you can't be happy for me then you and Rylie enjoy dinner on me and Bella and I will go home." Jaz said.

"Congratulations!" Rylie said hugging me and then Jaz. Bree smiled and said a quiet less enthusiastic, "Congats." She was pleasant but quiet all evening. We visited with Rylie and enjoyed dinner.

Once we got home I fell into bed exhausted after all the worry and stress of the evening. I was alittle disappointed that Bree had decided not to come back with us this weekend and was even more upset that she cancelled our morning coffee plans until further notice. I knew she needed time but it still hurt. I finally had my best friend back and wasn't able to share my joy with her. That next morning I went running with Jaz and then came home and cleaned house. By the time Jaz got home I had everything packed for tomorrow evening and supper ready. After supper Jaz and Rylie had study group and he got home after I was in bed.

Friday morning we decided to forego the run and eat a home cooked breakfast together. After breakfast I kissed Jaz bye and went grocery shopping. I was shocked when I can home to find Bree on my door step. I grabbed my groceries and walked past her without a word leaving the door opened. I put my groceries away and then starting cleaning up the kitchen from breakfast. Bree stood in the doorway and I was intent on her making the first move. After the dishes were washed and dried I started cooking chicken for lunch.

"Can we talk?" Bree finally said.

"Yeah, we can talk. Is there anything to say? I am marrying the love of my life and my best friend is pissed about it. That pretty much sums it up. Bree nothing you say is going to change my mind. I love Jaz and we have wasted so much time already." I said.

"I'm sorry. I know I'm not being fair to either of you. I am trying to come to terms with all of this. I just need time." She said.

"I understand that." I said.

"I need to get going." She said walking out.

I didn't follow her out or even say goodbye. That evening Jaz and I discussed her talk. Jaz was upset because she wasn't accepting his choice. I told him that she would come around but I wasn't quite sure when. We enjoyed a quiet dinner and then jumped it the car and headed for the sanctuary of the farm.

I sat back and watched as the land marks slipped by. Jaz was in a hurry to get back to apparently because he was exceeding the speed limit by quite a bit. I cringed as I saw the red and blue flashy lights in the rear view. I groaned and started gathering our insurance and registration for the officer.

"Good Evening, Officer!" Jaz cheerfully greeted as he handed him his license and registration.

The officer was gruff as he took it. "Do you have any idea how fast you were going?"

"I'm sorry officer was I speeding?" Jaz asked innocently.

"Yes, you were! What's your hurry?" He huffed.

"Well, Sir! I just asked this wonderful woman to marry me and she said yes. I was so excited to get her home to momma I just wasn't watching my speed." Jaz bubbled. I internally rolled my eyes. Jaz had been stopped so many times it was sad but he had never gotten more than a warning. After looking at my ring and telling us Congratulations and Jaz to SLOW DOWN! He let us go.

Jaz was chirpy and happy. I rolled my eyes and huffed, "If I had been driving I would have gotten a huge ticket."

"I know! You are too honest!" He chuckled.

The rest of the drive Jaz watched his speed and we arrived at home around 7 pm. Jaz carried our stuff in while I scolded Diesel for the hoof prints in my flower bed and the porch. Jaz chuckled as I led the massive horse back to the pasture telling him that the flowers were for decoration not a snack! Once Diesel was back where he belonged I headed back to the porch.

"Do you think your heart to heart take will save the rest of the flowers?" He chuckled.

"Probably not!" I sighed, "I think he's bored."

"Maybe so." I said watching the horses frolic and play.

We sat on the porch and watched the sun slip out of sight. I had missed the sunset. The streaks of brilliant gold, purple and pink didn't disappoint! They were gorgeous as usual!

We headed inside and up to bed. This was a favoring pastime for Jaz and I. We did sleep better when we were completely spent. We were awakened by the sun peeking through the clouds and Jaz muttered, "It's almost nine."

"Well we were extra tired!" I grinned thinking about the acrobatic moves that we had tried last night.

"Yeah! We earned alittle extra sleep didn't we?" he said kissing my bare shoulder.

We lay tangled together until we heard cars pulling up. There were 6 doors slamming and I could hear Dad, Esme, Carlisle, and Harry talking, Steph laughing, and Ali's excited squeals. I stretched and groaned my muscles were sore. Jaz grinned a knowing grin and pulled on his jeans and a t-shirt then told me to take my time and come down when I was ready. I made my way to the shower and let the hot water loosen up my muscles. After my shower I felt alittle better. Still alittle stiff but nothing I couldn't handle. I wove me hair into a thick braid and then slipped on a sundress paired with a light jacket and a pair of cowboy boots that Jaz had bought for me then headed down stairs. I was delighted to see everyone sitting around the kitchen table. Esme and Steph had coordinated and brought breakfast in celebration of Jaz and My engagement.

We laughed and talked and enjoyed the morning until Morning turned to afternoon. Rose and Emmett showed up that afternoon and Rose gave us a heartfelt congratulations. Em's congratulation was a little less than genuine but I let it go. At least he wasn't having a fit about it. Jaz invited them to stay with us while they were here and Emmett revealed that Rose had been transferred here and that he was starting a construction company here. They were going to be house hunting and moving this week then Rose would start working the following week. Emmett was finishing up classes and then he was going to start looking for work as a contractor. There weren't any construction companies around local. I thought about suggesting that he start a handyman service here. There were countless people that needed repairs done in town but there was no one here to do them.

We enjoyed the day and finally around 2 people started trickling out until finally it was just us and Emmett and Rose. We all sat down in the livingroom and Jaz offered the farm to them until they found a place. I remembered the neighboring farm was for sale and the dream came back alittle too.

"You know the old farm house down the road is for sale. It may take some work but living here rent free for a while would give you a little extra money to spruce it up." I suggested.

"The outside looks sturdy!" Emmett said, "Do you know who owns it?"

Jaz called Harry and found that the old place was co-owned by a brother and sister and they were motivated to sell because it had been a 4 year headache to them. They were both big city folks and when their parents went into the nursing home they hadn't put the house on the market until both of their parents had passed on but there was no maintenance done on the place and the place was showing the wear and tear of the years without proper care. We drove over to the house and called the number for the real estate agent. Emmett made an appointment then we walked around the place. Emmett loved the huge metal shop building with a cement floor. It was missing some tin on the roof but it was in fairly good shape. The house came with the rest of the mile section that Jaz's home was on. Rose said that they didn't need all of the land and I was shocked when Jaz Said that he would buy it. So either the kids would split up the land and the house or Jaz would buy the land from them.

The Agent said that normally he didn't do appointments on Sunday's but since this property had been sitting for 4 years that he was willing since there were two potential buyers. By the time Sunday afternoon rolled around Emmett and Rose had signed a contract on the house and Jaz had signed a contract on the land. We told the realtor we would be back next Friday to deal with the bank on the land and then Jaz called around and had someone coming to bale it for hay. He told me that when he sold the hay he would have six months of land and house payments made. He also planned to get cattle and raise and sell beef. I was a little worried that he had bitten off more than he could chew.

Sunday evening while Jaz was giving Em and Rose a spare key and talking Em about the particulars of the land I went to pick up Ali. I knocked on the door and was surprised when Edward answered.

"I was just about to call Jaz. Mom had to run Ali up to say goodbye to Carlisle at work. She thought she would be back before you got here." He said, "I'll call her and see where she is." HE left the door open and I struggled with weather or not to follow him in. I knew that he wouldn't hurt me but I also knew that Jaz wasn't comfortable with me being near Edward. I paused for a moment and then decided it was ridiculous to just stand there so I walked in and closed the door. I made my way to the couch where I would wait until Ali and Esme got back.

"She's on her way back." Edward said standing in the doorway of the livingroom staring at me. "Won't Jasper be upset with us being alone together?"

"I know he worries about a repeat of what happened last time but…" I started.

"Bella, I would never have hurt you on purpose. It kills me that I hurt you." He choked out.

Our conversation was cut off by Jaz and Em busting in the door. Edward was yanked out of the doorway and pinned against the wall by Em and Jaz was at my side.

"Are you Ok?" Jazz worried over me.

"I'm fine! Em, Let him go. I came in to wait for Esme and Ali." I growled irritated that they took their overprotectiveness to this level of insanity.

Em looked to Jaz and then let go of Edward. I was surprised at Edward. He calmly walked over and sat in the chair opposite Jaz and I. Em stalked over and sat on the other side of me still glaring at Edward.

"I was just wondering if you would be upset with her and me alone." Edward said calmly looking Jaz square in the eye.

"I would rather you not be anywhere near her ever again." Jaz glowered.

"This is so stupid!" I burst out, "He's not going to hurt me! He is your brother Jaz. We are going to run into each other quite frequently. I would like for it not to be so awkward! I stood on the doorstep of a house that I have felt at home in all of my life for the first time ever today wondering what I should do. Jaz, you have nothing to worry about. He won't hurt me and I will not cheat on you."

"I'm not trying to cause problems." Edward said to Jaz, "It felt rude to close the door but it didn't feel right telling her to come in either. I am sorry. I didn't know what to do."

"I guess we should all talk but I …I don't know!" Jaz said, "In my head I know you won't hurt her but the irrational side of me panicked today!"

"In the future we will handle things like this, we won't seek each other out but we won't avoid each other if we see the other. We are all adults here." I said hoping that Jaz would be alright with this.

"That sounds fine." Jaz said squeezing my hand.

"Hey, Congratulations on your engagement, by the way." Edward said sadly, "I wish you both the best. You deserve to be happy."

Thank you Edward." I said seeing that as much as it hurt him to say he truly meant it.

"That means a lot to hear from you." Jaz said smiling at his brother, "I want you to know that none of this was done to hurt you."

"I'm gona go! This love fest is making to ill!" Em said hurrying off. He hadn't forgiven Edward and I didn't know if he ever would.

"He still hates me. I think he was looking forward to kicking my ass." Edward joked.

"That was his plan." Jaz said honestly, "But seriously Edward, Bella and I didn't mean for this to hurt you."

"Jasper, when I asked Bella out the first time it was solely to hurt you. I could see how you felt about her and I was so messed up and hurting over dad sending me to live with mom that I needed to hurt someone else. I liked her after the first date but what spurred me on to ask her out again was seeing the hurt that it caused you. Looking back on it all, I am ashamed! I hate the hurt that I caused you when I chewed you out for hurting her and made you go talk to her and then when I ask you to be my best man. I am appalled that I was so cruel to you. I loved her but I also loved that it was killing you to know that I was with her. I'm sorry! You are my brother and I intentionally took the one person you cared for most and used her against you." Edward said to Jaz hanging his head. I was so angry in that moment I wanted to scream at him and I probably would have if Jaz hadn't have started talking.

"I almost tried to steal her a couple times." Jaz said.

"But you were too decent a guy to do it. Jaz I …" he started.

"Edward, it's just water under the bridge. I know that Bella is safe and our relationship is secure. Maybe we can have a less awkward relationship given time." Jaz said.

"Next question is how to handle the wedding. Do you want to be invited or …" Jaz asked.

"I'll come to your wedding. Just please don't ask me to be your best man." He joked half heatedly.

"It would serve you right if he did. That was a shitty thing to do, Edward! You used me! If I had known…You're an asshole!" I sputtered so mad I couldn't contain my rage. It was that moment that Esme walked in and Ali learned a new word and I felt terrible.

"Well, that's just great! Can you all take your fight and potty mouths elsewhere?" Esme said firmly.

"We were just leaving." Jaz said scooping up Ali and Edward grabbed her things while I fled to the car.

"I'll fix this! Once I tell her what I told you she will understand." Seeing my face Edward said softly, "Don't worry Bella. I promise I will fix this!"

On our drive back home Ali repeated the word several times only making me feel worse. I tried to get her to change it to APPLE but nope! She hissed out the S's and the word was as clear as day. Jaz laughed and though it hilarious.

The week passed quickly. By Wednesday I did have Ali saying Apple instead of Asshole to my relief. I apologized again to Esme for my slip and she smiled and told me that she understood. The rest of the week flew by and soon it was Friday morning and we were headed home. Jaz had talked to his professors and they were recording their lectures for him. The bad part was that we were going to be leaving home Saturday morning to head back so Jaz could listen to his lectures and have his notes ready for Monday's classes.

We met the Real estate agent at his office and Jaz signed the Loan papers and wrote a check for the down payment. I sat watching the exchange wondering how Jaz was going to afford all of this but kept quiet. Jaz was very level headed and thought everything through. After we left the bank he called to have the hay cut. As we drove back home he was watching me.

"You're too quiet. What are you worried about?" he said reaching for my hand.

"How are you affording all of this?" I asked, "I know your mom gave you a pretty sizable bank account but is it that big?"

He smiled and said, "I should have discussed this purchase with you. I'm sorry! I do have money in my savings that I am making payments on the farm and now this land. I am going to sell the hay and buy cattle and put the rest in that account. I am going to raise and sell beef cattle to pay for the place. There is plenty of money as long as we don't just go crazy. I will show you the records when we get home."

"Jaz, you don't have to do…" I started.

"Bella, you are going to be my wife and what's mine will be yours too. I will have no secrets from you." He said parking in the drive way.

I have to admit going over the finances did make things better. I didn't realize just how much money that Jaz had. He could have almost bought both places out right. He said that once he finished college and was established in town and we had a steady income besides mine that he would pay both loans in full. Jaz was financially stable.

We ate lunch and then rode horses checking out the new land. They had already started cutting the hay. Jaz and I found two more ponds and on the back edge of the new land there was the place were more of our childhood memories were created, The Bluffs. I smiled at Jaz and he grinned at me. I knew the Bluffs was close to our house but didn't realize just how close. Jaz opened that gate and I rode through. We rode the trails that we had walked as kids and then headed back to the house.

Emmett was the first to arrive home. He looked so tired. He had been burning the candle at both ends since the move. They had stored all of their things in the metal shop building at their new place. Emmett was working hard to get the house livable but until then they were staying at the farm. Some many people had hired Em to do jobs that he had started working on their house in the morning and working for other people in the afternoons. Rose was getting irritated with him because of this. Rose arrived home first and was tense to say the least.

"Hey Rosie!" Jaz greeted cheerfully, "How's things going?"

"Don't even ask! Em is just taking his sweet ass time on the house. He can't tell anyone no or wait so he's not getting anything done on our house." She huffed.

"I'm getting plenty done on our house!" Emmett thundered as he came in, "I get up at 5 am to go work on the house until 1 then I grab a sandwich and start taking PAYING jobs. Don't you like money? You sure know how to spend it!"

"Why can't you put them off? Just until the house is done." Rose yelled inching closer to his face.

"You need to crawl off Rose!" Emmett said storming toward the door. I looked at Jaz and mouthed 'Go with him'

Rose walked into the couch sobbing. I sat next to her and noticed the E.P.T. box sticking out of her purse that she scrambled to hide.

"Rose?" I asked.

"Oh Bella this is just terrible timing! Before my transfer we were trying to get pregnant but couldn't. Now, everything is so messed up. I just started a new job and Emmett lost his. Now with him working on the house we are fighting all the time. Bella this couldn't be worse!" She wailed.

"Rose, calm down. First you need to take the test. This transfer and you buying the house in perfect! You and Em will have your house finished and moved in well before the baby is due and Emmett is getting a lot of clients who need his construction kown-how. He's just tired and needs to have some time to rest." I reasoned with her handing her the test.

She took it and headed for the bathroom and I text Jaz to calm Emmett down and bring him home. I heard a sob from the bathroom and knocked on the door.

"Rose?" I asked and she opened it. There was two lines acrossed the test window. Rose was pregnant. She sat on the tub crying. "Come on! Let's go down stairs and talk." I comforted her. We headed to the couch. She was still clutching the test. I handed her a box of tissue as she sobbed.

"How are we ever going to make it?" Rose bawled, "I've been so moody lately. I just get so mad I feel like I'm going to explode and then I do, at Emmett. I wouldn't be surprised if he left me." She sobbed.

"Rose, Emmett loves you. He's not going to leave you.

"He left didn't he? He is doing that more and more lately." She sobbed. I heard the guys come in a few minutes later and Emmett's footsteps running to us at the sound of Rose crying.

"Baby, I shouldn't have left like that." He said sitting beside her. She flung herself into his arms sending the test clattering to the floor. Emmett hugged her tight then his eyes focused on the test, "Rosie? Are you?" He looked at the test and a giant smile crossed his face, tears filled his eyes.

I left the house giving them their private moment. Jaz was waiting on the porch.

"Is she alright?" he asked, "Emmett said that the stress is getting to her."

"She's fine." I said, "They are both going to be fine. Rose is pregnant." I whispered.

"That's great. Em said they had been trying for a while now and had given up." Jaz said grinning.

"Let's go for a drive." I said wanting to give Em and Rose some time.

We were halfway to the car when Emmett yelled excitedly, "Get you asses in here. We need to celebrate!"

We headed back into the house to find Emmett cradling Rose. She had a worried smile on her face not nearly as exuberant as Emmett's huge smile. She was still scared of the timing. We celebrated their news quietly at home over Beef Fajitas and Cheesecake and by the end of the night Emmett had put Rose's fears to rest and she was just as bubbly as he was. It was odd to see Rose this way! In high school she was the "Mean Girl", as an adult she was very practical and was often irritated by Em's excitable, childlike nature! It was quite natural to see Emmett bubbly and bouncy as that was just him. The next morning after one more round on congratulations to Em and Rose, we picked up Ali and headed back home.

Jaz was quiet on the ride back. He was deep in thought occasionally looking over at me. I finally couldn't take it anymore!

"Jaz, What are you thinking about?" I asked.

"Your dream," He said looking over at me, "I have been having dreams about us and our kids ever since you told me about it. Is it possible to miss someone you never knew?" He asked softly, "I don't feel complete, then with Rose being pregnant, I was wishing it was us with baby news."

"Jaz," I began hesitantly, "I do want a baby with you. There is nothing I wound love more then to get pregnant today but I just want you to follow your dream of being a lawyer first. If we have a baby now that limits you."

"Is that the only reason?" Jaz asked. I nodded and he grinned, "I already have a job with Jenks and Masen. I have that dream cinched up. I want to work on my most important dream now."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Is that a yes?" He grinned looking over at me.

"If you're sure this is what you want then yes but I want to be married first." I said.

"We could live your dream and have a secret wedding? We could elope next weekend! Maybe take Em and Rose as our witnesses." He said breathlessly.

"Your mom is going to be pissed." I said.

"But you would?" he asked.

"I will marry you this weekend but let's do it at the farm so we can have everyone there! I say we invite everyone to a barbeque/wedding on Saturday." I said.

"Ah! So mom won't have time to plan a huge party. I love it and telling mom over the phone is smart. She can't reach us!" He grinned.

"You get to call your mom! Tell her it's just a simple gathering with friends and family. " I giggled.

"Yeah! Throw me to the wolves why don't ya!" He grinned playfully.

When we got home Jaz carefully put Ali in her room and took me to bed. He said we were practicing as he tossed the box of condoms in the trash. I giggled at his excitement. An hour later we were lying in bed exhausted. He ran his fingers lightly across my stomach grinning.

"I can't wait to see our little girl with your eyes and smile." He mused.

"Or boy!" I chuckled.

"Actually if we had a boy first he could protect our daughter." Jaz smiled. I grinned seeing the tender look on his face as he watched his fingers gliding along my skin. We lay there until we heard Ali stirring. I dressed in a pair of yoga pants and a tank top while he slipped into some shorts and grabbed Ali. We spent the afternoon playing with Ali. That evening after Ali went to bed we started making our calls starting with Esme. Jaz had the phone on speaker and set it on the table between us. It rang three times and then she answered.

"Hey Mom!" Jaz said cautiously.

"Jasper Whitlock, what did you do! You only use that tone when you have done something you know I won't be happy about!" She worried, "Is it Bella?"

"No, Esme! Everything is fine!" I said.

"Then Spill it, Jaz!" she sighed.

"Well, Bella and I have been talking and we decided not to wait until Christmas Break to get married. We are going to get married nest weekend at the farm and after the very small ceremony we will have a barbeque." Jaz rushed out.

There was a deafening silence on the other end of the line. Esme was eerily quiet like the calm before a storm then Esme exploded!

"Why? I want to give you a gorgeous ceremony. The church, the gown, the cake!" She ranted, "What's this really about? …Oh my God! Bella's pregnant!"

"No but we want to start working on a family! Why should we wait? We know exactly what we want and there's no reason to wait! Bella wants to be married before we start working on a family and so that's what we are doing!" Jaz said gripping my hand.

"Why the rush? You have all the time in the world! Do you really want to rush into something?" she said in a softer tone.

"Mom, Bella has always been my dream, marrying her and starting a family will be a dream come true. It's the only one that ever mattered! If I could have one of my dreams come true it would be her! It will always be her! Mom, please just be happy for us! Bella has her eye on a dress and we are thinking hamburgers and hotdogs for the barbeque. Nothing fancy!" Jaz said.

"Fine! We will do a small family barbeque at the farm but we are having steak not burgers! Can I have a cake made for you all too?" She said resigned to the small gathering.

"Jaz and I were thinking strawberries and cheesecake." I said grinning at him as he cocked his eyebrow at me for my fib. I knew that he loved Cheesecake and strawberries so although we hadn't discussed it we would have.

"That sounds good. I will get Ang, on it right away! What would you think about milk chocolate and white chocolate drizzled over the top on the berries and cake?" She asked getting excited.

"That sounds great, Mom!" Jaz smiled. We smiled at each other while she went on and on about sirloin steak and baked potatoes. She stopped and told us she would talk to us later then we heard Edward's voice saying that it was ok but she still ended the conversation.

I called Dad and Rose and Jaz called his mom and Pop's then headed to the bedroom to call Edward. I knew this was awkward for them both any I truly hoped that they could get their brother relationship back. I started to get things ready for the week. After his conversation with Edward Jaz was quiet, we settled onto the couch and he said, "He said he is happy that we are happy but he just can't be there for the wedding. I told him that was fine. He's agreed to come to the barbeque." Jaz toyed with my fingers and then said, "I just have to figure out how to tell Bree without her freaking out." He sighed.

"Are you telling her in person or just calling her." I asked thoughtfully.

"I'm calling her." He sighed reaching for his phone.

I laid my head on his shoulder and listened.

"Hello, Ry!… Is Bree home? … Oh-Ok … Well, Bella and I are getting married next Saturday at the farm. It's just going to be a small informal wedding followed by a barbeque…I was calling to invite you all…OH OK Hi Bree. ...Yes, I understand that you need time but you can't expect everyone to put their lives on hold because you don't like the fact that time has moved on…If you want to come it the wedding will start at 11 in the morning followed by a barbeque if not see ya around." He finished hanging up and tossing his phone on the coffee table. It immediately started ringing again. He just watched it as Bree's number flashed on the screen.

"If you don't want to see her in person then you need to answer it." I said. He leaned forward and handed it to me, "I'm going for a run tell her I'm not home."

He kissed me softly and picked up my phone as he headed out the door.

I took a deep breath and answered his phone, "Hello" I said irritated.

"Where is he?" she huffed.

"He needed some air. He went out for a while." I said.

"And left his phone? You're lying!" She huffed hanging you on me. I braced myself for her arrival and ten minute later she was banging on the door. I rolled my eyes and let her in. She called for Jaz and woke Ali up. When I went to get her she followed me. I ignored her and focused on getting Ali back down. After Bree searched the house and I had put Ali back down I stormed back into the living room and growled, "Porch Now!"

After we were on the porch I unleashed my fury I had been holding on to since she verbally attacked me that first day, "Bree, I have had it! I am sick of this. There are limits Bree and you have reached them! I have bit my tongue and played nice but this has got to stop! If you don't like me fine! If you are against Jaz and I getting married, fine! I really don't care anymore! I have dealt with the fact that you and I will never be friends. Bree, you will not come over here pounding on my door like a lunatic! You will not enter my house screaming! And you will never again search my house! You will enter my home only when invited and then I will stay in the livingroom unless otherwise invited into other part of the house. You are not required to like me but you will keep a civil tongue in your head or do not speak to me at all. Jaz is not here so you have no reason to be here!" I said walking back into the house and closing the door to see Jaz standing in the livingroom staring at me.

We heard Bree crying on the porch and I feared that Jaz would be upset with me but he wasn't. He called Rylie and told him exactly what happened and told him that he needed to come get her.

I sat on the couch beside Jaz waiting for everything to sink in.

"I'm proud of you." Jaz said in a low voice. I looked up at him and he continued, "You stood up for yourself!"

"I was so angry and was so harsh with her. I was afraid you would be upset with me!" I said sadly with tears in my eyes, "I let go of the hope of us being friends, tonight."

"She needs to back off." He said holding me tight. I cried softly into his chest. I had held out hope that Bree and I would be friends again for so long. Today I closed that door and there was a deep feeling of loss. I knew that Bree had been lost to me years ago and I had grieved that loss. But I think this since of loss was worse. At least before we found her there was still a sliver of hope but now, all hope had faded and the finality of it was wrenching. I must have cried myself to sleep because when I woke up that morning I was in bed wrapped in Jaz's arms. I squeezed him and he smiled sleepily at me.

"Mornin' Darlin' how are you?" He asked softly.

"I'm good." I said.

"Why don't you go take a shower and I'll take care of breakfast." He said.

"Ok." I said kissing him and then heading for the shower feeling alittle better than I had last night. Since Jaz had to make up Fridays classes after breakfast he headed to the library. I took Ali walking and then met Victoria for lunch. She was excited about the wedding and offered to shop with me. After lunch I showed her the knee length sundress that I wanted. She loved it. She helped me find a turquoise necklace and earrings. We also found the cutest cowboy boots with turquoise and silver trim but they were too expensive to justify buying since I had a nice pair of brown boots that would go nicely with the dress. Victoria offered to hide my outfit and bring it to the farm Friday evening. I thanked her and handed over my bags. After that I took Ali to the park and played with her ignoring the fact that Bree was sitting on my front steps acrossed the street. I played with Ali til almost bedtime and bought Ali out for a corndog for supper then crossed the street.

"Hi" Bree said sounding unsure of herself.

"Jaz isn't here!" I said unlocking the door.

"Um, yeah, I know." She mumbled.

"Do we have to do this now? I have had a really good day and I really want it to stay a good day!" I snapped.

"Um, Y-yeah, Uh_ sure. I'll just go." She said softly standing to leave.

I sighed and said, "Wait! Come in." leaving the door open behind me.

"Thank you for seeing me. I'm not here to cause trouble. Rylie came to get me last night after I saw you. He and I had a long talk about my behavior and how it needed to change." She said looking up at me, "I know I have been childish. There was more than me just being jealous of you and Jasper. I hear how my father talks about you and see the relationship that you have with him and know that I will never be as close to them as you are! I know that's stupid. I want to be friends with you but I just can't live up to you." She said.

"Bree, I don't understand. What are you trying to say? Let me put Ali down for a nap and we'll talk." I said needing to buy myself a minute to think.

When I came back she was sitting on the couch. She continued when I sat down.

"Bella, I see you, an accomplished author and according to everyone the salt of the earth, selfless, and generally wonderful and I know that I will always be this, a selfish, spoiled stay at home mom who will never be as good as you are. My own husband thinks better of you." She said sadly. "I have pushed him too far this time. Rylie took Raylen and went to stay with his mom. He told me when I grow up then they will come home. I know he's right. I do need to grow up and quit acting like a bitch. Bella, have you really given up on us being friends?"

"Bree, I don't know. I would like to be friends but it hurts too much to keep wishing for something that you clearly had no interest in. Is this really because you want to be friends or is this because you want Rylie back?" I asked.

"Both. I do want to be friends. I know I have said that before but never followed through with actually being a friend. I can't fix things with Rylie right now but I can fix us if it's not too late." She said.

"It's never too late." I said hoping I wasn't opening myself up only to be shot down.

"Mom said you went shopping today and found your dress. I hope you don't mind, I was at her house when she got home. It's pretty." Bree said.

"I don't mind. Are you going to come to the wedding? It would make Jaz and I happy." I said extending the olive branch.

"Yes. I will catch a ride with mom. I know that Rylie and Raylen will be there." She said.

"Do you want to get take-out and watch a movie? We could have a girl's night. Jaz won't be home until late." I said.

"Yeah. We should invite mom to come over too." She said. It might be nice to have a buffer between Bree and I. Adding Victoria to the evening took the pressure off.

"That sounds great! I'll call in the order can you pick it up?" I asked.

"Yeah! I'll call mom. I'll head over now." She said.

"Wait! Let me send my money with you." I said.

"No, my treat!" she said closing the door.

I placed the order and called Jaz. I told him everything and he sighed.

"I'll call Rylie and see if he wants to grab a burger." He said, "Call when the girls leave. Love you!"

"Love you too! I'll see ya tonight!" I said. After I hung up and set out dinner dishes.

Victoria knocked softly on the door and handed me a couple of bottles of wine, "No ladies' night is complete without wine and I brought Magic Mike with me." I giggled and she fanned herself.

"Hey, mom! No!" Bree groaned as she saw the movie.

"Oh Come on! You two have handsome young men in your lives. I have Mr. Mike!" She said. Bree and I both giggled as she fanned herself again looking dreamy'

"Alright! Alright!" I giggled. This is the one and only girls' night we watch 'Mr. Mike' though!"

We fixed our plates and cracked open one of the bottles of wine and started the movie. Bree and I giggled as we watched Victoria pant after the dancers pranced around the screen. We laughed and talked as Victoria shh'ed us claiming that this was the best part of the movie. By the second bottle Victoria had clearly had entirely too much. When the movie ended we called Jaz to come help us get Victoria home. Bree was going to stay with her. Jaz came home with Rylie Raylen and they took his mom and Bree to their house. Jaz came back with Raylen sleeping on his shoulder.

"I hope you don't mind. Bree and Rylie have a lot to talk about so I offered to watch Raylen." He said.

"That's fine. I hope they can work things out. Bree was really upset." I said. Making out the pack and play and putting it in Ali's room. He smiled putting Raylen in the playpen.

"I think they will. This was a wake-up call. Ry loves her but he needs her to see that her actions have consequences. I guess she's been making him take Raylen to his mom's before class and stuff like that. I guess she is paying for a sitter so she can go play and she is maxing out credit cards as fast as she can apply for them." He said as we walked back to the livingroom.

"Wow! Tell Rylie I don't mind watching Raylen when he needs me too that way he's not late." I offered as I started cleaning up.

"I will." He smiled. His grin widened when he saw the wine bottle and two glasses on the coffee table.

"The glasses were Bree's and mine. Your mom gave you on the glass all together and just opted for the bottle. Oh crap! She forgot her movie!" Jaz ejected the movie and chuckled, "I get you had fun." He chuckled wiggling his eye brows.

"Not nearly as much as you mom!" I giggled and launched into the story of our night which had Jaz laughing.

"She really said that Rylie and I should watch this to get some moves?" He said laughed.

"Oh yes! She even stopped and rewound the parts that she thought that all young men needed to know! It was really quite disturbing. Bree and I are scarred for life." I giggled.

"Well then, I guess you should show me!" Jaz said trying to act serious.

"No! I can never watch this movie again. The memories of tonight are just too…" I giggled.

"I'm glad you had fun." He smiled helping me finish up the dishes and carted out the trash.

"So do you want some more practice?" He asked seductively.

"Mmmm…Sound good!" I said jumping into his arms.

The next morning he almost didn't get up on time. Not that he was complaining. He chuckled and told me, "Best night ever!" before he kissed me and headed out the door. Oh how I loved that man! I cleaned up breakfast and took a shower and dressed for the day. I checked on the babies and then went to the livingroom, opened the door to let the cool morning air in and sat on the couch thinking about the night before. Who knew that Jaz had a little Magic Mike action in him. I was pulled out of my thoughts by Bree.

"Gross! Quit thinking of my brother like that and let me in!" She teased.

I chuckled and opened the door, "Jaz said you and Rylie talked last night."

"Yeah, we did. We have a long road ahead but I think we will be ok." She said, "Is Raylen awake yet?"

"Not yet. He was you quite a bit last night so he may sleep for a while. Do you have time for coffee?" I asked her.

"Yeah I have time. So Raylen wasn't sad was he?" She worried.

"No, the just wanted to play so gave him a sippy of warm milk, I read him some books and he finally crashed." I said handing her a cup of coffee. This was the first time I had really looked at her. She looked like it had been a rough night, her face was swollen and splotchy, her eyes were blood shot, and she had dark circles under her eyes.

"Bree did you sleep at all last night?" I asked gently.

"No." She said miserable, "Rylie and I talked and then he left moms. He says that we aren't ready to be together. HE said I could spend the day with Raylen and then he was taking him back to his mom's with him tonight." She sniffed.

"You don't need coffee you need a nap. Go sleep and I will wake you when the kids wake up." I said feeling sorry for Bree. I knew that she had created this situation but I hated that it was hurting her.

Ali awakened and I quietly tiptoed back past the couch. I fed Ali breakfast and then we played until I heard Raylen wake up. I picked him up and fed him breakfast then woke Bree. We walked to her house and I watched the kids while she took a shower. I was amazed at the lack of keeping this house had. I loaded her dishwasher and started it and then tidied up alittle. By the time Bree was dressed I had the kitchen and livingroom cleaned and while the kids circled the coffee table.

"Wow! Bella you didn't have to do that." She said.

"I know Bree. Sometimes we all need a little help here and there." I said.

"That is another complaint that Rylie has. HE is a neat freak and the house drives him crazy." She said hanging her head, " I know he works hard in school to provide a better life for us and I should keep the house picked up but there's just so much stuff to do. See," she said holding up a stack of brand new clothes with tags still on them.

"Do you have a place for those?" I said looking around the room seeing piles of brand new with the tags still on clothes everywhere.

"No. I was shopping Friday and I went a little crazy with the credit card. I don't even know why I bought all of this stuff." She admitted.

"Do you have the receipt? We could always take it back." I said.

"It's just embarrassing to do." She said handing over a $1,500 receipt and a $900 receipt.

"Bree, a credit card isn't free money." I said as I sorted stuff out according to receipts and turned as she handed me another receipt. Once all was sorted out we loaded the clothes it to Shopping bags and walked to the small boutiques to return it all. We clerks were fairly nice and removed the charges from her card.

We got back to her house to find Rylie inside waiting, "Where's all of the clothes?" He asked her, "I need to take it back. I can't afford to …"

"Rylie, I took it back today." She said then handed him her credit card, "I'm sorry. I…love you." She sounded so small and it broke my heart.

He engulfed her in a hug, "I love you too, Bree. This is killing me." He said sadly. I took the kids outside to give them some time. When Rylie came out it was clear that he had been crying. "I'll be back for Raylen." He said softly. I called Jaz and he came to get the kids and I went back in to find Bree sitting in Raylen's floor gathering his clothes.

"HE's not coming back. He said he just doesn't know if he should." She sobbed. Jaz came in and took his sister in his arms and I quietly told Jaz that I was going to go and left the room. Jaz had both babies asleep on the couch so I slipped out and called Rylie. He agreed to meet me at the house and I sprinted across the park to meet him.

"Bella, before you say anything this separation has nothing to do with you." He said.

I led him inside and then asked, "Do you love her?"

"More than life itself." He said softly.

"Is there anywhere else you would rather be?" I asked.

"No! I hate this! I just want my family back." he said firmly.

"Then fight for it! If you really want your family back then go home! Go to counseling. Rylie, I spent the day with her today and by the end it was crystal clear that she is addicted to shopping. She needs help." I told him.

"Counseling. I think that may work. Thank you Bella." he said pulling me in to a bone crushing hug and running out the door.

I smiled when Jaz came through the door ten minutes later.

"What did you say to him? He's home. They are going to go see a therapist. You are amazing." He grinned kissing my cheek then taking Ali to lay her down.

I sat on the couch and waited for Jaz.

"I told him that if he loved her then he had to fight for her." I answered.

"You are amazing. I'm sure that Bree will be thankful." He said holding me close. I had my doubts about Bree and I still. Once things were good in her life again I feared that she would turn on me again but only time will tell.

The week flew by. Wednesday I took Esme over to see my dress and she and Victoria where being all secretive and giggly when I came back from removing the dress. They were getting along well these days. When Friday arrived and we headed home to the farm I was so excited it wasn't even funny. Victoria rode with Bree and Rylie following us home. We were surprised to find that Em and Rose had their home finished and were living there.

Saturday morning, Victoria and Esme "kid napped" me to get me ready for the wedding. All day they kept me until finally I was buffed and polished and deemed perfect by the 2 momma's, rose, and Bree. I slipped into my dress and reached for my boots.

"Wait! Bella, I got you a gift that I had hoped you would wear." Victoria said handing me a large gift wrapped package. I opened it and grinned. The boots I has saw in the store that were perfect with the dress were lying in the box. "The boots! They are gorgeous! Thank you! I love them!" I said as I teared up. I slipped them on just as Dad appeared at the door. "Are you ready? Everything is ready and Jaz is pacing the floor at the house. Carlisle's giving him a hard time about Bella running off." He said.

"He would! His father did that to him when we got married!" Victoria laughed.

"That's so mean!" Esme chirped whipping out her phone. I smiled as she reassured Jaz that we were coming. Victoria, Esme, Dad and I rode to the farm together. Bree and Rose followed. When we got to the farm it was time to start. I know you are supposed to drink every detail about your wedding in and I did at the first one but the only thing I could focus on was Jaz and those sexy, painted-on wranglers. Dad set the pace and kept me from running to Jaz and the 2 minute walk felt like an eternity. I so badly wanted to be in his arms. Dad chuckled at the impatient huff as he slowly walked me to Jaz. Once we were there and Dad put my hands in Jaz's he whispered to the two of us, "This is how it should be. Take care of our baby girl Jaz. Renee always knew that you would!"

"I will sir, always!" Jaz murmured back.

I stared into Jaz's eyes lost in the emotion I saw there. He squeezed my hands as the Minister prompted me to said "I do!" the only thing that snapped me back to reality was when Jaz kissed me breathless!

After the wedding was over and the guests were all dining Jaz teased, "You didn't hear a word that was said during the wedding did you?"

I grinned and he pulled me in close, "Not really."

We greeted Edward whom had received a chilly reception from my dad, Emmett, and Rose. He didn't stay long after he ate and congratulated us. Esme thanked us for being kind to him while Rose gave us the "Have you completely lost your mind" speech. The celebration lasted well into the night and finally at midnight Jaz ended the party. We were exhausted falling asleep in each other's arms. The next morning came and went. Jaz and I spent the day in bed snuggling and making love.

When we headed back home with Ali babbling happily in the back seat I couldn't help but think soon Jaz and I could have our own child in the backseat and I couldn't help but smile!


	19. Chapter 19

I don't own twilight! This will be the final chapter!

Bella POV

It had been 4 months since I married my best friend and things were perfect! It was now December and we were getting ready to head home for Christmas. I had opted not to run with Jaz this morning because there was something I needed to take care of. I watched him as he sprinted off out of sight and then I locked the door and headed for my purse. I had been extra tired lately and the thought of Mexican food sent me running for the bathroom and I was wondering if Jaz and I were going to be parents. I fished out the box and headed into the bathroom. I stood staring at the test with a goofy grin on my face as the two lines appeared. I pulled out my phone and snapped a picture and text Jaz, "Merry Christmas Daddy!" and attached the picture to the message and hit send and then went to unlock the door.

Two minutes later he came breezing through the door and swept me into his arms, "Really? How long have you known?" He asked.

"I took the test this morning. I'm not late or anything I have just been feeling different for the last week so I picked up a test." I said from my perch on his lap.

"So how do we know when the baby is due?" He worried.

"When we get back to town we need to see Dr. Call." I said.

"I'll call him now!" Jaz rushed pulling out his phone.

"Babe, it's 7:30 in the morning. His office doesn't open until 9." I chuckled.

"Well, we'll call from the road." He said firmly. "I love you Bella! You and our child mean the world to me."

We were ready to head home after a quick call to Dr. Call for a baby appointment. Once on the road Jaz and I discussed when to tell our families. I liked the idea of keeping our baby news to ourselves for awhile. We had our appointment for mid-morning and Jaz and I were barely going to make it. The drive went quickly and soon we were being ushered back to a patient room. When we left the doctor's office we had heart the fluttering heartbeat of our little angel and according to the ultra sound I was about 4 weeks pregnant. Dr. Call said by late August our little one would make his or her appearance. Jaz and I tucked the ultrasound picture away and headed home. Jaz talked to our baby all day I was alittle worried about Christmas dinner with our family because it was becoming obvious that Jaz couldn't keep his hands off of my tummy.

Jaz grinned as I swatted his hands away for the thousand time while cooking the Christmas dinner. Our families would be here any minute and he was still fawning over the imaginary baby bump.

"If you keep on we are going to have to tell everyone about the baby." I said playfully swatting his hand again.

"Baby?" Edward said as he chased Ali in. He stood looking from me to Jaz.

"Shhh!" Is anyone else here?" I hissed.

"No it's just me in here for now, Mom and Carlisle and grabbing the pies. My job is to chase this little monster… I'm sorry, I should have knocked." He said scooping a giggling Ali into his arms.

"It's ok! Will you keep our secret?" Jaz said.

"Yeah!" He said softly, "Congratulations."

"Thanks!" we both said.

True to his word Edward kept our secret even pulling Jaz away a couple times before his hands could reach the spot that our baby lay hidden. I smiled thankfully at him at those times. I noticed that he and Jaz talked a lot more than they had in quite a while. I managed to cover the queasiness well enough or so I thought until Victoria and Esme entered the kitchen.

"We're onto you! I have wondered for a couple weeks but now I am sure! You're pregnant!" She said softly placing a tender hand on my tummy.

Jaz walked in and blurted, "You told her?"

"No. You just did." I grinned, watching Esme's and Victoria's eyes flood with happy tears at the confirmation.

"I'm so happy for you two." They squealed.

"In August you will get to start spoiling a new grandbaby. We will either welcome Carly Renee or Garret Charles in to our family." Jaz said. That brought tears to my dad's eyes.

By the end of Christmas dinner I may as well have super glued Jaz's hands to my tummy. This Christmas was one of healing the family. Everyone with exception of Rose seemed to follow our lead and accept Edward back into the family. Rose was still ignoring him. They had once been so close visiting together while Emmett and I visited. I knew that she had once considered him one of her best friends and could see that the situation was killing both of them. I waited until almost everyone had cleared out and then followed Edward into the kitchen calling for Rose when I got there. The pained look that crossed Edward's face as I blocked his escape wasn't missed by Rose and she came in.

"What is your problem?" She growled at him.

"Stop it!" I cut her off, "You two were friends once! And if he had slugged Jasper that day you two would still be friends."

"Rose, I'm sorry. I know that I screwed up bad and I didn't just lose Bella that day." He whispered sadly.

"The day I cheated on Bella, I screwed up our friendship too. I probably could have earned it back if not for my temper. Rose, I know I can never earn your friendship back but please, just don't hate me." He whispered miserably.

"I don't hate you." Rose said.

"Thank you, that means a lot to know." He said softly.

"Edward, please don't give up on our friendship. I need my friend." She sobbed. I slipped out of the kitchen as Edward pulled Rose into a hug. I hauled Emmett outside unwilling to let their reunion be interrupted.

"So they're friends again?" Emmett sighed irritated.

"Yes! They are friends again." I said hoping that he wasn't mad.

"She's missed him. As bad as I hate it he was good friend to her." He sighed, "She needs him now. Her nightmares are back. They have been for quite some time now." He confided in me, "He helped her with them the first time."

"I never knew she had nightmares." I mused.

"Yeah, the summer after our senior year we found out we were expecting. At the beginning of the 6th month she started having pains and we rushed to the hospital. The doctor said that the baby's heart beat was weakening. So All that night we sat in the hospital with her hooked up to monitors, crying as we heard our baby's heartbeat slow and slow until there was nothing. The second that the baby died there was just a hollow look in My Rosie's eyes. She still had to give birth to him. He was a tiny little thing. I would have had a little boy." He whispered dropping to his knees, "She has nightmares about hearing him crying as his heart-rate is dropping but she can't get to him. He cries until his final heart beat and that's when Rose wakes up screaming and crying. I feel so powerless. There's nothing I can do for her. She is nearing the 6th month mark and we are both terrified. I can't handle losing another one."

Tears filled my eyes as I pulled Emmett in to a hug. He cried on my shoulder for a while, "I'm so sorry, Em! I'm sorry you went through that! You are not alone! I am here, Em!" I repeated to him.

After a while he stood and asked, "Will you walk with me? I'm not ready to face everyone." He said and we walked down to the pond. "You know, I never told anyone before, she told Edward but other than that no one knows. I think that's what bothers me the most. We have his ashes waiting to spread them until we settled in to the place that we would live forever. Now that we are settled it just seems wrong to scatter his ashes just Rose and I and have no one know he ever existed."

"We could have a memorial for him." I gently suggested, "We could tell the family about him and then we could bury the ashes or scatter them." I said.

"But what would we even say to people? How do you tell someone something like this? I don't even know if Rose would want to. It's almost too painful to share." He said in a scratchy voice.

"You need to talk to her. This is bothering both of you and I don't think you two are talking to each other about it, are you?" I asked gently.

"No, we're not. We avoid the subject, like if we voice our fears that they will come true." He said looking over at me, "I know we need to talk but it's just...Well, there's never a good time." He said.

"Em, there's never going to be a good time. It's going to be hard and painful but maybe if you lay your little one to rest you can grieve and deal with the pain. I'm here for you anytime." I said softly leaning in to his shoulder.

We lapsed into silence as we watched Rose and Edward walking out toward us. Em had a panicked look in his eye, "Bells, I can't do this now." His voice quivered.

"I'm here if you need me." I softly supported as they walked up.

"Em, I'm sorry!" Rose whispered.

"Rosie, you have nothing to be sorry for." he said.

"No! I do. I have been so focused on me that I never considered that you were in pain too." She said as she hugged him.

I started to step away but Em grabbed my shirt sleeve in a vice like grip and said, "Don't go!" then to Rose, "I want a memorial to him. Parker deserves to have his family know that he was here and that we love and miss him."

"Ok. I was given similar advice." She said softly, "Em, how do we do it? Everyone's so happy. Can we wait until after Christmas?" she said sadly.

We sat and discussed the memorial and finally it was settled that we would have a Memorial service for Parker of the 28th of December. Edward and I were taking care of all of the arrangements that they had requested. When we walked back I could barely think. Em and Rose walked ahead.

"All this time you knew." I said to Edward.

"She asked me not to say anything to anyone." He said softly, "I think that's why I backed away from you." I looked over at him as he continued, "I couldn't imagine losing a child. I pulled away until it seemed I was too far away to find my way back and then I met Sarah and well you know the rest. It was stupid and I'm not making excuses but I thought you should know that it was because I was a coward that I messed up the best thing that ever happened to me." I nodded and flashed him a grim smile but said nothing.

That evening after everyone had gone Jaz was quiet as he helped me clean. I waited until we were done cleaning and then when I was snuggled into his side on the couch to talk to him.

"You're quiet." I observed, "What's wrong?"

"I could ask you the same thing. Emmett and Rosalie are acting strange. Is their baby ok?" he worried.

"Rose and the baby are fine. There is something though. No one else but me and Edward know right now. Emmett said I could tell you too. Do you remember the summer after your senior year?" I began.

"Yeah, They were different that summer." He recalled.

"They were expecting." I said.

"That explains a lot." He mused then realized were I must be going with the story. "What happened to the baby?"

"She lost the child in the beginning of her 6th month. She started having pains and they rushed to the hospital. The doctor said that the baby's heart beat was weakening. So they sat in the hospital with her hooked up to monitors, crying as their baby's heartbeat slowed to a stop. She still had to give birth to him. She is having nightmares about hearing him crying as his heart-rate is dropping but she can't get to him. He cries until his final heart beat and that's when Rose wakes up screaming and crying. She is nearing the 6th month mark and they are both afraid of losing another baby. They had him cremated and were hanging on to his ashes until they bought a place then they were going to scatter his ashes. They want to have a memorial service for him. On the 28th we are having a memorial service.

The next day I invited everyone over on the 26th for dinner. On the 26th after everyone was assembled again and dinner started and it was time to tell everyone, Rose began to cry. Emmett looked lost as he retold the story that he had told me minus the nightmares that Rose had been having. Edward helped him out when he couldn't go on. He told everyone about the memorial that would be held at Emmett and Rose's house. Rose expounded on her fears that the same thing would happen with the child she was carrying now. We all cried a lot that night. No one left, we banded together like families do. We would all support and love Em and Rose through this.

On December 28th we gathered for the memorial. The pastor read a few hopeful and uplifting verses from the bible, Parker's ashes were scattered and a memorial stone was placed in the yard. We released balloons as a symbol of letting go and then we spent the day with Emmett and Rose.

By the time we returned home I was exhausted emotionally and physically I fell into bed and barely noticed Jaz hands stroking the skin on my lower tummy as I fell asleep.

We headed back to school on the 4th of January and found the city animal control worker trying to grab a black and white fur ball out from under Jaz's truck. He stood up as we pulled up.

"Hello folks!" he said walking over to us. A fuzzy puppy came crawling out from under the truck.

"Oh my gosh! That's the cutest baby I have ever seen." I crooned.

"This little fellow is causing quite the stir around here. Someone dumped him off at the park. He can't be more than a few weeks old and no one can catch him. He's starving and needs someone to take care of him."

I walked over and he backed under the truck so I sat on my knees and called him over. He cautiously crawled over to me. I gentle stroked his matted fur and could feel every bone in his little body. I scooped him up and looked over to where Jaz was standing with the city worker and grinned as he said, "I think he found a new home." I giggled as the puppy started sucking on my fingers.

I took him in the house and heated him a bowl of milk. He sat and howled the cutest little howl ever. I finally dug out one of Ali's old bottles and poured the milk in it and scooped him up. Jaz rolled his eyes as the goofy little bundle slurped and groaned as he drained the bottle. We took him to the vet that afternoon and found that he was some kind of Pyrenees cross and was about 5 weeks old. We bought some puppy milk replacer and some canned dog food. I enjoyed caring for my little bear as Jaz called him and the name stuck. Ali loved him and chased him around the house and led him around all over the park. He was the center attraction at the book store when I did story hour. He was such a well behaved dog. He was just an old soul. He followed me everywhere I went.

The rest of the year flew by. In March Rose and Emmett welcomed 8 pound 5 oz baby Reed into their family. Everyone doted on him. He was spoiled before he was 2 days old. Emmett and Rose never put him down. Rose talked to me about watching him this summer when she went back to work and of course I said I would.

Before I knew it May had crept up and Jaz had finished school. Jaz and I loaded up our stuff and headed home to the farm for good. It felt so good to be back home! I would miss seeing Bree and Victoria everyday but I was home. I took a leisurely ride on Diesel the first day we were home and Bear bounded along beside us. I had missed the feeling of freedom that riding induced. I rode up to the house just about the time Jaz pulled up. He grinned and hopped out of his truck.

"I know Dr. Call said it was ok for you to ride since your horse was so calm but it still makes me a little nervous." Jaz said.

"So does me driving or taking a walk or taking a shower or…" I started listing all of the things that he had told me made him nervous.

"Ok, Ok! I get it." He said chuckling, "Here let me help you put him away." helping me down off of my horse. We walked to the barn and were greeted by the friendly nickers of Ace and Duce. After Diesel was groomed, fed and pampered as well as the other two, we walked to the house escorted of course by my fuzzy companion. Soon after I had an ultrasound and found I was carrying twins and soon we would have a Garrett and a Carly.

I started watching Reed and Ali full time when Rose started back to work. Reed was a nightmare the first 2 weeks. He was a "Hold-Me" Baby. Rose and Emmett held him constantly and he expected the same from me. I finally got him to be content to sit in his swing and take his nap in his play-pen. Rose came to pick him up today and was amazed that he was sitting in a swing not screaming. I told her that I had to get him settled into a routine because when twins arrived I wouldn't have time to hold him all day.

The summer past quickly and soon it was September. Two weeks before my due date I had an ultrasound that showed that the cord was wrapped around the Carly's arm and neck. Dr. Call scheduled me for a c-section that afternoon. Jaz and I would meet out babies soon. I was admitted to the hospital and soon Jaz was by my side. There wasn't time enough to call the family. As we were headed up to surgery we saw Edward and had him call everyone. It took 9 minutes from the initial cut to the time I was holding Garrett Charles in my arms. He was protesting the cold, bright world loudly. I grinned at him as he screamed out his great displeasure. I felt myself blacking out and said, "Jaz, take him." The last thing I remember in the terror on his face as Jaz took him from me. When I woke up it was dark outside and Jaz was feeding Garrett a bottle humming softly to him. He grinned as me look up at me.

"How are you feeling?" he asked softly bringing Garrett over to me.

"Tired." I mumbled, "What happened?"

"There were complications." Carlisle said from the corner.

"Oh God! Carly?" I asked looking wildly around the room.

"She's ok! I've got her." My dad said.

I settled down as I saw my dad rocking Carly. I listened as Carlisle told me that these two would be the only biological children that I would have. I zoned out after I heard the word hysterectomy he said something about uncontrollable bleeding or something like that. I hadn't thought about having more children but I did want the option. I didn't know how to feel. I was elated that Garrett and Carly were here and healthy and that I would be there to watch them grow but part of me felt like less of a woman. I snuggled with my babies for a while and then we laid them down. After Carlisle and my dad left, Jaz snuggled in beside me.

"I was terrified I was gona lose you today." He whispered in a shaky voice, "Your dad said that was what killed your mother." He held me gently and I felt his tears on my neck.

"I'm here! I'm ok." I said hugging him. He finally regained his composure and leaned back against the bed with me.

"I hate this place." He said.

"I agree!" I said. We snuggled together and fell asleep.

Dr. Call was in bright and early in the morning to check me and the babies over. The babies were doing great and so was I considering everything. He said that he was keeping me until at least tomorrow. I was too tired to argue. Jaz and I dozed in between caring for the twins, who were easy babies so far. There was little to no fussing. That evening was filled with family and doting on my two adorable little angels. The next morning I begged shamelessly to go home and finally that evening Dr. Call relented because Jaz promised that I would be on bed rest there and he was taking the rest of the week off to insure that I followed doctor's orders and took it easy. I was pleasantly surprised to find that there were two bassinets beside the bed a lilac purple and a pale baby blue. I was pampered by Esme and Victoria who had basically moved in. I was shocked that they got along so well. A couple days later at my doctor's appointment I was given the ok to start doing light activities and could move around the house as much as I wanted to. The grandmas finally went home when the twins where three weeks old. A couple days later Victoria came back with Bree and Rylie. Rylie had been offered a job here. Jenks and Mason had split and now the two were Jenks and Whitlock and Mason and Associates. Rylie was now working for Anthony Mason. I was overjoyed to find Bree was expecting again. They found a little 3 bedroom house to rent but where still looking for a permanent residence. Victoria bounced back and forth between Bree's house and ours. I was never as relieved as I was the day she announced that she was moving into the newly remodeled apartments in town. I loved my family but I needed time to myself too. Everyone still congregated at the farm after church on Sunday's for lunch and every Friday night for a family dinner. They also had most birthdays here. Everything was falling together and we now had everything we ever dreamed of.


End file.
